With all the miraculous blessings that a baby brings, the life you had before it came into the world is gone forever. No more spontaneous outings, putting your own preferences first, being reckless and carefree. Of course these sacrifices are well worth it, most parents would agree. But that doesn’t mean they don’t feel some grief over their former selves.
And it’s this fear of missing out, aka FOMO, that has one mom thanking her lucky stars that she didn’t have her first child until the ripe old age of 33.
Style content creator and new mom Kristie shared in a TikTok video how having a childfree 20s helped her going into her pregnancy at 33 with zero worries of missing out.
“Becoming a first-time mom at 33, 10 out of 10, hear me out,” she said in the clip, acknowledging that pregnancies later in life aren’t without potential risks.
But, at least in her experience, having “15 years to be selfish” allowed her the opportunity to really become ready to be a mom on an emotional, mental and financial level.
So now that she is pregnant, she feels like she has “been there, done that” with the pre-mom activities, and can completely appreciate the new chapter of her life.
“This has been such an amazing time. I haven’t done a lot in the past three and a half months. I’m just kind of soaked in the time with my daughter. Not watching everybody’s Instagram stories, traveling or going out to dinner or going out on the weekends. And I’m not like, ‘I wish I was doing that.’ I’m like, ‘I’ve already done that. I’ve already done that a lot.’”
Nowadays, she’s perfectly content to “just enjoy the little things,” like the cup of coffee she’s about to have as her daughter takes a nap.
@astylechild but also somehow simultaneously feeling like a teen mom
Kristie’s video clearly struck a chord with other moms who had their first kids later in life, and had similar positive experiences.
“34 with a 2 month old! PhD, JD done and more secure and no fomo! We lived and ate well!” one person wrote.
“100%. Had my first baby at 33 and I cannot imagine having one in my 20’s!! I’m glad I had my selfish time pre baby ❤️” another added.
Others simply agreed that just because our biology tends to favor getting pregnant in our 20s and even younger, life doesn’t often accommodate for that kind of timeline.
“I just turned 30 and the thought of having children anytime soon is WILD to me,” one person wrote.
As the Mayo Clinic explains, “The biological clock is a fact of life. But there’s nothing magical about age 35. It’s simply an age at which risks become more discussion worthy.” And that’s a great way of framing it. Sure, there are things to be aware of, like fertility issues, health risks, and potential complications—but that doesn’t mean it’s unwise to hold off on starting a family until you’re fully ready.
Frankly, the societal pressure to have a baby before 30 might be due in part to the medical risks, but let’s be honest: it’s also another way women are taught to feel “past their prime” after the first quarter of their entire life. Luckily, women like Kristie sharing their stories helps break through that kind of stigma.