We’ve probably all (especially moms and wives) have had it up to here with stories of men not being able to really pull their weight in partnerships.
So when I present to you a story about a husband leaving behind a sink full of dirty dishes for his wife to find, you’d probably sooner roll your eyes and contemplate hopping over to Instagram instead than give this one a read.
But hold on just a second, because this story has a surprising hopeful twist.
In a now-viral TikTok post, a wife named Susan shows the mess she woke up to the morning after her husband had friends over to watch a game.
She was initially fuming as she approached the disarray. That is, until she saw the note her husband left behind, saying “I got it!”
For Susan, this changed everything. Her husband acknowledged his mess, communicated that awareness with his wife, and didn’t leave it assuming someone else would take care of it. Which, in turn, made her feel seen and looked out for.
“I just love that he acknowledges that [he] left a mess in the sink, and don’t worry, he’ll take responsibility for it, but anyways, we’ve come so far,” Susan says in the clip.
@susandoingsusanthings Leaving a simple note instantly made me not care about the dishes in the sink!! I love communication and we have come so far!! #susandoingsusanthings #marriedlife #marriage #marriagehumor #marriagegoals #marriagecomedy #marriagelife ♬ original sound – SusanDoingSusanThings
Many viewers agreed that this small shift made a world of difference.
“I love this. Like he was tired and didn’t want to do it but knows you shouldn’t have to. What ace communication and all it took was a post-it” one person wrote.
Another echoed, “It’s that easy!!! Like do I want to do the dishes after hosting? Heck no. Let me sleep and I’ll do it in the morning. But the note changes it ALL 🥰.”
On the other hand, many people were still left frustrated, arguing that expectations were still far too low if this simple gesture is receiving such applause.
One person even lamented, “That big sigh and you’ve come so far, I wonder how many fights it took 😫,” to which Susan replied, “We’ve been together for 20 years… Fight = growth.”
She also reiterated that the purpose of the post was to show in real-time how healthy, thoughtful communication between partners can help transform even the most menial task into a positive, even relationship-fortifying, experience.
And that is probably the biggest, most beneficial takeaway to lean into here. Ongoing communication difficulties is listed as the number one cause of divorce, even beating out infidelity. Yes, of course, moms are tired of being the default parents and wives are tired of pulling double duty, but if this story is any indicator, they are also yearning for their partners to meet them halfway on the communication front as well.
And as we can see, even the smallest gestures make big impacts.
In case anyone was wondering: Susan’s husband did do the dishes the next day ❤️
This article originally appeared on 1.6.24