Women are often saddled with the mental load of the household in romantic relationships, there are multiple articles covering the topic. It can be daunting to be in charge of remembering all of the things, essentially becoming a house manager by default. Many times this isn’t an arrangement that is discussed, it seems to be either an expectation due to parental modeling or falling into gender roles.
Morgan Strickell was not planning to fall into the trap of being her family’s sole organizer and distributer of information. This was a boundary she and her husband were clear about before getting married but recently had to reinforce. The soon-to-be mom, took to her TikTok page to explain that she is not interested in being her husband’s “kin keeper.”
Strickell is pregnant with her first child and after news was posed on social media, her mother in law’s feeling were hurt after finding out the news second hand. It was this situation that prompted the woman’s video.
“I refuse to be the primary communicator with my husband’s side of the family,” Strickell starts. “A few weeks ago my mother-in-law was on the phone with us and she expressed that she was a little bit hurt because she keeps finding out things about our pregnancy from her sister who sees the posts on social media.”
The woman explains that this is news to her as she assumed her husband had been communicating the news to his mother. So when they had another ultrasound appointment she reminded her husband to send the information to his mom, to which he asked why she couldn’t inform his mom for him. That’s when Strickwell had to reinforce her boundary, reminding him that it is his job to inform his side of the family of important information.
Strickwell has a good relationship with her mother in-law and speaks to her on a fairly regular basis, so it’s not a matter of an unpleasant relationship. The soon-to-be mom is simply not adding additional things to her plate that then become the expectation. Many people in the comments agreed with her approach.
@morganstrickell #family #momsoftiktok #inlaws ♬ original sound – Morgan Elisa Strickell
I’m on your side and I’m actually the mom of three boys who don’t communicate with me, but it is their responsibility to keep me in the loop not their wives,” a commenter says.
“Last year my husband told me I was wrong for not including his mom in my Mother’s Day shopping and I kindly reminded him that we in fact do not share the same mom,” another writes.
“Stay strong on this, it only gets worse after the kid is born,” someone declares.
“You are correct and the next thing he’ll have you do is buying birthday presents birthday cards for his family and everything becomes your responsibility,” another person says.
In another video, Strickell clarified that her husband isn’t worried about his communication in with his mother. She also says this isn’t an issue that comes up often in their relationship because he is very good at communicating with his family. But Strickwell’s intention was to use that example as a means to make sure people are aware that the responsibility of communication doesn’t have to fall on the female partner in the relationship.