As much as modern parents prioritize open, honest communication with their kids, there are still some talks that will always feel challenging to have.
But according to Dr. Meghan Martin, a pediatric emergency room physician and mom of four with a hefty social media following, making those awkward conversations just a little smoother all comes down to location, location, location.
“Those awkward, but really important conversations that you need to have with your kids The birds and the bees, protection, drugs, all of that stuff: have those conversations in the car,” “ she says in a clip posted to her TikTok.
Martin declared that this “brilliant” insight given to her by best friend, handle @teawiththeteach, is the “best piece of parenting advice” she’s ever received.
Here’s why.
“You have your hands on the wheel, you are looking straight ahead, you do not have to be making eye contact with anyone talking about the birds and the bees and the parts and the drugs or whatever that conversation is about that day. You also have a captive audience that is literally seat belted in behind you,” she explained.
Not having to maintain intense eye contact makes the entire conversation less embarrassing and vulnerable for everyone involved. And where there’s less embarrassment, there’s more room for things to actually be heard.
Plus, unlike having a talk at home, which already has serious undertones, cars are instantly more casual, making things less of a “big deal,” Martin noted. Just think, wouldn’t it be nice to instantly throw on an upbeat playlist after having one of these chats…rather than sitting in awkward silence?
Martin herself has tried this approach with her two older kids, and said the car has now become a “safe place” for things to be talked about. They even bring up their own questions to discuss.
“I’m starting to have these conversations with my younger kids,” she concluded, “and I want to emphasize how important it is to talk about these issues early so that when you get to that older teen/pre-teen time that it’s not the first time they’re hearing about it.”
Martin isn’t the only one to have tried car talk either. Many folks in the comments shared how they have successfully brought up difficult subjects on car trips.
“Yes, my oldest is 26 and I still have big conversations with him in the car. At that age I wait until we’re on the interstate so he can’t jump out,” one person wrote.
“I love the car for tough conversations even with my spouse,” added another.
A few recalled having their own tough car conversations as kids.
“My mom ALWAYS did this,”one viewer said, adding “I still get anxiety in the car with her wondering what she is going to bring up and I have my own family now. … I am glad she did and that she cared enough to have those conversations.”
Another parent even shared how they added in one other element to make for smoother discussions, writing ““I did this. Add an ice cream cone to connect something enjoyable for the brain to connect to. My boys would ask for ice cream drives when they had something serious they wanted to discuss.”
Other resources have pondered other factors that make conversations seem to flow easier in a car, like the close proximity, limited distractions, and the changing scenery which helps create the sense that we’re not stuck with a problem. An article posted in Symptoms of Living also surmises that having a shared destination and facing the same direction also play a big part.
Having big talks with kids might be difficult, but it’s all an integral part of being a parent. Hopefully this tidbit can make things easier for everyone involved.
Just remember to have that upbeat playlist at the ready!