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‘Princess Bride’ star Mandy Patinkin shared a moving detail about the film with a grieving woman

There was an emotional exchange on TikTok between two people who lost their fathers to cancer. One was actor Mandy Patinkin, the other was TikTok user Amanda Webb.

Patinkin currently stars on “The Good Fight” but one of his most famous roles is Inigo Montoya in the 1987 classic “The Princess Bride.” In the film, Montoya is a swordsman who is obsessed with confronting a six-fingered man who killed his father.

Webb recently lost her father Dan to mantle cell lymphoma. She had heard a rumor that Patinkin used his father’s death from cancer as motivation in a pivotal scene where he confronts the six-fingered Count Rugen (Christopher Guest) in a duel.


Rugen tells Montoya he will give him anything he wants after being bested by Montoya who passionately replies, “I want my father back, you son of a bitch.”

@mandypatinktok @alaska_webb thank you for finding us and sharing this! ✨ Sending big love and light to you and yours. More in comments. #grieving #cancer #dads ♬ original sound – Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn G

Webb’s father was a big fan of Montoya’s performance in the film so she reached out to TikTok to learn if the rumor was true.

“I saw on the internet the rumor that when Mandy Patinkin said that line, he was thinking of his own father who had passed away from cancer,” Webb said while crying. “And it was a very raw emotion. Ever since then, it’s kind of really stuck with me.”

Patinkin, who is a TikTok user, heard that the woman had reached out to him and he gave a heartfelt response.

“First of all, your dad is taking care of you,” he said. “Secondly, it is true, 100% true. I went outside in this castle and walked around and I kept talking to my dad.”

“The minute I read the script, I knew, I said to [his wife], I said, ‘I’m going to do this part because in my mind, if I get the six-fingered guy, that means I killed the cancer that killed my dad and I’ll get to visit my dad,” he said.

“That moment was coming, and I went and I played that scene with Chris [Guest], and then I went back out there and talked to my dad,” Patinkin said.

He then told Webb that she has the power to talk to her father, too.

“And so, you can talk to your dad anytime you want, anywhere you want,” he said. “If you could somehow let me know your dad’s name because I say prayers for anyone I’ve ever known. Now I feel like I know you, and therefore I know your dad, and I will list his name in my prayers every day, and they make me feel like they’re with me, wherever I go, and I’d like your dad to hang out with me.”

Webb responded with a video where she’s so emotional she can hardly speak.

This story originally appeared on 08.25.21

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We Ranked West Coast IPAs To Add Some Bitter Pine To Your Winter

Deschutes/Our Mutual Friend/Alpine/Rogue/istock/Uproxx
Deschutes/Our Mutual Friend/Alpine/Rogue/istock/Uproxx

When it comes to winter beers, some drinkers tend to lean toward stouts, porters, winter warmers, and other darker beers. And while we enjoy all of those beer styles — especially when the streets below our apartments seem like frozen tundras — we also enjoy a respite from time to time. And that respite often means making space for a piney, dank, perfectly bitter West Coast IPA.

West Coast IPAs are known for their floral, extremely dank, piney flavors, thanks to popular Pacific Northwest hop varietals like Centennial, Chinook, Cascade, Simcoe, and more. It’s a very divisive style — some drinkers find it overly bitter. But if you take the time to find all of the various flavors, working in perfect unison, the hoppy, bitter finish will seem like a chef’s kiss.

There are countless exceptional West Coast IPAs on the market, perfectly suited for winter drinking. But to help you out we picked eight of the best, dank, piney, resinous, kick-your-butt West Coast IPAs on the market and ranked them. Keep scrolling to see them all.

8.) Breakside Wanderlust

Breakside Wanderlust
Breakside

ABV: 6.4%%

Average Price: $7 for a 22-ounce bottle

The Beer:

First brewed in 2014, this award-winning, year-round West Coast IPA is known for its mix of citrus peels and dank, bitter hops thanks to the liberal use of Amarillo, Cascade, Mosaic, Simcoe, and Summit hops. It gets its sweet malt backbone from the use of two-row and Munich malts.

Tasting Notes:

A nose of grapefruit, tangerine, lemongrass, and dank, piney hops greets you before your first tip. Drinking it reveals a mix of sweet caramel malts as well as orchard fruits, grapefruit, orange zest, mango, guava, ripe peach, and pine needles. The finish is bitter and highly memorable.

Bottom Line:

This is a sublimely dank and bitter West Coast IPA, but it has a nice malt backbone that creates a great balance.

7.) Rogue Gumberoo

Rogue Gumberoo
Rogue

ABV: 6.8%

Average Price: $12 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Gumberoo is a mythical creature that some lumberjacks claim to have stumbled upon. It’s supposedly bigger than a bear, has a mouth of jagged teeth, and has a hide too strong for bullets to pierce. It’s a strange, scary creature and one the folks at Rogue named their West Coast IPA after. This balanced, year-round beer is brewed with 2-row and Munich malts as well as wheat, Pacman yeast, and Mosaic, Simcoe, Belma, and Idaho 7 hops.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is heavy on caramel malts, tangerine, orange peels, ripe grapefruit, and earthy, resinous pine. The palate is loaded with honeydew melon, sweet malts, mango, grapefruit, and dank, resinous pine needles. The ending is bitter pine needles and woodsy flavors.

Bottom Line:

This is an epic, dank, bitter West Coast IPA. It’s one that absolutely deserves to be named after a mythical creature.

6.) No Label Cali Boy

No Label Cali Boy
No Label

ABV: 7.1%

Average Price: $14 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Cali Boy is one of No Label’s flagship year-round beers for a reason. It’s an amplified, crisp, flavorful West Coast IPA loaded with tropical fruit flavors and dank pine. It’s dry, bitter, and highly memorable. It’s the kind of West Coast IPA that made San Diego famous even though it was brewed in Texas.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find scents of lemongrass, clementines, grapefruit, peach, and floral, earthy, sticky pine. On the palate, you’ll find notes of caramelized pineapple, guava, and a ton of pine needles. The finish is crisp, dry, and bitter in the best way possible.

Bottom Line:

This is one for the cannabis fans. It’s flavorful and has everything West Coast IPA drinkers enjoy but — warning — it’s daaaaaaaank.

5.) Deschutes Squeezy Rider

Deschutes Squeezy Rider
Deschutes

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $11 for a six-pack

The Beer:

Known for its mix of tropical fruit flavors, malt backbone, and heavy dank hop presence, this year-round beer was brewed with 2-row malts and Munich malts. It gets its classic West Coast IPA flavor and resinous, floral, bitter aroma and flavor from the use of Cascade, Strata, Mosaic, and Galaxy hops.

Tasting Notes:

There are a lot of aromas of guava, mango, pineapple, passionfruit, freshly baked bread, and resinous, earthy hops on the nose. The palate is heavy with tangerine, ripe grapefruit, grass, caramel malts, more tropical fruits, and a pine-forward, dank, pleasantly bitter finish.

Bottom Line:

This is a very tropical fruit-forward West Coast IPA. But it still has the dank bitterness fans of the style crave.

4.) Casa Agria Full Blaze

Casa Agria Full Blaze
Casa Agria

ABV: 6.5%

Average Price: $16 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

Full Blaze is an extremely aptly named beer. It was brewed with a handful of Northwest hops to be a classic, sublimely dank, hoppy West Coast IPA. Tropical fruits, citrus peels, and pleasant bitterness. This skeleton-adorned beer has everything hop heads desire.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is classic West Coast IPA. There’s a mix of tangerine, grapefruit, and assorted citrus peel flavors as well as light tropical fruits, and the expected resinous, cannabis-like hops. There’s more of the same on the palate as grapefruit, orange peel, and lemongrass move into mango, peach, and eventually herbal, earthy, dank pine. The finish is pleasantly bitter and leaves you wanting more.

Bottom Line:

While it has a nice fruity backbone, this one is for the West Coast drinkers who want their beer to taste and smell as dank as possible.

3.) Societe The Pupil

Societe The Pupil
Societe

ABV: 7.5%

Average Price: $13 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This well-balanced, award-winning, highly-rated West Coast IPA is known for its mix of tropical flavors, medium body, and dry, bitter finish. It’s brewed with a 2-row pale male base and malted wheat. It gets its hop presence from the use of Nelson Sauvin, Citra, and Centennial hops.

Tasting Notes:

Mango, tangerine, lemon, caramelized pineapple, and just a hint of floral, herbal pine needles make for a great start to this beer. Sipping it brings forth notes of lemongrass, lime zest, passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew mellows, ripe grapes, and a nice kick of dank pine at the end. It’s well-balanced and has a pleasing bitter finish.

Bottom Line:

The mix of Northwest hops and Nelson Sauvin from New Zealand gives this beer the classic citrus and pine flavors of the West Coast IPA with more tropical, grape-like flavors from the Nelson Sauvin.

2) Our Mutual Friend Time’s Arrow

Our Mutual Friend Time’s Arrow
Our Mutual Friend

ABV: 7.7%

Average Price: $15 for a four-pack of 16-ounce cans

The Beer:

Everyone has a mutual friend, but does that friend brew an outstanding West Coast IPA? Probably not. Our Mutual Friend Time’s Arrow is a classic, pine, dank West Coast banger brewed with a mix of Citra and Idaho 7 hops.

Tasting Notes:

The nose begins with yeasty fresh baked bread and moves into pineapple, grapefruit, orange peel, and resinous, cannabis-like pine aromas. On the palate, you’ll be treated to biscuit-like malts, caramelized pineapple, tangerine, lemon, mango, peach, and more dank pine. The finish is dry and has just the right amount of bitterness to remind you that you’re drinking a West Coast IPA.

Bottom Line:

This is a great take on the West Coast IPA. While bitter and loaded with hop aroma and flavor, it’s well-balanced with bready, biscuity malts as well.

1.) Alpine Duet

Alpine Duet
Alpine

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $15 for a six-pack

The Beer:

This year-round offering from Alpine is classic West Coast through and through. While not containing any of the “C” hops (Chinook, Citra, and Centennial), it’s loaded with Simcoe and Amarillo hops, giving it a balanced flavor profile featuring tons of dank pine and bright citrus.

Tasting Notes:

A complex nose of cedar wood, candied orange peels, lime, tangerine, and resinous, earthy floral pine starts everything off on the right foot. Drinking it reveals notes of sweet, biscuit-like malts, wet grass, grapefruit zest, orange peel, juicy peach, passionfruit, ripe pineapple, and a nice kick of resinous, dank pine needles. The finish is aggressively bitter and dry in the best way possible.

Bottom Line:

This is a true West Coast IPA for fans who love everything about the style. It’s potently bitter and loaded with hop flavor and aroma. What’s not to love?

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Walton Goggins Has Joined ‘The White Lotus’ Because Dreams Can Come True

walton-goggins-top.jpg
HBO

The White Lotus was just supposed to be a one-off, with a premise that even if it got a second season couldn’t ever reunite the same cast. The upside to that, though, is that each season always has an amazing new ensemble. Round two had such luminaries as Aubrey Plaza, Michael Imperioli, and F. Murray Abraham, to say nothing of the returning Jennifer Coolidge. Round three already has Parker Posey, Carrie Coon, Michelle Monaghan, and Jason Isaacs. (Still no sign of Coolidge, whose Tanya could always be exhumed somehow.) But now it’s gotten even better.

Per The Hollywood Reporter, the vacation show’s third season has just added no less than Walton Goggins. Walton Goggins: the human steroid injection for any show or movie. Walton Goggins: the guy whose range includes bone-chilling Boyd Crowder on Justified, trans prostitute Venus on Sons of Anarchy, and pickle-loving Baby Billy on The Righteous Gemstones. Walton Goggins: an actor who should be in everything anyway.

Where will Goggins and company be vacationing in the next batch of White Lotus episodes? In Thailand, in and around Koh Samui, Phuket, and Bangkok. He’ll be joined by four other new additions: Sarah Catherine Hook (The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It), Sam Nivola (Maestro), Aimee Lou Wood (BAFTA winner for Sex Education), and Patrick Schwarzenegger, of The Staircase and the Boys spinoff Gen V and who has two pretty famous parents.

(Via THR)

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Did YG & Saweetie Break Up?

saweetie
Getty Image

2024 is shaping up to be a devastating year for hip-hop power couples. Cardi B and Offset, who had been staples of red-carpet events and the picture of a wholesome rap family, called it quits ahead of the new year (although that didn’t stop them from backsliding on New Year’s Eve). Now, a lower-profile but still popular couple, YG and Saweetie, has also apparently broken up, according to a report from The Shade Room.

According to the Instagram gossip account, a source close to the couple confirmed they made a mutual decision to split up, as both are busy with their careers and focused on making the most of them.

The two California rappers were rumored to be dating after Coachella last year, seemingly confirming the speculation during a cozy getaway in Cabo, Mexico a month later. In July, they announced a joint tour along with Tyga, which concluded in November with a hometown show at the Forum in Inglewood. The three rappers also collaborated on Saweetie’s July single “Birthday.”

Since then, YG and Tyga collaborated on their joint project, Hit Me When U Leave The Klub, while Saweetie most recently popped up on fellow Cali native Anderson .Paak’s Apple Music radio show .Paak House Radio to play a game of “Name That Tune.”

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Brad Pitt Used To Be The King Of A Very Gross Competition While Living With Jason Priestley

Brad Pitt
Getty Image

Before they made it big as Hollywood heartthrobs, Brad Pitt and Jason Priestley were roommates living in a “really crappy part of L.A.” And like all young men, their living conditions were gross as hell thanks in no small part to a gross competition they apparently couldn’t stop playing.

“Brad wasn’t as bad as my other roommate, who was an absolute disaster,” Priestley recently told Live with Kelly and Mark via PEOPLE. “But Brad was okay. We used to play this game, all of us, to see who could go the longest without showering. I think about it now and I’m like, ‘Dude, how disgusting. What were you thinking?’”

According to Priestley, there was a routine winner of the no-shower contest: “Always Brad,” he told hosts Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. “I don’t think he does that anymore, but back then he could go a long time without showering.”

While this is definitely the grossest tale about living with Pitt, it’s not the first time that Priestly has opened up about their shared living situation. Back in 2014, he wrote a memoir where he talked about their dirt poor lifestyle before Priestley found teen fame on 90210 and Pitt became a sex symbol for the ages with Thelma & Louise.

“We lived on ramen noodles and generic beer — the kind that came in white cans labeled BEER — and Marlboro Light cigarettes. We were all broke,” Priestley wrote before revealing that he and Pitt lost touch after striking it big in Hollywood.

(Via PEOPLE)

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We Could Have Had A Sharon Stone ‘Barbie’ Movie In The ’90s, But Studio Heads ‘Laughed’ It Off

Sharon Stone Barbie
Getty Images / Warner Bros. Discovery

The biggest money-gobbling motion picture last year was, of course, Barbie, Hollywood’s first big film about the decades-old doll line. What took the studio honchos so long? Did they not know moviegoers where hungry to watch a sentient toy take on the patriarchy while her sorta-boyfriend does a song-and-dance? Apparently they weren’t, as Sharon Stone recently recalled getting a hard no when she pitched her own Barbie movie some three decades ago.

Per People, the actress posted a comment on an Instagram post by Barbie actress America Ferrera, which included video of her accepting the SeeHer Award at Sunday’s Critics’ Choice Awards.

“I was laughed out if the studio when i came w the Barbie idea in the 90s w the support of the head of Barbie,” Stone wrote. “How far we’ve come thank you ladies for your courage and endurance.”

Stone didn’t go into detail, but given her bit about “how far we’ve come,” it sounds like execs weren’t so into the idea of a female-driven blockbuster. The ‘90s weren’t a great time for that type of movie, as witness the hostility that greeted Geena Davis when she starred in the female-driven pirate movie Cutthroat Island. After that film became one of the biggest bombs in movie history, the studios were especially wary of expensive movies about women.

In her Critics’ Choice Awards speech, Ferrera thanked Barbie director/cowriter Greta Gerwig for “proving through your incredible mastery as a filmmaker that women’s stories have no difficulty achieving cinematic greatness and box-office history at the same time.” Ferrera said she also showed that “unabashedly telling female stories does not diminish your powers, it expands them.”

(Via People)

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‘John Wick’ Spin-Off ‘Ballerina’: Everything We Know So Far Including The Release Date, Trailer & More

john wick
lionsgate

Even though we said goodbye (maybe?) to John Wick last year, there is always some room for more assassin tales, and The Continental doesn’t count. Thankfully, there is more Wick-verse coming in 2024, and this time, Keanu Reeves will be there in all his greasy-haired, gun-slinging glory.

Ballerina is the upcoming thriller based in the John Wick universe, starring Ana de Armas as Rooney, a ballerina who seeks revenge on those who murdered her family. The story is penned by Shay Hatten, who wrote Chapter 3, and Saltburn‘s Emerald Fennell also contributed to the story, so take the information however you see fit.

The character of Rooney/The Ballerina previously appeared in John Wick: Chapter 3- Parabellum, and her story will pick up after Chapter 3 but before Chapter 4. So, yes, it’s a little bit like a prequel, but it’s mostly just a fun little look into the Wick World. Here is everything you need to know about the upcoming film.

Plot

In classic Wick fashion, many of the plot points have yet to be revealed, but Reeves gave some insight into the film while promoting John Wick: Chapter 4. He said: “[she is a] woman who has some very difficult circumstances and who’s looking for revenge… someone killed her father. Who could that be? And so it’s her journey for actually understanding her past. She lost her father at a young age, and she doesn’t really know what happened. Only that someone came into the house and killed her father, who had a tattoo. And as we know in John Wick, if you have a tattoo, something’s going on.” What’s going on? A lot of violence and maybe a few ballet performances to cap it off.

We also know that the movie takes place between Chapter 3 and Chapter 4, which is why John Wick will make a cameo appearance since, you know, he was still alive back then.

Last year, Hatten said that the film will help contextualize John Wick’s story through new eyes. “I think in Ballerina you’ll get to see some of the hints of what John experienced during his origins in that place, but through the eyes of a different character,” he told Screenrant. “It still solves some of the answers of Wick, just through the eyes of a new character,” he added.

Cast

In addition to de Armas and Reeves, a whole crew of familiar faces will show up, including Ian McShane as Winston Scott. Norman Reedus was also added to the cast in an undisclosed role, while Anjelica Huston portrays the ballet director. Lance Reddick will also appear onscreen for one last time as Charon, the loving concierge at The Continental. Reddick passed away just days before John Wick Chapter 4 was released in 2023.

Release Date

Ballerina is set to be released on June 7, 2024.

Trailer

Ballerina does not have a trailer yet, but we can expect a teaser sometime in the coming months.

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Andie MacDowell shows what we can all learn about beauty and age from the gray hair movement

For many, even those that proudly wave the flag of self-love, the sight of that first gray hair is anxiety inducing. That single strand is a harbinger of the doom of our youth. More than one, and you might as well weave them together to create yourself a noose. It’s time to kiss your beauty—and therefore, your value—goodbye.

But what if, instead of marking the end of our glory days, we could see this change as a new chapter with equally glorious reveals? Something worth presenting, rather than hiding?

Back in July 2021, actress Andie MacDowell made headlines for rocking the silver vixen look at the Cannes Film Festival. MacDowell’s hair has always been a defining feature, but previously she had been coloring her raven locks to maintain her signature look. This was at the behest of her managers, according to an interview with Vogue.

But after her kids officially declared the salt-and-pepper look was “badass,” MacDowell started to see going natural as a “power move.” So she followed the impulse, and you don’t need me to tell you it was a bit of a social media sensation.

MacDowell reflected on how freeing the experience was in a conversation with Interview Magazine. “I feel better like this. Honestly, it’s exhausting to have to be something that you no longer are…I was finally like, ‘You know what? I’m not young. And I’m OK with that..I feel so much more comfortable. It’s like I’ve taken a mask off or something.”’


Isn’t this a battle so many of us fight? Instead of basking in how far we’ve come, we spend so much effort trying to wind back the clock. And in all the rigamarole of trying to delay the inevitable, we forget that aging is a glorious gift. One that’s not guaranteed.

Even when we use terms like “embrace the gray,” there’s this connotation that aging is this frightening tidal wave that we simply need to bolster ourselves for. Where’s the grace in that? I mean, yes, as the end of life approaches, it is scary to think about the impending unknown. But the process of getting there? Perhaps not so much.

In the same article, MacDowell reflected that she, too, “hates the word ’embrace,’ because it always sounds like you’re having to accept something, and I don’t feel like that.” I love this viewpoint. Accept it? Why not value it? Let’s come back to the original meaning of the word … and welcome it warmly.

MacDowell continued “We do have something unique to offer. You can’t be young forever, but you can always be considered beautiful, fashionable, and glamorous.”

The cynical voice in your head might say, “sure easy for someone who’s already glamorous to say that.” But MacDowell isn’t the only one who made this discovery. Tons of “real” women have had the same revelation.

Once the pandemic caused salons across the country to close down (coupled with major pay cuts and job losses), a surge of women chose to stop coloring their hair. But—as with many life aspects affected by COVID-19—what started as a forced restriction became an opportunity for reinvention. In ditching the hair dye, many women found that their silver strands were not only tolerable, they were empowering.

Now you could even say gray hair is “in” and making a comeback tour. And trust, these dames are definitely glamorous. This is not just an experience for A-listers.

Of course, this movement is not just about aesthetics. There is a bigger idea here. It’s no secret that our society has some deep-seated stigmas when it comes to aging, for women in particular. We place a high value on those “30 Under 30” lists, seek out the strongest retinol to erase all signs of life and stand mouth agape in horror at the first mention of the word “ma’am.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. All chapters of life are precious, and worth celebrating.

I’m a firm believer that glamor is only a result of confidence. And as we grow older, we only become more dynamic, more nuanced, more interesting. If that’s not a confidence booster, I don’t know what is.

Going gray won’t be the answer for everyone. I certainly don’t plan on trading in my signature red anytime soon. But the real call to adventure is: How can you feel good about yourself at every stage of life? How can you throw away the (false) notion that you somehow lose your shine with every passing year?

As the saying goes, “beauty is truth, truth beauty.” I think we can really see that in stories like these. To age gracefully is to age fearlessly. Radical self-acceptance is gorgeous.

This article originally appeared on 02.25.22

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Fans are applauding Niecy Nash for thanking herself during viral Emmy win speech

We all have come to expect awards show acceptance speeches to be filled with heartfelt thanks to others—industry peers, family, spouses, a higher power…and in Jennifer Coolidge’s case, “all the evil gays,” (but that’s another story).

But as Neicy Nash took to the stage to accept her award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie at the Emmys last night, she did something a little different.

She thanked herself.


She thanked herself.

Granted, Nash, who won the award for her performance as Glenda Cleveland in Netflix’s “Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story,” did thank a higher power, along with showrunner Ryan Murphy, her Dahmer co-star Evan Peters, Netflix, those who voted for her and “her better half,” Jessica Betts.

But what people are really remembering is what she said next:

“And you know who I wanna thank?” Nash asked. “I wanna thank me. For believing in me, and doing what they said I could not do. And I wanna say to myself in front of all you beautiful people: go on, girl, with your bad self. You did that.”

As the audience erupted in applause, Nash took a moment to honor victims of police violence, saying, “I accept this award on behalf of every Black and brown woman who has gone unheard yet over-policed,” she said. “Like Glenda Cleveland. Like Sandra Bland. Like Breonna Taylor,” adding that her it’s her job as an artist “to speak truth to power.”

“And, baby, I’m going to do it ’til the day I die,” Nash concluded, before exclaiming, “Momma, I won!” to her mother in the audience.

It wasn’t long before thousands on social media began hailing the viral moment as an “instant classic,” and praising Nash for, as one person on X put it, “giving a masterclass on how to make the most out of an #Emmys acceptance speech.”

What’s more, the viral moment grew to be a masterclass in healthy self esteem.

Talking to reporters in a follow-up interview, Nash explained why she felt the need to credit herself, saying “Sometimes you have to encourage what? Yourself.”

“And that’s why it’s not called mama-esteem, them-esteem, us-esteem, it’s called self esteem because don’t nobody got to believe it, but you,” she continued.

Ultimately, Nash hopes her iconic speech becomes a “delicious invitation” for people to believe in themselves.

And that right there is a beautiful takeaway for everyone. We might not all be striving for the life of an award-winning actor, but nearly all of us could be a bit better about hyping ourselves up. May we all have the audacity today to tell ourselves, “you did that.” Whatever it is.

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Mom’s viral clip argues parents are spending too much time on kids’ activities

Are we placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves as parents to entertain our children every second of every day? This is what a mom on Instagram purports in a clip that’s resonated deeply with fellow parents who feel stretched to the breaking point.

“I just spent a weekend with my kids who are 6, 4 and 2-years-old,” begins working mom Jen B who goes by the 8thdayformomonly. “And the amount of time I spent setting up activities, cleaning up activities, participating in activities is so much.”

In a video viewed over 35 thousand times, she says she doesn’t recall her parents ever putting in this much time. “I feel like the standard that we are holding ourselves to as parents to entertain our children is so much higher than it was when we were kids.


“It’s just a really, really high bar when you have two working parents and you’re also maintaining a house,” she continued.

The content creator says the expectation has shifted over the years.

“We’ve changed the expectation of parenting to think we’re always supposed to be involved and we’re supposed to enjoy every minute and get on the ground and play with them… and so I don’t know if you needed to hear this today,” Jen B said. “I needed to hear this today. We can lower the bar, we don’t have to be constantly entertaining our kids, we can give them space to entertain themselves.”

The comments on the video contain astute commentary.

One commenter wonders if part of the reason we’re running ourselves ragged is to make up for what we felt was missing from our own childhoods.

“Part of me wonders if the reason we do this to ourselves is because we don’t have any memory of our parents playing with us like this,” writes Littleseel.

Another says she once heard that the amount of time put in by working parents today is more than stay-at-home-parents of the ’50s.

“I heard somewhere that working parents today spend 50% more time entertaining kids than SAHMs did in the ’50s,” writes laura.b823.

“I believe that stat,” 8thdayformomonly responded.

While we didn’t find a study citing working parents today versus stay-at-home moms in the 50s, this study from 2016 shows the amount of time parents spend with their children doubled for moms and quadrupled for dads between 1965 and 2012.

And then, of course, there’s the question of whether this level of attention is in the children’s best interests. After all, they need to learn to keep themselves occupied and to work through boredom. Commenter little_beast_miguel writes, “It’s also important to let them entertain themselves to learn not to rely on their parents for literally everything.”

There is a school of thought that a more laissez-faire, hands-off approach dubbed “benign neglect” helps foster a greater sense of independence and self-reliance.

“The benign neglect movement seems to be a backswing from helicopter parenting, which encouraged coddling millennials and Gen Zs throughout childhood,” NYU Langone Health child psychologist Yamalis Diaz told The New York Post.

Actress Jennifer Garner is a big proponent of this style of parenting.

jennifer garner, ben affleck, parenting

In a Today Show appearance, the actress, who raises three children with her ex, Ben Affleck, said, “I want to be around. But I also think it’s OK if they suffer from a little bit of benign neglect. Their lives are their own. I’m not trying to live their life, and I don’t mind that they see that I love mine.”

As with anything, though, balance is key.

Benign neglect is not the same as actual neglect.

Says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a neuropsychologist in New York and the Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services to Parents. “It’s a balance between freedom and safety, ensuring that children have the space to grow while maintaining a secure environment.”

Jennifer Garner believes in “benign neglect”

Karon Liu/Wikimeda Commons

In a Today Show appearance, the actress, who raises three children with her ex, Ben Affleck, said, “I want to be around. But I also think it’s OK if they suffer from a little bit of benign neglect. Their lives are their own. I’m not trying to live their life, and I don’t mind that they see that I love mine.”

As with anything, though, balance is key.

Benign neglect is not the same as actual neglect.

Says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a neuropsychologist in New York and the Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services to Parents. “It’s a balance between freedom and safety, ensuring that children have the space to grow while maintaining a secure environment.”