A few weeks ago, Lil Uzi Vert told fans that the third installment of their Luv Is Rage mixtape series is on the way, noting that “I only drop Luv Is Rage when my heart is hurting. It’s about that time.” Although the Philly rapper declined to elaborate, it looks like the reason for the aforementioned pain might be a breakup with their longtime girlfriend JT of City Girls. According to Hot97, the two rappers had unfollowed each other on Instagram, citing a gossip account with screenshots of Uzi venting on their Story.
In the posts, Uzi wrote, “Im not as close to my family as I should be. My relationship isn’t in the best shape. I JUST WANNA BREATHE… I’ve been distant from everyone lately, even if they are standing right next to me.” While neither has confirmed a breakup — and this isn’t the first time such a rumor has surfaced — the evidence for such a conclusion is certainly mounting.
The two rappers had been dating ever since 2021 when JT said Uzi gave her $30,000 on their first date. Later that year, Uzi reportedly rented out an amusement park for JT’s 29th birthday.
However, things seemed rocky earlier this year, when JT threw her phone at Uzi during the BET Awards. While some fans and gossip outlets speculated that she was angry at him for allegedly flirting with Ice Spice, who was seated near them. Meanwhile, JT herself told The Breakfast Club she was actually irritated because Uzi gave her seat to ASAP Bari, who refused to get up.
Lil Uzi Vert is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Fall is a really great time to sip some tequila and indulge in expert recommendations from bartenders, but one man decided that he wanted to try out some not-so-fancy tequila over the weekend. So, he headed to an Applebee’s in San Francisco, where a slight earthquake struck (3.7 magnitude), and the local news hit him up for an interview.
Steve Mazzari will henceforth be known to the world as “Dollarita Steve” or even “Slammin’ Dollaritas Steve.” This newfound reputation is the result of a highly entertaining interview with local Fox affiliate KTVU, which you can watch above. He’s heard discussing how he was “slammin’ Dollaritas,” which must barely contain any alcohol, so that’s quite a visual that he’s presenting. Mazzari signed off with a peace sign while declaring, “The Dollarita is back!” And then he went home, fell asleep, and his phone blew up, presumably after people fell in love with his mustache. It happens!
Mazzari, who is a 28-year-old software engineer by day, is enjoying overnight viral fame. He told SFGate that he was jazzed to be singled out for an interview by KTVU. “My brain just lit up like a Christmas tree,” Mazzari admitted. “I was like, ‘Hell yeah, let’s do an interview.’” The most amusing thing, perhaps, is that Mazzari doesn’t usually frequent Applebee’s, but he and his friends had seen the Dollarita commercials during sports binges, and they decided to be “entirely ironic.” So, RIP his Twitter mentions, but his social life is going great:
The attention has affected Mazzari’s dating life in a “very positive” way, he said, adding, “Let’s just say, this week I’m a very busy man.”
He’s received countless DMs, although he admits that some were too lewd for his liking. “This girl I went on a date with like two and a half years ago messaged me and said, ‘My friend wants to go on a date with you. She thinks you’re her soulmate,’” he said.
Good for Dollarita Steve? And hey, he’s got a built-in first-date idea at the ready. Steve also told SFGate that he’s dressing up as Dollarita Steve for Halloween. Excellent timing all around.
Wild Turkey is one of the most iconic American whiskey brands on the planet. The Lawrenceburg, Kentucky distillery is responsible for one of the most well-known bourbons in all of whiskey — Wild Turkey 101. But Wild Turkey isn’t just 101. They’re also responsible for a fantastic lineup of bourbon and rye whiskey brands, and that’s what we’re here to talk about today.
Wild Turkey is broken into three main brands: Wild Turkey (of course), Russell’s Reserve, and Longbranch. Adding to that, the Wild Turkey brand also has bourbons and rye whiskeys under more distinct specialty labels. Those are Master’s Keep, Kentucky Spirit, Rare Breed, and American Honey. I’m going to rank every single one of these brands and expressions below. That’s 24 bottles of Russell’s, Turkey, and Longbranch plus their two flavored whiskeys.
As with all good whiskey, the Wild Turkey story starts with the people. The Russells — Jimmy Russell (Master Distiller for 69 years), his son Eddie Russell (also the Master Distiller), and Eddie’s son and Jimmy’s grandson Bruce Russell (assistant distiller) — have shepherded the Wild Turkey brands through thick and thin over the decades. Moreover, they’ve been able to keep the brand true to its roots via heritage labels like Turkey 101 while still advancing the brand via Russell’s Reserve, Rare Breed, and now Wild Turkey Generations.
That multi-generational history is revealed through the whiskeys themselves. Wild Turkey 101 and Rare Breed whiskeys are bold and spicy while adhering to a classic Kentucky vibe that’s very much a Jimmy Russell take on bourbon. Russell’s Reserve and Master’s Keep whiskeys tend to lean more toward subtle fruits and woods, thanks to Eddie Russell’s unique POV. The sweet Kentucky vibe to the rye whiskeys is derived from the younger Bruce Russell, steering the ship towards a modern take on a classic style that mashes up both Jimmy’s classics with Eddie’s modernity.
All of this is to say that it’s a great time to be drinking a Wild Turkey whiskey. So to that end, I’m going to rank every bottle that you can get right now, including the brand-new Wild Turkey Generations that was made by all three Russells to celebrate over a century of collective whiskey-making between the three Kentuckians. Let’s dive in!
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months
Jimmy Russell, Wild Turkey’s legendary Master Distiller, came up with this bottle back in 1976. The whiskey is a blend of classic Wild Turkey Bourbon and pure honey liqueur.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a clear sense of fresh honey on the nose with a dash of that iconic Wild Turkey spiciness, kind of like a very mild cinnamon-laced cherry lozenge.
Palate: The palate is soft and sweet with deep honey vibes next to light lemon oils and a touch of orange zest next to more of that cherry/cinnamon with a sweet rock candy aura.
Finish: The finish has a nice sense of honey candy with a hint of Kentucky bourbon layered in but is ultimately short and sweet.
Bottom Line:
This isn’t bad. In fact, it’s one of the better honey bourbons out there. I’d say focus on using it for baking and cocktails (and maybe ice-cold shots) more than anything else.
This expression is Master Distiller Eddie Russell’s stamp on his dad’s, Jimmy’s, legacy. The younger Russell devised this lower-proof bourbon to be another workhorse whiskey for the mixing crowd. This is achieved by letting the 75/13/12 (corn/rye/malted barley) bourbon mash rest in deeply charred oak for six to seven years before cutting it down to 81 proof for bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a mix of mild winter spice, tannic oak, ripe apricot, creamy vanilla, and a thin line of salted caramel on the nose.
Palate: The taste delivers and expands into peach cobbler territory with plenty of vanilla, brown sugar syrup with baking spices, and an almost smoky singed cedar edge.
Finish: The end is another left turn, with a dusting of dark chocolate over the top of a honeyed underbelly as the oak, spice, and stonefruit fade away.
Bottom Line:
This is specifically made for simple cocktails and highballs. Use it accordingly.
(Note: I also use this for baking. It’s a great substitute for vanilla extract that adds a layer of woody spice.)
Wild Turkey’s American Honey is often lauded as the best-flavored whiskey on the market. This expression takes that well-crafted blend of Wild Turkey bourbon and honey liqueur and ups the ante by adding a dash of ghost pepper.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a sense of honey that’s bolstered by sprigs of fresh mint, fields of wildflowers, and a whisper of fresh red chili pepper on the nose.
Palate: The ghost pepper lurks in the background until you take a sip and it bites at your tongue.
Finish: It’s never over-powering whatsoever and the combination of bourbon vanilla, caramel, and oak with that fresh mint and honey makes for a great combination of flavors that linger on your senses.
Bottom Line:
This is subtle and spicy in all the right ways. It’s a great ice-cold shot or base for a simple cocktail that needs a spicy kick.
This is the only other mash bill cooked at Wild Turkey’s distillery. The mash is a 52/36/12 (rye/corn/malted barley) bill that’s twice distilled. The hot juice then rests in the same deeply charred oak — but only for four to five years. The whiskey is then cut with soft Kentucky limestone water to bring it down to an accessible 81-proof.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Vanilla and mint apple pie come through on the nose with a dash of woody winter spices, light toffee candy, and a hint of herbal funk (think wet grass or sage).
Palate: The palate opens with tart apple skins and caramel sauce with a moment of raw sourdough rye bread next to wet tobacco leaves and apple cider spiked with woody cinnamon sticks.
Finish: The end has a mild warmth with a touch of sharp spearmint and green grass next to freshly cracked red pepper.
Bottom Line:
This is a fruity sweet and creamy rye whiskey that speaks to the “Kentucky” rye style. It’s woodier and grassier with a layer of baking spice instead of classic “pepperiness.”
In the end, this is also made for mixing so use it in cocktails and highballs.
The product launched back in 2018 via a partnership with actor Matthew McConaughey. Even though McConaughey has gone his own way, Longbranch has carried on. The whiskey is a wholly unique one for Wild Turkey, thanks to the Texas Mesquite charcoal filtration the hot distillate goes through. The bourbon then goes into oak for eight long years before it’s proofed and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Christmas spices meet oily vanilla and subtle caramel on the nose next to a hint of charred marshmallow over subtle notes of woody spice barks and very dark cherry cola.
Palate: The palate adds orange oils and buttery toffee to the mix as the spices edge upwards on the taste next to a creamy vanilla pudding, old firewood, and a whisper of cherry-kissed tobacco.
Finish: That velvet texture builds throughout with toasted oak and cedar notes as a hint of sweet firepit smoke arrives on the long and satisfying finish.
Bottom Line:
This is a bit of an outlier but still works as a sipper over some rocks or the base of any whiskey-forward cocktail. If you’re looking for a classic bourbon, this isn’t it though.
Wild Turkey 101 starts with Turkey’s classic 75/13/12 mash bill. The hot juice then spends at least six years in the cask before it’s batched and just kissed with Kentucky limestone water before bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This is a cherry bomb on the nose with deep notes of burnt orange, buttery toffee, old oak staves, and cumin-heavy taco seasoning with a hint of old leather gloves and clove buds.
Palate: The palate has a vanilla pudding cup vibe next to butterscotch candies, nougat, and a twinge of menthol tobacco next to clove-studded oranges on the mid-palate.
Finish: The end of this is a classic cascade of bourbon notes: caramel, vanilla, cherry, winter spices, and light woodiness.
Bottom Line:
The end is pretty short, but it doesn’t take away from this one. It’s just classic bold bourbon whiskey. You can sip this over a lot of rocks or make any whiskey-forward cocktail with it.
This is the sibling bottle to the classic Wild Turkey 101 Bourbon. Same standard rye mash bill. Same heavily charred barrels. Same six-odd years mellowing in those barrels. Same proofing down to the iconic 101 proof for bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The warming rye spice is cut with rummy Christmas cake topped with rich vanilla ice cream next to a clear note of toasted oak on the nose.
Palate: The taste leans into the spice with a rye version of the Kentucky hug as hints of cedar, white sugar, caramel nuts, and old oak lurk in the background.
Finish: Like the bourbon, the end is warming with pops of sweetgrass braided with smudging sage, creamy vanilla, and old spice barks with a very distant wisp of smoldering cedar bark and tobacco leaf.
Bottom Line:
This is a pretty great affordable (and easy to find) rye whiskey. It’s good over some rocks as an everyday sipper or mixed into your favorite whiskey cocktail. Seriously, try it in a Manhattan.
Russell’s Reserve is where we really dive into the “good stuff” with Wild Turkey. This expression is a collaboration between Jimmy and Eddie Russell, who searched through the center cut of barrels of their rickhouses for the exact right minimum-six-year-old rye barrels. The results are a window into the Russells’ shared palate for the whiskey.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This a subtle rye with hints of crusty rye bread soaked in apple honey paired with a hint of vanilla, a touch of caramel, and mild orchard fruit.
Palate: The palate is all about spicy and sweet Christmas cake full of dried fruit, nuts, and spicy minced meat pie with a flutter of black pepper.
Finish: The oakiness shines late as the winter spice, vanilla/caramel sweetness, and singed cedar fade away toward a touch of apple cider tobacco.
Bottom Line:
This is fruity and spice-forward whiskey that works wonders in any whiskey cocktail. I also like this over a big rock as a no-think sipper on a lazy afternoon.
16. Russell’s Reserve Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
This is a high water mark of what standard Wild Turkey can achieve. The Russells select the “honey barrels” (those special barrels that are as much magic as craft) from their rickhouses for single barrel bottling. The resulting whiskey is non-chill filtered but is cut down slightly to proof with that soft Kentucky water.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Vanilla cream spiked with orange oils and sprinkled with toasted coconut mingle with spicy oak and buttery cake on the nose with an underpinning of winter spices by way of a sour mulled wine.
Palate: The palate opens with easy notes of marzipan, subtle dried roses, vanilla pods, more winter spices, and singed cherry bark.
Finish: The end arrives with a sense of Almond Joy next to cherry tobacco dipped in chili-infused dark chocolate with a flake of salt and a pinch of cedar dust and old leather saddles.
Bottom Line:
This is just an excellent bourbon whiskey. As much as I love the rye right above this one, the is just that bit more complex and rewarding, especially as a sipper. That said, don’t hesitate to make a killer cocktail with this one too.
15. Russell’s Reserve Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Rye Whiskey
This hand-selected single-barrel expression hits on some pretty big classic Kentucky rye notes. The whiskey for the blend is selected from the center cuts of the third through fifth floors of the Wild Turkey rickhouses. There’s no chill filtering and the expression is only slightly touched by water before bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This has a lighter nose but it’s still full of dark orchard fruits, soft vanilla pods, old oak staves with a hint of old barrel house funk, and a mix of spicy orange rind next to freshly cracked black pepper and sharp cinnamon powder.
Palate: The palate leans into the cinnamon and layers it into chewy and buzzy tobacco with hints of vanilla sweetness, cherry bark woodiness, and sharp fancy root beer vibes.
Finish: The end pings on that old musty rickhouse one more time as a humidor full of vanilla, cherry, and cinnamon-spiced tobacco fades towards a rich and buttery toffee with a hint of rye fennel on the very backend.
Bottom Line:
This is an excellent rye whiskey. It’s wonderfully fruity, spicy, and creamy on a single big rock. It also makes a fantastic cocktail.
It’s wild that we have 14 more whiskeys to go and we’re already into the greats.
This is the mountaintop of what the main line of Wild Turkey can achieve (this is easily found on liquor store shelves for the most part). This is a blend of the prime barrels that are married and bottled untouched. That means no filtering and no cutting with water. This is a classic Turkey bourbon with nowhere to hide.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This opens like a dessert table during the holidays with crème brûlée next to a big sticky toffee pudding with orange zest sprinkled over the top next to a bushel of fresh mint.
Palate: The palate hits an early note of pine resin as the orange kicks up towards a bold wintry spice, soft vanilla cream, and a hint of honeyed cherry tobacco.
Finish: The end keeps the winter spices front and center as a lush pound cake feeling leads to soft notes of cherry-spiced tobacco leaves folded into an old cedar box with a whisper of old vanilla pods lurking in the background.
Bottom Line:
This is one of the best bourbons that you can get without much trouble. It’s delicious, classic, and deep. Plus, it’s still affordable by all standards for the quality of the juice in the bottle.
Make your favorite whiskey cocktail with this one, drink it over a big rock, or sip it neat — no matter which path you choose, you’ll be delighted.
This rye is a blend of the great rye barrels in the Wild Turkey rickhouses. The whiskey is chosen from four-, six-, and eight-year-old barrels blended and then bottled without chill filtration or any proofing water.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This is a masterclass in what rye “spice” can be with subtle notes of black pepper next to Christmas spices counterpointed by pine resin dank and sweet cherry root beer.
Palate: The palate brings about a velvet texture with notes of vanilla and dark chocolate cake next to stewed cherries — a very Black Forest cake vibe — before the rye sourdough bread funk and herbal essence kick in with a light firewood pitchiness.
Finish: By the end, there’s a balance of all that spice, wood, resin, and subtle fruitiness that lasts on the long and sharp finish.
Bottom Line:
This is another one of my favorite whiskeys that you can easily get. It’s a delectable Kentucky rye that leans toward complexity over just being a spicy pepper bomb. I’d buy this stuff by the case if I needed to.
This release from 2017 commemorates the 35th anniversary of Master Distiller Eddie Russell making whiskey at Wild Turkey. The blend is made by Russell from the rarest barrels — from 10 to 20 years old — from the famed McBrayer rickhouse. That’s a very old barrel warehouse that used to belong to the Old Joe Distillery across the tracks from the main Turkey campus today.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a clear sense of classic Turkey on the nose with singed orchard woods next to subtle salted caramel, stewed cherry, tart apple fritters covered in cinnamon sugar, and mellow winter spices — Saigon cinnamon, freshly grated nutmeg, allspice berries.
Palate: The palate has a sweet opening with buttery and rich toffee next to minced meat pies, dark chocolate cut with dried chili (and maybe some garam masala), and campfire-burnt marshmallows.
Finish: The end has a vanilla white cake vibe sprinkled with orange zest and dark chocolate shavings with a hint of cherry jam underneath that leads to orange-chocolate tobacco stuffed into an old cedar box and wrapped up with ragged twine.
Bottom Line:
This is where we get into the unassailably great whiskeys. Of the Master’s Keeps, this is probably the one I’d reach for the least, which means very little as this is a killer pour of bourbon. This is just a stone-cold classic bourbon, and whiskeys are coming on this list that go beyond classic into transcendence.
That all said, I’d never turn down a pour of this.
This whiskey was made by Eddie Russell after he found a few prime sherry casks in Jerez, Spain. The blend is a mix of 12 to 15-year-old bourbon barrels that once vatted were re-barreled into those Oloroso sherry casks for final maturation. Finally, those barrels were batched, proofed with a touch of water, and bottled as-is.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a sense of orange oils layered into an old pine plank on the nose with a spiced cherry pie drizzled with powdered sugar icing and dark powdered sugar next to a hint of meaty and almost waxy prunes.
Palate: The palate has a soft vanilla pudding vibe next to grilled pineapple and peaches with a hint of passion fruit and mango skins before dates and raisins kick in with plenty of winter spice, creating a tropical cocktail vibe … almost.
Finish: The end is spiced like a holiday cake — clove, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc. — with a sense of pineapple-heavy Hawaiian dinner rolls and spiced choco-cherry tobacco leaves.
Bottom Line:
Sherry on bourbon rarely works this well. The classic Turkey notes of dark cherry and clove marry well with the dark sherry notes of an Oloroso here without it being a hat on a hat. It’s complimentary in subtle ways that help make this an exceptional sipper. That’s especially true when you pour this over a rock and it gets super creamy and nutty.
10. Russell’s Reserve Single Rickhouse “Camp Nelson F” Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
The second release of Wild Turkey’s Russell’s Reserve Single Rickhouse Collection has arrived. This time all of the barrels for this batch came from the Camp Nelson campus, specifically the center cut (floors four and five out of seven) barrels from Rickhouse F. Once batched, the whiskey went into the bottle at barrel strength.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: A spiced cherry vibe is present in spades on the nose with a deep and dark cherry cut with anise, clove, allspice, and cinnamon next to rum-soaked raisins, black tea-soaked dates, and a rich and lush vanilla foundation.
Palate: The clove attaches to dried orange rinds as salted rich caramel drives the taste toward more dates, plum sauce, and leathery prunes with a deep winter spice bark vibe next to a dash of powdery white pepper.
Finish: Honeyed tobacco mingles with sticky toffee pudding, mincemeat pies, and sweet oak mixed with richly spiced tobacco rolled with cedar bark, sage, and old wicker porch furniture.
Bottom Line:
Where the first edition of Camp Nelson went full hardcore dessert, this takes the whiskey back to Turkey’s roots — heavy spice barks, dark fruits, and old oaky depth. This is a quintessential example of Turkey bourbon with a deep complexity that keeps going (seriously, I’m still learning more about this bourbon every time that I reopen it and try it again).
Jimmy Russell hand selects eight to nine-year-old barrels from his warehouses for their individual taste and quality. Those barrels are then cut down ever-so-slightly to 101 proof and bottled one at a time with their barrel number and warehouse location right on the bottle.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose draws you in with classic vibes from top to bottom thanks to rich vanilla smoothness, wintry spices, a hint of cedar, and a mix of sour cherry and tart apple with a slight lawn furniture earthiness.
Palate: The palate stays very classic with old boot leather next to dry cedar bark, a layer of rich marzipan cut with orange oils and covered in dark chocolate, and a distant hint of nasturtiums suspended in fresh honey.
Finish: The end finishes with a good hint of spiced cherry tobacco and old leather next to mild nuttiness, bitter chocolate, and soft vanilla cake frosted with cinnamon and cherry.
Bottom Line:
This is one of the best single-barrel products on the shelf today (kind of by far). Gun to head, this is my favorite single-barrel bourbon below $100. It’s so deeply hewn and just plain delicious. Hell, you know what? I’d put this in my top 20 bourbons of all time. It’s that good and that iconic.
This whiskey is a blend of Jimmy and Eddie Russells’ favorite barrels. Jimmy chose nine to 10-year-old barrels and Eddie added in 14-year-old barrels of their classic bourbon. Once batched, that whiskey was then re-barreled into new oak with a special toast and char level and then stored in a timber rickhouse called Tyrone G (as you’re starting to tell, rickhouses are very important to the nuance that makes Turkey great).
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Cinnamon-infused caramel candies mingle with creamed honey and old slices of vanilla cake with an orange-clove-chocolate frosting next to old tobacco leaves and a touch of dried chili pepper flakes on the nose.
Palate: The palate opens with a creamy and lush vanilla foundation that leads to salted caramel over apple cake with a cutting ginger and cinnamon spiciness next to a light touch of dried nasturtiums.
Finish: The end starts sweet and spiced with a mouthful of Hot Tamales before old cherry-choco tobacco folds into an old pine box with a hint of singed cinnamon bark and cherry wood mellow with old boot leather and broken-down lawn furniture.
Bottom Line:
This is so good. I just had it again a few days ago, and it still slaps. It’s one of those pours (even neat) where you lean back and look at your drinking companion like you both just found some buried treasure together.
7. Wild Turkey Master’s Keep A Blend of Kentucky Straight Bourbon and Rye Whiskey Finished in Rye Casks “Unforgotten”
This Master Keep release (from October 2022) is a whiskey born from a crew member accidentally adding some young rye into old bourbon in the batching tank. Everything came to a screeching halt. Once the whiskey was tasted, though, Eddie Rusell realized they had a happy accident on their hands, and their first blend of rye and bourbon was born. Today, this blend is a mix of eight and nine-year-old rye with 13-year-old bourbon that’s then finished in a used rye barrel in Turkey’s pre-Prohibition Rickhouse B.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The whiskey opens with a lush and vibrant fruit orchard full of bright and ripe oranges, tart apples, and sweet peaches next to roasted almonds, salted caramel, and creamed honey with a touch of hickory and pine.
Palate: There’s a sense of that salted caramel sweetness on the palate that leads to mince meat pies dusted in powdered sugar and nutmeg with a hint of dark chocolate-covered espresso beans, old oak staves, and dried sage .. and maybe some spearmint.
Finish: The end has a dried apricot and prunes vibe next to floral honey cut with orange oils, a twinge of marzipan, and more of that bitter dark chocolate tied to pipe tobacco, cedar boxes, and old pepper mills that are more woody than spicy.
Bottom Line:
I like this a lot because it’s a complete outlier in the lineup. It’s way fruitier than what you’d expect from a straight whiskey blend. But those fruits are dark and spicy and take you on a deep and delicious journey that’s pure Turkey.
This also makes an amazing Manhattan. Just sayin’.
6. Wild Turkey Master’s Keep Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Aged for 17 Years
This well-aged bourbon from Eddie Russell highlights deep and balanced Turkey bourbon flavors in every sip. For this expression, Russell hand-selects 17-year-old barrels of Turkey that “travel” between their wooden and brick rickhouses, traversing roughly 200 miles over 17 years. Those barrels are batched and then bottled as-is at a lower proof.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There are clear and bold notes of smoldering cherry and apple bark next to oily vanilla pods, buttery and almost burnt toffee, orange orchards in full bloom, and fresh piles of pipe tobacco cut with clove and cherry on the nose.
Palate: The spice kicks in with a holiday spiced cake edge that leads towards a salted caramel, bitter chocolate-covered espresso beans, and freshly chopped firewood resting in sweet black potting soil.
Finish: The end is soft and luxurious with a deep musty cellar vibe that leads to old leather pouched full of dried apple and cherry tobacco leaves braided with dried wild sagebrush, cedar bark, and strips of old saddle leather with a hint of black mushrooms lurking underneath.
Bottom Line:
It’s funny. Every time that I take a sip of this one, I’m so in love with it. Then by the finish, I always think, “I wish this was a little higher proof…” For me, I adore the balance and complexity but I want more (more on that in a moment). If you’re just getting into high-end bourbon, that low proof is going to hook you into a great whiskey-sipping experience.
This is the first rye whiskey that Wild Turkey released for the Master’s Keep line. Eddie Russell devised this whiskey from nine to 11-year-old barrels from the prime sections of various rickhouses. Once batched, the whiskey was just proofed before bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a sense of apple old-fashioned doughnuts on the nose with a cinnamon-maple glaze next to old rye bread crusts with caraway and fennel with a slight whisper of dry dill before a whisper of white pepper and dried chili starts to sneak in.
Palate: Salted apple chips dipped in floral honey drive the palate toward sour mulled wine full of star anise, clove, cardamom, and mace with a dash of molasses and rum-raisin.
Finish: The end leans into the woodiness of the spices with cinnamon bark and allspice berries with the faintest line of sasparilla and black licorice-laced tobacco braided with old wicker canes.
Bottom Line:
While Wild Turkey is renowned for its bourbon, their rye is first-class whiskey. This is the most first class of the first-class rye expressions. This is just an amazingly deep and rewarding sipping rye. You cannot go wrong pouring this neat or on a big ol’ rock. Or make an amazing Manhattan with it. Trust me.
4. Wild Turkey Master’s Keep Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Bottled In Bond
This is the same whiskey as Master’s Keep 17-Year. In this case, after batching minimum-17-year-old barrels, the whiskey was only proofed down to 50% or 100-proof for bottling as per bottled in bond laws. The resulting whiskey is then bottled as-is.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a bold nose of spicy Christmas cakes spiked with orange oils, candied cherries, and dried apples next to vanilla pods and worn saddle leather that leads to this subtle hint of fresh cinnamon rolls with a cream cheese frosting cut with lemon and vanilla.
Palate: The palate is the epitome of smoothness with a subtle warmth derived from woody winter spices — star anise, clove, nutmeg, cinnamon — that then branches toward this whisper of burnt sugars and fats from an old brisket smoker with a hint of salted red taffy and singed marshmallow next to vanilla pound cake with a hint of poppy seeds.
Finish: The end has a sweet cinnamon candy flourish before smoldering wild sage and old boots arrive with a dark chocolate espresso cherry tobacco layers into an old cedar box with a hint of black dirt lurking in the distant background.
Bottom Line:
There it is! Master’s Keep 17-year at a higher proof. It’s like the whiskey gods heard me and gave me everything I wanted.
This was my favorite overall Turkey pour for ages. It still technically is. But I have to admit the next three whiskeys are just more complex and interesting. But this is the bottle that I’d reach for on every special occasion.
3. Russell’s Reserve Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Aged 13 Years
This whiskey was made by Eddie Russell to celebrate his 40th year of distilling whiskey with his dad, Jimmy Russell. The juice is a collection of a minimum of 13-year-old barrels that Eddie Russell hand-picked. Those barrels were married and then bottled as-is with no proofing or filtration.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Sweet and dried fruits invite you on the nose as a touch of fresh, creamy, and dark Black Forest cake mingles with mild holiday spices, dried almonds, and a sense of rich pipe tobacco just kissed with sultanas.
Palate: That dark chocolate and cherry fruit drive the palate as a hint of charred cedar leads toward vanilla tobacco with more of that dark chocolate and a small touch of honey, orange blossom, and a whisper of dried chili flake.
Finish: That honey leads back to the warmth and spice with a thin line of cherry bark smoke lurking on the very backend with more bitter chocolate, buttery vanilla, and dark cherry all combining into chewy tobacco packed into an old pine box and wrapped up with worn leather thread.
Bottom Line:
The 2023 bottling of this one blew me away. It’s everything you want in a well-aged bourbon with amazing depth, delicious nuance, and beautiful complexity that just keeps giving.
2. Wild Turkey Master’s Keep Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Finished in Jamaican Rum Casks “Voyage”
The latest entry in Wild Turkey’s Master Keep line is a collaboration between Wild Turkey’s Eddie Russell and Appleton Estate’s Dr. Joy Spence — both icons in their fields. The whiskey in the bottle is a 10-year-old batch of Wild Turkey bourbon that’s refilled into Appleton Estate rum barrels from Jamaica. Those barrels held classic pot still rum for 14 years before they were shipped up to Kentucky. The bourbon rested for 10 to 12 months before batching and bottling with a touch of local limestone water for bottling.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose opens with a sense of classic Kentucky bourbon with a sharply spiced cherry/apple vibe that gives way to a deep cellar funk next to rum raisin coffee cake, dark chocolate-covered espresso beans, and rich marzipan dipped in orange oils and maybe a whisper of palm flower (flor de izote).
Palate: The palate leans into rich vanilla creaminess as spice barks and black cherry combine for a moist Black Forest cake soaked in dark rum with a sense of green peppercorns and dried ancho chilis offering a sharp counterpoint next to a whisper of floral summer honey and old cellar oak.
Finish: The end softens dramatically toward orange-infused marzipan and vanilla malts with a cherry on top next to honey tobacco rolled with smudging sage, cacao nibs, and funky oak staves.
Bottom Line:
This is the best rum-finished bourbon, period. It’s also a contender for one of the best bourbon releases of 2023. It’s funky, fresh, and vital. It feels new and fun while adhering to deeply quintessential bourbon themes. It feels like going on vacation to your favorite spot on the planet and everything goes exactly right.
This brand-new release from Wild Turkey is the first time Bruce Russell’s name has appeared on a bottle. Bruce teamed up with with dad (Master Distiller Eddie Russell) and his granddad (Master Distiller and legend Jimmy Russell) to create a bourbon that spoke to all three of their whiskey palates. The whiskey in the bottles ended up being a blend of 9-, 12-, 14-, and 15-year-old bourbon that all three of the Russells selected together. Once batched, that bourbon was bottled 100% as-is without filtering or proofing to highlight the beauty of the whiskey being made at Wild Turkey.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Lush vanilla oils are cut with salted caramel and dark cherry root beer made with real sasparilla next to warming winter spices (clove, anise, and allspice) that lean toward mulled wine, cherry-laced tobacco, and hints of dry smudging sage braided with sweetgrass.
Palate: That woodiness leads on the palate before a rush of vanilla buttercream and toffee rolled in roasted almond and dusted with dark chocolate powder shifts the taste toward warm apple pie filling cut with more cloves and allspice and washed down with cherry cola.
Finish: That dark cherry is just kissed with floral honey on the backend as the spices take on a woody bark vibe and the toffee makes a buttery and lush return with a near marzipan feel before old oak staves from a musty rickhouse lead to another braid of sage, cedar, and tobacco on the chewy and silky end.
Bottom Line:
This has … everything that makes Wild Turkey great in a single glass. While that might sound overwhelming, it’s really not because Wild Turkey is and always has been a very dialed-in whiskey. This is dialed in but it’s not tight. It’s loose and flowing with a deep creaminess that accents the dry and lush fruity perfectly.
If you were to look up “Wild Turkey” in the whiskey dictionary, this is the whiskey that’d be there. Not 101 or Rare Breed. This.
Halloween 2023 is here. While most recording artists — including Ice Spice, Megan Thee Stallion, and Uproxx cover star Chlöe — are focused on their over-the-top costumes, King Isis is interested solely in providing the soundtrack for the evening. The artist’s spooky spirit is at the center of their latest single, “Make It Up.”
For the official video, the musician fully embraced the ghoulish theme associated with the holiday as they finds themselves caught in a battle for the heart of a vampire.
“Waves we undo / Crash and renew / What’s it take for you / Shades of your blue / Sink in my shoes / Drowning in your hues / Still see you in my rear view no I can’t keep running from / Release you I still bleed you hold me like another crutch / I don’t wanna know or let it go how hard it was,” sings King Isis.
In a statement shared with Clash Magazine, they shared the inspiration behind the track. “I wrote the first version of this song at home in Oakland, going through lows in love and life,” King Isis said. “I was experimenting with darker production and more droney melodies, which I felt encompassed the monotonous feeling of just getting through the motions that were my life at the time.”
Watch the “Make It Up” video above.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Sabrina Carpenter perfectly timed her new video for her song, “Feather,” from her Emails I Can’t Send deluxe album, to drop on Halloween. In just the first few seconds, it’s clear why.
Carpenter pulls up in her best funeral attire before the video cuts to her grooving down the sidewalk in a different outfit — capturing the attention of some guys who start creepily following her in the process. However, she has other plans, as the three are hit by a truck, while Carpenter safely crosses the street and keeps going.
The next scene continues to play off male toxicity, as Carpenter is taking a boxing class and two guys chime in, trying to teach her how to throw a punch. “Your signals are mixed / You act like a b*tch / You fit every stereotype,” she sings as one of the fan-favorite lines.
Then, the horror energy kicks in, as the men fight each other — leading to a bloodbath in the process. Without spoilers, for those who have seen Bottoms, it very much is like that ending.
With visual nods to Romeo + Juliet in an early church scene and the blend of spooky inspirations, Carpenter continues leading men to their deaths, including her fellow former Disney actor Milo Manheim. Basically, it treats the fans who had been waiting for this to everything they could’ve hoped for.
Netflix’s wild new film Pain Hustlers follows the real-life rise and fall of a small opioid company called Insys Therapeutics that sold a pain relief spray with fentanyl as the main ingredient in the 2010s. This obviously backfired a bit.
Pain Hustlersstars Chris Evans (with a whole facial hair situation), Emily Blunt, Andy Garcia, Catherine O’Hara, Jay Duplass, Brian d’Arcy James, and Chloe Coleman. The film is based on the New York Times article of the same name, which then inspired the 2022 book The Hard Sell.
The movie follows Blunt’s character Liza as she unexpectedly becomes involved in a drug conspiracy after taking a job as a rep at the pharmaceutical company. According to Netflix’s official description: “After losing her job, a blue-collar woman who’s struggling to raise her daughter takes a job out of desperation. She begins work at a failing pharmaceutical start-up, but what she doesn’t anticipate is the dangerous racketeering scheme she’s suddenly entered.”
Liza isn’t actually based on a real person, meaning there is no Emily Blunt lookalike roaming the streets out there in the pharmaceutical world. But she is a combination of several people whom producer David Yates and writer Wells Tower met while researching for the movie. Producer Lawrence Grey told Forbes,
There were various characters in this story, men and women, who all feed into Liza. She’s a composite of many different personalities and also partly our own creation as well. We wanted this woman who was ambitious, and idealistic, and perhaps a little bit naive, and who had not always been recognized for the ability that she had, because of her background, her sort of low income status, her lack of education. So there were lots of things that we created or added to Liza, that we all felt a connection to, in some shape or form, and we also cherry picked a few qualities in some of the characters of the Incys story. But yeah, she is ultimately our creation, Wells’ creation, I should say, at the end of the day.
This week saw the release of a ton of great new pop music. A certain A-List pop star eclipsed the discussions this weekend, after dropping an anticipated recreation of one of her biggest eras. K-pop bands like Seventeen and Le Sserafim also returned with some new music that will instantly boost moods.
Check out the rest of Uproxx’s Best New Pop Music roundup below.
Taylor Swift — “Is It Over Now?”
Swift returned this week with her new re-recorded 1989 (Taylor’s Version), with five new vault tracks. One of the highlights is “Is It Over Now?” which closes out the record with a vengeance. Seemingly twisting the knife at a certain ex from that era, the fast-paced song finds Swift going through the motions of what led to the end of their relationship — as he goes after her “clone” and models.
The Kid LAROI — “What Just Happened”
The Kid LAROI’s new song finds him struggling with a relationship after a tense fight and a series of struggles. Fans had been familiar with the song for a while, as he performed it as a teaser during his tour, but now it has an official release tied to his forthcoming debut album.
Seventeen — “God Of Music”
Seventeen’s “God Of Music” is a joyful take on how the art of sound can bring people together — or even if they speak different languages, they can still use it as a form of communication. Basically, it is just a feel-good song with a sweet message.
Elley Duhé – “Talk”
After first making waves in 2018 with a Zedd collab, Elley Duhé has continued to impress fans through her solo music, and her recent one, “Talk,” shows why. In a track about living in the moment in love, she sings, “I’m hearin’ everything I want / I see the fall, I see the fall.”
Le Sserafim — “Perfect Night”
Le Sserafim dropped a killer hit just in time for Halloween weekend, as the girls dish about how they’re going to have a “Perfect Night.” The K-Pop group takes a carefree mentality to going out.
Baby Queen — “I Can’t Get My Sh*t Together”
Baby Queen is gearing up to drop her new album, Quarter Life Crisis. Her latest preview titled “I Can’t Get My Sh*t Together” is about just that, as the singer is struggling emotionally to sort things out in life.
Angie McMahon — “Making It Through”
“Making It Through” by Angie McMahon is the closing track of her new album, Light, Dark, Light Again — and the phrase is pulled from this song. She finds herself mourning a loss and only getting by, but still, she holds onto the hope that things will get better.
Poppy — “Zig”
The title track of Poppy’s new album, “Zig” finds her leaning back into her pop inspirations, after experimenting with a heavier rock-influenced sound. “I like catchy songs, I like choruses, and I like pop music, but I’ve had that across all my records,” she told Dork Magazine.
Alec Benjamin — “Different Kind Of Beautiful”
Alec Benjamin’s “Different Kind Of Beautiful” is a love song in the purest form. “I was hopin’ that I’d run into / You here, but now I’m stumblin’ / And I can’t seem to figure this out,” Benjamin sings about getting caught off guard.
Ashnikko — “Halloweenie V: The Moss King”
Ashnikko is back this year to continue a spooky tradition, by dropping her new “Halloweenie V: The Moss King” single. After not releasing any themed track last year, fans had been waiting for it to return — so they could add it to their haunted soundtracks.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
After months of talk and debate about who got better and who got worse over the summer, the first week of the NBA season is always a treat as we finally get to see these teams play basketball again. There are always early disappointments and pleasant surprises, and one of my favorite things is when a young team everyone’s excited about verifies that hype with a strong start.
This year, that team is the Oklahoma City Thunder, who have gotten off to a 3-1 start with their lone loss being a blowout at the hands of the defending champion Denver Nuggets. That result showed what OKC still needs to do to reach that upper echelon of the NBA’s elite — particularly building out their frontcourt — but what they’ve done in their other three games is a testament to how far they’ve come and the foundation they’ve built.
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander has picked up where he left off a year ago, averaging 26.5 points, 7.3 rebounds, and 6.3 assists per game on 48.2/35.7/95.0 shooting splits over the first four games — and that includes one of his worst career performances against Denver. What’s maybe most impressive about how SGA has been dominating is that he’s not getting to the free throw line anywhere close to the same rate as last year, and yet he’s remained highly efficient and highly impactful. He isn’t drawing fouls at the rate he did last year, with his free throw attempts cut nearly in half so far, but he’s been undeterred from using his off-beat rhythm to knife his way through opposing defenses, get to his spots, and create strong looks for his teammates.
More important to OKC being a more consistent team this year is the support around Shai. Josh Giddey and Jalen Williams are providing high-level secondary ball-handling and creation, while Lu Dort has continued his development as a strong spot-up shooter to go along with his defensive prowess. The biggest addition the Thunder made this offseason was simply getting Chet Holmgren on the floor, and his presence has provided some welcome balance in terms of frontcourt scoring, averaging 15 points per game on 60.6/62.5/75.8 shooting splits. Holmgren might still need to get fatter, in the words of Nikola Jokic, to handle the West’s top bigs defensively, but it’s clear the upside he brings to this team.
We often hear about young teams “learning to win” in the NBA, and it’s clear last year’s run to the Play-In taught the Thunder a lot of valuable lessons they’ve been able to carry over to this season. From the top down, they have an impressive resolve and collective calm in key moments that seems to be an extension of their coach, Mark Daigneault, and their star, SGA. They’ve bought in on both ends of the floor, and while there will be games like Sunday’s against Denver where they’re reminded of the work still left to do, OKC has arrived as a playoff contender in the West.
Where do they land in this week’s DIME Power Rankings? Let’s find out.
1. Denver Nuggets (4-0, Last week — 1)
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The Nuggets are an absolute buzzsaw right now. Their starting lineup is still the best in the NBA by a healthy margin and because of their continuity with that group, it’s just really hard for other teams to reach their level this early in the season. Their only real question this year is the bench unit, and they should be encouraged by what they’ve seen, especially from Peyton Watson who has had a great first week in the full rotation as the eighth man.
2. Boston Celtics (3-0, Last week — 2)
The Celtics have, likewise, taken care of business out of the gates, and of the contenders that made big additions this summer, they’re the one that looks to be the most comfortable in the early going. Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown haven’t missed a beat and Kristaps Porzingis looks very comfortable playing off of those two so far.
3. Dallas Mavericks (3-0, Last week — 16)
The most surprising of the undefeateds through the first week is Dallas, which hasn’t faced the toughest schedule but has still been impressive. Luka Doncic looks incredible, averaging 39 points, 11.7 rebounds, and 9.7 assists in the first week, and he’s getting support from the role players in a way that was missing last year. I doubt they shoot 40 percent as a team from three all year, but the offense looking this good with Kyrie Irving ice cold bodes well. If the defense can remain passable, they figure to be a factor in the West playoff race.
4. Golden State Warriors (3-1, Last week — 6)
After stumbling on opening night against Phoenix, the Warriors have ripped off three straight wins including a very impressive showing against the Pelicans on a road back-to-back on Monday. Steph’s doing Steph stuff (33.5 ppg on 71.4 eFG%), the defense has looked good even with just two games of Draymond, and they’ve even got positive contribution from the kids (Jonathan Kuminga and Moses Moody) off the bench. Chris Paul is off to a rough shooting start, but it’s already clear what he can bring the non-Steph minutes in terms of running a competent offense.
5. Oklahoma City Thunder (3-1, Last week — 17)
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is a full-on superstar now, Chet Holmgren has impressed in his first four games, and their depth on the wing and in the backcourt continues to shine. Last year’s foray into competitiveness seems to have paid dividends this year, as they know what it takes to win games and have an impressive sense of calm in big moments, thanks in large part to SGA.
6. Philadelphia 76ers (2-1, Last week — 9)
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The Sixers narrowly lost the opener to the Bucks but have looked very solid since. Tyrese Maxey has fully embraced being the lead guard (30.3 points, 6.3 assists, 6.7 rebounds per game) and Joel Embiid looks like, well, Joel Embiid (31.0 points, 10.3 rebounds, and 7.0 assists per game). Maxey’s hot start was enough to get Philly to go ahead and send Harden to L.A. and give Tyrese the keys to the offense. While their stats probably won’t remain quite that gaudy once the sample size increases, it’s a very good sign for Philly’s long-term prospects that the offense is humming with Maxey at the helm and Embiid embracing some of the facilitating role himself.
7. Phoenix Suns (2-1, Last week — 5)
I don’t think anyone’s outlook on Phoenix has changed much in the first week. They look great when they have their guys on the floor, but without Booker and Beal in L.A., they stumbled against the Lakers. Health of their main guys is the question looming over this Suns team, but KD’s looked great and Booker was terrific in the opener before sitting the last two with a toe injury.
8. Sacramento Kings (2-1, Last week — 14)
The Kings look a lot like last year’s Kings, with a highly explosive offense and a defense that can be a bit shaky. Their most recent win over the Lakers was quite impressive, as they closed L.A. out in overtime without Fox (injured) or Sabonis (fouled out). That’s a confidence builder early in the season and particularly important as they’ll need to navigate some time without their star guard as he deals with an ankle sprain.
9. Indiana Pacers (2-1, Last week — 20)
The Pacers got off to a hot start before a somewhat disappointing loss to the Bulls on Monday, but they’ve already shown how fun they can be on offense when they get rolling. Tyrese Haliburton is pulling all the right strings (20 ppg/12.3 apg) and when shots are falling, they’re a nightmare to deal with. While we knew the offense would be good, they’ve been solid defensively (16th in the NBA in DRtg) out of the gates and keeping in that league average range would be huge for their chances to hang around in the East playoff race.
10. LA Clippers (2-1, Last week — 12)
The Clippers mowed down two bad teams at home in the form of the Blazers and Spurs and dropped a tight one in Utah. While we haven’t learned a lot about L.A. and taking care of business against the bottom of the league isn’t wildly impressive, it is vital to do if you want to get a playoff berth. Now we’ll get to see how they fare with James Harden joining the roster, as they get to almost start all over again this week.
11. New Orleans Pelicans (2-1, Last week — 18)
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Zion Williamson being back to doing Zion things is very fun. However, this New Orleans offense has been stuck in the mud overall and that’s a bit concerning despite a 2-1 start to the year. They really miss Trey Murphy III’s floor spacing, as evidenced by a 31.7 percent shooting start from three as a team. The good news is the defense has been better than anticipated, Steph Curry catching fire aside, and the question for New Orleans is, if/when they can get healthy, can they strike the right balance between offense and defense.
12. Milwaukee Bucks (2-1, Last week — 3)
The Bucks right now are a good example of how basketball isn’t played on paper. They’re 2-1, yes, but it’s been a bit of a struggle getting the Damian Lillard-Giannis Antetokounmpo pairing off the ground. While it’s clear how they can complement each other, it’s also clear it’s going to require some time for those two to build the needed trust and chemistry to tap into that full potential. I do believe they’ll get there, but in the meantime it’s going to be a bit frustrating in Milwaukee, especially because the defense clearly isn’t what it used to be. Still, 2-1 with a sloppy start is pretty good and I’m probably being a touch harsh here, grading on a curve of what I feel they should be.
13. LA Lakers (2-2, Last week — 12)
It seems less than ideal that the “LeBron is only gonna play 30 minutes per game” thing lasted just one game. This was supposed to be a deeper Lakers team this year, but they have been extremely dependent on LeBron and Anthony Davis to be great each night to win. The good news is, those two are capable of that on a lot of nights. The bad news is, having to lean on them this much this early in the season wasn’t the plan. We’ll see if the “others” can wake up after a sluggish start and get them back on plan.
14. Orlando Magic (2-1, Last week — 23)
Orlando blitzed the Rockets in the opener and then beat the Blazers before dropping a tight one to the Lakers on the road. That all feels about right for this Magic team. They need Paolo Banchero and Franz Wagner to find a rhythm offensively, but if this early defensive showing is for real, the Magic are going to be frisky once their stars get settled in.
15. Atlanta Hawks (2-2, Last week — 15)
The Hawks got off to a dreadful start but have rattled off two straight impressive wins over the Bucks and Timberwolves. Will we be in for another Jekyll/Hyde season from the Hawks where they just can’t ever get away from the .500 mark? They certainly hope not, and it’ll come down to Dejounte Murray and Trae Young finding a bit more consistency in their impact. The highs have been great, it’s just a matter of raising the floor for the lows with this team.
16. Detroit Pistons (2-2, Last week — 28)
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The Pistons have been legitimately impressive to start the season. Cade Cunningham looks terrific and Jalen Duren appears to be an emerging star in the frontcourt. The defense has improved dramatically under Monty Williams, and if they can get some consistent offensive production between Cunningham and Duren, this Pistons team might just be able to stick around in the Play-In race in the East.
17. Chicago Bulls (2-2, Last week — 19)
The Bulls had a team meeting after the first game of the season and they lost a game by double-digits in which Zach LaVine scored 51 (to the aforementioned Pistons). They did nab a couple wins over the Raptors and Pacers, the latter of which being their most impressive result yet, but this is still a team that feels a bit combustible. Maybe they can right the ship, but this start hasn’t alleviated concerns in Chicago that this is a team that’s run its course.
18. Minnesota Timberwolves (1-2, Last week — 11)
The Timberwolves scored 79 points in the first half to take a 19-point lead against the Hawks and then proceeded to give up a 60-20 run in the second half to lose by 14. That’s hard to do and the Wolves need to really figure out how to be more consistent offensively. It’s clear there’s a good team in there somewhere, but it’s not certain they are capable of bringing that out on a nightly basis.
19. New York Knicks (1-2, Last week — 8)
The backcourt has been great for the Knicks to start the season as RJ Barrett and Jalen Brunson have both looked very good – with some flashes from Immanuel Quickley off the bench. However, it’s been tough sledding from the frontcourt, as Julius Randle’s started his season off ice cold and they just haven’t gotten much from the bigs in the first week. The Knicks have been in each game so far and dropped a heartbreaker in the opener in Boston, but they need their All-Star forward to find his form again if they’re going to make a climb.
20. Cleveland Cavaliers (1-2, Last week — 7)
It’s only a week into the season and the Cavs already have three of their top four battling injuries. Max Strus’ huge opener keeps them from being winless right now, but with their star backcourt duo both battling hamstring issues and Jarrett Allen out with an ankle, it’s not an ideal situation for the Cavs coming out of the gate.
21. Brooklyn Nets (1-2, Last week — 21)
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After a couple of tough, close losses to start the season, the Nets could finally open things up on the Hornets on Monday to get their first win. It’s a bit of an adventure defensively in Brooklyn, but the offense is humming along. Cam Thomas is having his annual bucket-getting extravaganzas, Ben Simmons is in his comfortable role as a facilitator again, and Mikal Bridges steadily rolling along. Nic Claxton is the one guy on the roster they can’t really replace, so naturally he’s already battling an ankle issue which has contributed heavily to their defensive woes.
22. San Antonio Spurs (1-2, Last week — 27)
Victor Wembanyama is really fun, but Sunday’s 40-point loss to the Clippers was a reminder that this is still a really young team that will have high highs and really low lows. Still, being competitive in two out of every three games would be a very nice step forward for this Spurs team, and the flashes from Wemby, Devin Vassell, and others are going to make them enjoyable to watch most nights.
23. Miami Heat (1-3, Last week — 10)
The Heat haven’t been done many favors by their early season schedule, but they also just haven’t been very good. Bam Adebayo’s been the exception to that, but he is now dealing with a hip injury that kept him out of the loss in Milwaukee. Tyler Herro’s embraced his role as a leading scorer on this team, but hasn’t gotten a lot of support from his backcourt mates. The concerns at the point guard position still persist and Jimmy Butler’s gotten off to a sluggish start, which is not something this Heat roster is equipped to really handle.
24. Utah Jazz (1-3, Last week — 24)
The Jazz have had a brutal schedule to open the year, facing four playoff teams in the first four games. As such, a 1-3 record to start isn’t a surprise. The good news is Lauri Markkanen has picked up where he left off last year, averaging 25 points and 9.8 rebounds on solid efficiency. The bad news is the concerns about their backcourt have not gone away and it’s not abundantly clear what the right answers are at the guard spot for Will Hardy right now.
25. Charlotte Hornets (1-2, Last week — 26)
After beating Atlanta in the opener, the Hornets have dropped games by double digits to Detroit and Brooklyn. LaMelo’s shooting struggles are not optimal for a team that needs him to be the engine, and defense also has not been great. The good news is, Brandon Miller has been very good offensively and whenever your top rookie gets off to a strong start and builds confidence, that’s a good thing. They just really need Ball to find his rhythm, because this isn’t a roster built to win ugly games with their defense.
26. Washington Wizards (1-2, Last week — 30)
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We are only three games into the season and we have already learned that when it’s bad for Washington, it’s going to be really bad. They have been boat-raced twice, with a win over the Grizzlies in between. The defense is extremely flammable and the offense has not been able to keep up so far, but that’s in part due to a slow start for Jordan Poole. There will be some fun nights when he finds it and this offense takes off, but it seems the Wizards are going to be who we thought they were.
27. Portland Trail Blazers (1-3, Last week — 29)
The Blazers were destined for the bottom until they beat the Raptors in a rather fascinating (and also hideous) game. Portland’s youngsters are struggling, as you’d expect, but they do have some competent veterans and rode that group down the stretch of the fourth to a win in Toronto. Everything in Portland comes down to when the light comes on for Scoot Henderson and Shaedon Sharpe in a larger role now – especially with Anfernee Simons out for a month-plus.
28. Toronto Raptors (1-3, Last week — 22)
The Raptors are just a tough watch right now. They make scoring the basketball look like a painful venture and the same problems that have persisted for a few years in the halfcourt are, shockingly, still problems with the same guys on the roster. When you can’t do better than 91 points against the Blazers this year, that’s a real problem. To their credit, the defense is really good, but it’s just hard to win games consistently in 2023 solely off the efforts on that end.
29. Memphis Grizzlies (0-4, Last week — 13)
Memphis has been close in a few games to start the year, but just cannot put it together to get their first win. Ja Morant still has 21 games to serve on his suspension and they have yet to figure out how to replace Steven Adams. Their lack of rim pressure without Ja is noticeable, as they have a lot of guys who want to shoot jumpers who aren’t shooting them particularly well thus far. Without the ability to create easy buckets and free throw opportunities, they’ve just not been able to avoid the scoring droughts that allow their opponents to take control of the game.
30. Houston Rockets (0-3, Last week — 25)
After getting smoked in the opener in Orlando, the Rockets have at least bounced back to show they’re competitive in their last two losses. They dropped a winnable overtime game to the Spurs and then got Steph Curry’d on Sunday, and unfortunately, their upcoming schedule does them few favors. Getting a win over Charlotte on Wednesday could be very important because after that it gets brutal over their next 13 games.
I went to the mall last week. Just a quick trip. I was grabbing some lunch and making a return and I wanted to check out some new sweatsh… I don’t know why I’m trying to justify this to you. I can go to the mall if I want. I’m a grown-up. And it’s not even really the point. The point I was getting at is that, on my way in from the parking lot through the department store, I saw a bunch of Christmas decorations up. Trees, wreaths, ribbons, all of it. It was October 22.
Which, like, fine. It’s still weird to see holiday stuff up next to spooky decorations, but I can live with it. Physical stores are struggling in the time of online shopping and any little nudge to help your brain think about buying Christmas gifts probably helps them a bit. Plus, I went to the mall. I was asking for this, in a way. I don’t have to love it but I knew what I was signing up for.
What was tougher to swallow, however, was when I came home and flipped on a football game and saw… this.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with this commercial from a content standpoint. It’s got everything a nice little holiday commercial could want: cute kids, presents, a festive song performed by Christmas music icon Darlene Love, and yes, I do recommend adding “Marshmallow World” to your various Christmas playlists for whenever you get around to decorating. But also… I mean… come on, people.
I know the battle has been lost over Thanksgiving. That used to be a thing. People would get upset when Christmas stuff started rolling out before the turkey was in the oven. It’s kind of the whole point of Black Friday, really, the thing where Thanksgiving ends and we shift from one holiday to another for Day One of the Christmas shopping season. But that slide started years ago. Holiday stuff leaked into mid-November. And then early November. And we all kind of sat back and let it happen because the Thanksgiving damn had already broken.
But… come on.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with this commercial in practice. I’m glad Natasha Lyonne is out here cashing checks. I love Natasha Lyonne. The bigger problem is that I saw this little ad at halftime of a football game and the very next ad was for the spooky content a streaming service was offering for the upcoming Halloween weekend and it just felt… wrong. Kind of unsettling.
You can mix Christmas and horror if that’s what you’re going for from the jump. We have a slew of movies out there that prove that. Action, too, as Shane Black has made a career out of showing us. (Please watch The Nice Guysthis holiday season.) But the shift in tone from fun snow-y vibes and sweaters to “you are going to die inside a pumpkin” did not feel right.
And that’s before we got to… this.
NO
NO
I DO NOT WANT TO SEE JOHN TRAVOLTA AS SANTA CLAUS IN OCTOBER
I DO NOT THINK I NEED A SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER-INSPIRED CHRISTMAS COMMERCIAL AT ALL, REALLY
When Marge Simpson introduced the first Treehouse of Horror episode of The Simpsons by warning viewers that it was “really scary,” I believed her. I also took her word in “Treehouse of Horror II” (“It’s scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too”) and “Treehouse of Horror V” (“It seems the show is so scary, that Congress won’t even let us show it”).
In my defense, I was seven years old when that episode — the one where the blood usually gets off on the second floor — aired. Now, as an adult who is disturbingly desensitized to violence, I’m no longer afraid of Homer getting sent to Hell after selling his soul to the Devil. In fact, when I think of the most disturbing scene on The Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.
Neither is an Itchy and Scratchy short, although the Fantasia parody where Scratchy chops hundreds of Itchys into pink dust which he inhales and then the little Scratchys begin hacking away at his organs from the inside is up there. But you expect something horrific to happen during The Itchy and Scratchy Show or Treehouse of Horror. They’re not technically (I’m sorry) “canon,” so murder, decapitations, evil twins, burning to death, and chest-bursting dolphins are on the menu. In a “normal” episode, especially in the early seasons, the writers and the animators tried to “avoid surrealism.”
Which is what made this season four scene so shocking.
In “Brother from the Same Planet,” written by Jon Vitti and directed by Jeffrey Lynch, Homer forgets to pick Bart up from soccer practice despite Milhouse’s reminder to “Trab pu kcip.” When Homer finally arrives (after having a dream where he finds only his skeleton), Bart is soaking wet from a rainstorm and furious at his father. Homer tries to win him over with ice cream, but his apology is lacking. “I know you’re mad at me right now, and I’m kinda mad, too. I mean, we could sit here and try to figure out ‘who forgot to pick up who’ until the cows come home. But let’s just say we’re both wrong and that’ll be that,” he says. While Homer refuses to accept the blame, Bart looks over at his dad and pictures the gruesome sight of his face melting off, leaving only exposed teeth, a red scalp, and pupil-less eyes. “Now how about a hug?”
It’s The Simpsons’ Large Marge moment, an out-of-nowhere shock. Do I want melty Homer as a tattoo? Of course (although evil Lisa holding a knife comes first). But the psychological trauma of a son being so mad at his father that he pictures him looking like he took an acid bath in Hell is disturbing stuff.
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