In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they’re not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn’t mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you’re telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don’t want your male coworkers to think you’re getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just “thinking out loud,” “throwing something out there,” or sharing something “dumb,” “random,” or “crazy.”
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don’t come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let’s face it, no one might’ve ever heard it if he hadn’t repeated it.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Men love explaining things. But when he’s explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, “I already know that.” Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it’s important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you’re too sure about it. People will appreciate your “hey what do I know?!” sensibilities.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you’d be great for the role even though you don’t really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don’t take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don’t stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a “secret power” because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn’t frighten and intimidate others. That’s what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
A satirical take on what it’s like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she’s a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.
It’s time to come to terms with the fact that summer is officially over. We know, it’s hard to handle. But we have to face the facts together — leaves are changing, the days are growing shorter, and temperatures are dropping. Okay, okay, none of that is ~quite~ happening yet. It’s still trending warm nationwide but beginning September 22nd, it’s autumn whether it feels like it or not.
That’s why for this month’s Style Watch we’re placing special emphasis on Fall wardrobe staples that look great and are especially easy to layer up. All our favorite fashion brands are way ahead of us, just about every brand out there from the ultra huge to the smaller direct-to-consumer brands have unveiled their respective fall and winter collections. So if you’ve been looking for a wardrobe refresh, now is the perfect time.
We’re here to highlight a few pieces that’ll instantly elevate your wardrobe and have you looking and feeling your best. We’re talking both statement pieces and everyday streetwear that’ll help ensure you’re the best dressed in the room. Once you find your fit, be sure to complete the look by hitting up our list of the sneaker silhouettes you need to care about right now.
A classic everyday pair of pants with iconic 1980’s design flourishes, the Gramicci Pant is a staple. The pants features a low rise relaxed fit with an adjustable waistband with an integrated belt and buckle and a mountain-climbers aesthetic that feels in-step with today’s trends.
The build is 100% organic cotton twill with extra room at the hips and a gusseted crotch that allows for enhanced movement, durability, and comfort. The pants are available in 12 different colorways that are all neutral enough to pair with the rest of your wardrobe.
Layer your cutest fit with Princess Polly’s Goldsmith Faux Leather Bomber Jacket, our current favorite from the brand’s latest collection. The bomber-style jacket sports an oversized fit constructed from faux leather with a classic collar, zip front fastening, and ribbed waistband for a silhouette that is flattering but still roomy and layer-able.
The jacket is available in both black and brown but if you’re in the LA area, be sure to hit up the brand’s first US store at the Westfield Century City mall to get the exclusive Cherry Red colorway.
The Century City store — which just had its grand opening last week — features some of the most popular Princess Polly fits and provides the ideal shopping experience for the brand which has so far operated with a direct-to-consumer model. If you’ve always been curious about the fits, this is your chance to get intimately familiar.
For the skatewear brand’s latest Fall-Winter collection, Palace teamed up with everyone’s favorite workwear brand, Carhartt WIP, for a small collection of utilitarian fits. The obvious highlight is this green camo heavy duty long sleeve shirt.
The layer-able shirt sports a regular fit constructed from 100% cotton twill with two chest pockets and dual Carthartt WIP and Palace branding. It’s a simple piece but features a fall-friendly colorway you can toss on over a t-shirt, or button up and wear under a jacket during the colder months.
A lot of this list focuses on tops, but we couldn’t let you go through the season without some solid bottom choices. Right now cargo pants and looser fits are king, so Teddy Fresh’s unisex Corduroy Cargo Pants had to make the list.
Featuring a relaxed fit corduroy build, these cargos sport a digital print plaid design with side and patch pockets, rear pockets (that’s more pockets than you’ll need), a zipper and button closure, and black matte rubber coated shanks and snaps.
The pants are available in both brown and purple in a 26-40 waist size run.
Denim Tears x Levi’s — Type 2 All Over Wreath Trucker Jacket
Nothing pairs with fall fashion quite like a classic Levi’s Trucker jacket, and sure, you could just go with the OG and it’ll look great, but if you want to take that iconic look and elevate it just a bit, look no further than Denim Tear’s All Over Wreath print.
Part of a larger collection made in collaboration with Tremaine Emory’s Denim Tears, this Trucker features all the classic design details, the flap pockets, the pleated details, but it’s made with premium fabric and finishing.
The jacket sports a 100% non-stitch cotton build with a white all-over flower wreath design printed in Los Angeles. The jacket is available in light wash denim and a darker non-faded wash.
While we’re mostly focusing on layer-able pieces in this roundup, what about those nights when you’re out at the club, bar, or concert? You’re going to need something underneath the layers that captures the party essence. Look no further than Heaven by Marc Jacobs, a collection of y2k-inspired outfits that look straight out of a music video.
Our pick from the collection is the Kiki Cami Top, which is made from polyester and elastane and features a fitted cut, Kiki boot buckles, and asymmetrical cutouts that lead the eye. The top is available in black and pairs with a matching mini skirt, boot set, and shoulder bag.
The piece also features a pink colorway, but it’s unfortunately sold out for now. Might be something to keep an eye on though!
A mix of y2k-style futurism and functional winter wear, Brain Dead’s Translucent Military Smock Jacket is the one piece from the brand’s latest collection that really caught out eye.
The jacket sports a white colorway and a translucent nylon build with oversized billow pockets in contrasting brown. The jacket has a sort of Gorpcore aesthetic to it but with a twist. As if your camping site wasn’t in the woods, but on the moon.
Colorful, finely crafted, and layer-able, the Blanket Overshirt is easily the best piece out of Aimé Leon Dore’s latest Fall-Winter collection. The multi-colored shirt features a blanket-style pattern made from Italian knit fabric with a 2-way metal zipper closure and chest pocket.
The build is made from 70% polyester and 30% wool and is handcrafted in Portugal.
If you’re looking for a high quality warm overshirt to wear buttoned or open over a t-shirt, Noah’s Wool CPO is easily the best choice. This wool shirt was made by the legendary Loden Steiner mill (a legend of wool craftsmanship) exclusively for Noah and sports a pointed collar with chest flap style pockets, barrel cuffs, and a button closure.
The colorway perfectly reflects the season with a mix of warm brown and red tones, a hint of navy, pink, and shades of green. It reflects the colors of changing leaves.
It’s a little early to start gearing up for the winter months, but when a jacket looks this dope, why wait?
The HUMANATURE Langford Parka sports a classic fit with a mid-thigh length cut and is made from recycled materials and updated drums with an adjustable down-filled hood and collar, recessed rib-knit cuffs, CORDURA piping, four exterior pockets, three interior pockets, and two fleece-lined pockets that will help keep your hands warm.
The design and silhouette is super sleek while adding all the rugged protection you need to endure cold temperatures.
Yes, it’s a suede jacket that’ll cost you over a grand, but if you’re looking for that head turning statement piece, something that you can reserve for those moments where you really need to shine and be the coolest in the room, what other brand is going to get you there aside from Cynthia Lu’s Cactus Plant Flea Market?
This is the brand beloved by Tyler the Creator, Pharrell, Lil Uzi Vert, Offset, Willow Smith, Khalid… the list goes on. If someone is an ultra cool musician, it’s safe to say they’ve got a few CPFM pieces in their wardrobe.
If you’re not feeling the price tag, CPFM has several other pieces that are much more sensibly priced, but this is easily the coolest piece so we had to shout it out.
EDITOR’S PICK: Dandy Del Mar — Tropez Terry Cloth Shirt Berdea Tayana Print
If you’re going to do all over terrycloth it’s got to really work. If the patterns are too bold you can quickly become “dude whose whole personality seems to be derived from loud clothing sets.” You don’t ever want to be that dude. This look, from resort wear icons Dandy del Mar, is subtler and, in that, cooler. A little more understated and organic seeming (as in, you seem like a cool Italian or Frenchman instead of an American with something to prove).
The pattern is engaging without going full Dan Flashes and the colors are muted enough to look good even if you’re not the same proportions as Dandy’s models. Living in Laguna Beach, I wear my set… probably a tad too often — the terry cloth itself makes it a nice “tropics in the evening” or “Mediterranean in fall” type of fit. — Steve Bramucci
EDITOR’S PICK: Sheep Inc. — The Checkmate Cardigan
I have gone from “not knowing about Sheep Inc. at all” to “biggest Sheep Inc. stan on earth” in an embarrassingly short time. This sweater is just incredibly well made. It feels like couture quality. It’s heavy but also cozy, which seems to be a tough needle to thread with cardigans. The design is just unexpected enough — leaning into the pink and featuring a little space invader-type sheep logo.
I am never one to swoon over website copy but the way that Sheep Inc. is outpacing other brands with regards to sustainability is borderline embarrassing. They lay it out in their packaging and each product carries an NFC tag that allows you to literally tap in with the sheep whose wool you are wearing while also unpacking how the brand has become carbon negative. It’s a hell of a gimmick and a fun conversation piece on a sweater that (I can say from experience) is going to get a lot of comments.
One important thing about “green” fashion brands: No one will give a flying fuck how much you love the planet if the clothes don’t look cool. I don’t fully agree with it but… such is life. That’s why I’m such a Sheep Inc. cultist — the clothes look amazing and they wear amazing. As in, you look good in them. Plus with most of the operation centered overseas, you’re not likely to see someone rocking the same pink chessboard sweater this fall.
Taylor Swift made her first public appearance reportedly dating Kansas City Chiefs’ player Travis Kelce, by supporting him at a game a few days ago. Now, in case anyone out there was somehow waiting for Trump’s thoughts on their possible relationship, he shared it during a new interview.
“I wish the best for both of them,” he told The Daily Caller (via The Independent.) “I hope they enjoy their life, maybe together, maybe not — most likely not.”
Fans now hearing his reaction have some… reactions of their own.
“Desperately need this man to drop out of politics and become the next Wendy Williams,” one person wrote.
Desperately need this man to drop out of politics and become the next Wendy Williams https://t.co/XG21H9eq73
Swift obviously has been clear about her political stance, speaking out against Trump on several occasions and endorsing Biden in 2020. “We’re a democracy — at least, we’re supposed to be — where you’re allowed to disagree, dissent, debate,” Swift told The Guardian a few years ago. “I really think that he thinks this is an autocracy.”
Around the time that she started speaking out about her political beliefs, according to CNN, Trump previously responded in a 2018 interview with: “Let’s say that I like Taylor’s music about 25% less now, OK?”
if you would’ve told me in 2015-2016 that she would get even more famous than she was at the time, i would’ve laughed in your face https://t.co/o7YZELgyCA
Coldplay is not the only artist with concerns for the planet, as people like Dave Matthews and Billie Eilish have also made it a focal point of their touring efforts. But no one is making the messaging as central to the concert experience as Coldplay, tasking their fans to consider just how much entertainment can take a toll on our planet, and how possible it is for major artists to try to mitigate the effects.
It’s a message that goes beyond the recycled light-up wristbands that flashed a rainbows-worth of colors throughout the show. It also fits with Coldplay’s general arc as a band.
Since first coming to the public’s attention with their 2000 release Parachutes and that album’s breakout single “Yellow,” the band quickly ascended to the stadium level that they currently maintain. They are one of few in-their-prime artists that could have conceivably headlined Coachella in both 2003 and 2023 without some caveat of a reunion or nostalgia driving the booking.
Philip Cosores
While they were once seen by the most cynical as a more palatable version of Radiohead, the truth is that commercial appeal has long eclipsed that comparison manifold times, while still delivering songs that should become setlist staples (“Higher Power,” “My Universe”) on even their most recent offering, 2021’s Music Of The Spheres. In the marathon that is the music industry, they have successfully navigated and remained relevant in the worlds of CDs, MP3s, and, now, streaming, where they are in the top 20 of all-time artists on Spotify.
So, how does Coldplay do it? It’s not just through their library of massive, stadium-worthy hits — though that helps. Chris Martin, Jonny Buckland, Guy Berryman, and Will Champion offer up an earnestness that had them labeled as corny early in their career, but now strikes are deeply endearing. In many ways, they let the music world come to them without drastically changing who they are or what they stand for. Plus, they are particularly savvy to embrace current trends and let their music evolve with the times.
Philip Cosores
This was on full display in San Diego. One crucial element of their maintained relevance is in their global appeal. Simply travel and see a show in Latin America or Europe and you’ll find that their brand of big emotions and big communal moments has long resonated with those audiences. Thus, the stadium floor was full of flags from the home countries of their fans, which Martin was sure to call out during his “read the fans’ signs” portion of the evening. From the stage, Martin at various times spoke and sang in English, Spanish (a smart move considering the amount of Coldplay fans who drove across the border for the concert), sign language, and Korean, feeling very of the moment as K-pop, Latin music, and other global sounds break down sonic borders.
Fans were also reminded of how Coldplay has long been at the center of popular music’s narrative. “Hymn For The Weekend” was performed without the need to underscore that Beyoncé supplied backing vocals to the song, but “My Universe” did offer BTS in video-display format for their portion of that hit. “Something Just Like This,” which Coldplay released with The Chainsmokers, felt like a snapshot of a moment in time when EDM collaborations were the backbone of pop. And “A Sky Full Of Stars,” notably produced by Avicii among others, gave the night its biggest cathartic moment, as Martin stopped the song just before its climax to ask the audience to put away their phones for one song and feel the power of being together with tens of thousands of people. Everyone obliged and was rewarded with an unforgettable four minutes that culminated in a stunning fireworks display.
Philip Cosores
A Coldplay concert can feel like they are playing every trick in the book: confetti, giant beach balls, pyro, the aforementioned wristbands, multiple satellite stages, and lasers. There were even a few tricks that weren’t in any book, including the band wearing Masked Singer-esque alien costumes for multiple numbers and Martin performing with Angel Moon the muppet, a Henson creature that I’m only just becoming aware of and have many questions about.
With this ‘Music Of The Spheres’ Tour, there is no wasted energy, with every bit of the set time used to create memories and impact the audience. That is sustainability personified, and evidence that more than 20 years into their career, Coldplay’s cultural impact seeks to be the opposite of their environmental one. And if their concerns for our planet can be adopted as the norm for touring by more artists of their stature, Coldplay’s status as one of the essential artists of our time will take on greater meaning than just the legacy of their music.
Check out some exclusive photos of Coldplay’s ‘Music Of The Spheres’ Tour from San Diego’s Snapdragon Stadium.
Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined … yeah, we’re talkin’ a lot of ice.
But what if it was all just … gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?
If all of earth’s land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous.
And that’s putting it lightly.
This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn’t great.
Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.
In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.
Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.
South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.
And in the U.S., we’d watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.
Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic’s estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth’s land ice melted into our oceans.
There’s even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.
Although … looking at these maps, it’s hard to imagine “for better” is a likely outcome for many of us.
Much of America’s most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you’ll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.
Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)
Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)
And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)
I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps above are real possibilities.
How? Climate change.
As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.
A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don’t change our ways, there’s definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.
Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.
“This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come,” said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.
If we want to stop this from happening,” she says, “we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground.”
The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.
92-year-old Norma had a strange and heartbreaking routine.
Every night around 5:30 p.m., she stood up and told the staff at her Ohio nursing home that she needed to leave. When they asked why, she said she needed to go home to take care of her mother. Her mom, of course, had long since passed away.
Behavior like Norma’s is quite common for older folks suffering from Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. Walter, another man in the same assisted living facility, demanded breakfast from the staff every night around 7:30.
Jean Makesh, CEO of Lantern assisted living facilities, says he meets folks with stories like these every day. It’s their stories that inspired him to make some changes at Lantern.
“I thought I knew a lot about elderly care. The more and more time I was spending with my clients, that’s when I realized, ‘Oh my god, I have no clue.'”
Confusion is common in Alzheimer’s patients, but Makesh knew there had to be some way to minimize these conflicts.
A big believer in the idea that our environment has an enormous effect on us, he started thinking big — and way outside the box.
“What if we design an environment that looks like outside?” he said. “What if I can have a sunrise and sunset inside the building? What if I’m able to have the moon and stars come out? What if I build a unit that takes residents back to the ’30s and ’40s?”
And that was just the beginning. He also researched sound therapy. And aromatherapy. And carpet that looked like grass. No idea was off-limits.
What he came up with was a truly unique memory-care facility. And after testing the concept in Lantern’s Madison, Ohio, facility, Makesh is opening two new locations this year.
Instead of rooms or units, each resident gets a “home” on a quiet little indoor street reminiscent of the neighborhoods many of them grew up in.
Instead of a boring panel ceiling, residents look up and see a digital sky, which grows dimmer late in the day to help keep their biological clocks in tune.
Throughout the day, nature sounds and fresh aromas like peppermint or citrus are piped in.
Some studies have shown that this kind of aromatherapy may indeed have some merits for improving cognitive functioning in Alzheimer’s patients.
For Makesh, this isn’t just about making patients comfortable, though. He wants to change how we think about the endgame of severe dementia.
Makesh said one of the frustrating shortcomings of most nursing facilities is that they create conflicts with unnatural environments and schedules, and they try to solve them by throwing antipsychotic and anti-anxiety medications at patients. In other words, when someone has severe dementia, we often give up on them. From there, they stop getting the engagement their brain needs to thrive.
Of course, we’re a long way from a cure for Alzheimer’s.
But Makesh’s project shows that when we think strategically about altering the environment and focus on helping people relearn essential self-care and hygiene skills, the near-impossible becomes possible.
“In five years, we’re going to [be able to] rehabilitate our clients where they can live independently in our environment,” he said. “In 10 years, we’re going to be able to send them back home.”
He knows it’s a lofty goal. And whether he’ll meet it remains to be seen. But in the meantime, he’s proud to own one of the few places that offers something pretty rare in cases of severe dementia: hope.
The high percentage of wealth concentrated in a tiny fraction of hands in America is a big concern for many people. The top 1 percent of wealthiest Americans owned 32.3% of the nation’s total wealth at the end of 2021, while the share of wealth held by the bottom 90% was just 30.2%.
It can be hard to comprehend how much money billionaires have when discussing tycoons such as Warren Buffett, Elon Musk, or Jeff Bezos. So, finance educator Humphrey Yang created a TikTok video to give people a good idea of how much money Jeff Bezos has.
In his first video, he provided some perspective on how large a billion is by juxtaposing one grain of rice ($100,000) with 10,000 grains of rice ($1 billion). The bonkers part of the experiment is that he counted out the 10,000 grains by hand, which took him over 12 hours.
This took me hours don’t let it flop #billion #money #personalfinance #rice #xyzbca
To take things a step further and show how much money Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has, he went to Target and bought a digital food scale, then hit up Costco to purchase some large restaurant-size bags of rice. After measuring out $122 billion, it reached 58 pounds of rice.
Rice. Part 2: Jeff Bezos net worth. #rice #billion #billions #amazon #jeffbezos #money #personalfinance #xyzcba
One must note that this video was created in February of 2022, and since then, Bezos’ wealth has grown to over $150 billion.
The video was eye-opening for a lot of Yang’s followers. “This visualization really puts everything into perspective. Great job!” M_o_n_t_a_n_a wrote. “How do people watch this and not go blind with rage at the inequity of this situation?” Sarah Robinson added. “Imagine owning just one grain of rice. Can’t relate,” LeeExplored added.
Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.
From an early age, we’re led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.
It can be a little stressful.
But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.
Nope, it’s not hippie nonsense. It’s science.
Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like “The child is good at understanding other’s feelings” on a handy “Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well” scale.
The research team used these responses to give each kid a “social competency score,” which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.
Here’s what they found.
1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.
Back To School GIF by IFC – Find & Share on GIPHY
Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.
But what that test score doesn’t tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.
The researchers behind this project wrote, “Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning.”
That’s a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.
2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.
Adam Sandler Pee GIF – Find & Share on GIPHY
We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That’s why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.
What they found probably isn’t too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.
What’s surprising is just how strong the correlation was.
An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.
The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.
The study couldn’t say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn’t help.
3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it’s never too late to change.
The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating “malleable,” or changeable.
Let’s face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That’s something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.
And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you’re able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.
So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?
But what does it all mean?
This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just “good” or “very good” at a given trait.
Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it’s a great “target for prevention or intervention efforts.”
The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they’re feeling inside.
Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.
Since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, the airline industry has been unpredictable, to say the least. From the glut of canceled flights over the past year to changing travel restrictions, travelers haven’t felt too confident flying the friendly skies.
Airline prices rose 22 percent from March 2022 to March 2023, so travelers have to be savvy to get the best deal. The good news is that Expedia says that ticket prices should be cheaper in 2024, although only by around 3 percent.
Cheapest day to fly
According to the report, the cheapest day to depart on your flight has changed recently. It used to be that the cheapest day to get a flight would be Tuesday or Wednesday, in the middle of the week. This is because it’s hard for many folks to get away mid-week because of work considerations. Also, companies that send their employees on trips often do so on weekends these days.
So these days, the cheapest day to fly out has been moved up to Thursday, which isn’t too bad for people looking for a weekend getaway. However, you won’t want to return on Sunday, because that is the most expensive day to fly. Travelers who book their flights on a Thursday save around 16 percent over booking on Sunday.
If you’re looking to take a quick trip to Vegas, it might be best to do a Thursday to Monday trip.
Cheapest day to buy your plane tickets
Sunday may be the most expensive day to depart on your dream vacation, but when buying your plane tickets, it is the least expensive day. The most expensive day to book a flight is on Friday. Travelers who book on a Sunday instead of a Friday can save around 8 percent on their flights.
When to book a flight for the best deal
According to Expedia, the best time to book a domestic flight is 28 days before departure. Travelers who booked 28 days before departure saved 24 percent on average compared to those who waited until the last minute.
The best time to book an international flight is farther out. Expedia says the best time to book international travel is 60 days before departure and no earlier than four months out. Travelers who booked 60 days out saved around 10 percent compared to those who booked further out, as average ticket prices peaked around four months from departure.
If you’re looking to book a big international vacation in 2024, Europe and North America are still hotspots. A recent poll published in The New York Post found that the top 5 places that people want to travel to are Mexico, Canada, and France, which are all tied for first place at 42 percent, followed by Spain (40%), Italy (32%) and Greece (21%).
According to Expedia, the most popular tourist destinations in the United States are New York, New York, Los Angeles, California, and Las Vegas, Nevada.
I grew up black in a very white neighborhood in a very white city in a very white state.
As such, I am a lot of people’s only black friend.
Being the only black friend is a gift and a curse. I am black and I love having friends. But I am also, at any given moment, expected to be a translator, an ambassador, a history teacher, and/or a walking, talking invitation into “I am not racist” territory. It’s a lot to handle. See what I mean about that curse?
So when I saw the animated short-film “Your Black Friend,” I felt so seen. Clearly, I am not alone.
The film, which was written, designed, and narrated by Ben Passmore and is based on his mini-comic of the same name, is a brilliant, refreshing way to examine whiteness and racism. The comic and animated short are an open-letter from “your black friend” to you, their well-meaning white friend, about bias, alienation, and what it means to be a good ally and friend.
It’s funny, honest, and heartbreaking in equal measure. And speaking from personal experience, it captures the experience of being a black friend to white people pretty much perfectly.
So if you’re a “woke” friend and ally, here are some things your black friend wants you to know.
1. You’re going to have to get uncomfortable.
It could be something as obvious and upsetting as a racist joke. Or something as “benign” as your aunt suggesting you cross the street when she sees a group of black kids walking by. But either way, if you want to be a good friend and a real ally, you’re going to have to speak up. You’re going to have to have those tough conversations with people you care about.
It’s not easy to confront strangers or people you love, but if you don’t do it, you are part of the problem. Sitting out isn’t an option. No one said being an ally is easy.
2. “Your black friend would like to say something to the racist lady, but doesn’t want to appear to be that ‘angry black man.'”
“He knows this type of person expects that from him, and he will lose before he begins,” Passmore says.
Black people can’t always react or respond the way we want to. When I am followed in a department store, pulled over for no reason, or stared at while picking up dinner at the fancy grocery store, I can’t stop what I’m doing and yell, “YES, I AM BLACK. NO, I AM NOT A CRIMINAL YOU SMALL-MINDED, BIASED ASSHOLES.” Trust me, I want to. But especially when police are involved, I have to be calm, respectful, and obedient.
That’s where you come in. You, white friend, need to speak up and say something when I can’t. If you are not at risk, nor considered a threat, you have a certain amount of privilege in these situations. Use it to demand answers, speak to supervisors, or if things really get dicey, pull out your phone and hit record.
3. We are constantly monitoring our surroundings and adjusting our clothes, hair, speed, and speech to maintain white comfort.
When I am in a parking garage and walking behind a white woman, I intentionally cough or walk a little louder so she turns and notices me.
Why? Because when I don’t, that same white woman will often clutch her purse and occasionally let out an audible gasp as I pass her. This is something my white friends likely don’t realize I have to do. Some of them may even be the pearl-clutchers in the parking lot.
But to maintain white comfort and to avoid having the cops called on us, we often have to tamp down clothes, modify our speech and volume, even do our hair differently. We have to have “the talk” with our kids about how the world sees them, and how act in order to make sure they come home alive.
No, it’s not fair. No, we don’t like it. But so long as this country and its institutions are built on a solid foundation of white supremacy, it’s a grim reality. You need to know that, and take it up with your fellow white people about how to dismantle it.
4. “Your black friend wishes you’d play more than Beyoncé. There are more black performers than Beyoncé.”
“Lemonade” was awesome. There is no denying it. And yes, I love seeing her iconic looks on Instagram too. But there is more to black music and black art than Beyoncé. Dip a toe outside your comfort zone and try new new artists and genres you may not be familiar with. Go listen, see it, and experience it for yourself.
And while we’re here, you can’t say the n-word when you sing along. Nope. You just can’t.
5. Speaking of which, performative blackness is really uncomfortable.
When you wear that braided wig on Halloween, or use your “blaccent” when you’re around me or other black people, it hurts. It’s not cute or charming, and it definitely doesn’t make you seem cool.
Our culture and heritage are not costumes you can slide on and off at your convenience. We don’t get to be black only when it suits us. Neither do you.
6. “Your black friend feels like a man without a country.”
Having white friends and seeming to “fit in” with the majority can feel really alienating. You can feel too “white” for black people, and too “black” for white people when all you want to do is find people to eat pizza with. As Passmore wrote, “He is lost in this contradiction, and held responsible for it.”
7. We would love it if we could stop talking about our anxiety and frustrations regarding racism. But right now, that’s impossible.
We can’t be expected to dismantle white supremacy on our own.
Our white friends and allies need to step up and gather their people. Have the tough conversations. Speak up when you see racism, discrimination, and microaggressions. The time to talk about it is done. Be about it, or find yourself a new black friend.
This article was originally published on January 30, 2018.
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