Thanks to his work on the gripping FX series, The Old Man, iconic screen actor Jeff Bridges joined this year’s Hollywood Reporter‘s Emmy roundtable, where he shared breathing exercises and commiserated with his colleagues about awkward fan interactions.
After Pedro Pascal revealed that Game of Thrones fans used to make a pretty wild (and in some cases, infectious) request for selfies after his character on the hit HBO series met a gruesome demise, Bridges revealed the one role that still follows him to this day: The Big Lebowski. And then he and Succession star Kieran Culkin had a little conversation about, well, that.
JEFF BRIDGES I get The Dude. People just dig The Big Lebowski, it’s such a good movie.
CULKIN Do people shout quotes at you? “This is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the a**.”
BRIDGES Oh yeah, the quotes.
Of course, right after Bridges revealed he still gets pelted with quotes, Kieran Culkin couldn’t help but share his favorite The Big Lebowski line. Like Bridges said, it’s such a good movie!
“The one I use a lot, because there’s never a context for it, is ‘Nice marmot,’” Culkin revealed. “Whenever there’s a lull in the conversation, I’ll just, like, point at someone’s plant and go, ‘Nice marmot.’”
The Succession star would drop the marmot line a few more times during the roundtable before moving on to “daddy parts.” (Yup, you read that.)
Finding the best values in the bourbon industry is getting harder and harder thanks to just too many bottles on the shelves these days. There’s a true plethora of options and, truth, they’re mostly very mid — even in the $50-$100 range. It’s a confusing prospect if you want to find a really good whiskey that also doesn’t cost a fortune. I want to help you avoid wasting your money, but — more importantly — I want to help avoid drinking mid or shitty bourbon.
Easy to find — if you can’t find it, then price, taste, and value don’t really mean much.
Great price — I’ve kept these bottles mostly under $50 per bottle.
Amazing taste — taste is the most important thing every time.
Uniqueness — If the whiskey isn’t unique, then what are we doing here?
Easy to find, price, taste, uniqueness — it’s a good set of parameters to judge a whiskey by. With that in mind, I collected eight bourbons from my shelves and had my wife shuffle and pour them for a blind tasting. Our lineup for today is the following bottles:
Russell’s Reserve Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey 10 Years Old
Evan Williams Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Green River Kentucky Straight Wheated Bourbon Sour Mash Whiskey
Eagle Rare Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Aged 10 Years
Bardstown Bourbon Company Origin Series Bottled-In-Bond Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
George Dickel Bottled in Bond Tennessee Whisky Fall 2008 Aged 13 Years
As for the ranking, I’m looking squarely at the taste since these are all already a great value in general. What tastes best? What has the most depth? What bottles do I actually want to go back to? These are all slices of the tasty pie that combine to make a bourbon worth your time and money. Let’s dive in!
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months
Nose: This really is a classic bourbon nose with clear notes of spiced cherry cola, lush vanilla, salted caramel, and soft oak next to almost botanical winter spices.
Palate: The taste delivers with more lush vanilla next to spice barks, soft cedar, and deeply dark and red fruit with a whisper of smudged sweet sage.
Finish: The end dives into a dark spiced cherry vibe next to soft and luxurious vanilla, tempered oak, and a mild sense of just “bourbon.”
Initial Thoughts:
This has a solid beginning, middle, and end with a spiced sweetness that felt very classic and, well, tasty. It didn’t jump out at me, but kind of didn’t need to.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a welcoming aroma of marzipan, blackberry, toffee, and fresh honey next to a real sense of pitchy, dry firewood.
Palate: The taste drills down on those notes as the sweet marzipan becomes more choco-hazelnut, the berries become increasingly dried and apple-y, the toffee becomes almost burnt, and the wood softens to a cedar bark.
Finish: A rich spicy and chewy tobacco arrives late as the vanilla gets super creamy and the fruit and honey combine on the slow fade.
Initial Thoughts:
This has a really solid nose and body but a softer finish. It didn’t wash out or fade too quickly. It just sort of melted away in the end, leaving you with a nice, classic bourbon vibe.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: There’s a lot going on with cinnamon butter and spicy stewed apples, maple syrup, Christmas cakes full of nuts and dried fruit, and a hint of savory herbs (maybe some smudging sage) all pinging through your nose.
Palate: The palate brings about smooth and creamy vanilla cream soda cut with dark cherry with plenty of buttery toffee, sourdough crust, more Christmas spice, cedar bark, and a hint of dried roses and pipe tobacco.
Finish: The finish lasts pretty long and leans into the dark and stewed fruits with plenty of woody spice and chewy fresh pipe tobacco with a creamy vanilla underbelly.
Initial Thoughts:
This was a pretty damn good and very deep bourbon. It 100% felt like a bourbon-y bourbon and very much like a crowd-pleaser that actually delivers something a little extra.
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This has a really nice nose full of woody cherry, salted caramel with a tart apple edge, and a soft leatheriness.
Palate: The palate feels and tastes “classic” with notes of wintry spices (eggnog especially) with a lush creaminess supported by soft vanilla, a hint of orange zest, and plenty of spicy cherry tobacco.
Finish: The end is supple with a hint of tart apple tobacco with a light caramel candy finish.
Initial Thoughts:
This is pretty good but didn’t quite pop like the last pour. Still, it’s clearly built classic bourbon but kind of died on the finish (that’s me being insanely nit-picky).
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: This pops on the nose with rich caramel next to soft roasted peach and apricot, cinnamon bark and nutmeg with a creamy vibe, and a hint of Cream of Wheat cut with maple syrup.
Palate: Toffee drives the palate toward Nutella and honey over buttermilk biscuits with an apple/pear tobacco aura that leads to a soft orange.
Finish: The end is rich and full of stewed fruits — peach, pear, orange, raisins — and a mild sense of oaky spice and a mild graininess.
Initial Thoughts:
This is a nice bourbon with a crafty vibe (sweet grains) that gives way to classic bourbon tones. It was a little more well-rounded than the last pour but not an “OMG” bourbon by any stretch.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Old leather boots, burnt orange rinds, oily sage, old oak staves, and buttery toffee round out the nose.
Palate: Marzipan covered in dark chocolate opens the palate as floral honey and ripe cherry lead to a winter cake vibe full of raisins, dark spices, and toffee sauce.
Finish: The end has a balance of all things winter treats as the marzipan returns and the winter spice amp up alongside a hint of spicy cherry tobacco and old cedar.
Initial Thoughts:
This is a really good bourbon. The depth is real and you go on a journey with this one.
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose draws you in with a sense of orange Jolly Ranchers, powdered cacao, and stewed peaches with classic bourbon vanilla and an oaky vibe.
Palate: The palate is a mix of apricot jam, pear cores, and red berries with a mix of spiced orange candy tobacco wrapped around dry wicker and cedar bark.
Finish: The end leans into the sweet and spiced orange while the tobacco slowly fades through sweet caramel and vanilla buttercream toward a silky finish.
Initial Thoughts:
This is fun, fresh, and deep. The nose really drew me in with a hint of nostalgia next to classic notes. By the end, I felt like I was drinking a bourbon lover’s bourbon with real pizzazz.
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Sour cherries, maple syrup, and pecan waffles mingle with dried apple chips, old leather boots, and winter spice with a hint of vanilla wafers on the nose.
Palate: The taste leans toward spicy apple pie filling with walnuts, plenty of cinnamon, and some raisins before malted vanilla milkshakes, blueberry cotton candy, and dark chocolate milk arrives on the mid-palate and lead toward a moist oatmeal cookie dipped in salted caramel.
Finish: The end has a dry woody spiciness with star anise, cinnamon, and allspice mingling with marzipan and cherry/cinnamon tobacco.
Initial Thoughts:
This is so clearly Tennessee whiskey. Still, it’s goddamn delicious. I can’t decide if the Tennessee-ness of it all holds it back or puts it over the top.
Part 2 — The Value Bourbon Ranking
Zach Johnston
8. Evan Williams Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey — Taste 4
This is Heaven Hill’s hand-selected single barrel Evan Williams expression. The whiskey is from a single barrel, labeled with its distillation year, proofed just above 86, and bottled as is.
Bottom Line:
This was the thinnest pour on the list, but still a great classic bourbon. That’s how good these pours are. That said, this really felt like it’d shine as a foundation of a really good cocktail more than a sipper.
7. Green River Kentucky Straight Wheated Bourbon Sour Mash Whiskey — Taste 5
This new release from Bardstown Bourbon Company’s Green River distillery is a wheated classic. The whiskey in the bottle is made from a mash bill (recipe) of 70% Kentucky-grown corn, 21% wheat, and 9% malted 6-Row barley. That whiskey then spends four to six years mellowing before batching, proofing, and bottling as-is.
Bottom Line:
This had an interesting balance of craft and classic. That said, the craftiness was a tad distracting to the overall vibe of this one, leading me to think I kind of want to hide that aspect in a cocktail. “Value” should never be about “hiding” anything in a cocktail.
6. Russell’s Reserve Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey 10 Years Old — Taste 1
This small-batch expression is hand-selected by both Jimmy and Eddie Russell (the father and son team behind all of Wild Turkey’s line). The duo picks out 10-year-old barrels that hit just the right spot in both flavor and texture then small-batch them into this tasty bourbon.
Bottom Line:
This was another that I really enjoyed but is clearly made for mixing up cocktails. It was a tad thin and really just a basic but really good bourbon. Ah hey, sometimes simple and straightforward is the best value of all. Still, I was still looking for that “pop” that rises above and this wasn’t it.
This expression takes standard Woodford Bourbon and gives it a finishing touch. The bourbon is blended and moved into new barrels that have been double-toasted but only lightly charred. The juice spends a final nine months resting in those barrels before proofing and bottling.
Bottom Line:
This is getting into the really good stuff. This rules on the palate with a great textural experience. Again, it didn’t quite land the finish (it wasn’t thin, per se, but did leave me wanting a smidge more). Still, this is a pretty fine pour of classic-tasting bourbon.
4. George Dickel Bottled in Bond Tennessee Whisky Fall 2008 Aged 13 Years — Taste 8
Master Distiller Nicole Austin has been killing it with these bottled-in-bond releases from George Dickel. This release is a whiskey that was warehoused in the fall of 2008. 13 years later, the whiskey was bottled at 100 proof (as per the bottled-in-bond law) and left to rest. Last fall, new releases of that Tennessee whiskey were sent out to much acclaim.
Bottom Line:
This is really good whiskey. If you’re looking for a classic bourbon, then look elsewhere. Still, the depth and balance of unique flavors really shine in this pour and you cannot beat the value here for such an old whiskey at such a great price. So if you are looking for a little funkier bourbon with a deep profile, then this should 100% be on your shelf.
This might be one of the most beloved (and still accessible) bottles from Buffalo Trace. This whiskey is made from their very low rye mash bill. The hot juice is then matured for at least 10 years in various parts of the warehouse. The final mix comes down to barrels that hit just the right notes to make them “Eagle Rare.” Finally, this one is proofed down to a fairly low 90 proof.
Bottom Line:
This had pop but felt classic more than iconic. It was simply a very good bourbon with superb depth … that I couldn’t wait to make a cocktail with.
This is classic (sourced) Bulleit Bourbon that’s aged up to 10 years before it’s blended and bottled. The barrels are hand-selected to really amplify those classic “Bulleit” flavors that make this brand so damn accessible (and beloved) in the first place.
Bottom Line:
I’m shocked I chose this over Eagle Rare or even Woodford. Shocked.
I’m not the biggest fan of Bulleit — I often find it kinda basic. But this really popped for me today. It’s classic, sure, but goes so much deeper while staying understandable and just lush. It really stood out as a nice sipper with serious bourbon-y depth.
1. Bardstown Bourbon Company Origin Series Bottled-In-Bond Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey — Taste 7
This brand-new release from Bardstown Bourbon Company is 100% their own whiskey. The juice is made from a wheated bourbon mash bill — 68% corn, 20% wheat, and 12% malted barley — down in Bardstown, Kentucky. The whiskey spends about six years mellowing before it’s just kissed with local water and bottled at 100 proof.
Bottom Line:
I’m also kind of shocked this won out. Pretty easily I might add. The depth here started out with this nostalgic vibe that turned into a truly deep and rewarding bourbon experience with a lot of extra nuance and fun. This is a great pour for amazing cocktails or easy everyday sipping.
Part 3 — Final Thoughts on Value Bourbons
Zach Johnston
Honestly, every bourbon on this list is a great value. I don’t even care if you think that that is a cop-out. They simply are. The best-tasting ones are in the top five of the ranking, sure, but they all offer something worthwhile.
That said, you can find Bulleit 10 everywhere and it’s under $50. So all things considered, that’s probably the best overall value bourbon (if you add more weight to being easy to find). Still, click that price link for the Bardstown Bourbon Company Bottled In Bond, that’s the true winner today — maybe you can get some!
Nicks shared a touching essay on social media today, titled “The Lost Futures Of Uvalde.” In it, she reflects on the passions and dreams she had as a child. The piece concludes, “As we ponder the one-wear anniversary of Uvalde, and the myriad of shootings that have happened since that fateful day, I can’t help but ask myself, what if I had been shot and killed by a man with a gun while in my ballet class in the third grade? And I can’t help but think of all those little lost futures… And so, in closing, my arms go around each one of those little hearts like a ring of angels that will always be missing. I will never be able to let this go… If anything, I will do all I can to keep this story alive.”
My family moved to El Paso Texas when I was in the third grade. I started a new school and one of the classes they offered was ballet. After only a week I came home and told my mom, ‘I’m going to be a prima ballerina.’
She said, ‘I believe you.’
I said, ‘I know.’ And I danced away. That was the beginning. The first page of the greatest love story of my life, my love for dance and music.
Another year, another page, and I hear my grandfather in the driveway. He showed up with a truck load of 45’s and we sat on the floor in my room listening to them all and singing along. He said, ‘You’re a natural harmony singer, Stephanie. That’s a very special thing you can do.’
I ran to my mom and said, ‘I’m going to be a country singer and Granddad thinks I can do it.’
And my mother said, ‘What about ballet?’
I told her, ‘I’ll bring it with me. I’ll dance on stage.’
She said, ‘I believe you.’ And I smiled and danced away.
The 5th grade brought car radios playing The Shirelles, Martha and the Vandellas, The Crystals, The Chantelles, and the Shangri-Las. Harmonies sung at the top of my lungs in the backseat of my parents’ car. My dreams never changed; they were growing faster than I was. I couldn’t contain it. I sang to make room for the beat of my own heart. I danced to keep up with the spinning of my mind.
I wore my first top hat on stage in a sixth-grade talent show with a black skirt and vest and black capezio tap shoes. (Sound familiar) With a brush and ball change, I tap danced to Buddy Holly’s ‘Everyday.’
Then my family moved to California and by the time I was fifteen that love for music was unbreakable. My parents bought me a Goya guitar and after taking one month of guitar lessons and learning five chords I finally wrote my first song. I played it for mom and dad and told them I was gonna be a singer-songwriter. They said, ‘We believe you, we always did, but first you need to go to college.’ And I did, for almost 5 years. I met a boy and eventually we started making music together. One day we got a call from a band and went to a dinner that changed our lives.
When I look back, it all happened so fast. I was just a ten-year-old in El Paso, Texas deciding what to do with the rest of my life. I knew my destiny so many pages ago. I still write on that guitar. I still feel the ballet in every move. I got to grow up and join Fleetwood Mac. I got to write music for the world for 50 years, that I hope has touched people’s hearts.
I got to grow up and become Stevie Nicks.
As we ponder the one-wear anniversary of Uvalde, and the myriad of shootings that have happened since that fateful day, I can’t help but ask myself, what if I had been shot and killed by a man with a gun while in my ballet class in the third grade? And I can’t help but think of all those little lost futures…
And so, in closing, my arms go around each one of those little hearts like a ring of angels that will always be missing. I will never be able to let this go…
If anything, I will do all I can to keep this story alive.”
“She left a pink present with a pink bow, from Barbie to Ken, every day while we were filming,” Gosling told Vogue. “They were all beach-related. Like puka shells, or a sign that says ‘Pray for surf.’ Because Ken’s job is just beach. I’ve never quite figured out what that means. But I felt like she was trying to help Ken understand, through these gifts that she was giving.”
Method acting is obnoxious 99 percent of the time, but this is the one percent where it’s acceptable. Unless one of the gifts was Robbie unloading the rodent on Gosling. She’s everything, he’s just a guy with a puka shell necklace and a rodent (I went to school with five of those guys; none of them looked like Ryan Gosling).
Barbie, which also stars Issa Rae, Will Ferrell, Michael Cera, Simu Liu, and Kate McKinnon and features a song from Dua Lipa on the soundtrack, comes out on July 21st.
Whoopi Goldberg did not hold back on the recent rash of right-wing “snowflakes” who have been threatening Target employees and knocking over displays in protest of the retailers Pride merchandise. The situation got so bad that Target relented and removed Pride products that “that have been at the center of the most significant confrontational behavior,” namely, a transgender swimsuit for adults that conservatives falsely claimed was made for children.
Whoopi was not pleased. During Wednesday morning’s episode of The View, she tore into the right-wing “snowflakes” after noting that she’s “all for protecting” Target employees and understands the retailer’s position.
“I’m sick of people moving my desires because their desires are not being met in some way. I’m sick of people telling me I can’t go to a drag show,” Goldberg proclaimed as the crowd roared. “I’m sick of people telling me that my friends are different because you don’t understand them. I’m sick of it. This is America. You’re supposed to be able to be whoever you are! You know, stop with all this stuff. You want to talk about snowflakes? Who are the snowflakes really?!”
As she brought her thoughts to a close, Whoopi did her best not to drop any swear words, but she was very close to getting there.
“The people scared of a flag, people who [are] scared of a drag brunch. It’s a brunch. It’s a brunch!” Goldberg said. “I’m getting really tired of this, and I’m trying not to say any bad words.”
Taylor Swift is completely engulfed in her record-breaking The Eras Tour. But, regardless of her hectic schedule on the road, that isn’t stopping the “Speak Now” singer isn’t going to let any more time pass before her beloved Swifties are treated to new music. The musician took to social media to announce another version of her tenth studio album, Midnights, is on the way.
Midnights (Til Dawn Edition), slated to drop on Friday (May 26), will feature appearances from Lana Del Rey and Ice Spice. In the announcement shared on Twitter, the Grammy Award-winning singer wrote, “So much to tell you. I’m a massive fan of this brilliant artist, and after getting to know her, I can confirm: she is THE ONE to watch. So delighted to say that Karma featuring the incredible Ice Spice will be out tomorrow night at midnight ET as a part of the new Midnights (Til Dawn Edition) deluxe album.”
Later in the post, Swift revealed fans attending her upcoming tour stops would get first dips, saying, “For those of you going to the East Rutherford shows – we will have a new special edition CD available ONLY on-site starting at 12:30 p.m. ET on Friday! This CD will have a never before heard Midnights vault track called ‘You’re Losing Me!’”
Um. SO much to tell you. I’m a massive fan of this brilliant artist and after getting to know her I can confirm: she is THE ONE to watch. So delighted to say that Karma Featuring the incredible @icespicee_ will be out TOMORROW night at MIDNIGHT ET as a part of the new Midnights… pic.twitter.com/OaRrHBWTUw
We all know that divorce is a painful process. It can disrupt families, be a huge financial burden and cause emotional turmoil in a myriad of ways. It’s the second largest life stressor, right after the death of a spouse, and has its own similar stages of grief that last…well, however long they have to last. In her book “Divorce: Causes and Consequences,” psychologist K. Alison Clarke-Stewart says it can take up to four years to recover.
A woman named Sierra Gonsalves seems to think so, and her unique, lighthearted approach to her own divorce is currently going viral online.
Gonsalves shared in a TikTok how she had been “soft-launching” her divorce for months leading up to her separation. Normally people implement a soft launch at the beginning of a relationship to let folks know that someone new has come into the picture. Gonsalves decided to turn this concept on its head.
In the video, she revealed subtle hints she had been dropping—leaving her husband out of Instagram posts and stories, taking solo pictures (even on holidays), removing her profile picture that was from their wedding and setting her relationship status on Facebook to “private.” She even dropped some not-so-subtle hints like sprinkling divorce memes throughout her page.
“Am I a celebrity? No. Am I an influencer? No. Do my followers care? Probably not, but this was fun for me, and it helped me cope a little bit,” Gonsalves said.
She told Insider that she had been with her partner for six years, but had only been married 11 months before deciding to separate. Wanting to dissolve her own sense of shame around the situation, she hoped that making a game of it all would help, rather than holding onto a secret that was “eating her alive.”
“I feel like people try to hide divorces as much as they can,” Gonsalves said. “But, you can’t really hide it. People are going to notice that person is gone. I figured I might as well make it fun—If I get a laugh about it, then that’s good enough for me. If someone also wants to join in and laugh, that’s a bonus.”
Gonsalves was clearly onto something, because not only did her video get over 50,000 likes, but she got an overwhelming amount of positive support as well. Rather than the expected condolences, many even congratulated her divorce announcement. Quite a few even had their own similar experience.
“When I posted my Spotify Wrapped on IG I said ‘this song helped me get through my divorce’ in tiny letters and so many people were like WAIT WHAT😂” one person commented.
Another added, “Haha! I’ve been doing most of these things for months! I didn’t know it was called a soft launch!”
Look, maybe seeing separation as something fun is a bit too far-fetched for most folks. But by tipping the scales in the opposite direction, as with Gonsalves’ soft launch, or by adopting more amicable divorce practices, perhaps we can at least begin to view it as something a little less devastating.
As current divorce rates indicate, it’s still a fairly normal thing, so it would probably behoove us all to adopt a healthier mindset toward divorce. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we thought they would. Closing the chapter on major parts of our lives isn’t easy, but we have the agency to handle the transition in a way that personally feels healthy.
A common criticism gun rights activists levy toward gun legislation advocates is that many people who push for stricter gun laws don’t know a lot about guns themselves. That’s not wholly accurate—there are plenty of gun enthusiasts who support reasonable gun laws—but it’s true that many people who are horrified by our nation’s gun culture are not well-versed on the specifications of our nation’s 393 million guns.
Not every American is an active part of American “gun culture.” Some of us have never shot a firearm, for fun or otherwise. Some of us really are ignorant about guns themselves.
That can’t be said for anyone in the military, however. And it definitely can’t be said for a former Major General of the U.S. Army.
That’s why an explanation of the difference between an AR-15 and military-style firearms from retired Major General Paul Eaton has gone viral. Major General Eaton was the commander in charge of training Iraqi soldiers during Operation Iraqi Freedom, so he definitely knows what he’s talking about when it comes to weaponry.
He wrote:
“As the former Commanding General of the Infantry Center at Fort Benning and Chief of Infantry, I know a bit about weapons. Let me state unequivocally — For all intents and purposes, the AR-15 and rifles like it are weapons of war. A thread:
u201cThose opposed to assault weapon bans continue to play games with AR-15 semantics, pretending thereu2019s some meaningful differences between it and the M4 carbine that the military carries. There really arenu2019t. 2/u201d
— Major General (ret) Paul Eaton (@Major General (ret) Paul Eaton) 1654209731
Those opposed to assault weapon bans continue to play games with AR-15 semantics, pretending there’s some meaningful differences between it and the M4 carbine that the military carries. There really aren’t.
The military began a transition from the M16 to the M4, an improved M16, some years ago. The AR-15 is essentially the civilian version of the M16. The M4 is really close to the M16, and the AR-15.
So what’s the difference between the military’s M4 and the original AR-15? Barrel length and the ability to shoot three round bursts. M4s can shoot in three round bursts. AR-15s can only shoot a single shot.
But even now, you can buy AR-15s in variable barrel lengths with Weaver or Picatinny rails for better sights and aiming assists like lasers. Like the military, but w/o the bayonet.
But our troops usually use single shot, not burst fire. You’re able to fire a much more accurate (deadly) shot, that way. Note: you can buy our Advanced Combat Optical Gunsight on Amazon. So troops usually select the same fire option available on AR-15.
That is why the AR-15 is ACCURATELY CALLED a ‘weapon of war.’ It is a very deadly weapon with the same basic functionality that our troops use to kill the enemy. Don’t take the bait when anti-gun-safety folks argue about it. They know it’s true. Now you do too.”
Eaton is not the only former military leader who has spoken out in support of gun legislation. In 2019, a group of 13 influential retired military leaders wrote a letter to Congress, pushing it to pass the Bipartisan Background Check Act.
“Each of us has, at some point in our lives, made the choice to risk our lives for our fellow citizens and place ourselves in harm’s way,” they wrote. “We were trained, we were coached, and we were prepared for the dangers that we chose to face. This is not the case for most Americans, yet they continue to face danger on the sidewalk, in their homes, at school, and at work. It is in the same spirit that led us to serve in the armed forces that we ask you, our elected leaders, to help protect the American people from gun violence here at home. We urge you to support this legislation.”
Police leaders have also voiced strong support for gun legislation, which makes sense considering how much harder and more dangerous our free-for-all gun culture makes their jobs. The International Association of Chiefs of Police, the largest professional association of police leaders in the world, has a position paper that outlines the gun safety laws it supports, including firearm offender registration, waiting periods, closing the gun show loophole, banning semiautomatic assault weapons, armor-piercing ammunition, bulletproof body armor and more. The IACP states that these are “common sense policies that would assist in reducing gun violence, while upholding the second amendment.”
Yep, the largest police leader association supports banning semiautomatic assault weapons like the AR-15. Here’s what it has to say about that:
“First passed in 1994, the assault weapons ban required domestic gun manufacturers to stop production of semi-automatic assault weapons and ammunition magazines holding more than ten rounds except for military or police use. While the ban was in place, it was remarkably effective in reducing the number of crimes involving assault weapons. In the period of the ban, (1994-2004) the proportion of assault weapons traced to crimes fell by a dramatic 66 percent.”
If those who oppose gun legislation don’t want to listen to people who don’t know enough about guns to speak authoritatively on them, that’s fine. Perhaps they should listen to these military and police leaders who not only know guns inside and out, but who also have the firsthand experience on both sides of the barrel to speak authoritatively on what can help minimize America’s gun violence.
Kindergarten through 12th grade teachers and college professors have heard every excuse in the book. Whether it’s a third grader claiming their “dog ate my homework” or a college freshman claiming their grandmother died to get out of a test, they’ve heard it all a billion times.
A college professor once listed the top 21 excuses he’s heard from his students. Here are the top five:
5. “It’s the last week of the semester.”
4. “It’s St. Patrick’s Day or 4/20”
3. “Our other teacher held us back.”
2. “My timetable showed the class was canceled.”
1. “I’m taking a vacation.”
Yes, some students actually say they didn’t do their work because of a holiday predicated on drinking or getting stoned and others have the audacity to say, “Hey! I needed a vacation.” After spending week after week fielding excuses, there’s a good reason why most educators are skeptical when they hear one from their students.
But every once in a while, an excuse that seems way too improbable to be believed actually is true.
Reddit user u/minecraftplayer48 asked the teachers of Reddit to share the “best excuse for being late that turned out to be true” and the stories were all pretty great. But it wasn’t only teachers who chimed in; a lot of people shared stories from when they were students and had an excuse that was so crazy they didn’t think anyone would believe them.
Here are 17 of the best excuses for being late that were actually true.
1. Revenge of the torque wrench
“My auto teacher let me practice removing and adding the tires on his vehicle. The next morning it was about 20 minutes into first period and no sign of him. He comes running into the classroom out of breath and his hair is all messed up. He points at me and says ‘YOU!!!! What is a torque wrench used for???’ I respond with “I don’t know.” He says ‘ I know you don’t know!!!” Turns out one of his tires came off while driving down the highway.” — ethnicjello
2. Mom wanted to sleep in
“She had to take her sister to school and drive her mom to rehab. She was always late to class because her mom just wanted to sleep in. Problem was if the mom was late or did not go she would have violated her probation and gone to prison. I never marked her late. If she missed anything important she could come in at lunch or after school to make it up.” — RM156
3. “That was you?”
“Student here, I headed into school early to get some studying done in the library before my night class. I was one exit away when I was caught in a 3 car accident. Most of the expressway afterwards was gridlock with only one lane left open. I did eventually make it into my lab class 15 minutes late, with a few scrapes and bruises. My professors reaction was simply ‘Oh that was you!”” — AlienCowAbduction
4. “School bus blew up”
“I was one of about 20 kids who were late to school. We showed up at the school office as a group and when questioned why we were late, we said ‘The school bus blew up.’ They questioned ‘So the engine blew up?’ The kids ‘No, the whole bus, in flames. It blew up.’
“There was much conference between the teachers, all of them thinking we embellished the story. Next thing you know, one of the admin staff has the news website open, very obvious image of an entire bus on fire with a bunch of kids in our school uniform standing in front of it. Our late slip for class read ‘School bus blew up.'” — AusPB90
5. B.U.I.
“Told me he got pulled over by the cops for wobbly driving on his bike and they thought he was drunk. Turned out he was just dodging all the slugs on the street.” — Fortisvol
6. Chicken of death
“A guy in my college class missed class one day. The next day he came in with his eye covered up and medical paperwork in hand. Apparently he got pecked in the eye by a chicken.” — BrrToe
7. Chicken 2: The chickening
“When I was student teaching, I was late because there was bunch chickens in the middle of the road. They wouldn’t move at all. This is in the middle of a city of 200,000 people. Freaking chickens.
“I finally get to school and profusely apologize to my mentor teacher and I told her why I was late thinking it sounded ridiculous. She said, ‘yeah, those chickens are fucking assholes, they surrounded my car in the McDonalds parking lot last year. Don’t worry about it.” — Makenshine
8. Cracker Barrel conference
“Taught a group of seniors first period. It was towards the end of the year. I had a class of around 30 and only 5 were there when the bell rang. Halfway through class, the rest of them show up. They went out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and brought me some back. All was forgiven.” — SwansonsLoveChild
9. Beary late
“Bear on the backyard. No access gate. Animal control had to tranq it from the room and drag it through the house. Made the news. Got to retake the test I missed after sending her the news article.” — Vladtehwood
10. Present the flat
“We had an exam in my class and the teacher got a message from a student saying that he was going to be late because his car had a flat tire (the student was known to party), the teacher didn’t think it could be true, so as a joke the teacher asked him to bring the tire back. He brought the flat tire back in the middle of the exam. Needless to say, the professor didn’t expect that.” — Sapang
11. Moo
“A kid missed my first-period class one morning but was in school later that day. When I asked him why he hadn’t arrived in time for my course, he said his cow was birthing its calf that morning, so he’d picked being in the barn over English. Made sense to me. His essays weren’t going to win any ribbons at the county fair, but his calf could.” — Bobosbigsister
12. Abduction
“In high school a kid came late to history class. He was a joker so when someone asked him where he had been, he goes ‘I was kidnapped.’ Everyone laughed, until he goes ‘no really.’
“Turns out 2 guys kidnapped him and tossed him into the back of the minivan he was using for his morning paper route. They drove him around while they robbed something. I can’t remember what happens after. I think they just drove the van somewhere and got away.” — notinmybackyardcanad
13. Honesty is the best excuse
“Not a teacher, but a kid walked into my class one day and literally just said ‘Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to be here.’ He wasn’t wrong I suppose.” — Scally59
14. It actually was the dog
“A little off topic but in 8th grade, a friend of mine turned in their homework late because her dog literally ate her homework. She even brought a note from her parents.” — JoeyJoey2004
15. Is this a real excuse? Or is it fantasy?
“‘Sorry Bohemian Rhapsody came on just as I parked.’ — My art teacher when he was about 5:55 minutes late.” — Deeberber
16. “I took a shortcut”
“This happened to me as a pupil; a very quiet, unassuming kid in our class came in to German with about five minutes of the class left. We went to a Catholic school and the teachers were all quite strict and intimidating. Classes were usually silent, especially in junior school. When this boy came into class at the end of the lesson that day, the door flew inwards with such force that the teacher gave an audible gasp.
“It had been raining heavily outside, his hair was plastered to his forehead. His blazer was dripping and sodden. He had mud caked into his trousers up to his knees, and he was breathing heavily. The teacher exclaimed, ‘Brendan! What happened?’ We all stared up at him in shocked silence. This quiet, unassuming little boy let out a big sigh and just said, ‘I took a shortcut.’ And went straight to his seat.
“That line became iconic in our school for years afterward.” — lestat85
17. Pug lovers can attest
“Kid was late to school and had to miss a very important football game. The reason? His fat pug fell asleep on his phone. The pug’s fat rolls muffled his alarm.” — tip52
House fires are devastating for families. In a matter of minutes, you could lose all of your belongings and a place to live, or worse, you could lose loved ones. A family in Phoenix, Arizona, recently found themselves facing the reality of their own home in flames. Claudia Jimenez told CBS News that she woke up trapped in her burning apartment with her two daughters, with nothing to do but yell for help in the hopes that someone would hear her.
The mom’s screams were answered by Joe Hollins, a homeless man who was camping nearby with his wife. Hollins didn’t hesitate to try to find a way to help. With no way out and the fire department still nowhere on the scene, Jimenez had to trust the stranger who was standing below.
“He was right underneath and he was like ‘Yes, throw your daughters out, I’m going to catch them, I’m going to get them,'” Jimenez told CBS.
So the terrified mom did what any mom would’ve done to save her babies—she tossed them one at a time out the window. And just as he’d promised, Hollins caught them. Valerie, who is just a year old, was dropped to safety first, then 8-year-old Natalie made the two-story fall into Hollins’ arms. The family dogs were next out the window before it was time for Jimenez to make the jump.
After some coaxing, the mom made the leap, and Hollins again made the catch, saving everyone in the house. When everything was said and done, Hollins saved the entire family and the dogs. Soon after Jimenez jumped to safety, the fire department showed up to put out the blaze.
Multiple families lost their home that night, but thanks to Hollins, the Jimenez family didn’t lose their lives. In an effort to help Hollins after saving this family, a GiveSendGo was created and people can donate here. A GoFundMe was also created for the young mom and her daughters, and people who would like to help can do so by donating here.
If you ask the hero, he’s no hero at all. He told CBS News that anyone in his shoes would’ve done the same thing. Hollins was in the right place at the right time, and because of his willingness to help, he saved an entire family. You can watch the entire interview below.
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