Buzzy Lee (born Sasha Spielberg) has checked off several impressive boxes since her debut LP Spoiled Love arrived in 2021. She performed on NPR’s Tiny Desk, opened for Haim on tour, and featured on Denzel Curry’s Melt My Eyez, See Your Future album. And she’s back for Round 2.

On Friday, January 27, Spielberg released “Cinderblock” alongside a music video she co-directed with Christina Jobe. “Cinderblock” is the first single from Internal Affairs, her album due out on March 31 and described in a press release as “in many ways a part two” to Spoiled Love.

The video features Spielberg sitting in an all-white room with perfectly posed dogs, including a chihuahua in a sweater. The scene is intermittently interrupted by a screen recording at her browser history. She pristinely sings about the deteriorating impact of someone having control over her thoughts and feelings with the punchy hook proclaiming, “I’m no cinderblock / The second you blow / Is the second I crumble.”

“The song ‘Cinderblock’ describes my search for foundation in a time of distraction,” Spielberg said in a statement. “In this video, I want to achieve perfection: perfect video, with perfectly behaved dogs. Unable to achieve perfection (like in life), I distract myself with a seemingly productive task: clearing my browser history. This video may be my most vulnerable yet, as you’re about to see my real search history. There are like, ten ‘Do I have OCD’ quizzes in there.”

Watch the “Cinderblock” video above.

Internal Affairs is out 03/31 via Future Classic. Pre-order it here.

Kali Uchis is set to hit the road this spring, with a handful of dates across North America in support of her upcoming album, Red Moon In Venus.

As for her opening act, Uchis is bringing Raye along for the ride. Fans might recognize the rising pop star for her recent hit “Escapism,” which went viral on social media. Raye will release her new album, My 21st Century Blues, next week.

Tickets for the shows began yesterday and are currently available.

Continue scrolling for Kali Uchis’ complete list of tour dates below.

04/16 — Indio, CA @ Coachella
04/23 — Indio, CA @ Coachella
04/25 — Austin, TX @ Moody Amphitheater at Waterloo Park
04/26 — Houston, TX @ 713 Music Hall
04/27 — Irving, TX @ The Pavilion at Toyota Music Factory
04/30 — Miami, FL @ FPL Solar Amphitheater at Bayfront Park
05/01 — Orlando, FL @ Hard Rock Live Orlando
05/02 — Atlanta, GA @ Coca-Cola Roxy
05/04 — New York, NY @ Radio City Music Hall
05/07 — Philadelphia, PA @ The Met Philadelphia
05/09 — Washington, D.C. @ The Anthem
05/10 — Boston, MA @ MGM Music Hall at Fenway
05/12 — Toronto, ON @ Coca-Cola Coliseum
05/14 — Detroit, MI @ The Fillmore
05/16 — Chicago, IL @ Byline Bank Aragon Ballroom
05/18 — Denver, CO @ Fillmore Auditorium
05/21 — Portland, OR @ Keller Auditorium
05/23 — Vancouver, BC @ UBC Doug Mitchell Thunderbird Sports Centre
05/24 — Seattle, WA @ WAMU Theater
05/26 — San Francisco, CA @ Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
05/28 — Las Vegas, NV @ The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
05/30 — Phoenix, AZ @ Arizona Financial Theatre

Culver City is not, technically speaking, Mid-City, Los Angeles. Mid-City has its own designation. But Culver is my personal “middle of LA” and I suspect it’s the same for many other creatives. You’re in striking distance of Hollywood, Downtown, and Venice and you’re right on the I-405. Plus, it’s where the Uproxx offices are based — so it was destined to be my LA epicenter, regardless.

With that said, I hadn’t really found the right Culver City hotel for my extended stays in town. I usually ended up driving back down south to Laguna Beach or staying in Hollywood. Until I found The Shay. The property is a mix of all the good qualities that Culver City itself boasts — stylish, young, and centrally located. In this case, I don’t just mean its positioning within the city but also in its neighborhood — the property is right across the street from Platform, the only “mall” I’ve willingly gone to in 15 years and an excellent spot for food, coffee, and independent boutiques. It’s also built right at the new and rapidly cool-ifying Ivy Station, a mixed-use space with retail, food, fitness, and a legit commitment to bringing Hollywood-level community to Culver City (movies on the lawn, outdoor classes, and an LA Ale Works tasting room.

As for the ultimate LA hotel metric — “But does it have a pool?” — the answer is yes. And some pretty incredible food and drinks to enjoy while you’re lounging next to it. Add in one of Culver’s true “must visit” restaurants and excellent co-working space and it’s not difficult to see why this is one of the “Hotels we Love.”

WHY IT’S AWESOME

In many ways, The Shay feels like a relative of The Freehand and its beloved bar, The Broken Shaker in DTLA. The property is a little less funky and a little less budget, but equally stylized and built for the convergence of travelers, creatives, and local residents. And when it comes to rooftop pools? Well, I think The Shay has The Freehand beat — it has a little more space and while the vibe isn’t quite as rowdy and chaotic (I’m a long-avowed lover of rowdiness and chaos) it has a better layout and cooler look. Just look how green everything is!

The ultimate selling point for The Shay in my mind is how you could compose a day around it. You wake up late, pop across the street for a coffee and some going-out clothes at Platform (or eat a more robust breakfast upstairs at the Canopy Club), grab a salad at the LA obsession Sweetgreen (this is their test kitchen so you get to try recipes first), then lounge by the pool for a few hours before heading downstairs to Etta. From there, you can easily get to Hollywood via Uber or head to Venice if that’s your vibe. I don’t find myself going out much in Culver City itself but like I said earlier — you’re in easy striking distance of anywhere you want to party. If you’re feeling mellow, the bar on-site stays open and the public spaces are popping til at least midnight.

IN HOUSE FOOD + DRINK

Etta is a Chicago transplant (four locations nationwide) with a renowned team and plenty of big ideas. Plus they have a monster wood-fired oven that they take excellent advantage of and a superb bar program. The dishes aren’t going to shock you but they do have enough fun little twists, jags, and surprises to keep you fully engaged.

I don’t do this often, because to each their own, and all of that… but I’ve ordered for large groups at Etta multiple times and I think I can nail the perfect order for a table of four.

Food:

• Fire-baked focaccia x2. It’s amazing and noteworthy and people will argue if you only get one.
• Bubbling shrimp. Like many Etta dishes, this doesn’t really feel Italian, more “modern Californian” — which is really the mantra of the restaurant and not a concern, nothing feels discordant with the more Italian-skewing pastas and pizzas.
• Beets & Feta. You have to like roasted beets to like a beet salad but if you don’t like roasted beets… what are you six? Evolve that palate and enjoy this nice, bright break from some of the more savory dishes.
• Orecchiette. I’ve long been a fan of sausage-based sauces and this is an exemplary example. The best pasta on the menu.
• Alla Vodka. The LA vodka sauce boom is fully on and this is an excellent, supremely silky riff on the NYC classic.*
• Jidori chicken. The kitchen pushes the branzino but I was underwhelmed by that dish, to be honest. I like this chicken about a million times more, mostly because it’s richer and I’m a glutton. Plus branzino in a wood oven is always so inconsistent — there were a few un-flaky spots (veering toward dry but not quite dry) on mine.
• Hanger steak or pork chop. This is a toss-up. It really is going to come down to if you need a steak. If not, the pork chop is more inspired and the glaze favors that oven nicely — it comes out with some crunchy edges.
• Tropical pot de creme. It’s a little light and slight for a dessert after this big meal but maybe that’s a good thing. I have a feeling that a wood-fired bread pudding would veer toward overkill. I liked these tropical flavors at the end of the night, especially with the palate-cleansing effect of mango.

Cocktails:

• Nearest & Dearest. This drinks utilizes Uncle Nearest whiskey and benefits HBCUs. Plus it’s delicious.
• Electric Feelz. Really coaxes the fruitiness out of the habanero pepper with strawberry and tequila.

*I really liked the mushroom pizza but… LA is one of the best pizza cities on earth right now (yes, seriously; yes, piece forthcoming) so I don’t know if you need a pizza from Etta. If you get one and already had sausage with the pasta, the mushroom pie is certainly the pick.

I feel a little insane because that was a lot of words and I haven’t even mentioned Canopy Club, which is the poolside restaurant that adds a ton to the property’s coolness factor and is a very functional joint with some great dishes paired with a few fried, crowd-pleasing easy wins. It’s the sort of “no notes” poolside gem that you dream of. The avocado tacos are a standout, as are the birria tacos. The fried chicken is excellent. As far as advice, I think i can be more succinct here: Bring your hangover and order something dense or if you’re on the health wave, go light. Avocado toast discourse is insufferable but the toast itself here is really very good.

AMENITIES

• Free Internet Access
• Electric Vehicle Charging
• On-Site Restaurant
• Room Service
• Fitness Center
• Pool
• Pet Friendly
• Business Services
• Concierge
• Meeting Facilities

These are all pretty standard. No spa, no sauna, no hot tub. The pool is the true perk and 2nd place is the absolutely incredible, sprawling lobby where people really do actually hang out. I mean, a lot of properties send pictures like the one above, featuring cool people in the lobby. But I’ve stayed at The Shay a few times and people really do that.

ROOM TYPES

I’m not sure why The Shay makes their suites look so dull in their press photos, but this IG does a better job of capturing the fact that the rooms are very nicely appointed and let in a ton of light. The property is in the Hyatt family but doesn’t feel nearly so “business hotel” as website pics of the rooms make it seem.

Because the building is unusual in shape, there are plenty of room options and they all feel a little different.

• Standard Room — king or 2x queen beds.
• Hollywood Hills View — king or 2x queen beds.
• Guestroom W/ Balcony — king or 2x queen beds.
• King Studio Bedroom.
• ADA Room — king or 2x queen beds.
• Penthouse
• Suite –king or 2x queen beds.

The selection of suites and penthouses reveal the property’s minimalist midcentury design better and they have bathtubs in front of giant windows — all of which will be unpacked in the sexiness section.

BEST THING TO DO WITHIN A 15-MINUTE WALK

Ugh. Who set these strict parameters [reader, it was me]? LA is not a walking city and Culver City is specifically un-walkable. That said, The Shay is at the intersection of Culver’s most walkable zone and a little side excursion to Platform is great. Or you can find a spa at Ivy Station if you crave that. Other than that… I know this breaks the rules but walk to a train stop and head off on an adventure. Or walk yourself right up to the pool!

THE BEST THING TO DO/EAT/DRINK WITHIN A $20 CAB RIDE

This is where LA thrives. You can party! You can (just barely! traffic depending!) get to Hollywood! You can literally sink your toes in the sand at Venice Beach!

This is literally why I picked this property — it’s central. But you know, if you’re not in LA often, go to the Comedy Store. Do it. It’s not just fun and funny but it’s probably the best part of LA history that you can still engage with. Plus, if you want Hollywood people actually out to have fun — it’s either this or the VIP at a club. Tarantino was there literally last night.

BED GAME

I have a very solid memory and don’t need to take notes too often, but I specifically noted liking these beds in my phone. The sheets are great and the pillows are down. That said, beds with an actual comforter always beat beds with the “thick second sheet” thing.

The point being, this was all very functional but not something so surprising or unique that it scored out of the park.

Rating: 7/10

SEXINESS FACTOR

A pool? Tubs in the penthouses? DJs in the lobby? All very sexy.

Frankly, I think the sexiness of this property is way undersold by the room photos themselves. The showers are elegant and the property is new/ ultra-clean feeling — which is always sexy. There’s great energy on site. With that said, there are business travelers and a few families and, by the parameters I set, the latter takes things down a notch.

Certainly not one of LA’s “meet single people” hotels. But if you grab a suite with a weekend fling or longterm date, you’re in for fun.

Rating: 7/10

THE VIEWS & PICS SPOTS

The fireplace is incredibly cosy and the tubs are very sexy. The pool is the real convergence of style and scene on the property. That said, it’s not like a place where you are trying to copy some influencer’s iconic shot or lean over the edge of an infinity pool. Still plenty scenic though, especially for a place that’s not on the beach.

Rating: 6/10

BEST SEASON TO VISIT

Visit Culver City in the winter. In the summer, the beach is too big of a draw to deny. Comedy Store and a few good restaurants plus one club, with The Shay as your base in January? You’ve got yourself a great date weekend.

IF I HAD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ONE THING

The rooms could be more inspired and unique from one another. You really have to get to the suite and penthouse level before they start to feel distinctly cool (though I still think the photos undersell the basic rooms).

BOOK HERE

You can get rooms this weekend for $342 and a suite for $542. Keep an eye on Hotel Tonight for deals, I’ve book The Shay from there before!

INSTAGRAM IMAGES TAKEN AT THE SHAY:

Karol G excited fans this week by announcing a new album, Mañana Será Bonito, with an endearing Instagram video. In it, the Colombian superstar spots a piece of paper urging anyone who feels sad to call the listed number. She dials it, and viewers are taken inside a call center run by children.

The young boy who picks up Karol G’s call gives her advice while wearing a purple T-shirt with “Mañana Será Bonito” written across it. The phrase translates to “tomorrow will be beautiful.” The video ends with the written message “COMING SOON…”

And that’s where we still stand. Karol G has not yet announced a specific release date for the album, though there’s a better than good chance that she will not be touring in support of it in 2023. Karol G did dish some details about the album in an exclusive interview with Rolling Stone.

“Every day, I kept finding something I wanted to change or rethink, or finding little details I wanted to update,” she told the publication. “It’s always hard, but now I’ve turned it in and it’s finished, and I can’t wait for people to hear it.”

She also explained the reasoning behind the title: “This definitely represents a specific phase of my life. The name of album is a phrase I kept repeating to myself when nothing felt great. I mean, I was going through the best moment of my career, but personally, I was really disconnected from myself and from my friends. I wasn’t unhappy, but I wasn’t happy either. So every day, I’d say to myself, ‘It’s okay, mañana será bonito — tomorrow will be beautiful.’”

Karol G last dropped KG0516 in 2021. It was nominated for Best Música Urbana Album at last year’s Grammys.

Rae Sremmurd returned with a brand new song, “Sucka Or Sum.” The duo members, Slim Jxmmi and Swae Lee, have put out a handful of songs recently, including “Torpedo,” “Denial,” and “Community D*ck” featuring Flo Milli.

They previously teased a snippet of the song in a Twitter video as they got fans excited by jamming out. Produced by Jaxx, “Sucka Or Sum” opens with a calming instrumental before dropping the booming beat.

The music video for the song finds the two brothers dressed as construction workers, in fancy suits, and just having a good time in their regular clothes. Add in some enticing visual effects, and it creates a seriously cool viewing experience.

Last May, Rae Sremmurd began teasing their long-awaited fourth studio album, which could potentially feature their latest few singles. “SREMM4LIFE,” they tweeted along with a photo of a “4” on fire. However, there is currently not a release date and only limited info about the project.

“We’ve got to give them something new, man. As an artist, it’s hard to be yourself, and I feel like with this album, it was like we’re not following a trend,” Jxmmi told GQ last year. “We want set the tone.”

Listen to Rae Sremmurd’s “Sucka Or Sum” above.

Coldplay is gearing up to continue their Music Of The Spheres Tour, including some recently added US dates. Music Of The Spheres arrived in October 2021, but Coldplay reached deep in their bag and brought out a track from their 2002 album A Rush Of Blood To The Head for Jimmy Kimmel Live on Thursday night, January 26.

On January 26, 2003, Jimmy Kimmel Live premiered. Coldplay was the long-running talk show’s first-ever musical guest. And so, Chris Martin joined Kimmel to commemorate the 20-year anniversary. Kimmel remembered telling Martin during the premiere episode that he and his crew “wanted to have a band on the show that we’d be proud we had on the show in 20 years, and boy, it was the one thing that we got right.”

Martin added that “we’re both really lucky” and thanked Kimmel before apologizing for not having a song to perform because Kimmel called Coldplay “kind of last minute.” He pretended he was there alone without the rest of the band and presented Kimmel with a music box. After Kimmel wound it, it started playing “Clocks,” the song that Coldplay performed on January 26, 2003.

You guessed it: Martin launched into another performance of “Clocks,” 20 years later.

It’s just one stop on Coldplay’s trip down memory lane in the coming weeks. Also on Thursday, Saturday Night Live announced that Coldplay will serve as the musical guest on February 4 episode hosted by Pedro Pascal. That will mark Coldplay’s seventh time performing on SNL, among the most appearances of any musical guest in SNL history.

Watch Martin’s nostalgic “Clocks” performance on Kimmel above.

Coldplay is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Throughout last year, Kali Uchis teased that she had finished not one but two new studio albums. After taking to Twitter to poll fans on whether they wanted the English album or the Spanish one first, she is now heading into her new era. Uchis revealed the title of her upcoming album, Red Moon In Venus, shortly after announcing the record’s first single.

Here is everything you need to know about Red Moon In Venus.

Release Date

Red Moon In Venus is out 3/3 via Geffen. Pre-save it here.

Tracklist

1. “In My Garden”
2. “I Wish You Roses”
3. “Worth The Wait” Feat. Omar Apollo
4. “Love Between”
5. “All Mine”
6. “Fantasy” Feat. Don Toliver
7. “Como Te Quiero Yo”
8. “Hasta Quando”
9. “Endlessly”
10. “Moral Conscience”
11. “Not Too Late (Interlude)”
12. “Blue”
13. “Deserve Me” Feat. Summer Walker
14. “Moonlight”
15. “Happy Now”

Features

Uchis’ new album will include three features currently: Summer Walker (“Deserve Me”), Omar Apollo (“Worth The Wait”), and Don Toliver (“Fantasy”).

Artwork

She unveiled the album cover on Instagram, along with a fiery photoshoot.

Singles

So far, Uchis has dropped just the album’s lead single, “I Wish You Roses.” Watch the video here.

Tour

Kali Uchis is set to head on tour in support of Red Moon In Venus this spring. Raye will be opening her shows, with more information available here.

04/16 — Indio, CA @ Coachella
04/23 — Indio, CA @ Coachella
04/25 — Austin, TX @ Moody Amphitheater at Waterloo Park
04/26 — Houston, TX @ 713 Music Hall
04/27 — Irving, TX @ The Pavilion at Toyota Music Factory
04/30 — Miami, FL @ FPL Solar Amphitheater at Bayfront Park
05/01 — Orlando, FL @ Hard Rock Live Orlando
05/02 — Atlanta, GA @ Coca-Cola Roxy
05/04 — New York, NY @ Radio City Music Hall
05/07 — Philadelphia, PA @ The Met Philadelphia
05/09 — Washington, D.C. @ The Anthem
05/10 — Boston, MA @ MGM Music Hall at Fenway
05/12 — Toronto, ON @ Coca-Cola Coliseum
05/14 — Detroit, MI @ The Fillmore
05/16 — Chicago, IL @ Byline Bank Aragon Ballroom
05/18 — Denver, CO @ Fillmore Auditorium
05/21 — Portland, OR @ Keller Auditorium
05/23 — Vancouver, BC @ UBC Doug Mitchell Thunderbird Sports Centre
05/24 — Seattle, WA @ WAMU Theater
05/26 — San Francisco, CA @ Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
05/28 — Las Vegas, NV @ The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
05/30 — Phoenix, AZ @ Arizona Financial Theatre

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

To start, “Lavender Haze” is not Taylor Swift’s phrase — or, at least, it wasn’t before she put her uniquely Swiftian spin on it. And she was the first person to say that before Midnights, her record-breaking album, arrived in October.

“I happened upon the phrase ‘Lavender Haze’ when I was watching Mad Men, and I looked it up because I thought it sounded cool, and it turns out that it was a common phrase that was used in the ’50s where they would just describe being in love,” Swift said in an Instagram video. “Like, If you were in the ‘Lavender Haze,’ that meant you were in that all-encompassing love glow, and I thought that was really beautiful.”

And this is where she related it to her extremely private relationship with the British actor Joe Alwyn.

She continued, “I guess, theoretically, when you’re in the ‘Lavender Haze,’ you’ll do anything to stay there and not let people bring you down off of that cloud. And I think a lot of people have to deal with this now — not just, like, quote-unquote public figures — because we live in the era of social media, and if the world finds out that you’re in love with somebody, they’re gonna weigh in on it. My relationship for six years we’ve had to dodge weird rumors, tabloid stuff, and we just ignore it. And so, this song is sort of about the act of ignoring that stuff to protect the real stuff.”

Swift personalized “Lavender Haze,” the opening Midnights track and one of Uproxx’s Best Songs of 2022, even more by dropping the music video on Friday, January 27.

“The Lavender Haze video is out now,” she wrote on Instagram. “There is lots of lavender. There is lots of haze. There is my incredible costar @laith_ashley who I absolutely adored working with. This was the first video I wrote out of the 3 that have been released, and this one really helped me conceptualize the world and mood of Midnights, like a sultry sleepless ’70s fever dream. Hope you like it.”

As of Friday evening, the Swift-directed video boasted over 5.3 million views. It didn’t take Swifties any time at all to start dissecting it for Easter eggs, including another nod toward Speak Now and a clever inclusion of hers and Alwyn’s zodiac signs.

Watch the “Lavender Haze” video above.

The best new hip-hop this week includes albums, videos, and songs from Lil Yachty, Flo Milli, and more.

We’ve got a little bit of a sleepy week on our hands, at least in regard to full-length drops. However, while only a few hip-hop artists released albums, we did get some buzzy tracks from the likes of Bas (“Diamonds“), Cordae (“Two Tens“), Denzel Curry (“Tally” with Midwxst), Rich Brian (“Sundance Freestyle“), Slowthai (“Selfish“). As for New Music Friday, it seems to have made up in quality what it lacked in quantity.

Here is the best of hip-hop this week ending January 27, 2022.

Albums/EPs/Mixtapes

Lil Yachty — Let’s Start Here

The highest profile release from a rapper this week isn’t technically a rap release, but Yachty’s still (technically) a rapper, and anyway, it’s my column, I can do what I want. Drawing comparisons to Kid Cudi’s experiments into alt- and psych-rock, Yachty’s latest draws on a slew of collaborators for that added dash of authenticity, but let’s face it; it’d be a compelling project by virtue of Yachty himself. His career has taken so many interesting turns and he only gets more likable with each

Reuben Vincent — Love Is War

The protege of veteran producer 9th Wonder and a member of 9th’s label Jamla Records, Reuben was just 16 years old when he got signed in 2016. Now 23, he’s releasing his debut album after a string of impressive mixtapes that showcased his promising talent. More polished and conceptual than you might expect, given his age, Love Is War reveals a fully developed artist who captivates all on his own, even alongside collaborators like Domani, Rapsody, and Reason.

Styles P — Penultimate: A Calm Wolf Is Still A Wolf

Styles’ first project since the death of his longtime manager Hovain finds him resting in a state of uneasy, coiled tension. As he says on the menacing “Intro,” “Sometimes you gotta let that 180 negative go, you know? That 180 positive is always there. That’s the balance.” Thus, the balance is between Styles’ poised flow and the itchy, edgy beats, which evoke the sort of restless nights that come with the rags-to-riches narrative that defines the Yonkers native’s journey.

Singles/Videos

ALLBLACK — “Literally”

The Bay Area native has quietly become one of Northern California’s most consistent presences over the past two years, dropping one project after another of upbeat but honest post-hyphy bangers. He’s been increasing his output in the past few weeks, suggesting the follow-up to 2021’s TY4FWM could be arriving soon.

EST Gee — “Blow Up” and “If I Stop Now”

The Louisville rapper already has a reputation for being as prolific as they come, and he only reinforces it with his double-single release. The back-to-back tracks offer two sides of Gee’s flow — one hard-hitting and the other, melodic — but both convey the same intensity and refusal to be anything less than real.

Mozzy — “Every Night” Feat. Baby Money

Mozzy’s back! His first release of the year is the intimidating “Every Night,” a gritty, blunt portrait of the dangers of Mozz’s environs. It’s a stern warning about the drawbacks of street life — and a promise that Mozzy’s 2023 is going to be bright.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Forgive me for going the long way round while describing the experience of playing the new GoldenEye 007 port on Switch and XBOX, but do you remember the ending of Interstellar? This is going to be a spoiler for that 2014 film, so come on back at the end of the paragraph if you haven’t seen it. But basically, Matthew McConaughey leaves his family behind to find a new, habitable home for mankind, losing time in bunches while traveling through space as years go by in drips and drops on a dying Earth, much to his dismay. When he finally finds his way back to the bedside of his daughter (Jessica Chastain), she’s lived a long, full, and heroic life but is near death. McConaughey, on the other hand, barely seems as though he’s aged. Their reunion is bittersweet, to say the least. He took too long to get home.

Okay, now to the game.

The GoldenEye nostalgia high has you touching clouds when the first chords of the familiar score hit your ear and you reacquaint yourself with pixel Pierce Brosnan and the dossier menu of GoldenEye. But it’s hollow. Like most purely nostalgic things, it offers a pop of initial giddiness and then a building feeling of, “Is this it?” Because the reality of the thing can’t compete with the sweet memory of the original and everything connected to it. This game imprinted so deeply on me because it came at that transitional moment when I was feeling like a kid, but also fascinated by and looking forward to the excitement of more adult things. That’s powerful. But this new GoldenEye’s greatest sin is that it doesn’t come with a time machine. Its second greatest sin is that it took too long to get home.

A GoldenEye 007 port to modern systems has been rumored for years and years, including an XBLA version in 2008 that teased HD graphics and a toggle to play with N64-era visuals. The timing of that would have been perfect, filling a hole for longing fans whose memories were still ultra-fresh, but it died on the vine and we got the half-baked GoldenEye Reloaded in 2011, the occasional rumor, and the lingering desire to get into emulators or find a CRT monitor and an N64. A fading desire, to be honest. Twenty years is a long time to carry a torch for a game.

Putting aside mushy meditations on GoldenEye as an emotional vessel and re-centering on the technical accomplishment of it for a moment, the game was unlike anything I had ever played before. But that was 1997. Jump ahead to 2023 and it’s obviously been lapped several times over by games that took its influence and evolved the idea of what an FPS can be with the benefit of hardware that’s a world away from an N64. You probably used to love using an Etch-A-Sketch, but if someone told you to spend a lot of time with that over a tablet and an Apple Pencil, you might get bored quickly after the awe of reflection dimmed.

I should add (so as to live up to the idea of this as a “review”) that the raw experience of playing this version of the game is great for what it is — I greatly preferred it on GamePass to Switch owing to the limitations of the Switch controller, but your mileage may vary. Visuals are blocky and unrefined, lacking dimension, but they’re of the original era (though fit for modern screens). There’s a kind of beauty to some of the landscapes and the way colors blend. Accidentally otherworldly instead of hyper realistic. It’s kinda trippy when you’re cutting through the snow on a red hazy night in search of a bunker while dozens of foot soldiers trudge through the cold to try and shoot you on sight. And I was playing straight.

I should also point out that I suck at this game, at least on first play. I set a high bar for myself, playing through its levels hundreds of times as a kid, aiming for perfection when it came to how quickly and efficiently I cut through the endless parade of guards and bads. These 35 percent marks for accuracy and clumsy crawls through maps I used to know like the back of my hand? A disgrace that falls squarely on me. But I’ll get better. I’ll run through these levels a few more times to prove to myself that I can be as good at it as I was back in the day. I’ll occasionally tinker with multiplayer in search of those similar nostalgia hits and memories of when I made my little sister play with me when none of my friends were around (and how she kicked my ass at it).

But while that’s more than enough value to get from something that’s basically free on subscriptions I already pay for, I used to think a new GoldenEye was going to be a big part of my gaming diet for a long while if it ever came out, just like it was in the late ’90s, but I just can’t see that happening now. And while that’s a surprise, I don’t know that it’s anyone’s fault, nor do I think it’s a bad thing, especially considering the amount of joy this thing has given me over my lifetime.

I’ve been thinking about nostalgia and who it’s for a lot lately. How I enjoy it, but how it might be toxic for me and for culture, in general, if I treat it as more than an occasional treat. Try as I have through the bulk of my adult life to live in total defiance of reality and time, I can’t be 12 forever and I probably shouldn’t expect or demand the things I grew up with to always be there, capable of holding my attention like they used to.

I do hope people who have never played GoldenEye give it a go and that the fun and novelty of it finds appreciation. It looks like crap (compared to modern games, of course), but the play is still smooth with richly detailed levels that are as fun as they are challenging. Multiplayer, in particular, could be the centerpiece of a lazy weekend night hang with friends. Slap Mode with the aid of a bottle of wine = laughs galore. It’d also be a full circle kind of thing because the original wasn’t built to carry the weight of personal connection or the epic legacy we’ve hung on it, it was meant to be a fun escape then, now, and forever.