Have you ever wondered why people don’t seem to say “you’re welcome” anymore?
Back in 2015, author and professor Tom Nichols tweeted out an angry response after receiving what he thought was poor customer service:
“Dear Every Cashier in America: the proper response to ‘thank you’ is ‘you’re welcome,’ not ‘no problem.’ And *you’re* supposed to thank *me*”The angry tweet elicited a number of mocking responses from people on social media.
But eventually one person chimed in with a detailed and thoughtful response that just might give you pause the next time you or someone you know says, “no problem.”
Dear Every Cashier in America: the proper response to “thank you” is “you’re welcome,” not “no problem.” And *you’re* supposed to thank *me*
Actually the “you’re welcome/no problem” issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say “you’re welcome,” younger ppl tend to say “no problem.” This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s them saying, “I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.”
“No problem,” however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that you’re need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).
Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is an expectation required of them.
Nichols took a lot of flack for his comment. But the insightful response reveals something important about gratitude.
The thoughtful response from “lucasnoahs” doesn’t apply to everyone. After all, there are certainly a lot of people of any age group for whom acts of kindness and gestures of gratitude are “no problem.”
Still, his message conveys an important idea that doing well for others does not have to be a grand gesture. It can be a simple act — and the additional act of letting someone know that it’s really no problem helps relieve any potential sense of debt or guilt the person receiving the gesture might otherwise take on.
Most of the time, doing the right thing is indeed no problem. In fact, it might be the solution to a lot of the daily problems we grapple with.
As a parent of teens, I often wonder: Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this? I don’t mean the warnings and complaints about how challenging the teen years are. I don’t mean all of the “just you wait” admonitions. I don’t mean the cliches and memes. What I want to know is why no one told me how awesome raising teens can be.
Don’t get me wrong, raising teens is not without its challenges. But for the most part, the teen years are portrayed as something to survive, not something to enjoy—and Dr. Ken Ginsburg is on a mission to change that.
A pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and co-founder and director of programs at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, Dr. Ginsburg has focused his career on changing how we think about, treat and raise teenagers.
His message of optimism is a welcome respite from the constant doomsday messages we hear about teenagers. The cliches, warnings and complaints about teens start early and continue often. Parents need to vent—and there is a lot to vent about—but the narratives we tell about teens are so one-sided and predominantly negative that I’ve been legit shocked at how fulfilling, rewarding and—dare I say—fun raising teens can be. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?
Ginsburg told Upworthy he suspects that part of the reason for the success of his latest book—”Congrats, You’re Having a Teen”—is that people are hungry for a book about teens that doesn’t focus on survival.
Raising teens isn’t all sunshine and roses. It is nerve-wracking, terrifying and emotional. But Ginsburg has made it his life’s work to dispel common myths about teens. Some key culprits: the misconception that teens don’t care what their parents think, that teens are inherently risk-prone and that teens don’t act rationally. To counteract the damaging impact of these myths, Dr. Ginsburg promotes “lighthouse parenting.”
“Parents,” Dr. Ginsburg advises, “you should be like a lighthouse for your child—a stable force on the shoreline from which they should measure themselves against. You should look down at the rocks and make sure they don’t crash against them. Look into the waves and trust that they will learn to ride them, and it’s your job to prepare them to do so.”
Unlike other talked-about parenting styles, like helicopter parenting and free-range parenting, lighthouse parenting—or balanced parenting—is grounded in science. Decades of research shows that not only does lighthouse parenting yield better academic, social, mental/emotional health and behavior outcomes, but (perhaps most importantly) it also leads to better relationships between parents and their children.
How do we tell the difference between rocks and waves? Is graduating from high school a rock or a wave? What about getting into college? Is underage drinking a choppy wave or a sharp rock?
Ginsburg explains it like this: Waves are challenges that you can ride through with the right skill sets, but rocks are dangers you might not survive no matter how prepared you are. Didn’t study for an important test? A wave. Getting in the car with a driver who has been drinking? A rock, definitely a rock.
I’ll be honest, in today’s increasingly high-stakes and ultra-competitive world of college admissions, travel sports and prestigious schools, it can be hard to know when to step in and when to let your child lead the way—especially when you know a wave might crash on top of them, leaving them gasping for air. But Ginsburg has a navigational tool for that too: think about the 35-year-old you’re raising.
When we look at success narrowly in terms of accomplishments, Ginsburg says we’re focusing on what our children are doing rather than who they are being and becoming. But when parents shift their focus onto the 35-year-old version of their teen, we look at success very differently with a focus on who they really are.
“The starting point is to know your child,” he says. “For a child to be ultimately successful, it has to be success that matches who they really are, not your vision of who they might become.”
Another mind-blowing piece of advice? Raise teens for their second job, not their first. Their first job might be influenced by accomplishments like good grades and high SAT scores, but their second job is when character traits like compassion and perseverance have a chance to shine.
Being a lighthouse, raising the 35-year-old and preparing them for their second job can be easier said than done, especially when a teen is slamming a door in your face or telling you (once again) that you don’t know what you’re talking about. But our teens aren’t pushing us away, Ginsburg says, they are simply struggling with their own growing independence.
The frustration is real, he acknowledges, but it is rooted in misunderstandings about teen development. Research shows that young people actually do care deeply about what their parents think, and they want to have good relationships with their parents.
So stay calm, be the lighthouse, ride the waves.
“The most protective thing in a young person’s life is to be known, seen, and valued just as you are, with all of your strengths and all of your limitations,” he told Upworthy. “When you know that the person who knows you the most, knows your character strengths and those areas in need of improvement—and that person continues to adore you, that gives you strength to launch into adulthood truly secure in who you are. That’s what gives you the strength to navigate the waves of adolescence when other people are challenging who you are.”
Ginsburg’s book was released in early October and he’s been doing television interviews that are resonating with many people. I’ll admit, I was on the verge of tears for nearly our entire interview. His advice feels like a hug, a TED talk and a Masterclass on parenting all rolled into one. In the words of Sheinelle Jones, who interviewed him on TODAY, “This was a sermon.”
TMZ reported today, November 14, that Megan has been granted a restraining order against 1501 Certified Entertainment, as well as her distributor 300 Entertainment. She alleges that 1501 made “threatening and retaliatory” moves to prevent her from using her own music in connection with the AMAs, which are taking place this weekend.
The “Sweetest Pie” singer recently had to take to Twitter to set the record straight once rumors about the lawsuit began circulating over the internet. “No judge has ruled anything abt this 1501 case, this information is not accurate,” she wrote in a tweet. “the court date for this isn’t even until DECEMBER 12TH … we HAVE NOT went to court and got a summary judgment. Please stop spreading misinformation thanks.”
Megan Thee Stallion is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
When 2022 began, it seemed like cryptocurrency was going to have its biggest year yet. The industry oozed confidence. There were multiple big ads starring big time celebrities. One of them was for the currency exchange FTX. It starred Larry David. Tom Brady was also a fan. Last week the company filed for bankruptcy. Then it was discovered that a ton of money had gone missing. There are multiple investigations, including one by the Justice Department. How is its young, shorts-wearing founder taking it? Oh, well, you know.
“You would’ve thought that I’d be getting no sleep right now, and instead I’m getting some,” Sam Bankman-Fried told The New York Times on Sunday. “It could be worse.”
What else is he doing to occupy his time as he faces possible jailtime apart from sleeping? He said he’s been playing the video game Storybook Brawl. “It helps me unwind a bit,” he explained. “It clears my mind.” He also would not reveal where he’s staying, having allegedly fled the Bahamas, where FTX is based.
Last week, FTX collapsed after the once-prosperous crypto exchange suddenly had an $8 billion shortfall. Bankman-Fried has been suspected of using billions of dollars in customer funds to prop up another of his companies, Alameda Research. It’s yet another scandal for an industry that hit hard times back in the spring.
Bankman-Fried hadn’t commented on his struggles until the NYT chat, save some mysterious posts on social media:
Shortly before the interview, Mr. Bankman-Fried had posted a cryptic tweet: the word “What.” Then he had tweeted the letter H. Asked to explain, Mr. Bankman-Fried said he planned to post the letter A and then the letter P. “It’s going to be more than one word,” he said. “I’m making it up as I go.”
So he was planning a series of cryptic tweets? “Something like that.”
But why? “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m improvising. I think it’s time.”
More than three years have passed since Yasiel Puig appeared in a Major League Baseball game, and his path to a potential return to MLB took a considerable hit on Monday. According to a release from the United States Department of Justice, Puig agreed to plead guilty to a charge of lying to federal officials with regard to participation in an illegal gambling operation.
According to the release, Puig will be fined $55,000 and the charge carries “a statutory maximum sentence of five years in federal prison.” The release also lays out that Puig began wagering on sports, though baseball was not included in the filing, and he allegedly placed 899 sports bets over a three-month period.
The charge takes shape for what transpired after, however, as Puig allegedly lied to federal investigators in January 2022, indicating he did not place bets and only had involvement with the other party through baseball. Prosecutors were seemingly able to prove this was false by finding documentation of him withdrawing $200,000 to pay off gambling debts, and Puig will now face sentencing on March 8, 2023.
Puig last played for Cincinnati and Cleveland in 2019, and he was an All-Star with the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2014. Though he was only 28 years old when he stopped playing in MLB, Puig’s career seems to be in peril, and it remains to be seen as to how this plea and potential sentence might impact his current playing career in South Korea.
Odell Beckham Jr. is getting set to make his long-awaited free agency decision, as he expects to be fully ready to return to football soon after suffering a torn ACL in the Rams’ Super Bowl win.
While Beckham is trying to narrow down his list of potential contenders to join on the field, he’s also making a big move off of it by filing a lawsuit against Nike for failing to honor its contract with him after matching an offer from Adidas in 2017. Beckham released a statement on Monday night confirming he was suing Nike, saying he was holding the company accountable for honoring its commitments.
According to TMZ, the suit stems from Beckham’s belief that Nike has been suppressing sneaker sales and finding ways to dock him pay for altering equipment he wears for games, with the star believing Nike has kept $20 million from him.
OBJ says the relationship with Nike began to sour around March 2022 when he was due a payment of around $2.6 million. But, he claims, without any warning, the company withheld more than $2 million of the payment. He later learned Nike withheld the money because the company said he committed footwear and glove violations when he altered his equipment towards the end of last season. Beckham insists he didn’t commit the violations — he said he was forced to personally customize his cleats because Nike failed to give him cleats that matched the colors of his new team. As for his gloves, Beckham Jr. says he always customizes the equipment to fit his “high fashion brand” and Nike never had a problem with it in the past.
Considering Beckham has long been one of Nike’s most prominent faces, with his crossover appeal from sportswear to streetwear, it’s a significant lawsuit as Nike seems set to lose one of its biggest football clients with allegations that they’ve manipulated his deal.
Yesterday, Dua Lipa clarified that she won’t be performing at the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 opening ceremony. However, she will be performing with Elton John during his final North American performance at Dodger Stadium. Other artists paying homage to the legendary musician will be Kiki Dee and Brandi Carlile.
The show, called Elton John Live: Farewell from Dodger Stadium, takes place on Sunday, November 20. It will be livestreamed for three hours, starting at 11 PM ET on Disney+.
About not performing at the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 opening ceremony, Lipa explained her decision in an Instagram story, “There is currently a lot of speculation that I will be performing at the opening ceremony of the World Cup in Qatar,” she wrote. “I will not be performing and nor have I ever been involved in any negotiation to perform. I will be cheering England on from afar and I look forward to visiting Qatar when it has fulfilled all the human rights pledges it made when it won the right to host the World Cup. One love, Dua x.”
Watch the trailer for Elton John Live: Farewell from Dodger Stadium above.
Dua Lipa is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
When we talk about “grocery store” beers, we tend to think of light beers, lagers, pilsners, and IPAs. But when it comes to the beer aisle (or cooler) at contemporary beer sellers, there are a lot more choices than there were even a few years ago. This means many other styles also fit the criteria of “grocery store beers” — including stouts.
Sure, there are the usual suspects like Guinness Stout and Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout, but there are myriad other stouts available at almost any grocer or beer store. And today I decided to blindly taste the best of them (or at least the most prominent). I picked eight widely available stouts (including the aforementioned Guinness and Smith Smith’s stouts) and blindly nosed, tasted, and ranked them. I specifically selected a mix of various stout styles. There are Irish dry stouts, oatmeal stouts, Nitro stouts, and even a few imperial stouts. Keep scrolling to see how everything turned out.
Here’s today’s lineup:
Guinness Stout
Left Hand Nitro Milk Stout
Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout
Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout
Great Divide Yeti
Deschutes Obsidian Stout
Sierra Nevada Narwhal Stout
Murphy’s Irish Stout
Part 1: The Taste
Taste 1
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
The nose is roasted malts and dark chocolate, but really nothing else. The palate is more of the same with roasted malts, dark chocolate, cereal grains, and light hops.
Overall, not the most exciting palate and is a little too sweet for my liking.
Taste 2
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
Cocoa powder, freshly brewed coffee, milk chocolate, vanilla, oak, vanilla, and roasted malts, the aromas on this beer’s nose seem to be never-ending. The palate continues this trend with more dark chocolate, coffee beans, fudge, roasted malts, and gentle, floral, herbal hops at the finish. The ending is a mix of sweetness and bitterness and leaves you craving more.
Taste 3
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
Aromas of bready malts, roasted malts, coffee, and dark chocolate greeted me before my first sip. The palate keeps this trend going with sweet caramel malts, roasted barley, dark chocolate, and freshly brewed coffee. It’s smooth, creamy, and dry.
Not overly exciting, but definitely a decent beer.
Taste 4
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
Before my first sip, I was met with aromas of roasted malts, caramel, chocolate, coffee, and lightly bitter pine. On the palate, I found notes of bitter chocolate, licorice, espresso, and roasted malts. The finish is a mix of sweetness and bitter hops.
Overall, a very unique stout.
Taste 5
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
Complex aromas of roasted malts, coffee beans, bready malts, toffee, and a gentle nutty sweetness greeted me before my first sip. Drinking it, I found notes of molasses cookies, dark chocolate, roasted malts, espresso beans, and a gentle, slightly bitter finish that tied everything together nicely.
From my notes: “This is a complex, multi-dimensional stout.”
Taste 6
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
I noticed chocolate, dried fruits, caramel, and not much else on the nose. The palate was creamy and smooth but didn’t have much substance beyond chocolate, butterscotch, and light biscuit malts. Fairly one-dimensional and unexciting overall.
Taste 7
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
The nose isn’t overly pungent with roasted malts, caramel, freshly brewed coffee, and dark chocolate making heavy appearances. Taking a sip reveals even more dark chocolate, coffee, roasted malts, vanilla beans, and licorice. The finish is creamy, sweet, and dry.
Very pleasing.
Taste 8
Christopher Osburn
Tasting Notes:
The nose is all earthy grass, roasted malts, dark chocolate, and slight pine needles. On the palate, I found more dark chocolate, caramel malts, freshly brewed coffee, roasted barley, and some vanilla. The finish is creamy, sweet, and dry.
This 5% ABV, vegan-friendly oatmeal stout is brewed with onsite well water as well as malted barley, cane sugar, roasted malts, yeast, hops, and oatmeal. It gets some of its velvety, creamy mouthfeel from the addition of carbon dioxide.
Bottom Line:
If you’re okay with a fairly one-dimensional stout with chocolate and not much else, this is a great beer for you. Otherwise, opt for something with a little more substance.
One of the most milk stouts in America, Left Hand Milk Stout is brewed with 2-row, Crystal, Chocolate, and Munich malts as well as lactose (hence the name) roasted barley, flaked barley, and rolled oats. It gets its hop presence from the addition of CTZ and US Goldings hops.
Bottom Line:
This is a velvety smooth milk stout. It’s just a little one-dimensional and sweet for my liking. It’s not a terrible beer, just not the best.
While Guinness Stout gets all the hype when it comes to Irish stouts (and readily available stouts in general), fellow Irish brand Murphy’s makes a widely popular stout as well. It’s brewed simply with water, malted barley, un-malted barley, hop extract, and gets its mouthfeel from the addition of nitrogen.
Bottom Line:
This isn’t Guinness and that’s more than okay. If you’re looking for a drinkable, reasonably well-balanced Irish stout that isn’t Guinness, give this one a try.
Sierra Nevada gets a lot of hype for its industry-changing pale ale and its myriad IPAs, but this imperial stout definitely shouldn’t be forgotten. It gets its bold, robust flavor from being brewed with caramelized malts, Chocolate, Carafa III, Estate Pale, Honey, smoked and two-row malts as well as roasted barley.
Bottom Line:
Sierra Nevada crafted a great imperial stout when they made Narwhal. It’s loaded with roasted malts, chocolate, coffee, and other expected stout flavors. Its only downfall is its high ABV (10.2%), making it less of an everyday drinker.
This popular stout is available year-round but is best suited for fall and winter drinking. Brewed simply with water, malt, hops, and house ale yeast, it gets its unique flavor from the addition of Brewer’s Licorice.
Bottom Line:
This isn’t your average stout. While it has the elements stout drinkers enjoy (roasted malts, coffee, and chocolate), it also has a nice hop presence.
In the world of stouts, there is none more famous than the classic, timeless Guinness Stout. This iconic 4.2% ABV dry Irish stout is made with simple ingredients like water, malted barley, un-malted barley, roasted barley, hops, and yeast. It gets its velvety mouthfeel from the use of nitrogen.
Bottom Line:
There’s a reason Guinness stout is such a popular beer. And while much of it is advertising, it’s also a great beer. It’s creamy, sweet, and filled with all the flavors stout lovers enjoy.
This award-winning year-round beer from the folks at Great Divide is known for its roasted malts, sweet caramel, coffee, and dark chocolate flavors. The addition of hops brings an added dimension to this robust, potent imperial stout
Bottom Line:
Great Divide Yeti is a great stout. This imperial stout has everything stout fans crave and, while it’s a little higher than most stouts at 9.5%, the alcohol content doesn’t overpower the rich flavor profile.
This bold, complex, beloved stout gets its roasted malt, chocolate, and coffee flavors from the addition of 2-row, Munich, Crystal, Carapils, and Chocolate malts as well as roasted barley and Delta and Northern Brewer hops.
Bottom Line:
You’d have a tough time finding a more complex, well-balanced stout that you can find at most grocery or beer stores than Deschutes Obsidian. One sip and it will become your fall and winter go-to.
Part 3: Final Thoughts
As is often the case with my blind taste tests, it’s clear balance is key when it comes to stouts. I’m not interested in overly sweet, cloying stouts without much substance. I’m also not interested in bitter stouts either. There’s a certain sweet spot where they have a mix of malt sweetness, some bitter chocolate and coffee, and a smattering of hops. This is what I’m looking for and the number one pick here nails those parameters!
This time last year, Emily Ratajkowski made a bold proclamation: She didn’t think it was weird at all that women are attracted to Pete Davidson. Perhaps she was really telling on herself, because a year later, word got out that the two might be an item. But is the rumor true? According to Us Weekly, it sure is.
“Pete and Emily have been talking for a couple months now,” an insider told the publication, adding that they are “in the very early stages, but both really like each other.”
Over the summer, both parties split with their respected partners. Ratajkowski separated from her spouse Sebastian Bear-McClard after four years of marriage. Meanwhile, Davidson ended his 10-month relationship with Kim Kardashian, during which he had to put up with the unhinged antics of her ex, Kanye West (who was still a ways off from imploding his career).
Last November, Ratajkowski spoke about Davidson during an appearance on Late Night with Seth Meyers. “Pete’s, he’s got the height. Obviously women find him very attractive,” she said. She also hatched a theory that only men don’t see why women are into him. “Guys are like, ‘Wow. What’s that guy got?’ And I’m like, I mean, he seems super charming. He’s vulnerable. He’s lovely. His fingernail polish is awesome. He looks good!” Now look at them.
Parenting is the most important job that most people will ever have in life. Your decisions as a parent will be some of the most important determining factors in whether your child becomes a happy and productive adult or not. It’s a huge responsibility.
Parenting is a difficult and important undertaking, but many parents simply repeat the same strategies used by their parents. How often do we hear people rationalize their decisions by saying, “That’s what my parents did and I came out ok.”
This approach to raising children negates the fact that with every generation there are countless studies done on child development, many of which run counter to popular parenting wisdom from the past.
Dr. Kristyn Sommer, who has a PhD in child development, has received a lot of attention on social media because of her dedication to teaching “evidence-based parenting.” This expertise has made her an advocate for strategies that run counter to conventional parenting wisdom and have stirred up a bit of controversy.
Here are five TikTok videos where Sommer shares some of her evidence-based parenting strategies.
Play > rote learning for toddlers 🙌 #playbasedlearning #learningthroughplay #playmatters #earlylearning #earlychildhoodeducation #preschool #toddler
Three Things I Do Differently as a Mum with a PhD in Child Development
In Dr. Sommer’s first video where she references her degree she admits she refuses to sleep train, co-sleeps with her daughter, and never calls her “naughty” or “bad.” She delves deeper into her thoughts on discipline in the next video.
How To Discipline Your Child So They Actually Learn
Dr. Sommer uses positive reinforcement to discipline her child and as she said in the previous video, avoids the use of terms such as “naughty” or “bad.” If her daughter is doing something wrong she asks her to contemplate whether she’s making a good or a bad decision.
How to Handle Tantrums
Most people tend to think of a tantrum as naughty behavior. However, they are actually a combination of a bunch of little stresses that the child has experienced throughout the day that eventually overwhelm them. Once they hit the tipping point, all of their big feelings bubble up to the surface, resulting in a healthy expression of emotion.
Should You Spank Your Child?
Dr. Sommer is passionately against “spanking, corporal punishment, physical punishment, what ever you want to call it.” She says it needs to stop because it has little effect on behavior and can lead to antisocial tendencies in the future.
She Doesn’t Teach ABCs and 1,2,3s
Dr. Sommer isn’t worried about teaching her child her toddler alphabet or how to count. She says that it “doesn’t really help them with anything” but they should spend that time playing because that’s where they learn best.
Play > rote learning for toddlers 🙌 #playbasedlearning #learningthroughplay #playmatters #earlylearning #earlychildhoodeducation #preschool #toddler
Play > rote learning for toddlers 🙌 #playbasedlearning #learningthroughplay #playmatters #earlylearning #earlychildhoodeducation #preschool #toddler
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