Category: News

This article originally appeared on 03.02.20

Though we’re all part of the same species living on the same planet, our experience as humans walking through this world can differ widely. Children see things through a different lens than adults. Women and men have different perspectives on certain issues. And because racism has long been an active element in our society, people with varying amounts of melanin in their skin face specific challenges that others don’t.

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As a white American, I don’t instinctively know what it’s like to walk in a black person’s shoes. I can tell you about the legacy of white supremacy laced throughout our country’s history. I can explain the far-reaching effects of slavery, lynch mobs, Jim Crow laws, redlining, mass incarceration, and more. I can intellectually break down the psychological and sociological impact of centuries of race-based oppression.

But I can’t tell you what it feels like to walk through this world, right now, as a black person—which is why it’s so important to listen to the voices of people who can.

David Summers shared a story on Facebook that reflects the experience of many black Americans—one that can help us non-black folks see through a lens we simply do not and cannot have. Perhaps that’s why it’s been shared more than 20,000 times. From the fear that any object he carries might be mistaken as a gun to figuring out how to smile at a stranger just right so he won’t be considered a threat, the “black thoughts” Summers describes during his walk through a beautiful, white neighborhood—presumably a neighborhood most of us would consider “safe”—are heartbreaking.

He wrote:

“I took a black walk this morning. I took a black walk through a white neighborhood. When I take black walks, I think black thoughts. I am conscious of where I’ve placed my gun, my gun, and my gun. I mean, my phone, my wallet, and my keys. Because Peace Officers have a hard time telling the difference. I rehearse what I’ll say if a concerned resident, or a law enforcement employee has questions about why my black body is walking through their white space. And I remind myself to make sure the law enforcement employee has his body camera recording. Sometimes it helps if there is video evidence to accompany the hashtag.

There is no way to be stealthy when you take a black walk. White neighborhoods are blanketed by a sophisticated security system comprised of nosy neighbors, Ring doorbell cameras, and white women walking their dogs. So, I’ve learned to notice the white world through my periphery. To be aware of the dangers without acknowledging them. There is an art to making white people feel safe. To say ‘Good Morning’ and flash a smile that shows confidence and deference at the same time. To being polite because your life depends on it.

I felt the squad car behind me before I saw it.

It moved deliberately. Not like the other cars mindlessly whizzing past. Its tires inched. Crept. Stalked their way toward me.

I kept walking.

“Don’t take your hands out of your pockets,” I thought. Or wait, maybe I should? Maybe it’s better if my hands are clearly empty. But it’s cold outside…maybe it’s nothing. Keep walking.

The car rolled past me and made a slow right turn. I glanced quickly but didn’t stare. The air is still. My ears tuned out everything but the slight scuff of my sneakers on the sidewalk and the fading sound of those stalking tires.

Almost there.

Suddenly the squad car re-emerged. It was a block ahead of me. It made a quick right turn, continued to the end of the street, and then waited. No more stalking. This was a show of force. This was a roar. This was a reminder that I was trespassing.

I kept walking.

“Don’t take your hands out of your pockets,” I thought. Or wait, maybe I should? Maybe it’s better if my hands are clearly empty. But it’s cold outside…maybe it’s nothing. Keep walking.

The car rolled past me and made a slow right turn. I glanced quickly but didn’t stare. The air is still. My ears tuned out everything but the slight scuff of my sneakers on the sidewalk and the fading sound of those stalking tires.

Almost there.

Suddenly the squad car re-emerged. It was a block ahead of me. It made a quick right turn, continued to the end of the street, and then waited. No more stalking. This was a show of force. This was a roar. This was a reminder that I was trespassing.

I kept walking.

As I approached the corner, the front window began to roll down. The occupant didn’t speak. Didn’t smile. Just stared. I was being warned.

I crossed the street and the lion trotted off. He had effectively marked his territory. The brave protector had done his job.

I however, couldn’t help but wonder what I’d missed during my black walk. It’s hard to hear the birds chirping, or to smile at the squirrels playfully darting along the branches when you’re on a black walk. It’s easy to miss the promise of a light blue sky, or appreciate the audacity of the red, yellow, and purple daisies declaring their independence from the green grass when your mind is preoccupied with black thoughts.

I took a walk through a beautiful neighborhood this morning. But I missed the whole thing.”

Thank you, Mr. Summers, for sharing your “black walk” experience. Hopefully, it will prompt us all to ask ourselves whether our words and actions serve to reinforce or remedy what you’ve described.​

This article originally appeared on 08.03.17

For a lot of parents, the word ‘no’ is almost a gut reaction.

“Can we get ice cream?” “No.”

“Can I stay up a little later? “No.”

“Can we put on the ‘Moana’ soundtrack for the 40th time today?” “NO!”

It makes total sense. Kids and teenagers are constantly pushing boundaries, testing limits, and asking for things (some reasonable and some not).

Usually, as a parent, you have to shut it down.

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One mom recently shared a powerful story about why — though it comes easy to us — we shouldn’t always say no without thinking things through.

Rachel Ann Carpenter posted on Facebook sharing the story of her then-9-year-old daughter Nevaeh … who wanted to dye her hair pink.

“I initially said no because I know how judgmental people can be when it comes to children with colored hair,” Carpenter writes in a Facebook message. “I also figured since she was only 9 she had her whole life to change her hair if she wanted!”

So she said it. ‘No.’

But then, Nevaeh had a terrible accident.

“A few days later at a camp they were doing a demonstration involving fire and something went wrong and it caught her on fire. She had horrible burns over 70% of her body. This time last year we were in the hospital with her not knowing if she was going to live or not.”

Life is way to short to say NO all of the time. This time last year she asked me if she could have pink hair and I said…
Posted by Rachel Ann Carpenter on Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Nevaeh was lucky to survive the fire. And a year later, she asked again if she could dye her hair.

This time, her mom gave an emphatic “Yes!”

“Just because someone is young does not mean they are promised time,” Carpenter says. “I was so glad she was still here to ask me. It is just hair, hair color will fade. Something so easy as colored hair made her extremely happy.”

The story highlights a tough question for parents: Are you drawing real, important boundaries with your kids? Or just saying “no” out of fear or habit?

It’s our job to protect our children from danger or grave mistakes that may severely impact their life, but we can’t protect them against every scraped knee from running too fast on the playground — nor should we.

Most experts agree that taking risks, exploring, experimenting with identity, and making mistakes are all important parts of growing up. Psychologist Randy Cale tells “Psychologies” parents should aim to only step in when safety is a serious concern or when the consequences of a behavior won’t be immediately apparent to them (like eating ice cream for dinner every single night).

And beyond all the child psychology, sometimes it’s just more fun to say “yes.”

“It is so important to let your children live a little,” Carpenter says. “As adults it’s easy to forget what it’s like to be a child and how easy it is to make them happy.”

This article originally appeared on 10.13.17

Imagine you’re getting ready to drop some bad news on someone. Say, breaking off a months-long relationship.

“I’m not sure how to say this,” you start. “This has been really great. Dating you has been a lot of fun. You’re really wonderful. And—” You roll out a string of platitudes and compliments, dreading and delaying the part that comes next, when you finally say “It’s over.”

You think you’re being nice. Protecting their feelings. You don’t want to be coldhearted, right?

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Science, however, says there might be a better way.

A new study finds that, in most cases, a much smaller “buffer” before the bad news is actually preferable. According to the people who matter most.

Alan Manning, a professor of linguistics at Brigham Young University, and Nicole Amare, his research partner, were interested in what he calls the “information design” of giving bad news. Quite literally, how much stuff should you say or write before just getting on with it?

The procedure was simple: 145 volunteers were shown two similar but differently worded versions of the same message, side by side, and asked to choose which they found the least objectionable. (Stuff in the vein of, “Your car is being recalled” all the way to “Let’s break up” or “You’re fired.”)

Manning says, in most cases, there was a clear preference for the more concise message.

Participants also mostly responded that clarity and directness were more important than how considerate the message was.

The findings contradict a lot of the previous research, Manning says, which stressed buffers and positivity and silver linings. He says when you just talk to people, you get a different story: “When you ask people if they want the bad news straight-up, they almost always say yes.”

If bad-news recipients just want it straight, why do we tend to draw it out?

Manning says it’s because we’re looking out for ourselves. It’s easier and makes us feel better to beat around the bush a little bit.

Turns out, the whole thing is a practical exercise in empathy.

“One of the great challenges of growing up and being a fully functioning adult is being fully aware of other people’s needs around you and not just your own,” he says.

He hopes the study will help people become better deliverers of bad news, and, ultimately, take better care of each other. He urges us to think critically about how sensitive the message we’re delivering is and to respond appropriately. Don’t be callous, he says, and blurt out “I’m breaking up with you,” before even saying “Hi.” But a smaller buffer is almost always appreciated by the recipient.

It’s hard to break old habits. It’s even harder to be direct. But getting and giving bad news is part of our daily lives. It’ll be worth the effort to do it right.

Last week, Netflix unveiled something they long vowed they’d never do: an ad-supported version of their service. Subscribers were fleeing; money, which had been spent on blockbuster-sized budgets, was drying up. It had to be done, evidently. But it’s been a chaotic roll-out, and the way they’ve implemented their new tactic already has its critics, including certain high-profile “content creators.”

As per CNBC, multiple sources say Shonda Rhimes — whose Netflix shows include Bridgerton and Inventing Anna — is among those who’ve complained about the ads. They say they interrupt their storytelling, their flow. After all, these shows (and movies) were not made with commercial breaks in mind.

Among others who’ve complained are Intrepid Pictures, who’ve put such shows and films as The Haunting of Hill House, directed by Mike Flanagan (who is also reportedly nonplussed). One episode of that show is comprised of five long takes over 50 minutes. They’re now rudely interrupted by ads, killing not only the tension but the filmmaking. One reason Intrepid signed up with Netflix was because of their lack of ads.

Netflix executives have tried to cushion the blow of the ads, saying they try to find places where breaks make sense, or as much as they possibly can. Some who’ve worked with Netflix have not complained about the ads, including Ryan Murphy and The Queen’s Gambit’s Scott Frank.

That said, there’s one thing Netflix won’t be doing with those who make shows and movies for them: sharing the revenue from those ads with them. Indeed, the only thing they can do about the ads is complain about them — or complain if their shows or movies aren’t even a part of the ad-supported version.

(Via CNBC)

Aaron Carter, singer and brother of Backstreet Boys’ Nick Carter, has reportedly died. TMZ was first to report that police had been called to his address after word of a suspicious death. A source confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter that it was Carter himself. He was 38 years old.

Multiple sources told TMZ that Carter had been found dead in his bathtub. There is no evidence of foul play. Photos obtained by TMZ show sheriffs’ cars and paramedics, as well as caution tape, outside his home in Lancaster, California.

Carter got his start opening for his older brother’s band back on their 1997 tour. He enjoyed fame as a solo artist; his debut album, simply titled Aaron Carter, went Gold. His follow-up, Aaron’s Party (Come and Get It), was even more popular, going triple platinum and boasting the singles “I Want Candy,” “Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)” and “That’s How I Beat Shaq.” For that album, he opened for Backstreet Boys, again, as well as Britney Spears for her Oops!…I Did It Again tour.

Carter transitioned into rap and also did some acting. He made his Broadway debut in 2001 as part of Seussical the Musical. He came out as bisexual in 2017. Last year, he partook in a celebrity boxing match with Lamar Odom. He’s survived by his son Prince.

(Via THR and TMZ)

Ron DeSantis might be president one day. Maybe not in the wake of the 2024 election, but one day. He’ll almost certainly continue to be Florida’s governor, even if he won’t commit to spending all four years in office. Still, he has a dodgy track record, and a new report by The New York Times about his stint, in his early 20s, as a high school teacher only adds to his infamy.

In the early aughts, at age 23, DeSantis spent a year teaching history and coaching baseball and football at Darlington School, an independent private school in northwest Georgia (which, incidentally, is today represented by Marjorie Taylor Greene). He was a fresh-faced Ivy League graduate, ambitious and arrogant. He made it clear he wasn’t long for the school, destined for greater things — like, say, governor of a state and arch-nemesis of a future former president.

As coach, DeSantis was reportedly helpful and inspirational. As a history teacher, however, he was extremely questionable. Former students, who made him the talk of their 20th reunion, told NYT that they questioned the veracity of the claims he made in class, especially about the Civil War. What’s more, he was allegedly “mean” and “hostile” to some of the school’s Black students. One such student remembers how he treated her:

“Mr. Ron, Mr. DeSantis, was mean to me and hostile toward me,” said Ms. Pompey, who graduated in 2003. “Not aggressively, but passively, because I was Black.”

She recalled Mr. DeSantis teaching Civil War in a way that sounded to her like an attempt to justify slavery.

“Like in history class, he was trying to play devil’s advocate that the South had good reason to fight that war, to kill other people, over owning people — Black people,” she said. “He was trying to say, ‘It’s not OK to own people, but they had property, businesses.’”

DeSantis’ factually dubious claims about the Civil War — including that every city in the South had burned, prompting one student to point out that her hometown, Savannah, had not — were such that students even made a satirical video about him:

The video, which was reviewed by <em>The Times</em>, includes a short snippet in which a voice purporting to be Mr. DeSantis is heard saying: “The Civil War was not about slavery! It was about two competing economic systems. One was in the North. …” while a student dozes in class. (A student voiced the role of Mr. DeSantis, because students did not have any actual footage of him, according to a student who helped put it together.)

Unsurprisingly, DeSantis also professed his hardline anti-abortion views in class.

Oh, and he reportedly wasn’t above partying with teens:

Several students recalled that Mr. DeSantis was a frequent presence at parties with the seniors who lived in town. Most spoke about socializing with him on the condition of anonymity because they feared backlash for speaking publicly about it.

“As an 18-year-old, I remember thinking, ‘What are you doing here, dude?’” one former student said.

He would also allegedly attend parties with recent graduates. And he had a terrible haircut.

Cut two decades, and not only is DeSantis a governor and presidential hopeful, but a guy who still bullies students. Sometimes people don’t change.

(Via NYT)

Lord have mercy, check out this punt. The game of the day in the world of college football takes place in Athens, where the third-ranked Georgia Bulldogs are playing host to the top-ranked Tennessee Volunteers in a game with SEC East, SEC, and College Football Playoff implications. There are a ton of exceptional players involved in the game, but the best play of the game — of the season, of the decade, of all time — comes via Bulldog punter Brett Thorson.

The Dawgs found themselves lining up to boot it from their own 24, because going for it on fourth-and-4 from there would have been a bad idea. Thorson lined up to kick it, and the next thing you knew, we had ourselves a 75-yard coffin corner punt that pinned the high-powered Vols offense at their own 1.

It can be easy to get a bit hyperbolic about punts, but in all seriousness, it is dang near impossible to get this bounce and have the ball land where it does. Even his own teammate thought he had to go after it to prevent the ball from going into the end zone! The Dawgs deserved to get points for this, because it was beyond impressive.

The Indiana Pacers have managed to start the 2022-23 NBA season 4-5. While it’s not the most flashy record in the world, it’s respectable for a team that was expected to spend this year competing for ping pong balls in the 2023 NBA Draft Lottery. But unfortunately for the Pacers, one member of the rotation will head to the sideline for the next few weeks.

According to Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN, second-year guard Chris Duarte suffered a high ankle sprain that is expected to keep him out for the next 4-6 weeks.

Duarte rolled his ankle early on in Indiana’s game against the Miami Heat on Friday night when he landed on Kyle Lowry while trying to contest a layup.

The Pacers took Duarte, an older prospect out of the University of Oregon, with the 13th overall pick in the 2021 NBA Draft. While the team struggled last year, Duarte was a bright spot, as he earned All-Rookie Second Team honors and looked like a player the team could build around going forward.

So far this season, Duarte has appeared in all nine games with five of them coming as part of the starting lineup. He’s averaged 8.9 points in 19.7 minutes per game while connecting on 34.2 percent of his attempts from behind the three-point line.

Tennessee football fans are feeling themselves a bit right now. The Volunteers are the No. 1 team in the country in the inaugural College Football Playoff rankings, they knocked off Alabama in one of the games of their year, and starting quarterback Hendon Hooker is one of the favorites to win the Heisman Trophy. It’s quite the rise for a team that was unranked coming into the 2022 college football season, and on Saturday, they have perhaps their steepest test yet, as they travel to Athens to take on the defending champion Georgia Bulldogs.

While the Vols enter the game as substantial underdogs — Georgia is favored by nine points — the vibes surrounding Josh Heupel’s squad are sensational right now. As evidence of how well things are going, here is a Vols fan on College GameDay absolutely housing an entire bottle of yellow mustard.

Despite being someone who loves mustard, I cannot condone eating a whole bottle of French’s. Anyway, if you are wondering why this person did this, it goes beyond “I wanted to be on television.” Earlier this week, Hooker signed French’s first ever NIL deal in the aftermath of the one-year anniversary of a 2021 game against Ole Miss in which a Vols fan threw a bottle of mustard onto the field to protest decisions made by the officials. Or maybe this guy just really likes mustard.

Before Donald Trump was president of the United States, he was just guy on Twitter. His tweets didn’t yet do things like unsettle the world economy. (Nor was he yet an Axl Rose whipping boy.) He was just some bozo with too much time on his hands, tweeting out his dumb thoughts on a public sphere. One of those tweets, from 2012, was about Kate Middleton, who had semi-recently become the Duchess of Cambridge. And it was so crude that it may have permanently pissed off members of the Royal Family.

Newsweek obtained a copy of Christopher Andersen’s forthcoming book The King: The Life of Charles III, and like many tomes about modern day world affairs, it’s got some dirt on the 45th president. Only about six months into her marriage to Prince William, a Danish tabloid published pictures of her on a nude beach during her honeymoon. It created a scandal. Lawsuits were filed. And Trump — a man prone to skeevy thoughts he sometimes makes public — weighed in.

“Kate Middleton is great – but she shouldn’t be sunbathing in the nude – only herself to blame,” Trump tweeted. “Who wouldn’t take Kate’s picture and make lots of money if she does the nude sunbathing thing? Come on Kate!”

Well, members of the Royal family were not amused, especially given Trump’s history of lusting after some of them, as per Newsweek:

The former U.S. president sparked “torrents of profanity” from Charles, Prince William and Prince Harry after he said that Kate Middleton had “only herself to blame” for topless photographs taken without her consent and published in French magazine Closer.

Trump also left Charles “disappointed” after referring to him as the “Prince of Whales,” spelled like the sea mammals, rather than the “Prince of Wales,” author Christopher Andersen wrote in The King: The Life of Charles III. Trump suggesting that he “could have nailed” Princess Diana, if he had wanted to, also “didn’t help.”

Andersen himself elaborated upon Trump’s feeling for Princess Diana:

“It didn’t help that Trump had aggressively pursued Princess Diana after her divorce—overtures that were rebuffed—and claimed later on a radio program that he could have ‘nailed her if I wanted to,’ but only if she passed an HIV test.”

Cut to 2017, when Trump was planning on visiting Britain. The Royals had no forgotten about his previous comments. Princes Charles, William, and Harry reportedly “burned up the phone lines” trying to work behind the scenes to discourage his visit. Trump later cancelled the trip, claiming it was because of some Obama-era real estate deal that made him mad.

Charles seems to have never forgiven Trump. When he was being impeached for the first (of two) times, Charles followed it closely, at one point reportedly remarking, “What a ghastly, awful man.” (Perhaps this will all wind up on The Crown one day.)

Still, at least one of his jokes had a fan. Camilla, now the Queen Consort, reportedly told a friend she “couldn’t stop laughing” at Trump’s “Prince of Whales” line — which, you know, props.

(Via Newsweek)