Taylor Swift is a mastermind. She said so herself on the 13th track of Midnights, her 10th studio album out today (October 21), and she reaffirmed it with Midnights (3am Edition)in the middle of the night, giving fans seven additional songs to try and digest. One of them is “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve,” and the seemingly on-point fan theories are flying.
The early belief is that “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” is about John Mayer. The clues are strong. The song is No. 19 on the tracklist. The torching chorus finds Swift lamenting, “I would’ve stayed on my knees / And I damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil / At nineteen.” Who was Swift linked to when she was 19 years old? Mayer, who was 32 then. They reportedly dated briefly between 2009 and 2010.
“Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” wouldn’t be the first Mayer-adjacent track in Swift’s discography. Track five of her October 2010 album Speak Now was titled “Dear John” and similarly cites a toxic situationship from her 19th year in the chorus: “Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong / Don’t you think nineteen’s too young / To be played by your dark, twisted games when I loved you so?”
Elsewhere on Midnights, Swiftie sleuths have spotted a 30 Rock reference and a mysterious voice on “Midnight Rain.” And while all signs indicate another reflection on a regrettable involvement with Mayer, the more important question is whether Swift coyly confirmed an engagement to Joe Alwyn, her boyfriend of six years, in the first verse of “Sweet Nothing.” She co-wrote the Midnights song with William Bowery, Alwyn’s pseudonym, and the first verse might allude to an engagement ring: “I spy with my little tired eye / Tiny as a firefly, a pebble / That we picked up last July / Down deep inside your pocket / We almost forgot it.”
The term “big d*ck energy” was popularized on (where else) Twitter after one of Ariana Grande‘s Twitter followers asked the pop star, “How long is pete???” Pete is, of course, now-former SNL cast member Pete Davidson, who she was dating at the time. Grande replied, “like 10 inches… oh f*ck… I mean… like a lil over a minute.”
Davidson wasn’t thrilled that Grande “talked all that sh*t for my penis,” he said during a standup show. “Everything is huge to her. Why would she tell everyone that I have a huge penis? So that every girl who sees my dick for the rest of my life is disappointed.” But it wasn’t all bad: at least the “BD” in “BDE” really freaked out Kanye West.
Kanye West was full of stress after his ex-wife Kim Kardashian started dating comedian Pete Davidson — telling friends he was upset about his longtime partner being with a “white boy with a” large member. The revelation came out on The Brilliant Idiots podcast with hosts Andrew Schulz and Charlamagne Tha God.
After West spewed anti-Semitic bullsh*t on a now-deleted episode of the Drink Champs podcast, Charlamagne recalled a phone call he had with the “abusive psychopath” rapper, who was not thrilled about Kardashian dating Davidson. West allegedly said, “My wife is out here f*cking a white boy with a 10-inch penis and you won’t help me? My wife is out here f*cking a white boy with a 10-inch penis and you’re telling me that’s your friend, but you’re supposed to be culture?” All Charlamagne could do was laugh at West.
You can listen to the The Brilliant Idiots podcast below.
On his podcast, @cthagod says Kanye West called him last November about Pete Davidson:
“He’s going on and on and then finally he goes, ‘MY WIFE IS OUT HERE FUCKING A WHITE BOY WITH A 10-INCH PENIS AND YOU WON’T HELP ME!'” pic.twitter.com/ffm9AMeOgH
JID, whose third Dreamville album The Forever Story has become a sleeper hit since its release in August, has been much more visible of late than he was before the project’s release. In a prior interview this year, though, he talked about how his career could have gone in a different direction with a deal from Quality Control instead of Dreamville. And while it’s fun to imagine that alternate branch of the hip-hop multiverse, it turns out that JID was in higher demand than previously suspected, giving us even more possibilities to contemplate.
In a new interview with The Breakfast Club, JID explained why he turned down another, “disgusting” deal from another Atlanta-based label, which was fronted by one of the city’s own rap royals. “Me and EarthGang was about to sign -– not ’bout to, we was not about to do it once we saw the deal –- we got offered a deal from Rich Homie Quan,” he recalled. “I don’t even remember specifically, but … straight crack sandwiches.” However, he clarified that all the communication was with representatives of the label, not Rich Home Quan himself. Ultimately, though, both he and Earthgang signed with Dreamville and it’s paid off so far.
Watch JID’s full interview with The Breakfast Club above.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE – It could work
England is in turmoil. You might have heard about it. Their Prime Minister, Liz Truss, resigned after a chaotic 45-day run that sent financial markets into the toilet and general confidence in the government down there with it. It was almost impressive, really, especially when you consider the thing where she will now, apparently, collect a pension of somewhere around $125,000 a year. England, here is my promise to you: If asked, I will give you 50 days of leadership for that price. I’ll go as high as 60. Two full months. The cost-savings are undeniable. Ask any economist.
There are a few small issues with this plan, though. Mainly that I am not British. I’ve never even been to England. I feel like that could be a problem. Also, I do not want to do it. It seems hard and really just not very fun. What we need here is someone who is familiar with the area. Someone who has experience tackling difficult jobs. Someone with the type of natural leadership skills and gravitas to unite a troubled nation. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen.
Miramax
Presenting the three-part case for letting Jason Statham be the next prime minister of England.
Part One: I think people would listen to Jason Statham
I would. If I were a member of Parliament and Jason Statham walked in and gave a speech and maybe banged a gavel a little bit, I bet I would get all pumped up and follow along with whatever he said. I suppose this could be a problem if Jason Statham goes mad with power and starts ruling like a tyrant, but I do not think he would do that. Jason Statham seems pretty cool. The people need someone to rally around in these troubled times and I think Statham is the man for the job.
Part Two: He can do stuff like this
CANAL+
I do not know when or even if the need will arise for the Prime Minister of England to slide down an American flag and onto a jet ski and then flip a model over his shoulder and scream off into the high seas to right some sort of current or historical wrong, but I think I would feel better knowing that option is on the table. Just in case. Just to be safe.
Not all crises take place at sea, though. Some take place above ground. Luckily, Statham has the people covered here as well.
Summit Entertainment
Any dork with a calculator can balance a budget. It takes a real leader to leap from a gondola to a passing hang glider when the situation calls for it. Which it might. You don’t know. And you’ll feel really dumb if you go ahead and install some feeble old man in the position and then he’s up on top of a gondola but is too scared to leap to the passing hang glider. The whole country could be at risk. You need to consider things like this. For the good of the land.
Part Three: I would like it
I really would. It would make me so happy. I would like to see him meet with various heads of state and pose for photos and grip their hands so tight while they are shaking that you can see little winces of pain in their eyes. I want to see him roundhouse kick a rival who is holding up a signature piece of his legislation. I want to see him show up to negotiations with Putin on a dirtbike that he ramps up over a gate and flies into the Kremlin straight through an open window. I think it could work. Probably.
Maybe.
I will also accept Paddington Bear as an alternative. I do not know many other British people or bears. I feel like this is a good start, though. Thank you and good luck to the people of England.
ITEM NUMBER TWO – I am ready for the good movie
It’s kind of wild that the first Creed movie worked. It would have been easy for all of that to miss in tremendous fashion. A movie about a kid Apollo Creed never knew he had getting trained by Rocky to be a fighter like his dad is… there’s a lot of room for error there. Especially given the trajectory of the whole franchise to that point. Things could have gotten really corny really fast. And yet! It was good! So good! Like, legitimately in the conversation for best and most rewatchable sports movies ever! It’s basically a magic trick.
And now, here we are, closing in on a decade later, and there’s a trailer for a third movie in the spinoff of a franchise that started 45 years ago and saw Sylvester Stallone fight both Hulk Hogan and Mr. T and end the Cold War with his fists on Christmas Day and I’m… god, I’m pumped up. Watch that trailer. Watch Jonathan Majors glare and glisten and look just generally like he could put his fist through a cement wall if the urge struck him. I’m ready for it right now. It doesn’t come out until next year but I’m ready now. Look at the description!
Five years after Creed II, after dominating the boxing world, Adonis “Donnie” Creed has been thriving in both his career and family life. When a childhood friend and former boxing prodigy, Damian “Dame” Anderson, resurfaces after serving a long sentence in prison, he is eager to prove that he deserves his shot in the ring. The face-off between former friends is more than just a fight. To settle the score, Donnie must put his future on the line to battle Dame – a fighter who has nothing to lose.
I love it. I love all of it. I love that the antagonist is lit and posed like he’s the devil and he is literally named Damian. I love that Michael B. Jordan has taken ownership of the franchise to the degree that he’s directing this one. I love that Jonathan Majors is kind of playing Mike Tyson but more menacing. It’s great. I hope they make 100 of them.
Good for everyone involved in this. Including me. We are all doing great.
ITEM NUMBER THREE – This is going to be the best press tour
Getty Image
Harrison Ford is joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I know this because I am a professional and because my Twitter timeline was filled with headlines like “Harrison Ford Is Joining The Marvel Cinematic Universe” and because a lot of those headlines were on top of articles like this one at Deadline that read like someone was running into your living room and telling you about it while they were catching their breath.
EXCLUSIVE: It’s official. Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones franchise) will be taking over the Marvel role of General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross, beginning with Phase 5 title Captain America: New World Order. He’ll star opposite Anthony Mackie, with Shira Haas, Tim Blake Nelson and Carl Lumbly also among the ensemble.
So, the three things are notable here, and I think I can rip them out via bullet point:
Reasonable arguments can be made that no one in history has more experience dealing with breathless nerds than Harrison Ford, given his 50-year history as Han Solo in Star Wars
Harrison Ford is also so old and famous and wildly successful that he has no obligation to play nice when someone asks him a dumb question, or even a good question, and he seems to really enjoy being cranky whenever he can
I honestly cannot wait for this press tour just to see if Harrison Ford goes to Comic-Con and some kid asks him if he thinks Han Solo could defeat Thanos and Harrison Ford just stares at him and sighs and says “Kid… who cares?”
Yeah, that about covers it. Also, when things like this happen, it’s fun to pretend like you have never heard of Star Wars. Like, just act dumbfounded when people mention it. Act all righteous about Harrison Ford joining some fantasy franchise like he doesn’t have a whole lifetime of dealing with it all. People hate it. It’s really a lot of fun.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR – Your periodic reminder that two things can be true at once
HBO
Okay. Here’s what’s going on. GQ interviewed Alan Moore, a legend in the field of comics who always gives quotes in interviews about how much he hates when his comics are adapted for any size of screen anywhere, and they asked him about the HBO adaptation of Watchmen that Damon Lindelof did, the one that starred Regina King and James Wolk and Jeremy Irons. You remember that show. The one where James Wolk said the phrase “squid pro quo” and Regina King shouted emmeffers every episode or two, like in the screencap up there.
Anyway, Alan Moore hated it and did not like the way Lindelof approached him about it. Which he was happy to elaborate on.
I explained that I had disowned the work in question, and partly that was because the film industry and the comics industry seemed to have created things that had nothing to do with my work, but which would be associated with it in the public mind. I said, “Look, this is embarrassing to me. I don’t want anything to do with you or your show. Please don’t bother me again.”
When I saw the television industry awards that the Watchmen television show had apparently won, I thought, “Oh, god, perhaps a large part of the public, this is what they think Watchmen was?” They think that it was a dark, gritty, dystopian superhero franchise that was something to do with white supremacism. Did they not understand Watchmen? Watchmen was nearly 40 years ago and was relatively simple in comparison with a lot of my later work. What are the chances that they broadly understood anything since? This tends to make me feel less than fond of those works. They mean a bit less in my heart.
What we have here is yet another one of those situations where two different things can be true at the same time. The first thing is that, yes, sure, Alan Moore — anyone who creates something, really, the person who made a thing where there was once nothing — is allowed to be annoyed that other people are taking his stories and characters and adapting them in new and different ways than he intended when he first dreamed them all up. That’s fair. Imagine how mad you would be if you made something and some other joker came along years later and was like “I loved it but actually I think what you meant was this…” You get to hate it if you want. That’s your right.
But the other true thing is that the Watchmen series in question here was really, really good. Just a blast, a take on good versus evil and race in America that was still enjoyable from beginning to end. At one point, Regina King’s character was chasing a dude called Lube Man and if you never watched the show and are wondering why he was called Lube Man then it brings me great pleasure to share this clip with you.
I am sad that Alan Moore did not like the show. I really am. I get it, again, but it is a bummer, just generally. I’ll tell you who did like it, though: me. I might watch it again over the winter when it’s too dark and cold to go anywhere. You can do it, too, if you want. Let’s just agree to not tell Alan Moore any of this, though. It seems like it bums him out a lot. We can keep this one between us.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE – Sick
It brings me great pleasure to inform you all that Zac Efron’s eco-travel series Down to Earth is returning to Netflix for a second season very soon and that he and his buddy Darrin are off to Australia this time. For the whole season. They play with cute little animals and zipline through trees and learn about all sorts of cool Australian nature stuff. That’s the trailer for it up there.
I need to stress here that my excitement about this is not ironic. I can understand why you might think that, given who I am and what I do and the words I used to describe all of this in this first paragraph. I am not being ironic though. I actually, truly enjoyed the first season of the show. It was the most pure and sincere thing I’ve ever seen and Zac Efron would listen to some scientist explain how some turbine is saving the environment and Zac would ponder it for a second and reply “Sick.” Which, like, he wasn’t wrong. It was pretty sick. We should all go through life with this attitude.
Look at this screencap from his trip to Sardinia in season one, where he learned that the inhabitants of the island live to 100 years old in greater numbers than most places on Earth thanks to a diet that features reasonable consumption of carbs, which Zac had just eliminated from his life for months to film the Baywatch movie.
Netflix
Look at this screencap, which does not need any context and sums up everything I said about the show much more efficiently than all the words I typed.
Netflix
It’s a good show. It’s fun. It teaches you stuff and it teaches Zac stuff and it’s all so earnest and nice and sincere and I kind of can’t believe how excited I got when I saw this trailer earlier this week. It’s all pretty sick.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Phil:
Hey man, just wanted to say thank you for reminding me about the “WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO” video. I have watched it a million times this week after not watching it at all for a few years. Every part of it is so good, but I’m mostly surprised I never noticed that the guy in the front PULLS OUT A KNIFE AT THE END. How did I miss that until now? It makes me want to go back and rewatch other viral videos from years gone by to see what else I missed. Maybe Bigfoot is in the background of “Charlie bit my finger” and no one ever noticed.
Hmm. Yes. Good email. And a great excuse for me to post the video again.
I had noticed the knife thing before this recent revival in my brain, but it took me probably 20 times before that happened. It’s such a wild little chaotic touch on what is already maybe a perfect video. Part of me wants to see everything that happened leading up to this that convinced someone to start filming. Part of me wants to let the mystery be. Most of me is just looking for excuses to get into arguments that I can storm away from while shouting “Grow up!” at people.
This section took me 20 minutes to write because I watched the video five more times while typing.
A milk truck was stolen from a Lower Sackville parking lot early Monday afternoon.
BROAD DAYLIGHT MILK TRUCK HEIST
RCMP say it was being used to make a delivery on Sackville Drive at the time.
Three things here:
I need you to get a good image in your head of this driver calling his supervisor just after lunch on a Monday and explaining to him or her that someone just stole his milk truck
I have a lot of respect for the dude who saw an idling milk truck with the keys in the ignition and was like “today is the day”
This seems like the kind of story we shouldn’t research too much more because it has the potential to get less fun real quick
Let’s proceed… carefully.
The truck was spotted heading down the Bedford Highway towards Halifax, but when an officer tried to pull it over, the suspect didn’t stop.
Officers started patrolling the area and found the truck abandoned on the end of Basinview Drive.
MILK TRUCK HIGH-SPEED CHASE QUESTION MARK
Mounties called in police dogs to help search for the driver and they were able to track the suspect down in the woods just before 3 p.m.
Okay, one more visual, then we can put a pin in this…
You’re at work on the 15th floor of a downtown high-rise. It’s a Monday. You just got done with lunch and are staring at a pile of papers you need to sort through before a meeting. You have that post-meal drowsiness kicking in, which isn’t helped by the sun blasting in through your window and making everything just warm enough to be exhausting. Your eyelids begin to droop.
But then.
You hear a commotion outside.
Tires screeching, people shouting.
You look down to the street and see a milk truck come screaming around a corner with a dozen Mounties on horseback behind it.
You watch them fly past you and continue on down the street.
You blink.
You blink again.
You try to comprehend what you just saw.
You sit back down.
You would think about this every day for the rest of your life.
Peated whisky is probably the most divisive juice in the whole whiskey world. Some folks love it for its medicinal vibes, ashen qualities, and tarmac depths, while others feel like they’re being forced to drink from an old ashtray full of used Band-Aids.
The whiskies I tasted below have a pretty wide range, from Scotland (obviously), Japan, the U.S., and Israel. Some of them are very peated. I mean, massively, heavily peated. It was… a lot. Others are so lightly peated that they might even pass as un-peated to the uninitiated. The point of that range was to point out that peated whisky isn’t a monolith. Multitudes, and so forth.
Our lineup today is:
Octomore 13.3
Bowmore 15
Benriach Smoke Season
Yamazaki Peated
Ardbeg Hypernova
M&H Elements Peated
Lost Lantern 2022 Single Cask #12
MacNair’s Lum Reek
Laphroaig Càirdeas Warehouse 1
When it comes to ranking these peated whiskies, I went on taste alone. But with peaties, that means a little more. I was looking for depth of flavor, sure, but it was also about, what else is there? Are there layers of flavor that make sense and tell a story with the peat? Or is it just whisky-filled ashtrays with Band-Aid floaters? Let’s find out!
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of The Last Six Months
The nose is a subtle mix of salted caramel with sweet caramel malts, apricot jam, gingerbread, and a touch of nasturtium with a whisper of smoked apples and pears before the ashen peat starts sneaking in. The palate opens with smoked brown sugar next to rich marzipan with a hint of Almond Joy next to Kiwi boot wax, orange marmalade, dried roses, lemon pepper, and a hint of oyster liquor. The end has a caramel maltiness that’s just kissed with sea salt and potpourri cut with mild dark spices and more of that marzipan, finishing on a light fruit soda vibe.
This was pretty nice overall. It was very peaty, but more tied to fruit and caramel than ash and tar.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a dash of chocolate malts next to rum-raisin, meaty dates, and sourdough bread crusts with a hint of butter and fig jam. The palate has a woody vibe that’s part cedar box and part orchard wood smoking chips next to prune, dried cherry tobacco, salted pear chips, and a hint of smoked cinnamon. The end boils down some plums and figs into a hazelnut spiced cake with a touch of oatmeal cookie, walnut, sultanas, and nutmeg leading to cinnamon-apple tobacco packed into that old cedar box.
Damn, this was smooth and delicious. It’s also very lightly peated and much more akin to a sweet malt (or bourbon even) with a hint of sweet smoke lurking in the far background.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Rich caramel comes through with old oak and burnt orange next to smoke vanilla pods, cold charcoal, and a hint of tarmac. The palate leans into that soft vanilla with a bold singed apple wood smokiness next to creamed honey, burnt cinnamon sticks, and more burnt orange rind. The end amps up the citrus and spicy smokiness with a smoked salted caramel maltiness next to burnt citrus peels and apple chips.
This was a lot. The peated fruitiness verged on bitter and burnt more than sweet and smoky.
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a light line of smoke that has a minerality to it alongside nuances of a pipping hot fireplace burning dried fir and cedar that leads to dried caraway on whole wheat toast with sour salted butter and bitter orange marmalade and a hint of orchard bark ash. The palate veers away from all of that toward seared pineapple and salted papaya with a sense of red-hot rocks in the dirt next to smoldering lime leaves and burnt orange. The end singes some cedar park and pine coal while leathery dark dates and prunes mingle with mulled wine spices, dark molasses, and rich vanilla cream on the lush finish.
This takes you on a journey. There’s nuance and depth throughout. But wow, this ends luxuriously. It’s kind of amazing.
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This is massively peated from the jump with freshly lain asphalt mingling with fireplace ash, old Weber grills left out in the rain, and hurricane lamp oil with a burnt wick and maybe some burnt apple chips next to smoldering hickory. The palate opens with burnt cacao nibs and over-roasted espresso beans with a clear peatiness tied to burnt oyster shells and fresh Ace Bandages with a mix of star anise, salted black licorice, clove, and fennel next to Mounds bars. The end has a heavily smoked vibe that’s kind of like smudging some wild sage while boiling heavily roasted coffee on the stove with a sense of an electric-coil burner raging in bright orange underneath the pot.
This is a slap in the face with a diamond ring turned toward the palm of that slapping hand. …I kind of want another slap.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a nice sense of light orchard fruits next to sea salt malts with a slight caramel vibe and some fresh lemon oils with a dash of black pepper. The palate has a mild brininess with a hint of vanilla pudding, gingerbread, and more of that bright lemon. The end brings it all together with a lemon cake vibe with smoked sugar icing and a dash of vanilla and winter spice.
This whisky feels downright soft compared to the last pour. That said, it’s subtle but vibrant.
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Holy shit! You can smell the ABVs on the nose of this one alongside heavily smoked maple bacon with freshly cracked black pepper and a hint of smoked brisket fat next to old figs, smoked almonds, and some bitter orange soda. The palate is blown out by the massive ABVs. Hints of bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers mingle with prune jam and old burnt caramel malts next to burnt cacao nibs and orange rinds. The end just keeps getting hotter as a whisper of old porch wicker and boot leather sneaks in under the fire of a thousand suns burning malts and coffee beans.
This needed a rock ASAP.
[I had to take a five-minute break and palate cleanse after this. It completely blew out my palate.]
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Soft toffee and old leather mingle on the nose with a dash of freshly ground nutmeg over a mocha latte with a hint of cinnamon and toasted clove/orange. The palate leans into the chocolate malts with a slightly singed twinge that leads to spiced honey, fresh heather, and old boot leather. The end is full of that dark chocolate malt and spiced honey with a touch of smoked espresso and salted caramel.
This was nice. It wasn’t amazing but hit the spot for something easy-to-drink and rewarding.
Taste 9
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Here we go again. The nose opens with a huge note of smoked grainy malts next to an un-opened box of Band-Aids, peppery smoked brisket with plenty of smoked fat, and smoked sea salt counterpointed by vanilla sheet cake with a honey icing and dusted with cinnamon and nutmeg. The palate opens with burnt yet buttery toffee next to white wildflowers, dried fennel, and rich and creamy honey smoothness and sweetness. The end gets a little woody with a fatty smoked peppery vibe next to more toffee and a dash of seawater-washed granite.
This is a pretty solid finish to this panel. It’s not my cup of tea but, goddamn, it’s well-rounded and easy to drink.
This whiskey is made from a mash bill of 100% malted barley imported from Scotland to Colorado. The hot juice is filled into a new American oak barrel and left to mature for five years. Then the good folks at Lost Lantern came along and found this single barrel to bottle completely as-is, only yielding 164 bottles.
Bottom Line:
This Hazmat whiskey (any bottle over 70% ABV/140 proof) was just too hot. It needed a lot of water and a rock or two to both calm it down and let it bloom in the glass. On its own, it blows out your palate and you’re left with a buzzing mouth more than any flavor profile. But hey, maybe that’s your thing.
This new whisky from the famed Dr. Rachel Barrie is a blend of peated malts from deep in the warehouses. The blend is a mix of American virgin oak and bourbon barrels that held peated malt for an undisclosed amount of time. Those barrels were vatted for this batch and just kissed with that iconic Speyside water before bottling.
Bottom Line:
This was nice enough. There was a lot of peatiness that was very burnt though, which was ashy and bitter. Again, that might be your jam. It’s just not mine.
This blended malt from the famed Glenallachie Distillery in Aberlour is probably better known for providing juice for iconic blends like Chivas. This blend marries peaty malts with sweeter Speyside malts to create a sherry-forward dram.
Bottom Line:
This was subtle but a little unremarkable. It got the job done and had a nice flavor profile. It just didn’t stick out as bad or great. It was just… fine.
This Israeli peated malt is aged in ex-bourbon and ex-Islay peated malt casks for an undisclosed amount of time. Those barrels are vatted and then proofed down with local water before bottling.
Bottom Line:
This was pretty good overall. It wasn’t revelatory but had a good balance and delivered a subtle peated flavor profile with layers. Though I think I would use this more for cocktails than as a sipper.
This year’s Càirdeas release celebrates the Friends of Laphroaig and how they keep the brand going. The juice in the bottle is made from Laphroaig’s high-phenol peated malt right next to the sea on Islay. The hot spirit was then filled in first-fill limited edition single barrel Maker’s Mark bourbon barrels. The barrels were then stored in the famed four-story Warehouse 1 right next to the crashing sea until they were just right and then bottled as-is after vatting.
Bottom Line:
This was really solid but just not my cup of tea. That said, the layers, complexity, and depth were spot on and delivered a really great overall profile. If you’re into those medicinal peaties, then this is for you.
This whisky starts with heavily peated malts with phenol levels above 170ppm. Translation: this is a peat monster. From there, mad scientist Dr. Bill Lumsden selected the peatiest of the peaty barrels for a batch and dumped them into Ardbeg’s special tun (mixing vat) for a final rest before adding a little Islay spring water and bottling.
Bottom Line:
This was a lot, but in the best way possible. It almost is daring you to not like it. And that’s somehow endearing and delicious. I don’t know how the math works but it just does.
This brand-new limited edition Octomore from Bruichladdich is all about Islay. The whisky is made from heavily peated malts grown on the island (most malts are shipping in from the mainland) back in 2015. In 2016, the whisky was distilled right by the sea at Bruichladdich and then loaded into first-fill, ex-American whiskey casks and second-fill European oak casks from the Rivesaltes region of France and the Ribera del Duero region of Spain. After five years, the casks were vatted and then bottled completely as-is.
Bottom Line:
This was subtle and really nice overall. The sweetness helped calm down the peat to the point that you had a nice balance where nothing overwhelmed you on the palate.
This bottle from Islay’s Bowmore is a 15-year-old whisky that’s a blend of American and European oak. For the first 12 years, this whisky rests in ex-bourbon barrels. For the last three years, the whisky is transferred to Oloroso sherry casks. The whisky is then finished with local spring water, bringing it down to a very approachable 86-proof.
Bottom Line:
This was super supple and subtle. There’s a very minor note of peat that’s an accent to the rest of the palate. This also has a subtle bourbon-y vibe that makes it a great candidate for anyone looking to test the Islay-peated waters if coming from the bourbon world.
This “hidden” gem from Japan is made from heavily peated malted barley, grown and malted locally. Once barreled, those whiskies are left to mature until they hit a stellar flavor profile (not a year number). Those casks are then masterfully blended and just touched with local spring water.
Bottom Line:
This was above and beyond. It was so clearly the best whisky. It’s also just a delight to sip on. You’ll always find something new and interesting that’ll only deepen your love for this amazingly well-crafted juice.
Part 3: Final Thoughts
Zach Johnston
This was a bold flight of whiskies. I think that Yamazaki Peated Malt is impossible to beat this year — in the peated whisky world. And look, I get it, the price is crazy. But, my god, that’s an amazing pour of hooch.
Coming down from the stars, grab yourself a bottle of Bowmore 15, especially if you’re already into bourbon or rye whiskeys. It’s a great stepping stone and has a wonderfully nuanced and subtle vibe. And if you want to go hog wild on the peat, then the new Ardbeg Hypernova is the bottle for you. It’s a peaty slap in the face with a nice sting that’s a little addicting on the palate.
The O.G. Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio (who is now 60 years old and looks over a decade younger), saw the publication of his memoir, Waxing On: The Karate Kid And Me, this week. He recently spoke with us about a number of Cobra Kai-related subjects, including one of my favorite Season 5 quotes that popped up after ultimate karate nemesis Terry Silver declared the impending end of Miyagi-do. To that, Daniel LaRusso responded, “The roots are strong, so the tree will survive.”
At that point, Daniel ushered in the spirit of Mr. Miyagi and also whipped out the crane kick, defeating the franchise’s “Bond villain” and ensuring that the good guys would win this round. What that means for the future of the Netflix show, no one seems to know, but this week, Macchio visited the WTF With Marc Maron podcast, where he mentioned that he’d love to see the franchise go deep on Mr. Miyagi’s origins. In addition, Macchio revealed to Hollywood Reporter that “they are working on it.”
Who is “they”? Macchio isn’t clear whether this could involve Netflix or Cobra Kai creators Jon Hurwitz, Josh Heald, and Hayden Schlossberg. There’s also the curious matter of a mystery Sony movie that’s related to Cobra Kai but somehow doesn’t involved any of the current cast members. It’s all very nebulous! But here’s what Macchio related to THR:
“Yes, they are working on it. It’s in the discussion stages. Cobra Kai does such a good job of unveiling all the layers of these characters and exploring where they came from, their pasts and their backstories. And if you go on Twitter or social media, people ask about Miyagi, who, in essence, is the secret sauce of the film because of the character and [Pat Morita’s] performance. Who was that guy? What was he like as a teenager? What was he like when he first came to the United States? Who was he when he went to World War II? What happened after he loses his wife and child in the internment camps? How does this guy come from Okinawa to a place where he was working as a maintenance guy at an apartment building? What’s that full story? So, yeah, there are discussions, but that’s all I have.”
No one would complain about firing up a Miyagi origin story, so long as Miyagi continues to get his due. And that goes right along with Macchio turning down endless pitches over the years that would would include Ghost Miyagi counseling Daniel-san on how to raise his own kid or something. If you’re wanting more of the late Pat Morita right now, though, More Than Miyagi is a riveting watch for any fan (or detractor) of the crane kick.
GloRilla’s Twitter features a gorilla emoji by her name and Ice Age‘s famous sloth Sid as her profile picture. The Philadelphia Eagles paid homage to her in the end zone last weekend. But don’t expect the Memphis rapper to add “The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)” to her playlist anytime soon (or maybe do): GloRilla seemingly learned about the fox’s real-life existence in the animal kingdom during a recent visit to KISS FM UK.
Henrie, Kiss FM host and DJ, casually mentioned “people say that they hate foxes taking a poo in their garden” as what was supposed to be a throwaway comment about past absurd things guests have said on the show. “Foxes?” GloRilla interjected with a confused look. “What’s them? The animal fox? Y’all got them out here?”
Henrie asked if GloRilla had seen one yet, while induced more confounded facial expressions, and encouraged her to come to South London if she wants to see a fox because “they own the streets here.”
“So they like dogs?” GloRilla asked, also wondering if they’re orange. Henrie explained that they’re like undomesticated dogs, even though some British people still treat them like pets. “I can’t believe it,” GloRilla said. “I never even knew foxes was real.”
The most famous NBA game that never happened occurred on March 11, 2020. That was the night where Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell, both of the Utah Jazz, tested positive for COVID-19, which led to the league getting shut down in the early days of the pandemic in the United States. It happened on the same night that Tom Hanks received a positive COVID test, and played a major role in Americans learning about the gravity of the situation.
In the immediate aftermath, there were a number of reports that Mitchell was furious with Gobert, who tested positive before he did. The thought at the time was that Gobert testing positive first meant that he gave the virus to Mitchell, which led to rumors that the constantly scrutinized relationship between the two might not have been salvageable.
A lot has happened since then, both in their careers and how we understand the way that COVID works. And during a recent appearance on JJ Redick’s podcast, Mitchell admitted that while his understanding of the virus is miles beyond what it was then, he was not especially happy with Gobert for how things went that night.
“It was a weird time, though, cause nobody really knew what it was, right?” Redick said at the 5:29 mark of the above video. “And I was very much like, ‘I just don’t wanna get it. As an athlete, a respiratory illness, I don’t wanna get it.’ When you tested positive, were you scared shitless, or did you kind of feel like, ‘Alright, I’ma be alright, cause I’m young’?”
“I was angry, I’m not gonna lie to you,” Mitchell said. “I would say out of all the media reports that have ever come out about me, Rudy, and the team, that was probably the most accurate. I was mad. I thought, at the time — cause we didn’t know — I thought because Rudy was around doing whatever, that that was the reason I got it. Now, we don’t know, I could’ve given it to him without contact, whatever it was. We don’t know, now looking back at it.”
The two are, of course, no longer teammates, as Utah traded Gobert to the Minnesota Timberwolves and Mitchell to the Cleveland Cavaliers this offseason.
Track five holds a special place in the heart of every Taylor Swift fan.
It’s “All Too Well.” It’s “Delicate.” It’s “Dear John.” It’s the “vulnerable, personal, honest, emotional song,” she explained before the release of Lover. “So because [the fans] noticed this, I kind of started to put the songs that were really honest, emotional, vulnerable, and personal as track five.” There are lists devoted to not only Swift’s best songs, but specifically Swift’s best track fives — which now includes “You’re On Your Own, Kid,” the fifth track on her new LP, Midnights. It’s too early to compare it to “My Tears Ricochet” and “The Archer” (Midnights hasn’t even been out for more than one midnight), but it’s not too soon to call it the best song on the album.
“Summer went away, still the yearning stays / I play it cool with the best of them,” the song begins, Swift’s voice sounding higher than usual. She’s pining for a guy who doesn’t feel the same way about her. He’d rather smoke with the boys than spend time with her, but she’s determined. She would leave her hometown, but “there’s just one who could make me stay.” There’s a vibe shift in the pre-chorus, however. “I search the party of better bodies / Just to learn that you never cared,” she sings before hitting one of her shortest, yet still effective choruses: “You’re on your own, kid, you always have been.” I’ll admit to being skeptical about the cutesy song title — until I realized the “kid” is her.
In the second verse, Swift is no longer enraptured by the hometown boy: “I picked the petals, he loves me not.” She’d rather spend time in her bedroom, writing her songs, or planning her escape. It recalls something Swift said in her New York University commencement speech: “Not being invited to the parties and sleepovers in my hometown made me feel hopelessly lonely, but because I felt alone, I would sit in my room and write the songs that would get me a ticket somewhere else.” Later in the speech, she added, “How do I give advice to this many people about their life choices? I won’t. Scary news is: You’re on your own now. Cool news is: You’re on your own now.”
Sound familiar?
But the main reason why “You’re On Your Own, Kid” is the standout on an album full of future setlist favorites is the bridge. Swift is a master of the bridge; she uses them to shake things up, to raise the drama and heighten the emotional impact. “All Too Well,” “Champagne Problems,” and “Death By a Thousand Cuts” are her bridge masterpieces — her Brooklyn Bridge, if you will — but “You’re On Your Own, Kid” isn’t far behind.
Here’s when a track five becomes a TRACK FIVE:
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this
I hosted parties and starved my body
Like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss
The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money
My friends from home don’t know what to say
I looked around in a blood-soaked gown
And I saw something they can’t take away
‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned
Everything you lose is a step you take
So, make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it
You’ve got no reason to be afraid
It’s all there: the hurried vocals to match the tension; the swirling production; the vulnerable confessions (Swift has struggled with an eating disorder in the past, making the “starved my body” line hit extra hard); and her growth as a musician and a person. “You’re On Your Own, Kid” seems to say that whatever you’re struggling with — it could be a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a move to a new city — might seem impossible in the moment, but don’t be afraid. You’re on your own, kid, but things will be OK. You can face this. It’s an important lesson at any time of the day or (mid)night.
A few days ago, Taylor Swift unveiled her lineup of activities scheduled for around the release of new album Midnights (which is out now). The most tantalizing of them was something she only called a “special very chaotic surprise.” Now, we know what that is: at 3 a.m. ET this morning, Swift released Midnights (3am Edition), which features seven additional songs not included on the base album.
Those songs are “The Great War,” “Bigger Than The Whole Sky,” “Paris,” “High Infidelity,” “Glitch,” “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve,” and “Dear Reader.”
In a post announcing the songs, Swift wrote, “Surprise! I think of Midnights as a complete concept album, with those 13 songs forming a full picture of the intensities of that mystifying, mad hour. However! There were other songs we wrote on our journey to find that magic 13. I’m calling them 3am tracks. Lately I’ve been loving the feeling of sharing more of our creative process with you, like we do with From The Vault tracks. So it’s 3am and I’m giving them to you now.”
There are actually even more bonus Midnights songs to be had beyond this: The deluxe CD edition includes “Hits Different,” “You’re On Your Own, Kid (Strings Remix),” and “Sweet Nothing (Piano Remix).”
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