Much like Jack Dawson, Constance Wu figures life’s a gift and she doesn’t intend on wasting it. So if she gets the opportunity to make a Titanic (emphasis on the first three letters) joke on Celebrity Jeopardy, she’s going to do it.
Heading into Final Jeopardy during Sunday’s episode of the game show’s primetime spinoff, Ike Barinholtz was leading with $37,200, followed by the Fresh Off the Boat star at $23,000 and NBA Countdown analyst Jalen Rose with $1,000. The category: Newspaper Headlines. The clue: “A New York Times headline about this disaster included ‘866 rescued’ and ‘noted names missing.’” The correct answer was “What is the Titanic,” which Wu knew. But instead of writing “Titanic,” she pronounced it “Tit-anic,” earning a bleep from the censors — and after wagering it all, a final total of zero.
abc
“Oh my god. I meant Titanic,” Wu countered. “Some people call the Titanic the Tit. This is a well-known fact.” Sean Connery would be proud of her. According to Yahoo! Entertainment, “even though Wu didn’t get the final answer correct, her charity will receive a $30,000 donation from the show. She was playing for the Lotus Therapy Fund under the Asian Mental Health Collective.” Meanwhile, Barinholtz advances to the next round, along with Marvel star Simu Liu and comedian Iliza Shlesinger.
Yesterday (October 9), Kanye West made waves when he tweeted, “I’m a bit sleepy tonight but when I wake up I’m going death con 3 On JEWISH PEOPLE The funny thing is I actually can’t be Anti Semitic because black people are actually Jew also You guys have toyed with me and tried to black ball anyone whoever opposes your agenda.”
This came after Ye shared some similarly anti-Semitic thoughts on Instagram. Both Instagram and Twitter responded by suspending the rapper from their platforms. Now, Jack Antonoff, a Jewish person, has offered his own reaction, sharing a tweet late last night (October 9) that reads simply, “Kanye a little b*tch.”
Antonoff has shown he’s not afraid to get into some beef online. After Gorillaz’s Damon Albarn claimed earlier this year that Taylor Swift doesn’t write her own songs, Antonoff, a Swift collaborator, tweeted, “i’ve never met damon albarn and he’s never been to my studio but apparently he knows more than the rest of us about all those songs taylor writes and brings in. herb.”
In a later podcast interview, Antonoff said, “I don’t mind talking sh*t, this or that, but I don’t like it when artists take almost this Trumpian approach of just making things up. I don’t care if Damon Albarn or anyone likes or doesn’t like something. But to unequivocally make a statement that isn’t true, that you actually have no idea about, and not to get too deep on it, but isn’t that kind of everything that’s wrong with our world at the moment? Is just people talking about sh*t at they have no clue about?”
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
On November 12, 2021, the moment Britney Spears had been anticipating and dreaming of for years came to fruition: Her years-long conservatorship was officially terminated. She was thrilled at the time and has expressed joy over her newly autonomous life many times since then. She did so over the weekend, too, in a new video in which she celebrates nearly a year post-conservatorship.
In the video, Spears talks to the camera and says, “Hi, so it’s been a really long time since I’ve spoken to you guys. It’s been just eight months since my conservatorship of 15 years has been over. And I’m in Mexico right now and it’s really hot and […] joy to you all.” The video then cuts to clips of Spears at what looks like some sort of street fair, hanging out with a small monkey whose owner named it Justin Bieber.
Spears also writes alongside her post, “It’s been almost a year since I became a free woman !!! F*ck yes !!! Wheee [smiling emojis] !!! Psss the monkey’s name is Justin Bieber [rose emojis] [crying-laughing emojis] !!!”
Based on the length of Spears’ hair in the video, it appears it was filmed before her recent clip teasing her new shorter haircut. Since she says it’s been “just eight months” since her conservatorship, it would appear the clip was recorded around this past July.
Spears didn’t like the reception that aforementioned hair-focused upload (which is no longer viewable) received, writing in a follow-up post, “I was shocked to see how many comments there were under my post l did yesterday. I looked and good god people are absolutely hateful !!! It saddens me to realize a person who watches something on Instagram that doesn’t even know me takes the time to even comment and say such hateful words !!! What a sad life !!! Yes I’m sensitive so it hurt my feelings.”
I don’t mean my bluff specifically. I refer to anyone who felt (as I did) that 2020’s Notes On A Conditional Form was the band “at their most bloated and self-important.” I certainly was not alone in thinking that the fourth album by The 1975 signified a nadir for the swaggering British pop-rock band. During an endless 10-month promotional rollout preceding the release, frontman Matty Healy repeatedly wrote checks his artistic and intellectual abilities could not possibly cash, boldly proclaiming that The 1975 was “the definitive band” of the 2010s and patting himself on the back for his alleged prescience in foreseeing a global pandemic via a handful of vague and mealy-mounted lyrical references on the new record. When Conditional Form finally dropped, it fell well short of justifying such bluster, unfolding instead as one of the worst sequenced and overly padded superstar albums in recent memory, a garish slog choked by tiresome spoken-word tracks and forgettable genre experiments that blotted out a smattering of nice pop tunes.
At the close of my review, I issued a challenge: “At this point, a more noble experiment for The 1975 would be to write an album where every song is good, or at least necessary. They haven’t done that yet.” Lest I be accused of Healy-esque self-delusion, this was not an uncommon request. A band that — at its best — specializes in addictive singles that lean shamelessly on provocation and retro ’80s signifiers, The 1975 over time have been miscast as an “important” band with something meaningful to say about online culture. In reality, Healy has almost nothing original to offer on the subject. (Social media connects us while simultaneously driving us apart — a garden-variety reply guy will tell you the same.) He’s a pop star, not a philosopher. The misguided insistence to the contrary has indulged his band’s penchant for making overlong and overstuffed albums that detract from their core strength as a fun and trashy radio band.
That might sound heretical to The 1975’s devoted fanbase. But it appears that Healy and his bandmates have come around to this way of thinking, based on their new album out this week, Being Funny In A Foreign Language. It is, dare I say, a relatively modest affair, composed of 11 songs guided mainly by the band’s poppiest instincts. (Put another way: The bulk of the album resembles “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You).”) I’ll go one step further and declare that every song, per request, is good and definitely necessary. There are no lectures from Greta Thunberg set against ambient soundscapes this time around. Every track breezes by and goes down more or less enjoyably. Being Funny In A Foreign Language sounds like the Pretty Woman soundtrack if it had been composed exclusively of Roxette and Go West songs, possibly the highest compliment I can pay to The 1975. It is an album that has won back at least one former fan/current detractor. Cue the “Michael Corleone in The Godfather Part III” GIF. Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.
My unexpected enjoyment of Being Funny In A Foreign Language immediately prompted a series of questions in my mind: What about the people who have never strayed from this band? The ones who insist that making overlong and overstuffed albums is the point of The 1975? Does removing some of the self-importance also take away their sense of purpose? Is a “better” album by The 1975 actually less entertaining?
I suspect that my bi-polar feelings about The 1975 have leaned positive lately due in part to the rise of Harry Styles, the reigning Ken doll of British pop, whose relentless nice-guy act has made me re-evaluate the utility of a rakish troll like Healy. Unlike Styles, whose aggressive geniality grows more grating the higher his star soars, Healy isn’t shy about deliberately making himself look like a cad (or merely an airhead) in his songs. The first single from Being Funny, the Bon Iver-like pocket symphony “Part Of The Band,” immediately laid down the gauntlet for reactionaries, with Healy dropping a bevy of cringe-inducing groaners about “vaccinista tote bag chic baristas” and “communista keisters writing about their ejaculations” before inevitably launching into some trendy self-examination: “Am I ironically woke? The butt of my joke? Or am I just some post-coke, average, skinny bloke calling his ego imagination?”
Admittedly, I took the bait when that song dropped this summer. But when heard “Part Of The Band” in the context of Being Funny In Foreign Language, it made a lot more sense. On the album, Healy mostly ditches the messianic “spokesman of a generation” posturing that made Notes On A Conditional Form so insufferable. In the process, he’s made it easier to buy into the idea that he’s self-aware about The 1975’s most absurd excesses. Take the album’s first song, titled “The 1975” in the manner of all the band’s lead-off album tracks, in which he references QAnon and riffs on doom-scrolling and the internet’s negative impact on the body images of teenage girls. On paper, it could be interpreted as yet another example of Healy lunging in vain for topical profundity. But Healy’s musings are set to music that so obviously rips off LCD Soundsystem’s “All My Friends” that it can only be taken as a sly, tongue-in-cheek joke.
Even funnier is the album’s last song, the quasi-Americana number “When We Are Together,” which I can’t help hearing as a parody of the innocuous folk-pop “good boyfriend” songs that make up Styles’ blockbuster 2022 LP, Harry’s House. “I like socks with sandals, she’s more into scented candles,” Healy sings, echoing the bland suburban rom-com fantasies that recur throughout Styles’ catalogue. Then comes the kicker: “It was poorly handled, the day we both got canceled because I’m a racist and you’re some kind of slag.”
For those still wary about wading back in with The 1975: Healy only says “canceled” twice on the record. For the most part, this a collection of pop tunes about love, as evidenced by songs like “Happiness,” “I’m In Love With You,” and “Looking For Somebody (To Love),” which stick to the band’s usual electro-pop wheelhouse. The decision to work with producer Jack Antonoff might have read initially as a transparent bid to retrench after a polarizing misfire — Healy himself has seemed defensive about it in interviews – but they prove to be a natural match. Antonoff, after all, is a derivative but undeniably skilled craftsman whose laser-focus on reproducing big-ticket, late-20th-century pop sounds suits The 1975 well, whether it’s the blue-eyed soul of “All I Need To Hear” or the blurry Britpop balladry of “About You.”
But what about the nagging question regarding this band’s sense of purpose? The paradox of Being Funny In A Foreign Language is that it’s both the most consistent 1975 album and the least significant. There are no misses here, but there are also no smash hits. For a band accustomed to taking big swings, a record of doubles and triples might seem underwhelming. Of course, The 1975 seem hardwired against ever delivering a completely satisfying album. For now, I’ll settle for them being a little less annoying.
Madonna, who famously kissed Britney Spears at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, appears to have come out as gay in a recent TikTok video.
In the five-second clip, a pink-haired Madonna wearing extra-large cream-colored sweatpants and a matching corset top, holds up a pair of pink underwear. On-screen text reads, “If I miss, I’m Gay!” as Madonna attempts to shoot her crumpled up underwear into a wastebasket. She misses by a long shot, before facing the lens and throwing her hand up in the air, as if to confirm what she wanted to say in cryptic fashion: She’s gay.
It would seem as though the Queen Of Pop has been dropping hints leading up to this apparent reveal. She recently said that she was “gagging to work with Britney [Spears] again,” an expression which evoked memories of that shocking on-stage kiss that the pair shared nearly 20 years ago. Madonna has even shared a notable kiss with another women as of late: She locked lips with Dominican rapper Tokischa in the video for a “Hung Up” remix that came out last month.
Madonna has been an icon for sexual expression all throughout the ’80s, ’90s, and still today. She has always supported freedom of love, no matter what a person’s gender is or isn’t. And if this video is indeed how she wants to tell the world about her sexual identity, then kudos to her.
before you clown madonna’s look, just remember that woman was holding fundraisers for AIDS when other celebs wouldn’t even talk about gays for fear of losing their careers. yeah her aesthetics can be wacky but she is always mother pic.twitter.com/A21KTbiT2N
The fact that most ppl always thought Madonna was straight is so ironic. She’s been considered one of the biggest gay icons since the 80s but ppl thought she was an ally until today even tho she’s been openly bi since the 90s. It’s so wild if you think about it.
Multiple times per week, our TV and film experts will list the most important ten streaming selections for you to pop into your queues. We’re not strictly operating upon reviews or accrued streaming clicks (although yes, we’ve scoured the streaming site charts) but, instead, upon those selections that are really worth noticing amid the churning sea of content. There’s a lot out there, after all, and your time is valuable.
TIE: 10. Andor (Star Wars series streaming on Disney+)
Alright, so this show doesn’t have Baby Yoda, but that’s actually (hear me out) a bonus. Diego Luna returns as Cassian Andor in a grounded, methodical, grown-up story from a galaxy far, far away. Star Wars fans get a special bonus here, in that the series will eventually be 24 episodes long. That allows the show to do a slower burn than Obi-Wan received, and the storytelling should be better for it. In other words, instead of a gimmicky smooshing together of a re-teamed rivalry, we’re getting a true character story of a rebel hero, one that we haven’t seen enough of until now.
Get ready for King Charles to lose his wits and (have his people) say something improper when Season 5 arrives with a new principal cast. That season will take on the departure of Diana from her doomed marriage to the long-time prince, who wouldn’t stay away from Camilla and (allegedly) couldn’t stomach how the press (and the public) embraced his first wife. We know that Diana’s story ended in a tragic paparazzi pursuit, after the show let everything hang out and sh*t all over the fairy tale in Season 4. Before we see how the Royal Family handles the continued Diana story, return to where it all began with Claire Foy, Vanessa Kirby, and Matt Smith as the O.G. stars.
Mike Flanagan can’t miss when it comes to spooky show on Netflix, given his success with The Haunting Of Hill House (and its followup) as well as the (incredible) Midnight Mass. This show, however, gears itself towards scaring the hell out of a younger crowd while adapting Christopher Pike’s novel about a hospice for teens with terminal diagnoses. The group gathers ’round for secret meetings during the witching hour, and expect plenty of fun to be poked at jump scares. However, all members must vow to reach out from the dead if possible, and what results is a surprisingly profound journey for this group who are making the most of their limited remaining time on Earth.
This season is still kicking up top-of-the-chart numbers for Netflix, as well as stirring up nostalgia in the most effective way while also captivating the younger generation, who’s invested in the infighting between warring senseis. Karate supervillain Terry Silver is no longer literally dealing in toxic waste, but he’s inspiring the rest of the adults (including a glorious amount of Chozen) to band together and realize that they’ve got the “Eye of the Tiger” while the franchise attempts to figure out what’s coming next. A separately-cast movie is in the works, but we’re still hanging tight on news for more seasons.
This epic fantasy extravaganza doesn’t inspire as much social media on a week-to-week basis as Game of Thrones does, but both series have lasting power while adapting tomes from the greats. J.R.R. Tolkien fans can now feast their eyes upon the fabled Second Age of Middle-earth, so we’re getting a completely different set of stories than the Peter Jackson films. Jeff Bezos also seems very keen to keep funding this beautiful beast, so a second season is definitely a go. That won’t thrill anti-woke viewers, but the show (and young Galadriel) will keep rising.
Clive Barker’s iconic Pinhead takes a gender-bending spin in this reboot movie that kicks some ass but reminds everyone that villains can be rational, too. Yes, there’s a mysterious ancient box (didn’t your mama warn you about opening those?) that unleashes the Cenobites, and a fresh new Hell Priest is upon us. Get ready for buckets and buckets of blood, just in time for you to start planning your Halloween costume, mull over dressing as Pinhead, and then decide that being Carmy from The Bear or anyone wearing a Squid Game tracksuit will be much easier.
A second season renewal has already happened while the first season’s only getting started. What you need to know, however, is that Anne Rice’s Louis and Lestat are decloseted (in this update to the blockbuster 1990s movie starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt), and that’s only one of the reason why this show happens to be better than the original in translating the spirit of Rice’s most popular gothic novel to the screen. Jacob Anderson of Game of Thrones gives us a historically relevant Louis, and Sam Reid gives us a Lestat de Lioncourt who is both more subtle and more outrageous than his predecessor. Soon, we’ll also be able to watch Alexandra Daddario in The Mayfair Witches, so AMC is really bringing it for fans of Anne Rice’s kingdom.
Make no mistake, this film is a tough watch. Ana de Armas really goes though the paces in this film directed by Andrew Dominik, who previously promised that the movie would contain aspects “to offend everyone.” The (dramatized) acts of Charlie Chaplin Jr. and JFK could trigger a lot of people, but it’s important to remember that this film isn’t a standardized biopic. Rather, we’re seeing an adaptation of Joyce Carol Oates’ expansive novel about a somewhat fictionalized spin on Marilyn Monroe’s legacy.
Mila Kunis’ presence makes up for any pacing shortcomings involved in this adaptation of Jessica Knoll’s bestselling novel that will remind people of a glossier version of Gillian Flynn’s Dark Places. And let’s just say that Mila’s character has seen some sh*t. Theoretically, she’s lucky to have survived both a mass killing and other devastations that require a trigger warning before you start streaming this selection. However, some PTSD naturally comes into light, and a documentary filmmaker surfaces some memories that would best be forgotten. In the end, some dark truths might shake up her whole world even more, but at least we have some good news: Scoot McNairy co-stars in this horrific ride.
2. Dahmer — Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story (Netflix series) and Conversations With A Killer: The Jeffrey Dahmer Tapes (Netflix docuseries)
A few weeks ago, the masses clamored all over the Evan Peters-starring season directed by Ryan Murphy, and that trend hasn’t let up yet. Now, Joe Berlinger arrives with a docuseries approach that digs into the procedural intricacies involved with taking down a prolific serial killer and cannibal. Get ready to hear “what’s that smell?” over and over again, but more than that, realize that people must really be ready for Halloween this year. Lock those doors, so you won’t have to get up from your couch in the middle of binging this madness.
You still can’t beat the House of Targaryen, even though (eventually) the dynasty will be beat. Hopefully, people will actually be able to see this week’s episode, so that we can follow up on that fateful wedding that somehow didn’t end in slaughter. Yet! Expect to see newfound power guy Aemond Targaryen all grown up now, and as always, we shall see Contenders vs. Defenders for the Iron Throne. Somehow, King Viserys I is still kicking, but his misery continues to entertain the masses, so even though we know that he doesn’t live forever, we can hope.
(SPOILERS for this week’s Power Book III: Raising Kanan will be found below.)
Episode seven in season two of Power Book III: Raising Kanan brought us closer and closer to many breaking points and crucial moments with the series’ characters. We learn that Raq’s interactions with Cartier are purely business rather romantical, though it appears that he isn’t aware of that yet. Detective Burke continues to work the case around Detective Howard’s shooting, and while she hasn’t solved it quite yet, she discovers a big secret from his past. Marvin completes his anger management class but does little to manage his need for revenge and Lou-Lou kills Crown Camacho for attempting to get him out of the record label business. Last but not least, Kanan cheats on his girlfriend Corinne with her mother Palomar.
In episode eight, A House Is Not A Home, each character reaches a new breaking point in their individual stories throughout. Raq and Kanan’s relationship becomes more strained than ever while decisions from Marvin and Lou-Lou catch up to them, risking the future and stability of the drug operation. Howard learns about the depths of Burke’s investigation into his shooting and Jukebox has a harsh revelation about her mother Kenya while somewhat reconnecting with her dad.
Here are some of the biggest questions we had after the third episode of season two:
Will Palomar Leave Kanan Alone For Good?
Episode seven concludes with Corinne catching Kanan and Palomar in bed, and in the following scene, we see Corinne meeting with Raq to presumably inform her about Kanan and Palomar. In A House Is Not A Home, we learn that Corinne did inform Raq about Kanan and Palomar. Raq issues a strict warning to Palomar to leave Kanan alone — she even goes as far as to threaten her with a gun. Palomar was quite infatuated with Kanan, but after Raq’s visit, she informs Kanan that their time together has come to an end despite Kanan’s promises that Raq’s threats are all talk. With it not being Palomar’s first foray with someone much younger than her, it remains to be seen if she will actually stay away from Kanan, especially with her living in the same building as his close friend Famous. If she chooses not to, she should know that there’s a big risk at hand.
Can Marvin Repair His Relationship With Jukebox?
As we hinted last week, Jukebox’s sexual preference would be something she’d have to open up to her mother about as they continue to build their relationship. Turns out, Kenya already knew about it, but rather than accept her daughter for it, she sought the church’s help to “correct her” and ensure that she “makes it” into heaven. Kenya goes to the extreme to ensure this and it leaves Jukebox emotionally and mentally scarred by the ordeal. It also leaves Marvin extremely furious when he learns about what happened. Marvin goes with Jukebox to confront Kenya and that moment stands as the first time that Marvin and Jukebox were on the same team this season. A conversation between them later proves that there is promise for better with their relationship going forward, especially as Marvin shows improvement in his own behavior and the understanding of his anger. Time will only tell between these two, but the sign point towards the positive.
Is It Too Late For Raq And Kanan To Talk Things Out?
Kanan is still upset with Raq for lying to him about who his father is, and while he’s yet to confront her about it, they continue to move closer and closer toward an explosive moment. Things get exponentially worse after Raq threatens Palomar, a move that frustrates Kanan more than he’s ever been with Raq. He and Raq have a near-confrontational moment with each other as Raq shows him the new house she bought. Here, Raq can tell that Kanan has something he wants to say to her, and she may even know that it’s about his father, but she won’t bring it up until Kanan does — or rather, until he has the audacity to. It’s a complicated and very damaging way to handle their issue when Raq could just come clean to her son. Additionally, Kanan could also just rip the bandaid off and ask his mom the question that’s been burning in his mind for pretty much all of season two. Either way, Kanan or Raq should act before their relationship dwindles to a point of no return.
Will Marvin Be Able To Right His Wrongs?
There are two ways to look at this question. There’s the very obvious question of whether or not Marvin was the one shot at the end of episode eight. If he survives, he’ll be able to continue working on his relationship with his daughter Jukebox as well as exploring the possible romance between him and Renee. However, it’s a bit more than this possible death. Marvin just can’t seem to stay out of his own way. He takes one step forward all to take two steps back immediately after. Marvin didn’t need to put a hit on Toni (his former love interest who snitched on him to the police), but he just had to get back at her. Marvin wants to right his wrongs, as we see during his interaction with Jukebox, but it appears that his wrongs won’t give him the right to do so.
Whose Past Will Catch Up To Them First?
The theme in A House Is Not A Home is essentially “don’t get too comfortable.” Each of the characters thinks they have moved forward from certain, but new events proved that things are about to blow up in their face soon. The Italians shoot at Marvin while he’s out with Renee, and it remains to be seen whether he, Renee, or neither is the victim. This shooting is in retaliation for an associate of the Italians dying during a hit job Marvin paid him for. Crown Camacho’s body resurfaces, which will surely bring trouble to Lou-Lou. Scrappy’s mother is out for the truth about her deceased son which could also mean trouble for Raq. Burke was caught digging a bit too deep into Howard’s file while investigating his shooting, and while that will strain their work relationship, it also brings her one step closer to solving the shooting which is also a problem for Kanan. Things won’t always be picture-perfect for the Raising Kanan crew, and with season two just a couple of weeks from wrapping up, it looks like things are about to get really bad for one of the aforementioned names. We’ll just have to see who it is in the next episodes of Power Book III: Raising Kanan.
New episodes of STARZ’s ‘Power Book III: Raising Kanan’ are available to watch on Sundays at 12:00am EST.
House of the Dragon’s eighth episode, “Lord of the Tides” has everything: a final time jump, a dramatic family dinner, a (deserved) beheading, and a heartbreaking character death. It’s a spectacular hour of television, grounded by a few mesmerizing performances, a visceral score, and another shocking plot twist that left us hanging from the cliff’s edge … of our own sanity.
So, what does all of that mean for the line of succession? Let’s recap.
The Pretenders
HBO
Vaemond Velaryon
Vaemond Velaryon gets to keep his tongue this week but he loses his head instead which, considering the swine that spewed from his mouth in the throne room, is a generosity we didn’t think Daemon was capable of. It’s clear Vaemond has always resented Rhaenyra’s children – he interrupted his niece’s funeral to lob some petty digs at the then prepubescent children in episode seven – but his gung-ho attitude when it came to usurping his brother’s throne before he was cold in his watery grave was surprising all the same. How long was he conspiring with the Hightowers to make this chess move and why did no one notice? His ability to bring the succession dispute all the way to King’s Landing and force Rhaenyra to defend her claim should worry Team Black fans because clearly, one side of this rivalry is better at political gameplay than the other. Thankfully, Vaemond couldn’t suppress his toxic personality for long enough to let House Targaryen implode on itself – instead throwing some pretty unoriginal insults Rhaneyra’s way and getting his head lobbed off in the process. Rest in … whatever the opposite of peace is, my dude.
Otto Hightower
At first glance, it seems Otto is sitting pretty as King Regent while his old buddy rots like a slab of month-old deli meat that’s made residence in the darkest corner of a cluttered fridge. He’s ruling alongside his daughter, he’s creating fissures and fractures in Team Black’s alliance by backing Vaemond’s claim to the Driftmark throne, and he’s installed some god-awful décor in the Red Keep. This is what winning looks like to a scheming, dried-up prune who doesn’t believe a woman should rule the Seven Kingdoms – or that beard oil is really a thing. But he’s only amassed such power because Rhaenyra and Daemon have been absent from Kings Landing and the fact that their mere presence galvanizes the king to do what’s right, sways his daughter’s loyalties, and exposes the weaknesses in his own choice for heir, speaks volumes. This guy is only as dangerous as the Targaryens allow him to be.
Aegon Targaryen
Speaking of royal impotence, Aegon is fully on his Joffrey Baratheon bullsh*t this week, sexually assaulting young chambermaids and crying to his mother afterward. Unlike Cersei, Alicent seems to have a more difficult time excusing her boy’s bad behavior, even disinheriting him at one point – which, let’s be honest, this episode can’t possibly mark the first time she’s done that – but she still protects him from any real consequences meaning he continues to learn zero lessons and make a fool of himself at family dinners. Gods help the realm if this kid becomes king.
The Contenders
HBO
Rhaenyra Targaryen
We don’t begrudge Rhaenyra a few years of peace with her children and baby daddy on Dragonstone, but this episode proved she’s been away from King’s Landing for far too long. Her father’s a bleached potato, her frenemy has Joanna Gaines-ed her childhood home, and her nephews have been training for battle while her own boys try to perfect their Valyrian accents. Even if the hope is to avoid a war for the throne, you have to be prepared for the worst possible outcome. That comes with the job of being queen. Despite this glaring lack of foresight, Rhaenyra manages to light a spark in her decrepit old dad, reaffirming her son’s claim – and by extension, her own – making alliances with her estranged aunt, and even almost repairing her friendship with Alicent. Things went really, really well for Rhaenyra this week … naturally, we’re terrified.
Viserys Targaryen
Viserys Targaryen was a good man, but he made for a terrible king. That fact is probably the most tragic truth of this show. A sense of morality and justice really has no place in the game for the iron throne and because he lacked the cutthroat nature to command that sharply-pointed seat it eventually killed him. What we will say about Viserys in this episode is that he tried. To make amends for his poor choices. To right the wrongs he’d been complicit in. To mend bridges we thought had been burned decades earlier. Did he succeed? Probably not, but Paddy Considine gave a heartbreaking final performance that highlighted the best of who Viserys was – a man who truly loved his daughter and wanted his family to prosper. Rest in actual peace, my king.
Rhaenys Targaryen
Even after all of that sweet, sentimental b.s. we just said about Viserys, if Rhaenys had been placed on the Iron Throne in his stead, we would not be having these problems, okay? Not only has she competently ruled Driftmark in her husband’s stead – six years fighting in the Step Stones is one hell of a way to have a mid-life crisis, Corlys – but she also uses this question of succession to her advantage, in more ways than one. She gains power over the woman she believes had her son killed, she ensures her granddaughters are heirs to both the Iron Throne and House Velaryon’s seat, and she deposes of a particularly grating nuisance with her brother-in-law’s beheading. All by keeping her mouth shut, letting the vipers around her panic, and speaking little and only when necessary. A true queen.
Daemon Targaryen
Daemon Targaryen is firmly in his malewife era at the moment. He’s hunting for dragon’s eggs, he’s having babies with his niece – yeah, still weird – he’s number one stepdad to Rhaenyra’s sons. Life at Dragonstone is pretty f*cking blissful so, naturally, the chaos at King’s Landing must ruin it. The good thing about more succession drama this week means we get to see a bit of sass from this domesticated dragon while he sizes up his nephew Aemond and pokes holes in the Hightower plot for the throne. Even when he struggles to look upon the melting garbage bag that is his older brother, Daemon is fighting for his family’s legacy, pushing Viserys to defend Rhaenyra’s claim whenever he can, helping the old bag-o-bones crawl his way to the throne, and slicing heads off challengers’ necks. We low-key missed how messy Daemon can be, even without his “time to commit crime” hoodie.
Aemond Targaryen
Someone on social media labeled Prince Aemond the “SHEIN Daemon Targaryen” and we can’t think of a more accurate way to describe this one-eyed sh*tstirrer. He’s like a caged lion afflicted with a touch of rabies – always pacing and prowling and scheming behind that sadly basic eyepatch. He’s clearly being set up as a worthy rival for his uncle – on the battlefield and off – but his motivations are a bit murky. Does he want his brother to rule? Would he like the crown for himself? The ambiguity of this guy is what makes him so menacing and, we have to admit, so fun to watch.
Alicent Hightower
Alicent Hightower is miserable. Normally, that would be cause for celebration, but somehow Olivia Cooke makes us feel for the woman in this episode. Her eldest son is a rapist, her other one is a one-eyed devil, her daughter acts like Luna Lovegood, her husband is missing half his face, and her father is strong-arming her into committing treason on the daily. And then, on top of all of this, her former best friend arrives, glowingly pregnant with her beautifully blended family and a hot side piece who’s so devoted to her he will chop men’s heads off in the throne room without blinking an eye. Let this woman run off to join a convent like she so clearly wants to do. Instead, despite making some headway in her relationship with Rhaenyra this week, she’s forced to, once again, put Viserys’ wishes above her own – even if she is misunderstanding exactly what those wishes are. Alicent will never truly win the game of thrones but she’s playing it the best she can given the circumstances and dammit, we feel bad about that.
House of the Dragons airs on Sunday nights at 9:00pm EST.
(House of the Dragon spoilers will be found below.)
“Lord of the Tides” brings viewers back to King’s Landing six years after we last saw King Viserys I not looking healthy, exactly, but he didn’t look as ghastly as he did this week. Rhaenyra and Daemon left Dragonstone to come discuss the missing Sea Snake and Driftmark and succession and many things that they’d rather not address, of course. The bed-confined Viserys, despite being in an immense amount of pain, hauled himself up and entered the throne room. He reiterated his declaration of Rhaenyra as heir, and that’s when things grew really dramatic with a callback to Joffrey Baratheon’s “Your fingers or your tongue” moment in Game of Thrones.
Way back during an especially disturbing moment of the O.G. dragon-filled series, Joffrey gave a singer a choice for which of his physical attributes that he’d rather lose. It was a disturbing scene that Sansa Stark witnessed while also being forced to be subservient to the little cretin. And on this week’s HotD, Viserys put an end to succession petitions, and Vaemond Velaryon made the very unwise choice to stand up — in front of Viserys and everything — and issue a shout-filled condemnation while calling Rhaenyra’s children “bastards.” He also decided to brand her a “whore,” at which point Viserys declared that he’d have his tongue. In a flash, Daemon (following a dare) stepped forward to defend his wife, made one swift movement, and off went most of Vaemond’s head.
He did, however, get to keep his tongue.
This throne-room carnage happened without warning, and I did gasp upon seeing it happen. As it turns out, I wasn’t alone (and yes, shocked laughter happened), and people thought that Vaemond definitely deserved his method of death:
(House of the Dragon spoilers will be found below.)
“Lord of the Tides” picks up six years after we last saw the House of the Dragon characters, and let’s just say that this week’s events did not follow the steamy, HotD tone that frequently appears on this Game of Thrones prequel. Instead, we pick up with Rhaenyra and Daemon having enjoyed a period of peace and bliss at Dragonstone. Whereas at King’s Landing, the very sad monarch has physically declined to the point where he looks — to be perfectly blunt — like a zombie. His health has never been optimal, and that’s left people guessing about why Viserys has so many ailments.
Targaryens are neither fireproof nor invincible, but they are thought to be resistant to illness. Clearly, King Viserys I is an exception to that trend. We’ve seen him dunking his hands into maggots, losing digits, and oozing from random sores. He’s essentially been rotting away, and there’s no telling whether the Iron Throne is actually making him sick (thereby rejecting him as a leader) or whether Otto Hightower has been a poison-happy bloke. Speaking of which, yeah, there was some curious stuff going on in this episode. We’ll get to that soon, but for the moment, let’s observe how people were taken aback after seeing how much Viserys’ health went downhill.
This is not happening, although the spirit is appreciated.
When Rhaenyra enters her father’s bedroom, the poor guy has got half of his face covered (and we find out why later). He’s emaciated, his teeth are rotting away, and he’s both disoriented and in severe pain. Even after what we’ve already seen from Viserys’ appearance, the drastic change hit people hard. Jaws began dropping.
— ۞Erica¹⁵ | MV1 WDC ♡ | HOTD Day (@fcbformulaEri) October 10, 2022
Viserys did, however, enjoy the visit from Rhaenyra and even from Daemon. He meets his youngest grandchild, also named Viserys, which he smilingly declares to be “a name fit for a king.” Let’s get to the tea talk now: Daemon sniffed the beverage that appeared to offer Viserys some pain relief. The rogue prince doesn’t remark upon his suspicions. So… has Otto been dropping poison into the tea? Some people do have suspicions.
Daemon smells something amiss in the tea. Maybe it’s Earl Grey, and he knows Viserys prefers Chamomile?
HBO’s House of the Dragon airs on Sundays at 9:00pm EST.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
(@scrpiomood) 
(@alistaircouslnd) 
(@spheven) 
(@superking1815) 
|Team Rhaenyra (@LucieMiddleford) 
(@cshnjh) 
(@crocswsocks) 
this poor man has suffered enough
