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Every Festival Should Adopt 88rising’s Head In The Clouds Hybrid Streaming Model

One of the benefits of all the advancements in technology we’ve seen over the years is that nearly everything has become more convenient. Even music festivals have seen the benefit of adopting a hybrid streaming option, because not everyone can always make it out in person. While my experience in this respect is limited – usually, I’m either there or I’m not, as watching a stream on TV just doesn’t appeal to me as much – I got the chance to compare the live and streaming experiences side-by-side over the weekend thanks to 88rising’s annual Head In The Clouds festival.

Held at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena this year (moving from Los Angeles State Historic Park), you’d think this would make the festival extremely convenient for me as I headed over after watching the Drew League playoffs in Torrance. But that’s only because you don’t know those LA County logistics (Angelenos read “Pasadena” and “Torrance” in the same sentence and involuntarily cringed on the inside). It wasn’t that bad of a drive, though! It took less than an hour to actually get to the Rose Bowl and I was excited to catch acts that I’d only heard peripherally like Jay Park or that I’ve nurtured a burgeoning affection for like Audrey Nuna, who was billed for a joint set with Deb Never (a clever combination that I secretly pulled for, for like a year before they teamed up).

However, after running into a snag with parking, which was at least partially my fault, my girlfriend and I wound up running behind. Fortunately, this was the first time that the hybrid experience came in handy. While sorting out our passes, we were able to watch Audrey Nuna and Deb Never’s energetic set from my phone even as we could sort of hear their stage’s sound from just outside the Bowl. Watching them bounce around and trade sarcastic bars in their matching skate punk outfits on the stream, we still felt included, and the experience only amplified the excitement of getting in.

Once we were inside, we quick-marched to the 88rising stage to catch Jay Park. Park’s a name I’ve seen a bunch, but I’ve rarely had the opportunity to check him out and since I knew I was coming to see him in his element, so to speak, I decided it’d be fun to go in fresh. The eclecticism he exudes is genuinely fascinating to me as someone who grew up with hip-hop in the musically stratified ‘90s. My brain is wired to separate genres like rap and rock and pop into separate categories; it’s incredibly interesting to me to see how folks who grew up experiencing pop culture through a different lens synthesize those experiences and styles as if the differences were nonexistent. Park, who grew up B-boying in Seattle and spent a significant chunk of his adulthood as a K-pop trainee, has a completely different musical perspective that took me a minute to adjust to but was very enjoyable.

A fun aspect of going to festivals live is checking out all the food options. Here, because the target audience’s palates are a bit more diverse than usual, it appeared (to me, at least) that there were more interesting options than the usual pizza and fries. And while most festivals will have maybe a KBBQ bowl place or a Sweetfin pop-up, I’ve never seen squid skewers at a festival before. We opted for kalbi skewers and bulgogi bowls due to our orthodontic needs and snacked while listening to Filipino crooner Yeek from a distance. Next up was Mxmtoon, who I found charming. She reminded me of the sort of twee pop stuff that had a moment in the 2000s and 2010s, but with a bit more bite. It probably helps that her upbeat, infectiously sweet anthems are backed by chunky, four-on-the-floor, honest-to-goodness get-down beats.

The in-person drawbacks reared their heads as we left, though. Because the parking was set up on the massive golf course next to the Rose Bowl and there were few markers left to help guide attendees back to their cars in the dark, many of those heading home could be seen wandering the endless-seeming rows of vehicles with bewildered faces, doubling back, and even walking in circles trying to figure out where they parked. There weren’t too many parking attendants either, making the process to exit much more chaotic than it has been at comparable festivals like Camp Flog Gnaw.

That was something that we took into consideration on Sunday as the Drew League Championship Game wrapped up. Did we want to risk getting stuck in another situation like the one from Saturday night? Another consideration that I hate to bring up but must was the security check as we entered. You’d think that after multiple highly publicized incidents at festivals – including a fatal one less than a year ago only a 20-minute drive down the same freeway that goes to Pasadena – festival security companies would be hypervigilant about what all attendees are carrying into the fest. Considering that we were waved in without so much as a cursory glance in our bags on Saturday, I didn’t like what that assumed about the crowds or about the potential safety situation.

Which is why I loved that we could simply put the festival on via Prime Video and catch the remaining sets that we wanted to see, including Rich Brian, Raveena, and Teriyaki Boyz. Of course, we missed out on the excellent food and the shared sense of community that comes from being in the crowd rubbing shoulders with fellow fans. Experiencing it both ways, though, allowed that perspective to come through. Usually, by day two, I’m grousing about the dirt and dead foliage filling up my shoes and getting a little sunburnt from being outside all day. This time, I was able to miss the feeling of being outdoors and among crowds of like-minded individuals all looking to have a good time.

It turns out that there are pros and cons to the streaming experience, just like everything in life. Head In The Clouds is definitely a festival I’d want to visit again, but if I don’t, I know exactly what I’ll be missing out on – and what I won’t. Considering it’s still a relatively young festival, perhaps the kinks that kept me on the couch Sunday will be worked out enough to warrant hanging out in person for both days.

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The Best Beers To Taste On Draft, According To Craft Beer Experts

We’d never turn down a bottle or can of IPA, pale ale, pilsner, or some other style of craft beer, but there’s just something special about a fresh, well-made beer poured from a draft into a pint glass. It’s difficult to explain. The kind of thing that needs to be tasted to be truly understood. All we know is that if you sample the same beer in a bottle, can, or draft, it at least seems to taste different depending on the format.

James Bruner, director of production at The Bruery in Placentia, California loves beer on draft.

“Personally, I believe that all craft beer tastes better on draft,” he notes. “Generally speaking, this is because the equipment used to package it is a lot better at avoiding oxidation than is present in most smaller-scale craft canning or bottling lines.”

Other craft beer experts and brewers concur. So we asked some of our favorites to tell us their picks for the best beers to drink on draft. Keep reading to see all of their picks.

Allagash Tripel

Allagash Tripel
Allagash

Rob Lightner, co-founder of East Brother Beer Company in Richmond, California

ABV: 9%

Average Price: $12.99 for a four-pack

Why This Beer?

Very high on the list would be Allagash’s Tripel. At 9% ABV, this is definitely one you don’t just want to throw back, so letting it “breathe” in your glass is optimal. Fresh from the tap this tripel is pleasingly floral with hints of bananas, honey, and cloves, but as the beer warms up, you get a lot more of the bready maltiness; from start to finish, it’s delightful.

Heater Allen Lenzbock

Heater Allen Lenzbock
Heater Allen

Tim Moore, production manager at Blackberry Farm Brewery in Maryville, Tennessee

ABV: 6.75%

Average Price: $6.99 for a 16-ounce can

Why This Beer?

I think it would be impossible to pick one beer as my favorite. I will share one of the best beer experiences of my life though. While in Portland, Oregon for the Craft brewers conference several years ago, I had one of the best beers I can recall. Sharing one of the best meals I have ever eaten, at an amazing restaurant Pok Pok. While wolfing down the legendary fish sauce wings with a group of close friends the table ordered a round of Heater Allen Lenzbock (aka Maibock). I’m not sure if it was the company I was in, the beautiful spring Portland weather, or the exquisite food, but for whatever reason that beer sticks out more than any before or since.

The color of liquid sunshine, with rich nutty aromas complimented by floral noble hop nose and rich malty flavors. And just a kiss of bitterness on the back end.

Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale

Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale
Bell

James Bruner, director of production at The Bruery in Placentia, California

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $10.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

Bell’s Two Hearted holds a special place in my heart because it was the first IPA I truly appreciated and enjoyed, and I had it on draft at an Irish pub I worked at while attending undergrad. Its pronounced Centennial hop note with nice pithy citrus and hints of pine air freshener over the clean pale malt base with a touch of caramel, it’s a classic.

Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin IPA

Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin IPA
Ballast Point

Pedro Goicouria, community and partnerships manager at Veza Sur Brewing Co. in Miami

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $13.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

One beer that tastes amazing on draft is Grapefruit Sculpin from Ballast Point. A fresh tangy bitterness rounds out this very solid IPA. Citrus, pine, and just the right amount of bitterness. It’s a great beer, especially when it’s enjoyed on draft.

Russian River Blind Pig IPA

Russian River Blind Pig IPA
Russian River

Terence Sullivan, product manager and former brewer at Sierra Nevada Brewing in Chico, California

ABV: 6%

Average Price: $5.50 for a 16.9-ounce bottle

Why This Beer?

Russian River – Blind Pig. It’s very drinkable with great fruit forward, citrus, and pine characters that I enjoy in a traditional West Coast IPA. The bitterness is pleasant, and it balances well with the moderate alcohol content… Making it one of my favorite beers to enjoy on tap.

Also, it reminds me of my early days in the beer industry, when I first got introduced to the Blind Pig Brewing Co.

Old Speckled Hen

Old Speckled Hen
Old Speckled Hen

Joe Pawelek, brew master at Wicked Weed Brewing in Asheville, North Carolina

ABV: 5%

Average Price: $12.50 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

Old Speckled Hen, especially served through a nitro draft system. It’s slightly malty and sweet, it’s best at slightly lower carbonation, and has such amazing aromas of bread, sweet grape nut, light herbal hop notes, and high drinkability.

Founders All Day IPA

Founders All Day IPA
Founders

Jeremy Marshall, brew master at Lagunitas Brewing in Petaluma, California

ABV: 4.7%

Average Price: $9.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

When I travel to the Midwest and/or even down to the mandatory annual Florida trip (have to check up on Florida Man), I am always very eager to seek out a draft pint of Founders All Day IPA. Even though it’s one of the OG IPA-in-a-can plays, there’s something really satisfying about having it on draft.

The hops just explode out of the pint glass, and it’s so meaty for being on the lighter side of IPA.

Georgetown Lucille IPA

Georgetown Lucille IPA
Georgetown

Max Shafer, brew master at Roadhouse Brewing Co. in Jackson Hole, Wyoming

ABV: 7%

Average Price: $9.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

I was very excited to find Georgetown Brewing beer in cans a few years ago but nothing tastes like Lucille IPA on draft. I remember the first time I had this beer almost ten years ago when I was working for another brewery. At the time we were designing our new flagship IPA and our director of sales ordered me one when we were selling beer in Seattle. The server put the beer down in front of me, and the hops hit me instantly. It was this great ah-ha moment for me as a brewer, understanding how hops could literally pour out of the glass.

The hop flavor is always fresh, it’s dank, resinous, and incredibly citrusy. I might have to go find one now.

Trumer Pilsner

Trumer Pilsner
Trumer

Eryn Bottens, head brewer at Samuel Adams Boston Brewery in Boston

ABV: 4.9%

Average Price: $8.50 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

My favorite draft is Trumer Pilsner. Very clean pilsner, easy to drink, and is one of the beers that helped define that category for me as a brewer. It’s hard to beat a crisp, easy-drinking pilsner on draft. This is especially true if that beer is Trumer Pilsner.

Brasserie De La Senne Zinnebir

Brasserie De La Senne Zinnebir
Brasserie De La Senne

Fal Allen, brew master at Anderson Valley Brewing Company in Boonville, California

ABV: 5.8%

Average Price: Limited Availability

Why This Beer?

Brasserie De La Senne makes a delicious pale ale called Zinnebir. On draft, it is especially notable. It is light and refreshing and still is packed with flavor. It has some light Belgian yeast flavors, but it is lightly done and blends excellently with the crisp citrusy hops. This one may be hard to find but when you do, it is well worth the search.

Really, any of their beers on draft are worth checking out.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Sierra Nevada

Eric Warner, brew master at Karbach Brewing in Houston

ABV: 5.6%

Average Price: $9.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

I’m not sure if it’s still the case, but at one point Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on draft was a bit different than what is packaged in bottles/cans. The lower ABV makes it a really nice, sessionable beer while still maintaining the great balance of malt and hops.

Fuller’s ESB

Fuller’s ESB
Fuller’s

Kelsey Roth, general manager at Exhibit ‘A’ Brewing Company in Framingham, Massachusetts

ABV: 5.9%

Average Price: $8.79 for a four-pack

Why This Beer?

I will never pass up an opportunity to enjoy a Fuller’s ESB on draft. This classic English bitter just tastes like it was meant to be on draft. The subtle carbonation, the sweetness of English pale and crystal malts, and that fruity herbal note of Goldings hops combine to create the perfect pub beer that goes great with most pub food.

Pilsner Urquell

Pilsner Urquell
Pilsner Urquell

Caroline O’Halloran, area sales director at Sprecher Brewing in Glendale, Wisconsin

ABV: 4.4%

Average Price: $9.99 for a six-pack

Why This Beer?

Pilsner Urquell, there is just something about drinking a deliciously cold, traditional pilsner, out of a ½ liter mug. Pairs perfectly with spicy wings on a summer patio. Saaz hops are some of my faves used in Pilsners. BKC Story Hill has a full Pilsner Urquell engine installed on their bar and use half-liter mugs. Probably the reason I bought a house in Story Hill when I moved to MKE.

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The Suns Are Bringing Back Their Classic Sunburst Jerseys

The Phoenix Suns will celebrate the 30th anniversary of one of the most successful teams in franchise history this season, as the 1992-93 squad led by league MVP Charles Barkley went to the NBA Finals, where they lost in six games to Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls.

As part of that celebration, the Suns are joining the ranks of teams adding Classic Edition uniforms to their rotation this season, as they will don their iconic “Sunburst” look once again to pay tribute to Sir Charles, Thunder Dan, and the 92-93 Suns. The team unveiled the uniforms in a throwback themed video featuring Deandre Ayton on Tuesday, and will provide more info on when the jerseys will go on sale and when the team will wear them later.

While understanding that I am firmly in the target demo for these uniforms, I’m a fan of the return to the retro look, and with these alongside their Valley uniforms that are among the best modern looks in the league, the Suns are really nailing the “look good, feel good” thing. The Suns, of course, will be hoping that they can recapture the magic of those ’93 Suns — or, more importantly, the ’21 Suns — and get back to the Finals once again to try and bring Phoenix its first NBA championship.

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Dove Cameron Flips Traditional Scripts In Her New Video For ‘Breakfast’

In the wake of the recent overturn of Roe v. Wade, Dove Cameron has dropped the video for her song “Breakfast.” Never one to shy away from social justice matters in her music, Cameron aims to dismantle patriarchal notions on this song, saying, “I eat boys like you for breakfast.”

In the song’s accompanying video, directed by Laura Dunn, Cameron dresses up for a big presentation at work while her house-husband serves her breakfast. Another version of Cameron, dressed as a ’50s housewife, appears in a series of infomercials on a TV screen, while the programming is interrupted with present-day video clips of protestors in support of abortion rights.

Cameron said in a statement:

“I was feeling incredibly disillusioned watching the recent SCOTUS ruling and I couldn’t wrap my head around making a music video at a time when I felt so desolate. With this video, I want to show the disturbing contrast between stylized femininity and masculine power and the gender stereotypes that plague our social commentary. I want the audience to notice how strange it is to watch the roles be reversed and it was important to highlight how ingrained these roles really are in our nervous systems. This is a video to remind us that ‘how it’s always been’ should never be a reason for desensitization or upholding broken systems. Hopefully by re-contextualizing these familiar scenes, this video will encourage people to vote for a world where we leave gender discrimination as a thing of the past and stop bringing the past into the present.”

At the end of the video, Cameron calls for her fans to support organizations like Supermajority, Emily’s List, Headcount, and National Network Of Abortion Funds.

Check out “Breakfast” above.

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Flo Mill Goes ‘Godzilla’ In Her Tough-Talking ‘Big Steppa’ Video

Flo Milli is still riding high on the success of her debut studio album You Still Here, Ho?, which dropped in July and featured new tracks like “PBC,” “Conceited,” and “No Face.” Never one to be content with her previous output, Milli keeps the ball rolling with another new video, this time for the supremely confident “Big Steppa.” True to the song’s title, the Alabama rapper goes full kaiju in the clip, stomping around in a miniature city and delivering aggressive boasts in a variety of designer ensembles.

In addition to its collection of new songs, You Still Here, Ho? included a few of her older hits like “Roaring 20s” and “Ice Baby.” As she explained in an interview with Vulture, “I was very intentional with this album. My last one, to me, felt a little rushed. That was my first project ever. I didn’t have that much knowledge about how to go about it. But you know, of course, when you do something, you learn from your mistakes and you learn from that… I got tired of people, like, saying certain stuff, even though people are gonna talk. That ties back into the name. Like, ho, you still here, though?”

Watch Flo Milli’s “Big Steppa” video above.

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Jimmy Fallon asked people to share ‘funny, weird, or embarrassing’ stories about their dads

This story originally appeared on 06.17.22

There are many traditional staples of fatherhood—love, support, protection, security, providing an example—but there is, of course, that other not-so-warm-and-fuzzy feeling that dads can provoke in their kids at any given moment … sheer, utter embarrassment.

Usually in a father’s humiliation tool belt is the infamous dad joke. These corny puns have been around since 2003, and let’s face it, they’ll never leave. Of course, no dad needs one to make your eyes roll. They can do that most of the time simply by being themselves.

For his well-known #Hashtags segment, Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share “funny, weird, or embarrassing” stories about their dads. Fallon, a father himself, is no stranger to the cringeworthy power of a dad joke. In a 2020 interview with TODAY, Fallon admitted, “I’m starting to get the eye rolls now where Daddy’s not the funniest person in the world.”

Don’t worry Fallon! Clearly you’re not alone, because people replied with some truly hilarious comments. Dads might be silly, but we’ll gladly put up with it for the love they give us.

Enjoy 20 of the very best #DadStories:


As usual, Fallon went first:

1.

“Instead of buying a smoker my dad just grills in the garage with the door closed.” – @jimmyfallon

2.

“At my aunt’s wedding reception, my dad ran out from the bathroom when he heard You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees play, and proceeded to do John Travolta’s routine from Saturday Night Fever.” – @MJ_Rose88

tonight show hashtags

3.

“My Dad will call me sometimes when he wants me to bring him food. He refers to me as ‘GrubDash.'” – @FalPalAMF828

4.

“My dad likes to play a very morbid game called ‘guess who died’, which consists of him gossiping about someone I probably haven’t seen in 20+ years and can’t remember at all, who died recently. Bonus points for guessing the cause of death.” – @jon_jonz

5.

“My dad used to drink his morning coffee with his dentures in his hand while reading the newspaper. When we asked him why, he said his teeth also wanted to read the newspaper.” – @FallonHolic_

6.

“When my dad took my sister to her first Jr. HS dance, she asked to be dropped off a block before the school. My dad proceeded to take her all the way up to the main entrance, got out of the car and loudly announced her arrival!” – @77BroncosFan

7.

“Asked my dad if he knew who Taylor Swift was…he said, I don’t care who he is!” – @JessyKrupa

jimmy fallon dad stories

8.

“My dad whistles really loud. He sticks his head out the window and whistles back to birds. But when the lady next door heard him, she called 911. The cops told her, ‘Lady, he didn’t whistle at you. He only flirts with birds.'” – @tostianascripts

9.

“When my dad would leave a message on my answering machine, he would end the message saying, ‘This is dad signing off.'” – @RealRobFindor

10.

“We were on vacation and the gift shops selling fudge called plain fudge ‘chocolate no nuts.’ A guy walked up to my dad with some samples and offered him some saying ‘chocolate no nuts?’ And my dad said ‘what did you just call me?'” – @lauraceciliaOT

11.

“My Dad laid a new floor in my brother’s house. It was all finished so we couldn’t understand why he was taking up the boards again. Turns out he had seen a spider run underneath and was worried it would be trapped.” – @Sohnzie

12.

“Whenever my dad would try to talk us into trying something new to eat he’d state, ‘It’s so good it’ll put hair on your chest.’ He had 3 daughters.” – @Bookelew

jimmy fallon twitter

13.

“My mom once bought a 6 ft Santa statue at a yard sale without telling dad. When he got home and parked, we heard banging, crashing and swearing. We went to look and the Santa was laying face down on the curb. Dad thought someone was trying to jump him.” – @dknessfalls

14.

“My dad couldn’t decide if he wanted to be called ‘grandpa’ or ‘papa’ so he just told all of us to call him ‘Coach.’ He’s not a coach.” – @iPopEditor

15.

“My father went to the McDonalds drive thru and asked for a whopper. When they said ‘they didn’t have whoppers’, He just drove off without placing an order.” – @Marisa_Rosie22

16.

“One day we went out to eat at Pizza Hut and sat in front of an empty table with some pizza left on it. My dad, being the penny pincher he is, grabbed some and started eating it. A few minutes later the couple comes back from the bathroom asking ‘where’s our pizza?'” – @Alex_Erickson3

17.

“My dad let a bee land on his hand and watched it closely as it stung him because he ‘wanted to see the process up close.'” – @TrippyPsycholo1

dad jokes

18.

“My dad once tried to tell a lady she had a Big Bug on her, but accidentally told her she had a Really Big Butt. She was not amused.” – @Sallyjo25

19.

“My dad thinks it’s funny to introduce my mom as his ‘first wife’….my parents have been married for 58 years and are in their late 80’s.” – @annMcD87

20.

My dad entered Canada by swimming across the Niagara from the US under the cover of night.” – @albertduic

jimmy fallon hashtags, fallon hashtags dad stories

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Ret. Major General explains the difference between an AR-15 and the military’s weapons of war

This article originally appeared on 06.04.22

A common criticism gun rights activists levy toward gun legislation advocates is that many people who push for stricter gun laws don’t know a lot about guns themselves. That’s not wholly accurate—there are plenty of gun enthusiasts who support reasonable gun laws—but it’s true that many people who are horrified by our nation’s gun culture are not well-versed on the specifications of our nation’s 393 million guns.

Not every American is an active part of American “gun culture.” Some of us have never shot a firearm, for fun or otherwise. Some of us really are ignorant about guns themselves.

That can’t be said for anyone in the military, however. And it definitely can’t be said for a former Major General of the U.S. Army.


That’s why an explanation of the difference between an AR-15 and military-style firearms from retired Major General Paul Eaton has gone viral. Major General Eaton was the commander in charge of training Iraqi soldiers during Operation Iraqi Freedom, so he definitely knows what he’s talking about when it comes to weaponry.

He wrote:

“As the former Commanding General of the Infantry Center at Fort Benning and Chief of Infantry, I know a bit about weapons. Let me state unequivocally — For all intents and purposes, the AR-15 and rifles like it are weapons of war. A thread:

Those opposed to assault weapon bans continue to play games with AR-15 semantics, pretending there’s some meaningful differences between it and the M4 carbine that the military carries. There really aren’t.

The military began a transition from the M16 to the M4, an improved M16, some years ago. The AR-15 is essentially the civilian version of the M16. The M4 is really close to the M16, and the AR-15.

So what’s the difference between the military’s M4 and the original AR-15? Barrel length and the ability to shoot three round bursts. M4s can shoot in three round bursts. AR-15s can only shoot a single shot.

But even now, you can buy AR-15s in variable barrel lengths with Weaver or Picatinny rails for better sights and aiming assists like lasers. Like the military, but w/o the bayonet.

But our troops usually use single shot, not burst fire. You’re able to fire a much more accurate (deadly) shot, that way. Note: you can buy our Advanced Combat Optical Gunsight on Amazon. So troops usually select the same fire option available on AR-15.

That is why the AR-15 is ACCURATELY CALLED a ‘weapon of war.’ It is a very deadly weapon with the same basic functionality that our troops use to kill the enemy. Don’t take the bait when anti-gun-safety folks argue about it. They know it’s true. Now you do too.”

Eaton is not the only former military leader who has spoken out in support of gun legislation. In 2019, a group of 13 influential retired military leaders wrote a letter to Congress, pushing it to pass the Bipartisan Background Check Act.

“Each of us has, at some point in our lives, made the choice to risk our lives for our fellow citizens and place ourselves in harm’s way,” they wrote. “We were trained, we were coached, and we were prepared for the dangers that we chose to face. This is not the case for most Americans, yet they continue to face danger on the sidewalk, in their homes, at school, and at work. It is in the same spirit that led us to serve in the armed forces that we ask you, our elected leaders, to help protect the American people from gun violence here at home. We urge you to support this legislation.”

Police leaders have also voiced strong support for gun legislation, which makes sense considering how much harder and more dangerous our free-for-all gun culture makes their jobs. The International Association of Chiefs of Police, the largest professional association of police leaders in the world, has a position paper that outlines the gun safety laws it supports, including firearm offender registration, waiting periods, closing the gun show loophole, banning semiautomatic assault weapons, armor-piercing ammunition, bulletproof body armor and more. The IACP states that these are “common sense policies that would assist in reducing gun violence, while upholding the second amendment.”

Yep, the largest police leader association supports banning semiautomatic assault weapons like the AR-15. Here’s what it has to say about that:

“First passed in 1994, the assault weapons ban required domestic gun manufacturers to stop production of semi-automatic assault weapons and ammunition magazines holding more than ten rounds except for military or police use. While the ban was in place, it was remarkably effective in reducing the number of crimes involving assault weapons. In the period of the ban, (1994-2004) the proportion of assault weapons traced to crimes fell by a dramatic 66 percent.”

If those who oppose gun legislation don’t want to listen to people who don’t know enough about guns to speak authoritatively on them, that’s fine. Perhaps they should listen to these military and police leaders who not only know guns inside and out, but who also have the firsthand experience on both sides of the barrel to speak authoritatively on what can help minimize America’s gun violence.

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Teachers are sharing their students’ wildest excuses that actually turned out to be true

This story originally appeared on 02.24.22

Kindergarten through 12th grade teachers and college professors have heard every excuse in the book. Whether it’s a third grader claiming their “dog ate my homework” or a college freshman claiming their grandmother died to get out of a test, they’ve heard it all a billion times.

A college professor once listed the top 21 excuses he’s heard from his students. Here are the top five:

5. “It’s the last week of the semester.”

4. “It’s St. Patrick’s Day or 4/20”

3. “Our other teacher held us back.”

2. “My timetable showed the class was canceled.”

1. “I’m taking a vacation.”


Yes, some students actually say they didn’t do their work because of a holiday predicated on drinking or getting stoned and others have the audacity to say, “Hey! I needed a vacation.” After spending week after week fielding excuses, there’s a good reason why most educators are skeptical when they hear one from their students.

But every once in a while, an excuse that seems way too improbable to be believed actually is true.

Reddit user u/minecraftplayer48 asked the teachers of Reddit to share the “best excuse for being late that turned out to be true” and the stories were all pretty great. But it wasn’t only teachers who chimed in; a lot of people shared stories from when they were students and had an excuse that was so crazy they didn’t think anyone would believe them.

Here are 17 of the best excuses for being late that were actually true.

1. Revenge of the torque wrench

“My auto teacher let me practice removing and adding the tires on his vehicle. The next morning it was about 20 minutes into first period and no sign of him. He comes running into the classroom out of breath and his hair is all messed up. He points at me and says ‘YOU!!!! What is a torque wrench used for???’ I respond with “I don’t know.” He says ‘ I know you don’t know!!!” Turns out one of his tires came off while driving down the highway.” — ethnicjello

2. Mom wanted to sleep in

“She had to take her sister to school and drive her mom to rehab. She was always late to class because her mom just wanted to sleep in. Problem was if the mom was late or did not go she would have violated her probation and gone to prison. I never marked her late. If she missed anything important she could come in at lunch or after school to make it up.” — RM156

3. “That was you?”

“Student here, I headed into school early to get some studying done in the library before my night class. I was one exit away when I was caught in a 3 car accident. Most of the expressway afterwards was gridlock with only one lane left open. I did eventually make it into my lab class 15 minutes late, with a few scrapes and bruises. My professors reaction was simply ‘Oh that was you!”” — AlienCowAbduction

4. “School bus blew up”

“I was one of about 20 kids who were late to school. We showed up at the school office as a group and when questioned why we were late, we said ‘The school bus blew up.’ They questioned ‘So the engine blew up?’ The kids ‘No, the whole bus, in flames. It blew up.’

“There was much conference between the teachers, all of them thinking we embellished the story. Next thing you know, one of the admin staff has the news website open, very obvious image of an entire bus on fire with a bunch of kids in our school uniform standing in front of it. Our late slip for class read ‘School bus blew up.'” — AusPB90

5. B.U.I. 

“Told me he got pulled over by the cops for wobbly driving on his bike and they thought he was drunk. Turned out he was just dodging all the slugs on the street.” — Fortisvol

6. Chicken of death

“A guy in my college class missed class one day. The next day he came in with his eye covered up and medical paperwork in hand. Apparently he got pecked in the eye by a chicken.” — BrrToe

7. Chicken 2: The chickening

“When I was student teaching, I was late because there was bunch chickens in the middle of the road. They wouldn’t move at all. This is in the middle of a city of 200,000 people. Freaking chickens.

“I finally get to school and profusely apologize to my mentor teacher and I told her why I was late thinking it sounded ridiculous. She said, ‘yeah, those chickens are fucking assholes, they surrounded my car in the McDonalds parking lot last year. Don’t worry about it.” — Makenshine

8. Cracker Barrel conference

“Taught a group of seniors first period. It was towards the end of the year. I had a class of around 30 and only 5 were there when the bell rang. Halfway through class, the rest of them show up. They went out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and brought me some back. All was forgiven.” — SwansonsLoveChild

9. Beary late

“Bear on the backyard. No access gate. Animal control had to tranq it from the room and drag it through the house. Made the news. Got to retake the test I missed after sending her the news article.” — Vladtehwood

10. Present the flat

“We had an exam in my class and the teacher got a message from a student saying that he was going to be late because his car had a flat tire (the student was known to party), the teacher didn’t think it could be true, so as a joke the teacher asked him to bring the tire back. He brought the flat tire back in the middle of the exam. Needless to say, the professor didn’t expect that.” — Sapang

11. Moo

“A kid missed my first-period class one morning but was in school later that day. When I asked him why he hadn’t arrived in time for my course, he said his cow was birthing its calf that morning, so he’d picked being in the barn over English. Made sense to me. His essays weren’t going to win any ribbons at the county fair, but his calf could.” — Bobosbigsister

12. Abduction

“In high school a kid came late to history class. He was a joker so when someone asked him where he had been, he goes ‘I was kidnapped.’ Everyone laughed, until he goes ‘no really.’

“Turns out 2 guys kidnapped him and tossed him into the back of the minivan he was using for his morning paper route. They drove him around while they robbed something. I can’t remember what happens after. I think they just drove the van somewhere and got away.” — notinmybackyardcanad

13. Honesty is the best excuse

“Not a teacher, but a kid walked into my class one day and literally just said ‘Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to be here.’ He wasn’t wrong I suppose.” — Scally59

14. It actually was the dog

“A little off topic but in 8th grade, a friend of mine turned in their homework late because her dog literally ate her homework. She even brought a note from her parents.” — JoeyJoey2004

15. Is this a real excuse? Or is it fantasy?

“‘Sorry Bohemian Rhapsody came on just as I parked.’ — My art teacher when he was about 5:55 minutes late.” — Deeberber

16. “I took a shortcut”

“This happened to me as a pupil; a very quiet, unassuming kid in our class came in to German with about five minutes of the class left. We went to a Catholic school and the teachers were all quite strict and intimidating. Classes were usually silent, especially in junior school. When this boy came into class at the end of the lesson that day, the door flew inwards with such force that the teacher gave an audible gasp.

“It had been raining heavily outside, his hair was plastered to his forehead. His blazer was dripping and sodden. He had mud caked into his trousers up to his knees, and he was breathing heavily. The teacher exclaimed, ‘Brendan! What happened?’ We all stared up at him in shocked silence. This quiet, unassuming little boy let out a big sigh and just said, ‘I took a shortcut.’ And went straight to his seat.

“That line became iconic in our school for years afterward.” — lestat85

17. Pug lovers can attest 

“Kid was late to school and had to miss a very important football game. The reason? His fat pug fell asleep on his phone. The pug’s fat rolls muffled his alarm.” — tip52

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Paul Rudd Is Officially Onboard For ‘Only Murders In The Building’ Season 3

Warning: Spoilers ahead for the season finale of Only Murders In The Building.

Isn’t it great when you introduce a group of friends to another group of friends and they really hit it off? That’s how it felt when Paul Rudd made a small cameo on the most recent episode of Only Muders in The Building. Yes, he was a slightly intense stage actor with a small tiff with Steve Martin, but it works! And now, fans will get to see more of him as Rudd has been cast in season three of the hit Hulu whodunnit.

Rudd appeared in the season two finale as Ben Glenroy, an actor with stage fright who collapses on stage in the final moments of the season, much to Mabel’s frustration. This means more murder!

Season three of the murder-mystery show was greenlit last month, and co-creator John Hoffman says they are in the midst of crafting the storyline, with a focus on Selena Gomez‘s character, Mabel. “We’re writing season three now and we’re mapping out what we’re doing for season three with these characters and it is time, I feel like, to take a look at really landing the direction for [Mabel],” Hoffman told Elle.

“We’re aiming towards that and I think it’s exciting and she’s got her foot on the gas, a bit. Mabel, I just love her arc because it does point to a lift at the end of season two that feels right on time. You feel a sense of an opportunity of a restart.” A new start with Paul Rudd sounds great!

(Via Variety)

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How To Really, Truly, Actually Buy Yourself Some Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon This Fall

Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon is the OG single barrel bourbon and one of the most sought-after whiskeys out there. Today, the bottle is so popular and fleeting that people line up overnight at local retailers, pay premiums on the aftermarket and at auctions, and travel overseas just to snag a bottle. I’m a big fan too and have hoarded a stash of Blanton’s for both special occasions and investing. So I figured it was time to break down how I procured those bottles, in hopes that you might be able to buy one too.

Blanton’s — made by the Sazerac Company at Buffalo Trace Distillery in Frankfort, Kentucky — changed the bourbon game in the 1980s when it was first released. The bottle was the first ever single barrel bourbon release, which, admittedly, sounds crazy in 2022 when single barrel whiskeys are released nearly non-stop. The “drop” (they weren’t called that back then) was the masterstroke of Elmer T. Lee back in ’84. Basically, the distillery was looking to stay afloat and move product during the dark days of whiskey when distilleries were shuttering left and right.

The hand-selected, hand-dumped, hand-bottled, and hand-labeled whiskey was a massive hit — mostly in Japan — to the point that it damn near single-handedly saved the distillery from collapse. And to be fair, it is (and always was) an exceptional offering. The juice itself from six to eight-year-old barrels from Buffalo Trace’s famed Warehouse H, which was built after Prohibition by Albert B. Blanton, or “Colonel Blanton” as he’s referred to at Buffalo Trace. These days, the process is still all done by hand like it was done in the 1980s to the point that there’s a room full of workers still hand-writing and sealing every label. While Buffalo Trace is mum about their water, yeast, and grains, we do know that Blanton’s come from their famed Mash Bill no. 2. That’s a slightly higher (but still low) rye mash bill that’s also used for Ancient Age, Elmer T. Lee, Rock Hill Farms, and Hancock’s Reserve bourbons.

When it comes to Blanton’s there are three core expressions — The OG Single Barrel Bourbon at 93 proof, Gold at 103 proof, and Straight From the Barrel at barrel proof plus a few international variations (more on those later). Read on for how to score one for yourself!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

METHOD 1a — Retail

Blanton's Drizly
Drizly

This is going to take the most person-to-person conversation. Yes, some retailers still get an allotment of Blanton’s — mostly just the OG bottle though. My local liquor store (in Kentucky) just had a case or two come in last week. It was on the shelf for about 4 hours before it sold out. It was priced at $79.99. There was never a line outside.

Unfortunately, I was too late to get a bottle. Why? I didn’t ask the store manager to tag me when that particular bottle came in.

Blanton's Bottle
Zach Johnston

Here’s the rub with getting bottles at retail prices at retail shops — you need to first join their customer club/benefits club/member’s club. Then you need to become a regular. Then you need to strike up a conversation with the manager. Generally, if you’re a good customer who they see often, this should all be easy. But you have to have a relationship with the folks who work at these stores. Otherwise, you’re not getting anything unless — through blind luck — you show up and there’s some on the shelf.

Make the right friends. Be kind. Don’t ask for too much too early. Find out when allocated deliveries take place. Don’t abuse that information. Be a good neighbor. It’s not rocket science and it does work.

METHOD 1b — Online Retail

Then there’s online retail. This is a little dicier. Retailers like Drizly or Reserve Bar will get bottles in but they will only be available in certain regional markets. There’s no universal rule for buying/shipping booze in the U.S., so you’re at the whim of which state got what and their laws and which online retailer got their cut of that cut. So you may see a bottle of Blanton’s on Drizly for $89 but you’re in San Francisco, California, and that bottle is in Peoria, Illinois, and you’re out of luck. Naturally, sometimes the stars align with online retailers and you can score some serious bottles. You just have to set up alerts and check regularly in your zip code. To be frank, it’s likely easier just to go to your local (good) liquor store and get to know the staff.

PRO TIP:

Be warned. IRL retailers will mark up prices beyond the MSRP. Sometimes that markup might be $15, like in my local liquor store. Sometimes it might be a lot more. Know the MSRP (manufacturers suggested retail price) before you go into the shop or hit buy online.

Blanton’s Original is $65. Gold is $95. Straight From The Barrel is $110.

METHOD 2 — Visit The Distillery

Buffalo Trace Gift Shop
Buffalo Trace

Distillery bottle shops can be a gold mine. They can also be frustrating. The Gift Shop at Buffalo Trace is a great place to get rare bottles at true retail.

If you’re in making your pilgrimage to the Buffalo Trace promised land in Frankfort, Kentucky, you can grab up to two bottles at the Gift Shop. After parking, there’s a tall red-brick building with a Buffalo on it. Before you walk in, there’ll be a sandwich board that’ll list the bottles currently being sold in the Gift Shop that day. Wheatly Vodka and Bourbon Creme are always on there. The top slot rotates daily. This can be Weller Special Reserve, Blanton’s, Elmer T. Lee, Eagle Rare 10, Buffalo Trace Bourbon, and maybe a few other entry-level bottles (never, ever is it Pappy — don’t bother).

Whichever bottle is available that day will be at MSRP. That means you can get a Weller SR for $30 or a Blanton’s for $65. If you live in north-central Kentucky, it’s not that hard to keep your ear to the ground and hear through the grapevine what’s on the sandwich board every day. If you’re in town for one day as a tourist, you’re getting whatever is on that sandwich board that day.

METHOD 3 — The Aftermarket

Blanton's Bottle
Justins

This is the easiest way to score a bottle. The aftermarket is a guaranteed win… but at a price. These are online and in-person retailers that will sell collectible and other hard-to-find bottles of whiskey that they buy, sell, and trade for.

The most legit place to get an aftermarket retail bottle of Blanton’s is Justins’ House of Bourbon in both Lexington and Louisville. A single bottle of the OG Blanton’s will set you back $249. That may sound dire. But there’s a guarantee involved that’s very important. There’s a ton of subterfuge and forgery in the high-end whiskey game. Places like Justins’ has a crew that makes sure you’re getting the real thing to the best of their ability. The same goes for online retailers like Frootbat.com, Caskers.com, and TheWhiskyExchange.com.

For the most part, you can rest assured you’re getting what you’ve paid (top dollar) for. Beyond that, things get dicey quickly.

Another option is to use WineSearcher.com for regional and international retailers that are selling Blanton’s — for a hefty aftermarket markup. Very generally speaking, you’ll be able to find a retailer local to you. You can then go into the shop and use common sense to verify if it’s all legit or not.

METHOD 4 — Buying At Auction

Blanton's Auction
Proxbid.com

This can be a very legitimate way to score Blanton’s if you follow the distillery auctions. Distilleries often release bottles throughout the year for various causes. Case in point, Buffalo Trace just released three bottles of Blanton’s (and several other huge name bottles) from their stocks for charity relief for Eastern Kentucky’s devastating floods. This is what you want to look for since there’s no question if these are real bottles or not. The benefit is also that you’ll actually be funneling the money you would have given an aftermarket retailer toward a good cause.

Right now, you can bid on all three Blanton’s — OG, Gold, and Straight from the Barrel — if you have a few grand to donate. Click right here to bid. You might win!

Then there are private house auctions for private charities for, say, golf clubs or retailers or a million other things. Sometimes those are fueled by donated bottles from private folks. The veracity of those bottles of Blanton’s is on those peoples’ words alone. The point I’m making here is to always, always do your research and find out where the bottles come from, who verified their legitimacy, and where they can actually deliver to (or if you have to pick them up).

METHOD 5 — Duty-Free

Blanton's Bottle
DFA

Okay, now we’re getting into the fun ways to buy Blanton’s! Traveling through IAD (Washington-Dulles) anytime soon? You can pre-order Blanton’s from their Duty-Free for pick up when you’re transferring internationally through that airport. The price is just over double MSRP per bottle, but it’s there.

German and Japanese Duty-Free is another great bet for bottles at much closer to MSRP. German Duty-Free will be a bit more hit and miss because the brand has a strong retail presence there (more on that next).

Japanese Duty-Free is the best bet, as Blanton’s tends to be widely available there too. You’ll generally find the OG bottle and then Black Label (and 80-proof version) and “Red Takara” Label Blanton’s (aged two years longer than Blanton’s otherwise the same as OG). Naturally, this will depend on which airport and which shop you’re in. Tokyo-Narita is the best bet — it’s a near guarantee you’ll find Blanton’s there.

And that’s just scratching the surface. The point is, check out Duty Free the next time you’re in a huge international airport. You might get really lucky.

METHOD 6 — International Retail

Blanton's Online
WhiskyOnline24.de

This is also a lot of fun but takes a little investment to, you know, actually, travel.

Again, Japan and Germany are your best options here. Though, this time, it’s Germany where you want to go for guaranteed retail. Here’s a big insider tip for Blanton’s OG, Gold, and Straight From The Barrel — you can get all three at retail shops in Berlin at MSRP. Big luxury shops like KaDeWe in Berlin will have three bottles of all three expressions on the shelf at most times. Regular whisk(e)y retailers in Germany will also have Blanton’s (and a lot of other Sazerac products) at MSRP pretty much all the time.

This is similar in Japan but those bottles tend to be Japanese-specific releases. Then again, those Japanese-specific releases have a lot more value when you bring them back to the U.S.. Anyway, if you ever needed another reason to travel, getting Blanton’s for sure is a good one.

***

Good luck out there this fall! And be sure to read our review of all three Blanton’s expressions before you pick your poison!