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Bill Burr Is Convinced That The NBA Is ‘Rigged’ By Referees Who ‘Massage’ Games To Achieve The Desired Outcome

Comedian Bill Burr has a lot on his plate: he is about to be the first comedian ever to headline Fenway Park, he is set to make his directorial debut, and he had a cameo in a Channing Tatum movie earlier this year. But he mostly only cares about basketball, particularly the Boston Celtics.

Burr stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live to presumably talk about his comedy, though he immediately started talking basketball the moment he sat down. Kimmel asked Burr if he was watching the playoffs, and Burr burst out in a monologue about the NBA, saying it’s “it’s massaged to be exciting.”

“I also think the NBA is also low-key rigged,” Burr said, to the surprise of Kimmel. “Why does that surprise any NBA fan? I don’t know how many times you can watch a game, a team goes up by 20, then all of a sudden ticky-tack foul, all of the sudden they’re in the penalty. The [ref’s] job’s to get down to about 5 to 7 at halftime. And then the ESPN talking head comes on and says ‘I’ll tell you right now, I’m really concerned about that team that used to be up by 20!’” Burr said in his best basketball analyst voice impression.

He continued, “First half of the third quarter is for the players, and then the referees assess what they need to do to make it come down to the final two minutes. You watch the first quarter, they let the teams play. Second-quarter belongs to the refs. [Then you watch] from the half of the third quarter on. I’ve said it is rigged forever.”

“I’m sorry, I’m saying there is no Santa Claus.” Burr said, crushing the dreams of basketball fans everywhere. After Kimmel said that fans ignore the sketchy refs when their team wins, Burr concluded, “It’s massaged to be exciting. The refs just have way too much power.” Just like Santa Claus!

Check out the clip above for Burr’s take on the NBA. If you feel inclined to listen to Burr talk even more about the NBA, he also uploaded a whole podcast episode on the topic earlier this week.

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The Best Tequila-Based Canned Cocktails, Blind Tasted And Ranked

Sure, you can grab a nice bottle of tequila, and a few mixers, and spend an afternoon whipping up margaritas, palomas, and the like. But now that it’s beginning to look (and feel) a lot like summer from Bar Harbor to Beverly Hills, who has the time? That’s where RTDs (also known as ready-to-drink cocktails) come in. These pre-mixed, canned cocktails simply need to be cracked open, poured over ice (or sipped straight out of the can or bottle), and enjoyed.

The only problem is with these canned cocktails growing so popular in recent years, there are too many to choose from. To add to that, while many are well-made, flavorful, and balanced, others are syrupy sweet, generic-tasting, and downright awful.

To make your late spring and summer better, we decided to blindly taste and rank eight of the best tequila-based RTDs. And, since we assume you’d prefer to drink different kinds of cocktails, we selected canned ranch waters, margaritas, and palomas. Keep scrolling to see all the picks and learn how everything turned out.

  • Cutwater Lime Ranch Water
  • JuneShine Spirits Tequila Margarita
  • Ranch Rider Ranch Water
  • Tip Top Margarita
  • Post Meridiem Spirits Margarita
  • Cazadores Paloma
  • Crafthouse Cocktails Spicy Margarita
  • Golden Rule Margarita Original

Part 1: The Tasting

Taste 1

Tequila cocktail 1
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

The nose is slightly herbal, and fruity, with slight citrus aromas, but not much else. The palate is light, refreshing, and effervescent with lime zest, agave sweetness, and just a hint of hard-to-place tequila flavor.

From my notes: “Overall, it takes more like soda than a cocktail.”

Taste 2

Tequila cocktail 2
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

Unlike many RTDs, this one smells like tequila right off the bat. Then it delves into key lime and a slight herbal quality. But it’s clear the tequila takes the top spot. One sip and I could tell this was a real deal cocktail. It’s a nice mix of warming, vegetal tequila, and tart, slightly sweet lime.

From my notes: “This is the real deal.”

Taste 3

Tequila cocktail 3
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

This doesn’t smell like a tequila cocktail even a little bit. It smells like I just cracked open a can of lemon/line soda. Really, that’s it. Sipping it only added to the lemon/lime flavor with maybe some sugary sweetness and a very faint tequila taste.

From my notes: “Overly sweet and too one-dimensional for my liking.”

Taste 4

Tequila cocktail 4
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

The nose is classic margarita with bold aromas of vegetal sweet tequila, lime zest, tangerine pulp, and a light, herbal, earthy aroma. Drinking it revealed ripe orange, key lime, sweet, vegetal agave, warming tequila, and a slightly tart, salinity that brings everything together nicely.

Taste 5

tequila cocktail 5
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

Lime juice, grapefruit zest. slight vegetal notes and an herbal quality dominate the nose. The palate is loaded with tart lime, lemon, grapefruit, and a slight tequila flavor. There’s also a slight smoky quality that adds another dimension to this RTD.

All in all, a well-rounded, easy-to-drink pre-made cocktail.

Taste 6

Tequila Cocktail 6
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

There are notable aromas of fresh lime juice, sweet oranges, and just a hint of herbal, vegetal tequila. This definitely doesn’t smell like a pre-made, canned cocktail. One sip only adds to that feeling as this is definitely boozier than most. Even with that, it’s fresh, filled with lime juice, and other citrus flavors, and has a nice kick of vegetal tequila. Yet there’s really no burn.

Taste 7

Tequila cocktail 7
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

This RTD smells like a classic margarita so I’m going to assume that’s what it is and that’s definitely a good sign. No fake, sugary smells here. Lime zest and a hint of agave sweetness are prevalent on the nose. Sipping it revealed more tart, slightly salty lime, and some other citrus flavors. Not sugary and sweet like some RTDS and that’s a good thing, but the tequila is still rather muted and lost in the salt and lime flavors.

Taste 8

Tequila cocktail 8
Christopher Osburn

Tasting Notes:

There is a lot of fruit on this drink’s nose. I noticed inviting aromas of lime zest, grapefruit pulp, and even some lemon. The palate follows suit with notes of herbal, vegetal sweet agave, lime peels, and more grapefruit. It’s very refreshing, flavorful, and crushable.

From my notes: “What could be better on a hot day?”

Part 2: The Ranking

8) Cazadores Paloma (Taste 3)

Cazadores Paloma
Cazadores

ABV: 5.9%

Average Price: $13.99 for a four-pack

The RTD:

Made with 100% Blue Agave tequila blanco from Cazadores as well as agave syrup for sweetness, this is a gluten-free, canned version of the popular paloma cocktail. Made with natural ingredients, this is a ready-to-drink, easy alternative to mixing your own cocktails at home. The difference is that it’s much lower in alcohol than crafting your own cocktail. If you’re good with that, drink up.

Bottom Line:

I shouldn’t expect a 5.9% ready-to-drink paloma to be anything more than a sugary, sweet soda with a little bit of tequila flavoring because that’s exactly what this is.

7) Cutwater Lime Ranch Water (Taste 1)

Cutwater Lime Ranch Water
Cutwater

ABV: 5.9%

Average Price: $11.50 for a four-pack

The RTD:

Cutwater has made a big name for itself in the read-to-drink cocktail world in the last few years. Probably more so than any other brand. It makes a wide range of canned cocktails including its take on the classic ranch water. This low-alcohol canned cocktail features tequila, soda water, and lime.

Bottom Line:

Great ranch water is simple, refreshing, and highlights the tequila flavor when complemented with other flavors. This one is okay. It’s just a little more generic tasting and low in alcohol than I’d prefer.

6) JuneShine Spirits Tequila Margarita (Taste 7)

JuneShine Spirits Tequila Margarita
JuneShine

ABV: 10%

Average Price: $12.99 for a four-pack

The RTD:

While some canned cocktail makers lower the ABV to the level of a beer, we appreciate a brand that gets a little crazy with it and doubles that. Cocktails aren’t meant to be crushed like light beers and June Shine knows that. It’s made with premium tequila, real organic agave juice, and other natural ingredients.

Bottom Line:

JuneShine Tequila Margarita is a decent example of an RTD done right. This isn’t a cocktail in a can like some on this list, but it’s also not a sugary mess either.

5) Crafthouse Cocktails Paloma (Taste 5)

Crafthouse Cocktails Paloma
Crafthouse

ABV: 10.6%

Average Price: $26 for a four-pack of 200ml bottles

The RTD:

It seems that many brands make overly sweet paloma RTDs and it’s a real shame. Luckily, Crafthouse, one of the pioneers of pre-mixed cocktails, has a paloma worth drinking. It’s 10.6% and made the right way with La Cofradia Tequila, lime juice, and sparkling grapefruit.

Bottom Line:

I’m not surprised Crafthouse Cocktails Paloma is a good example of an RTD.

I tried this years ago when it first came out and was impressed. I’m equally impressed today.

4) Post Meridiem Spirits Margarita (Taste 6)

Post Meridiem Spirits Margarita
Post Meridiem

ABV: 27.5%

Average Price: $3.99 for a 100ml can

The RTD:

This award-winning ready-to-drink cocktail is a potent 55 proof. Made with just three ingredients: silver tequila, orange curacao, and real lime juice, it’s simple, well-balanced, bold, and deserves to be sipped slowly as it’s an actual cocktail and not a sugary soda with a little alcohol in it.

Bottom Line:

It’s probably not completely fair comparing a literal canned cocktail to low-ABV RTDS, but that’s just too bad. They both technically fall under the same category. I can’t help that the real thing just tastes better.

3) Ranch Rider Ranch Water (Taste 8)

Ranch Rider Ranch Water
Ranch Rider

ABV: 5.99%

Average Price: $12.99 for a six-pack

The RTD:

While it’s clear I lean towards higher-alcohol content tequila-based RTDs, sometimes you just want something crisp, light, and refreshing. Ranch Rider Ranch Water fits that bill with simple ingredients like reposado tequila, lime juice, and sparkling water.

Bottom Line:

I was surprised to see one of the lower-ABV offerings land so high on this blind taste test ranking. But Ranch Rider’s Ranch Water has the right mix of tequila and citrus sweetness without being sugary.

2) Golden Rule Margarita Original (Taste 2)

Golden Rule Margarita Original
Golden Rule

ABV: 27%

Average Price: $17.50 for a four-pack of 100ml cans

The RTD:

You can tell just by looking at this squat, little can, you’re in for something special when you crack it open. This 27% ABV pre-made cocktail in a can is made with 100% Blue Agave blanco tequila that’s mixed with the brand’s own proprietary triple sec, and real lime juice.

Bottom Line:

There’s a reason Golden Rule Margarita Original comes in such a small can (100ml). It’s a real, potent, tart, zesty, tequila-fueled cocktail. If you want a legit margarita, but you’re too lazy to mix it, grab a four-pack of these bad boys.

1) Tip Top Margarita (Taste 4)

Tip Top Margarita
Tip Top

ABV: 26%

Average Price: $4.99 for a 100ml can

The RTD:

This 52-proof canned cocktail was created to be as close to a post-prohibition margarita as possible. This bold, potent combination of real tequila, orange liqueur, and lime juice was created to be cracked open, poured over ice, and enjoyed as close to the real thing you’d get at a bar as possible.

Bottom Line:

Honestly, it was a toss-up between Tip Top’s Margarita and Golden Rule’s for the top spot. Both are perfectly prepared, high-alcohol margaritas that are ready to be poured right into your glass. The one thing that Tip Top had that put it over the top was the slightly salty flavor that was reminiscent of a salted rim.

Part 3: Final Thoughts

When I blindly tasted these tequila-based RTDs, I realized that there are two different varieties: the low-alcohol crushable cocktails and the high-proof sippers. While the lower ABV drinks are flavorful, it’s obvious I prefer the higher-ABV RTDS that taste like an actual cocktail slightly more. Most tequila drinks are easy to mix but if you’re hosting a big crew and strapped for time, a lot of these do the trick nicely!

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Big KRIT Hits The ‘Rhode Clean’ In His Silky New Video

Big KRIT dropped off the latest video supporting his album Digital Roses Don’t Die today (June 1) for “Rhode Clean.” The ’80s-inspired visual directed by Thang Ho opens with an exquisitely dressed woman doing a brief stand-up comedy set before introducing the Mississippi rapper, who comes onto the stage dressed pretty sharply himself. From there, he delivers a performance of the record accompanied by a live band. The video continues showing flashes of luxury vehicles, other attendees dressed to the nines, and KRIT eventually makes his way outside to rap while flanked by women sitting atop one of the cars. It’s a special affair.

“Rhode Clean” follows the “So Cool” music video that was released back in January, leading into the February release of Digital Roses Don’t Die. The 17-song album’s sole feature was Rolynne and is the 35-year-old’s fifth studio album following 2019’s KRIT Iz Here. Big KRIT left the Def Jam label in 2016, and has since launched his own record label, Multi Alumni. The first release under Multi Alumni was his third studio album, 2017’s 4eva Is A Mighty Long Time, which debuted at No. 7 on the Billboard 200 chart.

Check out the smooth new video for “Rhode Clean” above.

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Classic Small Batch Bourbon Whiskeys Tasted ‘Double Blind’ And Ranked

“Small Batch” bourbon still has a lot of shine to it in 2022. Small batch bourbons tend to be the first step away from the regular gateway bottles into a wider, more cultivated world of bourbon connoisseurship. Think Jim Beam White Label shooters graduating to Knob Creek Small Batch Aged 9 Years in a rocks glass. Those are the same bourbons from the same distillery, but from different barrels with different flavor profiles, and one is twice the price.

It’s important to point out that while “small batch” is on a lot of bottles, it is simply a marketing term. There are no laws stipulating what can be legally called a “small batch,” and the definition varies a lot from brand to brand. I can tell you for a fact that some “small batch” bourbons have more barrels in them than a standard Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 release (which is made in 375 barrel batches). True, some small batches are only three, five, or 10 barrels per release, but that’s pretty rare. Sometimes “small batch” is literally true, and sometimes it’s more of an aspiration.

Anyway, since “small batch” is still such an important designation, I decided to “double-blind” taste 12 classics, new, and crafty small batch bourbons from my shelf. I enlisted my wife to grab any bourbon bottle with “small batch” or “batch no.” on the label and number them in Glencairn glasses for me.

Our lineup today is:

  • Knob Creek Small Batch Aged 9 Years
  • Broken Barrel Small Batch Bourbon 95 Proof
  • Kentucky Peerless Small Batch Bourbon
  • Smooth Ambler Old Scout Bourbon Batch no. 129
  • Paul Sutton Small Batch Bourbon
  • Garrison Brothers Small Batch Texas Bourbon
  • Michter’s US*1 Small Batch Bourbon
  • Booker’s “Bardstown Batch”
  • Uncle Nearest 1884 Small Batch Whiskey
  • Four Roses Small Batch Select
  • Jefferson’s Reserve Very Old Very Small Batch
  • Bib & Tucker Small Batch Tennessee Bourbon Aged 6 Years

Let’s dive in!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

Part 1: The Tasting

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Taste 1

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Okay, here’s the problem with being a pro judge/taster and doing this shit double-blind. I know this is Knob Creek from the second I take a whiff. There’s cherry Coke, cinnamon sticks, kettle corn, pecan waffles, lush vanilla, nutmeg, orange zest, and a hint of leather. It’s a pure classic. That orange zest and winter spice combine for a warm mid-palate with a cherry bark vibe. The finish is warm doughnuts with a cinnamon glaze next to bright Bing cherries dropping in an orchard.

Since I know this is Beam, I’m now curious to see what’ll beat it today. I know I have some bangers on my shelf. Let’s see how they do.

Taste 2

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Wow, this is another classic on the nose with big notes of dark cherry, rich cacao, raw biscuits, and wintery spice next to vanilla beans and a hint of caramel. The palate largely delivers on that nose, which is a little bit of a letdown, but also layers in some dark cacao and espresso beans with clove/cinnamon/allspice spicy warmth. The end is cherry tobacco dipped in lush eggnog and packed into a cedar box.

Taste 3

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This is wildly different with a soft yet sweet nose full of blackberry pie filling, old boot leather, Almond Roca candies, and a moist yet rich pipe tobacco just kissed with apple/vanilla. That vanilla turns into a silky cream on the palate as espresso beans covered in creamy dark chocolate give way to dry cedar bark braids, a touch of pine pitch, and freshly ground nutmeg. That woody mid-point builds a light Kentucky Hug of warmth as the finish dives into sugar pies with a berry compote drizzle, eggnog ice cream, and winter spices leading to old wicker porch furniture on the very back end.

No “pancake batter” or “waffles” or “raw biscuits” on the nose means this isn’t a sour mash. That makes this Peerless — one of the only sweet mash small batches on my shelf right now. Plus, it’s not funky enough to be a Wilderness Trail. This is now the pour to beat.

Taste 4

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This is fascinating on the nose with a mix of spicy chocolate-laced tobacco stuffed in a cedar box next to packets of taco seasoning with a hint of wet yellow masa lurking in the background. The taste goes on a separate journey toward cherry Coke, damp straw bales, vanilla pudding powder, and dried chili-infused dark chocolates with a flake of salt and dry oak. The end is part vanilla and toffee and part singed marshmallow with that cherry attaching itself to the spicy tobacco.

Taste 5

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This is like opening a barn door to a cow stall on the nose, I’m not kidding. It’s pure barnyard funk nest to sour cherry and a touch of a pine box. The taste veers into sweet cornbread with notes of chocolate-covered cherries and caramel balancing things out. The end is pecan pie with more of that cherry/chocolate vibe with a hint of spicy warmth.

This was jarring.

Taste 6

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Wet cornmeal and oats (hello, Garrison Brothers) lead to worn leather, caramel apples from the state fair, and a hint of cinnamon toast on the nose. Those wet grains drive the palate toward buttery shortbread with plenty of vanilla and lemon oils with a hint of orange oils, cinnamon, and old oak. The mid-palate goes full vanilla sheet cake with lemon frosting as woody spices add a nice heat alongside salted caramel drizzled over apple pie with a whisper of sweet campfire smoke lurking on the back end.

Taste 7

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Okay, here we go. The nose opens with this mix of salted caramel doughnuts next to bruised peaches with a sense of bespoke cream soda laced with dark cherry and a thin echo of singed marshmallows. The palate has a creamy texture — kind of like those peaches swimming in vanilla-laced heavy cream — that gives way to a matrix of winter spices with a slight peppery edge. The mid-palate amps up the cinnamon and clove as the peach stews down with those spices and a hint of maple syrup before toffee tobacco kicks in with a hint of charred cedar planks on the finish.

I mean, this is very clearly Michter’s and delicious. I’m not sure it beats Peerless right now though.

Taste 8

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Another “classic” bourbon on the nose with big notes of old cherry leather, vanilla tobacco pipe tobacco, chewy caramel candies, and Sioux City Sasparilla straight out of the glass bottle. That sweetness is short-lived as the palate bursts with ABVs — read: heat — with Red Hot cinnamon, clove berries, anise, and allspice all mixing before soft and lush marzipan calms things down. Chili-infused dark chocolate keeps things hot on the back end as wet cedar and dark cherry tobacco round out the taste.

This was good but pretty goddamn hot on the mid-palate.

Taste 9

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Wow, this is thin compared to the last dram — feels unfair to taste this right away after that high-proof monster.

Anyway, there are notes of pecans and raw pancake batter on the nose with a hint of leather and cinnamon. The palate is all apple pie and vanilla ice cream with a touch more cinnamon and cherry Necco Wafers but ultimately kind of washed out. The finish amps things up with cherry multi-vitamins and chocolate milk powder and a hint more of that leather for the nose.

Taste 10

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This nose is enticing with a mix of dark berries and cloves with a yeasty doughnut filled with dark fruit and covered in powdered sugar next to a thin line of berry brambles — stems, thorns, dirt, leaves, and all. The palate is lush with a balance of berry pie filling next to winter spices, mincemeat pies, nutshells, and brandy butter vanilla sauce. The finish arrives with a rush of fresh mint next to wet oak, blackberry Hostess Pies, and nutmeg-heavy eggnog next to a final note of that berry bramble dirt.

This is a contender! It’s also very clearly Four Roses with all of that dark berry, spice, and earthiness.

Taste 11

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Thin on the nose, this opens with classic notes of caramel, vanilla, and leather with a hint of oak and cherry. That thinness continues on the palate (thanks, low ABVs) while stewed apples, buttery toffee, nutmeg, and a hint of walnut mingle. The finish stays in the “classic” lane with mild notes of caramel and vanilla countered by apple pie and oakiness.

Taste 12

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Raw leather and wet cedar mix with vanilla cream and a sense of black licorice protein powder. The palate leans into ginger spiciness with yellow masa and cinnamon-heavy apple cider rounding things out. The finish is light and has a black Necco Wafer vibe next to winter spices and apple tobacco warmth on the end.

Part 2: The Ranking

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

12. Paul Sutton Small Batch Bourbon — Taste 5

Paul Sutton

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $65

The Whiskey:

Paul Sutton is a new bourbon from an old family recipe. I know, we’ve all heard it before. The new whiskey is not a blend of sourced bourbons. The brand took the time to release its contract distilled whiskey. The bourbon mash bill has a touch of rye in it and it aged for up to five years in medium char barrels.

Bottom Line:

That barnyard funk was just too much to get past today. Had it layered into something on the palate, it would have worked. But here we are.

11. Uncle Nearest 1884 Small Batch Whiskey — Taste 9

Uncle Nearest 1884
Uncle Nearest

ABV: 46.5%

Average Price: $49

The Whiskey:

This whiskey is built from a batch of barrels that are a minimum of seven years old. Nearest’s master blender, Victoria Eady-Butler, builds the blend according to classic flavor notes first put into Tennessee whiskey by her ancestor, Nearest Green, back in the 1800s.

Bottom Line:

I want this at barrel proof. Uncle Nearest 1854 is at least at 100 proof, which is a big step up.

10. Jefferson’s Reserve Very Old Very Small Batch Bourbon — Taste 11

Jefferson's Reserve
Jeffersons Reserve

ABV: 41.5%

Average Price: $27

The Whiskey:

This is a sourced bourbon from around Kentucky. The age, mash, and vital details are undisclosed. What we do know is that the team at Jefferson’s spends a lot of time tinkering with their barrels to create accessible and affordable bourbons.

Bottom Line:

This is another one that falls down thanks to all that proofing water. It’s just washed out. At least here, though, there’s still a decent depth on the palate.

9. Bib & Tucker Small Batch Tennessee Bourbon Aged 6 Years — Taste 12

Deutsch Family Wine & Spirits

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $54

The Whiskey:

Bib & Tucker pulls barrels of Tennessee whiskey from an old and quiet valley in the state. They then blend those barrels to meet their brand’s flavor notes. While they are distilling their own whiskey now, this is still all about the blending of those barrels in small batches.

Bottom Line:

That Tennessee whiskey vitamin note is there but not the star of the show. Still, this is fine. Their 10-year expression is the one to go for though.

8. Broken Barrel Small Batch Bourbon — Taste 2

Broken Barrel Small Batch
Broken Barrel

ABV: 47.5%

Average Price: $35

The Whiskey:

This Kentucky whiskey is made under contract at Owensboro Distilling Co. The mash is 70% corn, 21% rye, and nine percent malted barley. Those barrels then have oak staves put in them for a final maturation. The “Oak Bill” by Broken Barrel is 40% French oak, 40% ex-bourbon, and 20% sherry cask staves. That whiskey is then blended and bottled after proofing.

Bottom Line:

This was amongst the “that’s fine” run on this tasting. It didn’t jump out at me until I saw the reveal and the price. This is pretty good stuff for around $30.

7. Garrison Brothers Small Batch Texas Bourbon — Taste 6

Garrison Brothers

ABV: 47%

Average Price: $85

The Whiskey:

Garrison Brothers is a true grain-to-glass experience from Hye, Texas. The juice is a wheated bourbon made with local, Texas grains. That spirit is then aged under the beating heat of a hot Texas sun before the barrels are small-batched (with only 55 barrels per batch), proofed with local water, and bottled.

Bottom Line:

This always surprises me with that bold and wet/grainy nose. It’s so distinct. Still, this feels very entry-level every time. And that’s fine because that’s what it is. That’s also why it’s in the middle of this ranking.

6. Knob Creek Small Batch Bourbon Aged 9 Years — Taste 1

Beam Suntory

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $36

The Whiskey:

This entry-point to Jim Beam’s small batch Knob Creek is a nine-year-old classic. The juice is a low-rye mash that’s aged in new oak in Beam’s vast warehouses for a minimum of nine years. The whiskey is then vatted and cut down to 100 proof before being bottled in new, wavy bottles.

Bottom Line:

I knew this was Knob Creek. It was also the perfect middle-of-the-road pour today. It was classic and refined but nothing more. Still, I’d order this at a bar and be pretty satisfied and not have to rob a bank to pay my bar tab. Those are big wins these days.

5. Smooth Ambler Old Scout Batch no. 129 — Taste 4

Smooth Ambler Old Scout Bourbon
Smooth Ambler

ABV: 49.5%

Average Price: $41

The Whiskey:

Old Scout is MGP’s classic high rye bourbon — 60% corn, 36% rye, and four percent malt barley — that’s aged for five years. The juice is batched in small quantities and proofed down with West Virginia’s Appalachian water.

Bottom Line:

I dig this unique bourbon. The only reason it ranks a little lower is that the Tex-Mex vibe feels more like a one-off I’d break out on taco night instead of an everyday sipper.

4. Booker’s “Bardstown Batch” — Taste 8

Booker's Bardstown Batch
Beam Suntory

ABV: 62.75%

Average Price: $90

The Whiskey:

The whiskey in the bottle is the classic Jim Beam low-rye mash bill. The barrels were aged for exactly six years and five months before the juice went into the bottle untouched at cask strength.

Bottom Line:

Had this been poured over a single rock, it might have won. That mid-palate tastes like burning. Once you get past that, there’s so much going on and it’s all good.

3. Four Roses Small Batch Select — Taste 10

Four Roses

ABV: 52%

Average Price: $60

The Whiskey:

This expression uses six of Four Rose’s 10 whiskeys in their small-batching process. The idea is to blend both high and low-rye bourbons with yeast strains that highlight “delicate fruit,” “slight spice,” and “herbal notes.” The whiskeys tend to spend at least six years in the barrel before blending and proofing with just a touch of Kentucky’s soft limestone water.

Bottom Line:

There were only three bourbons that stood out today and this was one of them. I went back and forth on these three with the ranking for a few minutes. I ended up putting this in third simply because it was just interesting and lush. The next one is interesting and lush but also classic and takes you on more of a journey.

2. Michter’s US*1 Small Batch Bourbon — Taste 7

Michters Distillery

ABV: 45.7%

Average Price: $50

The Whiskey:

Michter’s really means the phrase “small batch” here. The tank they use to marry their hand-selected eight-year-old bourbons can only hold 20 barrels, so that’s how many go into each small-batch bottling. The blended juice is then proofed with Kentucky’s famously soft limestone water and bottled.

Bottom Line:

This is a quintessential bourbon at this point. This was in the “one” slot a few times before it ended up at two. Mostly, that’s due to the way Peerless really stood out as something special against a lot of sour mash. That said, this might as well be tied for first.

1. Peerless Small Batch Bourbon — Taste 3

Kentucky Peerless Distilling

ABV: 54.65%

Average Price: $86

The Whiskey:

Kentucky Peerless Distilling takes its time for a true grain-to-glass experience. Their Single Barrel Bourbon is crafted with a fairly low-rye mash bill and fermented with a sweet mash as opposed to a sour mash (that means they use 100% new grains, water, and yeast with each new batch instead of holding some of the mash over to start the next one like a sourdough starter, hence the name). The barrels are then hand-selected for their taste and bottled completely un-messed with.

Bottom Line:

Sweet mash wins the day! This felt new and fresh while still having a deeply nostalgic and comforting flavor profile. It was just good in all ways.

Part 3: Final Thoughts

Small Batch Bourbon Blind
Zach Johnston

I feel like Peerless and Michter’s at one and two, respectively, are like two sides of the same coin. One side is classic and well-worn while the other side is fresh and shining yet both are still very alluring. That Four Roses really stood out though. I’m still on the fence about ranking it higher.

There was a pretty big gap between three and four and then nine and 10. For me, I’d buy anything between nine and four as a mixing bourbon or just something to have on the table at a party for the guests. I have no ill-will towards any of them. They make sense, taste good, and are perfectly fine. They’re just not outstanding like three, two, and one. Each of the top three is a world-class sipper that also works wonders as the foundation of a great cocktail.

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Amber Heard Is ‘Heartbroken’ About What The Jury’s Decision In The Depp V. Heard Trial Means For Other Women

Amber Heard is “heartbroken” about the jury’s decision to find her guilty of defamation against ex-husband Johnny Depp, she wrote in a statement following the verdict’s announcement. “The disappointment I feel today is beyond words. I’m heartbroken that the mountain of evidence still was not enough to stand up to the disproportionate power, influence, and sway of my ex-husband,” she wrote.

Heard is “even more disappointed with what this verdict means for other women.” She called it a “setback” and that it “sets back the clock to a time when a woman who spoke up and spoke out could be publicly shamed and humiliated. It sets back the idea that violence against women is to be taken seriously.” The actress continued:

I believe Johnny’s attorneys succeeded in getting the jury to overlook the key issue of Freedom of Speech and ignore evidence that was so conclusive that we won in the UK. I’m sad I lost this case. But I am sadder still that I seem to have lost a right I thought I had as an American — to speak freely and openly.

Depp was awarded $10 million in compensatory damages and $5 million in punitive damages in his defamation suit (which attracted more viewers online than the Better Call Saul midseason finale), while Heard will receive $2 million in compensatory damages.

You can read her statement below:

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Stephen A. Smith Laid Out Why He Thinks Michael Jordan Changed The NBA ‘For The Worse’

Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors are in the NBA Finals. It’s the culmination of the team taking two full years to reload after their last appearance in the Finals in 2019, and for Curry, this presents the best chance he’s had to earn the first NBA Finals MVP award of his decorated career.

There’s been a lot of discussion about Curry’s legacy and how winning that will impact it, because basketball cannot be about the game itself and has to be about this sort of stuff, instead. Anyway, let’s go to First Take, where the topic of how Curry impacted the game was broached on Wednesday morning. It took quite the turn when Stephen A. Smith decided to make the argument that Michael Jordan actually really hurt the game of basketball by making it more about individuals than teams.

“It’s not Steph Curry’s fault because Steph Curry can shoot,” Smith said. “Steph Curry, people say he changed the game — no, no, he elevated it to a point where it was acceptable because you’re looking for somebody to produce somewhere close in the vicinity of what he does, and what Klay Thompson does to a slightly lesser degree.”

Smith went on to argue that the person who changed basketball in such a way that Curry could come along and elevate it was Mike D’Antoni, who ushered in the era of shooting threes and layups. Then, he decided to bring up Jordan and make the case for why “he’s responsible, as much as anybody, for changing the game for the worse.”

While Smith made clear he does not mean to disrespect the best player of all time, he does believe Jordan’s greatness came at a cost.

“He was so phenomenal that the NBA marketed the individual, the audience gravitated toward the individual, and the game became a bit more individualized, because people wanted to be like Mike,” Smith said.

He brought up the two players who were viewed as the faces of the game just before Jordan — Larry Bird and Magic Johnson — and said that while they were great individuals, they were cogs in a machine where all the players around them were elevated.

“You were thinking team until Jordan elevated it to another level, and from Jordan, then you had the Kobes and the Vince Carters and others that came along thereafter, and the individualization of the sport, particularly because of the money that came with it, became more of a focal point,” Smith said. “So I would tell you Mike D’Antoni in terms of the three-point shooting and making sure to maintain the pace, letting people score so you don’t disrupt the pace, and then Jordan with the individuality, even though obviously he was a team player and the Chicago Bulls were a great team. The marketing of individual. Those two components is what made the game what it is today.”

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Jack Harlow And Drake Take In The Kentucky Derby For Their New ‘Churchill Downs’ Video

It was unsurprising to see Jack Harlow at the 2022 Kentucky Derby back on May 7, given that he’s a proud Louisville native and his new album, Come Home The Kids Miss You, has a song called “Churchill Downs,” named after the famous venue where the storied horse race has been held for nearly 150 years now (this year’s race was the 148th). He and Drake (who features on the song) made some noise at the event, whether it was Harlow getting carried around, Harlow trying to match Drake’s bets, or Drake crashing a Harlow interview.

It turns out that while the pair was there, they also shot a video for their collaboration, which was shared today. Along with B-roll of race attendees, the event atmosphere, and running horses, the video is mostly clips of Harlow and Drake rapping at the camera and otherwise enjoying the event. The clip actually also includes a bit of footage of Harlow in a baseball bat factory, presumably that of Louisville Slugger (or at least at a different factory but in reference/homage to the esteemed bat brand).

Watch the “Churchill Downs” video above.

Jack Harlow is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Elliot Page Has Shared His ‘Biggest Joy’ Since Coming Out As Transgender

Juno earned Elliot Page an Oscar nomination, but it wasn’t an all-together fun experience for the actor. “When Juno was at the height of its popularity, during awards-season time, I was closeted, dressed in heels, and the whole look — I wasn’t okay, and I didn’t know how to talk about that with anyone,” he wrote in a cover story for Esquire.

Page can’t single out a “worst day” before his “life-saving” transition, but “when Juno was blowing up — this sounds strange to people, and I get that people don’t understand. ‘Oh, f*ck you, you’re famous, and you have money, and you had to wear a dress, boo-hoo.’ I don’t not understand that reaction. But that’s mixed with: I wish people would understand that that sh*t literally did almost kill me.” He continued:

“So I said I wanted to wear a suit, and Fox Searchlight was basically like, ‘No, you need to wear a dress.’ And they took me in a big rush to one of those fancy stores on Bloor Street. They had me wear a dress, and… that was that. And then all the Juno press, all the photo shoots — Michael Cera was in slacks and sneakers. I look back at the photos, and I’m like…?”

Page also shared his “biggest joy” since coming out. “What have I learned from transitioning? I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself,” he said. “I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself. It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present.”

Page will soon appear in The Umbrella Academy season 3, which premieres on June 22.

(Via Esquire)

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Jesus Christ, The Depp-Heard Verdict Had More Live Viewers Than The Season Finales Of ‘Abbott Elementary’ And ‘Better Call Saul’

After nearly two months of dominating headlines, the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial prepared to announce its verdict on Wednesday afternoon, and within minutes, it had already racked up more live viewers than the season finales of Abbott Elementary and Better Call Saul. (Technically, Better Call Saul‘s was a mid-season finale, but you get the gist.)

At the time of this writing, over 3 million viewers were streaming the courtroom proceedings on YouTube alone, which again, are the kind of numbers that TV networks would consider a huge win. And that’s not even counting live feed on Twitter and Court TV who saw a massive boom in viewership, which the relaunched network likened to the O.J. Simpson trial.

The Depp vs. Heard trial has been highly contentious thanks to legions of online Depp fans (and some celebrities) defending the actor against Heard’s accusations of domestic violence. Those accusations stood up during a libel suit in British court where Depp failed to successfully sue The Sun for calling him a “wife beater.” However, an American jury has ruled against Heard and issued a verdict that she defamed Depp with malice. It was a stunning verdict considering Depp’s celebrity status, which often significantly raises the bar in proving defamation. As of this writing, Heard will be forced to pay her ex-husband $15 million instead of the proposed $50 million that he was seeking.

In short, now might be a good time to stay off social media. Maybe take a little break.

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Ckay Teaches Us ‘Pidgin English For Dummies’

One of the rising trends in pop music has been the explosion in the popularity of international music in America, especially Nigerian Afropop (also known by the confusing moniker “Afrobeats” or by Burna Boy‘s chosen appellative, “Afrofusion”). But as international music becomes more mainstream stateside, one barrier still remains in bridging the gap between America and the world — namely, the language barrier. Thanks to stars singing in their native languages of Spanish, Korean, and three or four Nigerian dialects, being a music fan is starting to mean becoming a polyglot.

Fortunately, Nigerian star Ckay is more than willing to help his growing US audience learn his favorite Igbo phrases. He recently stopped by the Uproxx Studios in LA to help give us a “Pidgin English for Dummies” lesson on TikTok with the help of Uproxx’s own Cherise Johnson. Check out the video below, where Ckay explains “nwantiti” — as in, his hit song “Love Nwantiti” — “mezebu,” and “wahala.” He even shows us how to use them in a sentence, mixing English and Igbo for some useful phrases that can help unlock the infectious grooves of Afropop with a little more context for those of us who didn’t grow up on jollof and moi moi.

Ckay is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.