The Russian invasion of Ukraine is about to enter its fourth month, and no matter what Vladimir Putin tells his people, it’s not going well for them. The aggressor nation has been hit with untold sanctions, which have affected everyone from yacht-owning oligarchs to local Netflix subscribers. But now Russia is hitting back at their critics in one relatively small way: They’ve banned almost 1,000 Americans from entering the nation — and before you ask, yes, Morgan Freeman is among them.
As per The Hill, Russia unveiled a list on Saturday that included a whopping 963 names, all Americans, all of them permanently banned from visiting the land that once produced such game-changing luminaries as Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Pyotr Tchaikovsky, and Sergei Eisenstein. There are the usual suspects: Joe Biden (and his son Hunter), Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Cory Booker, etc. There are also, strangely, some folks from MAGA world, including Louie Gohmert and Paul Gosar. (One name not on it: Donald J. Trump.)
There were even some names from the entertainment industry. Rob Reiner, an outspoken critic of Trump and Russia, was no surprise. But what is Morgan Freeman doing on it? What did the guy from Lucky Number Slevin ever do? Well, maybe it has to do with a video he participated in back in 2017 in which he called out Russia for its alleged interference in the 2016 election.
“We have been attacked. We are at war,” Freeman says in the video, looking straight into the camera, his voice at its authoritative-cum-soothing best. He even accused Putin of using cyberwarfare “like the true K.G.B. spy he is.” He then called on then-president Trump to “use every resource available to conduct a thorough investigation to determine exactly how this happened.”
The video enraged Russian authorities and locals at the time. Perhaps they haven’t forgotten. And now they’ve included him in what the nation’s foreign ministry admits is a reponse to the sanctions they’ve received since invading Ukraine. Anyway, it’s their loss. It just means more occasions to hear him narrate the pool scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High for the rest of us.
David Cronenberg hasn’t made a movie in eight years, and he hasn’t made a proper “body horror” movie in far longer than that — since 1999’s eXistenZ, where futuristic gamers plug consoles directly into their bodies. Is the director of such vomit bag classics as Scanners, Videodrome, and The Fly — to say nothing of transgressive sex movies like Crash and Naked Lunch — back in the habit? The first reviews of his new Crimes of the Future, say yes — but they also promise something else: an experience that, at least on first viewing, isn’t easy to get a hold on.
The new Crimes of the Future (not to be confused with a somewhat similar early work from 1970 of the same name) stars regular Viggo Mortensen as a performance artist (named Saul Tenser) who has become obsessed with growing new kinds of organs inside his body, crafted by his personal surgeon (Léa Seydoux). Having cast Robert Pattinson in his last twofilms, Cronenberg turns to fellow Twilight alum Kristen Stewart, who plays a government agent who examines their work.
Despite breaking through as a master of horror, Cronenberg is also what you could dub a maker of art films, and he’s long fused the two genres in ways that are both beguiling and sometimes tricky to grok. It can take multiple viewings to get what he’s doing, especially when he strays from genre, as he’s done with the likes of Dead Ringers, Naked Lunch, Crash, and more. Though Crimes’ first wave of Cannes reviews have been positive, even the raves are tempered with warnings that it can be rough going. Cronenberg himself has promised mass walk-outs, and the reviews agree that it’s at least pretty darn gross.
Whether you have the stomach to survive “Crimes of the Future” would seem to be a more complicated matter. At a time when holy s*it, you have to see this insanity has become the fastest shortcut for arthouse fare to get around the always-suffocating layers of superhero movie hype, it was inevitable that Cronenberg’s first movie since “Maps to the Stars” would be positioned as some kind of sick endurance test that found him revisiting the familiar preoccupations of body horror classics like “Dead Ringers” and “The Fly” so that he could combine all of their gnarliest moments into a career-spanning orgy of squelching latex.
Varietyargues that is “out to provoke and disturb us with something far more traumatic than mere monsters”:
Am I talking about the fact that in the distant future where the film is set, human beings grow mysterious new organs in their bodies? Or that having those organs removed through surgery has become, for a creepy rebel aesthete named Saul Tenser (Viggo Mortensen), a species of performance art? Or that people no longer experience physical pain, and will therefore stand in the street late at night cutting each other for cheap thrills, as if they were shooting heroin in a back alley? Or that surgery itself, as someone puts it, has become “the new sex”?
Entertainment Weeklydescribes it as a “Cronenberg Greatest Hits” collection, “so loaded does it it come with his signature themes and gooey, seemingly hand-crafted contours.” Critic Leah Greenblatt also calls it “inscrutable,” saying that, “Aside from a few neat visual tricks — a chair seemingly made of rubberized bones, a writhing dancer dotted with real human ears like a walking Duchamp punchline — the film unfurls mostly in shadows and corners, and so do its characters’ inner lives.”
His new film — titled “Crimes of the Future,” as in committed by rather than during that span of time — finds the master on the other side of his extended sojourn in high-minded literary adaptation, biopic quasi-prestige, and Tinseltown satire, back to playing the body-horror hits on which he made his name. He’s resumed pondering the permeability of flesh, how its penetration by surgical tools (the new sex, as we’re informed) can be just as intimately sensual as good old fornication. We’re treated to state-of-the-art grotesqueries
Originally readied for production in 2003 before being canceled, this is a film very much targeted to the director’s core audience; rarely, if ever, have human organs played such an important role in one of his works, and that’s saying something. But whether it’s age or inclination, he’s having a bit of fun with his grotesque conceits here and taking them less seriously; he’s not at a self-parody stage, but there’s something of a wink behind what he’s doing that wasn’t often in evidence before.
Cronenberg’s A History Of Violence and Eastern Promises star Viggo Mortensen plays Saul Tenser, in eternal discomfort because his body is rebelling against him. Within him grow unnatural organs, which his partner Caprice (Léa Seydoux) removes during live performance art ceremonies. They live in an underground bunker, or maybe it’s a dried-out aqueduct, and Saul sleeps in what looks like a giant upside-down beetle. He eats in a contraption made from bones that jostles him around, supposedly to help him digest. Whenever he goes out, he wears a cloak like he’s about to sing backup for Enigma. Nothing about it makes a lick of sense, but there’s a surreal flow to it all that, in the moment, carries you from scene to scene.
Crimes of the Future is set to be released in June. You can watch the latest red band trailer above, though be forewarned: It’s intense.
Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it’s fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.
Alberto’s legs can’t even reach the pedals, but that doesn’t stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition “Città di Penne” in Italy. Even if you’ve seen young musicians play impressively, it’s hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.
Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.
Alberto started playing in 2020 in the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Italy was one of the first countries to experience a serious lockdown, and Alberto’s mother used the opportunity to start teaching her son to play piano. Alessia Cingolani and her husband Simone Cartuccia are both music conservatory graduates, and mom Alessia told Italian entertainment website Contrataque that she and her husband recognized Alberto’s talent immediately.
She said that although Alberto spends a lot of time at the piano, he also has plenty of time for school and play and television, like a normal kid.
There’s genuinely nothing “normal” about this kid’s piano playing, though. Watch:
Wow, right? There are countless adults who took years of piano lessons and never got to that level of playing. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.
According to Corriere Adriatico, by the time he was 4 1/2 years old, Alberto had participated in seven national and international online competitions and won first place in all of them. His mother told the outlet that he started out practicing for about 10 minutes a day and gradually increased to three hours.
“He has a remarkable flair for the piano,” she said. Um, yeah. Clearly.
Some commenters expressed some concern for the boy based on his seriousness and what looks like dark circles under his eyes in the video, but if you check out other videos of Alberto playing at home, he is more relaxed. Most of his playing and competition entries have been done online, so performing for a crowd is probably new for him. And in interviews, his mother has made it clear that they prioritize normal childhood activities.
Some children are just genuine prodigies, and Alberto certainly seems to fit that bill. Can’t wait to see what kind of musical future awaits this kid.
Despite being a one-term former president who now rants to strangers in resorts in which he now lives, Donald Trump remains the prospective Republican candidate for the 2024 election. Oh, and he also appears to be okay with a second Civil War! But should he even have enough money to run a third time, he might have a surprising challenger: his former vice president Mike Pence.
In a new profile by The New York Times, Pence was asked if he’d run again, and his answer was cagey but telling. “We’ll go where we’re called,” he replied, saying he would leave it up to prayer. “That’s the way Karen and I have always approached these things.”
Pence did not trash-talk Trump, saying he was “incredibly proud” of their five years of campaigning and leading the nation. Trump, of course, did not return to the favor. After Pence announced he would travel to Georgia to campaign for incumbent Georgia governor Brian Kemp — one of Trump’s biggest punching bags — a spokesperson for the ex-president dissed Pence, charging that he’s “desperate to chase his lost relevance” by “parachuting into races, hoping someone is paying attention.”
Does this mean the bromance between Trump and Pence is finally finito? Whatever the case, things have not been good between them since at least Jan. 6, when Trump’s violent supporters vowed to hang Pence, which Trump has defended. The two have reportedly not talked in a good while, but at least publicly Pence has mostly kept quiet, apart from pointing out that Trump was “wrong” to think Pence could overturn the 2020 election results. Somehow Trump is the mad one here, not the guy who almost got killed.
Sometimes you need a helping hand to have the best possible start. That’s what’s happening with five baby Humboldt penguins at the ZSL London Zoo in England.
Zookeepers have stepped in to help care for the newest inhabitants of the zoo’s Penguin Beach after it was discovered their parents were struggling a little. The keepers have become the penguins’ parents, hand-rearing the little penguins in the zoo’s nursery.
“During the breeding season, we check the nests on Penguin Beach every day, keeping an eye out for any chicks who might not be feeding enough or whose parents are struggling to care for their brood,” ZSL London Zoo penguin keeper Suzi Hyde explained in a statement from the zoo.
“These five chicks all had first-time parents who needed a little bit of extra support, so we were happy to swoop in—with a little help from a few soft toy penguins, donated by the zoo shop, for them to snuggle up to.”
Baby animals usually have a parent to snuggle up to and penguin babies depend on their parents for their survival. Both penguin parents are responsible for the care and feeding of the babies. Adult penguins recognize their babies by their distinct call. The ZSL zookeepers are currently caring for the babies by feeding them round-the-clock. But humans can’t snuggle like their penguin equivalents. Enter the stuffed animals.
All of the little penguins were born between April 14 and 24 and have been living under warming lamps with their stuffed surrogate parent in the center. Currently, they’re being fed something called a “penguin milkshake,” which is a mix of blended fish, minerals and vitamins. It mimics the food that is regurgitated to the babies from their parents.
The zoo recently shared a video of the babies in their little incubator bowls during their daily weigh-ins and it’s clear they’re growing stronger every day.
“The chicks have all steadily increased in weight by ten percent each day, so they’re growing very quickly,” Suzi Hyde said. “They’re always eager for their next meal and make sure we know it’s feeding time — they may be only a month old, but they’ve definitely perfected their squawk!”
Four of the baby penguins are girls and there is one boy. Because they’re inhabitants of London Zoo, the zookeepers thought it would be great to honor Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee by naming each of them after different prominent moments in her 70-year reign as monarch. There’s Hillary, named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the first British person to scale Mount Everest; Bobby, who honors soccer player Bobby Moore leading to a World Cup win in 1966; Apollo, after the moon landing in 1969; Mac, named after Ellen MacArthur, who set a record in 2006 for a nonstop sail around the world; and Bernie, after the creator of the internet, Tim Berners-Lee.
Currently, the penguins are covered in soft gray feathers that aren’t waterproof, so they can’t really do much. In another month or so, when they’re around 10 weeks old, they will be moved to the zoo’s nursery pool and begin swimming lessons. Once they have their waterproof feathers, they’ll join the 62 other Humboldt penguins in the Penguin Beach exhibit.
Warning: This post contains a big-ish spoiler about the Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers movie.
There’s a new Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers movie up on Disney+, and it’s surprisingly meta and clever and funny. Okay, maybe that’s not that surprising considering it stars John Mulaney and Andy Samberg and was directed by the latter’s Lonely Island compatriot Akiva Schaffer. One minor character — Ugly Sonic, voiced by no less than Tim Robinson — has gotten a lot of attention. So has another one, but not for the same reasons.
As caught by writer Ryan Broderick, on his newsletter Garbage Day, a lot of people on the 4chan board /co/, dedicated to comics and cartoons, are more than a little peeved with how it treats one of the late ‘80s/early ‘90s Disney Afternoon show’s main characters. That would be Gadget, the Hackwrench, the gang’s mechanic and all-around tech wizard who’s voiced, on the show and in the movie, by Tress MacNeille, aka the voice of Agnes Skinner, Lunch Lady Doris, and more on The Simpsons.
For some kids of a certain age at a certain time, the blonde-haired Gadget — who, let’s stress, is a cartoon mouse — was something of a, shall we say, epochal figure in one’s development. And, as Broderick noticed, some of them took to the anonymous message board to vent their frustration at what happens to her in the movie: She’s hooked up with Zipper, the housefly, and produced an army of mouse-bug hybrids.
Some of the posts are apoplectic. “Did they stop to consider for a second how this would affect her hoardes [sic] of loyal fans?” one 4chan user steamed. Another condemned the idea of a mouse commingling with a “filthy insect that feeds off excrement” and producing “maggot-vermin abomination offspring.”
The 4chan guys that wanted to fuck Gadget have some thoughts about the new rescue rangers movie on D+. pic.twitter.com/DZCm80N6HR
— Linzyyes, I ship it (@ohmyfandoms31) May 23, 2022
A search on the 4chan board finds still more. “It’s not even about Gadget or you f*cks, it’s about the PRINCIPLE of it,” one wrote. “She represented childhood innocence, and (((they))) corrupted that idea on purpose.” Another wrote, “Bros, how do i cope the fact that the waifu of my infancy got f*cked by a fly?”
For everyone else, the new Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers movie streams on Disney+. It has a Post Malone song.
On her TikTok profile, Katie Norregaard (aka Miss Katie) describes her brand as “if Mr. Rogers and AOC had a kid.” And it’s 100% accurate. The teaching artist has been going viral lately for her kid-friendly tunes that encourage kids to learn about other cultures, speak up for their values and be the best humans they can be.
Let’s face it, some kid’s songs are a tad abrasive with their cutesiness, to put it politely. A certain ditty about a shark pup comes to mind. Norregaard manages to bypass any empty saccharine-ness while still remaining incredibly sweet. The effortless warmth of her voice certainly helps with that. Again, she’s got that Mister Rogers vibe down to a tee.
“Miss Katie” has a treasure trove full of fun creations, such as her jazz version of “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” but it’s her “Chinese Dumpling Song” that’s completely taking over the internet.
The “Chinese Dumpling Song” is all about how to—you guessed it—make a dumpling, which Miss Katie sings with her students in Mandarin. As you can see in the video, the kids absolutely love singing it.
Norregaard told TODAY that the song is normally accompanied by a little toy dumpling to visually explain what would go inside, depending on the culture. Her aim is to instill the importance of appreciating diversity through the two languages we can all understand: music and food.
The song has racked up nearly 90,000 views and an outpouring of well-deserved internet love.
Below is a video of Norregaard singing the song along with her mother, who makes all the gestures in her hand … just like when Norregaard was a child learning the song for the first time.
The overwhelmingly positive response to the “Chinese Dumpling Song” (both from kids and adults alike) was a huge surprise to Norregaard.
She told TODAY, “I didn’t expect that first off that all the students in my class would enjoy it already. But that then it would find a place publicly in the world where so many people were connecting with it.” She added that it instilled “even more confidence and appreciation” within herself for her heritage.
In her quest to “pursue music and mindful kids’ content full-time,” Norregaard has songs about more than just food, although there are a lot of those. Every topic can become a tune—from history, to wellness, to politics.
For example, in the video below, Norregaard teaches kids about protesting. Or as she puts it, “when a group of people come together to say ‘there’s a big problem and something needs to change.’”
She even has videos for parents, helping them to shape more open, productive conversations with their kiddos. In this one, she discusses the importance of telling children the mistakes of grown-ups so that they can “reimagine a better world.”
On her website, Norregaard writes, “I view making music for children to be truly radical, beautiful work.” That sentiment is evident; the amount of love she puts into what she does is truly remarkable. Her sense of purpose is what makes “Miss Katie Sings” so special. Norregaard is providing kids with vital tools to build connections, manage their feelings and better understand the world … making it a better place in the process.
If you’d like to hear even more from Miss Katie Sings, you can follow her on TikTok, Instagram and Patreon.
Madison Cawthorn may have lost re-election, but he’s still got another seven months on the job. That means the eventually ex-Congressman can still get into loads of trouble. And he already has: According to The Hill, the already embattled representative is being investigated over damning allegations that may make his life even worse.
Less than a week after Cawthorn lost his primary to state senator Chuck Edwards, the House Ethics Committee announced they were looking into at least two claims: that he engaged in insider cryptocurrency trading and that he had an improper relationship with one of his staffers.
The first issue involves him promoting the notorious crypto called Let’s Go Brandon, named after the trend late last year in which Republicans used the words as code for “F*ck Joe Biden.” (One fan of the term, you may recall, actually said it to Joe and Jill Biden personally, during a Christmas Eve call about Santa.) Cawthorn failed to report that he had a stake in the company, though he did post a picture of him partying with the crypto’s founder on Instagram.
The second involves the man seen in one of the more risqué videos disseminated by the PAC dedicated to ousting Cawthorn from office. (Having succeeded, they’ve vowed to turn their attention to fellow Ultra MAGA lawmaker Lauren Boebert.) No, not the one where he’s naked in bed dry-humping another man. It’s the one where a different man is groping his crotch, which Cawthorn has claimed was a joke. That man is a distant cousin he’d hired as his scheduler. Along with the suggestive video, Cawthorn is also accused of showering him with gifts.
Cawthorn has maintained his innocence in both cases.
In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” At it’s best, Scotch whisky can be pretty great. Yet, as with anything in this weary old world of ours, there’s just as much out there that’s bad as there is good or even mediocre.
For a little clarity, these are all double-gold medal Scotch whiskies. However, these are the double golds that the judges thought had a chance of winning “best in class” in their respective categories. In this case, those categories are Best Blended Scotch — No Age Statement, Best Blended Scotch – 16 Years and Older, Best Single Malt Scotch – No Age Statement, Best Single Malt Scotch – Up to 12 Years, Best Single Malt Scotch –13 to 19 Years, Best Single Malt Scotch – 20 Years and Older, Best Independent Merchant Single Malt, and Best Blended Malt Scotch Whisky. Of the hundreds of Scotch whiskies that were entered, only 18 bottles actually made it to the finals this year. That’s a pretty elite group of great whiskies.
I’m adding my tasting notes (or the distiller/blender/bottler’s where necessary) to all 18 bottles, below. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a new scotch that makes you as excited as Ron Burgundy was.
Let’s dive in!
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of The Last Six Months
Master Blender Stephanie MacLeod really hits it out of the park with these blends. This one starts with 32-year-old barrels of both single malt and single grain whiskies. Then all the single malts are blended and re-barreled in an “exhausted” barrel (meaning the barrel has aged its last whisky and would otherwise be repurposed). MacLeod does the same with the grain whiskies. Those grain and malt whiskies are then blended and put into another exhausted barrel for a spell. Finally, those barrels are blended and filled into an ex-Pedro Ximenez sherry barrel for a final maturation.
Tasting Notes:
The nose opens with a rich sticky toffee pudding full of black-tea-soaked dates, sharp cinnamon, nutmeg, buttery toffee sauce, and vanilla ice cream with hints of orange zest, wicker, and an old leather tobacco pouch. The palate largely delivers on the nose’s profile with meaty dates, figs, and prunes countered by woody spice, dark fruit leather, and a touch of honey barrel staves. The finish is shorter than expected with all that dark and dried fruit leaving you with a sweetened and wintry vibe.
Bottom Line:
This is a pretty killer whisky and one that’s worth getting excited about. This is on the rarer and spendy side but has a deep flavor profile that’s as rewarding as it’s accessible to the palate.
This blended scotch from Loch Lomond is as bottom shelf as you can get in the U.S. That said, this blend takes barrels of grain and malt whiskies from the famed Loch Lomond distillery and aims them towards a fruity and sweet nature before proofing and blending.
Tasting Notes:
A slight note of bourbon vanilla shines through on the nose with hints of citrus, almonds, and watered down honey — kind of like stirring honey into a tepid glass of tap water. The palate has a mix of dried fruits — raisins, prunes, and maybe dates — with more watered down honey syrup, a touch of Almond Joy, and a hint of mulled wine. The end leans into the dried fruit and mulled wine spices with a final note of what feels like smoked honey.
Bottom Line:
If you’re mixing whisky and Cokes or any highball, this is the bottle to get.
This is another Scotch whisky that’s blended and bottled for the Australian whisky market. The malt and grain whiskies are blended and then finished in barrels that held spice and peat-forward whiskies. That whisky is then blended, proofed down, and bottled as-is.
“NOSE: Creamy toffee, floral with citrus apples. PALATE: Rich campfire smoke with toffee apples, honey, and custard. FINISH: Medium with spicy, sweet mouthfeel and tingle from the campfire smoke.”
Bottom Line:
Since this is an Aussie release, it’s going to be pretty fleeting outside of that market. Still, if you’re heading to Oz anytime soon, keep an eye out for it.
This whisky was actually taken off the market in 2012 and people lost their shit. Diageo came to its senses and brought it back by 2016. The juice is a blend of single malts only, making it a “pure malt” and not a “blended scotch whisky” (that’s blended malts and grain whiskies). The juice primarily comes from Speyside, Highland, Lowland, and Island malts with a focus on a minimum of 15-year-old Talisker, Caol Ila, Cragganmore, and Linkwood.
Tasting Notes:
Cedar boxes full of sweet fruits lead the nose toward black peppercorns and vanilla pods with an underlayer of sweet green grass. That soft cedar leads the taste with support from grilled tropical fruits, dried roses, spiced malts, and chewy apple tobacco. The mid-palate sweetens with a honeycomb vibe as earthy smoke, singed cedar bark, dark cacao nibs, dry reeds, and an echo of sea spray round out the finish.
Bottom Line:
This is probably the most accessible and easy-drinking scotch on the list. You can find this pretty much anywhere. It’s not overly expensive. And, well, it’s just really good as a sipper or mixer.
This blended malt is made for the Australian market. There’s not a whole lot of information about it other than it’s a blend of the “finest” Highland malts.
“This whisky is approachable and accessible — fruity and framed by a great balance of spice and vanilla and finishes with a subtle smoky aroma.”
Bottom Line:
This is pretty much an “I’ll try it when I’m there” whisky. I’m not going to take the time to find this in the U.S. but will give it a shot the next time I’m Down Under.
This single malt from the famed Loch Lomond Distillery is all about the aging process. The hot juice is loaded into ex-bourbon, re-fill bourbon, and re-charred oak barrels for 12 long years. Those barrels are then blended and the whisky is proofed down with Highland spring water.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is a mix of white summer flowers and a lot of fruit kind of like a fruit salad out of the can. The palate really amps up the fruitiness with overripe peaches, bruised pears, and plenty of grilled pineapple next to a rummy spiced cocktail vibe with a little bit of vanilla, allspice, and woody cinnamon. The finish keeps it easy with more canned fruit syrup, a hint of sweetgrass, and a bit of malty spice.
Bottom Line:
This is too fruity to really keep my attention. That said, I could see using this in a citrus-forward cocktail.
This Lowlands whisky is all about tradition and patience in a nearly-thousand-year-old abbey setting. The wash is made from Kingdom of Fife barley with an extra-long fermentation period. After distillation, the juice is loaded into ex-bourbon barrels, ex-wine barriques (casks from Bordeaux), and sherry butts. Those barrels are batched and blended before proofing and bottling as-is without filtration or coloring.
Tasting Notes:
A pile of grilled tropical fruits greets you on the nose with pineapple and mango being the most distinct alongside wintry spices, a touch of vanilla, old leather gloves, and a hint of sweet oak. The taste largely follows that path and layers in fresher orchard fruits, some dried-out dates, more dark spice, and a touch of dry vanilla tobacco. The end is a distillation of the sugars from the tropical fruits with a line of spicy malts tying it all together.
Bottom Line:
This is a fruit bomb from top to bottom. If that’s your jam, grab a bottle. If not, you can probably skip this one.
Port Charlotte Heavily Peated 10-Year-Old Single Malt Scotch
Bruichladdich really has fun with peated whisky. This expression keeps the peat phenols high, but not “out of this world” high. The casking is a mix of first and second-fill bourbon barrels and second-fill French wine barrels. That utilization of second-fill oak means there’s a very light touch of wood on this peated whisky.
Tasting Notes:
Imagine a dark chocolate orange drizzled in salted caramel and served on a wet leaf of seaweed and you’ll be on the right track for the nose. The smoke kicks in on the palate with a vibe that feels like those wet seaweed leaves thrown on a smoldering pile of pine to create a massive billow of smoke everywhere, as hints of buttery white wine and strawberry jam-covered scones linger in the background. The finish leans into the bready nature of the scones with a dry straw edge that is followed by a mouthful of the seaweed heavy grey smoke.
Bottom Line:
This is a peaty masterclass on the tongue. There’s a lot going on and it’s divisive yet, I think, enticing. The dark fruit jams, seaweed, and old smoke just work even though it sounds like they shouldn’t. Still, this is for a slightly more advanced palate that’s been exposed to some serious peat already.
This Viking whisky from high up in the Orkneys takes barreling one step further. Their 18-year expression is matured in casks made from American and European oak specifically for Highland. Those bespoke vessels are sent to Jerez, Spain to age sherry for three years. The same barrels are then sent back to Orkney to age this whisky for 18 years.
Tasting Notes:
This really feels like a classic scotch at every step. You’re greeted with notes of marzipan, dark berries, honey, and light lines of smoke on the nose. Those notes hold on as buttery toffee arrives with a dark chocolate counterpoint, leading towards ripe red cherries and floral honey. The end embraces distant billows of sweet smoke with a dry and earthy undertow on the slow, sweet, and berry-filled fade.
Bottom Line:
Highland 18 is one of those subtle masterpieces that might just hook you in for life. The peat is there but it’s so subtly layered in with more earthiness than anything else. Pour this over a single rock and you’ll be all set.
This is the most recognizable Lagavulin out there. The malts are smoked just down the road from the distillery at Port Ellen and the juice is crafted expertly by the sea at the famed and beloved Lagavulin Distillery. Finally, the whisky spends 16 long years mellowing in old American and Spanish oak before being blended and proofed with spring water from a creek just outside the distillery walls.
Tasting Notes:
Imagine a beach fire that’s using dried seaweed as fuel next to mugs of honeyed black tea and a clump of wet moss on the nose. The taste of this dram meanders through dried pipe tobacco smoke laced with hints of vanilla and tart apple while notes of briny caramel lead towards an oyster shell minerality. The finish is pure silk as the seaweed grows wetter and the smoke sweetens towards that caramel, vanilla, and apple.
Bottom Line:
This is the good stuff, folks. This is also a great gateway peaty that’s subtle and deep enough to really capture your attention without blowing out your palate on heavy and funky peatiness. That’s not to say this isn’t funky — it is. It’s more that it’s so much more than just its peated foundations.
Give it a shot, you might be pleasantly surprised by the depth of this one.
This Highland whisky is a supple stop between the brand’s entry-level 12-year and their bolder 18-year. In this case, the single malt spends 14 years mellowing in ex-bourbon before it’s transferred to French Limousin casks for a final touch of maturation.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a nice mix of fresh apple fritters with yeasty cinnamon rolls with a vanilla frosting trying them together as a quiet note of winter spice and old cedar planks mingle on the nose. The palate leans into the apple with a spiced apple cider with plenty of anise, clove, and cinnamon that’s countered by a svelte nougat, a touch of leather, and more of that old wood. The end is part of apple pie and part creamy nougat with a tiny whisper of fireplace smoke on the very end.
Bottom Line:
This is one of those whiskies where you automatically say, “well, that’s nice!” There’s a bit of a bourbon vibe with all that stewed and spicy apple and vanilla, making this a good bridge between the two styles.
Glen Scotia Victoriana Cask Strength Single Malt Scotch
This Campbelltown whisky is a rarity, like most whiskies from the tiny region. This whisky spends a final 12 months maturing in 30 percent Pedro Ximenez sherry butts and 70 percent heavily charred American oak before bottling truly as-is — no proofing, no filtering, no coloring.
Tasting Notes:
The nose on this is thick with a lot of savory fruit — figs, summer squash — next to sweet oranges, overripe pineapple, and robust but fresh florals. On the palate, that floral nature takes in a nasturtium vibe with a layer of spice next to a thin line of saltwater taffy wax paper wrappers, rum-soaked cinnamon sticks, and a thin layer of creamy vanilla. The end has a vibe that’s kind of like malt-soaked tropical fruit next to spicy vanilla pudding with a whisper of singed apple bark lurking in the background.
Bottom Line:
This is just interesting. It’s fruity but so boldly so that it’s also intriguing. Though, I do recommend pouring this one over a single rock to calm down those ABVs a tad.
“The aroma of something powerful and fiery awaiting you. Thick, heavy woodsmoke. Rich, earthy peat. Extremes of spice and sweetness. Fresh lemon, zesty ginger, rich plum jam. An explosion of breathtaking peppery, peaty heat, soothed by honeyed sweetness before the smoke comes to the fore again. Exotic spices and a curious citrus tang of mandarin, both lulling you into a false sense of calm as the peat roars back to hit your senses again.”
Bottom Line:
This sounds “intense, brah!” For me, this feels like something I’d try a dram of at a trade show — there are so many of these types of bottles out there — and then… often forget it exists.
This new release from the much-lauded Great Drams — an independent bottler in the UK — is another winner. The Islay whisky in this case was aged in ex-bourbon casks before making its way to the Great Drams blendery where it was bottled as-is.
“Beautifully balanced, classic Islay peated whisky notes as well as lovely soothing vanilla and citrus fruit notes along with cinnamon and warming spice notes too.”
Bottom Line:
Great Dram releases tend to be some of the best independent bottles on the market. I can’t imagine this doesn’t live up to the brand’s great reputation. Though, you’ll need to act quickly as there are only 331 bottles of this one.
This expression from Ardbeg also happens to be their oldest expression (on their current lineup). The whisky is the epitome of peat on Islay. What makes this expression so special and extremely rare is that it was distilled and casked when Ardbeg was on its knees as a company, in the early 1990s. They simply weren’t making that much whisky back then and there’s hardly any of it left. That makes this a one-and-gone whisky with only 278 bottles, 90 of which were sent to the U.S.
Tasting Notes:
Heavy cream, smoked toffee, lemon pith, and ashes from last night’s campfire open this one up on the nose before veering toward soft sea-filled air, a touch of muddy bog, and old shovel handles from a well-worked farm. On the palate, there’s this deep sense of potting soil that’s still in the plastic from the garden shop next to uncooked smoked bacon rashers with plenty of black pepper and a slightly sour edge leading back to that heavy cream and smoked toffee by the mid-palate. Finally, hefty/spicy packed tobacco chewiness brings about a full-on head buzz — it’s a wild sensation.
Bottom Line:
I had this again recently at a tasting I was hosting and it was just phenomenal. While the Johnny Green might be the most accessible, this is probably the best overall, peated or not, on this list in my estimation.
Benriach The Twenty Five Four Cask Matured Single Malt Scotch
This whisky is a masterclass in maturation and blending by Dr. Rachel Barrie. The whisky spends 25 long years in sherry, bourbon, virgin oak, and Madeira casks before Dr. Barrie finds just the right ones to make this superior blend of single malt whisky.
Tasting Notes:
This feels fresh on the nose with caramelized apple mingling with leathery smoked apricots, espresso macchiatos, and brandied cherries dipped into very dark chocolate. Saffron-stewed pears lead the way on the palate as woody winter spices mix with burnt orange peels, a hint of oily vanilla, and a silky layer of smoked salted toffee with smoky almonds. The thin whisper of smoke leans sweet as the leather apricot and brandied cherries dominate the finish with a sweet and subtle dark fruitiness with a thin line of cherrywood smoke and a creamy hint of something medicinal.
Bottom Line:
This is hard to beat. Where the Ardbeg 25 brings the funkiness, this is all nostalgia and puppies. Moreover, don’t be afraid of the “peated” aspects of this. It’s almost exclusively tied to the sweet and lush dark fruit.
This Speyside distillery is for the whisky nerds out there. This particular release just dropped last summer with only 1,000 total. The whisky in those bottles was produced in 1981 and then spent four decades chilling out in old Oloroso sherry casks before going into the bottle as-is.
“Our first Benromach 40 Years Old displays rich ginger and stewed fruit aromas, Sevilla orange, red apple, and demerara sugar flavours before finishing with citrus zest and a subtle hint of charred oak.”
Bottom Line:
It’s not every day that you get to drink a whisky this old. If you’re lucky enough to come across this one (likely at a high-end whisk(e)y bar), pay for a pour. There’s no way it won’t be worth it.
Saturday Night Live‘s forays into the sports world for sketches can be hit or miss, but when Kenan Thompson is involved, there is usually a good chance it’s going to be a hit, best evidenced by him making a beloved recurring Weekend Update character out of LaVar Ball.
Thompson has also played Charles Barkley, but on this weekend’s episode he debuted a new former player turned sports media personality, as he took on the role of Kendrick Perkins opposite Chris Redd’s Stephen A. Smith in a First Take spoof that is honestly incredible work from all parties. Kenan nails Perk’s mannerisms and frequent use of “with all due respect” and “carry the hell on,” while Redd gradually warms up into a pitch perfect Stephen A. rant about going on a 10 city listening tour of America in the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile to determine if a hot dog is a sandwich — which he determines it is “for now and forever, amen.”
Chloe Fineman’s Molly Qerim captures the exasperation of dealing with these two perfectly, joking that they need to calm down because their audience of “unemployed dads” is still waking up, while Natasha Lyonne plays a wonderfully out of place Michael Rapaport, yelling about da friggin’ Knicks. Still, Redd’s Stephen A. and Thompson’s Big Perk are the stars here and I’m not kidding when I say I would watch a full First Take episode with these two filling in in character, because they really are incredibly on point.
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Linzy
yes, I ship it (@ohmyfandoms31) 
