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We Put A Whole Fleet Of Heaven Hill Whiskeys To A Blind Taste Test

Heaven Hill is one of the most iconic distilleries in America. Its Bardstown, Kentucky campus produces some true classics: Evan Williams, Elijah Craig, Old Fitzgerald, and Parker’s Heritage only scratch the surface. As with all major distilleries, though, not all of their whiskeys are of the same caliber and not all of them are going to be for everyone. Palates ebb and flow just like cultural tastes (and everyone has different standards — both financially and taste-wise.

To help sort through the brands and whiskeys from Heaven Hill, I’m pulling every single Heaven Hill bottle off my shelf and blindly tasting them. Then I’m going to rank them according to which ones I liked the most. I could ask the silly question, “Will the big names get overshadowed by the everyday pours?” But I mean… come on. Sure, anything can happen but the good stuff is the good stuff for a reason, folks.

Instead, I want to explore how similar it all really is and where the differences actually are between these bourbons, ryes, and wheat whiskeys.

Our lineup today is a massive 17 pours (judging at the SFWSC has me in game shape!):

  • Larceny Barrel Proof A121
  • Five Brothers
  • Evan Williams Small Batch 1783
  • Heaven Hill Heritage Collection 17-year
  • Old Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond 8-Year Spring 2021
  • Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A121
  • Larceny Barrel Proof B521
  • Parker’s Heritage 15th Edition Heavy Char Wheat Whiskey 11-Year
  • Evan Williams Single Barrel 2011
  • Rittenhouse Rye
  • Heaven Hill Bottled-in-Bond
  • Elijah Craig Barrel Proof C921
  • Larceny Barrel Proof B522
  • Evan Williams Green Label
  • Old Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond 17-Year Spring 2022
  • Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A122
  • Larceny Barrel Proof A122

Let’s get into it!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

The Ranking

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

17. Evan Williams Green Label — Taste 14

Heaven Hill

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $11

The Whiskey:

This is Heaven Hill’s signature bourbon mash bill with a touch of rye: 78 percent corn, 12 percent malted barley, and ten percent rye. That mash is the same for their much-beloved Elijah Craig and Henry McKenna labels. This juice is aged for four years before it’s proofed all the way down to 40 proof with soft limestone water.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

“Ah, this is some cheap shit right here.”

The nose is barely present with a note of tap water leading to the idea of caramel, cherry, and “wood.” The palate certainly has those flavor notes and adds in more refined whispers of nutmeg, dry reeds, caramels, and cherry cough drops with a vanilla echo. Ultimately, this is washed out by the tap waterproofing on the end.

Bottom Line:

I guess I’d mix this with some Coke or ginger ale to get a buzz on but not much else. In reality, just skip this and buy Evan Black or White label instead, they’re vastly superior.

16. Five Brothers Small Batch Bourbon — Taste 2

Heaven Hill

ABV: 45%

Average Price: $158

The Whiskey:

This new bourbon from Heaven Hill celebrates the five brothers who started the distillery back in 1935. The bottle was released to celebrate the new visitor’s center at Heaven Hill and is largely only available there. The juice in this bottle is a blend of five bourbons of varying ages between five and nine years old made with Heaven Hill’s bourbon mash bill of 78 percent corn, 12 percent malted barley, and ten percent rye.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

The nose on this one is sweet and thin, it takes a while to find hints of popcorn, maple, and vanilla. The palate has a pecan waffle vibe with plenty of syrup that leads to cherry candies and a thin layer of cinnamon spice and vanilla extract. There’s a dry reed feel on the end with more of that proofing water thinning things out on the finish.

Bottom Line:

This was fine. It feels like something I’d likely mix into a highball more than anything else. For the price, that makes it… sort of a catastrophe.

15. Rittenhouse Bottled-in-Bond Rye — Taste 10

Heaven Hill

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $29

The Whiskey:

This rye is very much a bourbon drinker’s rye. The mash bill is only 51 percent rye with 37 percent corn, and 12 percent malted barley. The juice then matures under the federal regulations allowing it to be “bottled-in-bond” and is barely proofed down to 100 proof with that soft Kentucky limestone water before bottling.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

There’s a note of that fake raspberry flavoring a Slushie from 7-Eleven has on the nose next to a dried herbal vibe. The palate has a little bit of toffee and squash with a hint of cinnamon and dark chocolate. The finish has a bit of winter spice, vanilla extract, and light tobacco chew.

Bottom Line:

This was a bit of a shrug. It wasn’t as washed out as the two expressions above it in this ranking but nothing really to write home about.

14. Evan Williams Single Barrel 2011 — Taste 9

Heaven Hill

ABV: 43.3%

Average Price: $29

The Whiskey:

This is Heaven Hill’s hand-selected single barrel Evan Williams expression. The juice is from a single barrel, labeled with its distillation year, proofed just above 43 proof, and bottled as is.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

Classic, classic, classic. The nose and palate both deliver on cherry, vanilla, oak, and caramel with a thinner base, but it’s not washed out. The palate does dial in those notes pretty well with nutmeg and cinnamon spice next to creamy vanilla, cherry candy, and a hint of cedar and tobacco on the back end.

Bottom Line:

This was very much, “Hey, that’s pretty good.” You could tell immediately that it was a cheaper whiskey but the flavor profile was very present and not washed out by proofing water. Overall, it felt like an easy sipper for when you really don’t want to think about what you’re drinking.

Solid value!

14. Elijah Craig Barrel Proof C921 — Taste 12

Elijah Craig Barrel Proof C921
Heaven Hill

ABV: 60.1%

Average Price: $120

The Whiskey:

This was the last Elijah Craig Barrel Proof of 2021. The whiskey is built from Heaven Hill’s iconic 78 percent bourbon mash bill. The barrels spend up to 12 years resting before they’re picked and vatted for this release.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This is kind of … sour with an old and musty oak vibe next to a little nutmeg and allspice, some cherry tobacco, and some used vanilla pods. The palate has a butterscotch sweetness that leads to a high-proof buzz accompanied by old cedar, winter spice, a hint of pepper, and more vanilla. The end is part toffee and part of that funky wood from the nose with tobacco-stained cedar boxes, vanilla cream, and holiday spices rounding out the finish.

Bottom Line:

This was “fine.” It was a little funky for me … it just didn’t track on my palate. I need to spend a little more time with this and maybe I’ll find more to it. For now, it’s just fine but kind of un-memorable, which for the price is… not wonderful.

13. Evan Williams Small Batch 1783 — Taste 3

Heaven Hill

ABV: 45%

Average Price: $16

The Whiskey:

This is Evan William’s small-batch bourbon reissue. The expression is a marriage of 200 barrels of Heaven Hill’s classic bourbon (78 percent corn, 12 percent malted barley, and ten percent rye). That juice is vatted, then proofed down to 90 proof (instead of the old 86 proof), and bottled as-is.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This is another classic with a caramel/vanilla/cherry/oak nose with a hint of leather lurking in the background. The palate has a little bit of cornbread with a melting butter vibe next to plenty of cherry and caramel candy, a touch of old leather, cedar box, and spicy tobacco. The end fades pretty quickly and is a little washed out by the proofing water but still delivers a bit of creamy honey, vanilla, nutmeg, and grilled pancake with a hint of tobacco.

Bottom Line:

It’s amazing how far some of these old favorites fall when tasted against some true bangers. That said, this was fine. I’d use it for a cocktail in a heartbeat.

12. Larceny Barrel Proof B521 — Taste 7

Heaven Hill

ABV: 60.5%

Average Price: $128

The Whiskey:

This spring small batch of wheated bourbon is derived from barrels between six and eight years old. The juice then goes right into the bottle with no cutting or filtering, allowing the masterful craft to shine through in every sip.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

There’s a feeling of cinnamon sticks dipped into woody maple syrup with hints of dried florals, old apples, worn leathers, and maybe a little vanilla cupcake on the nose. The palate is all about the Christmas cake — nuts, candied and dried fruit, dark spices, brown sugar — that’s countered by brandy butter and walnut shells. The end has a touch of high-proof warmth next to vanilla tobacco and cedar.

Bottom Line:

This was about halfway through the tasting and I was stretching to find unique notes. This was bold and perfectly fine but not as exciting as it could be. It feels like a great cocktail whiskey though. (Only you know whether or not $128/ bottle is too much for cocktail whiskey.)

10. Larceny Barrel Proof A121 — Taste 1

Heaven Hill

ABV: 57.4%

Average Price: $192

The Whiskey:

The wheated juice for this blend spends six to eight years maturing in Heaven Hill’s vast warehouses. It’s then small-batch blended and bottled with zero fussing at barrel proof three times a year with a little variation each time.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

There’s a soft caramel candy on the nose with a hint of pumpkin pie, holiday spices, and sweet vanilla cream. The palate is very classic with plenty of vanilla, woody spice, a little maple syrup, and a good rush of cherry candy near the end. The finish marries that cherry to a spicy Red Hot vibe and a bit of warm tobacco chewiness.

Bottom Line:

This was a good place to start. I really like this. The ABVs don’t overpower anything and it’s pleasant. Still, it’s just sort of classic bourbon and not much else. And two bills is pretty pricey for “classic bourbon.”

9. Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A121 — Taste 6

Heaven Hill

ABV: 61.8%

Average Price: $148

The Whiskey:

The whiskey in this bottle is generally at least 12 years old and bottled with no cutting down to proof or filtration whatsoever. This expression is all about finding the best barrels in the Heaven Hill warehouses and letting that whiskey shine on its own.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This opens with a mix of dark berries — brambles, soil, and all — next to sticky toffee pudding spices and fruitiness with a hint of vanilla ice cream and old leathery tobacco pouches. The taste is very creamy with hints of sweet yet tart red berries next to a dusting of nutmeg and allspice leading to cherry tobacco on the mid-palate. The end leans into the high-proof, buzzing mouthfeel with sweet cherry/raspberry/blackberry and woody tobacco finish.

Bottom Line:

“Nice and soft” were my main notes on this one. This feels like a nice summer sipper thanks to the berry vibe. It’s also pretty middle of the road for this flight of whiskeys.

8. Larceny Barrel Proof B522 — Taste 13

Larceny Barrel Proof B522
Heaven Hill

ABV: 61.9%

Average Price: $59 (MSRP)

The Whiskey:

The second batch of Larceny Barrel Proof of 2022 is batched from barrels of Heaven Hill’s iconic wheated bourbon (68 percent corn, 20 percent wheat, and 12 percent malted barley). Those barrels are chosen for their specific flavor profile and blended as-is and bottled at barrel proof.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

At first whiff, this was very “classic” and then these subtle hints of red berries, soft caramel candies, old yet soft leather, raw pancake batter, and cedar sneaked in. The palate immediately coats your mouth with a warm buzz that leads to sweetgrass, minced meat pies, salted caramel, and Black Forest Cake with more vanilla than chocolate. There’s a soft landing that’d full of cherry jam and vanilla pudding with a hint of spicy tobacco and old oak staves.

Bottom Line:

This tasting has really been a roller coaster. This was stuck between two glasses on either side of it that were drastically different. That likely helped it shine a bit brighter, but I’d argue this is a pretty solid dram and the start of where things get interesting on this list. A great value pick!

7. Larceny Barrel Proof A122 — Taste 17

Larceny Barrel Proof A122
Heaven Hill

ABV: 62.2%

Average Price: $150

The Whiskey:

The juice in the barrel is made from Heaven Hill’s classic wheated mash bill. The whiskey in the bottle is a blend of six to eight-year-old barrels that are vatted and bottled at cask strength as-is. It’s as easy as that, folks.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This is pretty interesting with a nose full of old cedar beams and river rock with a hint of salt, waffles smothered in brown butter and maple syrup, a little orange peel, and fresh cinnamon doughnuts. The palate delivers on those notes and adds in almonds and walnuts with dried fruits, winter spices, and savory figs. The mid-palate leans into the leathery dried dark fruits as dry sweetgrass and dark chocolate-covered hazelnuts mix with vanilla pipe tobacco and cedar planks. The finish has a light warmth that creates a mouth buzz with silky yet dry sweetgrass and nuttiness.

Bottom Line:

This is pretty damn good. The heat at the end washes it out a little but the flavor notes do hold on. In the end, I really want to make a Manhattan with this at Christmas.

6. Heaven Hill 7-Year Bottled-in-Bond — Taste 11

Heaven Hill

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $40

The Whiskey:

This expression has been a touchstone bottled-in-bond since 1939 and remains a go-to for many bourbon lovers. The juice is the classic Heaven Hill bourbon mash bill that’s left to age for an extra three years compared to Evan Williams Bottled-in-Bond.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

The nose draws you in with this rich and creamy vanilla ice cream (you know the kind that’s likely labeled “Tahitian”) that’s drizzled with a buttery and salty caramel sauce next to soft leather and dried apple blossoms with a hint of old cedar bark braids. A floral honey vibe melds with Graham Crackers on the palate as creamy toffee covered in crushed almonds mingles with vanilla-laced pipe tobacco and old leather-bound books. There’s a bit of freshly ground nutmeg near the end that leads to a light cherry tobacco note with whispers of old cellar beams and winter spices on the finish.

Bottom Line:

This was really f*cking good. If I had been guessing these, I likely would have pegged this as an Old Fitz … and been amazed to find out that it wasn’t. This is just solid all around and something I really need more of in my life. A truly amazing value bottle of bourbon.

5. Old Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond 8-Year Spring 2021 — Taste 5

Heaven Hill

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $640

The Whiskey:

This year’s spring release is a marriage of eight-year-old whiskeys produced in the spring of 2013. That distilled juice rested in barrels spread throughout three warehouses on several different floors. In spring of this year, those barrels were vatted and whiskey was proofed down to 100 (per bottled-in-bond law). Then the whiskey was filled into Old Fitzgerald’s signature decanters and sent out into the world.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

Bottom Line:

This was one of my favorite pours of 2021 yet here it is at fifth! Palates evolve as more whiskey hit the ol’ tongue and new bottles are released that take you in new directions.

All of that said, this is pretty goddamn stellar. It’s pretty much a perfect sipping whiskey.

4. Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A122 — Taste 16

Elijah Craig Barrel Proof A122
Heaven Hill

ABV: 60.4%

Average Price: $130

The Whiskey:

This year’s first drop is a 12-year-old whiskey made from Heaven Hill’s classic bourbon mash of 78 percent corn, 12 percent malted barley, and a mere ten percent rye. Those barrels are masterfully blended into this Barrel Proof expression with no cutting or fussing. This is as-is bourbon from the barrel.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This is a “classic” in the best possible way. The nose is this dailed in a mix of sourdough cinnamon rolls drizzled with vanilla sugar sauce and salty caramel next to floral honey, vanilla candle wax, and a hint of old aftershave straight off the drug store shelf. The taste has a sugar pie note with vanilla and cinnamon sauce over the top, hints of old leather, and a braid of dried sweetgrass coiled into an old cedar box. There’s creamy eggnog with plenty of nutmeg near the end as a hint of Hostess Apple Pie comes into play with that sweetgrass/cedar vibe on the very end.

Bottom Line:

More of this, please. This was a delight, and probably one of the best Elijah Craig Barrel Proofs to date.

3. Heaven Hill Heritage Collection 17-Year-Old Barrel Proof Bourbon, First Edition — Taste 4

Heaven Hill Heritage Collection Bourbon Whiskey
Heaven Hill

ABV: 59.1%

Average Price: $3,200

The Whiskey:

The base of the spirit is Heaven Hill’s classic bourbon 78 percent corn mash bill. This particular whiskey is built from several barrels from four warehouse campuses in the Bardstown area. In this case, the whiskey is made from 28 percent 20-year-old barrels, 44 percent 19-year-old barrels, and 28 percent 17-year-old barrels. Once those barrels are vatted, the bourbon goes into the bottle as-is, without any cutting or fussing.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This opens with a matrix of maple syrup pecans touched with flakes of salt next to spicy cherry tobacco jammed into an old cedar box that’s got a little cobweb vibe next to soft nutmeg, dried roses pressed in an old bible, and a creamy but almost burnt buttery toffee. The palate has a high-proof mouthfeel with a buzzing layer coating your mouth but it’s not hot, it’s more Christmas cake-flavored chewing tobacco with notes of cherry cobbler dancing with creamy eggnog and velvety-soft suede that’s imbued with decades of coffee and cigars next to old humidors. The finish mingles cherry tobacco with sticky toffee pudding with pure silk.

Bottom Line:

This was only taste number four and I wanted to pack it in. This was in a different dimension than numbers 17 through four on this ranking. I didn’t think anything could beat this… Yet.

2. Old Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond 17-Year Spring 2022 — Taste 15

Old Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond 17
Heaven Hill

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $1,275

The Whiskey:

This wheated bourbon whiskey — 68 percent corn, 20 percent wheat, and 12 percent malted barley — was distilled and laid down in barrels back in 2004. The barrels were vatted after 17 years and proofed down to the bottled-in-bond standard of 100 proof and then bottled in the iconic Old Fitz decanter for a Spring 2022 release.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

You’re greeted with a fresh batch of yeasty doughnuts stuffed with a spicy blackberry filling next to these lovely layers of dried roses in old books, burnt orange oils, rich and oily vanilla pods, freshly chopped cedar kindling, and a stick of rock candy. The palate leans into charred cherrywood, lush vanilla creaminess, and a whole sticky toffee pudding with black-tea-soaked dates and heaping spoons of cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove. The mid-palate veers into cherry lozenges with a hint of cinnamon next to supple pipe tobacco, a hint of old boot leather, and a very old cedar cigar box.

Bottom Line:

I was still two tastes from the end but nearly walked away right here. This was such a high point that I wanted to end on it. This is a perfect bourbon but the next entry had a tiny bit more going on that grabbed my attention today.

1. Parker’s Heritage 15th Edition Heavy Char Wheat Whiskey 11-Year — Taste 8

Heaven Hill

ABV: 62%

Average Price: $1,154

The Whiskey:

This year’s release is a wheat whiskey that’s small-batched from 75 barrels with a heavy char. The juice in those barrels is a mash of 51 percent wheat, 37 percent corn, and 12 percent barley. The whiskey was matured on the sixth floor of Rickhouse Y for eleven long years before batching and bottling as is.

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

Blind Tasting Notes:

This has a note of butter crisped pancake edge to the nose that’s brilliant. That nose is supported by notes of fresh woodruff, fresh peanut brittle dusted with nutmeg and clove, creamed honey, powdered ginger, and vanilla-soaked charred oak staves. The palate picks up on a whisper of red saffron and pear that leads to rum-soaked cherries, dry tobacco leaves, old grilled cedar planks, and a drop of espresso oil with a dark chocolate underbelly. That dark chocolate vibes with the dry tobacco and dark and rummy cherries for a finish that luxuriates in a silken mouthfeel, an echo more of that fresh forest woodruff, and a soft Kentucky hug of warmth.

Bottom Line:

The top three were all very close but this was the clear winner — it wasn’t a three-way tie at all. I wasn’t 100 percent sold on this the first time I had it. This time around it was phenomenal. I wish I had more than a boot flask full as a tester.

Final Thoughts

Heaven Hill Blind
Zach Johnston

This broke my brain a little bit, especially at the end of a long week. There were just so many similar and straight-up identical flavor notes that it became a pain in the ass to find things that differentiated a lot of these.

Still, there’s only one trash bottle on this list and it was last by a country mile. 16 through nine were all perfectly fine. Eight, seven, and six were where things started to get interesting and fun. Then five through three really upped the ante. Then the second and first ranked whiskeys were just off the charts. The problem was that I didn’t get to drink them in that order. This blind test featured huge valleys right next to huge peaks and then back down again and then up and down and … you get it.

Honestly, I think I need a drink to get over this mind-bender. Thankfully, I now know which Heaven Hill bottle to reach for first.

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Alex Trebek’s Name (And Personal Library) Are Going To A Great Cause: A New Los Angeles Homeless Shelter

Starting next week, a Los Angeles homeless shelter named after iconic Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek will open the doors to its 107-bed facility. The facility will also feature a library housing the late host‘s personal books and furniture, as well as providing services and outreach as part of a path to permanent housing. The Trebek Center held a ribbon-cutting ceremony on Thursday, which was attended by Trebek’s wife.

Via Los Angeles Daily News:

“We all know that homelessness is complicated,” said Jean Trebek, widow of Alex Trebek, who died in 2020 from pancreatic cancer. “There is no single pathway to the streets,” she said. “There’s no single intervention that ends homelessness. But there is a single remedy and it’s called love. Supporting another is loving another and the transformational power of support will surely be known at this site.”

Also in attendance was Los Angeles City Councilmember John Lee, who thanked local residents for making the “difficult decision” to allow The Trebek Center to take over the site of a popular skating rink. Lee told the crowd that the shelter will take “the necessary footsteps to combat what is happening on our city streets.”

Donating his name and library to a homeless shelter is another reason why it’s been so tough for the show to replace him. The man left massive shoes to fill in a lot of ways, making it a monumental task to find someone who brings the same combination of warmth, charm, and gravitas to the Jeopardy! podium. (Outside of a tiny disaster, the show has relied on a series of rotating guest hosts while prominently leaning on Ken Jennings and Mayim Bialik, both of whom remain top contenders to get the gig at some point.) A final decision still hasn’t been made because, again, Trebek was just that good. You really can’t rush into this one.

When you’re replacing one of the greats, you gotta take your time.

(Via Los Angeles Daily News)

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Jen Psaki Held More Press Briefings In 15 Months Than All Of Trump’s Press Secretaries Combined

It’s not uncommon for presidents to churn through multiple press secretaries during their administration. Barack Obama had three between 2009 and 2017, for instance, while George W. Bush had five during his two terms. Donald Trump employed four different secretaries (Sean Spicer, Sarah Sanders, Stephanie Grisham, and Kayleigh McEnany, who never told a lie — which was, in fact, a lie) in his four years in the White House, but unlike his predecessors and his successor, they rarely did their job.

At one point, the Trump administration went an unprecedented 300-plus days without a formal briefing. To put that into perspective, Jen Psaki, who left her post as Joe Biden’s press secretary on Friday, “held more formal press briefings in the past 15 months than former President Trump’s press secretaries held in four years,” according to Insider:

Martha Joynt Kumar, director of the White House Transition Project, has kept meticulous records of the press briefings. Psaki has held 224 briefings as of Friday compared to the 205 formal briefings held by Trump’s press secretaries, according to Kumar’s tally.

“We were following an administration that did not do daily press briefings. It should be that this is a forum for people to ask difficult questions Monday through Friday,” Psaki said this week. (The current administration isn’t as forthcoming as it seems, though: Biden only gave 22 interviews during his first year in office, compared to 92 for Trump and 150 for Obama in their first 365 days.) Psaki, who will be replaced by Karine Jean-Pierre, took a job with MSNBC, where she’ll do the yelling instead of being yelled at.

(Via Insider)

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Lizzo Wishes Robert Pattinson ‘Happy Birthday’ With An Unbelievable Old Photo Of Them Together

Earlier this month, Beyoncé wished Lizzo a happy birthday with a baby photo that left Lizzo flabbergasted. “Beyoncé?! Where u get this pic?? I ain’t seen this since I was born,” the “Truth Hurts” singer said on Twitter. Well, it seems as though now, Lizzo is paying the deed forward with her birthday wish to Robert Pattinson.

Today is the 36th birthday of the star of The Batman and Lizzo dug up a photo of the pair that looks like a very young Lizzo walked up to a Twilight-era Pattinson at a bar and very kindly asked him if she could snap a pic with him. I mean, look at this shot:

Lizzo looks so comfortable in the moment, not starstruck by the Brit in the least bit. Pattinson meanwhile, looks like he showed up at the bar right after tailgating a Florida Georgia Line concert. Here’s hoping this trend of celebrity photo archivists continues, because this is a solid gold moment.

In the meantime, Lizzo has been polishing off a $55,000 dollar flute that she played at the Met Gala, and Pattinson has just signed on to play Batman again in the sequel to The Batman.

Lizzo is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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The Suns Want To Create Connection With Their New Collaboration Strategy

When is a t-shirt not just a t-shirt? Ask Dean Story, the Phoenix Suns’ Chief Marketing and Communications Officer, and he’ll tell you it’s when a shirt is in service to both the fans who decide to purchase it and the athletes out on the court.

Stoyer had a 17-year career with Nike and a stint with Under Armour before taking the job in Phoenix ahead of the 2019-20 season. He came on board shortly after general manager James Jones saw the interim tag removed from his title and head coach Monty Williams was hired, the trifecta representing something of a clean slate for a franchise that needed something new.

“The power of a t-shirt goes far beyond the team shop,” Stoyer says on a video call with Dime while the desert sun floods his office.

He remembers one of the last interviews he had with Jones before being brought on board, one in which he asked what it was he and Williams wanted from Stoyer and his team It came down to energy — to give players the support of the fanbase, and to make sure they felt an undercurrent of energy, respect, and love from the people cheering them on.

“They were developing the roster, and the team that is giving our fans the pride that they have today, and my job was to make sure they have many different ways to express that pride and carry that with them whether they’re from Phoenix or New York,” Stoyer says.

That integrated approach was also the tack Stoyer and his team, including Manager of Influencer Strategy and Merchandise Marketing Gerry Mildenberger, would take when developing some of the Suns’ biggest merchandise collaborations yet.

“Going back to very traditional merchandising models of having your good, better, best options, and how you segment those percentage wise, we started at…” Stoyer pauses and laughs. “We had a lot of ‘good,’ we didn’t have much better, we definitely didn’t have any best.”

“Authenticity is the name of the game,” Mildenberger stresses. “It’s not only for our fans, the players, but goes back to the culture. There’s a huge streetwear following here in Phoenix that’s slept on.”

The first partnership to develop found its roots on the streetwear side, and within somewhat serendipitous timing. Designer Warren Lotas has made inroads around the NBA with its teams and players. The Pistons, Bucks, and Jazz have partnered with the designer for custom team shirts, and players like Suns star Devin Booker have worn pieces in pre-game tunnels.

“We reached out to Warren and his team about the same time they were trying to reach us,” Stoyer recalls. “It was to reach a different audience but really to tap into a different energy.”

Lotas’s signature motif of skeletons and psychedelic colorways paired well with the Suns “Valley” launch that made its debut in the 2020-21 season with its gradient desert hues. The collection, called “Always Heat in The Valley,” has since sold out but launched on its heels another collaboration that put the aesthetic elements of the franchise front and center with hip-hop and lifestyle brand LRG.

“They saw what we were doing,” Stoyer says. “If we’re doing things right, that word of mouth and that credibility is very important. They were looking for a partner to help lift their brand back onto center stage.”

The LRG collection features tank tops, hoodies, and t-shirts that pay homage to the classic Suns design elements that proliferated in Chales Barkley’s era.

Stoyer notes that while Phoenix does have a budding culture with its growing transplant population relocating from larger American cities, the city doesn’t share some of the more storied roots that other markets boast, like Detroit or Atlanta with their history in music. “So, we’ve had to seek out the partnerships that either have connections to fandom, or to our team,” he says.

One of the behemoth brands synonymous with fandom in basketball is designer Jeff Hamilton’s signature varsity jackets. Going all the way back to custom jackets made for Michael Jordan and Tim Duncan, and more recently with Drake enlisting Hamilton’s help in creating his OVO line of Raptors jackets, it was a dream collaboration for Stoyer, Mildenberger, and the team.

jeff hamilton suns jacket
Phoenix Suns

Like the other partnerships, working with Hamilton came about holistically. The designer had a previous relationship with Chris Paul and had been to a Suns playoff game last season, which sparked Hamilton’s interest in doing something with the team.

Stoyer recalls with a self-depreciating chuckle that he ran late to the first meeting he had with Hamilton, expecting the Zoom call to be with a group in the designer’s studio. Instead, there was one person waiting for him when he logged on five minutes later.

“It was shocking and delightful at the same time that we were able to have a direct conversation with Jeff, and those conversations have continued through the recent design work, and design work we’re looking at ahead of this season and into next year,” Stoyer smiles, “He’s very passionate about it and has been great to work with.”

For each partnership, the onus has been on breaking past the traditional jersey and warm-up shirt of a fan’s takeaway merch and figuring out what will make it into someone’s regular wardrobe rotation. The team looks for “energy moments” to time its drops. Some are obvious, like the postseason, and some cater to the rhythm of the team and the city. The end goal is tapping into a market of fans who see themselves in the broader lifestyle elements of basketball, rabid on gamedays but with a finger on the wider pulse of the league year-round. The tiered offerings Stoyer and his team have created allow access to that at all different price points.

“Basketball has its culture around it, it’s so important to be able to serve different demographics that come in but also realize there’s a niche audience that isn’t getting served — and that was people fully involved in the lifestyle,” Mildenberger says, adding with a grin, “I love it when you see a family walk in and they each walk out with someone unique to them.”

The biggest barometer Stoyer and Mildenberger have are also the most discerning: the players. Both joke that every collaboration has passed its own unique stress test with the team, but that the biggest signal of acceptance (and likely sigh of relief) comes when Suns players incorporate them into their pre-game tunnel fits.

“They’ve only got 82 walk-in fits, outside of playoffs, if we’re going to be one of them I’ll take it,” Mildenberger chuckles.

A pilot project called Valley Threads took that concept of collaboration with the team one step further. For its inaugural drop, Cam Payne sat with the design team to create a limited edition hoodie from start to finish with elements meant to tell his story. Mildenberger says that Payne “wears that thing all the time,” but that the biggest moment of impact was the day it was released. “We made sure to get one to all the players,” Mildenberger recalls. “They flew out on the next road trip and all of them came on the plane wearing the hoodie.”

The continuation of that pilot is something the team is working on with an eye to next season, as well as a throwback to Barkley’s iconic 1992-93 season, which celebrates its 30th anniversary next year.

“There’s nostalgia when you think of the players, but going back to the looks. We weren’t going to mess with that. We have some surprises coming,” Stoyer confirms.

“There’s so much creativity on our roster right now,” Mildenberger says, “We see that in their high opinions of what we bring into the store, in a good way. So it’s like how do we channel this creativity into another outlet that’s authentic for them, and really give our fans another avenue to really get a peak into our players’ lives.”

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The Black Keys Bring Their ‘Wild Child’ Energy To ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

The Black Keys stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! this past week to deliver a captivating performance of “Wild Child.” The track comes from their latest album Dropout Boogie, released on Friday (May 13). The college-dropouts-turned-successful-musicians leaned fully into the theme of the album by displaying rows of lockers on the backdrop and dressing as if they were too cool for school.

Dropout Boogie is the 11th album of The Black Keys’ discography, led by singles “Wild Child” and “It Ain’t Over.” Coincidentally, Dropout Boogie arrived almost exactly one year to do the day of the group’s 2021 LP Delta Kream, released on May 14. The Black Keys are gearing up for their Dropout Boogie tour along with Band of Horses for all dates, and Ceramic Animal, Early James, and The Velveteers on select dates. The tour kicks off on July 9 in Las Vegas, Nevada continuing all the way through the middle of October with a grand finale in Dallas, Texas on October 18. Black Keys fans will also be happy to know that El Camino is set to get a ten-year anniversary deluxe edition.

Check out the “Wild Child” performance above.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Five Sneakers To Get You Started In The World Of Sneaker Investment

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Drake’s OVO Fest Is Returning In 2022

In addition to anointing UK rapper Dave as one of the most unique artists in the business today, Drake also had another surprise for fans at Dave’s tour stop in Toronto last night. After performing “Wanna Know” and “Knife Talk” alongside his host (or guest, since Drake owns the venue, History), Drake told the diehards in attendance that he’s also planning on bringing back his own event, OVO Fest, sometime this year. “I love you with all of my heart,” he said. “They let the city back open so I will see you at OVO Fest soon.”

Drake’s festival would have had its 10th iteration in 2020, but COVID-19 and the resulting safety restrictions forced him to forego plans to celebrate the 10th anniversary at the event itself. Unfortunately, as a side effect of the slowed income from that year, there was no 2021 edition, either. The last OVO Fest took place in 2019 with guests like millennial favorites B2K, Chingy, and Lloyd. Intriguingly enough, Drake’s festival isn’t the only one coming back to Toronto this year; in April, Rolling Loud announced its own event in The Six featuring none other than Dave as a headliner alongside Future and international superstar Wizkid.

Drake didn’t offer any more details, but you can bet when he does, there will be a frenzy to get tickets to his hometown show — no matter how much they cost.

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American Viewers Have Watched Over 4 Trillion Minutes Of Television In The Last 8 Months Alone

A new Nielsen report is highlighting the “staggering” amount of television that Americans have watched over the past few months. Despite its current troubles, Netflix was the undisputed champ, besting every single broadcast network thanks to streaming series like Ozark, Squid Game, and The Witcher. On the network side, the winner was also predictable: CBS, although the total there was just barely half of the viewing minutes pulled in by Netflix. (Netflix had 1.33 trillion — yes, trillion — to CBS’ 752.8 billion.)

More importantly, the Nielsen report reveals a massive amount of TV watching by American audiences, and that’s without factoring in HBO Max, or other cable channels, or other broadcast networks outside of the biggies, which were all left out of the calculations. Via The Hollywood Reporter:

Nielsen data showing total minutes viewed for the season so far (Sept. 20, 2021-May 8, 2022) show that Americans spend a staggering amount of time in front of screens. The big four broadcasters and the five streamers the measurement company publicly tracks (Apple TV+, Disney+, Hulu, Netflix and Prime Video) accounted for more than 4 trillion minutes of viewing time — or 203 hours for all 332 million people in the United States. That figure doesn’t include other streaming services, broadcast networks The CW, Univision, Telemundo and PBS or any of the dozens of cable channels.

Of course, it’s tempting to draw the conclusion that America is still in a pandemic, but that’s not exactly the strongest argument. While the Omicron variant did send cases through the roof over the holidays, the country has essentially been open for a while now, and even more so after the introduction of COVID vaccines. That said, the pandemic did delay many seasons, so when new episodes started coming in, Americans gobbled them up after months of watching reruns. The point is people are watching insane amounts of TV. Four trillion minutes. To put that in perspective, it is… so many minutes. An unreasonable amount of minutes, probably.

Sorry. Our brains hurt just thinking about it.

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

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Arcade Fire Sets ‘The Tonight Show’ Ablaze With An ‘Age Of Anxiety II’ Performance

Arcade Fire stopped by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to perform a luminary rendition of “Age Of Anxiety II (Rabbit Hole)” off of their latest album We. Singers Win Butler and Régine Chassagne belted passionately with the backing of band members Richard Reed Parry, Tim Kingsbury, and Jeremy Gara. Strobe lights, mini stands, and a big eye taking up the background contributed to the vibrant sonics of “Age Of Anxiety II.”

Arcade Fire is currently preparing for their upcoming We tour, the eighth of their career, supporting We, their sixth studio album. The trek begins its European leg in August, joined by Feist. Arcade Fire returns to the states in October to close out, with the assistance of Beck.

Aside from all that, the band has been up to a lot lately. They helped introduce a photo of a black hole with a performance of their song that’s partially named after it, they dropped off a Harry Styles cover, they performed on Saturday Night Live, they were last-minute additions to the 2022 Coachella lineup, and Will Butler recently announced he left the band after finishing work on We last year.

Watch Arcade Fire perform “Age Of Anxiety II (Rabbit Hole)” on Fallon above.