On Wednesday, September 4, Roan posted a video to X (formerly Twitter) explaining that she “scrubbed and canceled” scalper tickets after realizing that her October 1 concert at FirstBank Amphitheater in Franklin, Tennessee had sold out suspiciously quickly.
“Scalpers and bots just bought up all the tickets, so we went through and canceled all the scalper tickets we could,” Roan said in the video. “So, from that, we’re gonna release a limited number of tickets to you because I want to make sure that tickets go to people who actually want to come and, like, are fans.”
Roan then instructed fans on how to submit a request for tickets here.
“This is the best solution that makes sense to me right now and my team, and I know it’s confusing — and it’s so annoying — but I genuinely am so pissed about the scalper situation and think that people actually deserve to get to my show. This is a larger issue. We’re dealing with it. But thank you for understanding, and I cannot wait to see people who deserve to be here. It means everything to me.”
Each week our staff of film and television experts surveys the entertainment landscape to select the ten best new/newish shows available for you to stream at home. We put a lot of thought into our selections, and our debates on what to include and what not to include can sometimes get a little heated and feelings may get hurt, but so be it, this is an important service for you, our readers. With that said, here are our selections for this week.
Tony Hale has a pretty solid track record when it comes to comedies. Buster in Arrested Development, Gary in Veep, FORKY in Toy Story 4 (do not hold Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip against him). Next up is The Decameron, which is like if The White Lotus took place during the bubonic plague pandemic (or as actress Jessica Plummer described it, “Love Island, but back in the day”). The social satire is getting rave reviews for being “the best apocalyptic ensemble comedy since Clue.” Grab your juice and start watching.
Last season on Futurama, Fry, Leela, Bender, & Co. took on an Amazon-like company formed by Mom; caught a rage virus; and got turned into toys (that was a weird one). In season 12 (which is technically the second half of season eight if you go by production order, but let’s stick with Hulu’s season designations for the sake of ease), the gang “embarks on mind-bending adventures involving birthday party games to the death, the secrets of Bender’s ancestral robot village, A.I. friends (and enemies), impossibly cute beanbags, and the true 5 million-year-old story behind the consciousness-altering substance known as coffee.” Guest stars include Danny Trejo, Cara Delevingne, and Kyle Maclachlan. (Read more about the new season here.)
A while back, I remember seeing someone online make the case for Planet of the Apes as the most consistently good movie franchise. That’s overstating things (how soon we forget Ape Lincoln?), but there are more keepers than stinkers in the series, especially among the recent films. Surprise box office hit Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes needed to justify its existence following the strong conclusion to the Caesar trilogy — and it did. The 10th overall Planet of the Apes features typically CGI work and a stirring story about determination. You won’t hate every ape you see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.
12. Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Paramount Plus)
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2023’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem made a decent amount of money at the box office and received strong reviews — but doesn’t it still feel under-appreciated? It’s a really good movie (and should have been nominated for an Oscar over Elemental)! Paramount Plus spin-off series Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is set in the same universe as Mutant Mayhem, and the animation looks just as cool as it does in the film. The voice cast of the Turtles (Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, and Brady Noon) is back, too, as well as Ayo Edebiri as April O’Neil.
Still not on the Sydney Sweeney bandwagon? You will be after watching Immaculate. The horror film stars Tank’s mom as a devout American nun who travels to a convent in Italy where things aren’t quite as they initially appear. Hate it when that happens. The wild ending, in particular, is pretty great.
Solar Opposites doesn’t get as much love and attention as Rick and Morty, another science-fiction/comedy animated series, but it should. The show goes to some truly unexpected places, including The Wall and SilverCops side-stories, and the voice cast of Dan Stevens, Thomas Middleditch, Sean Giambrone, and Mary Mack do fine work as the chaotic former residents of Planet Shlorp. I would die for the Pupa (assuming it doesn’t kill me first).
This third season of Industry, overall, convinces me that there will be a future moment when this series will move beyond scoring critical acclaim and maintaining a loyal but relatively modest audience. Years into the future, this show could catch on with a whole new audience and be streamed into oblivion in a Suits-like way. That USA Network show maintained a dedicated enough audience to last a decade, but years later, the show’s exploding popularity on Netflix led NBC to double back and find new life in the franchise. It’s very easy to imagine Industry someday harnessing broad streaming appeal in the same way. (You can read our review here.)
The world did Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga dirty. Maybe it’s not a stone-cold masterpiece like Mad Max: Fury Road, but few films are. The George Miller epic deserves better than making less money at the domestic box office than It Ends With Us. It has the best action sequence of the year, Anya Taylor-Joy rules, and Chris Hemsworth gives a genuinely Oscar-worthy performance. Also, there’s a character named Pissboy. Fire up Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga on Max and make it the hit it should have been when it was in theaters.
Scrubs, Ted Lasso, and Shrinking creator Bill Lawrence’s comedy empire expands with Bad Monkey, a good show with a fun premise: Vince Vaughn plays a former cop who is now a health inspector in the Florida Keys. “But after stumbling upon a case that begins with a human arm fished up by tourists, he realizes that if he can prove murder, he’ll be back in. He just needs to get past a trove of Floridian oddballs and one bad monkey,” according to the plot synopsis. The show is based on author Carl Hiaasen’s novel of the same name, and has fun summer binge written all over it.
There’s been two big changes to Only Murders in the Building: the season is largely set in Los Angeles instead of New York City, and Selena Gomez is now Emmy nominee Selena Gomez. But what hasn’t changed is that the Martins, Steve and Short, are as funny as ever. Outside of that trio, the season 4 cast also includes Melissa McCarthy, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Zach Galifianakis, Molly Shannon, Kumail Nanjiani, Richard Kind (!!!), Meryl Streep, Jane Lynch, Michael Cyril Creighton, and recent Oscar winner Da’Vine Joy Randolph.
Studio Ghibli’s The Boy and the Heron is about a young boy named Mahito who moves into his family’s home in the countryside following the death of his mother. There, he discovers a crumbling tower; a mischievous gray heron, voiced in the English dub by Robert Pattinson at his weirdest; and a fantastical world. Also, a parakeet king voiced by Dave Bautista. If The Boy and the Heron is indeed Hayao Miyazaki’s final film, he went out with another masterpiece.
4. Fight Night: The Million Dollar Heist (Peacock)
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On October 26, 1970, Muhammad Ali made his return to boxing following a multi-year suspension. That same night, a hustler named Gordon “Chicken Man” Williams (played by Kevin Hart) hosted a party in Atlanta that ended with a $1 million heist. The Peacock eight-episode limited series is based on this event, as the Chicken Man tries to clear his name by attempting to convince one of the first Black detectives (Don Cheadle) in the city’s police force to bring those responsible to justice. The cast also includes Taraji P. Henson, Terrence Howard, Chloe Bailey, Lori Harvey, and Samuel L. Jackson
Here’s a promise: if you make a movie as good as Green Room, I will watch whatever you make for the rest of your career. Rebel Ridge is the latest film from director and writer Jeremy Saulnier, and it stars Aaron Pierre as a former Marine who “grapples his way through a web of small-town corruption when an attempt to post bail for his cousin escalates into a violent standoff with the local police chief. He didn’t start this fight, but he will finish it.” And hey, if he wants to take out some neo-Nazis along the way, that would be cool, too.
You might know Brian Jordan Alvarez from his videos on TikTok and Instagram as TJ Mack, the singer of earworm “Sitting.” He’s also the star and creator of English Teacher, about a teacher who “often finds himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. Evan wants to be a principled person but often runs into trouble because of it.” His first lesson to his students: sitting is the opposite of standing.
There’s a few things you should know about Slow Horses:
1. As we previously wrote: “Each season is six episodes long and focuses on a distinct mystery or conspiracy and is full of little twists and turns and double-crosses. Sometimes there are stolen diamonds. Sometimes the slow horses will reveal themselves to be drug addicts or gambling addicts and it’ll muck everything up for a little. Sometimes you’ll be watching someone do something and assume they’re taking a brave and bold stance for righteousness and then realize they’ve been manipulated into accidentally doing the bidding of someone smarter and more conniving than they are.”
2. There is so much farting. Like, even more than you think.
Doechii has become a rising star over the past few years, but her increasing profile hasn’t come without its issues. Some of her detractors haven’t had particularly kind things to say about her appearance, but instead of hiding from it, Doechii is leaning in.
“Last year, I started seeing comments from people who would say, ‘She looks like a man.’ Or, ‘She has on too much makeup. She looks like a drag queen.’ All these comments never bother me, because I just find it interesting. But I was like, ‘Since they keep saying I look like a man, I’m gonna f*cking give them a man. An eight-pack, mustache man.’ That’s what inspired me to do the look and I think it turned out sick.”
She also explained the character’s name, saying, “I came up with so many names. I was like, ‘He’s from Panama, he’s bisexual.’ We came up with Ricardo. That’s his name.”
Doechii went on to discuss her mindset behind the photoshoot, saying, “The thespian in me has to be fed. It does a lot for my inner-child. I am a theater kid. Playing with characters and coming up with characters has always been a passion of mine. Fashion is more than just flexing, it’s about being creative and telling a story. That’s what this shoot gave me.”
After spending the last six years of his career in Minnesota with the Vikings, Kirk Cousins is embarking on a new journey as he continues his career in the NFL. The 36-year-old signed a 4-year deal this spring with the Atlanta Falcons, who are hoping a quarterback upgrade can vault them into contention in the NFC.
They’re putting their faith in Cousins, who will take his first snaps of live game action since tearing his achilles midway through the 2023 campaign. While Cousins didn’t make any preseason appearances, he’s confident that he’s gotten the needed reps as a full participant throughout training camp, along with some vital work in during minicamp action in the spring, even as he was still rehabbing to get back to full strength. Falcons fans are hopeful that Cousins can bring out the best in their talented young skill position players, as they selected a receiver (Drake London), tight end (Kyle Pitts), and running back (Bijan Robinson) in the top-10 three years in a row. The task for Cousins is to bring out the best in those young players who have seen a revolving door of quarterbacks over recent years, and he’s excited for what they can do for him as well.
Ahead of the start of the 2024 season in Atlanta, we got to talk with Cousins on behalf of Frito-Lay variety packs and a partnership with GENYOUth, donating meals to fight student hunger and food insecurity. We spoke about his move, the off-field component we often forget of changing franchises, why Atlanta was a place he thought he could win, building chemistry with his young teammates, playing for Raheem Morris, and more.
To start, why was this partnership with Frito-Lay and GENYOUth something you wanted to be a part of and be able to do something for your new home community in Atlanta?
Yeah, on one hand, obviously, the product is pretty iconic. You know, I grew up hoping and praying that my mom was gonna go to the grocery store and buy a Frito-Lay variety pack to put in my school lunches. And now it’s full circle, because I’ve got boys now going into first grade and kindergarten, and now we’re doing the same. And I just remember the fun of which flavor you were going to pick for the day and which pack you were going to get with which options. So just an iconic product that takes me back, and also now I’m using with my boys.
But in addition, just a charitable component with GENYOUth and providing meals to thousands of kids in Atlanta with the donation that Frito-Lay’s going to make. So really, those two components make it a natural fit. And obviously now it’s the back to school season, also the back to football time. So we’re kind of just ramping up now for the start of school, the start of football, and getting our family ready to go here in Atlanta. And this was a great way to just continue to partner ourselves with the community.
You mentioned moving down to Atlanta, and, you know, we often think about the football component, and we’ll get to that, but the life component and talking through this with your wife, with your family, when you have a free agency decision. What are those conversations like about all the non-football things that go into changing franchises?
Yeah, it has been a lot of change. There’s certainly on the field change that’s a lot, but off the field, you forget just how many logistics there are to selling a house, packing up a house, moving across the country, unpacking, finding a house, and then making it yours. And we’re still sort of in that process, and my wife has carried much of that load for me. But it’s no small task, and that’s what our last six months have been.
I remember the day we agreed to sign, our van was packed, and we were road tripping down to Georgia, and it was kind of okay, here we go, and it was quickly kind of drinking through a fire hose from there. So when I watch pro sports, I always see a player change teams, and I am guilty of thinking of him as just doing the exact same thing, but in a different jersey. And it’s so much more complex than that, and we’ve had to live that the last several months.
And then from a football perspective, when you were looking at teams, when you’re looking at what was out there, what made the Falcons an appealing destination for you?
I think ultimately, you kind of always think about, do we have the ability to win football games if I’m there? And you never truly know. But you look at coaches, you look at the talent on the roster, and you start to kind of paint a picture and make an educated guess. And I just looked at the Atlanta situation and felt like, you know, I would like to think I’d have a chance there to be successful and have people around me who are successful. And so that was really what informed the decision, for the most part, and that kind of drives everything.
For you getting back on the field from the achilles, what was the process and what were the checkpoints for yourself to feel like, “Okay, like we’re getting back to normal”? Or when you felt like, “Okay, I’m back to where I want to be on the field”?
Yeah, I was grateful that this spring, I was able to get a lot of reps being a new player to the team. I was wanting to be a part of as much of practice as I could, but I knew that coming off the injury that might be difficult, but we were able to still do it. Even though I was kind of midway through my recovery, I was able to really get every practice rep and that was a big help mentally to kind of get going with the playbook. And then over the summer break, I was able to make some progress and then I’ve been able to be at every training camp practice, full speed, full go. So I’ve been really pleased with the fact that I was able to be a part of so much from the start, and I think that really helped lay a good groundwork, because we did have a lot to catch up on.
Yeah, you’re coming, obviously, into a new system, but it’s also Zac Robinson’s first year here in Atlanta. Do you think that that can help you in a way? Because y’all are installing the system, and they’re installing it with you as the quarterback. It’s not like you’re coming in, and there’s guys who expect it done a certain way. You can kind of tailor it to how you see it and how you feel it.
I think there’s definitely that possibility. I think time will tell, we can kind of look back, based on how the year goes, to say, “Oh, this was a positive, or this wasn’t.” But I do think that you’re perceptive to say that, you know, there’s value in building something together, rather than just showing up and being told this is what we do. That too can have its benefits. But I do think that if we can build something that we both are proud of here, it will be fun to have kind of been able to create it from the ground up together and along with the rest of the guys, the O-line coach and guys who’ve already been here.
I do really like Zac as a football mind. I think he is very sharp. And so much of coaching, a big part of it in this league is, you know, being innovative and having a good football mind and pushing the next level to keep defenses guessing. And I think Zac naturally does a good job of that, and I think that can really help us.
You come in and there’s a bunch of young, talented guys that they’ve drafted recently at the skill positions, but those are guys that have gone through a lot of quarterback changes. Those are guys that have seen a lot of change. What is important for you to be able to build chemistry and build trust with them, so that they can have that confidence to play at their full capabilities that we might not have fully seen yet?
Well, I just want to help them develop their own careers and be successful and contribute the way they want to contribute to help us win. I want to participate in helping them, but I also know that they’re going to help me, and it’s going to go both ways, and that’s the beauty of football is the true team game aspect. We’re all dependent on each other, and I’m really excited about playing with them. It’s been a joy to work with these young guys and how hungry they are and their attention to detail and the way they listen. So I’ve really enjoyed building that chemistry, but we haven’t played a lot of [live] games yet. You know, we haven’t even played a full game yet – we didn’t play in the preseason, either. So there’s a little bit of chemistry building that is naturally going to have to happen during the season, too. And the longer we play together, the more we’re going to be able to get on the same page. But I do like our group and it is, as you said, all about kind of building chemistry as we go.
With regards especially to Bijan in the backfield, you’ve played with dynamic running backs in the past, and what does that do for a passing game? We think so much of the guys on the outside. What does it do for a passing game when you have a guy who gives you that added dynamic coming out of the backfield, and not just kind of behind the line of scrimmage, but he can get out in the field and run more of the route tree?
Well, I think it takes a lot of pressure off the passing offense to be absolutely perfect. If, when you check it down to a running back underneath, he can get you to first down, or he can create an explosive play, make the first guy miss. And I think that’s what Bijan — and really Tyler Allgeier, as well, are capable of doing. And so I feel a strong passing game tends to involve the running back, and I’d like to think that ours will be able to do that. And in doing so, you know, I think it’ll help make our whole offense better, because it’ll keep defenses honest, having to cover all five eligibles. So that’ll be an important part for me as kind of a distributor, to make sure that I’m going where my reads take me, and that if it means getting it to the back and that it goes to the back.
You’re now playing for Raheem Morris, and he’s a guy that – it seems everybody talks about how players seem to really enjoy his energy and his spirit and all that. What have you seen from him in the way that he leads, in the way that he engages with the guys, that you think can make him a successful head coach?
Yeah, I was able to be on the same team with Raheem about 10 years ago. We worked together for three years in Washington. He was a position coach at that time, and now as a head coach, I mean, he hasn’t changed a bit – in a good way. He’s the same cheerful person as he was back then, and he hasn’t allowed the responsibility or pressure of being a head coach change who he is or how he goes about his business. And to your point, I think that players enjoy going to work knowing that their coach enjoys going to work, and you really feel that joy from him at practice, in meetings, passing him in the hallway. And so I think it creates for a good, healthy environment. And I tell guys often, hey, we need to be on our details. We need to play well, we need to win, because this is an environment you want to play in, and the best way to ensure that you’re able to be in it, is to win.
When asked by W Magazine if she’s ever been starstruck, the “Espresso” and “Please Please Please” singer replied, “Oh god. I had a really dangerous Zac Efron phase, when he was in Hairspray. I was 12 years old, and I was on a beach for the Fourth Of July. He would never remember this, but I saw him and said, ‘I’m a big fan of your work!’ He gave me a hug.” Carpenter remembers thinking, “Oh my god, he wasn’t wearing a shirt and he gave me a hug! I was like, ‘This is amazing. I’m never washing my body!’”
Speaking of Disney, Carpenter also reflected on her early days as an actor.
“I did my first audition when I was around 11 years old. The second or third audition was for the first job that I booked — Law & Order: SVU,” she said. “I was thrown off by that booking because I always wanted to do comedy. And on that show, I was a victim. I remember running the lines with my dad and asking, ‘Is this what acting is?’ And then I booked Orange Is the New Black. Can I swear? That episode was called ‘F*cksgiving.’” Carptener joked, “I went from raunchy to Disney!”
Harrison Patrick Smith has a few obstacles to overcome on his first nationwide headlining tour. The artist known by many as The Dare will be hitting the road in support of his debut album, What’s Wrong With New York, which is out on Friday, September 6. Sprawling live runs present plenty of logistical nightmares to begin with, but Smith is facing a number of pressing questions on his first sold out jaunt. Firstly, how can he possibly capture the sexy, scenester shows he’d throw in New York called Freakquencies? These club nights became the place to be seen in the city, and replicating the intoxicating energy won’t be particularly easy when he’s on stage, high above his audience. This brings us to our second conundrum. How is Smith going to bring his electro-pop sound to the biggest venues he’s ever played, while performing on-stage as a solo act? It’s a beguiling question that left Smith, his manager Bryce Segall, and lighting designer Stephen Cowan grasping for answers. As the run is set to begin, the trio are confident they’ve found answers to both, solutions that will hopefully make The Dare live show one of the year’s can’t-miss events — and you don’t need to be an NYC social butterfly to find your way in.
“I want people to feel like they saw something spectacular and dazzling and something that feels worth their time. I don’t want to just get up there and sing,” Smith explains to UPROXX. To execute this vision, Smith recruited Cowan, who won’t be able to join The Dare on the road because he’ll be cooking up visuals for André 3000. “We’ve been slowly building the design to fit in bigger venues and bigger rooms,” Cowan explains. He’s referring to The Dare’s opening slot during Charli XCX’s Brat show in Brooklyn back in June. This came just weeks after Smith provided production Charli on “Guess,” and later its Billie Eilish-featuring remix, from the deluxe edition of Brat. This seems to be a “we’re gonna need a bigger boat” situation. “We’ve been building the show as necessary, but it just keeps getting bigger and bigger,” Cowan explains.
Smith, for his part — both musically and aesthetically — will be taking stage inspiration from the artists he grew up checking out in concert. “I remember seeing Crystal Castles and Sleigh Bells. Those were huge for me. I never got to see Justice, but I saw pictures,” Smith says. “I like these shows that feel like they have epic set designs, and when you can tell no one is making money because they’re putting everything back into the show.” Even without a backing band, Smith still wants this to be one of the most epic shows you’ve ever seen.
Part of achieving this was in marrying the indie sleaze aesthetic of The Dare’s electro roots with some of his more rock n roll inclinations. He had to capture the buzz of Freakquencies shows by performing as a band, not a DJ. “At first, we wanted Harrison to perform in front of a wall of amps, but we needed something behind him. We thought marrying the visual language of rock and roll with the amps, with the electronic leaning lighting rigs that Stephen was bringing in was a perfect middleground,” explains Segall. There’s a Stonehenge element to the upcoming tour, a loud and aggressive set design that combines big visuals with an equally big sound.
“We’re just trying to have it be completely overwhelming and just really intense,” Smith explains. “It’s more about the usage of light rather than color or complex light patterns. It’s just white lights that are either on or off.” It sounds simple, but when paired with The Dare’s music, the result will be awe-inducing.
With so many songs that will be brand new when Smith performs them, he’s able to emphasize his own vision for the perfect setlist without compromising to fan whims or what he thinks the arc of the show should be. He’s going to play the songs he thinks best fit his tour, and the context of these songs will change as people get to know them and familiarize themselves with What’s Wrong with New York. “It’s going to be stripped back and it’s going to be chaotic,” says Smith. Ultimately, he wants this tour to be many, many things at once. Above all, he wants to bring the New York he knows to cities across the country.
“There are so many people I know who are now a fixture in the music or art scenes who, when they first came to town showed up to every party.” Smith notes. He wants The Dare’s tour to feel like one of those parties. Everyone’s invited, and if you want to stand out, you need to look the part. Smith elaborates: “It was like, ‘Who the f*ck is this person?’ And someone says, ‘That’s my friend Joe. He just moved here, he just graduated and he wants to be part of the music scene.’ I’d go, ‘Okay, great.’ That was it. That’s what I did when I moved down here.” And that’s how it starts. Maybe, just maybe, your entry point into a new creative and social world will include an anecdote about going nuts at The Dare’s very first sold out, nationwide tour.
On Thursday, September 5, Gaga graced the cover of Vogue. For the accompanying profile, Jonathan Van Meter accompanied Gaga at Shangri-La and wrote, “Gaga has spent the better part of 2024 here, recording both a surprise project and a new pop record she has taken to calling LG7, which comes out in February.”
Earlier this week, Gaga confirmed that the first LG7 single will be released sometime in October.
Gaga’s last solo LP was Chromatica in May 2020. Her sixth studio album was nominated for Best Pop Vocal Album at the 2021 Grammys. Gaga and the late Tony Bennett won Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album for Love For Sale at the 2022 Grammys.
South Park is taking a rare year off from new episodes. Creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker confirmed to Vanity Fair that the long-running animated series won’t return until 2025. The only new South Park content (to use a word that I’m sure Randy Marsh would say unironically — I’ll have to ask his biggest fan) in 2024 is Paramount+’s “The End of Obesity” special from May.
Why wait until next year? As you might imagine, it’s because of the election.
“We’ve tried to do South Park through four or five presidential elections, and it is such a hard thing to — it’s such a mind scramble, and it seems like it takes outsized importance,” Stone explained. “Obviously, it’s f*cking important, but it kind of takes over everything and we just have less fun.” Parker added, “I don’t know what more we could possibly say about Trump.”
The South Park guys also mentioned that they’re waiting for parent company Paramount to “figure all their sh*t out.” But “honestly,” Stone said, waiting out an election — especially another Trump election — is “on purpose.”
Football: It’s good! On Thursday night, the National Football League will return to our televisions, with games taking place on Thursday, Friday, Sunday, and Monday to get us back into the swing of things with professional football. The day there isn’t NFL football? Well, that’s college football Saturday. Lotta football! I am very happy about this, and if you clicked on this, I presume you are very happy about this, too.
With the NFL coming back, we wanted to take some time to look at something near and dear to all of our hearts: The music that is inseparable from broadcasts. All of the networks that put the NFL on our televisions have distinct songs that are crucial parts of their broadcasts — for fans of the sport, there’s such a sense of familiarity from hearing them.
To celebrate things kicking off on Thursday night when the Baltimore Ravens travel to Kansas City to take on the Super Bowl champion Chiefs, we ranked all nine of the songs that are inextricably linked to the football watching experience.
(Ed. Note: This is just songs that air on game broadcasts, which means the objectively correct answer for the best football songs, the ESPN NFL Primetime music, is not included.)
9. That cover of “In the Air Tonight,” ESPN
I’m just not a fan. It tries to do too much, with Chris Stapleton spearheading a cover of the classic Phil Collins song (which I would probably like on its own if I came across it on Spotify or something) with a verse from Snoop Dogg that screams “we were able to get Snoop to record a verse here.” Its biggest problem, in my humble opinion, is that this doesn’t feel like a song for a football game, primarily because “In the Air Tonight” was, uh, not made to be a song for a football game.
8. NFL RedZone theme, NFL RedZone
Obviously, when the RedZone song hits on Sunday afternoon, I get the zoomies like I’m a dog that is about to get a treat, as Scott Hanson is about to bless me with seven god damn hours of some god damn commercial free football. Having said that, this sounds more like a song that plays in the montage in a Bond movie than a song that, in any other context, would make me think I’m about to watch football.
7. Thursday Night Football theme, Amazon
It’s not bad! The problem is it’s so new to the NFL music game that it lacks the inherit gravitas that the other five NFL network theme songs have, which is totally fine. Amazon is still getting into a groove here, but they have a song that is solid — I think you can make the case it sounds more like the song that plays on the home page for an old college football video game, but that’s more because it’s going up against some real giants.
6. The Monday Night Football theme, ESPN
Here’s the thing with 3-6: They are all interchangeable based on about a million different factors. They’re all iconic in their own ways, and I am putting MNF down here for really no reason other than I like the other ones more on the day that I am writing this up. Those horns at the very beginning are terrific, though, and the way the song builds and builds is great.
5. The Sunday Night Football theme, NBC
Just my opinion, but more places should pay for John Williams to make the theme song for their football game. The drums and strings at the top of this one are sensational, and when the full arrangement comes in, god, it’s so good. It would be higher if not for two things: 1. The 3 and 4 on this list are, for me, untouchable themes in all of sports and, 2. NBC has a song I like more. We’ll get to that second one in a moment, but for now…
4. The NFL on FOX theme, FOX
The best use of a horn section among all four of these. The very beginning of this theme is unmatched, with those horns blaring and announcing Fox’s NFL broadcast, and it continues to be spectacular as the rest of the arrangement comes in. Plus, come on, there’s just something really special about settling into your couch at 1:05 p.m. on a Sunday and hearing this. Also: It will not be the last Fox song that appears on this list.
3. The NFL on CBS theme, CBS
The full arrangement before the guitar comes in, man, nothing like it. Since my formative years as a football fan largely revolved around the balance of power in the sport being in the AFC (i.e.: The Brady and Manning years in New England and Indianapolis), I so closely associate this with the biggest football game in a given week. This is 100 percent a me thing, and I’ve gone back and forth on this and FOX about a million times, but in terms of the network theme songs, nothing tops CBS.
2. The FOX injury music
It has never once been clear to me why this song exists. I could have someone from Fox sit down and explain the thought process behind it to me in detail and I will still have no clue why it exists. Having said that, it is so weird, it is so absurd, it is so unique that it absolutely has to be high up on this list. It, obviously, only plays in unfortunate circumstances, which can knock it way down this list if you want. But I am trying to strip it from that context and judging it as a song, and as such, I’m giving it high marks for how unique it is. It’s got a pretty good groove to it when you listen to it on its own, and I would like to hear The Alchemist chop this up and turn it into a beat for Action Bronson or something.
1. “Waitin’ All Day for a Sunday Night,” NBC
While I really dinged the “In the Air Tonight” cover for not being a football song, this is a football song through and through — even if it is a play on Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself for Loving You” — and the three people who have sang it over the years (Pink, Faith Hill, and Carrie Underwood) seem to have fun with it, even if it has been parodied over the years. There were a few years where they went in a different direction with Underwood’s theme and it just wasn’t as good, but they changed that and went back to “Waitin’ All Day for a Sunday Night.” It’s incredibly corny, but I do not care, because every week, I am, indeed, waitin’ all day for a Sunday night.
It’s not uncommon for legendary players to bounce around from team to team at the end of their NBA careers. Dwyane Wade is a good example of this — after building a Hall of Fame resume as a member of the Miami Heat, Wade spent time with the Chicago Bulls and the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Of course, after Wade’s time in Cleveland unceremoniously ended after 46 games, he returned to the Heat, where he spent the final year and a half of his career. Things just never really clicked for Wade in his second stint as LeBron James’ teammate, which came up during his appearance on the 7PM in Brooklyn podcast with Carmelo Anthony and The Kid Mero. Specifically, Anthony and Wade roasted how ugly the jersey was, with Wade going as far as to say that he didn’t even want to wear the number 3 in it.
“Cleveland was a whole different beast, bro,” Wade said. “It was a lot going on before I got there, obviously coming there as Bron’s guy, I got thrown into the sh*t.”
“We talk about a lot of bullsh*t jerseys on here, you got one of them,” Anthony responded. “That Cleveland jersey…”
“…oooooh, it’s nasty,” Wade said.
“That is nasty work,” Anthony said.
Wade went on to call it “one of the most nastiest jerseys … I didn’t even want the number 3 in that jersey, cause I was like, nah, this ain’t a good look.”
Wade ended up getting moved to Miami at the trade deadline that year, where he wore a jersey that wasn’t nearly as bad as the one he wore in Cleveland.
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