The Orlando Magic will finish up its stint in Las Vegas without one of its two top-10 picks from the 2021 NBA Draft. According to the team, standout young guard Jalen Suggs suffered an injury against the Boston Celtics on Thursday that was determined to be a sprained left thumb.
During the second quarter of action, Suggs drove to the rim and hit the deck, holding his left hand in pain as he got up. The team gave him some time before he underwent an MRI on Thursday, but after that examination showed he suffered a sprain, the team has opted to play things safe and keep Suggs sidelined for the rest of Summer League.
INJURY UPDATE: During the first half against Boston yesterday, @OrlandoMagic guard @jalensuggs suffered an injury to his left thumb. An MRI conducted today confirmed a left thumb sprain.
As a precautionary measure, Suggs will be sidelined for the remainder of NBA Summer League.
Suggs is not the first top-5 pick named Jalen to get shut down as a precaution following an injury he suffered at Summer League, as the Houston Rockets did the same thing with Jalen Green after he hurt his hamstring on Thursday. It’s an unfortunate and abrupt ending for Suggs’ stint in Sin City, as he very much looked the part in about two and a half games before getting shut down. Suggs averaged 15.3 points, 6.3 rebounds, 2.3 assists, and 1.7 steals for the Magic, with his best performance coming during the team’s opener against Golden State.
Even if you’ve never been in a television writer’s room, you can tell one of their favorite activities is making up fake shows that they most certainly do not write for. The names are almost always absurd, and while we may never get much more than a name or fake title card, these shows and movies that do not exist can become beloved to fans of real shows.
The Itchy and Scratchy Show, for example, is a mainstay of The Simpsons canon that’s seen some actual shorts appear in the show itself. And its in-universe production has been part of the plot of The Simpsons itself. Other shows haven’t been nearly as important a focal point but have become running jokes among the show’s characters and fans.
And now there’s a very convenient way to see what those shows would look like if they actually existed. Lynn Fisher, a graphic designer, shared online earlier this week that she’s created Nestflix, a Wiki that looks a lot like Netflix that’s a collection of shows inside of shows. Nested shows, if you will.
Launch day! Are you like me and love a fake movie within a movie? Or show within a show?
Check out Nestflix: the only platform for your favorite nested films and tv shows.
A scroll through the site has shows listed in proper categories like action and drama and even gives them fun landing pages with mocked up title cards, just like Netflix does for its library. Here’s a favorite from 30 Rock, the difficult-to-pronounce drama The Rural Juror.
Nestflix
Fisher called it “a wiki doing some cosplay” so hopefully the powers that be don’t get too upset at the parody here that’s very close to what Netflix’s actual UI looks like. Because it’s an actually useful collection of titles, all in a fun interactive package that Fisher is actively adding to. And if you like testing yourself about where these inside jokes actually came from, it’s a good way to waste some time browsing for sure.
Everyone knows you can easily spend hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of dollars on a hard-to-find bottle of American whiskey. If you want to do that, it’s your prerogative. Nobody is going to tell you not to save up for that bottle of Pappy, Weller, or Stagg you’ve always wanted.
But the whiskey world is also full of bargains. You just need to know where to look. Some of the most well-known American whiskey brands make reasonably priced bottles perfect for your home bar cart or liquor cabinet. We’re talking less than $40.
Jessica Balts, bartender at FireLake Grill House & Cocktail Bar in Minneapolis has a favorite bottle that’s a bargain… if you can happen upon it.
“Hands down, Weller Antique 107, if you can find it,” she says. “Typically runs about $26 at the store and it’s the best value out there.”
To find the best bargain American whiskeys, we asked a handful of our favorite bartenders for an assist. Check out all of their picks below.
Jim Beam Black
Jim Beam
Bobby Gleason, USBG bartender in Las Vegas
Jim Beam Black has been awarded as the world’s best bourbon and at around $20 a bottle. It is bottled at 86 proof which is easy to sip and very versatile in cocktails.
A bottle that should be in every liquor cabinet and on every back bar.
Siobhán Cusumano, bartender at Buya Ramen in St. Petersburg, Florida
Four Roses does a wonderful job at making an affordable bourbon that is easy to drink, and whose cinnamon and caramel play really well in a traditional whiskey sour.
If I had to pick an American whiskey under $40, I would go with a classic, rich bourbon like Bulleit. Bulleit Bourbon has very smooth cinnamon notes, sherry, wood notes that I like.
Eugene Lee, founding bartender at Mix Lab in Los Angeles
There’s actually quite a few options for good American whiskeys at that under $40 price point. These days, I really enjoy the Old Forester 100 proof bourbon or rye. Perfect for old fashioneds.
Mellow Corn (Heaven Hill) is a Bottled-In-Bond aged at least four years. It’s 80% corn, 12% malted barley, and 8% rye. It’s very sweet to the nose and has a very strong sweet corn flavor, with not a very long finish.
I could write an entire article on great American whiskeys under $40. My top two choices would be choices Evan Williams Straight Bourbon and Wild Turkey 101. Evan Williams for its sweeter caramel and brown sugar notes, highlighted by a faint floral aspect which makes it versatile and a great choice for both stirred and shaken cocktails.
Wild Turkey is higher proof so it has a stronger bite and is highlighted by baking spice and earthy campfire notes. It’s balanced by some vanilla, making it perfect for highballs, old fashioned, and sipping neat.
Austin Zimmer, bartender at Le Prive in New York City
Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey. It’d a great whiskey for under $40. It has a smooth and smoky, sweet taste with a light licorice note on the palate.
For me, the best American whiskey under $40 is Old Forester 86. This whiskey goes down like a top shelf bottle at a “well” price. It’s is light, smooth, with caramel and vanilla notes, and still has a great bite at the end that I look for in a good whiskey. This whiskey is a steal.
Value, story, taste. Those are three things that I always try and balance when making a new cocktail menu, and choosing spirits to put on the back bar. When thinking of a whiskey cocktail I have turned to Redemption Rye over and over again. It has the perfect balance to me of all those things and is also just excellent on its own. The high rye mash bill makes it perfect to punch through a wide variety of mixers, and it has this perfect balance between spice, citrus, and light floral tones that allows it to meld with so many different flavors.
Nikole Calvo, bar manager at SIX in Tampa, Florida
The best American whiskey brand you could get for under $40 would be Buffalo Trace Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. The distillery has been making this bourbon for over 200 years the exact same way, so the flavor notes are going to be the same in every bottle that you open. When you taste this whiskey, you’re going to taste a deep amber complex flavor with aromas of vanilla, mint, and molasses. There’s also a hint of brown sugar with toffee and dark fruit with star anise. It’s a smooth finish that hits the back of your throat just right.
Ryan Cunningham, bartender at Anchor and Brine in Tampa, Florida
Basil Hayden’s stays stocked at my home bar. The high percentage of rye into the whiskey’s mash build really plays nicely into the natural sweetness of bourbon. Great for an old fashioned, or on the rocks you’d be hard-pressed to find a better way to spend around $40.
George Dickel, a Tennessee whiskey, has a phenomenal lineup of whiskey and rye that are great options for the price. Also, since Tennessee law requires its whiskey to undergo sugar maple charcoal filtration, it lends a characteristic smoky richness, which is unique and rustic.
Larceny, the same distillery that brought us Elijah Craig. A very pleasant blend of cherries, Benedictine, corn, sweet maltiness, and a touch of oak and spice make it a great, smooth whiskey.
Jeff Rogers, bar director for Jester Concepts in Minneapolis
Rittenhouse Rye Whiskey follows the rules of Bottle-in-Bond. It is 4 years aged and bottled at 100 PF. It is a standard in the world of rye whiskey. Rye spice followed by orchard fruits and baking spices and is a steal for the price point.
My favorite is the Elijah Craig Small Batch. It flies under the radar and you can get a great bang for your buck. There are some sweet notes of honey, vanilla, and oak. This is a great product for someone who is beginning to dive into the world of whiskey.
During a lengthy feature on his directorial career, Alan Taylor revealed that the backlash to Thor: The Dark World made him want to end his career, particularly when coupled with the backlash to Terminator: Genisys, which arrived shortly thereafter. According to Taylor, he signed on to an entirely different when he agreed to the Thor sequel, a “Taylor Cut” if you will, and the movie became an entirely different creation during the editing and reshoot process. In a surprising admission given the character’s recent success, Taylor says Loki would have stayed dead in his version. Via The Hollywood Reporter:
“The version I had started off with had more childlike wonder; there was this imagery of children, which started the whole thing,” he says of the unseen “Taylor Cut.” “There was a slightly more magical quality. There was weird stuff going on back on Earth because of the convergence that allowed for some of these magical realism things. And there were major plot differences that were inverted in the cutting room and with additional photography — people [such as Loki] who had died were not dead, people who had broken up were back together again. I think I would like my version.”
When Thor: The Dark World hit theaters, the fan reaction was brutal, and to this day, it’s still regarded as one of the least embraced entries in the MCU. Shortly after the Dark World debacle, Terminator: Genisys bombed, and Taylor was ready to call it quits.
“I had lost the will to make movies,” Taylor said. “I lost the will to live as a director. I’m not blaming any person for that. The process was not good for me. So I came out of it having to rediscover the joy of filmmaking.”
That process required returning to his HBO roots, sort of. Taylor’s next directorial release will be The Sopranos prequel The Many Saints of Newark, which already has fans of the gangster series buzzing after the first full trailer dropped.
We’re in the middle of another Covid surge, and the people at Donald Trump’s favorite conservative network are still pushing the most unoriginal, moronic conspiracy theories about the vaccine.
OAN host Dan Ball is the latest anti-vax whacko to get in on the fun. Ball invited a random woman onto his show whose only claim to fame and scientific expertise is a couple of Tik Tok videos claiming getting the shot magnetized her body. Amelia Miller posted a series of videos of herself “sticking” various objects to her arm, alleging that the Pfizer vaccine had magnetized her arm. Ball saw the videos and brought her onto his show, not because he’s a conspiracy theorist (though he does believe in “government coverups”), but because he’s just a concerned citizen who wants to get to the bottom of all this … or so he says.
The on-air scientific experiment went about as well as you’d think.
Miller first detailed her experience contracting Covid late last year, admitting the virus hit her hard, sending her to the hospital on multiple occasions, and resulting in some debilitating long-haul symptoms. As traumatic as the whole thing was, Miller claimed she still struggled with whether to get the vaccine but chose “the lesser of two evils” and got her first jab in June of this year. She said after her second shot a few weeks later, she began experiencing strange symptoms including a metallic taste in her mouth, pulsing in her arm, and various metal objects sticking to her injection site. But when Ball asked her to give a demonstration of this phenomenon, that’s when the cringe-level of the whole interview reached unbearable heights.
In the video, Miller can be seen placing a “strong metal key hook” on her left bicep, holding her arm at what appears to be a 45-degree angle. She lets it sit there for a few seconds, turning slightly to show how it simply won’t fall off. She then takes the key hook and places it on her right arm, where it immediately falls off. And … that’s her proof. Ball appears incredulous, even as Miller picks up another metal plate, one you’d find on a bracelet, and tries to stick it to her left arm. It falls off quickly causing Miller to struggle with the rest of her on-air with her magnet show.
OAN hosted a woman who claimed the Pfizer vaccine made her arm magnetic for a friendly interview.
Repeatedly when they were trying to show how metal ‘stuck’ to her arm, it fell off
It’s all so tragically dumb that we’re not sure fact-checking it is even worth anything at this point, but … what the hell. First, the spot Miller claims she got the shot is too far down, too far inside to seem like a credible location for a vaccine that’s supposed to be delivered intramuscularly. Second, the needle used to inject the vaccine is too small to contain a chip or magnet of any kind, and certainly not large enough to inject the kind of magnet needed to be able to stick things to your skin. Third, as all of those celebrities who don’t shower probably know, when skin is sweaty, things stick to it. Just pressing something to your skin hard enough can cause it to stick for a few seconds.
TMZ reports Jennifer Hough, the victim in Kenneth Petty’s 1995 rape case, is suing Petty and his spouse Nicki Minaj for harassment. She’s filed documents accusing the couple of harassing her to recant her initial testimony despite Petty completing his sentence of 18-54 months in prison. However, when the celebrity couple moved from New York to California after getting married in 2019, Petty apparently failed to register as a sex offender, prompting his arrest in March of 2020.
While federal charges against him were eventually dropped. That hasn’t stopped Minaj and other associates from contacting Hough, asking her to recant her testimony. After declining an offer to fly to LA in exchange for doing so, Hough said she and her family “suffered an onslaught of harassing calls and unsolicited visits.” She had previously detailed the alleged harassment in a Daily Beast profile earlier this year. She said she was forced to relocate multiple times, while the couple continued to offer bribes and send lawyers to her home. Now, she’s suing Nicki Minaj and Petty for intentional infliction of emotional distress, harassment, and witness intimidation.
For their part, Minaj and Petty have continued to vehemently deny her accusations, with Nicki claiming that Petty was “wrongfully accused.”
Just in case you thought Ryan Murphy might have been running out of “American stories” to tell, the writer and director is here to assure you he’s far from out of ideas. Earlier today, FX and 20th Television announced Murphy is expanding his American Story franchise even further, with two new spin-off series: American Love Story and American Sports Story.
Much like Emmy award-winning American Crime Story, both of these spin-offs will tell true (and devastating) stories. The upcoming season of American Sports Story will follow the rise and fall of former NFL tight-end Aaron Hernandez, including his infamous trial and suicide. American Love Story will follow the ultimately tragic marriage of John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette — the “beautiful union for the young couple, widely regarded as American royalty, [that] began to fray under the stress of the relentless microscope and navel gaze of tabloid media” and ended in their untimely deaths.
According to FX, both series are slated as limited-runs, however, seeing as how American Horror Story is still kicking and American Crime Story has raked up countless Emmys and award nominations since its premiere in back in 2016, it wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if these series stick around a much longer. The network’s Chairman, John Landgraf, released a statement claiming FX “jumped at the opportunity” to work on more series with Murphy, and is excited to see what comes next:
When Ryan Murphy came to us with these two spinoffs and the stories for American Sports Story and American Love Story, we immediately jumped at the opportunity. What began with American Horror Story has spawned some of the best and most indelible programs of our generation, most notably American Crime Story … We can’t wait to see what comes next.
In addition to Murphy, the rest of the American Crime Story team (Brad Falchuk, Nina Jacobson, and Brad Simpson) will all be producing the upcoming projects. As of right now, no release dates have been announced for either project. However, the American Story franchise will continue with American Horror Story: Double Feature, which premieres August 25, and American Crime Story: Impeachment, which debuts September 7.
If you’re curious about where to get the best plant-based burger money can buy, we’re here to tell you that you’re more likely to find it in your own kitchen than at your favorite fast food restaurant. Right now, the big fast-food chains are taking a decent stab at the plant-based burger but — with the exception of a very small few — most plant-based burgers in the fast food landscape are far from mind-blowing.
They’re all edible. But none of them are crave-worthy (unless you count the Impossible Burger at Umami as “fast food”).
Luckily, the same meat imposters that can be found in those mediocre plant-based burgers are also readily available at a grocer near you. And a homemade plant-based burger really can be delicious enough to actually rival the real thing. These ingredients, more than even regular beef, seem to benefit from a little TLC and a lack of lunch-rush pressure.
We taste-tested and ranked the eight popular grocery store plant-based burger brands to find which one you need to pick up on your next grocery run. Check the full ranking below.
Dr. Praeger’s California Veggie Burgers make no attempt to be fake meat, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Before we had meat 2.0, we had veggie burgers — the OG plant-based meat product! This blend consists of carrots, peas, zucchini, onions, spinach, broccoli, corn, bell peppers, string beans, and soybeans and it’s pretty simple to pick each of those ingredients out visually when you look at the weird yellow and beige Praeger’s patty.
To be honest, I found this weirdly comforting. With some plant-based products, you can’t tell what you’re eating — Dr. Praeger’s makes it obvious.
Alas, we’re still ranking this one last. Not because it doesn’t taste good. It tastes fine. But because no matter how closely you follow the directions, no matter how long you let this frozen patty thaw out, it’ll always be frozen in the middle. I’ve let it sit for hours before cooking, and it still failed to not be frozen. The directions state “cook burger approximately seven minutes until browned. Carefully flip and cook an additional five minutes until heated through and well browned.” If you follow those directions your patty will be frozen. If you attempt to cook it a second longer, it will dry out. Another second and it will burn.
The idea is great, but there is no winning with this one.
The Bottom Line:
You’re better served cutting this one into chunks, cooking it stir-fry style and then tossing it over a salad or throwing it in a tortilla. That method works great… but it’s not a burger.
When I was collecting brands to review for this article, Morning Star Farms was one that was constantly recommended to me by vegetarian friends. But now, four Morning Star veggie burgers later, and I can’t seem to understand why. It’s not that the Veggie Grillers Prime is bad — like Dr. Praegers, the patties are fine — but they didn’t exactly blow me away or convince me that this is in any way an adequate substitute for a good ‘ol beef burger.
The ingredients list isn’t nearly as comforting as what Dr. Praeger’s has got going on, either. There is a lot of wheat gluten, water, oils, and soy products here. But strictly from a flavor standpoint, it’s a definite step up from Dr. Pragers. The veggie patty is well seasoned, with a nice blend of garlic and onion powders, and there’s even a smokey, charred flavor to it. And yet… it comes off as a little too artificial for my liking.
At least it cooks all the way through easily and I wasn’t plagued by a frozen tooth-chipping middle, like with Dr. Praeger.
The Bottom Line:
One of the better-frozen veggie patties out there, with flavors that attempt to recall a real hamburger.
Whole Foods’ Plant-Based Burger patties fall in the same category that Beyond and Impossible inhabit. These are designed to mimic the look, taste, and feel of an actual hamburger. The flavor is only marginally better than Morning Star Farms though. The problem here is the texture. It’s a little too mushy, and because it looks so much more like a burger than the other veggie patties, your instincts will tell you that it needs more time on the skillet.
Ignore those instincts. You will burn this thing, as I did, and once it’s burnt it creates a really awful mouth texture. You’ll have a harder, stiff outer and a soft mushy inside. On my second attempt, I actually cooked it right, which looked unappetizingly under-done, but that mushy inner texture was still there. Luckily this patty takes on the flavors of whatever you season it with — so, coupled with cheese, grilled onions, sauce, and a nice brioche bun, its mouthfeel is no problem.
Aside from Dr. Praeger’s which stayed frozen, this patty gave me the most trouble. And — since you can’t microwave this brand like with with Praeger and Morning Star — it strikes me as the least convenient.
The Bottom Line:
If you’re piling your burger up with the works, this is a fine meat substitution. If you like your burgers on the plain side, Whole Foods’ plant-based burger can have a distracting chewy texture and a bland flavor.
I tried Lightlife on the advice of my editor, and I opted for the ground meat option as opposed to the pre-formed burger patty because that’s what he’d had. If you want a burger, don’t do this, plant-based ground “meat” isn’t quite as easy to form as regular ground beef.
You can shape it just fine, but the off-putting oily texture is downright unappetizing. I don’t love handling raw meat, but I’ll take forming a traditional burger patty to forming this plant-based version any day. Like a lot of the plant-based brands, Lightlife uses beets to add some pinkness to the meat in an effort to look more natural, but that pink color doesn’t ever really cook away, which ends up looking… unnatural.
Where Lightlife excels is in its ability to be an absolute flavor sponge. This plant-based meat is a neutral canvas for you to throw flavors at, so if you break it up in chunks and cook it in a skillet with some potatoes, bell peppers, onions, and cilantro, with a dash of cumin, you’ve got an amazing taco-filling. As a burger, however, this one is bland, dry, and chewy. And unless you want to work your seasonings into the meat (which is a lot more work) the middle of the burger will taste like mostly nothing.
The Bottom Line:
If you want a versatile plant-based meat product that you can turn into all sorts of different dishes, this is a great pick! As a burger? Middling.
It shouldn’t surprise anybody to see Trader Joe’s ranking on the better end of this list, the retailer has been doing plant-based burgers since before they became trendy. Overall this is a very solid attempt. When raw, it looks like meat and the use of beet juice isn’t overdone — which enables your burger to cook brown on the outside, while still retaining a pink middle that recalls a medium-rare beef patty. This meat also has a smokey flavor to it that recalls a charbroiled burger. I cooked it on a cast iron pan but I imagine the result would be even more convincing if cooked on a grill.
Sadly, like the lower-ranked entries on this list, you’ll never achieve that Maillard burger crust like you’d get with real meat. Couple that with a chunky pre-formed shape and once cooked this meat has an uncanny valley-type appearance that I found unappetizing. You’re not going to be fooling anyone (or yourself) into thinking this is a real burger if that’s your goal, but flavor-wise it tastes more like actual meat than it looks.
The Bottom Line:
Smokey with a convincing meat texture, but a little too thick and chunky for my liking. This results in some long and labored chewing, which always reveals just how unlike meat these things still are.
3. Field Roast — Chef’s Signature Plant-Based Burgers
I’ve been pretty excited to give Field Roast a try because it’s a brand that constantly aligns itself with cool chefs — from Action Bronson to Roy Choi. It’s very much geared toward the culinary-minded, but it turns out that that’s really more clever marketing than any actually definable quality It’s pretty in line with the other plant-based meats on this list, but it has a few qualities that set it apart.
Like Trader Joes’ patty, Field Roast’s Chef’s Signature has a distinct smokey charred like flavor to it, but it’s more subtle here and with the inclusion of shiitake mushrooms, porcini mushroom powder, and roasted garlic in the ingredients list, it has a great savory flavor with sumptuous umami notes that can make the mouth water, no seasoning necessary.
It also uses tomato paste to produce its “natural” burger-like color, which I think presents itself better than beet juice (though I’m not entirely sure that is a part of a burger experience that we need to insist on importing into the plant-based meat realm in the first place).
The Bottom Line:
Smokey with notes of umami, Field Roast’s Chef’s Signature tastes like a plant-based burger with a lot of thought put into it, from presentation to the overall flavor.
There is a reason Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods have become the new fast food standard when it comes to plant-based meat — they’re both very good and very convincing. Beyond has changed up their formula a few times since first launching over five years ago, this newest iteration is soy-free and made using a blend of pea and rice proteins, with beet juice and pomegranate concentrate for color, and a whole lot of other seemingly random ingredients like a marginal amount of potato starch, cocoa butter, and lemon juice.
Whatever they’re doing with all those ingredients, they’re doing right. The meat patties have these visible flecks of fat throughout — I’m guessing that’s the coconut oil — which sizzles nicely in the skillet and the overall flavor is very… beefy, for lack of a better word. Like with a lot of the other options, this brand goes absolutely nuts with the beet juice, making this burger actually bleed between bites. I don’t need the simulated bleeding, and since that beet juice does nothing for the flavor I’d actually prefer if it wasn’t there, but hey, if that adds to the sensory experience for you, I’m sure it’s something to be appreciated.
Once cooked up, this burger patty will take on a charred appearance that looks eerily similar to real meat and keeps that verisimilitude in the texture. It doesn’t have any of that fake smokiness that Field Roast and Trader Joe’s have, but I think that puts the power in the hands of the cook, you can season this with whatever you want. Caramelized onions are a must!
While it comes damn close to mimicking actual meat, it’s still a little too chewy and dry to be perfect. If they ever find a way to make this thing retain some juiciness, I can see it easily replacing an actual hamburger. But it isn’t quite there yet.
The Bottom Line:
Beyond Meat truly lives up to its hype. It has a familiar beefy flavor, bleeds between bites (If you’re into that), and has a texture that comes incredibly close to actual meat. It’s also not a soy-based patty, which might make a break a brand for you.
The Impossible Burger tastes and looks so much like ground beef that it’s actually kind of amazing. A lot of the other brands out there come pretty close to mimicking the look and feel of meat, but you can always tell there is something not quite right about the patties. They’re always a little too perfect, too well-formed, too pink! That’s not an issue with Impossible.
The Impossible Burger comes packaged like your favorite grass-fed burger brand, a square piece of “meat” in a vacuum-sealed package. Forming it in your hands feels oily but nearly identical to actual meat and, when thrown on a pan, it crackles and sizzles like meat should, resulting in a beautifully caramelized crust. Better still — and unlike Beyond — the meat here actually retains some of its juiciness.
Biting into this burger offers a juicy, savory experience — with flavors that come in waves, greeting you with a subtly smokey quality and settling into an earthy-y, lean meat quality. It’s not quite as juicy as an 80-20 blend of ground meat, but it tastes so similar to beef that it isn’t just good for a plant-based burger, it’s downright better than a lot of the value menu burgers you can find at places like Burger King and McDonald’s.
Impossible achieves this by adding an essential molecule known as “heme” to their formulation, which is a natural molecule that contains iron (and gives blood its red color) and apparently gives meat its meaty flavor. Impossible’s plant-based heme is made by combining actual heme extracted from soybean roots, which is then inserted into genetically engineered yeast. I don’t really understand the science behind it — Impossible has a whole page dedicated to explaining it — but it really pays off.
This does in fact taste very similar to actual beef. If you can get past thinking about how manufactured it is.
The Bottom Line:
The closest any plant-based meat has ever come to tasting like actual ground beef. It’s not the juiciest burger you’ll ever have (nothing beats animal fat… yet) but it is hands down the best plant-based product on the market. You can buy this stuff and make a burger that even the biggest meat-lover in your life will be able to appreciate.
The Bottom Bottom Line:
It’s better than anything you’ll find on a fast-food value menu.
The best new hip-hop this week includes albums, videos, and songs from Lizzo, Cardi B, and more.
Yeah, I know: They’re on the same song, Lizzo’s comeback single “Rumors.” Blame Kanye West for pump-faking on the release of Donda again. However, we did get some fun consolation prizes in the forms of surprise albums from Benny The Butcher and Ka, as well as a whole slate of updated DSP uploads of Big KRIT’s entire catalog.
Friday saw the releases of Wale’s “Down South” with Yella Beezy and Maxo Kream, Coi Leray’s “Okay Yeah,” Toosii and Latto’s “5’5,” and the Madden 22 soundtrack standouts “8” and “Ball Is Life,” along with the releases listed below.
Here is the best of hip-hop this week ending August 13, 2021.
Albums/EPs/Mixtapes
Benny The Butcher — Pyrex Picasso [EP]
Benny The Butcher
The Griselda member who has potentially flown the lowest under the radar recently (at least in terms of output and public presence) surprised fans with this collection of older material he says he recorded all in one day.
Boldy James & The Alchemist– Bo Jackson
Boldy James & The Alchemist
Boldy and Alchemist are on a roll. They’re now four for four on collaborative releases, which is all the more impressive considering how closely packed the releases have been (The Versace Tape was released almost exactly a year ago, just six months after The Price Of Tea In China).
Fat Joe x DJ Drama — What Would BIG Do? [EP]
Fat Joe & DJ Drama
It looks like Eminem was able to convince Joe to reconsider retirement after all — and what better way to do so than with a bite-sized installment to DJ Drama’s Gangsta Grillz mixtape series?
Iggy Azalea — End Of An Era
Iggy Azalea
Hate her or love her, Iggy’s been a fixture in the rap landscape for longer than some of the game’s legends — which is kinda respectable, if you ask me. Here she returns to her EDM-influenced roots, taking listeners on a four-quarter tour through her career as she takes her curtain call.
Ka — A Martyr’s Reward
Ka
The Brooklyn everyman’s eighth album arrived with little fanfare but little does that mean the finished product wasn’t worth waiting for. Ka’s albums are always worth unpacking, ensuring fans get the most bang for their bucks.
Tanya Morgan — Don And Von
Tanya Morgan
Originally starting out as a trio in the pre-blog era and whittling down to just two members, the group’s fifth album celebrates the duo’s partnership and sees them tackle a variety of topics.
Singles/Videos
ASAP Tyy — “100 Rounds”
The most overlooked member of the ASAP gang has been quietly pumping out energetic, engaging bangers for a while now. Whether that means he’s building up to a full-length release remains to be seen.
AZ — “The Wheel”
In a perfect world, AZ would have had a parallel trajectory to his friend and “Life’s A B*tch” collaborator Nas. As it is, let’s just thank our lucky stars that he’s still around — and just as sharp as ever as he prepares to drop Doe Or Die 2.
Haviah Mighty — “Flamenco” Feat. Mala Rodríguez
The genre-bouncing Torontonian recruits Spanish vocalist Rodríguez to once again expand and refine her sound.
MIKE — “za Za Za Za zaZa”
MIKE offers up reflective life bars over a trademark lo-fi beat.
Pell — “Flight” Feat. Dave B.
New Orleans multi-discipline rapper and musician Pell links up with Seattle’s Dave B. in this cutesy, handmade video.
Rexx Life Raj — “Calling” Feat. Terrace Martin
You already know. Raj’s consistency is only matched by Martin’s surprising improvisation. A match made in heaven.
Russ — “When I’m With You”
This week’s Russ release is even more somber than usual but in a compelling, melodic way.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
John Carpenter’s Escape From L.A. hit screens 25 years ago this week, dropping in at the tail end of a summer season that featured Independence Day, Mission Impossible, Twister, and The Rock. The return of Snake Plissken, with Kurt Russell donning the eye patch for the first time in 15 years (or four if you count Captain Ron, and I do) should have allowed the film to fit right in amongst the other blockbusters of ’96, but instead, it got its clock cleaned on its opening weekend by Jack. Do you remember Jack? No, you do not, but it’s a family drama from Francis Ford Coppola featuring Robin Williams as a kid with a disease that makes him age super fast. Critics HATED it, but it made more than twice Escape From L.A.‘s $25 million domestic take. This is further proof that box office has little to do with quality. But that number seems light, right? I mean, Snake Plissken! But maybe not!
Carpenter and Russell are both icons, and not in the participation trophy way with which the word often gets applied. They’re honest to goodness game-changers who have done great things individually, but their team-ups are extra special, specifically Escape From New York, The Thing, and Big Trouble In Little China. Shockingly, however, the combined domestic box office for those three films is a little more than $50 million. That doesn’t quite make them failures when adjusting for today’s dollars and taking their budgets and expectations into account, but it’s notable because a studio somehow gave Carpenter about that much money to make Escape From L.A. expecting a lot more ROI than they should have based on prior returns. Silly studio, that’s approximately 8X the budget he had on Escape From New York. This was great, because Carpenter had, historically, made big things happen on smaller budgets, and so those hubris bucks gave him the chance to embrace the full breadth of his ambition, and the weirdo result, paired with the innate badassery of Russell, is why the film is still worth talking about.
Let’s get the plot description out of the way for anyone who has forgotten or who hasn’t seen the film (which you can and should rent on Amazon).
The year is 2013 and America is under the reign of a divide and conquer totalitarian President (Cliff Robertson) with rat’s nest hair and near-certain brain worms. He’s been elected for life on a platform that’s a mix of weaponized political correctness and moral cleansing, sending people to the freshly made badlands of L.A. (which has broken off from the mainland after an earthquake) if they aren’t cut out of a Rockwell painting. He’s a coward, hypocrite, and the clear villain of the film. What a mixed message for proto-red hats in the ’90s who would have surely latched onto the anti-PC slice of that pie, no wonder they turned to Limp Bizkit music to clarify their rage.
The President’s daughter (A.J. Langer) betrays her father, stealing a superweapon for Cuervo Jones (George Corraface), her L.A.-based rebel leader boyfriend. He has bad intentions, but the government isn’t keen to let him start a war. Enter Plissken. After being arrested and injected with a virus, Plisken heads to dystopian L.A. with only a short time to retrieve the weapon and get back to the mainland for an antidote. Here’s where things get wonderfully weird.
See Steve Buscemi as a fast-talking con man and goon, the guy from Revenge Of The Nerds as a knife-throwing skinhead, and Bruce Campbell as a demented plastic surgeon with a parade of freaks! Experience a burnt-out L.A., the very best fake future tech that Radio Shack had to offer, hang gliding machine gunnery at a pseudo-Magic Kingdom, and a key scene where Snake surfs a tsunami with Peter Fonda using effects that inspired the person behind them to publicly apologize for the entire sequence.
This is called “Surfboard Car Chase Scene.” He is wrong.
The sh*tty CGI of this film is a feature, not a glitch. Does Big Trouble In Little China have pristine effects? Hell no, neither does The Thing. It’s part of their charm.
The trailer doesn’t shy away from those moments, mixing the surfing and hang gliding scenes with hardcore metal, Langer in her underwear, more metal, and a bunch of random clips of Snake kicking ass and talking up his distaste for rules. The ’90s! Anyway, what Carpenter did not show in the trailer is the film’s secret weapon: a leather-clad Kurt Russell being forced to take on the ultimate basketball challenge within Cuervo Jones’ makeshift gladiatorial arena at the Los Angeles Coliseum.
“I give you the death of Snaaaaake Plissken!” shouts Cuervo to the disparate groups of baddies cheering on the bloodsport. Not quite!
Please realize that, if you go by Russell’s age at the time of the film’s release, Snake was in his mid-40s when he walked onto the court. The character was also feeling heavy effects from the virus he’d been dosed with. Russell is a former pro athlete and he was clearly in great shape, but on his best day I doubt Snake could have gone end to end with a 10-second clock, sinking every shot for 2 points (“no 3 point bullshit” — Cuervo Jones was not made for the modern game) with the threat of execution hanging over him should he miss. I don’t know who could. Remember, Cuervo warned him that no one had ever survived. But somehow, Snake rallies and finds MJ Flu Game energy.
I love Snake’s reaction after the rules are explained to him. Not angry, not scared. Just annoyed, like, “do I really have to ball out on these f*ckers without my Reebok pumps?”
As you can see in the clip, Snake is the original four-level scorer, going from layups to mid-range, to half court, and then a heave from full court that gracefully drops. I have, over the years, read a few things on this movie and I have no idea if Kurt Russell is the one who shot those shots or if some kind of trickery was deployed. “Do you believe in miracles?” Wrong movie, but yes, I want to.
The movie ends with a less bonkers but equally inspired twist that echoes the end of Escape From New York albeit with more broadly felt consequences as Snake decides that the world needs a hard reboot. It’s cynical and limiting when it comes to sequels unless Carpenter and Russell ever want to come back and take Snake fully into Man With No Name full-on western territory (oh, god, please do exactly that). But it’s also pitch-perfect, affording this mishmash of wild ideas the big damn exclamation point it deserves.
While there has been talk about additional films (including one in space) and a TV show, both men seem to be winding down their prodigious careers. Carpenter hasn’t directed a feature since 2010 (but that certainly doesn’t mean he’s retired) and there have been rumors that Russell wants his work in the Christmas Chronicles as Santa Clause (which he plays the hell out of) to be his swan song. But who knows?
A reboot is always possible. Robert Rodriguez was attached once, which is interesting for a lot of reasons, but primarily because if you squint during scenes like the “Surfboard Car Chase,” it almost looks like a shot from Rodriguez and Frank Miller’s Sin City.
More recently, The Invisible Man writer/director Leigh Whannell took the reigns, but it doesn’t sound like anything is imminent. Which is fine. I’m all for recasts, reboots, remakes, reimaginings, etc. Stories get passed from generation to generation. I await the moment when nostalgia boys crack under the weight of the news that someone else will play Indiana Jones deep into the future (you know it’s coming). But with Snake, it’s more than the challenge of filling Kurt Russell’s boots.
Can you even imagine a modern take on this anti-modern anti-hero character? Snake is 2D and it serves him (and us) when he’s dropped into 3D worlds of chaos and excess. If someone reflexively tried to probe his backstory to give him more layers or invent comical quirks or a deeper motivation beyond survival, the character would lose his specialness, wither, and die. Like an over-annunciated word, it would stab the ear and reek of overthink. Carpenter understood that perfectly, which is why he could make the world and the story bigger, more ridiculous, and with higher stakes and a bigger message at the end in Escape From L.A. All while Snake stayed largely the same. Anything else probably wouldn’t have saved it from box office failure, it just would have made it less interesting and entertaining.
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