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Stephen Colbert Details How He Was Disinvited From Obama’s 60th Birthday Party (But He’s Not Bitter!)

Stephen Colbert returned to late night on Monday after a two-week vacation and looked appropriately relaxed and refreshed. But it certainly wasn’t from breathing in the salty ocean air on Martha’s Vineyard. Recapping all the news that he had missed while unplugged from the daily news cycle, Colbert rattled off the laundry lists of issues we’re dealing with—and the most pressing matter people have been wondering about:

“There’s a fourth wave of coronavirus, we just got a global warming red alert for humanity, there are wildfires consuming Northern California and Greece. So naturally, there’s one question on everyone’s mind: Did I go to Barack Obama’s birthday party?”

The short answer: No, he did not.

Though he was originally invited to fete the former POTUS, Colbert admitted that when the Obamas decided to massively scale back the guest list to just their few hundred closest friends and family members, he “got massively scaled.” What was more amusing to Colbert was that “the news that I didn’t go might be news to some people in the news.” As he explained:

“The Boston Herald reported the guests included ‘late-night host Stephen Colbert and his wife, Evelyn… who also own property there.’ Which leads to the question: ‘So Steve, what’s your house like on Martha’s Vineyard?’ I have no idea. Boston Herald, could you please send me the address and the keys and maybe the alarm code, because I’d love to stay there someday. I don’t own a house on Martha’s Vineyard.”

Colbert went on to explain that the mix-up — at least about him attending the party — was likely due to the fact that they were invited, and had booked their flight and reserved a hotel, all of which was nonrefundable. So even though they ended up being part of Obama’s B-team, they took advantage of the already-paid-for getaway.

The moral of the story, according to Colbert? “It just goes to show, kids, that if you work hard, put in your time, and get to be the number one show in late-night television, you too can get disinvited from the cool kids party.” But he’s not bitter. “My own 60th birthday is coming up in three years,” he said. “And you, sir… are not going to want to miss it. Please come! I’d be so honored if you can. I’ll scale me back to make room for you and Michelle.”

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Spencer Dinwiddie Joked He’ll Be The First Wizards Guard To ‘Lobby Senators About Bitcoin’

Spencer Dinwiddie is headed to the nation’s capital where he will step into the point guard role alongside Bradley Beal to form a potent offensive backcourt for the Wizards. Dinwiddie arrives in Washington after a sign-and-trade this offseason that saw the Wizards able to bring him in as a restricted free agent without having to part with any of the players that came their way in the Russell Westbrook deal, as they overhauled their roster this summer with what eventually became one massive trade.

There’s plenty to be excited about with the Dinwiddie and Beal pairing, as the two are explosive off the dribble threats who will apply tons of pressure to opposing defenses and should, in theory, create a lot of open looks for Davis Bertans, Rui Hachimura, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, and others. That won’t be the only pressure Dinwiddie is applying in the nation’s capital, though, as the point guard’s love of cryptocurrency is going to send him to Capitol Hill to lobby senators about Bitcoin.

Dinwiddie was joking, at least we think, but it is a great quote for distinguishing ones self from the point guards of the past in Washington. The Wizards are going to be a fascinating team to watch next year for myriad reasons, as fans around the Association will once again be paying attention to how they perform as the entire league continues to hope for Beal’s eventual exit. However, the Wizards have positioned themselves pretty well this offseason to build on last year’s run to the playoffs with a much deeper roster, headlined by Dinwiddie’s addition who will look to prove himself impactful on and off the court in Washington next season.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Been Suspended AGAIN By Twitter For Peddling Horsesh%t And Of Course She’s Taking It Well (She’s Not)

In what’s becoming a recurring theme for the Georgia congresswoman who run into office on a wave of QAnon conspiracy theories, Marjorie Taylor Greene has been suspended from Twitter yet again for spreading COVID and vaccine misinformation. This time around, Greene implored the FDA to not approve the COVID vaccine because vaccinated people are still getting infected. While it’s true that “breakthrough infections” are occurring, they are rare when compared to rates amongst the unvaccinated. More importantly, the purpose of the vaccine is not to prevent infection, but to protect the recipient from becoming seriously ill or dying. The vaccine has been very successful in that regard, but good luck telling Greene that.

“The FDA should not approve the covid vaccines,” Greene tweeted. “There are too many reports of infection & spread of #COVID19 among vaccinated people. These vaccines are failing & do not reduce the spread of the virus & neither do masks. Vaccine mandates & passports violate individual freedoms.”

Greene tweeted her vaccine misinformation on Monday night, and by Tuesday morning, her account was suspended for the fourth time. According to Twitter’s rules on COVID misinformation, one more violation, and Greene will be permanently suspended. True to form, Greene did not heed this latest suspension as a warning, and instead, issued a statement doubling down on her vaccine remarks and taking things an extra step further by calling the pandemic a “Communist Chinese bioweapon.” She also worked in the Republican talking point of blaming the rise in COVID cases on “illegal aliens” crossing the border.

Via Mediaite:

Why is it “right and moral” to allow tens of thousands of COVID positive illegal aliens into our country and fly them into every state on the taxpayers dime, yet force our children to mask up for school?

But if I dare says the truth, Twitter suspends me because the truth is so offensive to the fragile hypocrites all over Twitter!

I refuse to be silent about these important life changing issues and the Communist Chinese bioweapon COVID.

As her statement full of right-wing greatest hits came to an end, Greene made it a point to include an anti-trans remark just in case everyone forgot she once posted a transphobic sign outside the door of a congresswoman who has a trans child.

“They will allow porn on Twitter. They will allow posts about parents transitioning their children and changing their gender on Twitter. But Twitter won’t allow any real discussion of the truth from an elected Congresswoman because Twitter only cares about the Democrat Communist agenda for America,” Greene wrote. “It’s a good thing my voters couldn’t care less about Twitter.”

(Via Mediaite)

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People Cannot Believe That Andrew Cuomo Actually Resigned As Governor Of New York

It’s the end of an era. A groping era? That’s allegedly what’s been going down with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, who announced that he’s stepping down from his position, a year after he led New York out of the first pandemic wave. This move arrives after recent damning developments, including the governor’s response to the New York Attorney General’s office release of a 165-page report that summarized the sexual harassment investigation against him (including a claim that he groped a state trooper on his detail). And then Cuomo (arguably) made it worse for himself by rolling out a montage of him touching and kissing people. This was his attempted defense, while he attempted to say that he wasn’t a groper, a touchy-feely-kind-of dude. Yikes.

The ill-advised photo montage (which was preceded by the gaslighting of his alleged victims) even provided plenty of ammunition for Fox News to grab the ball and run into toward the end zone.

It was an almost universally panned move. As HBO’s John Oliver put it, “It’s frankly incredible that Cuomo thought releasing an irrelevant montage of photos would somehow exonerate him. Apparently his strategy for literally any crisis is ‘Put together a PowerPoint, and that’s it.’” Yep, and since all of this backfired (and perhaps also due to a fresh investigative report from Ronan Farrow in The New Yorker), Cuomo saw the writing on the wall and resigned in a speech that he streamed on the governor’s website.

Here’s part of what Cuomo said while stating that he was “too familiar with people” but never admitting to wrongdoing:

“This is one of the most challenging times for government in a generation. Government really needs to function today, government needs to perform. It’s a matter of life and death government operations. And wasting energy on distractions is the last thing that state government should be doing. And I can not be the cause of that…. I think that given the circumstances, the best way I can help now is if I step aside and let government get back to government, and therefore that’s what I’ll do, because I work for you, and doing the right thing, is doing the right thing for you.”

Cuomo’s resignation will be effective in 14 days with Lt. Gov. Kathy Hochul coming into view as his successor.

Well naturally, people are losing their minds and cannot believe that Cuomo is actually stepping away after appearing to dig his heels in for the long haul. Cuomo did so dramatically (and without taking ownership of his alleged actions), and people noticed.

“Cuomo said he knows people have boundaries,” one of the most telling Twitter reactions declared. “He also told us all he loves us.” Yup.

And on a more serious note… (with Dan Rather getting the last word):

(Via NBC News & Variety)

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It Looks Like Kanye West May Not Be Moving To A New Stadium To Complete His ‘Donda’ Album After All

Among other things, Kanye West has a reputation for not releasing albums on time. His upcoming LP Donda, named after his late mother, was delayed until last Friday but has still yet to be released. The rapper is currently holed up at a stadium as he finishes the album and a collaborator seemingly gave an update on its delay, saying they planned on moving arenas. But it now looks like that may not actually be the case.

West hosted a first Donda listening party at Atlanta’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium last month before he decided to make it his temporary home while putting the finishing touches on his release. But shortly after Donda didn’t arrive as planned last Friday, West’s collaborator KayCyy took to Twitter to say, “We moving to another stadium.”

The tweet was swiftly deleted, but not before it made the rounds on the internet. KayCyy has now issued an update, saying the original tweet was posted by hackers. “4 of my tweets were hacks … I will not be on twitter anymore for the rest of the week,” he wrote.

KayCyy then informed his followers that he and West were not moving to another stadium after all.

The exact date that fans can finally expect to hear Donda still remains unclear, though streaming services now report that it can be heard on August 13. The rapper did seem to have an excuse as to why it didn’t drop on Friday, however. Apparently, West had noticed a mistake in the album’s mixing during his last listening party, which may have contributed to yet another delay.

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Beyonce Shares An Exciting Update On The Status Of Her New Era: ‘The Music Is Coming’

It’s been five years since Beyonce released her groundbreaking album Lemonade. While the singer has been hard at work on other projects since, like recording the soundtrack to The Lion King and making cameos in projects for other artists, fans have been patiently awaiting her new era of music. The Beyhive can finally rejoice as she has confirmed her music is coming sooner rather than later.

The last we heard about the possibility of new music from Beyonce, the singer had revealed she was cooking up some tunes when talking with her former Destiny’s Child crew. But the singer has now sat down with Harper’s Bazaar for a rare interview where she chatted about her career and the status of her impending release. Beyonce spoke to the difficulties we as a society have faced over this past year, saying that she hopes to offer escapism through song:

“With all the isolation and injustice over the past year, I think we are all ready to escape, travel, love, and laugh again. I feel a renaissance emerging, and I want to be part of nurturing that escape in any way possible. I’ve been in the studio for a year and a half. Sometimes it takes a year for me to personally search through thousands of sounds to find just the right kick or snare. One chorus can have up to 200 stacked harmonies. Still, there’s nothing like the amount of love, passion, and healing that I feel in the recording studio. After 31 years, it feels just as exciting as it did when I was nine years old. Yes, the music is coming!”

Read the full Harper’s Bazaar feature here.

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Christina Applegate Says She’s Been Diagnosed With Multiple Sclerosis

Primetime Emmy award-winning actor Christina Applegate has revealed she’s been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Applegate, best known for her comedic work on shows such as Dead To Me and Married… With Children, as well as her roles in hit films like Anchorman and Bad Moms, shared the news late Monday evening via a tweet from her personal Twitter account. The actor revealed she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis earlier this year, and the last few months have been “a strange journey.”

Following her initial tweet, the actress later added:

“As one of my friends that has MS said “ we wake up and take the indicated action”. And that’s what I do. So now I ask for privacy. As I go through this thing. Thank you xo”

Multiple sclerosis, often abbreviated as MS, is a medical condition that affects the central nervous system, leading to vision and motor impairments, as well as issues with sensation and balance. MS is classified as an autoimmune disease, meaning it is a condition in which the immune system attacks its own healthy cells thus leading to its debilitating symptoms. While multiple sclerosis is treatable, it can lead to a reduced life expectancy and greatly impact quality of life.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the only time the actor has publicly fought a life-threatening medical condition. In 2008, Applegate was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a bilateral mastectomy. Following her fight with breast cancer, she went on to establish the foundation Right Action for Women to encourage and help finance MRI scans for at-risk women.

Applegate first began her career in television as the iconic Kelly Bundy on the hit sitcom Married… With Children. Since then, her career has sky-rocketed and taken her to countless television shows and major roles in films such as Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, The Big Hit, The Sweetest Thing, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Bad Moms, and Crash Pad. In 2019, Applegate starred in the Netflix series Dead To Me, a dark comedy about two grieving women who bond in an unusual way. In 2020, Netflix confirmed a third and finale season was in the works, though there’s no telling how Applegate’s diagnosis might affect this. However, if the past is any indication of the future, we know Applegate will take on this next challenge with all her signature fight, resilience, and humor and continue to thrive.

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All The Best New Indie Music From This Week

Indie music has grown to include so much. It’s not just music that is released on independent labels, but speaks to an aesthetic that deviates from the norm and follows its own weirdo heart. It can come in the form of rock music, pop, or folk. In a sense, it says as much about the people that are drawn to it as it does about the people that make it.

Every week, Uproxx is rounding up the best new indie music from the past seven days. This week we got the stunning new album from Foxing, another taste of Big Red Machine’s forthcoming album, and the official return of modern indie pop legends Wet. Check out the rest of the best new indie music below.

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Foxing – Draw Down The Moon

Foxing’s fourth LP “sometimes feels both 10 years behind and ahead of its time,” Ian Cohen wrote in a recent Uproxx feature. After 2018’s Nearer My God set the St. Louis band on a trajectory toward weirdo art rock greatness, Draw Down The Moon solidifies their ambitions and raises the stakes once again, creating a space for fans and critics to either elevate Foxing into the stratosphere… or not.

Kississippi – Mood Ring

Kississippi’s sophomore album is nothing less than a triumph. Zoe Reynolds emerged from the basement DIY scene in the late 2010s with her debut album Sunset Blush, a somber and impressive indie-rock affair. With Mood Ring, Reynolds sets her sights above the basements and clubs that serve as the ceiling for a certain type of music, instead delivering an album full of the pop bombast and lyrical drama that anchors the best of Taylor Swift and Lorde.

Ty Segall – Harmonizer

After years of prolific releases, Ty Segall took a little time to recuperate during the mayhem of 2020. But the writing never stopped, and now Segall is back with Harmonizer, a brand new album that finds the songwriter entering uncharted territory. After making a name for himself in the garage rock world, Harmonizer takes a step into what can only be called borderline synth pop, featuring snappy beats, synthesizers, and stacks of harmonies (hence the album’s name). It’s Segall’s most polished work to date, and a worthwhile experiment from the storied rocker.

Laura Stevenson – Laura Stevenson

Laura Stevenson has long been one of the most underrated songwriters of the indie world. Her new self-titled album is a shining example of her strengths, cataloging the full spectrum of emotions via her experiences giving birth to her first child during the pandemic, as well as the powerful rage born from a turbulent situation in which someone she loves was harmed and nearly killed. Beautiful in its delivery and visceral in its approach, Laura Stevenson was produced by John Agnello (Kurt Vile, Hop Along, Dinosaur Jr.), and features appearances longtime collaborator Jeff Rosenstock.

Big Red Machine – “Mimi (ft. Ilsey)”

After a blockbuster 2020 for the members of Big Red Machine through their collaborations with Taylor Swift, Aaron Dessner, and Justin Vernon are gearing up to release a proper Big Red Machine project a bit later this year. We’ve already gotten a few samples of How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last?, and now the duo is back with Ilsey-featuring “Mimi,” which found the three writing their own lyrics in isolation before coming together to interweave their thoughts and messages. “The lyrics of the chorus reflect a longing for closeness and connection,” Ilsey said in a statement. “But that longing is made to feel safe and less pained next to Justin and Aaron’s lyrics which have this strong theme of gratitude.”

Deafheaven – “In Blur”

Deafheaven fans were surprised when the announcement of the band’s new album Infinite Granite came accompanied with a new song that… didn’t really sound like Deafheaven at all, with George Clarke’s new clean vocal approach. Turns out, that approach wasn’t a fluke, as “In Blur” boasts what Derrick Rossignol calls for Uproxx “a strong dream-pop influence,” which feels like a far cry from the band’s black metal days.

Black Midi – “Cruising”

It’s been a few months since Black Midi unleashed their prog rock-infused second album Cavalcade. Now, the band has widely released “Cruising,” a track that was previously only available as a bonus track for the Japanese CD edition of Cavalcade. “Cruising” is nearly seven minutes of “subdued by layers of urgent guitar chords and languid brass instruments which eventually break down into a cacophony of sound at the bridge, staying true to Black Midi’s previous releases,” writes Carolyn Droke for Uproxx.

Unknown Mortal Orchestra – “That Life”

Unknown Mortal Orchestra haven’t officially announced a new album yet, but they’ve just dropped their second new song in a few weeks, which would lead us to believe that something is coming soon. “That Life” is what Caitlin White called for Uproxx a “sunny funk” number, one that follows in the footsteps of the previous single and sets a high bar for whatever new project is to come from the Kiwi rockers.

The World Is A Beautiful Place… – “Invading The World Of The Guilty As A Spirit Of Vengeance”

It’s been four years since The World Is A Beautiful Place And I Am No Longer Afraid To Die dropped Always Foreign, an album that finally helped me to understand the band. The band wrote their forthcoming LP Illusory Walls entirely remotely, and immediately dials into intricate instrumentation with lyrics lamenting the inherent contradictions of modern life.

Mamalarky – “Meadow”

Late last year, we showcased Atlanta outfit Mamalarky‘s debut self-titled LP. Just a few months later, the quartet is back with a brand new track: “Meadow” follows closely in the footsteps of the full-length, delivering a fun blissed-out indie pop affair featuring fuzzy guitars and shimmering vocals.

Pet Symmetry – “2021: A Personal Space Odyssey”

Chicago rockers Pet Symmetry are in full petsimmist mode (haha, get it?) on their new album Future Suits, due later this week. The new track “2021: A Personal Space Odyssey” is a propulsive indie jam centered around the constant barrage of horrible shit that’s fed to us, all the time in the modern age. It’s a depressing reality we live in, but at least we have Pet Symmetry to keep it fun!

Hand Habits – “Aquamarine”

Meg Duffy was not intending to write an album about the pandemic, but the new Hand Habits album Fun House ended up coming together as a result of taking a much-needed pause from the hustle bustle of normal life. Built upon electronic drums and plucking synthesizers, the Sasami Ashworth-produced “Aquamarine” is one of Duffy’s most ambitious songs to date. “What originally started as a minimally arranged acoustic ballad, ‘Aquamarine’ evolved into the story of certain events in life, what informs my identity, the silence in the questions left unanswered that become the shape of understanding who I am,” Duffy said in a statement.

Wet – “Larabar”

After a few years of silence, modern indie pop legends Wet are finally returning later this year with a new album. To tide us over, the New York trio have shared “Larabar,” a glitchy, electronic affair that is “about a relationship cycle that becomes a loop — eventually a feedback loop — obsessively repeating, breaking up, getting back together, breaking up again,” vocalist Kelly Zutrau explained in a statement.

Blackstarkids – “Juno”

After delivering one of 2020’s most exciting projects with Whatever, Man, Kansas City cherubs Blackstarkids are ready to unveil their proper debut album, Puppies Forever, later this year. The album is previewed by “Juno,” a track that I wrote “showcases the group’s knack for blurring genre lines and incorporating everything from hip-hop and R&B to power pop and shoegaze.”

Damon & Naomi – “The Aftertime”

For the first time in more than five years, form Galaxie 500 members Damon Krukowski and Naomi Yang — who perform as the duo Damon & Naomi — are prepping a new album called A Sky Record. The latest preview of the record is the dreamy, sparse track “The Aftertime,” which Naomi Yang described in a statement as “a song about the kind of freedom you can give back to yourself, after emerging from a challenging situation — be it a relationship or a year and a half of lockdown.”

Unto Others – “Downtown”

Let’s be honest, ’80s metal was kinda cool sometimes. A few months after sharing their first single with Roadrunner Records, Portland rockers Unto Others have officially announced their new full-length project, Strength. The effort is previewed by “Downtown,” a tight track full of gothic vocals, riffs, and seedy imagery of, well… life downtown. Strength is the group’s first release under the name Unto Others, after they were forced to change their name from Idle Hands due to a trademark dispute.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Sharon Van Etten And Angel Olsen Perform A Moving, Acoustic Rendition Of ‘Like I Used To’ On ‘Kimmel’

Back in May, two great singer-songwriters, Sharon Van Etten and Angel Olsen, teamed up for a gorgeous joint single, “Like I Used To.” So far, they’ve taken the track to The Tonight Show, and they’ve even found fans in Jeff Tweedy, who recently covered it. Now, the pair have brought “Like I Used To” to Jimmy Kimmel Live, where they sat for a stripped-down, all-acoustic performance taking place at Los Angeles’ Zebulon.

When the track first came out, Van Etten said of working with Olsen, “Even though we weren’t super close, I always felt supported by Angel and considered her a peer in this weird world of touring. We highway high-fived many times along the way…. I finally got the courage in June of 2020 to reach out to see if she would want to sing together. I got greedy and quickly sent her a track I had been working on.”

Olsen added, “I’ve met with Sharon here and there throughout the years and have always felt too shy to ask her what she’s been up to or working on. The song reminded me immediately of getting back to where I started, before music was expected of me, or much was expected of me, a time that remains pure and real in my heart.”

“Like I Used To (Acoustic)” is out now on Jagjaguwar. Get it here. Likewise, Olsen’s new ’80s-covers EP Aisles arrives digitally 8/20 and physically 9/24 on somethingscosmic. Pre-order it here.

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Jennifer Coolidge Is Giving A Career-Best Performance On ‘The White Lotus,’ But She Almost Turned Down The Role

There are no bad performances on The White Lotus. The entire cast, including Murray Bartlett (Armond), Connie Britton (Connie), Steve Zahn (Mark), Alexandra Daddario (Rachel), and Sydney Sweeney and Brittany O’Grady (Olivia and Paula), is great. But there’s one performance on the HBO series that stands above the rest — it’s the Pineapple Suite to everyone else’s still-incredible Palm Suite. That would be Jennifer Coolidge as Tanya, who travels to the White Lotus to spread her mom’s ashes. To say someone is giving a “career-best performance” is a cliché at this point, especially for someone who shined in Legally Blonde, Best in Show, and A Mighty Wind, but in this case, it’s absolutely true: Jennifer Coolidge is giving a career-best performance.

The thing is, she almost turned down the role.

“I was really affected by the pandemic. It was an incredibly sad time. I was reading tragic news stories on a daily basis, had a fatalistic approach and assumed the virus was going to win. I knew people who lost their lives and was convinced we wouldn’t make it through. I wasn’t thinking about work, because I didn’t think we’d be alive,” Coolidge told the Guardian about being initially reluctant to take the role. “But then [The White Lotus creator] Mike White called. His show about rich people on vacation had been picked up by HBO and he’d written a role with me in mind.” She continued:

“I said, ‘OK, when are we doing it?’ He said, ‘What do you mean? We just got green-lit. We’re doing it now. You need to get on a plane to Hawaii.’ That was an impossibility to my mind. I’d been gorging and self-destructing at home for months, eating pizza all day. There was no way I wanted to be on film unless they shot me from the neck up. I’m sort of vain, so there was no fucking way.”

But after a close friend told her to “own my mess,” Coolidge accepted White’s offer. “I can’t tell you how close I came to ruining this whole thing for myself. It’s such a great lesson in life. I’d never have forgiven myself,” she added. To Jennifer Coolidge’s close friend, I say: thank you.

(Via the Guardian)