Category: News

Chicago trio Dehd has a big week month of them. Not only is the band slated to perform at Pitchfork Music Festival this weekend, but shortly thereafter, the band is set to debut their Flower Of Devotion Remixed album. Giving fans another taste of the upcoming project, Dehd tap fellow indie rock outfit Protomartyr to rework their 2020 track “Loner.”

For their version of the song, Protomartyr takes vocalist Emily Kempf’s lyrics and subdues them under a blanket of hypnotic chords. It’s the third remix that Dehd has shared ahead of their album’s debut, following Lala Lala’s remix of “Desire” and Physical Medium’s remix of “Flying.”

Dehd’s guitarist Jason Balla praised Protomartyr’s “badass” work in a statement alongside the new track:

“I have a suspicion that this is the most badass a Dehd song will ever sound simply because Protomartyr are so badass. They have a way of making gloomy optimism and ‘Loner’ is swimming in it. I got to tour with them a few years back and their live performances have really left an impression on me. I think it was also on this fated tour that our tour manager introduced me to the music of Detroit house producer Moodymann, which has been a big inspiration to me and to the idea of making this remix record.”

Listen to “Loner (Protomartyr Remix)” above.

Flower Of Devotion Remixed is out 9/17 via Fire Talk. Pre-order it here.

I’ll be upfront and say I didn’t watch the original Blues Clues (and its updated version), but the cultural import of it certainly seems to rival the Barney’s, Mister Rogers’, and Sesame Streets of previous generations. That’s evident from the response to the return of original host, Steve Burns, in a clip that warmed hearts (and sparked snark) yesterday to celebrate the show’s 25 year anniversary. But while the nostalgia feels propelled that success, separate and apart from that was the upbeat content and tone of the message where Steve meditated on our collective bloom into adulthood with a kind of wonder that we often forget because it’s so easy to just drown in stress and regret of it all. This got me thinking: adults deserve their own Blues Clues.

Remember the sensation of watching low-stakes kid’s shows with next to no complexity? They were mildly educational romps and adventures with larger-than-life characters and a highly positive imprint. And yeah, sure, it was lowkey moralized propaganda, but I miss it. A little. And you could say, “go watch a Marvel movie,” and sure, to an extent that’s right, but there’s always talk of global catastrophe and mass extinction. Literally, every superhero movie starts with the main characters living their lives while surrounded by loved ones. And then, like a financial earthquake, health scare, or sudden loss, they’re thrown into a fight against some kind of outsized villain or invading force who wants to wipe away their control and, by extension, their dreams.

People say stories need conflict and heroes and villains, anti-heroes and action. Sure. And we live for layered storytelling where characters navigate complex situations while primarily or secondarily commenting on the state of things. Even comedies. F*ck, I love it when Hacks talks about ageism and generation gaps, Mythic Quest explores workplace dynamics, and The Other Two goes in on social media culture and the weight of internal pressures to live up to our peers and our preprogrammed goals! But we’re also living in a moment where millions derive entertainment from Twitch streams where people passively watch others play video games, YouTube vids where people meander through an unboxing or some TV or film theory, and uncomplicated gags on TikTok reach millions. Is it possible the tenets of narrative storytelling aren’t always a perfect fit for a culture where plenty of people are content to watch cool sh*t without the ever-present weightiness or existential dread?

For a large part of the pandemic, I have spent my Saturday mornings huddled on Twitch watching old Saturday morning cartoons with friends curated by a retronaut buddy. Again, nostalgia has played a role, but the disconnect from more complex times and the embrace of innocence, overly simplistic and predictable storytelling, and silliness has been the real draw.

I get it. I’m not suggesting we all dive headlong into old episodes of Muppet Babies or Rugrats while hiding from the world all day every day. Adults, including myself, can’t unhook in totality. Why would we want to? I don’t want to be talked down to all the time, but I also don’t want to always feel like the world is on fire (even if it factually is), denying the necessary and restorative moments of awe and reflection that get drowned out by real life, the flood of hard news, true crime, grown-up drama, and heavy dramedies.

Here’s the ask: just give us 30 minutes, every week, where Steve and a dopey blue cartoon dog solve adult-relevant puzzles that double as calm, colorful, and easy-to-digest explainers on NFTs and debt consolidation… I don’t care. Just have Steve, with his soothing voice, tell us how amazing it is that we drive cars, have checking accounts, and that we’re less fat than we think we are. Remind us that 12-year-old us would probably be pretty jazzed by some of the things we get to do. Ease our pain through affirmation that feels like counter-programming by telling us that all the trying and stress is seen and that we’re doing okay, even if it’s scripted and general. Even when we aren’t. Call it an experiment and watch as we see an uptick in our self-esteem while cutting 30 minutes off our doom-scroll time. Call it a public service if nothing else.

Monkey Shoulder Blended Malt Scotch Whisky is made for mixing. Sure, you can sip it on the rocks but this really is a mixing blend — that’s where it shines the brightest. Add a little high-quality fizzy water, ice, and a squeeze of lime and you’re set — perfect highball dram.

As a brand, Monkey Shoulder aligns with having a good time while mixing up good drinks. Case in point, they just launched a sweepstake wherein their new brand champion, Joel McHale, will crash your first date — for real.

Thanks to that promo (and the fact that I have an awesome job), I got to chat with McHale about Monkey Shoulder for the latest episode of my IGTV show, Expression Session. We planned on chatting about the whisky for about ten minutes but McHale was nice enough to stay on well over our allotted time, mostly because as two guys from Seattle, we ended up shooting the shit about the Seattle Seahawks and Seattle’s music scene. Turns out we were both at the same Nirvana concert in January 1994.

You can find the whole review/chat on our Instagram channel and at the end of this review. If you want to enter to win a chance for Joel McHale to crash your date, the entry form is found here.

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of 2021

• A Blind Ranking Of Affordable Blended Scotch Whiskies
• Our Favorite Scotch Whisky At Every Price Point From $30 To $500
• We Blind Tested Blended Scotches In The $40 Range And A Clear Winner Emerged
• The Best Bottles Of Scotch Whisky Between $50-$60
• Blind Scotch Taste Test — Which 12-Year-Old Single Malt Whisky Is Best?

Monkey Shoulder Blended Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $36

The Whisky:

This Speyside blend is crafted as a workhorse whisky. The juice is drawn from the William Grant & Sons distilleries, focusing on Kininvie, Glenfiddich, and The Balvenie. The juice is then rested for up to six months after blending to let it mellow even more before proofing and bottling.

Tasting Notes:

There’s a nice welcoming note of creamy vanilla that almost becomes cream soda, next to hints of zesty orange marmalade, malts, and dark spices. The taste delivers on those notes by amping the spices up to Christmas cake territory with a slight tart berry edge next to that cream soda sweetness. The end is short and sweet with a nice lightness that really makes this very drinkable.

McHale’s succinct note: “There’s a hint of peat with a butter smoothness.”

The Bottle:

Interestingly, the bottle is the same one that Balcones uses down in Waco, Texas. It’s a sort of old-school port bottle that feels like it’d stack well under the deck of a pirate ship. The bottle is adorned with three iron monkeys and a solid cork. The label is simple and keeps to the old-school theme with a sort of old hand-written bill of sale vibe giving you just enough information to know what you’re drinking.

Bottom Line:

We often call this out as one of our favorite mixing scotches and we stand by that. It’s a very accessible and available blended malt that delivers on what it promises — to be a great mixer.

Ranking:

90/100. As a blended malt made for mixing, this is a home run.

Check out our full tasting with Joel McHale below!

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As a Drizly affiliate, Uproxx may receive a commission pursuant to certain items on this list.

In October, Los Angeles DIY project Illuminati Hotties will release their forthcoming new album, Let Me Do One More. Since the initial announcement, they’ve released album tracks “Pool Hopping,” “Mmmoooaaaaayaya,” and “Uvvp,” the latter featuring Big Thief’s Buck Meek. Now, Illuminati Hotties are back with the mild-mannered “Threatening Each Other Re: Capitalism,” which plays out much more chill than its title suggests.

“‘Threatening Each Other re: Capitalism’ makes haste of a machine by which we’ve all been fooled as well as the people who have fooled themselves into thinking they’ve not participated in it,” Tudzin said in a press release. Likewise, Tudzin recently told Rolling Stone about leaning into writing pop hooks on Let Me Do One More, saying, “I have an undying poptimism — I want to write a hook, and I want the song to feel really good when it’s on full volume in the car… And there’s also a forever emo girl inside of me that’s in my high-school bedroom, listening to Bright Eyes and writing in a diary.”

Illuminati Hotties are also about to go on tour supporting Death Cab For Cutie‘s West Coast dates in mid-September. The day after the album drops, on October 2, the Hotties will headline Zebulon in Los Angeles.

Watch the lyric video for “Threatening Each Other re: Capitalism” above and revisit our 2018 interview with Tudzin here.

Let Me Do One More is out 10/1 via Snack Shack Tracks/Hopeless Records. Pre-order it here.

The last we heard about Lana Del Rey‘s album Blue Banisters, it was supposed to drop in late July and featured some questionable and meme-worthy artwork. But after updating the LP’s cover art and postponing the release, Lana has now unveiled some concrete details about the album alongside her latest single, “Arcadia.”

Lana’s “Arcadia” track is a callback to her “Video Game” days, showcasing the singers swooning vocals over a languid piano. After sharing the single, Lana announced Blue Banisters is officially slated for an October 22 release.

In a statement alongside the album announcement, Lana noted the criticism she’s received lately:

“I guess you could say this album is about what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. If you’re interested go back and listen to the first three songs I put out earlier. They chronicle the beginning. This song hits somewhere in the middle and by the time the record drops you will hear where we’re at today.

As much as the on going criticism has been trying, it at least has pushed me to explore my own family tree, to dig deep, and to continue to exhibit the fact that God only cares about how I move through the world. And for all of the skepticism about feigning fragility and unreasonable explanations of not showing general accountability- I must say I’ve enjoyed moving through the world beautifully- as a woman with grace and dignity.

Thank you to my friends over the last 18 years who have been an example of attraction not promotion. I’ve never felt the need to promote myself or tell my story, but if you’re interested this album does tell it- and does pretty much nothing more.”

Watch Lana’s “Arcadia” video above and find her Blue Banisters album artwork and tracklist below.

1. “Textbook”
2. “Blue Banisters”
3. “Arcadia”
4. “Interlude – The Trio”
5. “Black Bathing Suit”
6. “If You Lie Down With Me”
7. “Beautiful”
8. “Violets For Roses”
9. “Dealer”
10. “Thunder”
11. “Wildflower Wildfire”
12. “Nectar Of The Gods”
13. “Living Legend”
14. “Cherry Blossom”
15. “Sweet Carolina”

Blue Banisters is out 10/22 via Universal. Pre-order it here.

The View kicked off its 25th season this week, and if you’re wondering how things are going without conservative co-host Meghan McCain: pretty great! Despite McCain’s absence, the daytime talk show has continued to trend on social media for its first two episodes. Although, part of that reason can be attributed to McCain. Turns out people are loving that she’s gone and can’t stop tweeting about how much calmer the show is without her.

“Gosh it’s 30 mins into #TheView and I don’t have a headache.. or stomach pains.. or veins popping out.. or have to drink an bottle of [wine] to get through the rest of the show,” one viewer tweeted on Tuesday. “@TheView is great again.. thank goodness..”

“#TheView sounds like a real show,” Twitter user Tammi tweeted. “The vibe is more relaxed. Steve Martin has made an appearance. Life is good.”

As for finding McCain’s replacement, The View is reportedly pumping on the brakes on trying to fill her seat at the end of the table. The show has a series of guest hosts lined up while producers search for the right woman for the job. Via PEOPLE:

“This is such an important seat for us to fill at the table so we’re going to ‘take a little time’ to make sure we find the right fit,” [executive producer Brian Teta] said in a statement. “It goes back to Barbara Walters’ original direction – different women with different views. It’s essential that the audience can relate to different points of View at our table.”

In the meantime, the viewers don’t seem to mind that The View hasn’t found a permanent replacement for Meghan yet. As you can tell by the reactions below, they’re just happy that she’s gone.

(Via PEOPLE)

After experimenting with a variety of styles and impressive song structures on their early EPs, North Carolina trio Jail Socks significantly up the ante on their debut album Coming Down. Across eleven tracks, Jail Socks toy with the many different stylistic impulses that come with the “emo” genre card, cycling through elements of buzzy power pop, melodic pop punk, and heavy post-hardcore. It’s a very impressive entry from the band, one that will certainly break through the noise and build a lot of good will for the band.

To celebrate the new album, the trio sat down to talk The Front Bottoms, American Pie, and more in the latest Indie Mixtape 20 Q&A.

What are four words you would use to describe your music?

energetic, melodic, moody, tight.

It’s 2050 and the world hasn’t ended and people are still listening to your music. How would you like it to be remembered?

we would like to be remembered for having paid homage to 90’s 00’s emo and pop punk!

What’s your favorite city in the world to perform?

Columbia, SC!

Who’s the person who has most inspired your work, and why?

if it weren’t for james hetfield I would not have picked up a guitar.

Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

Taco Bell in Bowling Green OH where we bought 17 of the same $1 menu items

What album do you know every word to?

Third Eye Blind self-titled.

What was the best concert you’ve ever attended?

Metallica 2014 Montreal.

What is the best outfit for performing and why?

Shorts and sleeveless tee. Fully aerodynamic and considerably less sweaty. Swim cap as a bonus

Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?

Eric from Heart Attack Man.

What’s your most frequently played song in the van on tour?

Third Eye Blind – “Never Let You Go”

What’s the last thing you Googled?

is Yerba mate straight edge.

What album makes for the perfect gift?

Descendents- Milo Goes To College.

Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever crashed while on tour?

We met someone who let us stay at his wealthy parents’ house and we each had our own bedroom.

What’s the story behind your first or favorite tattoo?

Unfortunately when I was 16 my mother signed off on me getting a front bottoms tattoo. Wish she wasn’t so cool.

What artists keep you from flipping the channel on the radio?

Nickelback.

What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

Jake Sulzer signing us to Counter Intuitive.

What’s one piece of advice you’d go back in time to give to your 18-year-old self?

Don’t get a second Front Bottoms tattoo.

What’s the last show you went to?

DIY super bowl Carly Cosgrove, Blue Deputy, Oolong, Guitar Fight From Fooly Cooly, Ogbert The Nerd.

What movie can you not resist watching when it’s on TV?

American Pie.

What would you cook if Obama were coming to your house for dinner?

Morningstar chicken nuggets.

Coming Down is out now via Counter Intuitive Records. Listen above and pre-order the vinyl here.

By the time Nike sneaker designer Tinker Hatfield gave the world the Jordan V he was, like Jordan himself, operating at the top of his game. If the world of ‘90s basketball was dominated by Michael Jordan — and it was, there’s no doubt about that — the sneaker world had no bigger star than Hatfield. By 1990, Nike’s most famed designer already had the Air Max, Air Trainer, Jordan III, and Jordan IV under his belt, but with the V he would take things to the next level by introducing brand new design elements that radically reimagined the look of the Air Jordan from its first iterations.

The Air Jordan V ushered in a new decade — look no further than Nike’s primary cultural ambassador this time around. Rather than Spike Lee, the most visible V wearer besides MJ himself was ’90s icon Will Smith, who rocked several legendary pairs throughout the run of Fresh Prince of the Bel Air. This was the shoe that proved Jordans could stay young even as their namesake matured and offered the first hints that the shoe line was a brand unto itself.

Unlike the Jordan IV, which was a subtle iteration on the III — which itself is indebted to the often-overlooked II, designed by Jordan I designer Peter Moore — the V gave Hatfield a chance to design a sneaker that was completely original and all his own. What we got was a stylishly bulky silhouette with a distinct asymmetrical collar, a reflective tongue, translucent rubber soles, lace locks, and a World War II Era fighter plane-inspired design. With its jagged shark tooth midsole, the Jordan V looks ready to attack. It’s the only Jordan design that truly captures Jordan’s aggressive court style and, for that reason alone, it’s a classic.

In celebration of this legendary sneaker, we’re running through the greatest Jordan V colorways to ever release in the shoe’s 31-year history. Check them out, in chronological order, below.

Air Jordan V Fire Red, 1990

When Nike launched the Air Jordan V they did so by releasing one of the silhouette’s best colorways, the Fire Red. 31 years later and this sneaker still looks amazing. The Fire Red features a premium white leather upper with a silver reflective tongue and Nike branding at the heel. Our favorite details of this colorway are the red shark tooth pattern at the heel and that icy blue translucent rubber outsole that the sneaker sits on, which features a hidden Jumpman logo underfoot.

Last year, Nike dropped a retro rerelease of this colorway and it predictably sold out in an instant. But that just means it’s easier to get than ever on aftermarket sites.

Pick up the 2020 retro rerelease at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Grape, 1990

The Fire Red may be the most iconic Jordan V but our favorite is easily the Grape. Released as one of the original four colorways, the Grape is the pair popularized by the Fresh Prince, and its combination of white leather, black, New Emerald, and Grape has got to be the most quintessential ’90s color combo of all time.

Rounding out the design is a subtle blue outsole and a teal shark tooth pattern with a matching Jumpman logo lurking beneath.

Pick up the 2013 retro rerelease at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Metallic Silver, 1990

Fire red accents meet an icy blue outsole in the Air Jordan V Metallic Silver. Featuring a nubuck black upper with a cookies-and-cream-esque speckled shark tooth pattern, the Metallic Silver sports a reflective tongue, courtesy of 3M, and oozes stealthy cool.

It’s not quite as iconic as the other debut colorways, but it’s hard not to love this pair. It’s brimming with attitude.

The Air Jordan V Metallic Silver’s last retro release was in 2016. Pick up a pair on aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Laney, 2000

With the Air Jordan V’s debut colorways being as strong as they were, it was hard for Nike to compete with itself. Flash forward a decade into the future and we finally hit a new notable colorway for the design, 2000’s Laney.

Featuring a colorway that paid homage to Jordan’s Wilmington, North Carolina EA Laney High School colors, the Laney sports a pristine white leather upper with Varsity Maize and Royal Blue accents, and an embroidered 23 at the heel.

If you’re a fan of this design, be sure to check out the inverted “Away” game colorway, it’s almost as good.

The Laney was last retro’d in 2013, pick up an aftermarket pair at GOAT.

Air Jordan V White Metallic, 2000

Nike has a tendency to release a legendary colorway — like ’90s Metallic for instance — and then flip some colors around and try to resell it to us as a play on a fan favorite. It doesn’t always work but ‘00s White Metallic is an exception.

A radical flip on the OG Metallic Silver, the White Metallic features an all-white upper, a silver embroidered 23 logo at the heel, with a matching metallic sharktooth pattern which looks great coupled with that icy blue outsole. It’s just as good as the OG colorway it’s indebted to.

Pick up a pair of Air Jordan V White Metallic at GOAT.

Air Jordan V Army Olive, 2006

The Air Jordan V is one of the few Jordan silhouettes that looks just as good in suede as it does leather, ‘06s Olive being a prime example. Featuring an earthy suede green upper with bright orange accents, a metallic silver tongue, and see-through lace toggles, the Olive has a utilitarian vibe that makes the V look as fit for hiking as it is on the court.

Pick up a pair of the Air Jordan V Olive at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Green Bean, 2006

There are a lot of great Jordan V colorways out there, so much that it was difficult to limit this list to just 25. Had we left of ‘06s Green Bean, sneakerheads everywhere would’ve never let us hear the end of it. It’s easy to see why — the Green Bean is one of the best Jordan colorways of all time. Of any of the models!

Featuring a reflective 3M upper, the Green Bean features a pale green collar with a matching Jumpman tongue logo and shark tooth pattern.

The Air Jordan V Green Bean can be picked up on aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Deep Burgundy, 2006

You’re about to witness how powerful a year ’06 was for the Jordan V. The same year that gave us the Green Bean also gave us the Deep Burgundy, a beautiful full suede makeup with gray contrast stitching, matching laces and sharkteeth, and a reflective silver tongue.

The silvery and gray accents look especially great contrasting against the moodier burgundy suede upper.

Pick up a pair of Deep Burgundy Vs at aftermarket sites like StockX.

WMNS Air Jordan V Stealth, 2006

This year, Nike has done a great job of making up for all the years they ignored female sneakerheads. Things weren’t always this way — with WMNS-exclusive Jordan drops — which makes 2006 all the more surprising because the brand managed to deliver a couple of WMNS-size exclusives that rival the best colorways that ever graced this silhouette.

It’s hard to get much better than the Stealth, which combines a Shy Pink sharktooth patterning and collar, with a 3M reflective tongue and a clean silver nubuck upper. Nike not delivering more Shy Pink detailed Jordans should be a crime!

Pick up a pair of Stealth Air Jordan Vs at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Women’s Sunset, 2006

2006 — need we say more? If the WMNS exclusive Stealth colorway didn’t blow you away, prepare to feast your eyes on ‘06s other big WMNS exclusive, the Sunset. Featuring a white leather upper with a silver reflective tongue, translucent net paneling, and a sunset-esque shark tooth detail, the Sunset sits atop a bright scarlet outsole.

It’s a loud design that demands to be seen and it’s one of the AJ V’s best.

Pick up a pair of the WMNS Air Jordan V Sunset at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Black University Blue, 2006

Every Jordan has a UNC colorway, but the V is the only one that combines University Blue with black. Generally, the UNC features a white and blue makeup and while that’s a classic look it’s hard to deny that the Black UNC looks amazing. Maybe even better?! So uh, Nike, if you can get on giving us Black UNCs for every Jordan model, we’d appreciate that. (They’ll never do it though, Nike hates making money the easy way, so we’ll probably get another Travis Scott sneaker nobody asked for.)

Featuring a black nubuck upper with Carolina blue stitching, clear lace locks, and a white sharktooth design, the Black UNC is easily in the top five when it comes to the V’s best colorways.

Pick up an Air Jordan V Black UNC at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V RA Laser, 2007

Like the Jordan IV before it, the V received a laser-etched design that dropped in 2007. Featuring a white leather upper with a swirling army olive laser-etched pattern, Solar Orange accents, and a speckled sharktooth design, the RA Laser is a double-dip on the proceeding year’s Olive colorway with a few alterations that manage to make it look more like art than a functional piece of footwear.

We’d wear the heck out of it though. Check out that patterned collar! It’s begging to be paired with the right socks.

Grab the Air Jordan V RA Laser at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Motosports, 2008

If you missed that classic UNC University Blue and white color combo, don’t worry, it’s still alive and well in the Jordan V Motorsports. Originally released as a Friends & Family only colorway given to Jordan’s often-forgotten racing team, we considered leaving the Motorsports off of this list since it was never commercially available but… look at this thing!

It’s hard not to instantly fall in love with it. The Motorsports features a white leather upper, 3M tongue, and University Blue accents.

We’d love to link you to a pair, but they pretty much don’t exist on the aftermarket, and if they do it’s for a prohibitive price. Hopefully, Nike wakes up and drops a new refresh for the wider public.

Air Jordan V Raging Bull, 2009

If the Raging Bull is looking familiar to you, it’s because it’s one of the retro colorways that dropped this year. So for those holding out on a re-release of the Motorsports, there is still hope — last year no one would imagine they’d be able to get their hands on this pair again.

Originally released in 2009 alongside a less notable black make-up, the Raging Bull features a premium suede Varsity Red upper, black accents, a reflective silver tongue, and sits atop a polyurethane midsole. The sneaker’s most notable detail is the red-tipped white shark teeth, which is the most threatening use of two colors we’ve ever seen on a Jordan.

Pick up the Air Jordan V Raging Bull on aftermarket sites like Flight Club. It’s probably the cheapest and most accessible legendary Jordan V colorway you can get your hands on.

Air Jordan V Cinder, 2009

Just when it feels like you’ve seen every color combination of the Jordan V, here comes the Cinder which somehow combines black and white in a way we haven’t seen yet on this silhouette. Featuring a white patent leather upper, black contrast stitching, and a camouflage collar, the Cinder actually manages to swap out the reflective silver tongue that shows up on so many models for a brown earthy make-up, and it grounds the design in an interesting way.

The Cinder looks like it can’t decide between being something you wear while walking down a busy city street, or amongst the trees at your favorite hiking trail. So why not both? We’ll take it!

Grab a pair of Air Jordan V Cinders at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Tokyo, 2011

The Air Jordan V Tokyo is so beloved that it ranks right up there with colorways like the Fire Red, UNC, and Grape, despite not being a classic that has been utilized on earlier Jordan models. It’s rare that a brand new colorway rises above the classics but the Tokyo still looks so damn cool 10 years after its original release.

Dropped in celebration of Jordan’s Tokyo 23 store in Japan, the Tokyo features a yellow suede upper with Wolf Grey Accents, a speckled shark tooth design, and a Japanese Kanji 23 embroidered near the heel.

The Air Jordan V Tokyo can still be found on aftermarket sites like GOAT for a very high price. We’d suggest waiting for the eventual retro re-release.

Air Jordan V Wolf Grey, 2011

What I love about the Wolf Grey Jordan V is the shoe’s dusty graphite makeup, it looks like someone sketched it in an art class! With a white speckled midsole, icy translucent outsoles, and nubuck upper, the Wolf Grey is another utilitarian design for the V, but unlike the outdoorsy Olive, the Wolf Grey looks fit for the garage. Like it’s meant to get dirty.

Pick up a pair of Wolf Grey Jordan Vs at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Doernbecher Isaac Arzate, 2012

Made in collaboration with the Portland-based Doernbecher Children’s Hospital as part of the Doernbecher Freestyle Program, this blacklight glowing design was brought to us by late patient Isaac Arzate. All of the Doernbecher Jordan’s are so good that you could make a whole list about them but the Isaac Arzate rises above the rest.

It’s incredibly dope thanks to a polished black leather upper, blacklight-activated lettering that reveals a poem written by Arzate before his passing, and an icy blue outsole with a pure white shark tooth. One of the greatest Jordan colorways of all time.

Pick up a pair at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Shanghai Shen, 2013

Released as a Chinese market exclusive, those with a keen eye will notice that the Shanghai Shen is a remixed take on the Laney colorway, with a black synthetic nubuck upper in place of the Laney’s white leather. Bright blue and yellow accents round out this design, which features a yellow-speckled blue shark tooth, blue embroidered Jumpman, and a medallion in place of the sneaker’s usual embroidered 23 logo.

Pick up a pair of the Shanghai Shen at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Black Grape, 2013

You could make the argument that the Black Grape is actually superior to the OG Grape. I won’t make it, because I’m torn on whether or not that’s true, but it’s hard not to fall in love with the Black Grape instantly.

While the combination of New Emerald and Grape doesn’t quite scream “1990” like the OG, that’s not necessarily a bad thing! Instead of white leather, this design features a black nubuck upper with a translucent lace lock and an icy blue outsole. If we had to rank these sneakers choosing between this and the OG Grape for the top spot would have us going back and forth constantly. Thankfully, we’re not doing that today so here it is chilling somewhere in the middle of the list, gloriously unranked!

Grab a pair of the Jordan V Black Grape at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Fab Five, 2017

A sneaker designed for fans of the Michigan Wolverines, the Air Jordan V Fab Five is a collaboration between Hatfield and Dan Sunwoo who pay tribute to the Fab Five ‘90s team which consisted of Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King, Ray Jackson, and Chris Webber.

The Fab Five resembles the Tokyo thanks to its yellow and black colorway, but with a few subtle differences like an inverted speckled shark tooth, an embroidered ‘M’ in place of the Jumpman logo to rep Michigan, and stitching on the tongue labels reading “Hail To” and “The Victors.”

Unfortunately, the Fab Five is currently unavailable on the aftermarket, but that just means Nike will eventually rerelease this design and probably ditch that embroidered ‘M’ which is only going to result in a better design. No shade to Michigan.

Air Jordan V Trophy Room Ice Blue, 2019

The Trophy Room Ice Blue makeup of the Jordan V is probably still fresh in your memory considering it dropped back in 2019. It’s not like any big life events have happened since 2019 that would cause you to forget about a shoe right? Oh… wait.

Because this sneaker dropped in 2019 a little bit before we entered this life in lockdown we’ve been living, we probably haven’t even had the opportunity to see these babies out in the wild, which is a shame because it’s one of the best. Featuring an ice blue suede upper with University Red details, this is the only Jordan V with an upper that matches the outsole.

That’s a design decision we need to see more of with this silhouette, please give us more matching outsoles on the V Nike!

Pick up a pair of Jordan V Trophy Room Ice Blues for a very high price at aftermarket sites like GOAT. But because this sneaker is currently so expensive, we’re going to suggest waiting on this one until prices drop.

Air Jordan V Alternate Bel-Air, 2020

I’m probably going to get a lot of lip from angry Jordan heads for including last year’s alternate Bel-Air colorway instead of the 2013 original, but this one is just so much better. Making a Jordan V colorway that pays tribute to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air makes sense, it’s a nice little feedback loop, but the OG Bel-Air featured way too much purple, looking less like a ‘90s classic and more like… Barney the dinosaur.

The Alternate Bel-Air remedies that by ditching the purple upper for white leather and keeping the more radical colors on the sidelines. Somehow this sneaker manages to look more ‘90s than even the Grape, just peep that hot pink patterned collar and Jumpman logo, and those neon green accents.

Pick up a pair of Alternate Bel-Air Jordan Vs at aftermarket sites like GOAT at a very reasonable price.

Off-White Air Jordan V Muslin, 2020

It’s hard to best a design by Tinker Hatfield but damn it if Off-White’s Virgil Abloh isn’t going to try! The Off-White Air Jordan V with its peek-through upper windows, oversized tongue, and pre-yellowed translucent outsole is… interesting to say the least. It’s only getting a spot on our list because it manages to do the impossible — reimagine a perfect design.

Whether or not it accomplishes that redesign is up to you but many seemed to have thought it did as the design sold out nearly instantly. My only gripe is in the decision to utilize a pre-yellowed outsole. The way the original fades in a disgusting yellow was not a desired feature of the original design, unless your name is Virgil Abloh of course.

Grab a pair of Off-White Air Jordan V Muslins at aftermarket sites like GOAT.

Air Jordan V Oreo (2013)/ Moonlight (2021)

Originally released in 2013, we’re happy to report that one of the best Jordan colorways is about to reenter the scene under a different name. The Oreo, which is now being called the Moonlight for some reason — which is a better but less memorable name — is set to drop at the end of this month and features a black suede upper with TPU eyelets, translucent netting, and a black and white speckled shark tooth that sits atop a pure white midsole. It looks like you’re wearing the universe on your feet.

It’s beautiful and shockingly you have the opportunity to pick this one up for a retail price of $190. That’s easily the cheapest Jordan V colorway on this massive list!

Pick up a pair of Jordan V Moonlight (Oreo if you’re nostalgic) via the Nike SNKRS app on September 25th.

As the female rap renaissance continues, much of the discussion around the burgeoning explosion in female talent in rap has revolved around their reception by hip-hop’s perceived majority male fanbase. In July, Doja Cat pointed out how female rappers are viewed as “less than smart,” while Cardi B, Latto, and Megan Thee Stallion have all addressed a feeling that they’re disrespected more than men while being expected to do twice as much. Now, from another corner of hip-hop world, Noname joins the growing chorus of voices speaking out against this negative perception while defending her contemporaries’ content.

Noname’s comments came as she refuted a fan’s assertion that “most of the female rappers out now sucks [sic].” “We are currently in the most commercialized era of rap,” she began. “lyrical content + brand presentation will usually reflect what the consumer (majority white) finds the most titillating, violence and sex. most rappers regardless of gender (which is a construct) rap about the same things.”

She continued in a separate tweet in the thread, “this is what mainstream black art looks like under capitalism. either way most women rapping are technically just as skilled as their male contemporaries, if not better. and i would argue all of them are better entertainers.”

She was also forced to circle back on an old talking point when one fan pointed out their misunderstanding of Noname’s assertion that most rap consumers are white. “White consumption of black art and black bodies is largely why mainstream rap exists as it does, “she explained. “You all are the largest consumers of rap in this country. beyond that, white label executives and radio owners ultimately decide which rappers the masses are exposed to.” Noname previously made similar points when she said she didn’t want to perform for mostly white audiences anymore.

Ever since Drake first exploded onto the mainstream stage in 2009 with his groundbreaking EP So Far Gone, he’s been a magnet for capital-D Discourse, as fans struggle to hash out his place in the rap world and whether or not there’s any deeper meaning behind his existence.

To those people, I say: “Give it a rest.”

Pardon me for getting meta for a bit, but the album cycle for Drake’s new album, Certified Lover Boy, has just been exhausting — and for me, it has only highlighted the many, many shortcomings of the way we talk about albums in the social media/streaming era.

As for the album itself, it’s, well, a Drake album. It’s by turns boastful and maudlin, filled to the brim with vapid, faux soul-searching and spite for exes, and features all the exuberance and sonic scene sampling you’ve come to expect from The Boy. The standouts highlight his self-awareness (“I’m Too Sexy” featuring Future and Young Thug features a Right Said Fred interpolation so on-the-nose, you wonder how any of them can draw breath to utter their tongue-in-cheek rhymes), Drake offers up a plethora (nay, an entire encyclopedia) of caption-able, petty, passive-aggressive Drake-isms (“Girls Want Girls” and its infamous “lesbian” line), and the producers craft the inescapably catchy, murky soundscapes that have been his signature since ’09 (“TSU” is a favorite).

Either this stuff works for you or it doesn’t. No amount of flowery language or bullying will cajole you into changing your opinion — and maybe that’s the problem. It’s more of the disposable, pleasant, middle-of-the-road pop-rap of the type Drake perhaps had the biggest hand in popularizing — why can’t that be enough?

Because it hasn’t seemed to be enough to just enjoy the biggest rap albums of the day lately. No, having a Take has become paramount to having an opinion and you absolutely must have a Take about everything all at once. So much of the initial response to Drake’s release has focused on its relation to another album that came out recently: Kanye West’s much-hyped Donda. From the respective rollouts to speculative “beef” between the two former collaborators to comparing their streaming numbers less than a week since the release of Certified Lover Boy, so little of the discussion focuses on the music that it almost feels like the music itself is just an afterthought.

Within moments of CLB dropping on streaming services (shortly after an announcement that it would arrive later than usual — a seemingly pointed jab at Kanye’s inevitable tardiness), fans were already calling it album of the year, a classic, trash, or comparing it to Kendrick Lamar’s as-yet-unannounced follow-up to DAMN. Mind you, these were people who couldn’t possibly have listened to much more than the first song or two before making such pronouncements. Hyperbolic or facetious as they may have been, they added more fuel to the dumpster fire that is rap discourse.

Picking a side and adamantly defending it is the stuff of Stan wars on Twitter but it is utterly bonkers behavior to me. I’ve always thought that if people needed competition so badly they could join an adult league. They have those for just about any sport, game, or hobby you can think of, and it would be infinitely healthier than arguing with strangers on the internet about something that is just supposed to be entertaining.

Meanwhile, there are so many tweets and essays and reviews and think pieces about why Drake needs to talk about something else other than women who’ve hurt him. Why? That’s like, the overwhelming majority of what pop music has focused on for the last fifty years. I’d rather see some acknowledgment given to Drake’s nods to the breadth of that history, his efforts to preserve and highlight regional heroes like Project Pat and Ron C (sampled on “TSU,” prompting an outcry because of the prosaic ways copyright law forced an R. Kelly songwriting credit into a song that doesn’t feature R. Kelly in any significant way). That’s needed; just see the way “Who is Project Pat?” inflamed and informed the discussion for a few hours after the album’s release.

Drake’s songwriting is staid? Okay. “Race My Mind” is about a booty call, absolutely, but the song is constructed around a deft Rick James reference. “Give It TO Me Baby” is as old as Drake himself; this subject isn’t new or unique to him. If anything, it’s timeless, and has been relatable since before drunk texting was even a possibility — a possibility Drake uses his songwriting to reflect, because songwriters talk about the world around them. It doesn’t even have to be recent or even Drake talking about himself at all! The assumption that it is shows how much we limit writers, especially those in rap, to autobiography. It’s also pretty telling that when it comes to rap, we default to “beef” and “keeping it real” — constructs that are intrinsic to hip-hop culture, yes, but seemingly exaggerated and constraining when applied to every single major release. These storylines keep popping up in relation to rap and rappers and I think that says a lot about how we see the people most associated with the music.

A friend pointed out on Twitter that at some point, analysis became punditry, and nothing has backed up that argument like the way the Discourse surrounding major releases has devolved into a repetition of the same tired Twitter tropes. There’s no digging, there’s little appreciation, and we seemingly can’t even agree to disagree without things getting contentious. When everybody is competing to have the “most woke” outlook, you can’t help but have these ostensibly progressive debates about representation of women on these albums that actually flatten and denigrate much-needed discussions. (Why are we counting? What’s the correct quota of female features? Why do the women need the approval of or cosigns from these overgrown manchildren in the first place?).

It’d be great if music was just fun again. Or if, instead of feeling like we all have to weigh in on the biggest names, we could plug our favorite alternatives. Little Simz dropped a truly fantastic project the same day as Certified Lover Boy. What if all those people who want to hear more women’s voices in rap supported that album instead of arguing all day about whether Certified Lover Boy was “better” than Donda or insisting that Kendrick Lamar would blow both out of the water? The most frustrating part is that, in reading Drake’s Apple Music description of his latest album, it became really obvious (if it wasn’t already from the ridiculous album cover and the month of back-and-forth trolling between him and Kanye) that he’s been in on the joke the entire time. We should be laughing along, not getting mad because he gave us exactly what we want.

Certified Lover Boy is out now via OVO/Republic Records. Get it here.