Category: News

If measured by total ccs of tears shed, this week’s Top Chef was the greatest Top Chef episode of all time. The crying, my God, the crying. If crying was bread, this episode would’ve been a Panzanella. And all of it because of what the contestants discovered about themselves while trying to please a persnickety supermodel with their elaborate fricassees. HAS THE CRUDO DISPLEASED YOU, MY QUEEN? SPARE MY LIFE AND I SHALL REDEEM YOU!

I don’t think that I’ve ever seen so many people crying without feeling at all moved to cry myself — maybe footage from a North Korean funeral procession. That being said, this had to be one of the most entertaining Top Chef episodes of all time. There have been times in the past few years when I wondered whether this show (now in its 18th season) and this column along with it needed to continue existing. But at some point during this week’s episode it dawned on me that Top Chef really is the only cooking competition show in existence that offers exciting action but doesn’t make me feel like an idiot for watching it.

Maybe it’s because they’re not trying to whip up the studio audience into a frenzy. Top Chef never feels like it’s playing to the cheap seats. It’s ridiculous and absurd at times, because how could a cooking contest not be? And all the people in it — both contestants and judges — know full well how silly it is, but they’re all food people at heart so they can’t help but buy-in. Anyway, this episode, for all its unnecessary tears, kind of reminded me why I still love this dumb show.

PROLOGUE:

Byron defeated Sara in Last Chance Kitchen, saving us from being subjected to any more of Sara’s increasingly desperate-sounding nervous laugh. That thing has really kicked into overdrive on Last Chance Kitchen. I get an awkwardness contact high just from watching it. Then Jamie beat Byron in a head-to-head battle to keep him from returning to the show (and to some extent, nullifying Last Chance Kitchen‘s entire reason for existence in the process). Okay, you’re caught up.

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The episode began with a Quickfire Challenge, employing a gimmick apparently borrowed from the French version of Top Chef. It was called a “black box challenge,” where the contestants split into teams of two (judge Brooke Williamson had to be on one team since there were only five competitors left) and had to go taste a dish inside a completely dark room. One chef had to taste the dish in the dark, then start cooking. Then when their time was up, they had to stop cooking while a teammate got to go into the box to taste the dish and continue cooking — and they couldn’t communicate. In the last five minutes, they got to see the dish and work together. The goal was to replicate the same dish.

Turns out those snail-eating Jerry Lewis lovers have some good TV ideas from time to time — because this challenge turned out to be entertaining as hell. It was also a bit of a chef flex, because, holy shit, how many people on Earth could identify a carrot-mustard puree on the bottom of a plate in the dark like Dawn did? Insane. Gabe even correctly identified a sauce gribiche, which is some kind of hard-boiled egg thing. Biche, what? This was wizardry.

After that, the contestants got together to open care packages from their families. Now, there are few stock reality show moments that I’m more tired of seeing than the de rigueur person-cries-while-thinking-about-their-family scene. At a certain point, TV producers decided that the best way to humanize their characters was to show them caring (or pretending to care) about their families. Maybe this makes me a monster, but I don’t really care about these people being human. Fixer Upper dedicates at least four minutes of screen time every episode to Chip and Joanna performatively parenting and it’s always like, hey, cut to the shiplap reveal, freaks, no one watches this show for your dumb wiener kids.

Thankfully, Top Chef is an extremely minor offender in this regard. Yes, everyone had to have a good cry (you get emotional when stuck in a reality show petri dish, I get it) but the idea was that everyone’s family sent them a care package, and they’d have to incorporate some of the ingredients into a dish. This led to, yes, boo hoo I love my family-wamily, but also some odd and funny reveals. Like finding out that Jamie’s Vietnamese family loves Jewish food. And Shota’s amazing commentary on his care package. “My note is very short. My family is Asian, so.”

Meanwhile, judge Ed Lee showed up dressed as his take on Carmen Sandiego:

Look at him back there, trying to be sly. You can’t fool us, bro. You’re in Portland.

The wildest thing was that this episode was incredibly entertaining despite turning out exactly the way I imagined. This season has been the easiest rankings I’ve ever done.

RESULTS:

Quickfire Winner: Dawn.

Elimination Challenge Top Three: Shota, Dawn, Gabe*. (*winner)

RANKINGS:

5. (even) ((Eliminated)) Maria Mazon

AKA: Gas Can. Backdraft. James Brown. Mole Maria. Mexican Hot Sauce.

Maria has been a gritty competitor all season, lunchpaling her way all the way to the final five (how many Wes Welker clichés can I use here?). But her journey finally came to an end this week. The quickfire challenge seemed to foreshadow Maria’s exit when she incorrectly imagined some kind of eastern spice on the squab (it was actually squab with roasted carrots, grilled pears, carrot-mustard puree, pistachios, and sauce gribiche) and attempted to recreate it with butter and cream then dunking the whole already-cooked squab in it. The audience was confused.

She also forgot how to butcher a squab. This seemed to mark Maria as out of her depth, but reality check: do I care if my Mexican chef knows how to butcher a squab? Absolutely not. Honestly, it’d probably make me trust them a little less.

Maria’s Care Package:

• Chicken Wings
• Coconut Milk
• Fideos (angel hair pasta broken up into smaller pieces)
• Lemons
• Mexican Hot Sauce* (how the hell didn’t I think of this as a nickname?)
• Octopus
• Pho Noodles
• Potato Chips
• Tequila

Out of this random as hell basket, Maria made a saucy chicken wing over a bean sprout salad. It ended up being the bean sprouts that did her in, probably on account of bean sprouts are, along with jicama and water chestnuts, one of those ingredients that don’t taste like anything. They don’t shoot or score many points, but they’re the Dennis Rodmans of being crunchy. (Except without the defense… or the flair… you know what, fine, this analogy sucks but I’m leaving it anyway).

Gail Simmons even accused Maria of serving “boiled chicken wings,” which was bizarre because you could clearly see the char on them, but the injustice of the criticism didn’t really register because we all sort of knew that either Maria or Jamie was going home this episode. Maria had a nice cry about learning to believe in herself and calling Gabe her mentor, and it was very sweet until Jamie tried to muscle in on the crying action and attempted to self-sacrifice to keep Maria in the competition. That went on a little too long, but God bless Maria for doing her best to try to get Jamie to stop carrying on.

Pour a little sauce out for Maria as she hits the dusty trail back to taco town.

Notable Critique: “There’s no acid at all in this salad.”

4. (even) Jamie Tran

Aka: Splat. Police Academy. Womp Womp. Hello Kitty.

Oh, Jamie. She means well. Jamie got so caught up in all the crying and the journeying of self-discovery this week that when the judges eliminated Maria, Jamie begged them to take her instead. It was a sweet gesture, sort of, but also… What? That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

It brought us all back to Padma’s initial reaction to Jamie in the first episode:

Jamie was on the chopping block on account of serving her tasty brisket with shitty rice and a few dots of half-assed sauce. For Maria to get eliminated before Jamie, that must’ve been some bomb-ass brisket. (Food hot take: for as much as we love to fetishize hipster grill masters and 18-hour smoked bbq brisket, is brisket actually better braised? Discuss).

Jamie’s Basket:

• Brisket
• Challah Bread
• Chicken Wings
• Corned Beef Hash (!!!)
• Cucumbers
• English Muffins
• Jasmine Rice
• Matzo Ball Soup
• Strawberries
• Thai Chilis

To be fair to Jamie, this was an incredibly strange basket.

Notable Critique: “The rice was like Jamie’s salad.”

3. (even) Shota Nakajima

AKA: Beavis. Big Gulps.

At this point I think Shota would be on my Mount Rushmore of most likable Top Chef competitors, up there with Sheldon “Shel Chillverstein” Simeon, Isaac “Peppah!” Toups, Chris “Silky” Scott, and Fatima Ali (RIP). His chillbro positivity pairs perfectly with the rigid perfectionism of Japanese cuisine. Once again this week, Shota created a dish that looked good as hell: a wagyu steak with matsutake puree and bonito flakes. Simple, refined, delicious.

And yet again, he was overshadowed by Gabe and Dawn. With his consistent competence you can’t count Shota out, but it does seem like Gabe and Dawn have higher ceilings.

Shota’s Basket:

• Black Cod
• Bonito Flakes
• Daikon
• Lotus Root
• Kelp
• Miso
• Persimmon
• Sake
• Wagyu
• Matsutake Mushrooms

This was probably the best basket.

Notable Critique: “I think it showed him beautifully.”

2. (even) Gabe Erales

AKA: Good Gabe. Canelo. Fozzy. The Foz. The Masa Father. Jamón.

There was some stiff competition from Dawn and Shota this episode, but Gabe’s panucho was so good that I thought they were going to have to send out a PA with a mop bucket to clean up Dale Talde’s cum. (Too gross for food show rankings? maybe). The judges ran out of superlatives for Gabe in this episode. He also managed to correctly identify sauce gribiche in the quickfire challenge and smartly overruled Shota’s incorrect identification of multiple proteins. I don’t know if Gabe’s best is as good as Dawn’s best, but he definitely seems to be peaking at the right time.

Gabe’s Basket:

• Achiote
• Bay Leaves
• Chile Ancho
• Corn Masa
• Lime
• Mezcal
• Pork Shoulder
• Pork Skin
• Tomatillos

Okay, I take it back, this basket is every bit as consistent as Shota’s.

Notable Critique: “I think this was Gabe’s best dish this season.”

1. (even) Dawn Burrell

AKA: Hothead. ‘Sheed. Legs. Breaking Dawn. Milk Carton. The Sphynx. Zeus. Flamethrower.

Do I need to justify Dawn as my number one after being edged out by Gabe in the elimination challenge this episode? Well, she made the top three even while handicapping herself by forgetting the red-eye gravy on three of her plates, and she was the only competitor to correctly identify a carrot-mustard puree in a dish with five or six other components in the quickfire, which is so good it deserves another mention. Also, her pork belly with yams and pecans looked incredible.

Forgetting a component of her dish at a climactic moment was a bit concerning, given her history with this kind of thing in the first few episodes. Still, Dawn has the most wins this season and seems unbeatable when she’s at her best. But will she be at her best??? I can’t wait to find out.

Dawn’s Basket:

• Beets
• Beer
• Black-Eyed Peas
• Brisket
• Carrots
• Coffee
• Collard Greens
• Pork Belly
• Texas Pecans

What makes a “Texas pecan” different from a regular pecan? I imagine that they’re bigger and can never shut the fuck up about it.

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Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

Game 2 of the second round series between the Brooklyn Nets and the Milwaukee Bucks was not competitive, as the Nets led by as many as 49 points and cruised to a win that gave them a 2-0 series edge. As such, the Bucks faced an immense sense of urgency in Thursday’s Game 3 in what amounted to a must-win situation. While it was far from pretty, Milwaukee managed to secure their first victory of the series, outlasting Brooklyn by a three-point margin to climb back into the series.

At the outset, the Bucks threw an opening haymaker that put them in a favorable position. Milwaukee scored the first nine points and, with the Nets failing to score until the 8:07 mark (missing seven straight shots), the Bucks eventually pushed their lead to 16-4 in the opening minutes.

After the Nets stabilized, at least to some degree, the Bucks had another spurt, scoring 10 points in a row. Brooklyn’s offensive struggles compounded with another lengthy scoring drought, and Milwaukee led by as many as 21 points at 30-9.

Overall, the Nets shot just 5-of-25 in the first quarter, including 1-of-9 from three. Milwaukee wasn’t incredibly hot, but Giannis Antetokounpo and Khris Middleton combined to score all of the team’s 30 points (15 each), and the star power was needed.

Brooklyn did come alive to begin the second quarter, scoring the first seven points of the period and cutting the deficit to 12 points.

Following a timeout by Milwaukee, Brooklyn didn’t stop their onslaught. The Nets put together a 17-2 overall run, turning a 21-point deficit into a six-point margin short order.

Beyond the obvious slippage on the scoreboard, the Bucks also had a hiccup when Antetokounmpo was called for a 10-second violation at the free throw line. As a reminder, this game took place in Milwaukee.

The Bucks scored just three points over a nine-period stretch, giving back the majority of their early gains. Meanwhile, Brooklyn’s Bruce Brown helped to key the comeback, slashing the margin to as few as two points before halftime.

Despite their second quarter hiccups, Milwaukee did take the lead into the break. Much of that could be traced to stellar play from Middleton, who bounced back from struggles in Brooklyn with 20 points in the first half.

While the first half was marked by a big swing in the direction of each team, the third quarter settled in with the feel of a rock fight. Neither team was scoring even a point per possession through three quarters, and while competitive, the proceedings were a bit ugly. Brooklyn did tie the game for the first time at 57-57 with five minutes left in the third quarter, and the Nets also took their first lead of the game (!) at 65-64 within the final minute. Milwaukee benefitted from a three-shot foul, though, and the Bucks held a two-point edge as the fourth quarter arrived.

There were fireworks in the third quarter, though, but they didn’t come in the form of explosive offense. Instead, it was a dust-up involving double technical fouls for Kevin Durant and P.J. Tucker, complete with significant security involvement.

Early in the fourth quarter, Antetokounmpo (finally) got a three-pointer to fall. After missing his first six attempts from long range, the two-time MVP connected to give the Bucks a 74-70 lead.

In the ensuing moments, Milwaukee had opportunities to build on their edge as Brooklyn endured a cold snap. Instead, the Bucks also stalled and, after a turnover-fueled stretch, the Nets tied the game and forced the Bucks to call timeout with 7:21 remaining. From there, a game that was already a rock fight took things to a different level, as neither team scored from the 6:09 mark until the 2:40 mark when Middleton buried a jumper to break a 76-76 tie.

By the modest standards of this contest, the dam then broke, with Middleton and Durant both making two jumpers in a row to keep the score knotted at 80-80. Milwaukee then had an empty trip, but Durant wasn’t ready to let up, as he converted a three-pointer (capping a seven-point burst in 62 seconds) to give the Nets the lead with 1:23 to go.

Out of a timeout, the Bucks scored the next four points, capped by a whirling layup from Jrue Holiday to give Milwaukee a one-point lead with 11.4 seconds remaining.

In fitting fashion for what was largely an unsightly game, Brooklyn endured a broken play on the ensuing possession. The end result was a contested shot for Brown that went begging and, after two fouls, Middleton connected on two free throws with 2.1 seconds left that gave the Bucks a 86-83 lead.

Brooklyn did have one final look at a tie, but Durant was forced into a very difficult attempt that clanged off the back rim. That allowed Milwaukee to escape despite a substandard offensive performance.

Milwaukee shot just 38 percent from the floor and 6-of-31 from three-point range in the win. Still, Middleton (35 points, 15 rebounds) and Antetokounmpo (33 points, 14 rebounds) did their part to grind through a victory, keeping the Bucks in the mix. For the Nets, it was an uncharacteristic offensive showing, but they did continue to show an uptick in their defensive baseline, and Game 4 will be pivotal on all sides when it arrives on Sunday.

The Bucks and Nets found themselves in a rock fight on Thursday, with Milwaukee taking an early 30-9 lead before letting Brooklyn cut the deficit to just 45-42 at the half.

Neither offense could hit shots with any consistency as the two defenses were each doing a good job forcing contested looks and playing physically. That naturally created some frustrations on both sides, and as the game wore on things got a bit chippy. That peaked in the third quarter when a pair of former Texas Longhorns got tangled, as Kevin Durant and PJ Tucker came face to face to have words from a very close proximity after Tucker got called with a reach-in that was pretty obvious but he took issue with.

That Tucker and Durant got into it, earning a offsetting technicals, wasn’t much of a thing until the team security personnel arrived and managed to escalate the situation rather than diffuse it, with the Nets security guard barreling into Tucker and pushing him for no real reason.

That happened as everything was dying down and set Tucker off further, as his teammates had to calm him down and get him away from the situation. It was not a situation that needed a whole lot of breaking up beyond what the refs had already done and it’s not great that security made the situation worse by literally running through one of the players in question. The two sides moved on quickly and there were no other shenanigans in the quarter, but it might be time for a bit more deescalation training for the security guys because “running through one of the players” isn’t the best practice.

HBO Max isn’t known for its reality shows as much as its HBO content and Warner movie releases, but if Nikki Glaser gets her way that’s about to change in a hurry. Thursday brought official word for another reality show for the Warners streaming service, one that gets right to the point about its premise with the title: FBoy Island.

Billed as a strange mix of The Bachelor and Love Is Blind, the reality show about “f*ckboys” and “nice guys” will feature comedian Nikki Glaser as host. Glaser posted about the show on Twitter on Thursday and promised it is “everything” you expect a reality show about f*ckboys to be.

Complete with a tropical poster and shirtless dudes, it’s certainly a departure from some early reality offerings on HBO Max such as The Bridge, where extremely British people worked together to make a bridge across a lake using rudimentary tools and engineering knowledge. This one, in other words, sounds much more like American reality TV.

Here’s the official logline from HBO:

Three women move to a tropical island where they’re joined by 24 men – 12 self-proclaimed “Nice Guys” looking for love, and 12 self-proclaimed “FBoys,” there to compete for cold, hard cash. The women will navigate the dating pool together with the hope of finding a lasting love connection. By the finale, all will be revealed – who is a Nice Guy, who is an FBoy, and who do the women ultimately choose. FBOY ISLAND is a social experiment that asks the age-old question: Can FBoys truly reform or do Nice Guys always finish last?

It sounds weird enough to work. Or, at the very least, be extremely watchable in a weekend or so. Which is all we’re really looking for from reality TV on a streaming platform, right? Glaser certainly seems excited about the project.

“When I first got the call to be a part of a reality dating show called FBOY ISLAND, I said yes immediately. Then I realized they weren’t asking me to be one of the girls looking for love. That is not a joke; it was embarrassing,” she said according to a release. “But as a massive fan of this genre, hosting this show was a true dream. I look forward to hosting for the next 43 seasons.”

FBoy Island premieres on HBO Max later this summer.

Saweetie is stepping up to lend a helping hand to her Asian American community. The rapper, who is of Filipino descent, announced that she is teaming up with Gen. G, the leading esports company that connects the United States to Asia, for a string of workshops. The Icy Baby Workshops begin next week and see the rapper learning skills and covering topics that include gaming, cooking, music, lifestyle, and fashion, and beauty.

According to Revolt, Saweetie’s overall goal is to bring awareness to both AAPI entrepreneurs and her Icy Baby Foundation, her non-profit that aims to inspire “Black, brown and other underserved youth through financial literacy, entrepreneurship, and technology training.” Saweetie also spoke about the workshops in a press release.

“Now is the time to come together and support each other as we fight to end Asian Hate,” she said. “I am excited to partner with Gen. G to connect with our fans in new and inventive ways to have real conversations about making positive changes in our community.”

Gina Chung Lee, VP of Brand for Gen. G, also spoke about the new endeavor as well.

“So many Asian Americans are in the forefront of gaming, music and fashion but rarely get the spotlight that they deserve. It’s great to partner with an advocate and entrepreneur like Saweetie,” she said in the press release. “As an AAPI woman growing up, there wasn’t always mainstream representation and celebration. It’s very meaningful to be able to shape and empower the next generation of leaders across all digital platforms and create cool content while doing so.”

The workshops will begin on June 14 with the launch of her new Twitch channel. The first lesson will see her beside Twitch chef Triciaisabirdy and DJ Bella Fiasco as they dive into a discussion about food. On June 16, she will discuss fashion and beauty and the next day her conversation will be focused on gaming.

Saweetie is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The “Big 5” is an old term from the colonial era, denoting the five wild animals in Africa that were the most sought-after kills for trophy hunters. Killing those five—lion, leopard, rhinoceros, elephant, and Cape buffalo—meant ultimate success in the big-game hunting world.

Now there’s a “New Big 5,” but instead of a barbaric goal for trophy hunters, it’s a beautiful goal for wildlife photographers.

The initiative was created by British wildlife photographer Graeme Green with the goal of raising awareness about threats to the world’s animals including habitat loss, poaching, illegal animal trade, and climate change. In a global call for votes, 50,000 wildlife lovers shared which animals they most wanted to photograph or see in photos. And the winners are:

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Elephant. Polar bear. Lion. Gorilla. Tiger.

These five animals will serve as global ambassadors for all the world’s wildlife, including the one million species currently threatened with extinction.

The New Big 5 of Wildlife Photography – The Results

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New Big 5 project founder Graeme Green said in a statement, “The 5 animals that wildlife lovers around the world have voted to include in the New Big 5 of Wildlife Photography — elephants, gorillas, tigers, lions, and polar bears — are not just some of the most beautiful, incredible animals on the planet. All 5 also face serious threats to their existence. The New Big 5 are the tip of the iceberg. They stand for all the creatures on the planet, so many of which are in danger. From bees to blue whales, all wildlife is essential to the balance of nature, to healthy ecosystems and to the future of our planet.”

Jane Goodall has also praised the initiative, saying, “We now have the results of the New Big 5 project. These 5 animals — elephants, polar bears, gorillas, tigers, and lions — are such beautiful and remarkable species, and are wonderful ambassadors for the world’s wildlife, from iconic species to little-known frogs, lizards, fish and birds. So many face threats to their survival from issues such as poaching, habitat loss and climate change. A million species are at risk of extinction. If we work together, we can stop this from happening. There is always hope. Change is possible if we each play our part.”

The New Big 5 project encourages travelers to visit the places where these animals are found and support conservation efforts in those areas. Ultimately, it’s a celebration of wildlife and nature photography and a call to action to save species under threat.

Humanity has learned a lot since the original Big 5 days, but trophy hunting still exists and there’s much to be done to protect the world’s wildlife. Hopefully the New Big 5 will inspire more people to work on conserving the environment and protect ecosystems so that animal life large and small can flourish.

I’m sorry to do this to anyone who remembers its release, but Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo 64 is going to be 24 years old this upcoming August. Yet, despite the game’s age, it is still beloved to this day. That’s because Goldeneye is one of those legendary games that was at the perfect moment in the perfect time. It was the first major console first-person shooter to take off. Its multiplayer was the stuff of legends and dominated college dorm rooms well beyond the N64’s lifespan.

People love Goldeneye, even in this current generation of lifelike video games and massively upgraded mechanics. And the latest example of that adoration for the series can be found in Far Cry 5 and its arcade mode. Fans recently discovered that when you enter that mode and search for “GE64” you will find a map that is an incredible homage to Goldeneye.

This just goes to show how much people still love Goldeneye. Nostalgia is a powerful tool and that someone was willing to recreate it in an entirely different game just shows the level to which people adore this game. What’s also impressive is how good it looks. A lot of people will remake their favorite levels of games in creation games such as Mario Maker or Dreams, but there’s usually a pretty obvious fake skin on top of it. This looks pretty close to what a modern-day version of ‘Goldeneye 007’ would look like, making it that much better.

Middle Earth keeps getting bigger and bigger, and the latest project in the Lord of the Rings universe is apparently a feature-length anime. An animated Lord of the Rings film is reportedly coming from New Line Cinema and Warner Animation, who have roughly $5.8 billion reasons to keep expanding the blockbuster film series with new stories from the J.R.R. Tolkien universe.

According to Variety, The War of the Rohirrim anime has some serious backing lined up and will feature a story Rings fans are eager to see play out on the silver screen. According to the report, voice casting is already underway and we already know the feature will tackle some important lore.

The stand-alone feature will depict the bloody saga behind Helm’s Deep, the fortress depicted in “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,” and the man in whose honor it’s named: Helm Hammerhand, the legendary King of Rohan who spent much of his reign locked in a prolonged and costly war.

Veteran anime filmmaker Kenji Kamiyama, who helmed Netflix’s “Ultraman” anime series, will direct the film from a screenplay by Jeffrey Addiss and Will Matthews (“The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance”). Joseph Chou (the “Blade Runner: Black Lotus” TV series) is producing.

It’s all part of the ever-expanding Rings universe, which is starting to include projects on a variety of networks and extending beyond movies. As Variety’s reporting indicates, the anime film will directly tie into the more traditional Lord of the Rings movies from Peter Jackson, which includes the original trilogy and the number of Hobbit-related projects. That includes Philippa Boyens, who penned the Oscar-winning Return of the King screenplay, consulting on the anime project. The Amazon LOTR series, however, will apparently not be directly tied to this project.

That’s probably because, well, the series is set many, many years before the original trilogy’s events in Middle Earth. Still with us? Well, it’ll all make a bit more sense when the series and this film are actually released. But there’s certainly a lot to look forward to here.

[via Variety]

After a strange upload and takedown of her first new single, “Solar Power,” Lorde is now back in business. Sharing the title track and first video for her third album cycle, the New Zealand singer-songwriter also shared a lengthy newsletter with more detail for fans shortly after the video officially dropped today. She let subscribers know that today is, fittingly, the only solar eclipse of the year, and confirmed that her third album will be a summer one. Solar Power is, according to its maker, “sexy, playful, feral, and free,” and a ” celebration of the natural world.”

Check out her full letter about the album below, and if you haven’t heard the first single yet, watch the “Solar Power” video above.

“You ready?
There’s someone I want you to meet.
Her feet are bare at all times. She’s sexy, playful, feral, and free. She’s a modern girl in a deadstock bikini, in touch with her past and her future, vibrating at the highest level when summer comes around. Her skin is glowing, her lovers are many. I’m completely obsessed with her, and soon you will be too.

It’s my divine pleasure to be introducing you, at long last, to my third studio album, SOLAR POWER.

The album is a celebration of the natural world, an attempt at immortalising the deep, transcendent feelings I have when I’m outdoors. In times of heartache, grief, deep love, or confusion, I look to the natural world for answers. I’ve learnt to breathe out, and tune in. This is what came through.

The first song, also called SOLAR POWER and written and produced by myself and Jack, is the first of the rays. It’s about that infectious, flirtatious summer energy that takes hold of us all, come June (or December, if you’re a Southern Hemisphere baby like me but I know that’s literally IMPOSSIBLE for you all to wrap your little heads around so don’t worry about it!!).

I made everything with friends here in New Zealand. My best mate Ophelia took the cover photo, lying on the sand as I leapt over her, both of us laughing. The director who made my first ever music video, Joel, helped me create the videos, building an entire cinematic universe that I can’t wait for you to see. I made something that encapsulates where I’m from — my family, my girlfriends, my outdoors, my constant ruminations, and my unending search for the divine.

There’s SO much more detail to come — a truly comical amount of detail, honestly. You can look to the natural calendar for clues. I’m trying to listen to what’s out there more, and the vibe I got was that you’re ready for this, that you need it. I want this album to be your summer companion, the one you pump on the drive to the beach. The one that lingers on your skin like a tan as the months get cooler again.

Today’s the only solar eclipse of the year, did you know that? Feels right.

LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LET’S GO

SOLAR POWER TODAY — TOMORROW — FOREVER

ELLA XX.”

A magical thing about the internet is that it is very easy to find archived articles from the past to find quotes, and that is something Charles Barkley should’ve maybe looked into before going on his latest rant about the current state of the NBA.

Barkley was asked about the Brooklyn Nets and their prospects of winning it all on a conference call for the American Century Championship golf tournament and said he’s rooting against the Nets this postseason before launching into a rant against guys teaming up to go win championships, via Sports Illustrated.

“KD is a great player, and I think he’s a great kid,” Barkley said on a conference call for this weekend’s American Century Championship golf tournament. “I don’t know him that well, but I’m not a fan of superteams. So listen, if they win it, they win it, but to be perfectly clear, I’m rooting against those guys. I root against all superteams.

“If I’d known you guys were going to make fun of me for not winning a championship, I would have joined a superteam back in my day—me and Patrick [Ewing] and Karl Malone and John Stockton. But I feel good about my legacy. I’m pretty sure Patrick and John and Karl do, too. LeBron [James] started this superteam thing [in Miami], and hey, it’s the way the game is played now.”

…

“To go back to my day, even though we didn’t win the championship, the Sixers were worth watching. The Knicks were worth watching. The Pacers were worth watching when Reggie was there, same thing with Atlanta and Dominique. I just don’t think it’s good for business, but these young kids, they all fold to peer pressure and feel like they’ve got to win a championship or their life sucks. I don’t believe that. Listen, there’s not many people I’d trade my life with.”

Barkley is far from the first former player to complain about super teams, but he also seems to be conveniently forgetting the time he forced his way onto a contender by threatening to retire if the Suns didn’t trade him to the Rockets in 1996 so he could play with two-time champs Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler in order to finally win a championship. You can read all about it still, right here, including quotes like this:

Barkley said he was pleased with the way the deal had worked out.

“I’m excited because . . . I called the shots,” he said of the trade. “When push comes to shove, I think you have to stand up to the system.”

Those Rockets just weren’t able to ever fulfill on the promise of having that trio, despite a tremendous 96-97 season, and win a championship in their later years. This isn’t to say Barkley was wrong to have wanted to get to a contender in 1996, but to point out the selective memory he and others seem to have when it comes to taking issue with things current players do that they likewise did.

To act as though he wasn’t incredibly aware of how important winning a title was to his legacy when he was playing is ridiculous, as is the idea that players just now started wielding their power to get where they wanted to go. Players certainly have different avenues they can go to make that happen and more make such pushes sooner rather than later in their careers, but for Barkley to act as though trying to team up with other stars is something completely foreign to his generation of players is, to say the least, laughable.