Category: News

February is Black History Month in America, a fact that in and of itself speaks to a central problem with the way Black achievement is celebrated and taught in this country. Critics have long decried the impulse to compartmentalize history this way, arguing that it diminishes the enormous contributions Black people have made to all sectors of American life.

Historians have long lobbied for a much deeper and more meaningful integration into public school education, and it’s a cause that’s been taken up by Black leaders from various industries. NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, for instance, who has long been a champion of education, recently spoke about the importance of re-framing the discussion of Black history.

During a virtual conference this week, he spoke about his own experience learning about Black history in school and the insufficient nature of how it was taught to him and so many others.

“A couple of paragraphs, that was it.” Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (@kaj33) discusses how Black history gets ignored and the importance of teaching, learning and celebrating the contributions of Black Americans. #BlackHistoryMonth Virtual Teach-in – 12pm/et on @NBA pic.twitter.com/OxcBhlk5K3

— NBA (@NBA) February 12, 2021

“The history books I had when I was in grade school and high school referred to Black people with regard to the issues of slavery and civil rights, and that was it, and that was a couple of paragraphs,” he said. “Our history in this country is so much more involved. It’s intricate. All of our achievements in the arts and sciences are ignored, so we really have a lot of work to do to let our fellow citizens know that we’ve contributed so much to what makes America great.”

Thankfully, we have advocates like Abdul-Jabbar, who consistently uses his voice and his platform to advocate for change. Keeping this conversation going will only aid the process of bringing real change and progress to an educational model that has been badly in need of adjustment for generations.

On Wednesday, Charisma Carpenter joined the growing list of people who’ve come out against Joss Whedon. The actress alleged emotional abuse on the sets of both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spin-off Angel, claiming he engaged in behavior “only served to intensify my performance anxiety, disempower me, and alienate me from my peers.” Since then a number of other Buffy alum have come out in support of her, including Michelle Trachtenberg and Sarah Michelle Gellar, Amber Benson, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Now Eliza Dushku, who played fellow Slayer Faith on both shows, has joined the fray.

“I’m so sorry you have held this for so long,” Dushku wrote in a lengthy Instagram post. “Your post was powerful, painful, and painted a picture we’ll collectively never un-see or un-know. Thank you. I hadn’t known it and I won’t forget it.”

She continued:

“I frequently think of the saying, “We are as sick as our secrets.” Our secrets indeed make and keep us sick. What I’m learning more and more — and have personally found most valuable — is that profound healing can only come from naming and disclosing what actually happened, the necessary first step (once someone’s ready) to freeing ourselves from our secrets, untold truths which have kept us isolated, ashamed and held hostage.”

Dushku also lamented about overall abuse in the entertainment industry, saying that “neglecting to ‘name’ the power/gender/sexual/racial abuse epidemic in the entertainment industry (and for that matter society in general), enables the abusers and only emboldens and ultimately fortifies abusive systems.”

But she was hopeful, saying that, with people like Carpenter stepping forward — as well as Ray Fisher, the Justice League star who alleged Whedon abuse last summer — that “countless others feel the solidarity and connection” they have “likely missed for too long.” She concluded by writing, “It starts and will end because of courageous truth-tellers like you. I admire, respect, and love you.”

Carpenter was a series regular on Buffy, playing Cordelia Chase, a fellow high school student and a part of our hero’s inner circle. She left after three seasons to co-star on Angel, but she suddenly and controversially vanished from the show after the fourth season. Carpenter alleged that, among other allegations, Whedon fired her for getting pregnant.

(Via THR)

Not even 48 hours after Gina Carano was fired by Lucasfilm after a series of incendiary social media posts, the former The Mandalorian star has teamed up with controversial far-right commentator Ben Shapiro for a new movie project that will stick it to the “Hollywood Left.” In a statement announcing the new film that will be released exclusively to The Daily Wire subscribers, Carano calls the collaboration an answered prayer following her very public “cancellation” from the hit Disney+ series following an anti-Semitic Instagram post. Via Deadline:

“The Daily Wire is helping make one of my dreams — to develop and produce my own film — come true. I cried out and my prayer was answered. I am sending out a direct message of hope to everyone living in fear of cancellation by the totalitarian mob. I have only just begun using my voice which is now freer than ever before, and I hope it inspires others to do the same. They can’t cancel us if we don’t let them.”

While it’s tempting to say that Carano strikes back, we’ll leave the weird and ill-fitting Star Wars metaphors to Shapiro, who is usually in the news for throwing reactionary hissy fits over things like the First Lady being called Dr. Biden, as she should be. “We’re eager to bring Gina’s talent to Americans who love her,” Shapiro told Deadline. And we’re just as eager to show Hollywood that if they want to keep canceling those who think differently, they’ll just be helping us build the X-wing to take down their Death Star.”

(Via Deadline)

Just as we thought the WNBA was settling into stasis following another wild free agency period, the league went nuclear again, as five different teams came together for five separate trades. The hierarchy of the league changed once again, as the reigning champion Storm rearranged its roster with an eye toward the future and the upstart Liberty pumped up their defense with a former Defensive Player of the Year.

That’s on top of the WNBA free agency period that began last week, in which star players like Candace Parker and Aerial Powers changed teams. For the second straight season, the new collective bargaining agreement created incentives for players to change teams, and it affected just about every franchise.

Loose transactions such as Minnesota’s need to get rid of a protected contract and the state of the Chicago Sky frontcourt remain in the air, but things are largely settled now. Here’s the state of affairs in the WNBA as free agency (maybe?) winds to a close.

1. Washington Mystics

The Mystics still haven’t been able to truly defend their 2019 championship, as nearly half the roster opted out of the Bubble in 2020. And they still have not been able to ring in the debut of Tina Charles, the likely Hall of Famer who was traded to Washington this time last year and was granted a medical exception from participating in the Bubble. The roster, still, is looking like it will be one of the best in the league in 2021.

Washington signed All-Defensive wing Alysha Clark to a multiyear contract this winter, giving head coach and general manager Mike Thibault, who is known for loving physical 3-and-D wings, perhaps the preeminent such player in the entire league. Clark has made nearly half her threes over the past two seasons while taking around four per 36 minutes. She has also grown as a playmaker, making it likely she will fit smoothly into the Mystics’ five-out motion offense. Clark was among the best signings of the offseason.

And yet it all comes down to Elena Delle Donne, the 2019 MVP who is still, to me, the best player in the league. Because of her physicality and ball skills, she is the ultimate matchup-breaker for a defense, and has grown to be a good defender and playmaker in her own right. With new weapons like Clark and Charles in tow, Delle Donne should have an inside track to take Washington to its third Finals in four years.

2. Seattle Storm

It takes a lot to knock down a defending champ from their perch, but the Storm this offseason intentionally cut away at their depth and overall level of proven talent in order to prolong their championship window. But in doing so, they may have hurt their championship equity in the process.

Seattle traded away 2019 Defensive Player of the Year and perennial All-Star candidate Natasha Howard as well as bench shooter Sami Whitcomb in exchange for, in effect, second-year forward Kiki Herbert-Harrigan, stretch forward Katie Lou Samuelson, and two second-round picks. At its surface, it’s an ugly swap. But the Storm also face more of a cap crunch moving forward, as their strong drafting comes to roost and they have to pay Sue Bird’s replacement, Jordin Canada, as well as additional young talent like like center Mercedes Russell, who may now be the starter. There’s also the matter of a new contract for reigning Finals MVP Breanna Stewart.

As a stopgap, the Storm also signed the legendary Candice Dupree, who is fifth in WNBA history in total points, but the true answer to how effectively Seattle can survive these losses will come from how much young players like Canada, Russell, Ezi Magbegor, and even Jewell Loyd can continue to improve.

3. Las Vegas Aces

While they weren’t involved in the megadeals on Wednesday, the Aces continue to take advantage of 2020 MVP A’ja Wilson’s rookie contract to put a consistent title contender around her. To that end, the Aces were able to add All-Star guard Chelsea Gray to the mix in addition to bench scorer Riquna Williams. But the biggest additions may be players who were already on the roster.

Despite making the 2020 Finals behind an elite defense and an otherworldly scoring season from Wilson, the Aces were severely depleted. High-scoring guard Kelsey Plum missed the season with a ruptured Achilles’ tendon and All-Star center Liz Cambage was granted a medical exemption. That forced them to coax veteran big Carolyn Swords out of retirement and rely on fringe WNBA players deep into the playoffs. The expectation now is that both Plum and Cambage will be back for the 2021 season, though Cambage remains officially unsigned after being “cored,” which is the WNBA equivalent of the franchise tag.

The result is a roster that may be the league’s most talented, top to bottom. How Wilson and Cambage continue to adapt to one another and whether the Aces can cobble together enough floor-spacing to compete with elite modern offenses will decide whether Las Vegas finally wins a championship, but they have the talent to get it done.

4. Minnesota Lynx

Often overlooked because of their lack of a megastar, the Lynx quietly added two high-level modern wings to a core that already made the semifinals in 2020. With Powers and Kayla McBride in place to bolster the Lynx’s perimeter defense and allow All-WNBA second team forward Napheesa Collier to potentially take another step forward offensively, Minnesota should be able to improve.

By also signing Natalie Achonwa to be the backup center, the Lynx have to hope that they can keep veteran defensive anchor Sylvia Fowles healthier as well, after she missed the semifinals with a calf strain in 2020. Should Collier indeed take that step forward as a go-to scorer with more spacing and talent around her, the Lynx can win with depth and balance as they always have, and potentially return to the Finals for the first time since 2017.

5. Chicago Sky

All the hype went toward Chicago this month, which is what happens when you sign someone as famous as Parker. The team surely needed a defensive anchor like Parker, but they will need health and improvement from young pieces like Azura Stevens and Diamond DeShields, both of whom left the Bubble with injuries last season.

Until we see it, the Sky’s defensive upside will be in question. An older and relatively less athletic starting backcourt coupled with a crop of young players whose status and quality is in question makes it hard to bet on the Sky to necessarily be a championship team, even with Parker.

6. Phoenix Mercury

A core of Diana Taurasi, Brittney Griner, and Skylar Diggins-Smith and is enough to put you in the championship conversation every season. Despite Griner leaving the Bubble early, the Mercury made a late run by playing a speedy, wide-open system with Taurasi and Diggins-Smith handling the entire offense. That will change with Griner back in 2021, but they should be effective playing in the halfcourt as well, after a huge step forward defensively by Brianna Turner and the team added two-way players like 2019 All-Star Kia Nurse and reserve big Kia Vaughn this offseason.

If players like trade acquisition Megan Walker or 2019 first-round pick Alanna Smith also improve, or if Griner returns to an MVP level like she played at in 2017 and 2018, Phoenix can rise into the top tier of contenders, but for now, they sit firmly in the middle. The WNBA is just too deep.

7. Connecticut Sun

The real story of this offseason for Sun is the unfortunate Achilles’ tear for Alyssa Thomas, who has long been their most important player and maybe the best defender in the entire WNBA. Without her, the Sun’s ceiling is just not as high, though 2019 third-place MVP finisher Jonquel Jones will be back after opting out of the 2020 season, and this team still has plenty of veteran talent.

Connecticut was able to re-sign two-way guard and leader Jasmine Thomas as well as breakout center Brionna Jones, and scoring forward DeWanna Bonner, the team’s max signing from 2020, is still around. They should make the playoffs, but a return to the Finals for the second time in three years is unlikely to be in the cards.

8. Atlanta Dream

How much longer can the Dream’s drought end? They have an inordinate amount of talent, especially on offense, as the flashy Courtney Williams joined “Hollywood” Chennedy Carter to form one of the more potent offensive backcourts in the WNBA. Add in the shooting of Shekinna Stricklen as well as new frontcourt additions Cheyenne Parker and Tianna Hawkins and the return of star wing Tiffany Hayes, and this team has no reason not to be among the best offenses in the WNBA.

The question, then, is whether a younger squad led by Elizabeth Williams in the middle, can defend well enough to make the playoffs. With another year of experience for the group and a more full roster, my bet is they will figure it out and return to the playoffs for the first time since 2018.

9. Los Angeles Sparks

Just eight teams make the WNBA playoffs, so the perennial contender Sparks fall out. Despite losing Gray and Parker, they still have 2016 MVP and one of the steadiest two-way stars in the league, Nneka Ogwumike, but things are pretty bare around her. Los Angeles also will get 2020 signee Kristi Toliver back after she opted out of the Bubble, as well as their new point guard Erica Wheeler, a solid scorer and play-maker, who just signed last week.

The end result is a solid roster with some interesting players, but one that just lacks the top-end talent to make them a title contender, let alone a lock for the playoffs.

10. New York Liberty

Despite adding Howard and 2020 Most Improved Player Betnijah Laney, the Liberty still have a lot to prove in 2021. We still have only seen a handful of minutes from 2020 No. 1 overall pick Sabrina Ionescu, and the rest of the roster is very young outside of Laney, Howard, and point guard Layshia Clarendon.

There’s reason to believe New York’s five-out approach on offense and a healthy season from Ionescu could put them in the top half of the league on that end, but are Howard and Laney enough to bolster the defense? That seems like a tall order.

11. Dallas Wings

This is more so about the rest of the league getting stronger than the Wings getting worse. Dallas took care of business this offseason, re-signing former No. 4 overall pick Allisha Gray and extending longtime forward Kayla Thornton. But they remain very young and capped out, never a good mix.

The story of the offseason for Dallas will be how they use the top two overall picks (yes, they now have both after trading Samuelson for No. 1) to bolster the core around budding superstars in Arike Ogunbowale and Satou Sabally.

12. Indiana Fever

The Fever took a seemingly intentional step backward this offseason despite general manager Tamika Catchings saying in a press conference that this would be Indiana’s last year in the draft lottery. They lost Dupree and Wheeler without really replacing them, and will instead let young players like Tiffany Mitchell, Teaira McCowan, and Lauren Cox see what they can do in 2021.

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE — Let’s discuss the issues of the day

The wild thing about Gina Carson getting fired from The Mandalorian — or, like, not being brought back, if you prefer — for bad posts is that they weren’t even bad old posts. That’s something we’ve seen before and something that makes me a little uncomfortable because it kind of removes the motivation for a person to grow and get better, if we’re always going to hold them to the dumbest and worst things they’ve ever said. I don’t know. That’s an issue with a lot of gray areas in it and, thankfully, we don’t have to solve it today because that’s not what happened here. Gina Carson did not lose her job because someone pulled up bad posts from a decade ago. Gina Carano just kept posting and posting and posted herself right out of a gig, after what I have to assume were multiple warnings from high-ranking people at Disney. Everyone’s eyes were wide-open on this one.

You are all, as always, welcome to dive headlong into the lava-filled swimming pool of the political discourse surrounding all of this (which, I suppose, makes it more of a lava-filled moat than a lava-filled swimming pool), but I will not be joining you. That is, to put an extremely fine point on it, not what I am interested in or about in any substantial way. The solution to all of this is fewer bad posts, not more bad ones. But no one listens to be me. If they did, golfers on the PGA Tour would all have NOS-powered carts and the winners would be determined by how fast they completed the round, regardless of the number of strokes it took. I am trying to help.

And so, with all of that in mind, let’s instead look at a few (kind of) simple ideas for what the show can do to replace her going forward, or at least explain her absence. I must stress that these are not very good ideas. But when has that ever stopped me before?

FIRST OPTION — We straight-up Fresh Prince this sucker

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air famously — and controversially — just up and switched out Aunt Vivs between seasons three and four after various on-set issues that you are welcome to Google. This is one way to go, and one of the funnier ones because it requires the audience to just, like, accept that there’s a whole-ass new person playing the role of Cara Dune and none of the characters on the show are acknowledging it at all. It’s also fun because it opens up the “well then who should it be?” discussion, and that is always a place where idiots like me thrive.

It should probably be someone who can handle themselves physically, just because Cara Dune is a warrior. Do we go with another Fast & Furious veteran like Michelle Rodriguez or Ronda Rousey? Do we go with a John Wick veteran like Ruby Rose? Do we listen to the fans and get Lucy Lawless involved? Do we put in a call to Helen Mirren, just because it seems like Helen Mirren is having a lot of fun being an action star lately? Yes, sure, Helen Mirren is a little older than Cara Dune, but I think I would like to see it and that is what is important here.

SECOND OPTION — The Poochie option

We just move right along and let Pedro Pascal and Baby Yoda do their thing and pretend none of any of this ever happened. This is probably the way it’s headed, without the title screen above, or without the “Cara Dune died on the way back to her home planet” of it all. That’s fine, I guess, and sensible for a controversy-averse mega-conglomerate like Disney, but it would be funnier if season three opens with a huge explosion and a smash-cut to a funeral. Let Werner Herzog’s character give the eulogy. Let Werner write it himself. Listen to me.

THIRD OPTION — CGI Cara Dune voiced by someone doing a Gina Carano impression

Is it more expensive and more labor-intensive than the other two? Yes. Is it a good idea? No. But it is any worse than me suggesting they swap her out with Helen Mirren without referencing it a single time within the show? Also no.

So these are a few things worth considering. Kind of.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — Warrior is a good show

I started watching Warrior this week. I don’t know why it took me so long to start. It was recommended to me by many people I like and/or respect, and it features lots of people doing sick martial arts stuff, and it has some of the best captions I’ve ever encountered, which is something that is admittedly more important to me than most (normal, well-adjusted) viewer, but still. Look at that one up there. I love radical martial arts music.

I’m not far enough into the show that I’d feel comfortable explaining the plot beyond the basics, so here are the basics: Warrior is about a guy — Ah Sahm, played by Andrew Koji — who comes to San Francisco from China in the early 1900s, and he attempts to navigate a dicey racial situation, and he starts working for a Chinese criminal organization, and he is so good at martial arts. He is so good. The show is very violent and graphic and filled with blood and guts and nudity, facts that all make enough sense when you realize that it airs on Cinemax and is produced by one of the minds behind Banshee, another show that was fun and relentlessly graphic. Here’s another screencap with another terrific caption that explains this as well as any of the words I’m typing.

The story behind Warrior is cool, too. The show was the brainchild of Bruce Lee — yes, that Bruce Lee — and was brought to television almost 50 years after his death thanks to his daughter Shannon and Fast & Furious director Justin Lin. From a Deadline story back when the show was first announced.

Bruce Lee had spent many years working on Warrior, but it was never published or produced. Years after the Enter The Dragon actor’s sudden 1973 death at age 32, his daughter found a large collection of handwritten notes that Bruce wrote himself on the concept for the series that became the inspiration for the show.

“I’ve always admired Bruce Lee for his trailblazing efforts opening doors for Asians in entertainment and beyond,” Lin said. “So I was intrigued when Danielle told me about the urban legend of his never-produced idea for a TV show and suggested we bring it to life. Then when Shannon shared with us her father’s writings: rich with Lee’s unique philosophies on life, and through a point of view rarely depicted on screen – Danielle and I knew that Perfect Storm had to make it.

This, to be very clear, is awesome. Again, I don’t know why it took me so long to get started watching it. It’s got everything I like. And both of its two seasons are available on HBO Max right now. And, in the second episode, one of the characters does this, which might be the second coolest thing I’ve ever seen a television character do, just behind Raylan Givens throwing a bullet at Wynn Duffy and saying “Next one’s coming faster.”

It’s a good show. It’s a show I feel more comfortable watching with my headphones in (see above, re graphic sex and sloshing innards), which is fine and only awkward when I let out a little “hell yeah” at a volume I think is under my breath but is actually not. If you are looking for a good show and typically like a lot of the things I like, I vote give it a shot. It’s a little like if Peaky Blinders had dudes doing radical martial arts in the streets two or three times every episode. This is one of the highest compliments I know how to give.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — Kate Winslet, Philadelphia icon

Kate Winslet is a good actress who has been famous for many years thanks to her role in Titanic over 20 years ago. One of those is a statement of opinion and one is a statement of fact, but I don’t think I’m going to get much blowback on either one. She’s pretty beloved and respected and has managed to be both of those things for a long time. It’s not an easy trick to pull off. And it’s even more impressive when you realize she had never publicly come out as pro-Wawa.

Two things are important to know for this to make sense:

• Wawa is a chain of Philadelphia-area gas stations and convenience stores that serve hoagies and coffee and lots of other stuff and has developed a fairly rabid fan base among deranged Pennsylvania residents
• I am one of those deranged Pennsylvania residents

Another fact that is important to this story: Kate Winslet filmed a television series in the Philadelphia area recently, one for HBO called Mare of Easttown, which the local Philadelphia newspaper was all quite excited about.

Created and written by Berwyn’s Brad Ingelsby (The Way Back), and apparently set in Easttown, Chester County, the seven-episode limited series features Winslet as Mare Sheehan, described by HBO as “a small-town Pennsylvania detective who investigates a local murder as life crumbles around her.”

This all sounds like a very Kate Winslet project and one I will watch both because it is my job and because I want to see how accurate her Philadelphia-area accent is. But none of that is the point. The point is that now, courtesy of the TCA Press Tour and my former colleague Alan Sepinwall, we know that Kate Winslet is, in fact, pro-Wawa.

Kate Winslet, come over and watch the Sixers and eat chicken salad shorties with me. I will buy you an Allen Iverson jersey. Let me teach you the rest of our ways.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — My sweet boy

I follow Paddington Bear on Twitter. It’s a ridiculous thing for me to be doing, on paper, devoid of context. It’s an account run by a social media team that is tweeting in character as a small bear from a series of children’s movies and yet I, a man in his 30s who spends most of his day conversing with similarly jaded and very online people, adore it. It helps that I love the movies. They are legitimately good and sweet and I don’t know why I’m explaining myself like this. I don’t have to prove anything to you. Paddington rules.

Anyway, the Paddington account, which I choose to believe is actually run by Paddington, tweeting with his little paws, tweeted this past week.

That’s nice. What I did not expect, however, was an entire week of follow-through. Well, guess what.

Is it weird that my favorite tweets from the last week have been a CGI bear cub asking politely for marmalade sandwiches in various languages I don’t understand? It probably is. I’m fine with it. He’s a good boy.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — Let’s have some fun with this

The most important news from the TCA Press Tour was the thing about Kate Winslet going to Wawa, but this is notable, too: New HBO top banana Casey Bloys says the network is considering a fourth season of True Detective, one without the involvement of the show’s creator and mastermind Nic Pizzolato.

Sayeth Bloys, via Deadline:

“It’s safe to say we’re working with a couple of writers to find the right tone and take. It’s definitely an area that could be very interesting and I think it would be interesting with a new voice. Quality is what’s going to guide us so if we end up with scripts that we don’t feel are representative or are not at a high enough quality, we’re not going to do something just to do it,” he said.

Okay, hear me out.

HBO is considering making a fourth season of True Detective with a new writer. The show was better in the third season than it was in the second but it had still fallen into a bit of a rut. It needs a fresh voice with a different perspective. HBO already has long relationships with Danny McBride (Eastbound and Down, Vice Principals, The Righteous Gemstones) and Damon Lindelof (The Leftovers, Watchmen). I think it would be cool to see either of them take on a season of the show. HBO should offer them a lot of money to try. I am barely joking.

I mean, I would prefer having them both create more new projects or continuing ones they’ve started, but this could work, too. Put in a call to Phoebe Waller-Bridge, too. Let’s get weird.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From Tony:

Brian

BRIAN!

I know you’ve seen the news. We’ve all seen the news.

WHO’S GONNA STAR BRIAN?

(Also this is yet another great excuse for you to give us some stonkin character names.)

Frédéric Façade Brian, it’s right there.

Look at all that additional je ne sais quoi on those letters!

The guy has a French accent, because with a name like that how can you not. But it’s a bad accent, and the actor who swops with him has a perfect one.

That’s how they know it’s not really him. Or maybe they both do terrible French accents or he lives in the French Quarter, who knows!

But you do Brian, I know you do.

My favorite thing about this email is that it came in early Friday morning with the subject line “FACEOFF BRIAN FACEOFF!” and gave me an excuse to mention the recently announced Face/Off sequel-type project that is being directed by the director of Godzilla vs. Kong and produced by the producer of the Fast & Furious movies. Most of the rest of this column was banked before the news broke late on Thursday and I was legitimately irked about not squeezing it in (I’m fine). So thank you, Tony. Please know that I am thinking about this and will continue thinking about it forever and will probably blog about it in greater detail as soon as, like, this afternoon.

I still think they should just bring back Cage and Travolta, a full 20+ years and a few dozen straight-to-VOD movies later. That would be delightful.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To New York City!

A man who allegedly stole at least eight pints of ice cream from a Manhattan business ended up clinging to the side of a building during his unsuccessful getaway, prompting police to come to his rescue, according to the NYPD.

Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is an attempted small-scale ice cream heist with what I’m going to assume was an “opening scene of Casino Royale”- parkour getaway gone wrong. I know there was probably no parkour involved. I know it was probably just a bumbling attempt to flee that went sideways in a hurry. But I’m having too much fun picturing a guy doing cool parkour stuff across NYC rooftops and fire escapes after stealing eight pints of ice cream. I will not let any of you take it from me.

According to the NYPD, police responded to a 911 call of larceny inside of a CVS located at 1500 Lexington Ave. When officers arrived, they allegedly engaged in a foot pursuit with a 30-year-old male who fit the description of the reported ice cream thief.

Something about the phrase “who fit the description of the reported ice cream thief” is killing me. It’s not as good as the parkour chase I’m still picturing, but it’s not bad at all.

Police say that officers followed the individual to the courtyard of 183 East 98 Street where he climbed over a fence that led to a long drop to an alleyway below. The man apparently tried to get down to the alleyway and got stuck on a small ledge, police said. ESU was called and the man was rescued and subsequently taken into custody.

I’m going to pretend I didn’t read this part. You are, too. We deserve to have the image of a fence-hopping, wall-scaling ice cream thief banging around in our heads a little while longer. At least until winter ends.

This screencap ^^ from Tucker Carlson’s Thursday night episode is too fitting not to use, since he spent a good deal of time complaining about “The Left” being out to get him and Fox News. It’s an almost too carefully planned stance that he adopted a day after he dropped his latest harmful conspiracy theory. This one’s about George Floyd, whose cause of death was determined to be homicide in two separate autopsies. The finer details of those reports did differ, but Tucker decided to falsely and baselessly claim to his audience that “the story they told us about George Floyd’s death was an utter lie.” He added, “There was no physical evidence that George Floyd was murdered by a cop.” Tucker then falsely claimed that Floyd “almost certainly died” from a Fentanyl overdose.

Why did Tucker Carlson bring up George Floyd? He edged into an argument that Floyd’s murder was a false flag event, and he somehow linked it to Trump’s 2nd impeachment trial while claiming that both events are meant to take down America’s “old order.” He then falsely claimed that the U.S. Capitol rioters were peaceful and never physically harmed anyone, despite the fact that two police officers (including Officer Brian Sicknick) lost their lives due to the insurrection. Carlson then suggested that Democrats orchestrated the grieving over Sicknick’s death in an effort to undermine the GOP.

In terms of outrageousness, this dangerous (not to mention convoluted) conspiracy theory is right up there with Tucker defending Kyle Rittenhouse after he murdered Kenosha protesters while asking, “How shocked are we that 17-year-olds with rifles decided they had to maintain order when no one else would?” Tucker’s definitely hitting his own personal record for conspiracy theories with his position on George Floyd, though.

People are more than outraged here and calling for Fox News to rein in Tucker’s rhetoric. They’d also like to see Tucker removed from the air and are talking about boycotts as well. One thing is certain: Tucker keeps managing to top himself.

Trevor Lawrence, barring a gigantic surprise, is going to the Jacksonville Jaguars with the No. 1 pick of the 2021 NFL Draft. Still, Lawrence got the chance to show off why he’s considered such a remarkable quarterback prospect on Friday morning at Clemson, and tucked away in the show he put on was a tribute to Kobe Bryant.

NFL Network tweeted out the list of routes that Lawrence would throw during his Pro Day. Most every sort of route that you’d expect was on the list, but tucked away towards the bottom was a route that was called “Kobe,” which was clarified as an 8 yard stop.

Unsurprisingly, Lawrence kept up with the whole “doing a Kobe tribute” thing by putting on a bit of a show. On one of his throws, Lawrence showed off his ability to move around a little bit (I suppose this makes it more of a Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl impression, but I digress) before setting his feet and launching a ball 60 yards down the field directly into the hands of his receiver.

There was also Lawrence flexing a bit and showing off his deep ball when he can just set his feet and let it rip.

While other signal callers in the 2021 Draft, namely Ohio State’s Justin Fields and BYU’s Zach Wilson, are considered potential franchise quarterbacks, Lawrence is viewed as a cut above. During his collegiate career, Lawrence completed 66.6 percent of his passes for 10,098 yards with 90 touchdowns and 17 interceptions.

Throughout Trump’s second impeachment trial, as hours of air-time were being dedicated to dissecting the former president’s inflamed speech that incited an insurrection on Jan. 6th, not one person has checked in to see if Melania is doing okay. And guys, her feelings are really hurt.

According to a report from CNN, the former first lady is a bit salty over how quickly the public has embraced her successor, Dr. Jill Biden. Trump, who’s been spending her days at a private spa in Mar-A-Lago, has commented on the magazine covers and glowing press coverage the First Lady has gotten in the first few weeks of her husband’s presidency. Multiple sources claim Trump has become “bitter” and acted “chilly” towards her husband over how he chose to leave Washington D.C., saying Melania had intended to attend Biden’s inauguration until Trump tweeted he had no plans to go.

The report also alleges that Trump, who struggled with how to address the events of Jan. 6th because of her husband’s continuing voter fraud campaign, is now regretting not being more open to the press, especially since a recent CNN poll suggested she had the “worst favorability ratings of any modern first lady upon departure from the White House.” In four years, Trump never gave an interview to a major publication. Dr. Biden has done interviews for People magazine, Parents magazine, and appeared in a Super Bowl TV spot with her husband in just a few weeks.

With all the love Dr. Biden seems to be getting from the public, Trump is now questioning her closed-off strategy and, of course, blaming her staff for her low ratings. “That seems unfair, but typical to blame everyone else,” one source commented. “Everyone knows Melania Trump does what she wants when she wants, and not one staffer on her team could have done anything to change that.”

This whole “caring what people think” mindset feels like a total 180 from the former first lady, especially since she once expressed her disdain for people’s opinions with a truly hideous fashion choice.

Thoughts and prayers to Melania, but has anyone checked in on the jacket? That’s the real question here.

Justin Timberlake responded to the wave of backlash against him sparked by the Framing Britney Spears documentary in a statement on Instagram. In the statement, he apologizes for his past actions and inactions which directly and indirectly helped turn public sentiment against both Britney Spears and Janet Jackson, two women the entertainment industry demeaned and discarded after incidents involving Timberlake.

Timberlake also acknowledged his privilege in benefitting from “a system that condones misogyny and racism.” He specifically names Spears and Jackson as the two people he wants to apologize to and explains that he felt “compelled to respond, in part, because everyone involved deserves better.” He says that he no longer wants to unfairly benefit from his privilege in the “flawed” entertainment business and states “I want to take accountability for my own missteps in all of this.”

Timberlake became the focus of an intense wave of social media backlash after the documentary premiered on Hulu, as parts of the documentary focus on his contribution to Spears’ eventual downfall in the 2000s. Specifically, his song “Cry Me A River” is cited as a turning point for entertainment media’s perception of Spears, as the song contributed to the idea that she caused their breakup, leading to pestering questions and negative public sentiment against her.

Due to the increased attention on Timberlake, fans also began to recall his inaction during the media firestorm that followed his and Janet Jackson’s 2003 Super Bowl Halftime Show performance, in which their planned choreography led to the infamous “wardrobe malfunction” that exposed Jackson’s nipple before the show’s producers could cut the lights.

The resulting anger against Jackson is widely believed to be a major contributing factor in her career downturn over the next decade, and Justin’s silence has been increasingly called a huge factor by fans as well. The growing sentiment is that he could have helped shield Janet instead of distancing himself from the incident to preserve his career, a fact he touched on but never directly apologized for when he returned to the Super Bowl in 2018.

Check out Justin’s response to the #FreeBritney backlash below.

This story is being updated.

Breakups are never easy. This is especially true when it comes to professional athletes and the cities and organizations where they’ve built a life and a career over a number of years. There’s a great deal of emotion tied up in it all, even if all the parties involved try to abide by the mantra that sports is, first and foremost, a business.

James Harden’s exit from the Houston Rockets this season was particularly ugly. Only some of that is his fault. He’d made his trade demands known to the organization, yet in doing their due diligence, it prolonged the inevitable and led to a seriously uncomfortable situation that spilled out onto the court and into the locker room.

By the time Harden had reached his breaking point, he’d already effectively alienated some teammates, who weren’t shy about voicing their frustration with the disgruntled star. Now that all of that is over, Harden has expressed remorse about how things were handled, telling Rachel Nichols of The Jump that he meant no disrespect toward his teammates, the organization, or the fans.

James Harden sits down & opens up about his new role in Brooklyn, what he didn’t like about his departure from Houston, and the Nets’ championship chances: “We’re more than confident that it’s going to be difficult for a team to beat us four times in a best-of-seven series.” pic.twitter.com/rZKkwFs1jg

— Rachel Nichols (@Rachel__Nichols) February 12, 2021

Harden’s full attention is now turned toward the enormous expectations in Brooklyn, where his new team will try to exert their power over their Eastern Conference counterparts. The trio of Harden, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Durant has shown tantalizing previews of what they’re capable of offensively, although the defensive end has left something to be desired. Still, at this point, both the Harden and the Rockets should be ready to move on and focus on their respective futures.