In a new video released on Halloween, Netflix’s The Witcher gives fans a brief glimpse of a few new monsters who will rear their (multiple) heads in Season 2. At first glance, the feature titled “Geralt’s Monster Mash” seems to be just a montage of creatures that Henry Cavill‘s white-haired Witcher dispensed with in the first season, but the video’s Instagram caption promises there’s more to it than that. “This is not a trick,” it reads, “there are two treats to be found here.”
Tucked into the video is a shot of Geralt saying, “I’ll take what I’m owed,” which is quickly followed by what looks like some sort of clawed spider monstrosity with a human eyeball. After that, three skeleton banshees pop up in the short clip, and they’re going to look very familiar to anyone’s who played The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt video game. Naturally, Geralt will find some clever way to take these creatures out, but not before getting his ass handed to him a few times, which is all part of the monster-hunting fun of the hit Netflix series.
While The Witcher doesn’t have a specific release date yet, production is still on track for a 2021 release date despite experiencing setbacks from the pandemic. But what we do have is an official synopsis of where the story will find Geralt, Ciri, and Yennefer as their paths begin to collide:
Convinced Yennefer’s life was lost at the Battle of Sodden, Geralt of Rivia brings Princess Cirilla to the safest place he knows, his childhood home of Kaer Morhen. While the Continent’s kings, elves, humans and demons strive for supremacy outside its walls, he must protect the girl from something far more dangerous: the mysterious power she possesses inside.
For you bookworms out there, Season 2 will draw heavily from “Blood of Elves,” the first The Witcher novel that kicks off the epic saga that will unfold across the Netflix series.
Even though Lil Nas X had one of the biggest singles ever in the history of pop music and/or hip-hop on his introduction to the world, not everyone enjoyed the success of “Old Town Road” or Nas’ eventual embrace of his identity. Nas previously explained he kept both his sexual orientation and his love for Nicki Minaj under wraps because of latent homophobia in the rap world and over the weekend, almost like clockwork, older rappers leaped to prove his worry correct after he dressed up as his hero Nicki for Halloween.
Fortunately, Nas is incredibly good at social media and a master of the clap back, so he was able to reverse those comments on the grumpy old men who felt the need to interject their unasked opinions on his costume. Nas has had previous run-ins with Dave East, who made his thoughts known at the height of “Old Town Road”-mania. Referencing the initial backlash against him for grousing about Nas’ music, East posted a screenshot of Nas’ Nicki costume on Instagram, writing, “And y’all was mad at me about this n****.” On the next slide, he went a step further, with the truly bigoted message, “Bati mon, bun up!”
Your obsession you have with the lgbtq community is getting weird. Do you have anything to share with the class? @DaveEastpic.twitter.com/0SGsYAqqdx
“Batty man” (or “batty boy”) is a derogatory slur for gay men in the Caribbean and Jamaica. The admonishment Dave East delivered is popular in reggae and dancehall, stemming from a religious belief that homosexuality is a sin and that gay men will “burn up.” It’s not just an idle threat; in the early 2000s The Guardian wrote about a rise in hate crimes in Jamaica — a trend that continues to this day.
Lil Nas X seemed unfazed, though, calling out the homophobia and needling East by correcting his patois spelling. “It’s ‘batty man,’” he tweeted over a screenshot of East’s posts. “N****s can’t even be homophobic the proper way smh butchering the hell out of the patois.” He followed up by pointing out how East was the one starting all the drama, as Lil Nas X “Don’t bother a soul in this industry. All I do is tweet and make bangers. Leave me alone damn.”
it’s “batty man” niggas can’t even be homophobic the proper way smh butchering the hell out of the patois https://t.co/2PLYQvKBaA
Nas also had to call out professional troll 50 Cent, who also posted photos of Nas’ costume, captioning them, “What the f*ck? Nikki, come get him!” Barring the fact that 50 also misspelled Nicki Minaj’s name, Nas wasn’t too happy about 50’s tweet, questioning, “Why u in Barb business?”
Lil Nas X’s acceptance in the mainstream meant huge strides for hip-hop but unfortunately, it looks like hip-hop still has a long way to go.
On the list of the most-viewed YouTube videos of all time, music videos occupy the majority of the top spots. For a good while, at the top of the list was the video for the original version of “Despacito” (the one that doesn’t feature Justin Bieber). Now, though, the hugely popular song has been dethroned by another mega-successful hit, albeit a very different one: The most popular video in the history of YouTube is now “Baby Shark.”
The race is currently neck and neck, and perhaps the news of a changing of the guard could prompt some back-and-forth in the rankings, since the view counts are so close: As of press time, “Baby Shark” has about 7.041 billion views while “Despacito” has around 7.038 billion.
The Fargo Frozen Five is Uproxx’s weekly collection of thoughts, observations, and goofball screencaps from each new episode the FX limited series’ fourth season. We do not guarantee that there will be five items every week. There could be four, or six, or a dozen. Who knows? This show doesn’t follow the rules. We shouldn’t have to either.
Episode 7 — “Lay Away” (or “We Should Really Figure Out Who Or What Was In That Casket”)
5. The looming mob war between the Faddas and the Cannons continues to simmer without boiling over, due mainly to a combination of Loy Cannon being maybe a little too smart and Josto Fadda being half-smart, at best. The ideas are there for Josto. He sees the angles. He just has no idea how to play them because he’s a spoiled brat whose only goal in all of this is to acquire the power he feels he’s earned as his right for being born. That’s how he can come up with a decent plan on paper — get his enemies to kill his brother and Calamita, solving two problems at once — but bungle it so thoroughly that even an increasingly unhinged Loy Cannon can see straight through it. Loy has every right to be a little off right now, too, between the loss of Doctor Senator and the alleged murder of his son Satchel and the realization that Diner’s Club is about to change the world using the very same tool — credit card, the human nature to want things today but pay for them later — that he has been pitching around town, but now with white faces in the marketing. The man is angry, as Leon and his belt wounds can attest, but he’s still composed enough to give a good speech about not stooping to his enemy’s level, and to release Gaetano after tipping him off about his brother’s plan. It’s the difference between a self-made man and a child of privilege. One has built something and knows the challenges of protecting it. The other showed up after it was built and assumes he gets to have it by birthright. There’s still a war coming, just not quite yet. Soon, though.
5a. My beautiful boy Gaetano had very little to do this week, thanks in large part to his continued status as Loy’s prisoner, with chains around his neck and limbs like the rabid rhinoceros he is. He did get in one classic Gaetano moment, though, when he appeared to be just listing off people he’s murdered and how he did it, which is a solid way to kill time while you’re being held hostage. I mean, I assume. I’ve never killed anyone or been held hostage. I do not plan to start. But still.
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4. MVP of the episode goes to one Mama Cannon The Lioness, who, in a very brief amount of screen time, managed to pull a shotgun out of nowhere like some sort of firearm-specific magician and deliver a brief monologue that opened with an excellent monologue-opening line “You ever go to the zoo?” This whole family is great at these moments, as we saw last week with Loy and his speech about the dolls, and as we’ve seen throughout the monologue-heavy season, and as we’ll see eventually if my “Satchel Cannon grows up to be Mike Milligan” theory plays. I might start asking everyone that comes to my door if they’ve been to the zoo. I’ll screw up the rest of the speech, and again, I rarely have a reason to pull a surprise shotgun on the people I interact with, but I guess it’s a good conversation starter, if nothing else.
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4a. On the subject of Odis Weff and his dolls… this guy. This Charlie Brown-ass goof. He can’t do anything without falling face-first into a snake pit. He tries to do a little surveillance and blammo, there’s Deafy Wickware in his car quoting the Bible in as ominous a way as one can quote the Bible. He tries to flee and blammo again, Cannon’s men pick him up and bring him in and now he’s a hostage. It’s not great. You get the feeling he might get on a train next week but the train will run off the tracks and straight into a river that is somehow infested with sharks despite being thousands of miles from the ocean. Absolutely incapable of winning, this guy.
3b. Oraetta killed two birds with one, uh, macaroon, I suppose, killing the hilariously pretentious Dr. Harvard — and please, let us not overlook the comedy of the stuffy hospital executive being named Dr. Harvard, which is a delight and makes me wish his first name had been, like, Yale — with poisoned Italian cookies to fulfill her weekly bloodlust, and then rummaging through his desk to find the mysterious anonymous letter that she will, one imagines, discover was written by Ethelrida in the very near future. Could she have done this without murdering the doctor, perhaps by waiting until he left or even luring him out and then poking around the office like a burglar? Perhaps. But this is not Oraetta’s style. She does not do half-measures. All of her plans start with murder and then proceed from there. Her to-do lists are very different from yours and mine.
3a. Not the point of any of this, I admit, but I have been consistently impressed that Oraetta can make these delicious baked goods — a pie that Swanee devoured without even putting it on a plate, a macaroon that made the Doctor swoon — that taste good even with all the poison in them. Even if the poisons are flavorless, baking is hard. It’s chemistry, basically. Adding or subtracting anything can throw the whole operation off-kilter. She must be some sort of maestro at it all. I would say she should start a bakery and try to profit off of these gifts, but, you know, the murders. So maybe not.
2. I know I gave the MVP to Mama Cannon just two sections ago, and I stand by it, but please do not overlook what an absolute blast Swanee Capps has been this season. From eating the poison pie and having digestive calamities all over Kansas City, to swaggering around like a Wild West outlaw, to ripping off cool one-liners on a show littered with cool one-liners. We are still very much Team Gaetano in the Fargo Frozen Five, and we will be all the way up to his almost assuredly violent and silly death, but Swanee Capps is sneaking up the rankings pretty good. I hope she and Zelmare book it east with Loy’s ticket and I hope the next season of the show takes place immediately after they set up shop in South Philly. I think Swanee would like it there. Go Birds.
1. Hey, let’s check-in at the funeral home where young Ethelrida is poking around while the deliveries come in to see… what? What is happening here?
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WHAT IS HAPPENING?
FX
COMPUTER… ENHANCE.
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ENHANCE.
FX
There are two possibilities here, maybe three. Let’s go with three:
This is just some strange dude who is hiding in a casket for reasons involving subterfuge and/or murder as part of the regular course of events on this show, and he just happens to be wearing what appears to be a silver bald cap and sunglasses
The demonic visions now afflict more people than just Ethelrida and her aunt, and it’s going to become a thing
The demonic visions are becoming real and we are about to have a lot more on our hands than a mob war, kind of like how an earlier season of the show built toward a shootout and then threw a hard left into surprise alien invasion, which would certainly make all the stuff all these characters are worrying about seem pretty trivial, as demon zombie attacks tend to do
A lot going on here. I suppose that’s the point I’m getting at.
Keeping track of all the new albums coming out in a given month is a big job, but we’re up for it: Below is a comprehensive list of the major releases you can look forward to in November. If you’re not trying to potentially miss out on anything, it might be a good idea to keep reading.
The RX is Uproxx Music’s stamp of approval for the best albums, songs, and music stories throughout the year. Inclusion in this category is the highest distinction we can bestow, and signals the most important music being released throughout the year. The RX is the music you need, right now.
The practice of seriously engaging with pop music couldn’t feel more trivial right now, even for a pop critic.
Between the looming election, a global pandemic, growing recognition and reform of continued racism in America, and the collective grief of no end in sight for extended quarantine, what place does a pop record have in the cultural discourse? Single-minded devotion to the most pressing concerns of the day seems logical when the stakes are so high, but mental and psychological respite is still necessary to survive an era of stress and revolution. In that case, consider Positions an emotional oasis in this otherwise dark(est) timeline. On her sixth full-length album, Ariana Grande returns to the campiness and joy that were a hallmark of her first three albums, updating the grand piano and slow strings with twitchy beats and explicit lyrics that unravel with a narrative precision her early work consistently lacked. Unlike the scattershot nature of Yours Truly, My Everything, and Dangerous Woman, Positions is laser-focused on one thing — her current sex life. Maybe the brevity of Thank U, Next helped her learn to self-edit, because this new record is as polished and nimble as that one.
Let’s contextualize Ariana writing an entire album about getting railed for a quick second. Recovering from trauma is a nearly superhuman feat, as is self-directing a new narrative about your life during the healing process. After facing down terrorism, losing a loved one to addiction, living with grief, and extracting herself from a toxic rebound relationship, the emotional fodder for some of the most impactful albums of Ariana’s career has been dense and dramatic. And, the universal popularity of her last two back-to-back releases only added to the pressure of an inevitable follow-up. So Positions was tasked with a difficult task from the start: Update the public on Ari’s healing, build upon the gargantuan commercial success she established in 2019, and usher in a new phase of her life. Considered through that lens, this record is just as consequential as the last two, giving us a view of Grande as the most sex-positive, happy, and in love as she’s ever been.
Blessedly free of any direct references to the current socio-political climate, and mostly skirting allusions to her own traumatic past, this quickly-announced new project cements her as an upper-echelon star who is able to shift and transform when the climate demands it. With the vaguely tropical, left-field vibe of the self-titled lead single — co-produced by London On Da Track, and reminiscent of his work with Noah Cyrus on “Fuckyounoah” — Ariana burst back onto the scene just a few weeks ago, casually announcing on Twitter her album would be out before Halloween. Using the “Positions” video as an opportunity to portray herself in a range of politicized roles, some of this feminist imagining was hard to stomach as the lyrics dictate her dual roles for a new lover are in the “kitchen and the bedroom,” a strangely retro and mildly disappointing mindset from a woman who has recently portrayed herself as much more progressive (as in, “wearing a ring but ain’t gon’ be no missus,” from her last smash, “7 Rings.”) But even if the lead-off song was a bit of a stumble, in the context of the whole project, the track is a shimmering late-album triumph, bolstered by a troupe of horny, vulnerable slow-burners that float by on the ultra-specific, relentless pop hooks she’s become so adept at writing.
The trilling opener “Shut Up” challenges any and all talking heads who might be tempted to pipe in with their opinions on Ariana’s life, and it’s the closest thing we get to a response to her ex-fiance’s Pete Davidson’s jokes at her expense. There’s little else here, lyrically at least, to indicate Pete, Mac, or even older flames like Sean and Ricky, are still on Ariana’s mind; all of their namechecks on “Thank U, Next” seem to be permanently pushed out of her head by the man who did appear on the scene to fulfill that song’s request. His name is never mentioned — actions speak louder than words. But it’s hard not to interpret songs this lyrically direct as autobiographical, and her last few records certainly set the table for fans and listeners to assume as much. If we do speculate that’s the case, then Grande’s new boyfriend Dalton Gomez is pleasing her in ways that are usually not discussed in polite company. So, please usher in impolite Ariana Grande, explicitly in love, hornier than ever, and making the best music of her life. This is the girl who licks donuts and hates America, directing her impish impulses to more, uh, productive ends.
The record’s evident standout “34 + 35” is probably the cutest litany about preparing for a long night of hooking up (“You know I keep it squeaky! / Saving up my energy”), skating the line between blunt f*ck synonyms (add the two numbers to get a sum of 69) and the sweet luxuries of monogamy. Alongside a beat-driven devotional to manifestation and positivity “Just Like Magic” and the commitment-questioning “Six Thirty,” Ari unpacks her specific desires on “My Hair” and “Nasty,” cementing the overall arc of the record as a series of sparkling, glitchy story-songs about how her sex life and love life have finally collided. Hell, at least it’s happening for someone. Instead of coming off as braggy or oversharing, the record is a welcome celebration of female pleasure, a collection of slow-burning songs anchored by wickedly funny puns and bursts of naked desire. Positions shares more DNA with an R-rated version of Grease than whatever else is going on in the contemporary R&B world, and Grande’s dirty language on this record leaves behind her former Disney star innocence forever. Thank god.
The few missteps on the album are her features, which is par for the course with Ari — no one fumbles a big name collab better than she can — and The Weeknd drags down the treacly “Off The Table” into worst song territory. Similarly, “Safety Net,” featuring Ty Dolla Sign, reaches for Drake-level emotionalism without ever connecting, and “Motive” becomes the only boring song Doja Cat’s been involved with in all of 2020. None of these derail the album, though, and nothing can go wrong for long whenever Ari’s spectacular vocals are dipping from head voice to full-blown harmony clusters to snappy, talk-sung one-liners. Her last album’s foray into hip-hop was cautious, and she’s backed further away from that here, even if her cadence sometimes indicates she’d still like to rap.
As always, Ariana’s songwriting is strongest when she’s working with her frequent female collaborators Victoria Monét and Tayla Parx, who help turn her hyper-feminine observations into cohesive thoughts that resonate far beyond the current moment. Parx’s assist on the album’s closing ballad “POV” is obvious, as gratitude for a partner’s love becomes an ambition to embrace even more self-love. Both Parx and Monet are credited on “34 + 35” and “My Hair,” which have already become fan favorites and feel like a sonic continuation of Thank U, Next’s giggliest, most confident material (“NASA,” “Make Up.”)
And just as Thank U, Next spoke clearly to the abundance of heartbreak this generation of young women have already experienced, Positions is a kind reminder that loneliness isn’t always the end of the story. Love can be a powerful rebuttal against hate, and in an era where women’s bodies are once again at risk of being legislated by crooked politicians, a female pop star glorying in her own sexual pleasure is (arguably) one small act of resistance. Think of this album as a sigh of relief, a sunspot, a cold glass of water. Grand, sweeping, classic it is not, and it needn’t be — like Thank U, Next, Positions is completely of its time. Whatever shape you’ve contoured yourself into to survive the long drag of 2020, this record serves as a reminder that a different point of view could be just around the corner.
Positions is out now via Republic Records. Get it here.
Although the pandemic stopped Halloween from being as big of a social event in 2020 as it has been in previous years, there were still plenty of great costumes on display, even if they were just inside people’s homes. The music world delivered on that front, but not everybody was in love with Travis Scott’s costume. The following two events happened in the order presented, and there may or may not be a connection between them: Scott got roasted for his Batman get-up, and Scott later deleted/deactivated his Instagram account.
The Shade Room saved and re-shared Scott’s post of his Batman outfit, which is brown (as opposed to the traditional black) and has duo-tone pants. As Buzzfeed notes, the costume quickly gained traction online, with a good amount of the feedback being not so positive. Aside from general criticism, there were comparisons to figures like the Flea from ¡Mucha Lucha! or if Batman drove for UPS.
At some point after all that, Scott’s Instagram account became inaccessible, as the @travisscott page currently shows the message, “Sorry, this page isn’t available.”
This year’s Halloween-themed episode of The Simpsons, “Treehouse of Horror XXXI,” was supposed to air in October, but it was pushed back to November 1 due to the World Series. That meant fans of the animated series had to wait two extra weeks for the conclusion of the cold open, which shows 50 of the worst things that Donald Trump has done as president. There’s “put children in cages,” “said Jewish people who vote Democrat are disloyal,” “asked the president of Ukraine to investigate the Bidens,” “served McDonald’s to Clemson football team,” and “said to swallow bleach.” But what happens next? Is that enough evidence for Homer to vote for Joe Biden? Yes and no.
No, because Homer votes for Biden (“Who are you gonna make fun of now, late-night comics?”). Yes, because it turns out Homer never actually voted. He slept through election day. We — everyone who’s already voted — should all be so lucky to snooze through a tense tomorrow; no one’s been this jealous of Homer since he invited Frank Grimes to his house for lobster. When Marge scolds Homer for not voting, he replies, “How bad can it be?” Cut to January 20, 2021, when the murder robots roam the streets.
The dramatic ride for The Rum Diary co-stars Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, who divorced four years ago (after one year of marriage), has taken another turn, and the results aren’t in Depp’s favor. The duo became embroiled in a lawsuit (filed by Depp) against British tabloid The Sun, against whom Depp sought “to clear his reputation” from potentially irreparable harm, which he alleged would be the case after a April 2018 article labeled him as a “wife-beater.” The proceedings contained three weeks of mud-slinging from both sides in a trial full of wild revelations — including “porky pies,” poo in the bed, an ice cream debacle, and alleged animal abuse — and it now appears that Depp’s desired results still evade him. And it actually turned into a really bad look from Depp’s perspective, given the U.K. approach to libel trials (more on that soon).
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Depp has not been defamed by the “wife beater” article from The Sun because a judge found that Heard’s account of physical assault by her then-husband was “substantially true.” As a result, Depp’s request for “vindication” (he did not seek an monetary award) will not be satisfied. The U.K. judge dismissed his claim in Depp v. News Group Newspapers, and in doing so, the judge referenced the word “monster” on multiple occasions with this conclusion:
“That expression was not a figment of Ms Heard’s imagination. I accept her evidence that Mr Depp used the term to refer to that part of his personality when, affected by drink and/or drugs he would do things which he would not otherwise do and of which he might have no recollection afterwards.”
“This claim is dismissed. The claimant has not succeeded in his action for libel. Although he has proved the necessary elements of his cause of action in libel, the defendants have shown that what they published in the meaning which I have held the words to bear was substantially true. I have reached these conclusions having examined in detail the 14 incidents on which the defendants rely as well as the overarching considerations which the claimant submitted I should take into account.”
What’s particularly notable with the judge’s decision is that libel cases in the United Kingdom are much easier for plaintiffs who sue tabloids than they are in the United States. In other words, the burden of proof in a U.K. courts for libel is notably lower, and Depp only needed to prove that the allegation in question (that Depp was guilty of domestic abuse) is false in order to prevail against the defendant (in this case, The Sun‘s publisher, News Group Newspapers, and executive editor Dan Wootton). That’s a reversal of the tougher U.S. standard in libel trials.
In the end, Depp — who has denied abusing Amber before or during their marriage, and, in fact, has claimed that she’s the abusive party — didn’t prove his civil case. This, of course, doesn’t mean that he has been found guilty of abuse in a criminal sense in the United Kingdom. Nor does this technically affect his pending $50 million trial against Heard in the U.S. However, that trial has already been delayed for scheduling reasons, and it wouldn’t be surprising to see Depp drop it altogether. After all, he’ll have an even harder time succeeding by U.S. defamation standards, and losing another trial would not bode well in terms of more verdict fallout and potential reputation damage.
This summer, Britney Spears referred to herself as “Queen B,” which prompted responses from fans of Lil Kim and Beyonce, who also lay claim to the title. Now, though, it appears Beyonce may have more right to that nickname throne than anybody, as she has revealed that she is a literal beekeeper.
Towards the end of a new interview with British Vogue, Beyonce was asked, “What is something I would find surprising about you?” She responded, “I know it’s random, but I have two beehives. Real ones. I’ve had them at my house for a while now. I have around 80,000 bees and we make hundreds of jars of honey a year. I started the beehives because my daughters, Blue and Rumi, both have terrible allergies, and honey has countless healing properties.”
The interviewer replied, “So, you really are the Queen B,” which got a laugh out of Beyonce.
Naturally, member of the Beyhive were excited by this revelation:
Elsewhere during the chat, Beyonce was asked what her favorite Texan food is, and she responded, “Wow. That’s tough to pick one favorite. It’s good eating in Texas! I love Cajun seafood at Pappadeaux. The barbecue in Texas is mmmm. So is the Mexican food and the soul food. We ate soul food every Sunday after church. There was nothing better than when a little bit of candied yams got on your oxtail and macaroni.”
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