Category: News

Tiger (Sunday, HBO 9:00 p.m.) — This documentary takes an intimate look at the rise, fall, and return of Tiger Woods. Our own Vince Mancini calls this an irresistible watch, and the film charts the prodigy’s obsession with his sport that led him to the highest of heights and fame, which led to a downward spiral, and eventually, an epic comeback.

Pretend It’s A City (Netflix limited series) — Marty Scorsese’s back on Netflix while directing this project revolving around long-time friend Fran Lebowitz. The series follows her “New Yorker to the core” brand of straight talking in what’s essentially a punchy guidebook that will appeal to true New Yorkers. Scorsese, too, gives his own takes on the Big Apple, so expect a double dose of attitude on everything from tourists to the subways to the arts to, yes, Times Square.

The Mystic Sisters Present: Mystery Mansion (Amazon prime special) — Inspired by cult comedies like What We Do In The Shadows and Evil Dead, this comedy special chronicles incompetent characters that face chaos and doom while also battling each other. There’s a mystical mansion and a portal of power, and everything has a very Mystery Science Theater 3000 flavor in this sketch-comedy special.

Pieces of a Woman (Netflix film) — Vanessa Kirby and Shia LaBeouf star as Martha and Sean, respectively, who experience an unimaginable tragedy when a home birth goes wrong. Martha then undertakes a yearlong odyssey while coping with grief and her relationship with Sean, which (unsurprisingly) strains under the pressure of their mutual loss. Meanwhile, Ellen Burstyn plays her overbearing mom, and Molly Parker plays the publicly shamed midwife. Look for this movie to be an awards contender.

Herself (Amazon prime film) — A single mother escapes her abusive partner and builds a new life with the help of a marvelous crew of unexpected helpers. It’s an illuminating journey that finds inspiration in, strangely, a bedtime story. Alright!

Fatale (VOD film) — This psychological thriller stars Hilary Swank and Michael Ealy. He plays a sports agent who falls in with a sexy and mysterious woman (Swank), who turns out to be a police detective. And of course, he’s risking his family, career, and life after becoming embroiled within her investigation.

Here’s the rest of this weekend’s notable programming:

Supermarket Sweep (Sunday, ABC 8:00 p.m.) — Leslie Jones and every bit of her enthusiasm will host contestants in this revival of the grocery-shopping game show.

Shameless (Sunday, Showtime 9:00 p.m.) — Guess who’s moving in next door to the Gallaghers? The Milkoviches. This should go over well at around the same time that Mickey’s picking up his new security gig for Kevin and V. Meanwhile, Debbie’s turning into a stage mom.

Your Honor (Sunday, Showtime 10:00 p.m.) — Panic-Cranstoning is still in high effect with Bryan Cranston’s bad-breaking judge realizing that he’s being blackmailed while the mob family still aims to avenge their son’s hit-and-run death. This week, Adam tangles with a dangerous love interest, and Michael’s trying to wiggle away from his blackmailer.

History of Swear Words (Netflix series) — A Nic Cage series? Yes please. A Nic Cage series where he teaches us lessons about expletives? Give it to me now. Cage hosts here with an array of guests — including Jim Jefferies, Zainab Johnson, Nick Offerman, Sarah Silverman, Baron Vaughn, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Joel Kim Booster, DeRay Davis, Open Mike Eagle, Nikki Glaser, Patti Harrison, London Hughes — to dive deep into his proudly profane stance. Over the course of six episodes, you’ll learn about the origins of “F*ck,” “Sh*t,” “B*tch,” “D*ck,” “Pu**y,” and “Damn.”

In case you missed these picks from last weekend:

Cobra Kai: Season 3 — (Netflix series) The good news? This The Karate Kid revival is still as much of an adrenaline shot as the last two rounds. The bad news? It’s also infuriatingly good. After Johnny and Daniel’s combined bad moves contributed heavily to Miguel landing in a hospital bed, Johnny’s looking for redemption. While he does the hard work in the hospital — and Kreese re-takes the dubious reigns of the Cobra Kai dojo, which makes me worried about him instructing Hawk to be even more of an anger-bear monster — Daniel-san heads to Okinawa, where an old rival is ready for him. The soul and fate of every sensei (and their students) are up for grabs.

Vikings: Season 6B — (Amazon Prime) The final ten episodes of the History Channel series are making their debut on streaming first. The epic saga comes to a close with grave consequences from the confrontations between the Vikings and the Rus. Ivar the Boneless has a last reckoning with the King, and there’s unfinished business all over England. Get ready for (of course) a violent and bloody end to the show.

The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina: Part Four — (Netflix series) The Riverdale spinoff will come to a (planned) end with this installment starring Kiernan Shipka. This time around, the Devil-afflicted Nick’s attempting to win Sabrina back after surrendering to his darker urges, but The Eldritch Terrors have descended upon Greendale, and The Void could truly be the End of All Things. Can the Fright Club save the day? I’m (strangely) pulling for Harvey over here. And Salem the Cat. Meow.

After a story at The Athletic dropped on Friday morning detailing how John Collins and Clint Capela criticized Trae Young during a Hawks film session earlier this week, Atlanta media asked Young about his response to the situation, and Young responded that nothing out of the ordinary happened at those conversations are part of a young team getting better.

Young struggled in the next game he played on Wednesday, taking only nine shots in a home loss to Charlotte, but his words on Friday indicated he may have moved on.

“That’s just what happens,” Young said.

It’s hard to tell here where one fissure begins and another ends. Tension between Young and head coach Lloyd Pierce has been reported on multiple times over the course of the past two seasons, and of course Collins’ contract extension negotiations became public prior to the NBA deadline last fall as he turned down a new deal in order to face restricted free agency in 2021. Pierce in the past has expressed that he wants to give Young the space to develop as a leader.

It is also clearly true that Young plays a style that does not involve sophisticated offensive sets and can often phase his teammates out of the offense. Young is not the only one in the NBA who plays this way, but unlike guys like James Harden or Luka Doncic, it has not led to his team making the postseason. However, Atlanta is also just 4-4 and still has a solid shot at being in the playoff conversation in the East, so they have plenty of runway to figure things out if this ends up being put in the past.

Friday is a sad day for Jeopardy! fans, as the syndicated game show is set to air the final episode Alex Trebek taped as host before he died of pancreatic cancer in November. Many have paid tribute to Trebek as his final episodes air, including past champions and those who have appeared on the show in the past.

But former Jeopardy! champion and Greatest Of All Time Tournament participant Brad Rutter is doing his best to lighten the mood with a great story that showcased a little-seen side of the late game show host. People detailed a radio interview Rutter gave with WOGL on Thursday where the show veteran described a moment from the Ultimate Tournament of Champions in 2005. Back then, Rutter was not as veteran a big-game Jeopardy! player, and the tournament pitted him against Jeopardy! GOAT Ken Jennings and Jereme Vered.

Rutter explained that the trio were nervous before the match and someone joked that to ease tensions someone should should play without their pants on, a riff on some common advice to imagine a crowd naked if you’re nervous. But it turns out that Trebek got wind of the joke and wanted to play along.

“What we didn’t know was that our mics were live, and Alex heard us,” Rutter said.

When the announcer introduced Trebek, the longtime host decided to have some fun with the three competitors. “Alex came out with no pants on,” Rutter recalled.

Rutter added that Trebek’s sense of humor came out “even more so in person than you would see on the show.”

“You’re really just not allowed to talk about much,” he told WOGL of being on Jeopardy! “I was lucky enough to be on the show so often that I got to know Alex a little.”

Trebek’s humor has appeared on the show in other forms over the years, but it was a notable break from the usually stoic character he displayed as trivia master on the show. It’s what made those SNL sketches about celebrities messing with Will Ferrell’s Trebek so funny: the idea of the Jeopardy! host suffering on their account. Rutter also co-signed another good Trebek story earlier in the week that spoke to who the show host was.

It is nice, though, to know that Trebek was also willing to risk a bit of public embarrassment in order to deliver a joke. And it’s a lovely example of why so many people over the years recall their time on Jeopardy! and around its legendary host so fondly.

[via People]

The holidays can take a real toll on us. And we’re not just talking about the stressors and anxiety that come from spending time (even via Zoom) with uncles, aunts, cousins, and our immediate families. We’re also referencing all the eating and drinking that December is known for.

One too many scoops of grandma’s famous lasagna or that extra pint of barrel-aged stout can make a person feel the need for a seasonal detox.

But we’re not the types to swear off alcohol until February 1st. We like our moderation in moderation. Instead, we’ll spend the weeks (and maybe months) after the holidays taking it a little easier in the alcohol department. To help in that endeavor, we went to the pros — asking a handful of our favorite bartenders to tell us the best low alcohol beers to drink this January.

Bell’s Oarsman Ale

ABV: 4%

Brandon “Habi” Habenstein, bartender at The Kitchen & Bar at Bardstown Bourbon Co. in Bardstown, Kentucky

It’s hard to find a session beer that’s not an IPA. Bell’s Brewery makes a beer called Oarsman Ale. It was kind of like a berlinerweiss, a classic German-style that’s low abv and a little tart. It has this delightful, ghostly body, making it the ultimate palate cleanser.

This beer is absolutely delicious with food.

Cass Fresh Beer

ABV: 4.5%

Cari Hah, formerly bar manager at Café Alcove in Loa Angeles

My go-to low alcohol beer is Cass Fresh Beer. It is a Korean lager that is crisp and refreshing. Perfect to wash down Korean barbecue.

Dogfish Head Slightly Might

ABV: 4%

Demetrëa Dewald, lead bartender at Bar Mateo at Zinc Café in Los Angeles

Slightly Mighty IPA by Dogfish Head is a solid low-ABV beer coming in at 4% ABV and only 95 calories, that’s fewer calories than a white claw and a heck of a lot more flavor and pizzazz. Delicately hoppy on the nose and light and fruitful on the palate, with hints of pineapple and mango.

For low-ABV and low-calorie beer, I’ve found Slightly Mighty to be a great choice – it’s light but still carries a wallop of flavors, giving you the joy of a good beer without the guilt.

Speciation Artisan Ales Michelada

ABV: 5%

Sarah Kemp, beertender at Living The Dream Brewing in Littleton, Colorado

Michelada from Speciation Artisan Ales and Untitled Art is one of my favorite crushable beers. Lime, Tabasco, and salt are perfectly balanced to create this sour with a flavorful punch and an ABV of 5%.

Viva Mexico!

Colima Cayaco

ABV: 3.9%

Hayden Miller, head bartender at Bodega Taqueria y Tequila in Miami

Colima Cayaco is a fantastic, light cerveza coming in around 3.9% that goes great with warm weather (if you can find some!) and agave (like tequila!).

New Glarus Spotted Cow

ABV: 4.8%

Alex Tack, bartender at Rex 1516 in Philadelphia

My favorite sessionable beer I’ve ever had is New Glarus’ Spotted Cow Farmhouse Ale. It has a fairly intricate flavor profile for being such a drinkable beer. It has the floral, grassy notes of a saison, the malt profile of a hefeweizen, and a nice creamy texture. Saisons and hefeweizens are my two favorite styles, so that feels like a no-brainer.

I sometimes wish I lived in Wisconsin solely to have regular access to this beer.

WellBeing Heavenly Body

ABV: 0%

Andy Printy, beverage director at Chao Baan in St. Louis

Heavenly Body from WellBeing brewing is a great 0% brew made for those who want a solid beer, but none of the ABV. Made in the style of American wheat and kissed by both Cascade and German traditional hops. It’s crisp, citrusy, and has a great, balanced finish.

54-40 Kascadia Kolsch

ABV: 4.8%

Justin Moses, wine director at Sand Valley in Nekoosa, Wisconsin

Kascadia Kolsch from 54-40 Brewing Co. out of Washington state is a refrigerator staple. Crisp, clean, and always fresh. Floral hops and slight maltiness lets you know that you’ve got a quality brew in your hand. And, at 4.8% ABV, you can easily have a couple after work or on the golf course.

Bell’s Light-Hearted Ale

ABV: 3.7%

Gavin Humes, bartender at Scratch|Bar & Kitchen in Encino, California

Bell’s Light-Hearted Ale is probably my go-to for a crushable low ABV beer. With pine tree and some subtle citrus from the hops, but not an overwhelming hoppy characteristic, it’s balanced and easy to drink. You can definitely down quite a few before your day starts to go sideways.

Founders All Day IPA

ABV: 4.7%

Zachary Sjodin, bartender at Coastal County Brewing Company in Pensacola, Florida

My low-ABV beer is always Founders All Day IPA. It’s only 4.7% and has a great, straightforward hoppy IPA taste.

Sometimes the best new R&B can be hard to find, but there are plenty of great rhythm and blues tunes to get into if you have the time to sift through the hundreds of newly released songs every week. So that R&B heads can focus on listening to what they really love in its true form, we’ll be offering a digest of the best new R&B jams that fans of the genre should hear every Friday.

Jazmine Sullivan — Heaux Tales

Only a week into the year and Jazmine Sullivan has blessed the R&B world with Heaux Tales, her latest project after nearly 5 years of laying low on the scene with only single drops here and there such as the powerful “Insecure” featuring Bryson Tiller off 2017’s Insecure Soundtrack. Jazmine has been getting everyone ready for this moment. “Pick Up Your Feelings” and “Girl Like Me” with H.E.R. were all the signs of what Heaux Tales turns out to be. Upon closer listen, fans will find more goodness on her honest collection of songs including “Price Tags” featuring Anderson .Paak and the sensual “On It” with Ari Lennox’s buttery vocals. Heaux Tales was named as one of Uproxx’s Most Anticipated Albums of 2021, and here it is.

Dvsn — “Use Somebody”

“Use Somebody” is Dvsn’s beautiful interpretation of rock band Kings Of Leon’s Grammy Award-winning hit song from 2008. The song is yet another sneak peek into what the OVO Sound duo has in store with their forthcoming project, Amusing Her Feelings. Nineteen85 softens the vibe and Daniel takes the energy to a different space in a way that only these two could have re-imagined.

Nao — “Antidote” feat. Adekunle Gold

On the vibrant “Antidote,” Nao taps in with Nigerian hitmaker Adekunle Gold and delivers a music video to go with it. “’Antidote’ is the remedy to 2020, it’s a song born out of lockdown which was something that affected everybody’s lives all over the world,” Nao expresses in a statement. “Both Adekunle and I had daughters born weeks apart during this time, they lifted our vibrations and we wanted to share that good energy with the rest of the world.”

VanJess — “Curious”

Sister duo VanJess serves sensuality on a platter with their latest release “Curious” featuring Jimi Tents and Los Angeles’ own Garren. This track follows Ivana and Jessica Nwokike previously released “Slow Down” and “Come Over.”

SZA — “Shirt”

“Shirt” isn’t necessarily a new release from SZA (check out “Good Days” and “Hit Different” for that), it’s merely a snippet of her collaboration with legendary producer Rodney “Dark Child” Jerkins on a loop that she teased back in October. TikTok is currently eating this one up and for good reason. Hopefully, SZA will make this release official.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

It’s one of the most memorable scenes on HBO’s Game of Thrones: Ned Stark is executed by Ser Ilyn Payne for the crime of being too honorable (and also kind of a dummy). Sean Bean, the actor who played Robb, Jon (kind of), Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon’s papa, has previously revealed what Ned’s final words were before losing his head, and in a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, he discussed what was going through his mind while shooting the iconic scene.

“It was horror and disbelief — that Joffrey changed his mind [about exiling Ned] — and then resignation and [realizing that he was] seeing his daughter for the last time, Arya,” he said. “I was trying to think of all four [things]. It wasn’t just, ‘Oh God, I’m getting my head chopped off.’ Those mix of feelings is what made it what it was, I suppose.” Bean explained that the beheading scene took a whole day to film, “so you have to just keep focused on the fact that you’re about to meet your death without messing around. I was very hot at the time, so that probably helped. And everybody else’s reactions were fantastic — Cersei and the kids. It was very moving with a lot of pathos in that scene. Then I put my head in the block and I was finished for the day.” And for the series.

Bean has been in a lot of fine television shows and movies, including The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Wolfwalkers, which you should absolutely watch. But his defining role is on a series that he only appeared in nine episodes of. Even Jason Momoa made it longer. That must be weird for Bean, but at least he’s used to it.

(Via EW)

Quibi isn’t dead. It simply took a nice nap and needed a new streaming media deal to bring it to the masses. At least, this involves the content on Quibi that was trapped there when the streaming company with more than $1.5 billion in seed money failed amid a pandemic year and a less-than-stellar adoption rate in 2020.

Variety reported a deal between Roku and what’s left of the Icarus’d streaming company that both debuted and died last year. The pact will reportedly bring Quibi’s content to Roku via a free streaming channel that will give a much larger audience access to the quick bites Quibi spent so much money creating.

The problems that sunk Quibi are many, but now those who missed out on giving the platform and its shows a chance will get the opportunity if they own the right streaming device. The deal will put all 75 Quibi shows on the Roku Channel, an ad-supported channel available to millions of users who have smart TVs and other Roku streaming devices:

Financial terms of the pact were not disclosed. A source familiar with the agreement said Roku is paying “significantly” less than $100 million for the Quibi library, confirming an earlier Wall Street Journal report. Rob Holmes, Roku’s VP of programming, said in an interview, “We do think this deal represents a great value.”

“Fundamentally, we think that Quibi has created great, high-quality content,” Holmes told Variety. “It’s a great value proposition for our users… We’re pivoting from Quibi’s SVOD model to an ad-supported model, and this type of new, original content is not usually available for free.”

It’s hard to overstate just how many more people this lets view Quibi content, as the platform never truly took off. Consider, for example, how Warner Bros. got HBO Max into the Roku ecosystem as movies were scheduled to land there there in 2021. It’s estimated Roku now has more than 50 million users, a huge amount of eyeballs that Quibi simply never saw even on a free trial.

There are some perks to the deal. Interestingly, Quibi shut down before it had actually debuted all of that original content, including a Stephen Spielberg horror series that will now debut on Roku Channel:

More than a dozen Quibi shows will debut on the Roku Channel for first time. Those include “The Now,” a suicide-themed comedy from Peter Farrelly, and “Slugfest,” a docuseries based on the story of Marvel vs DC comics from the Russo brothers. Another evidently will be “Spielberg’s After Dark,” a horror series from Steven Spielberg (which originally was designed to be viewed only after sunset on Quibi).

At the very least, it means the shows will all see the light of day and screens that do not fit into people’s pockets. And it’s an opportunity to finally find out what was going on with all of those viral clips of Rachel Brosnahan getting buried with a golden hand. Finally, 2021 begins to bring us closer together instead of further tearing us apart.

(Via Variety)

Like many artists, failed erotic wallpaper salesman Nick Cave was forced to cancel a tour in 2020. He made the best of his time, though, telling fans in a post on his website that it was “time to make a record.” Sure enough, it looks like that’s just what he’s done, as Cave noted in his latest dispatch.

In a new post, Cave wrote about how he’s been doing during lockdown, calling the experience “weirdly familiar” since he “was a heroin addict for many years and self-isolating and social distancing were the name of the game.” He also wrote about how he has missed performing and concluded the post, “Anyway, as promised in my last issue, I did go into the studio — with [Warren Ellis] — to make a record. It’s called Carnage.”

Read Cave’s full note below.

“In many ways lockdown has felt weirdly familiar, like I’ve experienced it before. I guess this should come as no surprise as I was a heroin addict for many years and self-isolating and social distancing were the name of the game. I am also well acquainted with the mechanics of grief — collective grief works in an eerily similar way to personal grief, with its dark confusion, deep uncertainty and loss of control. For me, lockdown feels like a state mandated version of more of the same — a formalisation of the kind of hermit-like behaviour to which I’ve always been predisposed, and so, as difficult as it has been to see the devastation and anguish caused by the pandemic — including to the lives of those close to me, and many who have written into The Red Hand Files — I have been doing okay.

I am surprised, though, at just how hard not being able to play live has felt. I have come to the conclusion that I am essentially a thing that tours. There is a terrible yearning and a feeling of a life being half-lived. I miss the thrill of stepping onto the stage, the rush of the performance, where all other concerns dissolve into a pure animal interrelation with my audience. I miss the complete surrender to the moment, the loss of self, the physicalness of it all, the feeding frenzy of communal love, the religion, the glorious exchange of bodily fluids — and The Bad Seeds themselves, of course, in all their reckless splendour, how I miss them. As much as sitting behind my desk can bring me a lot of joy, and the imagination can be a stimulating, even dangerous place, I long for the wanton abandon of the live performance.

Anyway, as promised in my last issue, I did go into the studio — with Warren — to make a record.

It’s called CARNAGE.

Love, Nick.”

Meghan McCain is having a rough week on The View. The daughter of John McCain is doing her best to uphold his conservative legacy but also seems to completely misunderstand what protections the First Amendment allows to citizens of the United States.

McCain has spent her week demanding that Trump voters be respected, then a good portion of them tried to overthrow the seat of government at the behest of Donald Trump. And now it seems she lacks the basic understanding of the very nation’s constitution we’ve seen seditionists try to upend in real-time on Wednesday. Thankfully, a sitting US senator was on the program on Friday and was able to explain the difference between the right to freedom of speech and how it applies to the publishing industry.

The Daily Beast had the details on Friday, sharing video of McCain learning about the Bill of Rights. The View later tweeted the video as well, as McCain asked a pointed question of Chris Murphy, a senator from Connecticut, about Josh Hawley’s book being canceled by Simon and Schuster a day after he helped incite a riot on Capitol Hill that, as of this publication, has left five people dead.

McCain called Hawley’s book being canceled “an echo of the New York Times canceling senator Tom Cotton over his national guard op-ed,” a writing the paper of record published in which a sitting senator encouraged state-sanctioned brutality against nonviolent protesters advocating for better treatment of people of color by police. Murphy didn’t hold back in responding to what’s often a common trope among the right: that being deplatformed by corporations for violent and dangerous rhetoric is somehow a First Amendment issue.

“Nobody’s robbing Josh Hawley of his First Amendment rights. He can go and speak on the Senate floor,” Murphy said. “He can go speak on a street corner. Nobody’s locking him up for saying what he thinks, for leading an insurrection against the federal government.”

Murphy noted that Simon and Schuster is a public company, and therefore Hawley’s First Amendment rights are not being infringed upon by a business decision.

“They’ve made a decision that it is going to hurt their business to be associated with Josh Hawley,” Murphy said. “You have to accept the consequences of engaging in such outrageous behavior as riling up people to march on the United States Capitol. And so if that means you can’t make money off of a book, then so be it.”

McCain, who days earlier advocated for Hawley to be the next president of the country he tried to incite a mob against, called for “unification” and asked how Murphy can help achieve that. But the senator made it clear he wasn’t the one trying to overthrow the will of the people and declare Donald Trump president after he lost a fair and free election.

“Let’s talk to Josh Hawley about that,” Murphy said. “He had an opportunity on Wednesday night to withdraw his objection. The Senate was almost burned down, and he had a decision to make afterwards. He could have withdrawn his seditional objection to Pennsylvania, he knew he wasn’t going to win, but he kept going after four people had died.

“You want to talk about bringing this country together,” Murphy continued, “Then let’s hold the people accountable.”

Murphy was asked if Hawley should resign, and he didn’t outright call for it on Friday. Others, including those in the Senate, have said just that.

Anyway, McCain sounded a bit miffed about how things went on Twitter on Friday.

Perhaps she could also look at her pocket constitution and learn a few things while she’s relaxing as well.

Netflix’s latest release, Pieces Of A Woman, is proof that arthouse filmmakers still haven’t tired of exploring grief. It’d be one thing if they had something interesting or entertaining to say about grief (and some do, Hesher and Babyteeth come to mind) but so often it seems filmmakers just want an excuse to stage those oh-so-cinematic moments, like a tear falling gently onto a photograph, or Shia Labeouf screaming “WHYYYYY!” at a frozen harbor. Some people just want to see the world wallow.

Pieces of a Woman, from Hungarian director Kornél Mundruczó (White God) and writer Katá Weber (executive produced by Martin Scorsese, whatever that means) stars Vanessa Kirby and Shia Labeouf as a Boston married couple who lose their baby during a home childbirth. They then spend the rest of the film doing grief-y stuff, like lashing out at family members, descending into self-destructive vice, and screaming at harbors. WHY, HARBOR, WHY???

The home birth itself takes a full 30 minutes of screen time, with Vanessa Kirby bellowing to the heavens at every contraction and acting inexplicably doped up in between. It’s a home birth with no drugs administered, so I’m not sure why she seems drunk. It’s one of a handful of odd artistic choices during the sequence, like the frequent focus on Kirby’s very fake-looking stomach, an effect it seems like they could’ve either spent more time constructing or just not shot in so many close-ups. It’s also a little unclear what drew this pair together, Kirby playing the bourgie avocado toast yuppie, LaBeouf the squirrely, blue-collar knucklehead with an unexplained accent.

Playing Kirby’s manic, inexplicably cholo-sounding husband, Sean, LaBeouf seems to have retained a bit of the accent from his previous role, as Creeper in David Ayer’s execrable The Tax Collector (which LaBeouf was actually pretty good in). The out-of-step accent is extra noticeable on account of Kirby’s character being named “Martha.” LaBeouf’s soft, SoCal R pronunciation comes through every time he says her name, which is a lot. MORtha. MORtha? MORtha! MORtha?! Sidenote: how many women under 50 do you know named Martha?

The baby dies, leaving many to wonder whether it was all the fault of their midwife, played by Molly Parker. Emphatic in this belief is Martha’s rich mom, played by Ellen Burstyn, a controlling old money sort who naturally hates Shia LaBeouf and his overemphasized cholo Rs. Iliza Shlesinger as Martha’s sister, Bennie Safdie from Uncut Gems as her brother-in-law, and Succession‘s Sarah Snook as her cousin/lawyer round out a pretty nice ensemble cast. (Netflix must call Iliza Shlesinger every time they have a spare character from Boston.)

From there, the movie goes on to combine excruciating symbolism with the usual tropes of arthouse grief. Sean and Martha engage in some light infidelity (including a hilarious extended closeup of Shia LaBeouf’s pubic patch, the Muff LaBeouf, as I call it), and Martha proceeds to: 1. smash their framed ultrasound pictures 2. pop an exercise ball with the lit end of her cigarette (what’s the opposite of “pregnant” with symbolism?) 3. and take up apple seed cultivation as a hobby (get it, man? she’s creating life!). If I never saw another oh-so-symbolic art movie moment involving an apple I could die a happy man.

At one point, Ellen Burstyn gets to deliver a lengthy monologue about her past as a Holocaust baby, which slowly turns into a parable about how the grieving Martha should act. The speech is fitfully compelling, as it always is watching Burstyn chew scenery, but so overly dramatic and out of left field that it’s a little reminiscent of Mike Myers’ parody Oscar monologue in Wayne’s World. And another thing! I! Never! Learned! To Read!

LaBeouf’s character, meanwhile, a recovering alcoholic construction worker, is manic, borderline abusive, and seemingly always on the verge of becoming unhinged. He’s arguably the most compelling element of the film, even as he seems like might’ve wandered in from a different movie. He teeters on the cusp of real violence and comes frighteningly close, but it feels almost like he spooked the filmmakers in the process. Eventually, they sort of just shunt his character aside and carry on with the rest of the movie.

There’s a courtroom drama sequence involving the midwife that briefly threatens to turn Pieces of A Woman interesting, but even that soon dissolves into corny grief clichés and ends before it can really get going. The film ultimately concludes with arguably the most groan-worthy apple visual. Perhaps as the filmmakers’ way of saying, “So, guys? How do you like them apples?”

Personally, I think if we’re going to spend 30 minutes watching a woman give birth to a dead baby, we deserve more justification than a few good Ellen Burstyn scenes and a bushel of apple metaphors. Come for the grieving, stay for Shia LaBeouf’s pubes.

‘Pieces Of A Woman’ premieres January 8th on Netflix. Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.