Thank goodness for John Oliver for keeping things weird while the world burns around us. The Last Week Tonight host recently saw his (only attainable) “dream” come true — one that might be even better than accepting an Emmy while wearing a hoodie. While feeling the afterglow of that honor, Oliver confessed that his remaining ambition for 2020 was to have a sewage plant in Danbury, Connecticut named after him.
If that doesn’t speak to the dumpster fire that this year has been, than I’m not sure what else would qualify. Well, there’s some fantastic news coming for those who’ve been watching this story. Not only did the Danbury city council vote almost unanimously to officially rename the facility as the John Oliver Memorial Sewer Plant, but Oliver will be present at a rechristening ceremony. He’s either actually made this decision on his own, or Mayor Boughton is trolling him so that he has to show up, but either way, Oliver is on the ribbon-cutting calendar.
Boughton told the Greater Danbury Chamber of Commerce on Thursday that Oliver “agreed to come to the city.” Via the Danbury NewsTimes:
“We’re still working out the details on that to cut the ribbon on the John Oliver Memorial Sewer Plant, which we renamed last week,” Boughton said. “We’ll be putting something up on Facebook about that, but it won’t be available or open to the public, unfortunately, as they’re very strict in terms of the COVID-19 regulations.”
This event (please let the ceremonial ribbon be brown) will end a lengthy (mock) feud between Oliver and Boughton, who called the host “full of crap.” Oliver was actually delighted to hear the insult but then disappointed to hear that it was only a joke, at which point he opened his wallet and made a $55,000 donation to the city. After the Emmys, he gushed, “My dream this year is to have a sewage plant named after me in Danbury, Connecticut… And I’m close. I feel like I’m real close.”
Previously, Oliver enthusiastically faux-raged in front of his HBO audience, and that reached an apex in August, “Listen, I didn’t know that I wanted my name on your sh*t factory… But now that you floated it as an option, it is all that I want.” And he’s teaching us all to never give up on his dreams, no matter how silly they might seem.
David West is one of the most thoughtful people in basketball, but his latest take, that Andrea Bargnani would be a dominant scoring force in the NBA if he played right now, is a bit surprising. But West was certain of it in an appearance on Basketball News’ NBA Finals Watch Party last week, and that the same was true of Chris Bosh.
Here’s West’s explanation:
“I thought about this the other day. When [Andrea] Bargnani and [Chris] Bosh were in Toronto, the reason why that sh** didn’t work is ’cause the NBA let us beat them up! We beat up Bargnani, they let us body Bosh.
“Like, Bosh and Bargnani right now, they would blow this NBA out of the water. They were damn near impossible to guard. I’m serious. The only reason Bargnani didn’t have a (successful) career was ’cause the referees let people like me beat him up!
“In today’s game, he would be killin’ because he would be protected. Ryan, you know, you remember — he would try that sweep at the three-point line; they wasn’t giving him that sh**, that rip-through. We could grab both arms.”
Now, it’s hard to say why West coupled Bosh, a perennial All-Star, two-time NBA champion, and potential Hall of Famer, alongside Bargnani, one of the biggest busts from the No. 1 pick slot in NBA history, but his point stands. We see many more slender scorers at forward these days than we did in the early 2010s, when these two were battling bigger bruisers inside.
At the same time, players like Dirk Nowitzki and LaMarcus Aldridge were able to succeed in the frontcourt despite less-than-elite athleticism, while many more athletic and strong scoring forwards like Michael Beasley and Derrick Williams failed to make good on their promise in the NBA despite matching up better with the old era of the league.
Still, as one of the only players who could match up with just about anyone on the inside because of his physicality and smarts, it’s not surprising West would be the one to make this observation.
Once autumn begins in full, people all over the northern half of the US (and parts of California) decide that the most exciting weekend activity imaginable is driving out of the city to an apple orchard to pick their own apples. It’s always a thing that sounds cool and ends up being a more mid-level fun thing — unless there are fresh apple cider donuts on hand, in which case it moves waaaaaay up the “fall weekend activity ranking.”
Regardless of whether or not you’re hitting orchards for a little you-pay-them-type manual labor anytime soon, apples are synonymous with autumn. Fall is the time for apple pie, apple cider, and, perhaps most importantly, applejack and other apple-flavored spirits.
To find bottles of apple-centric booze for fall, we decided to head to the experts for advice. We asked some of our favorite bartenders to tell us the best applejack and apple-flavored spirits to drink before the leaves drop.
Crown Royal Regal Apple Whisky. You can drink it neat or mix it with sparkling apple cider. With the crisp apple flavor and notes of cinnamon spice, you start to forget that you are drinking whisky.
Laird’s Bottled in Bond
Andy Printy, beverage director at Chao Baan in St. Louis
Laird’s remains the champ! It’s America’s oldest registered distillery and a staple of early saloons. They harvest their own Pennsylvania apples and do a ton to support the bartending community. The balance of Apple to toasted oak is a profile designed to be the harbinger of autumn.
Their “bonded” expression is heftier in the ABV, but easily just as delicious.
I am a big fan of Barking Irons Applejack. It’s locally made with delicious New York apples; the cider is produced Upstate and the aging process taking place in a stillhouse in Brooklyn. Their original aged 100 proof Applejack has fragrant caramel and baking spice notes, and their un-aged 80 proof is crisp and perfect in lighter style cocktails.
Old Hampshire Blended Applejack works great in bourbon or cognac cocktails as a subtle introduction of apple flavor. This 100% New Hampshire apple-made applejack is sweet, rich, and full of cinnamon and vanilla flavors.
Laird’s Straight Applejack 86
Max Stampa-Brown, beverage director at Borrachito in New York City
Laird’s Straight Applejack 86, that’s all you really need. I ordered too much of it at a bar I worked at not long ago and wound up making a warm glühwein (mulled wine) with it. Tasted like apples and raspberry jelly on a toasted slice of whole wheat. People were upset that it only lasted a week.
Leopold Bros New York Apple Whiskey
Mitchell Cochran, bar manager at Shades Bar & Grill in South Walton, Florida
Leopold Bros New York Apple Whiskey. It has a very real apple flavor. It is easy to drink on the rocks but also goes great with Sprite and cranberry juice to bring fall flavors together.
Koval Apple Brandy
Brendan Bartley, head bartender and beverage director at Bathtub Gin in New York City
The best applejack is from Koval Distillery, in Chicago. Their ethos towards distilling is something I really love. They have a grain-to-bottle mentality and care where they source their products for distillation. In this case, apple-farm-to-bottle is the order of the day.
This, to me, is a sipping applejack. Aged in whiskey barrels, it has hints of vanilla and oatmeal, slight banana as well. But it’s a mellow smooth mouthfeel, like a creaminess to it. This has few sharp edges on it, and I think it’s a great way to spend a few hours watching the world go by during fall.
Laird’s Blended Applejack is the beginning and end of this conversation. Basically, their entire lineup provides the complexity and depth that I’m looking for. It’s got just enough wood, with the sweetness of the apples to be a fantastic sipping applejack, or fantastic in a cocktail.
Writer’s Pick:
Copper & Kings American Apple Brandy
This applejack was finished in bourbon and new American oak barrels. The result is a 92 proof, rich, subtly sweet brandy with hints of apple pie, vanilla, and caramelized sugar.
Donald Trump’s attempt to buy the Buffalo Bills in 2014 is a quest largely lost to the history of all that followed. Perhaps this world is very different if neither Jon Bon Jovi or fracking billionaire Terry Pegula exist, but they do and the latter now owns New York’s only NFL franchise.
Trump went on, of course, to run for president and win, while Bon Jovi is still making music and gotten a bit more politically active as well. But in a recent interview with GQ UK, he revealed he’s very much not over his failed attempt to buy the Bills, calling it “one of the biggest disappointments” of his life. He also still has special ire for Trump, who schemed out a reported ratf*cking campaign against Bon Jovi and his bidding partners in the city of Buffalo as a way to turn public opinion against the rivals.
In case this moment was truly lost to history for you, the sale of the Bills after the death of owner Ralph Wilson became a high-profile bidding war in 2014, as Trump publicly threw his hat in the ring along with a Toronto-based ownership group led by Bon Jovi. Rumors at the time were that Bon Jovi’s group eventually wanted to relocate the Bills, and Trump jumped on that in an attempt to gain public favor for himself.
Allegedly Trump had also been interested in buying the Bills, but he knew he would be unable to outbid Bon Jovi and his Toronto-based partners, so he hired Republican operative Michael Caputo – who has previously worked as a political consultant for Boris Yeltsin and Vladimir Putin – and they incited a grassroots campaign to turn the people of Buffalo against him.
A group of activists called “12th Man Thunder” sprung up and began establishing “Bon Jovi-free zones” in the city, with Caputo pulling the strings from behind the scenes. Radio DJs in the city refused to play his songs on air.
While Trump and Bon Jovi were fighting, however, the numbers were in another bidder’s favor. Anyone who was paying attention in Buffalo at the time of the sale could tell you that it was always going to be Pegula — the wealthiest of all parties involved — with the highest bid and his ownership of the Buffalo Sabres already signaled he was committed to keeping the team in Buffalo long-term. Trump and Bon Jovi may have jockeyed for position with each other but, quite frankly, they were both worried about the wrong guy the whole time. And when it came time for the bidding, that’s exactly what happened.
“We showed up with a billion three, sitting there with a cheque. And we could have easily bought it at any price. We didn’t get to get back in the room. [Pegula] said, ‘What do I have to do to not leave this table without owning the team?’”
Bon Jovi claims he could have paid “any price,” but the Toronto Sun reported in 2019 that the Pegulas paid $1.4 billion for the team, a record at the time. The paper also claims Bon Jovi’s group had a final bid of $1.05 billion. Trump, meanwhile, reportedly submitted a bid of just $800 million, though the Sun reported that Trump never actually submitted a final bid for the team at all. Bon Jovi and Trump both apparently seem keep to fudge the numbers here, but one thing the rocker is adamant about is that he was never going to move the team to Toronto.
A large part of the scheme involved convincing the fans that Bon Jovi and his partners intended to move the team to Canada, which Bon Jovi strenuously denies. “I can tell you, I swear to you on a stack of Bibles, because I had to have this hardy conversation with the two partners: ‘We’re not gonna get this unless we keep this here,’” he says, recalling the incident, which he calls “one of the biggest disappointments” of his life. “We never saw it coming. I was calling the town councilman, telling him, ‘I’m moving to Buffalo, New York!’”
We’ll never know what would have happened to the Bon Jovi Bills. But it’s clear that, despite more than six years removed from the incident, Bon Jovi is not ready to forgive. On Bon Jovi’s new album, for example, he has a song about Donald Trump that isn’t very positive.
But he does take direct aim at Donald Trump on his song “Blood In The Water”. “A storm is coming / Let me be clear / Your days are numbered,” he sings.
“‘Blood In The Water’ is directed at the administration, for sure. It starts off with ‘A storm is coming’ – Stormi Daniels. ‘Your shadow sold your secrets and he’s about to do some time’ – Michael Cohen. That’s what this was all written about. Now there’s blood in the water, a year later, or two months ago, you could say that it was the impeachment.”
What’s odd about all of this is, again, neither celebrity really had much chance of buying the team out from under Pegula, a man who was valued around $4 billion at the time of the sale. That doesn’t mean the musician will ever forgive the city of Buffalo for Trump’s apparent misdeeds, though, saying, “I won’t ever go back to the city of Buffalo. You will never see my face in Buffalo ever. I have knocked it off the map.”
I think it’s fair to say you shouldn’t expect a Bon Jovi concert in Western New York anytime soon. Then again, it’s also fair to say if it keeps the Bills in Buffalo, people there will take that deal every single time.
Late-night television over the last four years has been largely characterized by how the late-night hosts have handled Donald Trump. The affable and apolitical Jimmy Fallon, who entered the Trump era as the top-rated host on The Tonight Show, has fallen well behindThe Late Show with Stephen Colbert, who has taken Trump head-on. Kimmel, meanwhile, has remained consistent, although he’s bought a lot of goodwill from many by attacking Trump while he’s also taken more lumps than other some late-night Trump critics because his former viewer base may have been more aligned with the Republican president.
One late-night host who has remained mostly unscathed by the Trump era has been Conan O’Brien, who has weirdly become the elder statesman of late-night TV these days, although in the last year or so, he’s probably found more success and influence on his podcast (and his podcast network) than on his TBS show, which has changed its format for the better. Most people probably know exactly where he stands politically, but Conan O’Brien largely steers clear of politics all the same. “I am just not a political comedian,” he said on his most recent podcast episode. “That is something that I have always stayed away from.”
Conan admits, however, that he supports Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, and that he grew up in a household full of strong Democrats. He also joked that he really doesn’t understand undecided voters in 2020. “‘Well, the election is tomorrow,’ they will say to the undecided voter,” Conan joked. “‘The United States has been embroiled in financial and racial [controversies]. Half the United States is on fire. There have been unprecedented horrors under this administration. What do you think, [undecided voter]? Insane reality [show host] Donald Trump, or seasoned calm, moral Joe Biden?’”
Conan, then doing an impression of a dumb undecided voter, jokes: “‘Oh, I don’t know! I’d like to hear a little more about the crazy guy! Does he like animals? Well, maybe him then?’ But Biden likes animals, too. ‘Well, then, I’m still undecided!’”
“It is maddening,” Conan exclaims. “It is maddening!
That said, Conan also concedes that, while he is a Democrat, he has had a lot of great experiences with high-profile Republicans in the past, like John McCain, Bob Dole — both of whom have great senses of humor, according to O’Brien — and both Bush presidents, the first of whom once kindly invited Conan to his place in Kennebunkport, Maine.
“I’m not strident about politics,” Conan insisted. “But what I am strident about is morality and ethical behavior. And justice. And you do not have to be an ethicist to know that this President has completely undermined the norms of human behavior. As a Dad, I’m embarrassed, and I have said several times to my kids, ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this is the President that you’ve got.’”
I should note, too, that Conan made these remarks with his guest, Hillary Clinton, who started her own podcast and attributes its inspiration to Conan himself. Meanwhile, perhaps in a reflection of Conan’s more quiet political inclinations ahead of the election, he also had Michelle Obama on his podcast last week.
This weekend will bring the virtual Save Our Stages festival, an effort spearheaded by the recently formed National Independent Venue Association (NIVA) attempting to raise awareness for the need to support small music venues during the pandemic. A lot of artists signed on to help out, and one of them, Foo Fighters, took to TV last night to promote the event.
The band guested on yesterday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, heading to the empty Troubadour in West Hollywood to perform one of their all-time classics, “Learn To Fly.” The performance was more acoustic than the album version, although they still worked on electric guitar into the mix.
Dave Grohl previously said of the event in a statement, “The smaller music venues and the ones that are really struggling are not only culturally important, they are emotionally important.”
The three-day event starts today, October 16, and runs through to October 18. Over 30 artists have been booked to perform, and aside from Grohl and the gang, participating acts include Brittany Howard, Brothers Osbourne, Dave Matthews, Dillon Francis, Finneas, G-Eazy, Gus Dapperton, Jason Mraz, Kelsea Ballerini, Leon Bridges, Macklemore, Major Lazer, Marshmello and Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, Phoebe Bridgers, The Roots, and YG.
You don’t need me to recount Gary Payton’s NBA credentials, but let’s go over a few things anyway just for fun. He was a nine-time All-Star and has the record for nine straight first-team All-Defense selections. He was an NBA champion with the Heat in 2006 and is one of the all-time great defenders at the point guard position.
For the past couple of seasons, before it shut down during the pandemic in 2020, Payton has brought his basketball savvy as a coach in the BIG 3 and, to no surprise, won the award for Trash Talker of the Year. He’s additionally served as an astute analyst for Turner. Now, it appears Payton is ready to take his coaching experience to the next level.
“I have had conversations in the past about coaching, but the timing wasn’t right. I believe I now am ready to coach,” Payton told Yahoo Sports in a phone interview Thursday night. “A lot of young NBA players are a voice away from reaching their true potential. I would like to join an NBA staff where I can help coach, mentor and guide players toward the hard work, focus and determination needed to become a reliable contributor to a team’s success.”
Payton certainly wouldn’t be the first former player to make the transition into coaching. Most recently, the Nets made the high-profile and somewhat controversial decision to hire Steve Nash for the head coaching gig, despite him not having any real experience on an NBA bench.
Payton’s experience could be a huge benefit to up-and-coming point guards. His tenacity as a defender and his savvy as a floor general could translate into a key mentorship role. Now that he’s tossed his hat into the ring, it’ll be interesting to see what opportunities might come calling.
Lil Yachty is being sued by a fan who claims Yachty and his crew jumped him at Rolling Loud last December according to TMZ. The fan, Jimmy Quivac, says that he was walking alone and heading into the Coliseum when he bumped into Yachty’s group while trying weave through a crowd at the entrance.
Quivac’s lawsuit says Yachty punched him in retaliation for the bump, then the others jumped in as well, kicking and stomping him on the ground. He says he suffered injuries to his arm, hand, and wrist and is suing Yachty for assault and battery, as well as emotional distress. The report does not say how much he is pursuing.
According to TMZ, Yachty said that he and his friends were leaving the festival and that Quivac shoved him, leading to a confrontation. Yachty insists they weren’t looking for a fight, only to find out why Quivac pushed him. TMZ’s report also has a video of the incident, in which the group can be seen confronting Quivac before the fight breaks out. The group does indeed spend a few seconds kicking the fallen fan before walking away and during the argument, it sounds like someone makes a few belligerent comments.
“What’s the best-selling scotch whisky in the world?” isn’t a particularly fun question. Though it’s easy to focus on aficionados, most drinkers weigh affordability and brand recognition high when grabbing a quick bottle. Better questions are: “Is the best-selling scotch whisky in the world deserving of its success? Does it taste good enough to justify its sales numbers?”
We’re not going to spoil those answers just yet. But we will say, while the masses have plenty of factors that impact their purchases. Assuming they have trash taste is wrongheaded.
The Spirit Business compiled a list of the ten best-selling scotch whisky brands by actual sales numbers. Scotch whisky as a whole — that’s the blended stuff and single malts — is experiencing a serious growth spurt. More expressions are becoming available on the U.S. market than ever before, despite the Trump administration’s damaging tariffs (which keep scotch prices higher).
Interestingly, there are no single malts on this list. Blended scotch clearly dominates if you look through a sales lens only. But are these wildly successful whiskies actually the best tasting, too? Let’s dive in and pick them apart.
Label 5 is a bottle of simple whisky you’ll find around continental Europe, mostly. It’s a rail bottle (cheap shots, mixer, etc.), so it’s no surprise that it’s one of the best selling in the world. The actual juice focuses on Speyside grain and malt whiskies, each around three years old.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is slightly bourbon-esque with vanilla, spice, and toffee sweetness. The palate is full of very sweet caramel apples with a citrus twist. The citrus helps usher in the quick end with alcohol warmth.
Bottom Line:
You can grab this in the U.S. in some regions but it’s not worth wasting your time tracking down. It might be a top ten seller but unlikely to make a top ten in anyone’s tasting notebook. If you do grab a bottle, use it as a mixer for highballs or scotch and Coke.
Good ol’ Black & White. This used to be Dean “The King of Cool” Martin’s go-to whiskey — so there’s a bit of panache that still goes with drinking this stuff. The black and white dogs on the label have become damn near synonymous with whisky in the U.K. to this day. The juice leans into Speyside grain whisky more than malt and is pretty damn dialed in.
Tasting Notes:
The bready grains come through with a note of lemon curd and a wisp of smoke. The lemon carries on and is married with a Christmas cake spice and caramel sweetness in the body of the sip. The end is short and sweet both literally and figuratively.
Bottom Line:
I really dig this stuff. It’s definitely a top 5 blend for me. Throw on an old Dino record, pour some of this over ice, and let the evening fade away.
Dewar’s White Label is a pretty easy bottle to find at U.S. liquor stores. The juice is a blend of 40 single grain and single malt whiskies. The core is the stone-cold classic, Aberfeldy.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a grassy nature on the nose next to an apple orchard dripping with honey sweetness. The honey carries on in the dram as oak, spice, and vanilla marry a buttery toffee and billow of mild smoke. The finish lingers as the honey holds your senses and the dry grassiness makes a reappearance.
Bottom Line:
This is a very solid bottle to have around for mixing up drinks, especially cocktails. It’s affordable, easily findable, and perfectly drinkable, which makes this a top three scotch blend in my book.
This is another whisky that’s really popular behind bars in France and more widely in Western Europe. The whisky is a blend of 18 single grain and single malts.
J&B is another back bar mainstay. This old-school blend became hugely popular in the U.S. after Prohibition and still sits on most American bar shelves to this day. The juice is a mix of 42 single grains and single malts with a heavy lean into Speyside whiskies.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is malty with a flourish of orange zest next to cedar bark and sweet, buttery toffee. That sweetness carries and folds in fatty nuts and a bit of red fruit. The oak and spice kick in late as the sip fades fairly quickly while warming you up.
Bottom Line:
This is a classic cocktail base and feels exactly like a solid 6/10. Though, its “brand” is squarely in our grandparent’s generation at this point. Still, this is a solid scotch to give a try as you learn to make some scotch-centric cocktails.
This scotch is climbing up the charts, mostly due to its popularity in Mexico. Bacardi has been pushing the stuff in Mexico for years now and it’s paying off — people really seem to dig it.
“Nothing to stop you enjoying its big, bold fruity flavor. Its taste of toasted cereal. Hint of juicy apple. And dollop of chewy toffee.”
Bottom Line:
This falls squarely into the “rail” bottle category of a mixing whisky that’s probably just tasty enough to take a shot of with a beer back and belongs squarely in the middle of any list, as it is here.
Chivas Regal has been winning whisky awards for decades. It’s started to make a comeback thanks to the fact that it’s legit tasty while still being affordable. And while this is a real powerhouse in East and South Asia, it’s readily available in pretty much every U.S. liquor store.
Tasting Notes:
This is a bold and deep blend. The nose opens with a rush of anise-forward spices next to bright lemons, salted caramel, cedar bark, vanilla pudding, and a hint of banana. The palate delivers on the promises made to your olfactory system and then adds in nuttiness, peppery spice, and well-rounded maltiness. The end holds onto the peppery spice as it warms and slowly fades towards a sweet finish.
Bottom Line:
I drank this stuff for about a year straight when I lived in Jakarta. Chivas highballs were my go-to. It also works really well simply on the rocks. This is legitimately a very tasty whisky at a very accessible price point that I’d likely rank as my number one blended scotch overall.
Grant’s prides itself on the triple barreling techniques they employ. The juice ages in ex-bourbon, new oak, American oak before it’s blended into the final product.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a lightness to the sip that’s, well, refreshing. The dram has echoes of bourbon with vanilla and caramel mingling with malty grains and a bit of oak and bitter chocolate. The end is swift, sweet, oaky, and warm.
Bottom Line:
This is another fairly easy whisky to find in the U.S. and certainly lives up to its price. That being said, I never reach for it because Chivas is usually sitting right next to this bottle. Still, this is certainly a top-five blend.
Ballantine’s Finest is another classic blend. The juice is a mix of 40 single grains and single malts from four regions around Scotland. The end result is a very approachable scotch at a very easy price.
Tasting Notes:
Malty grains and toffee are supported by a very distant wisp of smoke on the nose. The palate rounds out with sweet caramel malts next to subtle peatiness. That soft peat carries on to the slow, svelte, and warm finish.
Bottom Line:
If you’re thinking about getting into peat whisky, maybe give this a try. This blend would certainly be in my top ten but not my top five. Plus, there are tons of whiskeys in the U.S. at the $20 price point that beat this one.
Johnnie Walker being the best-selling scotch in the world was a given. There’s no getting away from this brand. It’s also a very wide label with eight-core bottles and a slew of specialty releases.
For the classic Black Label (linked for $40 above), the blend is compiled from over 40 whiskies from three dozen distilleries in the Diageo stable, including powerhouses like Talisker and Lagavulin.
Tasting Notes:
Citrus meets spicy Christmas cake and a bit of powdery pepper. Those wintery spices carry on through the taste as creamy maltiness, caramel sweetness, and dry herbs bounce on your tongue. The oak comes in late with a dose of peaty smoke that’s cut by an orange zest flourish on the quick end.
Bottom Line:
Johnnie Black is blended to a be a sipping whisky (Johnnie Red is for mixing). And, truthfully, it’s hard to not give Johnnie Walker its due. This stuff is very drinkable and often most people’s introduction to scotch as a style. It’s great on the rocks.
Personally, I’d grab Chivas before this for both taste and price. But I’d certainly grab this next.
Halloween is fast approaching, and since you’re not going to be attending any crazy costume parties this year (unless they’re on Zoom) you might as well stay home, get high, and snack on candy until your teeth fall out. But in order to keep your appetite cracking, you’re going to need some new in-season weed strains to smoke. Something to make the day feel festive.
In the spirit of Halloween, we’ve decided to build this list entirely around spookily-named strains. If the name doesn’t conjure a nightmare, it’s not making the list — sorry to fans of Skywalker, Gelato, Green Crack, and Zookies, you won’t find those strains here. (For those, you’ll have to turn to one of our other lists, like this one about strains for horny people!)
While this is the first time we’ve ever built a weed strains list based solely around names — and not THC or CBD content — we’ve made sure to filter out the lesser strains to ensure this list meets the same quality standards as our others. Which is a fancy way of saying yes, these strains will still get you baked out of your f*cking mind.
If you’re looking for a pungent strain packed with euphoria-producing THC, Monster Cookies is your bud. Expect frosted buds sticky to the touch with this Indica-dominant hybrid that crosses Girl Scout Cookies and Granddaddy Purple for an earthy berry-tinged strain that’ll chill you out and ease your mind.
Bottom Line
Reserve this strain for late-night smoke sessions, not because Monster Cookies will put you in a couch-lock, but because relaxing will feel too good to want to move.
Aliens are scary — enough said. This indica-dominant hybrid strain hails from the Bay Area and features Tahoe OG and Alien Kush genetics for a skunky and slightly sour strain that will knock you off your ass. With a whopping 33% THC, Alien OG will send even daily smokers into a sedated state, but the high here isn’t heavy and won’t make you feel weighed down.
Instead, you’ll find it to be tranquil and peaceful, perfect for exploring your own thoughts and taking in your surroundings.
Bottom Line
This strain will make you appreciative of the world, so feel free to vape it up at the end of a hike to ease your body and enjoy the view.
Another strong indica on the list, with Ogre Berry you’ll find dense buds with an abundance of orange hairs and a sticky gummy touch. Ogre Berry has a deep herbal scent with a peppery dry taste that’ll produce coughing fits if you have a preference for big hits.
Not the best smelling strain but it’ll chill you out and lift your mood after a long day.
Bottom Line
Stinky, sticky, powerful, Ogre Berry is best reserved for before bed smoke sessions or an empty schedule.
If you’re looking for an instant uplift for your mood, Jack the Ripper has got your back. Ironic that a strain named after a London serial killer would be known for its giggle-inducing high, but here we are. A sativa dominant hybrid, Jack the Ripper sports sticky trichome encrusted buds with flecks of purple and orange and a taste that mixes the woody earthy tones of pine and light tropical citrus.
Bottom Line
A great wake and bake strain, and perfect for murderin’!
Darth Vader slaughtered numerous Jedi younglings in a single night, and while it’s hard not to think of him as the eyebrow-sporting crusty old white dude that is revealed to us in Return of the Jedi — newer cuts of the film have removed the eyebrows, hilarious — he’s a frightening force and one of the best movie villains of the last 100 years.
Our point is, he’s every bit as iconic a horror figure as Dracula, so he’s earned a spot on this list, even if cannabis companies aren’t legally allowed to use his full name.
So indica-dominant that you might as well call this one a straight-up indica, Vader OG has a gassy-diesel scent with a skunky flavor that will bring on a killer case of munchies and waves of lethargy as soon as you’ve burned through your first bowl.
Bottom Line
Get your munchies in place before you light up because this strain will knock you out.
I mean, come on. What’s a Halloween-themed weed list without an appearance from at least one of Universal’s classic monsters? Frankenstein is yet another indica-dominant hybrid strain with a burnt earthy scent and a lemon-tinged flavor with subtle sweet flowery notes.
It’s not the strongest strain on the list, and it’s certainly not the best tasting, but it’s inarguably the most Halloween-themed… so there’s that.
Bottom Line
A solid indica dominant strain with an interesting flavor.
Closing out our list is this delicious tasting cross between Blackberry and OG Kush. Zombie Kush, despite a name that conjures rotting flesh, is surprisingly fragrant. Even a closed jar will emit a noticeable dank scent, so if you have cannabis-averse roommates, maybe skip out on this one.
If you don’t however, definitely try to pick up this indica-dominant hybrid strain if it’s available in your area. The dank scent is coupled with a woodsy floral flavor that is sure to make you feel one with nature. (Seriously, who’s in charge of naming strains?)
Bottom Line
A definite pick up if it’s available, Zombie Kush packs a powerful punch, a sense-igniting dank scent, and has deep flavors that’ll ease you into the ultimate state of relaxation.
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Pine, woody, flowery, deep kush flavor, dank smell, peppery, cross between Blackberry and OG kush
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