Tiny purchases for tiny problems.

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Anxious pet = anxious human.

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Here are your quick and dirty, editorial-free WWE NXT results for May 13, 2020. The show featured an NXT Tag Team Championship match, the “Newly-Bros” exploding, an appearance from D-Generation X, and more. Make sure you’re here tomorrow for the complete Best and Worst of NXT column.

NXT Results:

1. NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Imperium (Fabian Aichner and Marcel Barthel) defeated Matt Riddle and Timothy Thatcher (c). Miscommunication caused Thatcher to abandon Riddle, leaving him to face Imperium alone. Imperium finished him off with their powerbomb/European uppercut combination. Afterward, Riddle and Thatcher brawled backstage. Riddle called William Regal to request a match for later in the night.

2. Tegan Nox defeated Indi Hartwell with the Shiniest Wizard.

– Rhea Ripley says she’ll get the NXT Women’s Championship back from Charlotte Flair, even if she has to go through Io Shirai to do it.

3. Interim NXT Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Match: Jake Atlas defeated Tony Nese with the Rainbow DDT.

– Undisputed Era had a Zoom call and decided Roderick Strong should fight Dexter Lumis.

– A video package for Karrion Kross and Scarlett aired set to ‘The End,’ the old theme song for WWE Armageddon.

– A video aired for Dakota Kai and Raquel Gonzalez, featuring them saying they’re going to hurt a lot of people.

– Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Road Dogg announced that the next NXT TakeOver event will be called “NXT TakeOver: In Your House” and air on June 7.

4. Cameron Grimes defeated Finn Bálor with the Cave In after interference from Damian Priest. After the match, Priest hit The Reckoning on a chair and revealed that he’s the one who attacked Bálor several weeks ago.

5. Interim NXT Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Match: Jack Gallagher defeated Isaiah ‘Swerve’ Scott. Tony Nese attacked Scott during his entrance, injuring him. Gallagher won after a rolling elbow strike.

6. Kayden Carter defeated Aliyah. Apparently this was an attempt by Aliyah to join the Robert Stone Brand®, but it wasn’t successful.

– Johnny Gargano and Candice LeRae talked about Mia Yim and Keith Lee over dinner.

– Next week’s show will feature Kushida vs. Drake Maverick, Akira Tozawa vs. El Hijo del Fantasma, and Io Shirai vs. Rhea Ripley.

7. Matt Riddle defeated Timothy Thatcher. Riddle reversed a submission into a pin to win. After the match, Thatcher attacked Riddle and put him in a Fujiwara armbar.

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Here are your quick and dirty, editorial-free AEW Dynamite results for May 13, 2020. The show featured a Women’s Fatal Four-Way, Chris Jericho versus the man known as Pineapple Pete, and more. Make sure you’re here tomorrow for the complete Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite column.

AEW Dynamite Results:

— Lance Archer beat up a crew member on the way to the ring, with Jake the Snake Roberts. Jake said he’ll apologize to Brandi Rhodes just as soon as she kisses his ass, and that a woman’s place is at home. He was interrupted by Cody revving the engine of his truck and driving it into the arena. Cody and Archer brawled until Jake and Archer left.

1. Best Friends defeated Jurassic Express. Fenix attacked Orange Cassidy at ringside, then MJF attacked Jungle Boy while Referee Aubrey Edwards was distracted. Chuck Taylor hit the Awful Waffle on Jungle Boy to get the pin. After the match, Wardlow attacked Marko Stunt at ringside.

— Jon Moxley angrily refused an interview on his way into the arena.

2. Hikara Shida defeated Penelope Ford, Britt Baker, and Kris Statlander. Shida pinned Ford after a running knee, while Baker had Statlander in the Lockjaw at ringside.

— Suge D cut a backstage promo saying that he was initially insulted by the nickname Pineapple Pete, but he’s learned to embrace it.

3. Kenny Omega and Matt Hardy defeated Proud & Powerful. Omega hit Ortiz with the V-Trigger, and Hardy followed up with the Twist of Fate for a pin.

— Backstage, Taz attempted to apologize to Darby Allin for offending him last week by talking about why he lost to Cody, but he ended up going on about it again until Darby stopped him and left.

— Nyla Rose interrupted a Hikaru Shida interview to say that she brought Shida a present. She hit her with a kendo stick and yelled “I found your kendo stick, bitch!” Shida will face Rose for the Women’s Championship at Double Or Nothing.

4. MJF defeated Lee Johnson. Johnson tapped out to an armbar. After the match, MJF took a mic and called out Jungle Boy, who he’ll face at Double Or Nothing. He also announced he’ll be facing Marko Stunt next week.

5. Chris Jericho (with the Inner Circle) defeated Pineapple Pete/Suge D. Pete got some offense in as the match began, but Jericho won a quick pinfall with the Judas Effect.

— On behalf of the entire Inner Circle, Chris Jericho challenged the Elite to a Stadium Stampede match at Double Or Nothing. Vanguard 1 appeared to accept the challenge for the Elite. Jericho told Vanguard 1 that his invitation to join the Inner Circle was rescinded, because they already have a sixth member, a baseball bat named Floyd. Then he used Floyd to destroy Vanguard 1. Matt Hardy entered as the Inner Circle fled, and mourned Vanguard 1.

6. Brodie Lee defeated Christopher Daniels. The Exalted One pinned Daniels after a Discus Lariat.

— Jon Moxley came down through the stands and beat up a bunch of Dark Order minions, but Brodie Lee escaped with the stolen AEW World Title. Moxley grabbed a mic and said that he can admire guts but will not suffer disrespect, and that Lee will pay for stealing the belt.