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Previously on the Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite: Chris Jericho wore leather pants in a hot tub, offered a tiny t-shirt in exchange for support from a drone, and then made a bunch of cute little dogs chase after it when it turned him down. Wrestling’s great.

If you’d like to keep up with this column and its thinly veiled Best and Worst format, you can keep tabs on the Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite tag page. I’m also recapping Dark, which you can keep up with here, and you can keep track of all things All Elite here.

Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter, where everything and everyone is terrible.

And now, the Ins and Outs of All Elite Wrestling Dynamite for April 8, 2020.

All In: Jericho And Skee-a-Vone, World’s Greatest Announce Team

Before I say anything about this episode, I want to echo the sentiments of … I’m pretty sure every living human who watched it and say that Chris Jericho is delightful on color commentary, has undeniable chemistry with Tony Schiavone, and makes everything he talks over more enjoyable. Somehow the guy’s able to shit on the wrestlers he wants to shit on, but organically find ways to explain why they’re great at what they do, and how and why you should be enjoying it. It’s the experience of a guy who’s done everything you can do in wrestling, every way you can do it, everyWHERE you can do it.

I’m not advocating for the AEW announce team to be out of a job or anything, but when it’s finally time for Jericho to leave his tiller hat and pleather trenchcoat in the ring, he should immediately get a job in somebody’s announce booth. This was so good I’m going to be a little non-plussed every time the announce team isn’t this.

All In: Murderous Mohawk, And Marko Stunt In Context

Firstly, I want to applaud AEW for taking a second to have Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts put Marko Stunt’s match against Lance Archer last week into the proper context. I’ve read a lot of criticism about the pairing from fans and old jerky veterans alike, and Jake explained it succinctly: nobody wanted the match, and Marko thought he could be brave and seize an opportunity no one else was willing to take. He also makes sure to call Marko a fool, because Marko’s straight-up a fool, but it adds some in-universe reasoning as to why this giant guy’s first opponent was the smallest guy on the roster. All you’ve gotta do is take a second to address stuff like this, and what otherwise looks like lazy or careless production becomes plot.

Anyway, Lance Archer opens the show by sending poor Alan Angels to live with the rest of the angels. Pequeño Akuma never had much of a chance. Also, shout-out to “Alan Eagleson” for being the latest in a legacy of Chris Jericho’s character not bothering to learn somebody’s name, and saying it a little differently every time.

All In: Eletion

Speaking of Jericho, he gets invited to the Hardy Compound to face Damascus, or whoever, in the Elite Deletion. In lieu of just transcribing the entire thing, Hardy declares Sammy Guevara a FALSE GOD~ for not knowing Spanish, looks forward to eating Santana and Ortiz because he “loves Puerto Rican food” (his wife is Puerto Rican, which makes it funny AND gross), accurately compares Jake Hager to Frankenstein’s monster, and teams up with his sentient flying camera to make a literal “dumpster fire” out of the Inner Circle t-shirt. Remember when WWE did this character and all the did for like three months was laugh weird? What the hell were they thinking?

All In: Pandemic Etiquette For Submission Holds During A Nosebleed

Match of the night without a doubt goes to Dr. Britt Baker and Hikaru Shida, who managed to turn a general, lingering beef and a brief aside about a sandwich into 17 minutes of intense, hard-hitting, competitive action. Shida’s starting to hit her stride in AEW, and Baker’s in-ring work finally appears to be catching up to how great her character’s been. This ruled.

My favorite moment, because it has to be, is the attempt at Baker’s Lockjaw. Her nose starts bleeding PROFUSELY during the match thanks to what WOR says is a deviated septum, like the one Lars has in Heavyweights. But she fights through the mess and locks in the Rings of Saturn, and has Shida dead to rights for the Lockjaw. Only (1) this is gross, and (2) she doesn’t want to go jamming her hand into somebody’s mouth during a viral outbreak, so she demands that the referee give her one of his gloves. By the time she gets it and gets it halfway on her hand, Emma style, Shida’s able to reverse.

So good.

Eventually Shida’s able to chain some moves together and win with a running knee strike, which Baker later blames on having lost, “half her blood.” This is definitely a dark horse for best actual wrestling match done under quarantine so far. Somebody bring Britt a latte, damn.

All In: Ultimate Venom Arm

In also entertaining but in a very different way news, Kenny Omega and his BEST FRIEND Michael Nakazawa actually take on Best Friends in a tag team match for the rights to the name, “Best Friends.” First of all, you’re protesting too much. Secondly, can anyone do that? Can like, Luther and Mel challenge for that title and if they win, THEY are the best friends? Honestly, isn’t that what tag team wrestling is all about? A pissing contest to see who’s the best at getting along with another person?

I always like Kenny Omega matches more when I don’t have to take them so seriously. He and Naka-naka-nakazawa are a fun team because Nakazawa is clearly so far beneath Kenny’s level that Kenny has to basically piggyback him through the entire thing, and work within the structure of a jobber who can’t stop oiling himself up, going for the nuts, and putting his thong on his hand to rub it in people’s faces. Imagine if John Cena and Santino Marella had been permanent tag team partners. “Guy who wants to team up with his friend who sucks at this, but it’s his FRIEND” is a compelling tag team dynamic. It’s like when a star player sticks around on a bad franchise.

Best Friends win — the actual Best Friends, I mean … the ones who were calling themselves that already, I mean — by, get this, doing a wrestling move to Michael Nakazawa. Crazy, right? Should you try your finisher on the guy who can kick out of 16 Rainmakers in the Tokyo Dome and keep high-speed knee striking like he’s fresh as a daisy, or on his tag team partner who never wins and knows how to take off his panties without removing his shorts?

All In: T-N-Ten

This week’s main event is the first round in the “semi-finals” of the TNT Championship tournament between Cody and a guy who once turned Cody’s brains into Elmer’s glue, Shawn Spears. It’s the actual semi-finals round, by the way, I only put it in quotes because it seems weird to book a three round tournament and put “finals” in the name of the first round. That’s just a nomenclature pet peeve or mine, no shade on AEW or tournament structure in general.

Cody wins, of course, because he’s got a round two meeting with Darby Allin (unless something goes horribly wrong) and Lance Archer (because obviously) throughout the remainder of the tournament. Shawn Spears’ only ongoing storyline is that he keeps switching jobbers in and out trying to find the perfect tag team partner on Dark. You know those “use $15 to choose your perfect team” graphics that make the rounds on social media sometimes? Spears is trying to make his perfect team out of five $1 players. Also he gets pinned by a submission hold, because he’s Shawn Spears.

Cody’s got an interesting way of elevating his opponents, it seems, as they always try to step it up and do a better job (at least in kayfabe) when they’re against him. A guy like Spears will lose a Librarians-related match in like three minutes on Dark, but can go over 20 in a competitive one-on-one match and do table spots with the EVP. I think Cody’s just not interested in half-assing any matches he can avoid half-assing, because every match is an opportunity to put yourself and your opponent over, isn’t it? It’s a good idea to run this as the first match of the tournament as well, because the first match is a good indicator of how the rest of the tournament’s going to go. I don’t think anybody with less going for them than Archer should be kicking out of Double Cross Rhodes, though, even if they’re just doing it on instinct and are about to pass out in a leg lock.

Highlight: Tony Schiavone saying to look at the expression on Brandi Rhodes after Cody got lobbed through a table, and Jericho responding with, “LOOK AT THE EXPRESSION ON ME!”

Also On This Episode

After thoroughly explaining why his jobbers must wear TIES along with their low quality masks and henchman jumpsuits to give off an aura of POWER to strangers, “Mr.” Brodie Lee squashes Lee Johnson. You may remember Johnson from such films as the most recent episode of Dark, where wrestled his trainer and accidentally busted him open. I wonder if QT was then like, “I RECOMMEND LEE JOHNSON TO GET HIS ASS WHOOPED BY BRODIE.”

Who wins if Lance Archer faces Brodie Lee in a battle of Characters Like This? Is it like when Kevin Nash fought Wrath? Does one of them get punked out? Archer’s not gonna wear a tie.

Finally we get multiple Jake Hager vs. Jon Moxley video packages. Your mileage may vary on these, depending on how excited you are for a Jack Swagger match and how interested you are in Hager staring and speaking like he’s Luca Brasi trying to remember his lines, or Moxley trying out his profile pic for when he starts tweeting about far-right politics.

Really excited for Mox to hurry up and win that match so we don’t have to keep hearing Jake Hager talk. I also hope that Moxley and Renee Young’s first child is a masculine child.

All In: Top 10 Comments Of The Week

The Real Birdman

Tonight Nakazawa will be pouring hand sanitizer all over himself instead of baby oil

Clay Quartermain

The most amazing thing about Shida winning her last 7 matches is that none of them were non-title matches against the champion.

Mr. Bliss

I just want for one day, maybe even just 8 hours, damn I’ll take 4 hours but please, let Jericho follow me around for any amount of time and do commentary on my life and insult me and everyone I interact with. Is that too much to ask for?

Pdragon619

I don’t want to live in a world where Tony Schiavone knows what the word Hentai means

SexCauldron

Yeah Cody, you’ve got an albatross on your neck alright…

AddMayne

Hager has a cadence that implies that his wife’s brainwashed him

“When I started shaking babies & kissing hands, that’s when I became the Chris Jericho you see before you today”

5 stars

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Pineapple Pete is the best crowd member since Shocked Lesnar fan.

Dave M J

I really love how the best solution to the issues with AEW’s women’s division is “let Hikaru Shida wrestle matches and have the other women hit her as hard as they can”

It’s a great solution.

AshBlue

I’d like Hager a lot more if he’d had to stop and try to figure out how to spell “Hager.”

That does it for this week’s column. Thanks for reading about Dynamite! If you’re able to leave us a comment below, give the column a share on social media, and make sure you’re back here next week. Oh, and make sure you’re reading about Dark, as it’s as close to the WWF Superstars column as we can get right now.

See you next Wednesday!

Most times, we prefer to sip our bourbon straight (or with a few ice cubes) rather than in any sort of cocktail. If you like to mix yours with cola, ginger ale, or seltzer water, go right ahead — you’ll find no whiskey snobbery here. But for us, bourbon is mostly a highball glass and rocks type of whiskey. Assuming you can track down and purchase exciting, interesting bottles, that is.

To find the “right” bottles, we asked some of our favorite bartenders to tell us the best bourbons to drink straight when you’re stuck at home. They delivered with excellent picks — including some standards, and a few surprises.

Elijah Craig Small Batch

Miki Nikolic, beverage director at The Double Dealer in New Orleans

Elijah Craig Small Batch bourbon is the best. It’s a smooth bourbon that’s sweet and carries notes of vanilla and oak. You also taste a cinnamon finish.

Jefferson’s Ocean Aged

Bryan Long, assistant director of Food & at Eau Palm Beach Resort & Spa in Palm Beach, Florida

The best bourbon for sipping is Jefferson’s Ocean Aged at Sea series. The bourbon is actually aged in barrels on a ship that sails around the world.

William Larue Weller

Mazzarie Parker, bar manager of Maypop Restaurant in New Orleans

William Larue Weller from Buffalo Trace Distillery. This is on the pricier side, but if I were to treat myself to a celebratory glass of bourbon to…. let’s say, celebrate the return to normalcy post-coronavirus, this is the one I want. It’s toasty, rich, full bodied, complex, and perfectly balanced. It’s everything you can ask for in a high-end bourbon.

Woodford Reserve

Zsolt Ducsai, food and beverage director at Serafina Beach Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico

Woodford Reserve. Excellent choice to have neat or using for a perfect Manhattan. This Kentucky Whiskey has spice and fruit notes as well.

Henry McKenna 10 Year Bottled in Bond

Jake Larowe, bar manager at Birds and Bees in Los Angeles

My go-to bottles at home are WL Weller Special Reserve and Henry McKenna 10 Year Bottled in Bond. When it comes to bourbon, expensive isn’t always better. There are a lot of amazing bottles available that come in at very affordable prices.

Angel’s Envy

Piero Procida, bartender at The London West Hollywood in Los Angeles

Angel’s Envy is smooth, sweet and creamy vanilla flavor are to die for. Earning 98 points from wine enthusiast, its incredible character is undeniable. The best part is, it’s not that expensive. The unique finishing of the bourbon in port wine barrels is what makes the flavors so easy to enjoy and easy to drink by itself.

Wiggly Bridge

Meg Barnes, general manager at The Tides Beach Club in Kennebunkport, Maine

I love Wiggly Bridge from York, Maine. It’s a very smooth whiskey. You could always use it to make a quick Manhattan or old fashioned. But, it’s perfect on its own. We also love that the distiller is a female.

Hudson Baby Bourbon

Joseph Palminteri, director of food and beverages at Via Sophia in Washington DC

Hudson Baby Bourbon. I first discovered Hudson Baby while living in NYC. Tuthilltown Spirits is New York’s first whiskey distillery since prohibition, distilling some of America’s most prized spirits here in the Hudson Valley, NY. When you take the Hudson New York Corn Whiskey and store it in a first-use charred American Oak barrel, out pops the Baby. The barrel aging process gives this spirit a light sweetness and deep amber color.

This 100% corn bourbon has a bright, defined taste and a warm finish with notes of marzipan and roasted corn. It’s a fabulous spirit to mix but I would argue it’s even better to sip

Blanton’s

Natalie Migliarini, the mixologist behind Beautiful Booze on Instagram

Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon. I have been sipping this bourbon for years. I love the caramel and citrus notes as well as the dry finish.

Four Roses Single Barrel

https://www.cinstagram.com/p/B87swnDnzFf/

Courtney Everett, bartender at O-Ku Sushi in Atlanta

Four Roses Single Barrel. I don’t typically drink bourbon, so this is hard, but at a bourbon festival I attended, I remember the flavor standing out. Being more complex, I would enjoy sipping on this as opposed to ordering something like Buffalo Trace in a mixed drink.

Eagle Rare

Josh Saphier, bartender at Eighteen36 in Houston

My favorite bourbon or as I call it “my daily drinker” is Eagle Rare by Buffalo Trace Distillery. It’s one of the few age stated bourbons out there sub $30. It’s 90 proof with adds a little more bite than your traditional 80 proof bourbons. It’s a single barrel that also allows for slightly varying profiles from bottle to bottle. Though I have never come across one I didn’t like.

Heading into the 2019-20 season, Bradley Beal was expected to be a key swing piece for championship contenders hoping to upgrade their roster before the trade deadline. Those hopes were dashed when Beal signed a two-year extension worth $72 million with Washington just as the season tipped off. By signing a maximum extension so close to the trade deadline, Beal prevented himself from being dealt until the 2020 offseason.

In an appearance on the Lowe Post podcast over at ESPN on Thursday, Beal explained that his decision was about control and comfort:.

“Ultimately, I felt like staying, the postives outweighed leaving, and the reason being because I had more control here,” Beal told host Zach Lowe. “I had an organization that basically gave me the keys. ‘We’re going to build around you, we’re going to get guys around you.’

“If I go anywhere else, granted it may be a good team, but I would be a piece. Who knows if my role would be the same? My role here, I love what it is. I love (head coach Scott) Brooks. I love what we have. I love our young guys.”

Beal went on to say that he believes execution the margins and in critical moments was the difference for the Wizards this season. While he admitted Washington “couldn’t defend a grandma,” he was proud of the team’s fifth-ranked offense and believes adding John Wall, who is recovering from a ruptured Achilles’ tendon, and other pieces in free agency could allow the Wizards to compete for the playoffs again relatively soon.

After kicking off our new show, UPROXX Sessions, last week with Compton rapper 1TakeJay and his amped rendition of “F*cked Up,” this week’s episode switches the vibe with idontknowjeffery and his laid-back, live performance of “Ask About Me.” Make no mistake, though; although idontknowjeffery isn’t as turnt-up as our inaugural artist, he brings the energy in a different, totally charming way.

idontknowjeffery is a rapper from Memphis, Tennessee with a wicked sense of humor — as evidenced by the cheeky hook from “Ask About Me” in which he asserts that “When I worked at Whole Foods, all I did was stole food.”

jeffery has been a fixture on the underground/SoundCloud circuit for the last five years, beginning with his series of The Jeffery EPs in 2015 and running all the way up to his February 2020 release, Type Sh*t, which features frequent collaborator Xavier Wulf.

Watch idontknowjeffery’s on Sessions above.

UPROXX Sessions is Uproxx’s new performance show featuring the hottest up-and-coming acts you should keep an eye on. Featuring creative direction from LA promotion collective, Ham On Everything, and taking place on our “bathroom” set designed and painted by Julian Gross, UPROXX Sessions is a showcase of some of our favorite performers, who just might soon be yours, too.

In the days following Tiger King‘s almost instant viral fame, there’s been a considerable amount of focus on the humans featured in the popular Netflix docuseries, which makes sense considering their murder-for-hire plots and mysteriously missing husbands. But what about the animals?

According to Entertainment Weekly, 39 of the tigers and three of the black bears that were caged at Joe Exotic’s Oklahoma zoo are now living much “happier” lives at the Wild Animal Sanctuary in Colorado where the animals are no longer being treated as they were on the hit show. “We are almost the complete antithesis to what those other places do,” public relations director Kent Drotar told the print edition of People. “We rescue and give permanent homes to animals that come from situations like that.”

As for how the tigers ended up at the Colorado sanctuary, the tale starts with Joe Exotic doing a very sketchy favor for a Florida zoo that was facing an inspection from PETA thanks to a pending lawsuit:

“A couple of days prior to that Joe Exotic drove from Oklahoma down to Dade City, Florida, and removed 19 tigers at the behest of the owners of Dade City’s Wild Things,” Drotar said, adding he believes Joe Exotic agreed to move the tigers to his zoo in an effort to thwart law enforcement and because “Joe Exotic was notorious for breeding cubs and selling them to other organizations that used cubs, so there’s a good chance those 19 tigers originated at Joe’s zoo.”

After being threatened with contempt of court for absconding with the tigers across state lines, Exotic attempted to avoided legal trouble by surrendering the tigers, along with 20 more of his own and three black bears, to the Wild Animal Sanctuary. However, the conditions of the animals was not good:

According to Drotar, the tigers came in malnourished and weak, with lackluster coats and extensive dental issues. Additionally, many of the big cats were poorly declawed and had mobility issues as a result. The public relations director also said the animals appeared to have broken spirits as well.

As Drotar notes, Exotic kept the tigers in 12 ft. by 12 ft. cages at his small Oklahoma zoo. At the Colorado sanctuary, they’re spread across several tiger habitats, which are 16 acres each and instantly brightened the big cats’ demeanor. “There is no comparison on where these animals came from and where they are now.”

(Via Entertainment Weekly)

The last new episode of Saturday Night Live, with host Daniel Craig and musical guest the Weeknd, aired on March 7. A lot’s happened in the past month, but as I’m sure Lorne Michaels has recently said multiple times, the long-running sketch show must go on: SNL is coming back this weekend, but it’s going to look different. Very different.

Deadline reports that SNL will return to airing “original content” on April 11, but “the length of the original telecast and exact roster of new material are still being figured out. It will include Weekend Update and other original content from SNL cast members. All of it will be produced remotely as the show, along with all other TV programs, practices social distancing.” SNL‘s official Twitter account showed the cast (including the oft-absent Pete Davidson) doing their part by staying the heck away from each other.

Please note the Jack poster behind Kyle Mooney, thank you. Anyway, SNL should use this as an excuse to get weird. Like, “Darrell’s House” weird. Also, bring back Dua Lipa, who was supposed to be the musical guest for the planned March 28 episode. We could all use some shimmering dance-floor happiness right now.

(Via Deadline)

After celebrating her break-out success, Rico Nasty continues her prolific streak into the new year. The productive rapper is signaling the beginning of a new era with a slew of singles. Following the chilled-out “Lightning,” Nasty returns with the emo-adjacent “Pop Star.”

Directed by Jason Joyride, Nasty’s visual is a callback to the heyday era of teen magazines. Positioning her as an emo cover girl, the visual’s whimsical editing critiques a magazine’s pristine image and creates collages of the rapper amid teenage doodles. To complete her rock-and-roll look, Nasty sports a fringed mullet, colorful makeup, and layers of heavy metal jewelry. “You think its so easy, I would love to see you try / You think that’s expensive that’s the sh*t I love to buy / I said, ‘Damn, I don’t need nobody,’ and they always ask me why / I’m not good at I love yours, and I’m addicted to goodbyes,” she recites.

The visual arrives following a recent interview for Rihannazine, a collection of interviews and editorials curated by Rihanna for i-D. Introducing herself as a “a rapper, rock star and mommy,” Nasty said she defines success by feeling at peace: “Not necessarily being stagnant or complacent, but just at peace with where you are in life.”

Watch Rico Nasty’s “Pop Star” video above.

Rico Nasty is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Time may not have caught up with LeBron James yet, but the possibility has been on the Lakers superstar’s mind during the NBA’s prolonged hiatus caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. In a media conference call with on Wednesday, James admitted that if the NBA season is canceled without the Lakers getting a chance to compete for a title, he doesn’t know if he “will be able to have any closure.”

The adjustment to life in mid-spring without basketball has clearly affected James, whose circadian rhythms are likely fine-tuned to the NBA calendar like few in the league. It appeared, prior to the league pressing pause on March 11, that James and his Lakers teammates were rounding into form and entrenching themselves as one of the favorites for the NBA championship.

That fact has led James to seesaw between stances, saying multiple times that he would not be open to playing games without fans in the building before changing his tune. James repeatedly called the pandemic a roadblock for citizens of the world, and according to Brett Dawson of The Athletic, stressed the importance of safety above all else.

Many saw the next two seasons as James’ best chances to lead a team to a title, with contract uncertainty for both he and Anthony Davis after the 2020-21 season. Of course, no one can surmise the future, and James’ vice grip on the playoffs isn’t as strong as it once was. Peaking in April and May is the goal for any team with championship aspirations, and it’s precisely what James and the Lakers were doing.

“Time waits for no man,” James said on the call. Though the consensus among those within the league seems to be that they will not play until it is safe to do so, James more than anyone has reason to be urgent.

Pink announced last week that she and her three-year-old son had contracted the coronavirus. Though she’s been battling the illness for several weeks, the singer is now on the road to recovery. In a recent interview, Pink opened up about how the virus has affected her and her son’s health.

In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, the singer recounted to the host how she first discovered she was sick. “At a certain point around March 18, March 19, March 20, when his fever was staying and going up. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t breathe,” she said. Pink described how she “couldn’t function” without her nebulizer respirator. Though she’s battled with lifelong asthma, the singer hadn’t needed to use a nebulizer respirator in thirty years. “And that’s when I started getting really scared,” she said.

At the time of the interview, Pink said she and her son were beginning to recover from the virus. But the singer said there was a time where she felt helpless: “It was terrifying at one point, then I got sick. In hindsight, it all makes sense. But when it’s happening, it’s such a weird experience that you just don’t put it together until after the fact.” She added: “This is the scariest thing I’ve ever, ever been through in my whole life.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Pink addressed some backlash she faced over being able to secure a test:

“I think testing is really, really important. It’s really controversial to people that I was able to get my hands on a test. I would say two things to that: I would say you should be angry that I can get a test and you can’t. But, being angry at me is not going to help anything, it’s not going to solve the issue of the fact that you can’t get your hands on a test. You should be angry about that. And we should work together to try and change that. And number two: Tell me anybody with a sick three-year-old that if they could get their hands on a test wouldn’t take it. And if they say that, I’m calling bullsh*t.”

Watch the full interview above.