The couple were together for 10 years.

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Who’s ready to make all of our hair problems go *poof*?

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Aragorn, is that you?

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The two chain restaurants successfully applied for a total of $30 million in loans from the Paycheck Protection Program.

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The New Orleans Saints will once again be led by quarterback Drew Brees, who decided against retirement to return to New Orleans on a two-year, $50 million deal.

The Saints are also insistent that they have their quarterback of the future already on the roster in the form of 29-year-old Taysom Hill, who they signed to a two-year, $21 million extension (with $16 million due at signing) on Sunday to show their commitment to him.

Not only have they now committed $71 million to those two quarterbacks for the next two seasons, it’s also been widely reported on Sunday morning that Jameis Winston will be joining their quarterback room on a one-year deal to take over Teddy Bridgewater’s role as the nominal backup to Brees.

It’s interesting that Sean Payton and company insist that Hill is the future, but in possible absences of Brees, they insist on having a different quarterback playing backup. As Charles Robinson of Yahoo notes, the idea is to mitigate the issues caused by possible injury to Hill, who plays all over the field (and on special teams) and as such has a higher injury risk than any other backup in the league. It also allows them to keep him in that role, even when Brees is out, although it certainly raises questions about how they plan to use Hill once Brees does retire if they aren’t giving the heir apparent regular snaps in a situation where Brees is hurt.

In any case, the Saints are investing heavily in this year’s quarterback room and it will be interesting to see if Jameis can use this opportunity to grow as a player and parlay some time in New Orleans into another starting job in the future, a la Bridgewater.

Bless Kenan Thompson for understanding that a world without sports is hungry for just about any sports-related content right now. The latest episode of SNL At Home featured Thompson doing his best to entertain a sports world largely on hold while COVID-19 ravages the known world, with the longtime Saturday Night Live star starring in three sports-related sketches to fill the void.

The first was Charles Barkley appearing on What’s Up With That to tell a Michael Jordan story apparently cut during The Last Dance. Thompson later donned a pair of gloves and got some golf clubs out to play OJ Simpson, who is dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic just fine. Except for the moments that make him very… mad.

Later on, Thompson himself reprised his role as retired Boston Red Sox player David Ortiz. Thompson’s version of the Red Sox slugger is obsessed with obscure foods and full of sponsorship opportunities, and none of that changed with the SNL mainstay stuck at home. Thompson has played Ortiz like this for years, including in 2014 where a trip to the White House to celebrate the Red Sox winning the World Series was mostly about the “big lunch” the team had.

The same was the case earlier in the current SNL season, which saw Thompson play Ortiz after he was shot in the Dominican Republic. Now that Big Papi is at home, though, it was up to Thompson to play Ortiz making a Big Dominican Lunch for himself.

“How you gonna are a big lunch in quarantine?” Ortiz asked. “You gotta learn to improvise.”

Ortiz then made “a very simple dish based on things lying around the house.” Though according to some context clues and rough Spanish translation, Ortiz apparently has monkey paws and dolphin tongues lying around to make for lunch. The sketch is big on hyperbole, but the weird sponsorship deals are what really steal the show.

Ortiz says the sponsorship list starts with an “exploded can of beans,” and his hand sanitizer ad is really what stole the show.

“Have you been washing your hands like a thousand times a day. well then you’re in pure hell,” Thompson said, grimacing. “Pure Hell: why is my skin just like a bunch of dust?”

Papi also broke out his “seven meat sancocho,” which he claims PETA called “a genocide.” It was an extremely weird sketch, of course, but clearly a character that Thompson loves to play. And in a world where actual sports aren’t really happening, it was a welcome distraction to watch Big Papi cook for a bit.

From musical artists to doctors, the entire world has been affected one way or another as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. One group in particular impacted is the education system, as students all across the world have been sent home from their respective schools and left to finish the academic year from their homes. As a result, key moments like prom have been canceled or are likely at risk of being canceled. Looking to give these students a chance to somewhat live out their prom as normally as possible, Kyle comes through with a new idea.

Sharing a flyer on his Instagram page, Kyle announced the Super Duper Prom by sharing a throwback picture from his own prom.

“You are cordially invited to the Super Duper Prom April 29 (SuperDuperKyle Day) we’re giving you the prom you deserve so ask that special someone to be your date!” he said in the page’s caption. “Hosted by yours truly on IG Live. This is gonna be a night to remember.”

Kicking off Wednesday night at 7PM PST, attendees are asked to “get creative and put together your best quarantine outfit.” Kyle will serve as a judge for the prom outfits and hand out cash prizes for the best one. The first-place outfit will win $5000, the second-place outfit will win $1000 and the third-place outfit will win $500. Music for the prom will be provided by DJ Jadab0o and special guests will also make appearances during the night.

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Following social distancing guidelines, Saturday Night Live returned with another edition of SNL At Home. Kicking off two weeks ago, SNL returned with many of their beloved segments as well as a performance from Coldplay’s Chris Martin who covered Bob Dylan’s “Shelter From The Storm.” Back for a second episode a fortnight later, Miley Cyrus joined the crew to give a quarantine performance of her own.

Residing by a campfire, Miley Cyrus delivered a warm cover of Pink Floyd’s 1975 track “Wish You Were Here” as a strong red light was cast on her outdoor setup. Accompanied by Andrew Watt, who previously revealed that he tested positive for coronavirus, the cover marks the second time in the span of a year that Cyrus has covered Pink Floyd in a performance. Back in 2019, she performed “Comfortably Numb” during her iHeart Radio Music Festival set.

Cyrus’ performance also comes weeks after she appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. On the music side of things, she recently revealed that her upcoming album, She Is Miley Cyrus, “is sounding super rock and roll” and that fans would not have to wait “too much longer” to receive the album. Originally intended for a 2019 release, the upcoming album would mark her first since her 2017 album, Younger Now.