Taylor Swift treated fans to five new vault tracks from her recently released 1989 (Taylor’s Version) — and the songs are gaining a ton of attention for their ties to the era’s history. For those who have been wondering what easter eggs she includes on the added tracks, we’re here to help with a complete guide.
The first of the vault tracks is “Slut!,” which finds Swift pining after someone famous — leading many to suspect that this is just the first of the new songs that continued using her ex, Harry Styles, as inspiration. “Everyone wants him, that was my crime / The wrong place at the right time,” Swift notes, adding in a new voice memo that it came down to this song or “Blank Space” making the original.
“Suburban Legends” is leaving people wondering who this might be about, though. It doesn’t seem to be tied to Styles, although it’s hard to say. Swift sings about a publicized relationship, but one that she got back together with.
Another one that is raising some questions is Swift’s groovy “Now That We Don’t Talk” track. This one does feel more explicitly about Styles, likely written post-breakup, as she details someone who grew their hair long and that she’s glad she doesn’t have to pretend to like acid rock or yachts for him. Ouch.
However, the shade doesn’t end there. “Is It Over Now?” closes out the vault tracks on the album but does not hold back from sparing Styles either. She makes note of how she viewed him as a “lying traitor,” how his new girl was “her clone,” and his tendency to sleep with models.
This song also has Swifties drawing instrumental comparisons to “Out Of The Woods,” which is fitting, as she seemingly references both Styles’ skiing accident and the photos at the time of her leaving alone on a boat.
Over the years, the two exes have patched things up with sweet public interactions at least.
Ever since Goose Island first launched its iconic Bourbon County Stout back in 1992, after a chance encounter with Jim Beam’s master distiller Booker Noe, the beer world has never been the same. In the decades since, barrel-aged beers (stout in particular) have become a fixture in the fall (and winter) beer landscape. What’s not to love about these deep, flavorful gems when the autumnal chill hits the air?
It’s as cozy as a warm blanket. One made of malts, hops, and ex-whiskey barrels. (Okay, this metaphor maybe doesn’t track but you get the idea.)
While bourbon seems to be the barrel of choice when it comes to barrel-aging beer, it’s not the only cask brewers are using. You’ll also find brewers maturing their beers in barrels that formerly held rum, rye whiskey, port wine, and even cognac. And while stout is the main beer most brewers barrel age, it’s not the only one either — you’ll also find golden ales, Baltic porters, and even barleywines aged in a variety of barrels.
To find these warming, fall-centric beers, we turned to the professionals for help. We asked a few of our favorite brewers and craft beer experts to tell us the best lesser-known barrel-aged beers to drink this fall. Keep scrolling to see all of their underrated picks.
Stoup Sticks & Stones
Stoup
Andrew Hueston, USBG bartender at El Vez in Philadelphia
Stoup Brewing, Sticks & Stone Bourbon Barrel-Aged Stout. It’s hard to find but worth the journey or shipping (or Venmo your buddy to mail you some). perfectly malty with crystal malts and roasted barley. It’s not too rich or chewy.
Tasting Notes:
Aging in former Elijah Craig bourbon barrels gives it a nice palate of roasted malts, caramel, chocolate, vanilla, and sweet bourbon.
Deschutes Brewery The Abyss. When I started getting heavily involved in the craft beer scene in the late 2000s, The Abyss became one of those ‘white whales’ I was eager to get my hands on. While on a business trip to San Francisco, I visited a bottle shop, and lo and behold, they had it on the shelves. Today, it’s fallen into the category of lesser-known because of the sheer number of high-profile barrel-aged beers.
Tasting Notes:
The Abyss is as dark as the name implies, with immeasurable depth and complexity with notes of molasses, licorice, leather, and a wisp of smoke.
Armored Cow Sleepless In Seattle
Armored Cow
Chad Henderson, head brewer and co-owner at NoDa Brewing Company in Charlotte, North Carolina
ABV: 12%
Average Price: Limited Availability
The Beer:
Sleepless In Seattle by Armored Cow. It’s a bold, rich imperial stout that’s infused with cocoa nibs and locally sourced coffee beans before being matured in barrels the formerly held rum for a full eight months.
Tasting Notes:
This is a complex stout. There are lots of roast and coffee notes that pair well with the bourbon and vanillin character of barrel aging without taking on too much woody character or oxidation.
I’d highly recommend trying Dark Star by Fremont Brewing Company for this fall season. This lesser-known barrel-aged stout is a hidden gem that’s perfect for cooler evenings. Here’s why I think you’ll love it: Dark Star is a rich and complex imperial oatmeal stout that has been aged in bourbon barrels, which gives it a delightful depth of flavor.
Tasting Notes:
When you take your first sip, you’ll immediately notice a luscious blend of dark chocolate and roasted coffee notes. These flavors are beautifully complemented by the subtle sweetness and warmth from the bourbon barrel aging process. It’s like a decadent dessert in a glass. What sets Dark Star apart is its exceptional balance. Despite its robust flavors, it doesn’t overwhelm your palate with excessive bitterness or booziness.
Named ‘Best Brewery in New York State’ at the 2022 the New York State Craft Brewers Conference, Strangebird is putting out some great beer. Strangebird I’d Like to RePORT a Bear Fight is an amazing barrel-aged stout matured in ex-port wine barrels that should absolutely be on your radar if it isn’t already.
Tasting Notes:
It’s got an awesome smooth creamy chocolate note, with a touch of port character, with notes of dark cherry with a barrel char finish.
If ever there’s a reason to head to Troegs Brewing in Hershey, Pennsylvania, it’s got to be for the October, tasting room-only release of Bourbon Barrel-Aged Impending Descent, Brewed as part of their limited-release Splinter series.
Tasting Notes:
The beer exhibits flavors of chocolate, vanilla, coconut, dried fruits, and caramel. Travel to Troegs and get a bottle of this barrel-aged stout while you still can.
Altruist Just Deviate
Altruist
Matthew Steinberg, co-founder and head brewer at Exhibit A Brewing in Framingham, Massachusetts
ABV: 12%
Average Price: Limited Availability
The Beer:
My pick is Just Deviate, a bourbon barrel-aged Imperial stout sitting at a robust 12% ABV from Altruist Brewing in Sturbridge, Massachusetts. This coconut and vanilla stout was matured in ex-bourbon barrels for a full nine months, picking up a slew of complex aromas and flavors.
Tasting Notes:
The aroma is bold coconut and heavy bourbon. It has a smooth start, lots of coconut with a hint of vanilla. I love the silky, warm finish on the back.
Opir Ukrainian Strong Stout by True North Brewing. It’s barrel-aged for over eight months in maple syrup ex-bourbon barrels so you know this stout is going to be fantastic.
Tasting Notes:
It’s loaded with sweet vanilla, maple candy, and dark chocolate. It also benefits the World Central Kitchen to help out those in need in Ukraine. So, you’re drinking for a good cause.
New Holland Dragon’s Milk Tales of Gold
New Holland
Garth Beyer, certified Cicerone and owner of Garth’s Brew Bar in Madison, Wisconsin
New Holland’s Dragon’s Milk Tales of Gold is a bourbon barrel-aged golden ale that clocks in at 11%. It’s a beer often overshadowed by the company’s flagship Dragon’s Milk and it’s also a confusing beer to be poured since it’s literally gold in color.
Tasting Notes:
But as you taste it, you get incredible vanilla flavors and a nice American oak undertone, and both of those tastes are layered with caramel and honey. There are not many 11%-plus beers you want to keep drinking. This is one of them.
Avery Brewing’s stouts have a drier, nostalgic high ABV kick for me, while a lot of the new-bastion of producers have gone a little sweeter for my tastes, at least when it comes to drinking a full snifter of these beers. River North threads the needle for me. I’d pick a Barrel-aged stout from that brewery blind and feel confident, but let’s go with a more accessible one, Nightmare Fuel.
Tasting Notes:
The coffee component in this beer is well done, the beer has all the hallmarks of a BA imperial stout, without being overly sweet or having too much of a fusel bite. While 12-13% ABV isn’t small, the difference between the 15-20% ABV beers is noticeable when you’ve had a handful of ounces on the patio in the cool fall weather after a long day of work.
Roasting a turkey at home is easier than you probably think. Doing it right? That’s a little harder. Why? Turkey is finicky. The breast meat can dry out if you go just a few degrees too far when roasting. The meat really needs to be deeply seasoned to add flavor. It takes a fair amount of effort.
Luckily, we live in the U.S. so at least whole turkeys are somewhat cheap. You can practice before Thanksgiving — like… this weekend, maybe?
Fall is the season when you need to dial in those turkey roasting skills before those big family holiday meals arrive in late November and December. Let us help you on that front with a relatively easy and very delicious turkey roasting recipe that both works every time and will wow your turkey-loving loved-ones this holiday season.
Below, we’re breaking down easy steps on how to make a very juicy and well-seasoned turkey for family dinners, parties, game nights, and more. There’s nothing fancy here. You don’t need any special equipment like a sous vide or any hard-to-find ingredients. This is all very straightforward. The only thing that you’ll need to invest is a little time. The one ripple is probably using cheesecloth on the breast as it roasts. This helps trap the moisture while letting the skin still crisp up. It 100% helps keep that white meat juicy. Trust us, it’s worth the effort!
Let’s dive in…
Check Out These Other Recipes From Flavored For You:
The real star of the show is the turkey, so get a good one. I generally get a fresh turkey that’s unbrined. Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s is your best bet there. But a frozen turkey is fine too — as long as it isn’t pre-brined. The rest is all very straightforward stuff that you can get at any grocery store.
What You’ll Need:
Brining bag (you can use a “roasting bag”)
Large roasting pan with rack
Food brush
Small pot
Cutting board
Kitchen knife
Cheesecloth
Method:
Remove the turkey from its bag, remove the innards (set aside for making gravy), and pat dry with a towel.
Add the salt and spices into a bowl with a sprig of finely chopped sage, rosemary, and thyme. Mix thoroughly. Use your hand to rub the whole turkey in the spice and herb salt mix. Once completely coated in the salt mix, place the turkey into the brine bag, seal it, and place it in the fridge overnight.
The next day, preheat the oven to 425F. Let warm for a good hour to add an even layer of heat in the oven.
At the same time, remove the turkey from the fridge. Move the turkey from the bag to the rack in the roasting pan, breast side up. Turn the wing tips under the bird. Then, cut a piece of cheesecloth to fit over the whole breast of the turkey. Let sit while the oven heats up, allowing it to come up to room temp. (If you have a thermometer, put it into the deepest part of the breast, making sure not to hit the bone)
In the meantime, add 1 cup of dry white wine, 1 pound of unsalted butter, and 1 sprig of rosemary, thyme, and sage to a small pot on the stove. Warm until the butter is just melted and the herbs become super aromatic.
Right before you put the turkey in the oven, brush the whole bird with the butter-wine-herb mix, making sure it completely soaks into the cheesecloth.
Place the bird in the oven in the center. Set an alarm for 30 minutes.
After 30 minutes, remove the bird, lower the oven temp to 350F, and baste the whole bird again with the butter.
Put the turkey back in the oven and set an alarm for 30 minutes. When the alarm goes off, re-baste the bird with the butter.
Set the alarm for 30 minutes. When it goes off, remove the cheesecloth from the breast and baste the whole bird again.
Set the alarm for 30 more minutes and keep an eye on the temp. Once the 30 minutes are up or the bird hits 155F, pull it from the oven. (If the bird hasn’t hit 155F yet, baste again and let it ride in the oven until it does, making sure to baste every 30 minutes)
Place the bird on the counter and let it rest with tinfoil tented (do not wrap!) for at least an hour. The heat should carry the bird’s temp over to 160-165F easily in that hour of resting.
Use a sharp kitchen knife to carve the turkey by removing the wings, the legs, and then the thighs. Lastly, remove the breast from the bone. Once the breast is removed, slice it against the grain (lay the breast down and slice along the vertical, not the horizontal of the section). Use the tip of the knife to remove the bone from the thigh and then slice the meat too.
Serve!
Bottom Line on the Whole Roasted Turkey:
Zach Johnston
That looks as beautiful as it tastes. The seasoning went deep into the white and dark meat with a deep juiciness. The white meat was soft and full of fall-roasted herbs and savory flavors while holding a lot of juices. You don’t need any gravy for this stuff! The dark meat was super juicy and well-seasoned too. It damn near melted in your mouth.
The best part is that when you section out a turkey properly, you can transport and store it much more easily. Check the last photo below for how much smaller a whole turkey is when portioned.
But don’t throw away the turkey bones! Save those to make some deep stock or a turkey noodle soup. It’ll be tasty and comforting on a cool fall weekend.
The blinged-out crown of Christmas undoubtedly belongs to Mariah Carey. However, when it comes to Halloween, no one does it quite like Heidi Klum. If you don’t believe us, take a look at her over-the-top worm get-up last year. Due to the holiday’s placement in the week, many folks, including some of your favorite entertainers, will roll out their festive wardrobes over the weekend. Yesterday (October 26), Uproxx cover star Chlöe took to social media to share her Game Of Thrones-inspired look with her followers.
But if you don’t have time to sit in a special effects chair for hours on end or shop for extravagant pieces, here are some last-minute, music-themed costume ideas for your spooky season celebrations.
Bad Bunny
From his debut appearance on Saturday Night Live to his latest album, Nadie Sabe Lo Que Va A Pasar Mañana, Bad Bunny has been on the lips of everyone, including his rumored boo Kendall Jenner. Pulling off a Bad Bunny costume is simple enough and can work in several instances. If you have tinted sunglasses, light-washed jeans (or overalls), and a plain white tee, you’re ready to do.
Beyoncé
You won’t break your soul, but you might break the bank if you plan to dress up as Beyoncé for Halloween. The “Cozy” singer also works as a solo concept, couple creation, or as a family function. We’ve outlined some tips for mirroring Beyoncé’s style here, but as a few additional tips, upcycling is key.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CxEsnO9xp7h/?img_index=1 – bumble bee
https://www.instagram.com/p/CvaoJQdySMw/?img_index=1 – body suit
Billie Eilish
Just as Armani White rapped on his viral song, Billie Eilish’s style is quite simple. In other words, the baggier, the better. The key to Eilish’s style is to look and feel effortlessly casual and comfortable. Everything oversized is the goal. So, large jeans and graphics tees are your friend for Halloween.
Drake
Drake’s peers may struggle with obtaining his level of commercial success within rap, but his fashion sensibilities are entirely different. We have created a guide for you to view here to get a visual sense of the “Slime You Out” rapper. But to provide you with options, similar to Billie Eilish, Drake is an avid lover of athleisure wear. Any workout gear you have to spare could work just fine.
Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift has broken countless records this year thanks to her The Eras Tour. The “Cruel Summer” will surely be one of the most popular music-theme costumes this year, and who can blame anyone? Our guide here outlines some key pointers, but instead of focusing on the beautiful gowns she wears on stage, think more about her street style, which features tons of leather skirts, jeans, graphic tees, flannels, and more.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
The Grammys will again pay tribute to hip-hop’s 50th anniversary with A Grammy Salute To 50 Years Of Hip-Hop. The two-hour special will expand on the 50-year tribute from this year’s Grammy ceremony, which included performers like Grandmaster Flash, LL Cool J, Queen Latifah, Method Man, Missy Elliott, Lil Baby, GloRilla, and more. The new special will expand the lineup to include Big Daddy Kane, Gunna, MC Lyte, Too $hort, T.I., Warren G, and YG.
While the special will tape on November 8 in Inglewood, you will be able to catch it on CBS when it airs on Sunday, December 10.
According to Billboard, the special’s executive producers are Questlove and LL Cool J. After complaints that the original performance was too short and overlooked important figures in hip-hop history, Questlove explained, “I asked like 10 legends so….sometimes you gotta go with the one who wants you. again might not be your preference but most of hip hop has side gigs. Acting was the main issue. lotta movies being shot.”
Afterward, the Recording Academy CEO, Harvey Mason Jr., hinted at some more celebrations later in the year. “For five decades, Hip Hop has not only been a defining force in music, but a major influence on our culture,” he said. “Its contributions to art, fashion, sport, politics, and society cannot be overstated. I’m so proud that we are honoring it in such a spectacular way on the Grammy stage. It is just the beginning of our year-long celebration of this essential genre of music.”
The worlds of sports and entertainment have intersected in a big way over the last few weeks. Taylor Swift, the singer-songwriter who is among the most famous people on the planet, is currently dating Travis Kelce, the Super Bowl winning tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs who, even before this, has become more and more of a household name thanks to things like hosting Saturday Night Live.
“You’re a big Kansas City Chiefs fan, is that true?” Freeman was asked before confirming that he is, indeed, a Kansas City Chiefs fan. “So, how are you feeling about Taylor and Travis? Is it keeping you up at night? Are you in favor? What are you thinking, Morgan Freeman, about this?”
Everyone on set laughed at the myriad of questions Freeman faced, but Freeman was stoic and gave a very blunt answer.
“I don’t think about them at all,” he said before he started to laugh. When it was suggested that the most important thing to him in his Chiefs fandom is touchdowns and wins, Freeman said that is, indeed, the case.
“Yeah, are you winning?” Freeman said. “It’s great to watch [Patrick Mahomes] run, escape, and he’s got a rifle for an arm. So, that’s what I’m interested in.”
Fortunately for Freeman, the Chiefs have done plenty of winning this year, as they are 6-1 and sit atop the AFC West.
Flame Broiler has a reputation for being boring. It’s not any of the food’s fault — it’s simply because it’s one of the few fast food chains that offers healthy(ish) food, and the word “healthy” in fast food almost always equals bland and flavorless (looking at you Subway).
But that’s not a fair characterization of Flame Broiler. I mean, have you ever doused your food in Magic Sauce? It’s a near-religious experience (and likely sure of sugar — which is why I keep adding “ish” to the word healthy). Does it hit like a spicy chicken sandwich, slip you into a deep food coma like a bacon cheeseburger, or get the dopamine surging like cheese fries?
Not a f*cking chance. But it competes with Chipotle and sometimes you need a respite from all that sodium.
Luckily for all of us, Flame Broiler is now putting that “healthy = boring” narrative to rest once and for all with the release of the brand’s Korean Spicy Chicken — joining Flame Broiler menus nationwide as a permanent item.
The Korean Spicy Chicken is a spicy twist on the typical Flame Broiler offerings, using gochujang and sesame oil to bring big taste-bud igniting flavors to the healthy(ish — check the cal counts here) fast food space. Check my full review below.
Korean Spicy Chicken
Dane Rivera
Thoughts & Tasting Notes
Unlike most “Korean-inspired” flavors in the fast food space, Flame Broiler’s Korean Spicy Chicken doesn’t play. As soon as it hits your palate you’re tastebuds are flooded some seriously spicy sensations. An intense heat greets you that quickly dissipates into a savory and sweet characteristic that leaves a gentle spice level lingering on the palate. That spice pulls you deeper into the dish — after my first taste, I found myself diving back into the bowl faster and faster until my meal was through.
We’re dealing with dark meat chicken thigh here so it’s full of fatty flavor without any of the dryness typical of chicken breast. The chicken is saucy enough that you don’t need to add any of Flame Broiler’s teriyaki-style Magic Sauce, but I did anyway and I like the way it pairs. With the inclusion of Magic Sauce the sweet notes are more prominent and you pull forth sumptuous umami notes, making the dish even more satisfying.
Overall, this isn’t just a great addition to Flame Broiler’s menu — I literally can’t see myself ever ordering the regular charbroiled chicken again. This is the new standard.
The Bottom Line:
Simply some of the best tasting (and spiciest) chicken currently in the fast food space. Healthy(ish) food doesn’t have to be boring — this new entry from Flame Broiler proves it.
Warning: Spoilers for The Fall of the House of Usher ahead.
Anytime Mike Flanagan calls up his pal Carla Gugino to be in something, you know it’s going to be pretty messed up, which is exactly what happened with his new show, The Fall of the House of Usher.
Flanagan’s latest Netflix show follows the extravagant Usher family and the various family members (and enemies) that revolve in the inner circle. Think Succession with a lot more death and destruction. The story is loosely inspired by the works of Edgar Allen Poe, with modern-day influences splattered throughout. So who is Verna, the mysterious figure who seems to appear just in time for some chaos?
The name “Verna” works as an anagram for raven, a central figure in Poe’s universe, and also a likeness to death itself. Verna is present and lurking throughout all eight episodes before it is revealed in the finale that the two main siblings, Roderick and Madeline Usher, made a deal with her on New Year’s Eve so many years ago that they would have wealth, power, and freedom, but when it was Roderick’s time to go, the rest of his bloodline would succumb with him. Hence, the fall of the house, and all of those outlandish deaths.
Even though Verna was really there, it was the family that made the deal and followed through with their deeds, Verna was just the messenger who made sure that they experienced some karma for starting the controversial pharmaceutical company. Remember when family businesses were just, like, small mom-and-pop candy stores? We should bring those back.
The Fall of the House of Usher is now streaming on Netflix.
As part of an experiment, a man asks for help translating a Facebook message he has received.
There’s a man in Lithuania who speaks only English. The message is in Lithuanian. He can’t read it, so he asks some locals to translate it for him.
As he asks one person after another to translate the message for him, two things become obvious.
1. He’s received a message full of hate speech.
2. Translating it for him is breaking people’s hearts.
It’s nearly more than these people can bear.
There’s a sudden, powerful connection between the translators and the man they’re translating for. They want to protect him, telling him not to bother with the message.
They apologize for the message.
They look like they want to cry.
Words hurt.
Most of us would never think of saying such horrible things. This video shows people realizing in their gut what it must feel like when those words are pointed at them — it’s all right on their faces. And so is their compassion.
The Facebook message is horrible, but their empathy is beautiful. The video’s emotional power is what makes it unique, and so worth watching and passing around.
Here it is.
The video’s in English, subtitled in Lithuanian. Just watch the faces.
…according to the Pennsylvania Ballet, which reported encountering the post on the social media site.
The Pennsylvania Ballet, whose company members regularly wear tutus, had a few choice words for anyone who thinks their light, frequently pink costumes mean they’re not “tough.”
Commence epic reply…
(full text transcribed under the post).
A Facebook user recently commented that the Eagles had “played like they were wearing tutus!!!”
Our response:
“With all due respect to the Eagles, let’s take a minute to look at what our tutu wearing women have done this month:
By tomorrow afternoon, the ballerinas that wear tutus at Pennsylvania Ballet will have performed The Nutcracker 27 times in 21 days. Some of those women have performed the Snow scene and the Waltz of the Flowers without an understudy or second cast. No ‘second string’ to come in and spell them when they needed a break. When they have been sick they have come to the theater, put on make up and costume, smiled and performed. When they have felt an injury in the middle of a show there have been no injury timeouts. They have kept smiling, finished their job, bowed, left the stage, and then dealt with what hurts. Some of these tutu wearers have been tossed into a new position with only a moments notice. That’s like a cornerback being told at halftime that they’re going to play wide receiver for the second half, but they need to make sure that no one can tell they’ve never played wide receiver before. They have done all of this with such artistry and grace that audience after audience has clapped and cheered (no Boo Birds at the Academy) and the Philadelphia Inquirer has said this production looks “better than ever”.
So no, the Eagles have not played like they were wearing tutus. If they had, Chip Kelly would still be a head coach and we’d all be looking forward to the playoffs.”
Happy New Year!
In case it wasn’t obvious, toughness has nothing to do with your gender.
Gendered and homophobic insults in sports have been around basically forever — how many boys are called a “pansy” on the football field or told they “throw like a girl” in Little League?
“They played like they were wearing tutus” is the same deal. It’s shorthand for “You’re kinda ladylike, which means you’re not tough enough.”
Toughness, however, has a funny way of not being pinned to one particular gender. It’s not just ballerinas, either. NFL cheerleaders? They get paid next to nothing to dance in bikini tops and short-shorts in all kinds of weather — and wear only ever-so-slightly heavier outfits when the thermometer drops below freezing. And don’t even get me started on how mind-bogglingly badass the Rockettes are.
Toughness also has nothing to do with what kind of clothes you wear.
As my colleague Parker Molloy astutely points out, the kinds of clothes assigned to people of different genders are, and have always been, basically completely arbitrary. Pink has been both a “boys color” and a “girls color” at different points throughout history. President Franklin D. Roosevelt — longtime survivor of polio, Depression vanquisher, wartime leader, and no one’s idea of a wimp — was photographed in his childhood sporting a long blonde hairstyle and wearing a dress.
Many of us are conditioned to see a frilly pink dance costume and think “delicate,” and to look at a football helmet and pads and think “big and strong.” But scratch the surface a little bit, and you’ll meet tutu-wearing ballerinas who that are among toughest people on the planet and cleat-and-helmet-wearing football players who are … well. The 2015 Eagles.
You just can’t tell from their outerwear.
Ballerinas wear tutus for the same reason football players wear uniforms and pads:
To get the job done.
This article originally appeared on 01.05.16
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