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James Doohan, the original ‘Star Trek’ Scotty, once saved a suicidal fan’s life

When people become famous, they know fans are going to want things from them all the time—autographs, selfies, shoutouts, handshakes and hugs. But what about when a fan reaches out in distress?

Canadian actor James Doohan, who played the lovably surly ship mechanic Scotty on the original “Star Trek” television show and films, received a harrowing note from a fan once. It’s hard to know when to take a letter from a stranger seriously, especially when you’re a famous actor, but he did.

“I got a fan letter from a young lady—it was a suicide note,” he shared in an interview. “So I called her. I said, ‘Hey, this is Jimmy Doohan—Scotty from Star Trek,’ I said, ‘I’m doing a convention in Indianapolis. I want to see you there.'”


The woman came to the convention, and Doohan said he couldn’t believe what he saw. “Definitely suicidal,” he said. “Somebody had to help her somehow, you know. Obviously, she wasn’t going to the right people.”

Doohan told the young woman that he was going to be at another convention in two weeks, and then another two weeks after that, and that he wanted to see her at each one of them. And sure enough, she showed up at all of them, despite them being held all over the country.

“That went on for two or three years, maybe 18 times. And all I did was talk positive things to her,” he said. “And then all of a sudden, nothing. I didn’t hear anything. I had no idea what was happening because I really never saved her address, right?”

Miraculously, eight years later, Doohan got a letter from the woman.

“I do want to thank you so much for what you did for me,” it read, “because I just got my master’s degree in electronic engineering.”

Doohan said the story brought tears to his eyes every time he talked about it. “You know, to me, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he said.

Though Doohan passed away in 2005, his legacy as the OG Scotty—and as a caring public figure who went the extra mile for a struggling stranger—lives on.

Watch him tell the story:

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High school teacher breaks down every high school clique that (still) exists

Think back to all those centuries ago (kidding), when you were but a wee teen in high school. Suddenly identity exploration and finding a sense of belonging become paramount. In those pivotal years, you meet other like-minded individuals with similar tastes and interests, and those people become your exclusive group of friends, otherwise known as a clique.

High school might look very different now than how it once did, but this rite of passage is still very much alive and well. Just ask Ms. C, who goes by the handle @stillateacher on TikTok.

Ms. C recently went viral for sharing a look at high school cliques from her perspective as a teacher, honing in on what she liked about teaching each clique. Her observations illuminate not only that yes, cliques persist (and with them their inherent problems) but that there’s something genuine, sweet and loveable about each one.

First on deck—the goth kids, primarily because Ms. C admits to being scared of them when she was a kid. But now, after actually connecting with a few, she insists that underneath those dark and gloomy exteriors lies genuine kindness.

“A common interaction between me and a goth kid is throughout class, they’re just kind of like giving me a death glare…And then after class, they just like linger around by my desk and I’m like, ‘Hey, what’s up?’ And they’ll just like lightly knock over something on my desk and be like, ‘You’re a really good teacher. This is my favorite class.’ and then just walk out,” she says in the clip.

So yeah, goth kids are just like cats. Misunderstood in the way they show love.

@stillateacher Something loveable about every clique #teacher #teachersoftiktok #teachertok #highschool #clique ♬ original sound – Ms. C

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Ms. C tackles theater kids next. Sure, this group has a big personality (perhaps too big for some), but Ms. C appreciates their brazen self-assurance.

“They reeeeealllly don’t care what anyone thinks,” she says, explaining that while other students add well-known pop singers to her class playlist, theater kids will shamelessly put in their favorite show tunes. Why? Because it’s “the best musical of all time!” Duh.

Plus, Ms. C commends their “really strong literacy skills from reading and memorizing all of these plays.”

For jocks, there are actually sub-cliques within the group “depending on which sport you play.” But despite each sport team having different personalities, Ms. C notes that a supportive coach makes all the difference.

“I’ve literally before picked up my phone and called the coach and then like be like, ‘So and so is having a tough day,’ and they come and talk to them in the hallway and the student is like immediately changed, inspired, transformed,” she says.

And while she admits that the teacher/jock relationship is often portrayed as contentious, she can’t help but commend jocks for their passion and commitment.

“A lot of the kids are just like die-hard for whatever sport they play. That keeps them coming to school consistently. It keeps them having something to do,” she says.

After her initial post received over 800,000 views, Ms. C began reviewing even more cliques. Like band kids, who are “clever,” “sarcastic,” fond of outdated memes and generally “lead a fun, joyful existence.”

@stillateacher Replying to @juan pablo Suarez band kids get a 5 star review #teacher #teachersoftiktok #teachertok #highschool #clique ♬ original sound – Ms. C

Or art kids, who are “self-deprecating” but “brilliant” and “generous” and “unproblematic royalty” overall.

@stillateacher Replying to @Escape_My_Reality ♬ original sound – Ms. C

Ms. C has even advocated for the AP overachievers, who are often labeled as insufferable in their eagerness.

@stillateacher Replying to @520momo_mama I will defend overachievers to the death #teacher #teachersoftiktok #teachertok #highschool #clique ♬ original sound – Ms. C

“You all have an edge and an intensity that you can leverage to lead truly extraordinary lives,” says, before joking that they’ll “also need a lot of therapy, so many blessings to you on that journey, and the earlier you start the better.”

Requests for more clique reviews are still rolling in, asking Ms. C to cover the skater punks, the nerds, the speech and debate team, cheerleaders and dancers, …and a lot of folks have suggested choir kids. So be sure to follow Ms. C for more wholesome entertainment.

High school cliques might evolve with the different generations, but one thing that will never change is that they each have something unique to offer.

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Shocking photo shows the amount of sugar in ketchup. Can this be true?

To say that Americans have a sweet tooth is an understatement. According to a study of 54 countries published by World Population Review, American sugar consumption is the highest in the world at 126 grams per day. That’s the equivalent of drinking three cans of Coca-Cola every day.

In comparison, the average person in China consumes just 7 grams of sugar daily.

Not surprisingly, this heavy sugar consumption has led to an obesity crisis. As of 2020, 42% of Americans were obese. The country’s obesity rate has increased by 26% since 2008.

The tricky thing about the American diet is that a lot of foods that don’t necessarily taste sweet to us are saturated with sugar.


A recent tweet by Josiah Hughes received over 5 million views because it showed the shocking amount of sugar in the average bottle of Heinz ketchup. The image shows an empty bottle of Heinz ketchup that is about a third full of sugar. The image seemed like an exaggeration because ketchup isn’t overly sweet. It has a tangy, savory, acidic and smooth flavor with a hint of spice.

But this photo makes a bottle of ketchup look more like a candy bar.

“The powerful visual shows how much sugar is in 400ml of Heinz Ketchup. No wonder I feel sick when I consume a whole bottle,” Hughes joked in the tweet.

The tweet’s popularity inspired Snopes, one of the internet’s most popular fact-checking sites, to investigate the claim. Is a bottle of Heinz ketchup roughly a third sugar?

To fact-check the claim, Snopes purchased two 14-ounce bottles of Heinz ketchup and referenced the nutrition information on the product label. The math was pretty simple. The average bottle of Heinz ketchup contains 391 grams of ketchup, of which 92 grams of it are sugar. That means that the ketchup is roughly 24% sugar. Snopes ranked the claim true: “A viral tweet offers a roughly accurate visual representation of the amount of sugar in a bottle of Heinz ketchup.”

“The vast majority of the product’s sugar content comes from both high fructose corn syrup and corn syrup, both of which are liquids,” the fact-check reads. A big reason why American foods are so saturated with high fructose corn syrup is that it is cheap because the government subsidizes it.

Many health complications can come with overconsuming high fructose corn syrup. A major problem is diabetes.

“Chronic overconsumption of high fructose corn syrup causes an increase in fat production and worsens insulin sensitivity,” Jennifer Feda, Clinical Nutrition Manager at the Hospital of Central Connecticut in New Britain, tells Hartford Hospital. “Even a small change like not drinking regular soda is beneficial. Limiting processed foods, in general, will not only help you limit intake of high fructose corn syrup, but also your intake of unhealthy fats, which is a bonus.”

Although the image of the sugar-filled ketchup bottle is shocking, it’s a wake-up call to many Americans about the dangers posed by the products we consume every day. The more transparent that companies and watchdogs can be about what’s really in our food, the better chance we all have to make healthier choices.

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14-yr-old’s expressive, physics-defying ‘Mad World’ dance blows away AGT judges and fans

Dance is a unique art form in that the medium it utilizes is the human body itself. Simply through purposeful and graceful control of movement, dancers can express and evoke joy, sadness, fear, confusion—the whole range of human emotion. And when dancing is done well, it’s utterly mesmerizing.

Such is the case with Mariandrea, a 14-year-old from Mexico who auditioned for America’s Got Talent in July of 2023 and wowed both the judges and the audience with her dance performance. She has been dancing since she was 5, and as Simon Cowell pointed out, it’s clear that she was born to do this.

After showing off her sparkling personality during the pre-performance interview, Mariandrea danced to a cover of Tears for Fears’ “Mad World,” personifying the song in her performance. But it wasn’t just her intentional movement that reflected the emotional complexity of the ever-popular hit. Her facial expressions, ranging from subtle fear to a clown-like smile to genuine sorrow to angry defiance, change on a dime, adding an acting element to her routine that takes it to the next level.


Add in the incredible control she has of her body as it twists and turns and seems to defy gravity, both gracefully flowing and disturbingly contorting, and it’s easy to see why she earned a standing ovation and enthusiastic praise from all four judges.

Watch:

For someone so young to have such a strong grasp of her craft is quite extraordinary, and people were wowed by her talent as well as her showmanship.

“I had to watch this more than once. Her smile, energy, and face reminds me of a young Natalie Portman. You can tell she is more than a dancer also, very intelligent, expressive, talented, yes acting too. Wow! Congratulations!” shared one commenter.

“This young lady has a very bright future ahead of her! The passion that she emanated while dancing was above and beyond what we have seen in half the dancers that are older than her… Can’t wait to see what she does next!!!” wrote another.

“Stunned. I would have given her a golden buzzer. The sharpness, flexibility, timing, theatrics, and costume use. 10/10,” shared another.

One commenter pointed out that her dance felt like a monologue, and another person called it “absolute art.” Many people expressed disappointment that she didn’t receive the Golden Buzzer, which would propel her immediately to the final round. But if her other performances are anything like this one, she’s got a pretty decent chance of making it to the finals without it.

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Woman picks up a stranger at the grocery store in funny case of mistaken identity

Everyone’s done it at least once. You recognize someone, so you shout, wave or playfully give them a tap, and sometimes you embarrass yourself when you realize it wasn’t someone you knew at all. One woman had that experience and it resulted in a giggle-filled retelling shared on social media, because she didn’t just accidentally wave to a stranger, she picked them up from behind.

Corey Engmann, a dog trainer out of Kansas City, uploaded a video to social media of her sitting in her car attempting to explain what she just experienced. The mom of three said she was in the checkout line when she noticed her friend from behind and decided to scoop her up in a playful joke.

Except the person she picked up was not her friend at all, it was an older woman. Engmann physically lifted an unsuspecting stranger off their feet while they were minding their business at the grocery store. During the entire video recounting the event, the dog trainer was in the midst of a full giggle fit.


Engmann laughed and wiped tears as she explained what she did when she saw her “friend” in the checkout line. “I gave her a big bear hug from behind and I picked her up off the ground and I went ‘BOO!’ and she screams so loud and I was laughing. And I put her down and she turned around, and it wasn’t my friend.”

The two women had a good laugh while in the grocery store but it was when Engmann attempted to make it right that she realized her error caused a problem. After offering to buy the older woman’s groceries, the woman declined and informed her she needed new pants because she wet herself from the surprise bear hug.

It’s so much better to hear Engmann tell it. Watch the video below:

@mustlovedogskc

This is what happens when you’re a hugger! #Mybad #whoopsieDaisies #comedy #laughing #fyp

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Parents share their kids’ hilarious reactions to learning about how sex works

One of the greatest parenting milestones is the day you get to explain to your children the basics of sex. Sometimes that day arrives because a kid bluntly asks how babies are made, sometimes parents bring it up so their kids to hear it from them before they hear it from other people, and sometimes it’s a result of an unexpected encounter (like a kid walking in on their parents doing the deed).

However you arrive at it, that initial conversation is always interesting. No matter how prepared you think you are, some awkward hilarity is inevitable as you navigate those new waters. Sex is pretty simple on the one hand, but quite complicated on the other, and figuring what details to share at what stage is a tricky balancing act.


Some kids are open and curious and ask a million questions. Some kids are quiet and reserved and process it all in their own sweet time. But the first reaction of most pre-pubescent kids when they first hear about the mechanics of sex, even if you introduce it in a sex-positive way, is something along the lines of “What?? Are you serious? EW.” And when they connect the dots that their parents had sex in order for them to be alive, the reaction gets even funnier.

A thread on Twitter illustrates how true this is as parents share their children’s reactions to hearing about the birds and the bees.

A thread on Twitter illustrates how true this is as parents share their children’s reactions to hearing about the birds and the bees.

Clearly, Megan has three kids. Logic.

Some kids let questions slip out before thinking about whether they really want to know the answer. Once you know it, you can’t unknow it. Sorry, kiddo.

@meganmuircoyle On a summer walk my 1 boy(9) was asking ? about sex & I explained everything. My husband was away f… https://t.co/0hHQQxUFgt— arlene geerlinks (@arlene geerlinks) 1612372163.0

Parents have to be prepared for awkward questions, but sometimes you really can’t predict what a kid might want to know. Kids aren’t exactly known for having boundaries, and that’s doubly true for a topic that’s totally new for them.

Most of us don’t like to imagine our parents having sex, so this is one area where kids who are adopted have somewhat of an advantage (until they learn that procreation isn’t the only reason people have sex).

“@meganmuircoyle My kids are adopted, and I once heard, “Well, at least you guys didn’t have to do THAT!””

“@meganmuircoyle My kid learned about it in the backseat at Target in a spur of the moment conversation. We got home and she goes up to her Dad, “YOU STUCK YOUR PENIS IN MOM’S VAGINA TWICE!!!””

It’s not just the questions, but the declarations that come along with kids learning about sex that can take parents by surprise.

“@meganmuircoyle @bames_jrolin My nephew was about 7 when he got this info. At the next big holiday dinner he spontaneously stood up on his chair, flexed his biceps and loudly announced, “I am strong and healthy and full of sperm!””

It’s always entertaining to see a kid’s understanding move from innocence to reality.

@meganmuircoyle when he got older I told him about the cervix, contractions, labour etc and he was like “oh. okay.… https://t.co/u7mnCiVYUg— L. (@L.) 1612384726.0

And even more entertaining when you realize that you were the one who inadvertently introduced your kid to a sexual concept you may not have been prepared to discuss.

“@fitz_lorie @meganmuircoyle @JoJoFromJerz I asked my mom the same question around the same age. She wanted to know where I had heard such a word from. Ummm from you and my aunt talking the other day. 😂😂😂😂 She never asked that question again! It’s important to know I was raised Southern Baptist! 😂”

And then there are the unintentional misunderstandings that occur when kids don’t get quite enough information.

Perhaps the funniest part about talking about sex with kids is how actually kind of weird the physical act really is when you think about it. Of course it seems absurd to children who haven’t sexually developed yet.

In fact, some kids find it so weird, they literally don’t believe it.

Like, what the heck with this design? And they don’t even know at this point about the nitty-gritty details that you only really know once you’ve done it.

As funny as these stories are, the fact that parents are having open and honest conversations with their kids about sex is seriously awesome. Some people do their kids a disservice by being too creeped out to talk about it, or maybe worrying they’ll give too much info, so they don’t talk about it.

Whatever your moral perspectives on the topic, sex is part of life. It’s basic health and biology. It’s a human reality that everyone learns about one way or another, and it’s generally better for kids to learn about sex from their parents than from their peers, who might give wrong information. Starting early by answering kids’ questions matter-of-factly, giving age-appropriate details (which admittedly can be hard to discern), and bringing up the topic occasionally if your kids don’t can help kids ease into a healthy understanding of sex.

While the basic mechanics conversation is indeed a parenting milestone, the best parent-child conversations about sex are ongoing and ever-expanding. Making consent and boundaries part of the conversation is vital as well. Some uncomfortable moments may be inevitable, but keep the line of communication wide open will go a long way toward helping kids prepare for what’s to come.

This article originally appeared on 02.04.21

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Dad had no idea he was auditioning for ‘Britain’s Got Talent.’ He brought the house down anyway.

We’ve seen some moving America’s Got Talent stories before, but a recent viral audition absolutely requires a tissue warning. I tried to steel myself in preparation when I saw the “Admit it, we were *all* in tears after this” caption on the Facebook share of it, but I failed.

In a video that’s been shared more than 95,000 times, the “Britain’s Got Talent” audition shows two tiny little girls onstage with their grandmother. They introduce themselves as “Cally” (age 4) and “Savannah” (age 3) and “Nanny” (their “daddy’s mummy”) then the girls share that they are there to surprise their dad.

Dad—also known as Nick Edwards—is sitting in the audience. He thought the family was there to watch the audition on a fun outing; he had no idea that they had arranged a surprise audition for him, so when his girls and mom showed up on stage, he wondered what was going on.


A “Britain’s Got Talent” spokesperson explained to the Daily Mail how they got Edwards mic’d up without giving away the surprise.

“When Nick entered the Palladium auditorium during ‘BGT’ auditions, he was approached to be part of our ‘gogglebox’ audience and told he would be mic’d up so we could capture his reactions throughout the day as he sat in the audience,” they said. “He was totally unsuspecting. We did this so we could mic him up without him suspecting a thing.”

As Edwards tried to figure out what his mom and daughters were doing on stage, Edwards’ mother explained to the judges and the audience that he sings a special song to his girls. She said they wanted him to come up and sing it. Naturally, not being prepared for an audition, Edwards was stunned. But the judges sent him backstage to “grab a glass of water” so he could compose himself and get ready.

“They gave me some time to warm up—about 45 minutes in total,” Edwards told This Morning. “They gave me my guitar my family brought down on the day, they [producers] said this is the song we want you to sing because we’d seen it on your Instagram.”

The song is an emotional doozy, especially if you’re a parent. “It’s a song I’ve felt quite attached to so I sing it a lot around the house,” Edwards told the judges before he started to sing. Once you hear it, you’ll see why he joked about trying to keep from crying while he sang it.

Lovely voice. Beautiful song. Adorable little girls. Not a dry eye in the house.

Tissue, seriously. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The fact that Edwards was able to pull off that audition with less than an hour of preparation was quite impressive. He told This Morning what he was thinking during that prep time.

“If I go out I’ve got two options here, I either go out and try to own it or I come out and it all crumbles…” he said. “The whole thing just went so quickly. I do remember playing and in a way my fingers started to get a bit jelly, I remember thinking ‘this is going to be a big moment for you.’ I don’t want to stuff it up.”

Stuff it up he did not. What a lovely performance, and what lucky little girls to have a daddy who shares his love for them in such a beautiful and creative way.

This article originally appeared on 04.22.22

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The last surviving witness to Lincoln’s assassination lived long enough to share his story on TV

Samuel J. Seymour was one of the approximately 1,700 people at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C., on April 14, 1865, the night President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth. He was also the last to live long enough to talk about that historic night on television.

Seymour was 5 years old when he went to see the play “Our American Cousin” with his nurse, Sarah Cook, and Mrs. Goldsboro, the wife of his father’s employer.

When Booth shot Lincoln, he pulled the trigger during the biggest laugh of the night so that it wouldn’t be heard. What caught Seymour’s attention was when Booth fell from the balcony after a scuffle with Henry Reed Rathbone.


Chaos erupted in the theater and Seymour was ushered out by his nurse. While they fled he overheard people screaming, “Lincoln’s shot! The President is dead!”

“I saw Lincoln slumped forward in his seat,” the old man later recalled. “That night I was shot 50 times, at least, in my dreams—and I sometimes relive the horror of Lincoln’s assassination, dozing in my rocker as an old codger like me is bound to do.”

Two months before Seymour’s death at the age of 95, he appeared on the game show “I’ve Got a Secret,” where panelists tried to guess his secret: “I saw John Wilkes Booth shoot Abraham Lincoln (April 14, 1865).”

Seymour didn’t speak much during the show but he did make a historic understatement when panelist Jayne Meadows asked if his secret was “a pleasant thing,” to which Seymour replied, “Not very pleasant I don’t think. I was scared to death.”

This article originally appeared on 2.3.23

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Mom reacts perfectly to daughter who disinvited a friend from a trip because of her weight

A 42-year-old mother wondered whether she did the right thing by disciplining her 18-year-old daughter, Abby, who disinvited a friend from vacation because of her weight. The mother asked people on Reddit for their opinion.

For some background, Abby had struggled with her weight for many years, so she went to her mother for help. The two set up a program where Abby was given a reward for every milestone she achieved.

“Four months ago, she asked that I don’t get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for, for her and her friends instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th. I said OK,” the mother wrote.


So, instead of a series of small gifts, Abbey wanted one large one, a vacation with two of her friends. The vacation would also celebrate Abby’s 18th birthday. The mother agreed and booked the trip for the 3 girls.

“Fast forward to last weekend, we started preparing for her vacation,” the mother wrote. “I called the other two girls’ parents to confirm the girls would be and learned Abby’s best friend Betty isn’t going. Betty loves traveling and was looking forward to the vacation, so I asked why. Apparently, Abby uninvited her because ‘she is too chubby to look good in pictures.’”

When the mother approached Abby about the situation, she doubled down on her comments to Betty. “I calmly talked to Abby and reminded her how Betty would feel being left out for such a reason, and she went off with, ‘I didn’t work so hard for this vacation so my pictures will be ruined,'” the mother wrote.

Abby then asked Betty to contact her mom and say that she decided not to go on the trip because she wasn’t feeling well. Betty refused to lie, and Abby sent her a “ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults.” Betty shared screenshots of the texts to the mother, and she promptly canceled the entire vacation.

Now, Abby’s father, who shares 50-50 custody with the mother, is livid, and Abby won’t speak to the mother. The mom asked the Reddit
AITA forum to see if she was in the wrong, and the commenters overwhelmingly said she did the right thing. “Some of my friends agree on my approach, while others think I should have put my daughter first,” the mother said.

The most popular commenter was short and to the point.

“Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first,” Due_Laugh_3851 wrote. “I commend your strength and parenting skills. This was the right thing to do and would’ve been hard to do. Well done, you deserve to go on the holiday yourself,” Loud_Wallaby737 added.

“… uninviting someone because you only want skinny people in your pictures is a disgusting attitude frankly. Sorry, I just don’t find a nicer word for it. I am totally with you that this needs to have consequences, and while I’m very much against breaking promises, I do believe this is an exception. Like you said, your daughter knows what it feels like. She (but anyone really) should be supportive of friends wanting to lose weight if that is the case and if it isn’t they she should just mind her own
business body,” SensitiveSires wrote.

One of the few people who thought she was in the wrong believed that the mother set her daughter up for failure.

“[You’re wrong] for giving your daughter who is a child rewards for weight loss. Her behavior of value based on weight shows she likely has developed disordered eating patterns and attitudes and this will cause her a lifetime of pain,” tamtheprogram wrote.

The silver lining to the story is that many people who commented said that even though her daughter did something very hurtful, she’s still a teenager and there’s a chance she’ll realize the error of her ways.

“The daughter is just a teenager, she still has a lot of time to learn and grow up. Writing off her entire future as a mean girl when it’s very rare to be the same exact person you were at 18 as you grow up is a lot,” Stephapeaz wrote.

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Andy Grammar shares how he ‘goes on offense’ with grief over his mom’s death

When you lose a loved one, the grief can sometimes feel impossible to bear. Time may help to soften the initial blow, but grieving is an up-and-down process without a specific trajectory or timeline. Some small thing can happen to trigger a memory—a song, a sound, a smell—and a wave of grief can hit without warning.

But is there a way to proactively manage grief rather than just react to it? According to singer and songwriter Andy Grammer, there can be, and it’s really quite lovely.

If you don’t know, Grammer is the multi-platinum recording artist behind a slew of uplifting hits such as “Keep Your Head Up,” “Good to Be Alive (Hallelujah),” and “Lease on Life.” He’s known for his positive, optimistic songwriting, which might lead some to assume he’s not experienced a painful loss. On the contrary, Grammer’s mother, Kathy, passed away from breast cancer when he was 25, and her death rocked his world.

He’s written about her in many of his songs, but he also takes an approach to grief that he refers to as “going on offense.”


In an interview on Podcrushed, Grammer explained what he means by that.

“If I see someone that’s the same age as my mother in front of me in line, I’ll go on offense and I’ll be like, ‘Hey, I lost my mom and I don’t get to buy her stuff. Would you mind if I bought your coffee?’ I’ll just live that way. And when you live that way, crazy stuff happens.”

He shared a story as an example.

Grammer was eating breakfast at a cafe in Boston back in 2018 near where he was playing a show. He saw a group of women about his mom’s age at a table and had that feeling that he wanted to buy their breakfast. He hesitated because it was so close to the venue he was playing and he didn’t want to seem like he was doing something nice to draw attention to himself, but the feeling persisted.

“Finally, I just give into it and I walk over and I say, ‘Listen, my mom passed away. One of the things I like to do for her is just pay for women’s breakfasts sometimes. It would mean a lot to me…if you would just let me pay for your breakfast this morning.’ The lady on the left just starts bawling. And she says, ‘I lost my son. He was about your age.’ So we both stand up and I’m just like bawling with a stranger.”

The worst thing that can happen when you stay open and follow those inner promptings, Grammer says, is that you feel stupid sometimes if someone responds like you’re being weird. But most of the time, that’s not the reaction.

“I dare everyone to live and to play with it,” he said. “Grief doesn’t have to be something that just hits you when you’re not ready for it.”

He suggests to people who are grieving the loss of someone to think of something specific about that person, something they did or something they loved, and go out and offer that thing to other people.

“Their thing was to make bread? Set days and make bread and give it out. Go on offense to be a part of it, and get this really sweet feeling of remembering them.”

Watch how he explains:

@podcrushed

Go on offense with grief 🖤 #grief #loss #lossofaparent

Grammer’s approach really resonated with people who have lost loved ones themselves.

“I don’t who this man is but I just lost my dad who just turned 60 and I struggle so much with it. I’m sobbing at how beautiful this approach is,” shared one person.

“Lost my dad to the pandemic and this feels like this thinking I might be a game changer for me. Thank you,” wrote another.

“I’m so utterly affected by this conversation. It speaks to healing with community by giving ourselves permission to connect with others,” shared another.

“Thank you. My mom died two years ago and I’m so tired of people telling me to get over it and move on. I want to celebrate her all the time,” someone else added.

“THIS IS SO GOOD. I lost my mom too and could not agree more. I’ve never heard it explained like ‘offense’ love it ❤️❤️,” added another.

Grammer and the hosts of Podcrushed went deeper into grief processing in their full conversation. You can listen to the Podcrushed episode with Andy Grammer here.