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LAS VEGAS — After wins over Illinois and top-seeded Kansas during the opening weekend of the 2023 NCAA Tournament, the Arkansas Razorbacks were a “hot” team in college basketball circles. Eric Musselman’s club struggled to live up to lofty preseason expectations in 2022-23, but the Razorbacks seemingly put things together in two impressive wins. Beyond that, the Arkansas roster many prognosticators loved in the preseason includes multiple future NBA players and, with recent history on its side after Elite 8 runs in both 2021 and 2022, it was easy to see the Razorbacks as dangerous despite the No. 8 seed in the West Region. However, Arkansas ran into a buzzsaw on Thursday evening in a Sweet 16 matchup against the UConn Huskies and, in a hurry, the Huskies sent a reminder to the remainder of the field that they are contender-worthy with an 88-65 destruction.

If anything, UConn was equally impressive during the first weekend, pulling away from a plucky Iona team in the opening round and cruising past a St. Mary’s team that was beloved by computer models throughout the season. In the opener of the first-ever NCAA Tournament Regional in Las Vegas, though, the Huskies wasted absolutely no time in putting the pedal to the floor and showcasing sky-high upside.

The pace of the game was torrid for an afternoon tip-off in Las Vegas, though UConn forced Arkansas to blink first. The Huskies began to establish pace and physicality from the opening tip, generating impressive shot quality and execution in the process.

Then came the first of multiple haymakers from UConn in the form of a 14-0 run. Before Arkansas finally dented the scoreboard again, the Huskies took a 34-17 lead that was complete with off-the-charts offensive numbers.

UConn scored 34 points on its first 20 possessions of the game, a pace that would be impressive regardless of opponent and circumstance. The Huskies shot 13-of-21 from the field and 4-of-8 from three-point range in the first 12 minutes, securing six of the team’s eight missed shots on the offensive glass to boot.

“We got off to a fast start offensively,” said UConn head coach Dan Hurley. “We were really sharp, our passing was sharp. And I thought we just had a great mix of creating openings for our shooters, feeding Adama and Donovan in the ball-screen game, in and then the low post. We were coming at them from so many different places offensively. I think we just had them on their heels and when we did get defensive rebound opportunities we were able to create some things in transition. I just think we were able to get them on their heels like straightaway in the game.”

From there, the Huskies shot 61 percent in the opening half and scored almost as many points in the paint (24) as Arkansas scored in total points (29) before the break. UConn didn’t ride a performance of individual brilliance to that lofty baseline either, as the Huskies relied on trademark balance and force to effectively generate any shot they wanted in the first 20 minutes. Throw in the fact that Arkansas entered the game with a top-15 mark in the country in adjusted defensive efficiency, and the impressive nature of the showing comes into focus.

With a comfortable halftime lead, the temptation may have been there for UConn to pedal off to start the second half, but the Huskies did the opposite. In fact, UConn produced a 14-2 run to take a 62-33 lead with 15:44 to go, opening the half by making five of its first six shots and generating four assists in short order.

Admittedly, no team could reasonably maintain the torrid pace established by UConn in the first 24 minutes, and the Huskies did emerge from a timeout with their worst stretch of the game. Arkansas scored the next ten points, ratcheting up the defensive pressure, and UConn’s ball security issues emerged for a short period. The Huskies commit a turnover on nearly 19 percent of possessions this season and, if there is an Achilles heal for what is a top-five offense in the sport, that is it. Still, the storm passed and, when UConn broke two straight presses for open three-pointers, the team’s advancement to the Elite 8 was all but secure with more than ten minutes remaining.

UConn’s 29-point lead early in the second half turned into a 23-point margin at the final horn but, even with several minutes of cruise control to the finish, the Huskies scored nearly 1.3 points per possession and limited the Razorbacks to less than a point per offensive trip. While the offense deservedly drew the headlines, UConn held Arkansas to just 32 percent shooting with more turnovers than assists.

Jordan Hawkins, a wing with an NBA future, led UConn with 24 points, while big man Adama Sanogo anchored the Huskies inside with 18 points and eight rebounds in only 24 minutes of action. Even with those considerable contributions from standouts, it was also a night of balance for UConn, with the team shooting 57 percent from the field with an egalitarian offensive approach and nearly a 50 percent offensive rebound rate.

“I thought obviously we just played pretty much exactly to our team identity,” Hurley said. “We played elite defense. Offensively the 22 assists, the inside, the outside, and the rebounding dominance, and really where we are right now is exactly where we talked about where we would be, when we got together. After we lost the first-round game last year we met in the boardroom, we sat together and said this is where we’re going to be. We’re exactly where we thought we would be. And obviously we’re thrilled to play one more to go to the Final Four.”

On one hand, this level of carnage against a quality opponent would be noteworthy in any context. Arkansas was a No. 8 seed in the field, but the Hogs entered the evening at No. 18 in the country in KenPom’s advanced rankings. This was also a well-coached opponent that, while the Razorbacks did struggle, was not violently overmatched from a talent standpoint. Instead, it was an effort that should raise eyebrows across the country, at least for those not already plugged into UConn as a national title contender.

Those familiar with advanced metrics were already clued into the Huskies. After all, UConn was No. 4 in the country at KenPom before the tournament began, even as the Huskies earned only a No. 4 seed. The Huskies truly dominate on the offensive glass, grabbing 39 percent of missed shots for the season, and the team’s elite offense is at least approached by its defense with a top-15 national mark in efficiency. UConn wasn’t the most consistent team during the regular season, as evidenced by eight losses, but the Huskies seem to be peaking at the right time and that was already the case before Thursday.

“We had a really tough January, but we play in a really tough conference,” Hawkins said. “We knew we had to flip the switch. When it hit February, I think that’s when things changed for us. We started to play better. We knew that time was coming where guys had to step up. And we have a team full of guys that could step up.”

Since Feb. 1, UConn is No. 1 in the country in adjusted efficiency, per barttorvik.com. Those numbers did not include the picture-perfect showing against Arkansas, and the Huskies were effectively co-favorites (at least in the betting market) to win the West Region as of Thursday morning. That isn’t to say that UConn isn’t vulnerable to a hiccup along the way, as any team would, but in a season marked by whispers of parity at the top and the absence of true dominance, the Huskies do possess the kind of ceiling outcome that most teams in the tournament can only aspire to over a single 40-minute window.

The Huskies will advance to take on the winner of the nightcap between No. 2 seed UCLA and No. 3 Gonzaga, with UConn seemingly out of place against a west coast opponent in Las Vegas. Still, the UConn faithful will likely be out in force in Sin City, and fans of the Huskies accurately wear the confidence that their team can match the ceiling of any squad in the tournament.

Each March, Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley, and Kenny Smith go on loan from their posts on Inside the NBA to do studio coverage of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

Barkley may not be a college basketball expert, but he always brings his earnest, unfiltered opinions when it comes to the tournament and the NCAA. That is welcome, particularly when it comes to calling out the NCAA in a way folks whose checks come solely from covering college sports on an NCAA partner can’t, and on Thursday night we got a pretty incredible example of that.

After airing a pretaped sitdown where Greg Gumbel and Clark Kellogg interviewed the new NCAA president Charlie Baker, CBS turned back to the live studio for reaction to Baker’s thoughts on the current NIL landscape, particularly his stance that he will try to get Congress involved to draft up some form of national NIL legislation. Barkley offered a take only he can get away with on a national network, as he explained it “pisses me off” for a simple reason: “our politicians are awful people.”

“Did he say we gon’ ask the politicians to help us? See, that pisses me off already,” Chuck says. “Our politicians are awful people. As I talked to Clark earlier, I would actually go to people who actually care about basketball, not looking at it just in terms – I would put a committee together. I would love for Clark to be on the committee, get some coaches, get some players, and let’s try to work this thing out. We can’t ask these politicians nothin. Those people are awful people – Democrats and Republicans, they’re all crooks.”

This honestly might be the best point Chuck’s made in his entire tenure doing NCAA Tournament coverage. Just from a general standpoint, it’s pretty hard to argue with his political commentary here, but from the specifics of NIL legislation, it’s pretty absurd to try and handle it from by going through national lawmakers rather than the NCAA actually serving as a governing body and putting together actual policies for member schools to abide by. Barkley’s idea of a committee made up of players, coaches, and others who, in his words, “actually care about basketball” would be a much better start to creating effective policy compared to requesting Congress come up with a national NIL law. I also can’t help but chuckle at Barkley getting to go on his rants usually reserved for 1 a.m. ET on TNT on a primetime CBS broadcast.

Over the past few months, NLE Choppa has been dropping heater after heater ahead of his much-anticipated album, Cottonwood 2. On his latest, “Ain’t Gonna Answer,” Choppa collaborates with his favorite rapper, Lil Wayne, as generations collide and cook up an anthem for the ages.

Over a New Orleans bounce-inspired beat, the Memphis rapper masters the Cash Money flows. On the chorus, he interpolates Birdman and and Lil Wayne’s “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy,” rapping, “Don’t be worried ’bout what we be doing / What we doing making money / What they doing hating on us.”

This transitions smoothly into the post-chorus, where he matches the flow of Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Up,” declaring, “Big booty b*tch, made her back her ass up / Shots out the switch made him bag this man up / Say that she yo b*tch, she my private dancer / You can call her phone, but she ain’t gon’ answer.”

In the video, Choppa and Weezy are seen delivering their verses while surrounded by twerking women. Toward the end, an aspiring rapper hops out of a car to show Choppa — well — some surprising bars.

You can check out the video for “Ain’t Gonna Answer” above.

Cottonwood 2 is out 4/14 via Warner Records. Find more information here.

NLE Choppa is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

This week on Top Chef World All-Stars, which is taking place in London, the theme was Pub Food. Damn, three weeks in and we’re already on pub food? It makes you wonder what British things Top Chef producers are saving up for sweeps week. Hmmm, what else to the English like to do… hunt foxes? Get tattoos? Do comedy in drag? Spend weeks aboard ship? (“The theme for this week’s challenge? Rum, sodomy, and the lash!”)

Anyway, on this week’s episode, our judges woke up the contestants extra early to announce that they’d be going on a pub crawl. That’s the name for the act of going to one pub, having a few pints, and then going to another pub, and having a few more. Haha, we have fun, don’t we?

They actually announced it like it was good news. Guess what, guys? No quickfire challenge today! And there was much rejoicing. Most of the contestants immediately smelled a rat, nursing their pints gently instead of quaffing them crudely, as is tradition. They were so suspicious that it barely registered as a surprise when, at the conclusion of the pub crawl, the contestants learned that they’d be paired together in teams of two and tasked with reinventing a pub classic, at which time they’d be judged and subject to a DOUBLE ELIMINATION.

I’m guessing that “no quickfire this week” announcement would’ve gone over like a lead lorry if the contestants had had all the facts at hand at the time. “So let me get this straight, there’s no possibility of immunity, AND you’re going to send two of us home based on our ability to reinterpret some medieval porridge bomb? Gosh, what great news, how can we ever thank you?”

For the occasion, Tom decided to debut this season’s first statement hat. I’m calling this look “Samuel L. Colicchio.”

My man lookin’ like he’s about to go star in Plaid Fiction. Capital One: What’s in your flannel? “‘Royale with cheese?’ What do they call a hamachi crudo in Amsterdam?” “I dunno, I didn’t go into a Nobu.”

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself again. First it was off to the Lamb & Flag (which we learned used to be called “The Bucket Of Blood”) for fish and chips, fisherman’s pie, and a Sunday roast. Then they trundled down to The Jack Horner for shepherd’s pie, steak and ale pie, and toad in the hole. Finally, they stumbled off to Trafalgar Tavern for scotch eggs and bangers and mash. My God, these all sound like “your mom” jokes. Jack Horner? I hardly know ‘er!

After that, the contestants drew numbers, paired up according to number, and then had to decide whether they’d rather feed Padma their roast beef or have her handle their scotch eggs (I wrote 10 different versions of this sentence and this one was the most PG).

Feeding acclaimed chefs from all over the world British food feels like a great social media prank video, and it worked pretty well as a Top Chef challenge too. It led to all manner of horrified faces and hilarious malapropisms. I’m calling it a tie between Victoire’s “toad in the wall” and Begoña’s “bagels and smash” for the best one. Who knew a slight language barrier would be the best thing that ever happened to this show?

I like to kid the British, but the sad truth of it is, I really enjoy pub food. Yorkshire puddings are my passion and I could never turn down a gravy-filled pie or a nice plump sausage.

…Please don’t turn these into your mom jokes, my family is starving.

The Teams:

Dale & May. (Team Scotch Egg)

Reviews: “Not crispy enough.” “Definitely needed to be cooked longer.”

Tom & Sara. (Team Sheperd’s Pie)

Reviews: “I think that Tom and Sara’s dish is totally delicious.” “It feels like a restaurant dish.”

Nicole & Charbel. (Team Sunday Roast)

Reviews: “If I took away the Yorkshire pudding, would you still say that looks like a nice roast dinner?” “This is like a Monday roast.” “The Yorkshire pudding could save the dish.”

Buddha & Luciana. (Team Fisherman’s Pie)

Reviews: “That was unreal.” “Fish was cooked amazing.” “Usually when you get a deconstructed dish, it’s cooked well, but it doesn’t taste like the dish. This is cooked well and–” “–It tastes exactly like fish pie.”

Amar & Ali. (Team Fish & Chips)

Reviews: “These chips — unreal.” “The big problem with this dish is that the batter’s not crispy, it’s not crispy at all.” “Feels a bit cakey, sort of.”

Begoña & Gabri. (Team Bangers & Mash)

Reviews: “That one’s my favorite.” “It didn’t have any resemblance to the dish in any way, but the flavor is comforting and warming in the same way.” “I practically licked my plate clean.”

Victoire & Sylwia. (Team Toad In The Hole).

Reviews: “This is a great first dish.” “I find this a little sweet.”

Results:

Top Teams:

Begoña & Gabri*; Buddha & Luciana.

Bottom:

May & Dale**. Amar & Ali.

(*Winner. **Eliminated.)

Power Rankings (change from last week)

14. (-5) ((Eliminated)) Dale Mackaye

AKA: Johnnycakes. Lance Farmstrong.

Dish:

Thai-Style Scotch Egg With Thai Sausage, Salad, Cilantro Aioli, and Thai Fish Sauce Dressing.

Not to be outdone by Samuel L. Colicchio, Johnnycakes proved that it wasn’t just Tom debuting a new look this week when he rocked up to the pub crawl in this jaunty little cycling-inspired number.

Hence his new nickname, Lance Farmstrong (Johnnycakes is from Saskatoon).

I was actually pretty bummed about Dale and May’s elimination this week, as they had become two of the more memorable contestants, and actually seemed like they both had a decent shot at winning. But as they say, styles make fights. These two just could not work together.

Choosing first, they soon fought over which dish to choose. Johnnycakes wanted fish and chips but allowed May to overrule him and choose Scotch eggs.

I’m Monday morning quarterbacking him here, but one of the crucial mistakes seemed to be Johnnycakes letting May choose the dish, but then overruling her on the concept of it. Obviously, she had an idea, if you’re going to let her choose the dish, why not go all in? No one likes an egg by committee, bro.

Then they fought over whether the egg should be presented whole or cut in half. May said whole, Johnnycakes said halved… I don’t think it particularly mattered at that point. The big issue in both of the loser dishes was a not-crispy-enough fry… or so the editors would have us believe.

That sort of felt like a lead up to Amar and Ali being sent home, but instead it turned out to be a little rope-a-dope and the judges sent home Johnnycakes and May. I have to think that had more to do with the fact that May and Johnnycakes’ only real contribution to the dish was Thai spices and a little salad underneath because otherwise it was mostly just a regular Scotch egg, and a not-crispy one at that. Both chefs seemed like they had a lot more in them, but it’s hard to deny the logic.

I just wish they would’ve shown Johnnycakes’ sad bike ride home, maybe a slow-motion shot of him spraying the water bottle on his face to wash away the loss… so cinematic!

13. (-10) ((Eliminated)) May Phattanand Thongthong

AKA: Onions. Sisqo.

A 10-spot free fall in a single episode! Damn, I really thought that with all the human interest editing packages about May in the last episode that she would be one of this season’s favorites. It seems like cruel and unusual punishment to force a Thai chef to make British food, but May made beautiful music out of Marmite last week so she seemed capable. This week it was almost as if the food Gods cackled, “Oh, British food wasn’t enough of a handicap for her? How ’bout we throw in a Canadian!”

Johnnycakes proved himself capable over the first two episodes, but I feel like Chef May had the better idea here. She successfully got her way in choosing the Scotch egg, but then it felt like she maybe tried to make things fair by deferring when it came time to decide how to do the Scotch egg. Hate to say it, but she should’ve just stuck to her guns and risked being the asshole.

Buddha offered the blueprint.

12. (+2) Luciana Berry

AKA: Smoke Alarm. Crinkle.

Dish:

Cod With Seafood And Potatoes, Pomme Purée, Mussels & Champagne Sauce.

Yes, Luciana was on a top-finishing team this week, but I’m still going to sandbag her a little in the rankings. What was meant to be her big contribution to her and Buddha’s riff on Fisherman’s Pie, a potato puree, ended up being a little too thicc for Buddha’s tastes (potatoes turn into drywall paste if you overwork them in a food processor). Just like last week, there was a big PRE-COMMERCIAL BREAK TEASE of some kind of HUGE DRAMA breaking out when Luciana would inevitably throw a huge tantrum over her unrequited potatoes.

Instead she… just sort of shrugged and went along with the program. Seems like maybe her “Brazilian Fire” has been doused by more than a decade in the UK. She must be giving these producers dramatic blue balls. I’m changing “Brazilian Fire” to Smoke Alarm because that seems more accurate to the scale of her tantrums. I’d call her Minute Rice but I already nicknamed Victoire that.

Luciana thought her potatoes were just fine, but after the win, we were basically left to conclude that Buddha had made the right call. Can we get an unbiased potato referee in here PLEASE?? Who was right? Who was wrong?

Time will tell, folks.

11. (+1) Nicole Gomes

AKA: Clawhoser. The Contessa. Teach.

Dish:

Pork Tenderloin With Leek Fondue, Celeriac Potatoes, Glazed Carrots, And Yorkshire Pudding.

If you had played a drinking game where you drank every time Nicole called a Yorkshire Pudding a “yorkie” you would’ve been butt-housed halfway through this episode. Oh my God, stop trying to make “yorkie” happen!

Speaking of incredibly minor drama, Nicole had a moment where someone took her empty muffin tin out of the oven (where it was heating up in preparation to receive the yorkie batter, god that sounds weirdly sexual) and so she made a big speech that she needed the tin in there and they were not to remove it. Do you all understand me? …Anyone?

It was as though Nicole expected them all to stop what they were doing and stand at attention and yell “yes, chef!” in unison. Which Chef Sara correctly identified as annoying in a snide remark. Anyway, Nicole probably saved her team with that yorkie. On the other hand, the rest of their dish was a pork tenderloin, which looked like it was cooked perfectly, but there’s a low limit for how good a pork tenderloin can possibly be. Not even stuffed or wrapped with pork belly or anything?? Swapping a fatty roast beef out for an ultra-lean pork tenderloin is not an improvement.

Tom calling it a “Monday Roast” sounds like the bitchiest diss in the world but I’m kind of on board with it. Pork tenderloin is a weeknight meal, not a drunken splurge. So do we credit Nicole for a great yorkie or sandbag her for the rest of the dish? I don’t really know, so I’m leaving her basically where she was.

10. (+3) Victoire Gouloubi

AKA: Al Dente. Minute Rice. Steven Seagal. Three’s Company.

African Spiced Sausage, Yorkshire Pudding, Truffle Powder, Creme Chantilly With Mustard & Honey.

“So, Victoire, how do you like your Toad In The Hole?”

That was my impression of Victoire’s initial reaction to “Toad in the Hole,” basically a British version of pigs in a blanket involving sausage and a Yorkshire pudding (it sounds pretty good to me, honestly).

This whole episode was basically a riff on the language barrier working in Victoire’s favor. She contributed most of the hilarious misunderstandings this episode, first by calling Toad in a Hole “Toad in the Wall” (which is funny even though it makes no less sense than the original) and then by not understanding the word “ready.” Sylwia kept asking her if her component was “ready” and Victoire thought it was some kind of ingredient. Begoña had to break the verbal stalemate by asking “listo?”

Spanish somehow did the trick, even though Victoire is a Congolese chef who works in Italy, which leads me to believe that she must speak a good five different languages. Still funny when she calls it Toad in the Wall though! Haha, that’s not the name, you silly goose!

Another great moment came when Sylwia kept trying to convince Victoire to choose Toad in the Hole (ultimately successfully, even though Victoire hated the original). To which Victoire quipped, “The last time someone say me don’t worry, I lose my house.”

She has some sort of Frenchified Rodney Dangerfield going on and I appreciate it. Later she described her Toad in a Hole sauce as “like orgasm” in a voice I can only describe as “disturbingly husky.”

9. (+1) Amar Santana

AKA: Big Sleazy. Laughtrack. Hibbert.

Dish:

Seaweed Battered cod, Minted Peas, Mint & Tahini Veloute, Tartar Sauce With Calamansi & Malt Vinegar Fries.

It seems like Big Sleazy has taken it upon himself to provide the live studio audience laughter track to this season. Everything seemed to make him laugh this episode, including teammate Ali’s riff that they were team fish and chips, “he’s fish, I’m chips!”

A C- minus riff at best, but Amar was laughing like he was in a crowd shot on Def Comedy Jam. That maaay have had something to do with the fact that Amar seemed like the only guy on the pub crawl actually drinking like he was on a pub crawl. Whereas everyone else was all “Oh no, we’re on a competition show, I better sip this drink just in case!” Amar seemed to figure “if I’m in London on a pub crawl, I’m gonna do a goddamned pub crawl.”

A fun hog, a man after my own heart, etc.

That is 1000% what I would’ve done, but I’ve also been saying that Amar’s casual attitude might end up biting him in the ass at some point, and this week it almost did. Actually, it seemed like he worked pretty hard, testing and remaking that fish and chips batter umpteen times and still falling short of the judges’ rigid crispiness standards. ‘Twas not a good day for fried foods, my friends. Was the culprit whole eggs in the batter? Yeah, that sounds right to me.

At first I thought Amar and Ali would end up getting sent home, as non-crispy fish and chips does sound like a mortal food sin. Upon further reflection, I have to admit “Seaweed Battered Cod, Minted Peas, Mint & Tahini Veloute, Tartar Sauce With Calamansi & Malt Vinegar Fries” does sound a lot more inventive than Dale and May’s fusion ass scotch egg. They also apparently nailed the chips, which one would think would be a lot harder than fried fish, if one has ever tried to make french fries at home (spoiler alert: lots of steps, multiple fries — it’s hard!).

Malt vinegar salt was also a stroke of genius. I love that vinegar flavor on the fries, but it does seem weird to put straight liquid on your nice crispy fried stuff (sloppy steaks much?).

Flavored salt seems like a simple, elegant solution. (I like to mix that malt vinegar with some mayo and MSG for a nice lil’ dipping sauce).

8. (-2) Charbel Hayek

AKA: Davos. Soup Nazi. 25.

If Charbel goes another episode without reminding us that he’s 25, like he did three times in the opening episode, I’m going to have to change that nickname. Charbel also seems to have cooled off after a hot start. He was on team Sunday Roast with Nicole, and the way she said the word “yorkie” 1700 times we were left to assume that the Yorkshire Pudding component of the dish was her baby and the roast was Charbel’s.

If there’s one thing you expect a Middle Eastern chef to be able to do, it’s roast some meat. I don’t know if pork tenderloin was his attempt to throw them a curve, but that looked dull as hell and a little sad. Super lean pork is always disappointing.

7. (+3) Sylwia Stachyra

AKA: Auntie Claus. Potato Girl.

Whereas the chefs from spice-based regions naturally struggled with the gravy-and-beige palette of British cuisine, Chef Sylwia finally had a chance to prove that all her potato talk wasn’t just idle boasting. Or, in Sylwia’s own unforgettable words: “I love pub food. Even though everyone says is crap and shit; for me is amazing.”

How can you not love Sylwia? A human interest vignette also revealed that she studied law in the UK, and then took the money her parents gave her for a post-graduate degree and used it to open a restaurant instead. Sometimes I wish I would’ve done that. Then I’d probably be trying to do real work instead of coming up with toad-in-the-hole sex puns for literal dozens of clamoring recap readers.

Ah, the road not taken.

Aaaaanyway, Sylwia made a number of bold moves this episode, first strong-arming Victoire into playing Toad In The Hole. Er, cooking Toad In The Hole, sorry about that. Then she replaced the Yorkshire pudding component of the dish (which, remember, single-handedly saved Charbel and Nicole’s entire dish) with something called a “lemieszka,” which according to this google translated website is sort of a volcano made from boiled potatoes and flour (all gnocchi-like, to us Italians) into which one pours a sauce made from “fried onions, cream, and pork scratchings.”

Sylwia and Victoire substituted African spiced sausage for the scratchings, but again, a bold choice. And it paid off, because, as we’ve noted, Britons love nothing more than being introduced to new and beige foods.

6. (+1) Gabri Rodriguez

AKA: The Black Pearl. The Mongoose.

Dish:

Pork Belly With Potato Foam Mash, Sausage Gravy & Crunchy Onion Cookie.

Chef Gabri paired with Chef Begoña this week (Mexico and Spain, together again). Begoña asked herself a rhetorical question in the confessional: “What is Chef Gabri like…” which Gabri completed before she could finish the thought — “He’s gay!”

Wait, what??? This man is a homosexual? My jaw hit the floor. You think you know someone and then this…

Anyway, later on Chef Gabri described the chefs as “running around like dogs in a boat,” which is one of those odd non-native-English-speaker similes that it takes a second to realize is actually perfect. Dogs on boats do be stumbling.

Gabri and Begoña ended up putting together another space-food-ass concoction that Begoña is becoming known for. Gabri seemed like a disorganized, dog-on-a-boat ass mess the whole time, perfectly stabilized by his art mom, Begoña, who taught him it’s okay to be weird.

At least, that’s my surface read on it. The more I think about it, Gabri kind of always seems like a disorganized mess, but then he usually ends up winning or coming close. The Black Pearl! He even has me fooled.

5. (+1) Sara Bradley

AKA: Party Mom. Reebok. Sassparilla.

Dish:

Shepherd’s Pie With Lamb Dust, Pea Gel, Pea Purée, Fresh Peas, & Lamb Stock Infused Carrots.

Kentucky spark plug Chef Sara paired with Tom the smirking Teutonic F-Boy this week and it turned out to be an oddly perfect pairing. I would watch that travel show. When Sara wasn’t making correct snide remarks about Nicole treating everyone like a kindergarten teacher she was quipping about Tom using his jellying agents in his hair.

I imagine this dish, which included “lamb dust,” would be hopelessly up its own ass if not for Sara’s plainspoken hillbilly ballbusting. Mostly I’m just guessing here, because that dish looks incredibly obnoxious but the judges seemed to love it, so…

4. (even) Ali Ghzawi

AKA: RRR. Maui Wowie. The Strain. Giz.

Rhyming named chef Ali Ghzawi, who sounds like a marijuana strain, teamed with Amar this episode, and together they seemed to become the exception that proves the rule that a harmonious team vibe leads to better food. They chose fish and chips, which did seem a particularly tough one. How do you reinterpret something so simple without losing what makes it good in the first place?

They ended up sort of half deconstructing it, with four meat chunks on different plate quadrants, with a puree in the middle and some chips out on a side island. Eh? The bad fish batter — apparently Amar’s fault — almost got them sent home, but the delicious malt-salted chips — also apparently Amar’s fault — probably saved them.

This brings us to Ali. Good job cooking those peas… I guess?

3. (even) Tom Goetter

AKA: Meekus. Günter. Brüno. Ümlaüt. Fickejunge.

Programming note: for the past few weeks, I’ve been mistakenly calling Tom “Brint,” when the Alexander Skarsgarder character from Zoolander I was looking for was clearly named “Meekus.” We regret the error.

Exsqueeze me, Tom has definitely heard of styling gel, and also many other kinds of gels, and purees as well, as he proved in this week’s dish, a riff on shepherd’s pie which include pea gel, pea puree, AND fresh peas. That is so many different kinds of peas! Especially for a dish that looks like a few very small piles of stuff.

Tom seems like whatever the German equivalent is of a “rascal.” As Barry Keoghan is to the Irish, so Tom is to the Germans. Haha, ja!

2. (even) Buddha Lo

AKA: Moneyball. Double Down. Big Data. Buddha.

Buddha seems like the most singularly focused, shark-eyed, homework-doing contestant this show has ever had, but even all that poise and razor focus couldn’t stop the Australian in him from coming out on the pub crawl. I lived in Australia for a bit and got engaged there, and this, from the author Paul Theroux, is one of my all-time favorite description of Australians, which feels apt here:

Australians (it seemed to me) were people who appeared to be at ease when in fact they were simply controlling their emotions, and being on good behavior, because the slightest relaxation of this stiffened vigilance would have them howling. They were like people who had only recently been domesticated, like youths in their late teens sitting among adults, rather upright and formal and wooden, because as soon as they loosen their grip or have one beer too many they slip into leering familiarity and all hell breaks loose. What you took to be good manners was simply the forced, self-conscious behavior of someone holding on. Much of the time Australians had the exaggerated and unconvincing manners of drunks pretending to be sober.

Every college party I went to in Australia began with incredibly specific rules of dress and conduct and dissolved into pure chaos after about three beers, at which point people would start swinging from the rafters and pissing on each other like apes. I’m clearly in no position to judge them for it — it was one of my favorite qualities. I get misty-eyed just thinking about it. My American friends hardly ever piss on me.

Anyway, this week Buddha drank just enough pints to prove notably terrible at Spanish pronunciation, even in the land of gwocky molo. “Pa’dentro” eluded him entirely, which seems like it might be an issue in American kitchens, where Spanglish is generally the lingua franca. He had as hard a time wrapping his mouth around Gabri’s toast as I do trying to recreate Buddha’s Australian drawl of “Oy’m nawt ready goer hoooeeerrrme.”

As soon as the pub crawl was over, Buddha transformed back into a culinary killbot, carefully constructing a piece of cod with cucumber scales held together with MEAT GLUE. The picture of the sliced fish actually didn’t do justice to how ridiculous that looked.

Buddha also, as previously noted, did what May wasn’t willing to do, calling Luciana out on her gluey potatoes and taking over. “Redoing the potatoes isn’t hard, but convincing a Top Chef winner that their potatoes aren’t good enough, that’s gonna be the hard part.”

It turned out not to be that hard. Maybe there’s a lesson in that.

1. (even) Begoña Rodrigo

AKA: Tilde Swintón. Beach Mom. Thtevie Nickth.

Begoña seems like the platonic ideal of a spacy new-age lady, like she came out of the womb wearing turquoise jewelry and dreaming of running a stylish yet eclectic clothing boutique outside Joshua Tree. Tasked with recreating bangers and mash, which she adorably called “bagels and smash” in her Spanish lisp, she came up with this:

Yes, that is an onion cookie shaped like a doily on top. The description doesn’t come even close to doing this justice, which somehow looks even more out there than her pumpkin sea anenome bedecked in flowers from episode one.

This lady is not from this planet. I love her.

Talib Kweli, Madlib, and Diani have dropped their new music video for the “Air Quotes” collab. The free-flowing song finds them reflecting on the current state of the rap industry.

“Most rappers cowards cuz they scared to be conscious / They only care about they pockets / This is not a popularity contest,” Kweli raps during his verse. “B*tches is tasteless and disappointing / And I didn’t give ’em my ear to / Air sh*t / I’m a heiress / I’m the one they compare to.”

The video, which was shot by Chino Chase, finds the trio rapping in front of various backdrops, including a stack of boomboxes and an artsy mural.

Kweli and Madlib most recently released their joint album, Liberation 2, which is available to stream on Luminary. It includes additional features with Q-Tip, Roc Marciano, Westside Gunn, Mac Miller, Roy Ayers, Goapele, Seun Kut, and more.

“Liberation 2 with Madlib will be on Luminary as well as vinyl after the Luminary release. People’s Party is still going strong — headed into a third season and just dropping our Season 2 finale, with Yasiin Bey — and I am happy about that,” Kweli told Uproxx about the album last fall.

Check out Talib Kweli and Madlib’s “Air Quotes” featuring Diani above.

The first game of the 2023 Sweet 16 did not disappoint in the slightest, as Kansas State and Michigan State put on an absolute thriller in Madison Square Garden, with the 3-seeded Wildcats taking down the 7-seeded Spartans in a 98-93 overtime showdown for the ages.

The game was tight throughout, with a 7-point lead being the biggest of the night for either squad, as they went back and forth for 45 minutes, trading blows in a high-scoring shootout. Michigan State had the leading scorer of the game, as AJ Hoggard put up 25 to go along with six assists, but the star of the night was New York native Markquis Nowell, as the diminutive guard continues to steal the spotlight in March with sensational play, putting forth a record-setting performance to lead the Wildcats to the win.

Nowell finished the game with 20 points, most of which came in the final 15 minutes of action, and an NCAA Tournament record 19 assists, alongside 5 steals. He did just about everything, and spent the second half battling through a rolled ankle that he had to get taped up on the sideline.

We’ll start with the closing 90 seconds of regulation, which saw Nowell put Kansas State in front by four with a stepback midrange jumper from the left wing with just over a minute to play.

After a Malik Hall tip-in cut the lead to two, Nowell went for the dagger from way downtown and came up empty, giving Michigan State a chance to tie the game or take the lead on the final possession. The Spartans put the ball in the hands of Tyson Walker, who drove to the rim and hit a runner off glass with five seconds left, with the two biggest points of his 16-point performance.

Walker would put Michigan State in front by three in overtime, but from that point it became the Nowell show, as he had his hands in just about every big play for Kansas State down the stretch as a facilitator. After hitting a pair of free throws to cut the lead to one, Nowell rifled a pass to David N’Guessan for a go-ahead layup.

Down two he again found N’Guessan cutting to the rim, this time on a filthy bounce pass that was his best of the night.

That was the highlight of the night for all of one minute, as with just under a minute to play in a tie game, he set up a gorgeous midcourt lob to Keyontae Johnson, lulling the Michigan State defense to sleep by seeming to pretend to argue with coach Jerome Tang over the playcall.

After another ambitious logo three from Nowell got ever-so-slightly tipped and went out of bounds, the Wildcats needed to draw up a quick hitter with a one-point lead and under five seconds on the shot clock. After a string of timeouts from both teams, they drew up a beauty to get Ismael Massoud open on the baseline, as he connected with a big jumper off Nowell’s 19th dime of the game to put K-State up by three.

On the final possession, Michigan State seemed overly obsessed with finding a perfect look, turning down a few good looks from three before Walker tried to rush into a pullup over Nowell, who stripped him clean and darted to the rim for a layup at the buzzer.

It was a tremendous game, which was good because the other game in the window was a blowout as UConn trounced Arkansas, and Nowell continues to cement his status as a March Madness legend. They’ll know await the winner of FAU-Tennessee in the nightcap at MSG, who they’ll play on Saturday for a chance at the Final Four.

After teasing the project earlier this month, EST Gee finally dropped his new album, Mad last week. One of the instant standouts on Mad is “Kada’s Song” on which, EST Gee reflects on friendships gone wrong, while allowing his friend and collaborator, Kada, to shine.

“You ain’t been backstabbed if you can’t relate / Yeah I got mob ties that I’m not gon’ say / I done been baptized and still don’t pray / You don’t know how that feel moving through God’s will,” EST GEE and Kada rap-sing on the song’s chorus.

In the song’s accompanying video, EST Gee and Kada are seen in a red room, sitting on thrones, surrounded by fire.

Mad arrives just six months after his major label debut album, I Never Felt Nun. In an interview with XXL, EST Gee revealed he plans to drop projects consistently this year.

“I’m gonna drop my album again,” he said. “And then drop another album, and just keep dropping albums and then I’m gonna keep just getting bigger and bigger until it’s bigger than anything.”

In the meantime, you can check out the video for “Kada’s Song” above.

Mad is out now via CMG and Interscope. Find more information here.

There are a few kinds of dog parents: ones that only have outside dogs, those who have inside dogs but they’re absolutely not allowed on the furniture and dog parents who treat their dog as if they birthed them themselves and give them every luxury invented for four-legged fur children.

Clearly, people are going to have feelings one way or the other about dogs and their place within a household, but I think everyone can agree that seeing a dog be pampered will always be adorable. Opie the Pit Bully is one of those lucky doggos who wound up living in the lap of luxury, and the pooch got to do a “pick a card” day to showcase that his owner loves him the mostest.

In a video uploaded to TikTok by Opie’s owner because…ya know, opposable thumbs and all…Opie is faced with two cards that he can’t read: 1) because he’s a dog, and 2) because the cards are facing toward the camera. That doesn’t stop the sweet puppers from playing along, though.

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Opie quickly picks his first card to start off his “pick a card” day where everything is all about him. He starts off strong with the choice of wearing a teddy bear robe. But the choices are so good that he can’t really go wrong. “PetSmart” or “dog park”? Both solid options for a dog date.

By the end of the date, Opie had gone on several adventures that resulted in cuteness overload. The video has over a million views and is full of comments agreeing that the pup is the goodest boy.

Watch the adorable doggy date below:

@opiethepitbully

Do we want to see a part 2? 👀 PJs & robe by @toothandhoney code WILDLY10 to save #pitbulls #bullybreedsoftictok #pitbulls_official #pitbullsaresweet #cutedogs

It’s been an exciting time for a couple of tortoises at the Houston Zoo—and really, for tortoises everywhere.

The zoo announced on its blog that their oldest resident, Mr. Pickles, a 90-year-old radiated tortoise, and his 53-year-old companion Mrs. Pickles (that’s quite an age gap there sir, but no judgment) recently welcomed three new hatchlings.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any better, here are the new baby names: Dill, Gherkin and Jalapeño.

Clearly, Jalepeño is the spicy one of the bunch.

While this news is certainly momentous for Mr. and Mrs. Pickles, it’s also a huge achievement for the entire species, which is currently critically endangered.

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Mr. Pickles has been a resident of the Houston Zoo for 36 years, and during that time had never produced offspring. So the staff, understandably, weren’t expecting incoming hatchlings any time soon. But then, just as the herpetology keeper was closing up for the day…surprise!

See on Instagram

Apparently it was a very good thing that the keeper noticed the eggs. As the blog explained, the soil in humid Houston “isn’t hospitable” to the drier earth of Madagascar, so without human assistance, the eggs likely wouldn’t have hatched. Talk about divine timing.

Due to overcollection for illegal sales, combined with the fact that radiated tortoises naturally don’t produce much offspring, their numbers in the wild have severely dwindled. So much so that they are expected by some to go extinct in the wild, making captivities all the more important.

First-time father Mr. Pickles has made all the more important of a contribution, since he is considered the most “genetically valuable” radiated tortoise in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums’ Species Survival Plan.

Basically, the zoo said it best. “These baby Pickles are a big dill.”

As for Dill, Gherkin and (my favorite) Jalepeño, the trio will live in the zoo’s Reptile & Amphibian House until they grow big enough to reunite with their parents.

Four hundred years ago, copies of William Tyndale’s English translation of the Bible were publicly burned by the bishop of London, with church authorities insisting that the Bible should only be read in Latin (and only by the clergy). In the centuries since, many books we now consider classics such as Daniel Defoe’s “Robinson Crusoe,” Jack London’s “Call of the Wild,” Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass,” Victor Hugo’s “Les Misérables, Charles Darwin’s “Origin of Species”—even Beatrix Potter’s “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” and “Benjamin Bunny”—have been banned or censored in one way or another in various countries.

Battles over books are nothing new, but once in a while, they become particularly ugly or absurd, prompting people to speak out against book bans.

People like 100-year-old Florida resident, Grace Linn, whose speech at a Martin County School Board meeting has gone viral.

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Author Jody Picoult, whose books have been in the crosshairs of the school district’s book policy that saw 92 titles pulled from shelves for removal or review, shared the video to her TikTok channel where it’s gotten a wave of supportive responses.

“I am Grace Linn. I am 100 years young,” the centenarian began. “I’m here to protest our schools’ district book-banning policy.”

Linn explained that her husband, Robert Nickel, was killed in action in World War II at age 26.

“One of the freedoms that the Nazis crushed was the freedom to read the books they’d banned,” she said. “They stopped the free press, banned and burned books.” She went on to say that the right to read is an essential right guaranteed by the First Amendment, yet it is continually under attack “by both public and private groups who think they hold the truth.”

Linn shared that she made a quilt last year, at age 99, in response to the book bans taking place around the country and in Martin County. Each quilt square shows a stack of books with titles of books that have been banned and targeted, including “Harry Potter,” “A Wrinkle in Time,” “Of Mice and Men,” “Beloved” and more. The quilt’s purpose, she said, was “to remind all of us that these few of so many more books that are banned and targeted need to be proudly displayed and protected—and read, if you choose to.”

Linn said that burning books and banning books is done for the same reason: fear of knowledge.

“Fear is not freedom. Fear is not liberty. Fear is control. My husband died as a father of freedom. I am a mother of liberty.”

Watch:

@jodipicoultbooks

I am so inspired by everyone who spoke up against book bánning at the Martin County School Board meeting today, including Grace Linn. Grace is, in her words, “100 years young.” She spoke about witnessing the rise of fascism during WWII, about losing her husband to the war when he was 26, and about protecting our freedom to read. Thank you, Grace, for reminding us that this is a part of history we must not repeat.

People loved Linn’s passionate defense of the freedom to read books, calling her an “inspiration,” a “hero” and a “helluva woman” in the comments.

Naturally, different people have different opinions about what books are appropriate for different ages, what should be required vs. voluntary reading and what kids should be shielded from. That’s the whole point. Librarians have long been trusted to curate generally age-appropriate material for children’s libraries and parents have always had the final say in what they allow their children to read, but laws such as the one passed in Florida are attempting to exert more control over what books are available. Not helping matters is that the law is vague and there has been a great deal of confusion as to whether educators could face felony charges for having offending material in their classrooms. Especially when offending material includes anything considered “critical race theory,” which could theoretically include any books that talk about racism in American history realistically.

Banning books requires setting subjective criteria for problematic material, and as we’ve seen with many of the book-banning policies, that criteria can easily stretch into ridiculousness. Who decides and by what measure are the questions that book bans leave on the table. Thank you, Grace Linn, for standing up for the freedom to decide for ourselves what we and our kids get to read.