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Once you reach over $100 in Scotch whisky, things start to get really interesting. We’re still a few levels away from the true high-end Scotch whisky that reaches into the 20 years old and above categories. Still, right above $100 per bottle, you’ll find great whisky distilleries putting out subtle peated smoky whiskies, unique oak cask finishings, and ages that reach into the mid-teens. It’s a good mix.

To help you decide which malted barley juice you should buy at this price point, I’m going to list 10 bottles of the good stuff that clock in between $100 and $125. For this list, I’ve ranked the ten bottles according to my professional opinion as a spirits judge and whiskey critic. All of these whiskies have great merit, but some are a little more on the mixing side of things than the “wow!” sipping side.

My advice is to read through my tasting notes and find something that speaks to you, something that excites you, and something that feels fresh. Then click on those price links to see if you can get that bottle in your stomping grounds.

• Johnnie Walker Vs. Chivas: Which Scotch Whisky Brand Will Win Our Blind Test?
• The 50 Best Scotch Whiskies Of 2022, Ranked
• The Best Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whiskies Under $100, Ranked
• World Class ‘Sipping’ Single Malt Whiskies Under $100, Ranked
• The Best Peated Single Malt Scotch Whisky, Blind Tasted And Ranked

10. The Sassenach Blended Scotch Whisky

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $102

The Whisky:

Yes, Scotch whisky has celebrity white-labeled brands too. This one comes from Outlander star Sam Heughan. The whisky’s recipe/build is under wraps so there’s not much more to say besides that Sam Heughan is not simply slapping his name on a bottle. He’s fully involved in the process as a deeply caring whisky fan who wants to put something special on the shelf.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Lemon drops and Almond Joys drive the nose with a hint of honey, bourbon vanilla, and dried apricot.

Palate: That apricot gets leathery on the palate as the malts arrive with plenty of honey and cinnamon-forward spice next to a hint of eggnog nutmeg.

Finish: The finish is concise with a little cinnamon, honey, and almond rounding things out.

Bottom Line:

This is a classic blended Scotch whisky from top to bottom. I tend to like it over a big rock on a slow afternoon. It also works wonders in a simple whisky-forward cocktail.

9. Auchentoshan Single Malt Scotch Whisky Three Wood

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $100

The Whisky:

Auchentoshan is a great example of a Lowland malt that harkens back to the old days of varied oak aging. In this case, the triple-distilled whisky is aged in ex-bourbon oak for around 12 years and then is finished in Olorosso and Pedro Ximenez sherry casks.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a fruitiness on the nose that speaks to blue and blackberries with slight tartness next to orange oils and a hint of prune.

Palate: The taste has a toffee-covered-in-almond vibe, next to more of that dark fruit with an almost maple syrup spiked with woody cinnamon sticks vibe (hello, bourbon barrel).

Finish: The end is surprisingly light, a little woody, and full of plenty of those berries as it slowly fades out.

Bottom Line:

This is a fruity and sweet malt that’s just easygoing. It’s well-rounded and leaves you satisfied. That said, I’d lean more toward sipping this in a subtle cocktail.

8. Dewar’s Blended Scotch Whisky Double Double 27

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $120 (half bottle)

The Whisky:

Master blender Stephanie Macleod created another masterpiece through this “Double Double” four-step aging process. Step one is aging single malt and single grain whiskies for 27 long years. The malts are then blended, the grains are blended, and they both rest again. Next, all of that is blended together in a vat and rested. Finally, the whisky is finished in ex-Palo Cortado sherry casks.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: You can really tell this has an Aberfeldy backbone with a floral honeyed nose that imbues summer breezes full of fragrant flowers.

Palate: That floral honey leads to an almost lemon-honey vibe with hints of cinnamon and cedar next to light pear tobacco and dry grass.

Finish: The end turns into pure silk as the florals, honey, pear, and spice slowly massage your tongue as it fades away.

Bottom Line:

This is an excellent blended whisky that feels original while delivering seriously deep flavor notes. This is fun to nose and sip neat as a taster, there’s a lot to find in this pour. It also works really well as a slow sipper over one large ice cube.

7. Glenmorangie A Tale Of The Forest Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $102

The Whisky:

This new expression from Glenmorangie’s mad scientist Master Distiller Dr. Bill Lumsden is a total departure. Dr. Bill kilned the barley (the drying process during malting) with a very old-school method using local botanicals from the Highlands. The kiln was accented with a bushel of juniper berries, birch bark, and heather flowers which layered their flavor notes into the malted barley that was used to ferment the juice that eventually was distilled, aged, and bottled in the Highlands.

Tasting Note:

Nose: This lives up to its name from the jump with a nose full of dank pine resin, fresh juniper, and dry coriander with a hint of malted rye cakes and the faintest whisper of wet campfire smoke.

Palate: The palate leans into bitter burnt orange rinds with a sense of clove buds and chinotto leaves next to oolong tea leaves cut with eucalyptus and a kiss of old oak.

Finish: That old oak and tea vibe drives the finish toward a hint of spiced malt cakes and a drop of fresh honey cut with wild sage and Scotch broom flowers with a fleeting sense of that dank pine from the nose reappearing briefly.

Bottom Line:

This is funky AF. I can’t think of another whisky that tastes even remotely like this. Yet it’s somehow familiar too. It elicits this sense of home and camping out in the summer and slow summer days. If you’re looking for something 100% new, this is the play.

6. Aberfeldy Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky 16 Years Old

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $109

The Whisky:

Aberfeldy is at the heart of Dewar’s blend. The whisky here is a classic Highland whisky aged in American oak and finished in sherry casks. That whisky is then cut down to proof with water from Pitilie Burn, a bubbling stream with gold deposits next to the distillery.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Aberfeldy is renowned for its honeyed nature and this shines through on the nose with hints of clove-studded oranges and a touch of that sherried wood.

Palate: The palate holds onto the wet sherry wood while going full holiday cake with spices, nuts, dried and candied fruits, and a sweet maltiness.

Finish: The end reveals a mild note of bitter dark chocolate next to the honey and spices as it fades fairly quickly.

Bottom Line:

This is just quintessential Highland malt (basically the exact opposite of the previous entry). This is what you buy and pour if you’re looking for the perfect pour of something easy, sweet, and malty with real depth.

5. Highland Park 15 Years Old Viking Heart Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 44%

Average Price: $110

The Whisky:

Highland Park’s Master Whisky Maker Gordon Motion hand-picked sherry-seasoned American oak barrels of single malt to create this new expression. The whisky is then decanted/bottled in a throwback ceramic bottle from Wade Ceramics, which has been making bottles like this since the early 1800s.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Even though this is a peated whisky, the nose is all about bright notes of orange and lemon oils with a deep vanilla sauce vibe, a touch of dried heather, and old sticks of cider-soaked cinnamon.

Palate: The palate lets the smoke sneak in via grilled pineapple that turns towards smoked plums, soft and moist Christmas cake with plenty of dried fruits, and a sense of cinnamon-flecked tobacco leaves that have just been singed around the edges.

Finish: The peat sneaks in late via an almost sea salt element that lets the orange oils, vanilla, and cinnamon tobacco all mellow towards a silky finish.

The Bottom Line:

This feels like a peated whiskey that’s made for bourbon drinkers. The peat and fruit are there but the heavy dried fruit, dark spices, and vanilla creaminess really tie this to American whisky palates. This is the whisky you buy when you’re looking to get into subtly peated whisky with a dark underbelly.

4. Ardbeg Corryvreckan Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $109

The Whisky:

This whisky is named after the world’s second-largest ocean whirlpool, called Corryvreckan. The whisky in the bottle is Ardbeg Ten blended with single malt that’s been aged exclusively in new French Limousin casks.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a softness on the nose that leans into dark yet slightly tart berries under layers of sharp spice, wet brown sugar, and plenty of sea salt.

Palate: The palate ups the saltiness as yellow Scotch Broom flowers mingle with creamy dark chocolate, dashes of freshly cracked black pepper, and a light hint of citrus oil.

Finish: The finish is soft and creamy thanks to that dark chocolate with mild spice cut by more sea salt and a hint of ground mushroom powder with a mossy edge.

Bottom Line:

This is a slightly more advanced expression of Ardbeg. The peaty ashiness is dialed back and replaced with earthy and umami notes with a wonderfully soft creamy texture. Overall, you don’t have to be a fan of Ardbeg to like this. It’s its own thing and a very enticing peated whisky that leans away from the ashiness of its siblings.

3. The GlenDronach Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Cask Strength Batch 11

ABV: 59.8%

Average Price: $114

The Whiskey:

The GlenDronach Cask Strength is a fantastic special release year after year. Batch 11 is another winner. The Highland whisky is matured over the years in both Pedro Ximénez and Oloroso sherry casks. When those barrels hit just the right marks, they’re batched and the whisky is bottled completely as-is.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with mulled red wine cut with tart and spicy cranberry compote, burnt orange, salted black licorice, malted honey cakes, and soft marzipan that’s all accented by a soft waft of clove tobacco.

Palate: The palate leans into the berry-fueled mulled wine as dark chocolate-covered espresso beans mingle with brandy-soaked raisins, salted toffee candies, and pancakes cut with cinnamon apple butter and plenty of maple syrup.

Finish: The end jukes with a brash bitter orange peel that leads to plum jamminess, creamy vanilla sauce, and a hint of cinnamon bark dipped in apple cider with honey cake on the side.

Bottom Line:

This is a deep and dark whisky that’s perfect for the bourbon drinker looking to get into heavy-duty Scotch whisky. In fact, if you love high-proof bourbon with deep rye flavor profiles, then this will 100% be your jam.

2. Springbank Aged 10 Years Campbeltown Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $104

The Whisky:

This is the gateway to Springbank, one of the world’s most elite distilleries. The single malt is aged in both ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks with a 60/40 split respectively in the final blend. That blend of barrels is just kissed with iconic Campbeltown spring water and then bottled as-is.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This is smooth as can be with a nose full of bourbon vanilla, dark plums, soft toffee, and a hint of wet forest floor countering a spicy and honeyed maltiness with a hint of sagebrush.

Palate: The taste feels like an orchard in the summer full of fruit — tart, ripe, sweet, overripe — next to big notes of ground black pepper, apple-cider-soaked cinnamon sticks, freshly ground nutmeg, and plenty of cloves.

Finish: The finish is subtle and sweet with a good dose of salted caramel next to a whiff of dried peat with a hint of wet straw.

Bottom Line:

This is one of those “ah-ha!” whiskies that live up to the hype. It’ll also send you down a rabbit hole of whiskies that get very expensive very quickly. I wish you luck on your journey.

1. Talisker Single Malt Scotch Whisky The Distillers Edition

ABV: 45.8%

Average Price: $119

The Whisky:

The 2022 Distillers Edition is a classic Talisker that’s aged by the sea and finished for six months in Amoroso sherry casks. The whisky was distilled in 2012 and bottled at 10 years old. It was then finished in another Amoroso sherry cask, making it “double cask” matured.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose runs deep on this whisky with mild hints of beachside campfire smoke whispering in the background as hints of red fruit, wet driftwood, and green peppercorns draw you in.

Palate: The palate embraces the red berries with a slight tartness next to the sweetness as the peat remains dry and distant and tied to the brine of the sea with an almost oyster liquor softness.

Finish: The finish lingers for just the right amount of time as sweet berries and dry peat lead towards soft dark cacao powder with a tiny note of vanilla and one last spray from the sea.

Bottom Line:

This is as close to a perfect whisky as you can get at this price point. It’s sophisticated, dynamic, and delectable. It’s cliched but I have to say it. If you buy one bottle on this list, this should be it.

It’s common for shows to be taken off Netflix as their contracts expire (or because nobody is watching, you never really know) but it’s less common that Netflix yanks one of their own original shows. It happened last year when Netflix’s Marvel shows migrated over to Disney+, but it’s been happening more and more, and the latest show to get the boot is Arrested Development.

The familial comedy, starring Jason Bateman and Co, will exit the streamer on March 14th. The original run of Arrested Development was on Fox from 2003 to 2006, before laying dormant for over a decade until Netflix decided to dust off the stair car for another (lackluster and sometimes confusing) spin in 2013 and then again in 2019.

The revival seasons didn’t quite live up to the integrity of the original, but there were some solid jokes in there every once in a while. The final season was overshadowed by some upsetting press stops in which tensions were very high among the principal cast, and the magic ended there.

But even though Netflix owns two of the five seasons, the streamer will be taking all of them down on March 15 of this year. Don’t worry, you can still purchase all of the episodes on YouTube if that is more your style, but it just won’t be the same. Of course, we can always thank the show for revitalizing Charlize Theron’s career and that’s one thing that Netflix can never take away!

American cheese is something of a contentious issue here in the Uproxx Life Slack chat. Our editor, Steve Bramucci, likes to defend it on the grounds of texture and meltiness, and says he even puts it on ramen. But apparently, I’m an insufferable faux-europhile because I’ve generally thought of it mostly as over-processed, non-cheese trash.

[Thank God we all agree that sharp cheddar is great. — ed.]

It tastes bland or bad and what’s the upside? That it “melts well?” When I make grilled cheese or cheeseburgers with cheddar slices it seems to melt just fine. Of course, I don’t normally buy the stuff, so maybe this opinion is outdated or based on ignorance. For my latest blind taste test/ranking, I bought every “American cheese” available near me to see if any of them could convert me.

Without getting too into the weeds of what “American Cheese” actually is and the various legal labels assorted with it, the basics are that it came out of a process invented in Switzerland, by which various cheese scraps could be combined into a sort of processed cheese product rather than wasted — kind of like we do with meat in sausages and hot dogs.

Canadian-born American emigree James Kraft patented a similar process in the US (apparently combining cheese and pasteurized milk in a copper kettle, then poured into sterile containers) in 1916, with the goal of creating a cheese with a longer shelf life. Some types come poured into individual packets, Kraft single-style, while other types come off a big block at the deli. These days, the milky, melty cheese product is still the second-most bought sliced cheese in America, as of 2019 (mozzerella was number one).

PART I — Methodology

For the purposes of this test… well, I just ate the cheese. And for once I didn’t have to cut it first! (*rimshot*). But seriously folks, I know there are a lot of disparate uses for American cheese — nachos, cheeseburgers, ramen, even apple pie (Robert De Niro orders it in Taxi Driver), but there are so many that choosing just one as a judging criteria seemed too specific and trying to test them all seemed impossible.

In the end, I figured the fairest test was the most obvious: just eat the cheese. I had my wife (*Borat voice*) lay the slices out for me, numbered but unlabeled. I took notes on each slice and ranked the results. That’s it!

The Lineup:

• Kraft Singles American 2% Milk
• Kraft Singles
• Sunnyside Farms 2% Milk American Cheese Singles
• Kraft Deli Deluxe American Slices
• Velveeta Slices Original
• Horizon Organic American Singles
• Kretschmar American Cheese
• Kretschmar White American Cheese
• Boar’s Head White American Cheese
• Boar’s Head American Cheese
• Primo Taglio White American Cheese
• Primo Taglio American Cheese

PART II — The Ranking

12. Kretschmar American Cheese (Sample 7)

The Cheese:

Kretschmar is a brand of Smithfield Foods that you can find everywhere from Walmart, Target, Food 4 Less, and your local supermarket chain, like Ralph’s or SaveMart in Central California, where I found mine. This particular cheese came from the deli case (as opposed to individually pre-packaged, like some of the others).

The website describes it as “Made from a blend of Wisconsin cheddar or colby cheese and pasteurized to stop the ripening process.”

Original Notes:

This one is more orange with a more of a matte than glossy finish. It’s thick too and looks by far the most like cheddar of any of the cheeses. When I pick it up, barely any flop. Are we sure this is American?

The nose is… barely there. Maybe vaguely grassy? There’s something ever so vaguely herbaceous in there.

Biting in… woof. There’s something chalky, but also chemical/metallic tasting in this. I hate it. I keep going back to try to figure out what’s so bad about it and I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s definitely gross. I’m having that “Hey, come try this, it SUCKS!” reaction here. I grabbed some tortilla chips to eat afterward as a palate cleanser.

Bottom Line:

I can’t really explain why this tasted so strange. It looked like tasty, inviting cheese, possibly the most of any in the group. But the melt, the texture, and most of all the flavor just seemed off. Maybe it picked up weird flavors from some of the other things inside the deli case, I don’t know.

Rating: 2/10

11. Kretschmar White American Cheese (Sample 8)

The Cheese:

Presumably the same as above, only without the yellow coloring. According to the site, “a mild, creamy, salty flavor with a medium-firm consistency.” (Don’t even think of making a sex joke here, I will call the police).

Original Notes:

This one is white. I think we can all agree on that. Let the record show… The finish is more matte than glossy, and it’s thick like a deli slice. I think there were two deli slices in here that are distinctly thicker than the rest. Lots of heft when I pick it up too, one of the least floppy. (What did I say about sex jokes!)

Not much happening on the nose, other than a sense of salty processed-ness.

Biting in… this is definitely a smidge better than the other deli-looking slice. It’s less chalky and metallic, but it’s still pretty bad.

Bottom Line:

This was basically the same cheese from the same deli case as above and not surprisingly it ended up in basically the same place.

Rating: 2.5/10

10. Kraft Deli Deluxe (Sample 4)

The Cheese:

“Kraft Deli Deluxe American Cheese Slices are creamy, rich, and full of flavor. Enjoy our sliced American cheese with a mild, slightly tangy flavor and smooth texture that goes well with any meat or vegetable dish.”

Presumably a slightly “fancier” version of Kraft singles from the OG of American cheese (invented by a Canadian). One notable difference between this and Kraft singles is that this has 0 grams of sugar, while the singles have two grams. One of its “special features” is “double the calcium.” So it’s got that going for it.

Original Notes:

This one is less glossy on the exterior and doesn’t have obvious markings from the plastic, which makes me think it looks more like “real” cheese. It’s sort of a flat yellow in color. When I pick it up it doesn’t “flop” as much as the others. Do we want our American cheese to “flop?” Discuss.

On the nose, it smells a lot like cheddar seasoning, almost like a nacho cheese Dorito. If you put the nacho cheese Dorito bag and this cheese under my nose blindfolded I don’t know if I’d be able to tell the difference. Probably I’d smell the corn. Anyway, moving on…

The flavor is… weird. Oh, I don’t like this at all. It’s like a muddle between that bland processed cheesiness, competing with the nacho seasoning flavor, with a hint of chemical in there and a kind of “off” aftertaste. This one made me crinkle my nose.

Bottom Line:

I guess sometimes fancier isn’t better. I much preferred original Kraft singles to this supposedly fancy version that tasted like weird chalk and shit.

Rating: 3/10

9. Velveeta Slices Original (Sample 5)

The Cheese

The OGs of processed melting cheese concocted this American cheese slice, er, “pasteurized recipe cheese product” from whey, milk, milk protein concentrate, modified food starch, canola oil, sodium citrate, and some other fun stuff including paprika extract and annatto for color. How about that?

“Seed oil” haters need not apply.

Original Notes:

This one is lighter yellow with medium gloss and a little leoparding on the exterior, presumably from the individual plastic wrapping. It’s toward the thiccer end of the spectrum. VERY floppy when I pick it up, despite the thickness. Is this a good thing? I dunno.

On the nose, it has that milky aroma plus… God what IS that? I’m having a hard time placing it. Salty, lemony? I don’t know.

On the palate, it’s very melty, with nothing particularly offputting, but not much going on either. Very neutral, bland, and sort of barely there. A vaguely sweet aftertaste.

Bottom Line:

In retrospect, I think the flavor I may have had trouble placing was the paprika extract? I’m not really sure. Anyway, this one was basically what I imagined American cheese slices to taste like — melty, milky, and sort of bland. It’s fine.

Rating: 4.5/10

8. Kraft Singles (Sample 2)

The Cheese:

What’s the first cheese you think of when you think of “American cheese?” Probably Kraft singles, the only product here with its own Wikipedia page. According to the website, “our sliced cheese has a mild, savory flavor and smooth, creamy texture that’s perfectly melty,” made from cheddar cheese, skim milk, milkfat, milk protein concentrate, whey, calcium phosphate and a bunch of other stuff including our old pals paprika extract and annatto.

Annatto… annatto… annatto gonna ask why this cheese is this color, anyway.

Original Notes

This one looks thicker than some of the others and has more of a gold color, with just a hint of the plastic imprint on the outside. It has a decent body to it, so it doesn’t just flop over (probably because it’s thicker — score one for physics! ).

On the nose, it smells more salty, like a cheddar seasoning packet, but with just the faintest hint of something chemical.

In my mouth, the thickness gives it a melty “body” to it, but it’s weirdly kind of flavorless. This isn’t offputting, just bland.

Bottom Line:

I don’t have any special love or sense memory for Kraft singles that would elevate them above anything else, it seems. They are a fine baseline for this kind of cheese, for whatever that’s worth (probably not much).

Rating: 5/10

7. Sunnyside Farms 2% Milk American Cheese Singles (Sample 3)

The Cheese

Sunnyside Farms is a brand you can find at SaveMart, Sprouts, Lucky, and a handful of other chains. These badboys are made with “cultured milk, water, cream, whey, sodium citrate, milk protein concentrate, modified food starch, whey protein concentrate, calcium phosphate, salt, sorbic acid (preservative), sodium phosphate, citric acid, apo carotenal and beta carotene (color), lactic acid, enzymes, vitamin d3.” I’m always trying to add more modified food starch to my diet, so that’s cool. Food starch taste good in hyu-mon food.

Original Notes:

This one is like a medium pale yellow, with some texture on the surface from the plastic and fluting on the edges (that’s right, bitch, I said “fluting,” put that in your flute and toot it). It’s one of the “glossiest” options, for whatever that’s worth. Love a cheese I can see my reflection in.

On the nose, it has that milky, melty, processed cheese smell — nothing chemical or off-putting about it though.

This one has more of a chew to it, it doesn’t melt in the mouth as much. Which isn’t good or bad, in my mind, it’s just a fact. Nothing too chemical or weird about the taste, just kind of bland. Doesn’t taste like much.

Bottom Line:

Again, very bland and unobtrusive, if that’s your thing.

Rating: 5.5/10

6. Primo Taglio American Cheese (Sample 12)

The Cheese

Primo Taglio is a popular deli case brand sold at Von’s, Safeway, Albertsons, and their related chains. According the website, it’s made with “American Cheese, Milk, Cheese Cultures, Salt, Enzymes, Sodium Citrate, Sodium, Phosphate, Sorbic Acid.” Love when my American Cheese is made with American Cheese. It’s actually kind of weird how little information is available for this one.

Original Notes:

Like a flat, lemon yellow in color, definitely more like a deli slice than a single packaged one.

On the nose, there’s something slightly vegetal in there along with the salt and milk.

On the palate, that vegetal flavor is still there, kind of masking the other flavors. It reminds me of a faint, raw bell pepper. The salt and melt is otherwise nice — it doesn’t completely dissolve in that more processed kind of way. It’s not *bad* per se, it’s just a little strange and not quite what I expect.

Bottom Line:

This brand was — spoiler alert — my favorite cheese, in its other incarnation. This yellow version had a funky flavor in it, presumably from what they use to color it. Hard to say with an ingredients list this vague.

Rating: 6/10.

5. Horizon Organic American Singles (Sample 7)

The Cheese:

This organic American cheese from an organic dairy brand has most of the usual stuff plus organic annatto for color. Annatto gonna list all the other ingredients here, va fongool.

Original Notes:

This one has a lot of package marks but is less glossy than some. Sort of flat yellow towards pastel. Not too floppy when I pick it up, sort of medium.

It’s sort of salty and seasoned-tasting on the nose.

This one has more bite than melt to it, chewier than some of the ones that just melt into milk on your tongue. The flavor kind of has a little salty bite to it too, which is nice. Pretty neutral and kind of barely there though for the most part, but not offputting at all.

Bottom Line:

I was a bit surprised at such a high finish for an organic brand on such a processed product. I would call this “above average” though not necessarily an enthusiastic “good.” Solid B+ of American cheese.

Rating: 7/10

4. Kraft Singles American 2% Milk (Sample 1)

The Cheese

This 2% milk American cheese boasts “1/3 less fat than regular American cheese” along with a fairly standard-looking ingredients list including annatto and paprika extract for color.

Original Notes

Sort of a pale lemon yellow in color, with some “leoparding” on the skin, presumably from the single serving plastic.

It smells… well, like processed cheese, I don’t really know how else to describe it. It has a milkiness to it, I guess. The texture is very floppy when you pick it up.

Biting in, and it sort of melts in my mouth. You can tell just from the mouthfeel (MOUTHFEEL!) that this would have a decent melt to it. It’s melty in a not entirely offputting kind of way, and a little sweet. It only sticks to my teeth a little. The flavor is sort of bland, but mostly pleasant and creamy. Actually, I think I like this one because it reminds me of drugstore nachos, which I ate an embarrassing amount of as a teen.

Bottom Line:

I would never have guessed that a reduced fat option was going to beat the genuine article, but that’s why we do blind taste tests, right? This was actually the best of the individually-packaged options (as opposed to the ones that get sliced from the block at the deli, which by and large were the better options).

Rating: 7.5/10

3. Boar’s Head American

The Cheese:

Boar’s Head is a deli brand sold all over, notably at Von’s/Albertsons, HEB, Kroger… Full ingredients list for this one in particular: “American Cheese (Milk, Salt, Cheese Culture, Enzymes), Cream, Sodium Phosphates, Paprika, Annatto, Salt.”

Again, love when my American cheese is made with American cheese. It really brings out the American cheesiness, I find.

Original Notes

This one is medium yellow, more matte than gloss, with uneven deli-style edges and tiny air bubbles that must’ve formed when they poured the liquid milk/cheese mixture and let it cool. It flops a little when I pick it up, though not nearly as much as the kinds that clearly came from individual plastic wraps.

On the nose, this one smells milky and a little salty, with juuuuust a hint of some kind of earthy herb in there, presumably whatever they used for color.

On the palate, this is pretty straightforwardly cheesy. It melts in my mouth while retaining a little chew, and it’s nicely salty.

Bottom Line:

The top three here are all cheese products that actually taste like cheese. I don’t know that I’m *entirely* sold on the concept of American cheese, but I would definitely eat any of these without complaining.

Rating: 7.75/10

2. Boar’s Head White American Cheese (Sample 9)

The Cheese:

“Crafted from a hand-selected blend of rich, savory Cheddars, this all-American cheese has a smooth, creamy texture and a pleasantly mild taste. Boar‘s Head American Cheese is an amazingly meltable, flavorful classic.” Same ingredients list as the yellow, minus paprika and annatto.

Original Notes:

This is white, and clearly came off of a deli block — the cut is a little uneven and it breaks instead of folding.

On the nose, it smells straightforwardly milky, with nothing chemical or metallic in there that I could detect.

There’s a chew to it, though it mostly melts in your mouth. It definitely seems like one of the saltier ones, but the flavor and seasoning are really on point. It actually tastes… kinda like cheese. I could see actually eating a piece of this cheese for the taste, which is not something I expected with American cheese.

Bottom Line:

I’d have to taste this head-to-head with cheddar, havarti, baby swiss, etc. to determine whether it was actually better than a non-American alternative, but relative to other American cheeses this was easily near the top. Likewise, I’m sure I’m biased towards the white American cheeses, ever since I found out the color was just an additive and not something naturally occurring in the cheese. Which isn’t to say that the color is “bad” for you, it’s like adding a little turmeric powder to your flour when you make pasta to turn it more yellow. It’s a visual element and not much else. But at the same time… why? I’m definitely not married to the idea of my cheese being yellow or orange.

Which is to say: I’d have to taste these blindfolded to determine whether I can actually taste the difference between yellow and white American (the difference being probably a minuscule amount of paprika and/or annatto) or if it’s all just mental.

Rating: 8/10

1. Primo Taglio White American (Sample 11)

The Cheese:

Despite the fancy eye-talian-sounding name (which means “first cut,” in case you were wondering), Primo Taglio is actually the cheaper option at the Albertson’s family of supermarkets, behind Boar’s Head (and has basically zero web presence, hence the lack of a picture). There isn’t much difference in the ingredients list between the two either, so far as I can tell: “American Cheese, Milk, Cheese Cultures, Salt, Enzymes, Sodium Citrate, Sodium, Phosphate, Sorbic Acid.”

Original Notes:

This one is — spoiler alert — white, and looks more like provolone than white American, just based on the thickness and deli-sliced appearance. Matte finish. It flops when I pick it up.

On the nose, I get more salt than milk, sort of like parmesan meets whey.

On the palate, it’s mostly salty/milky/cheesy, but there is just a hit of something ever so slightly funky, like a provolone. It doesn’t melt on the tongue as much as some others, but the taste is really good. This tastes by far the most like “real cheese” of anything so far.

Bottom Line

Why I chose the cheaper deli option at Von’s over the more expensive one is as much a mystery as why I ended up liking the 2% Kraft more than the original. Maybe the seasoning-to-fat ratio was higher? In any case, this does feel like a great cheese for a cheeseburger or a grilled cheese for a baby. I’d probably still want cheddar in mine, but definitely no complaints about this one.

Rating: 8.5/10

The Mean Girls movie musical is gearing up to be the best movie musical since Mamma Mia 2! which was the best movie musical since Mamma Mia!, which was the first movie musical to ever exist. Even though the one common thread, Amanda Seyfried, might not be directly involved (yet!) the expectations for the cliquey movie are pretty high as the movie secures its cast.

The latest star joining the project is The Office’s Jenna Fischer, who will take on the role of Cady’s mother, which was originally played by Ana Gasteyer. As previously reported, Tina Fey will return as math teacher Ms. Norbury, while Tim Meadows will reprise his role as Mr. Duvall. Hopefully, his arm has healed since then. Fey is also confirmed to be writing the script for the movie, which will head to Paramount+.

Fischer has been co-hosting the popular podcast Office Ladies as of late, and this will be her first acting gig since her sitcom Splitting Up Together was canceled in 2019.

Even though movie musicals can be a big risk, the Mean Girls musical has developed a cult following thanks to its ever-growing TikTok fanbase. The rest of the cast includes Angourie Rice as Cady, Auli’i Cravalho as Janis, Jaquel Spivey, and Reneé Rapp, who previously starred as the queen bee Regina George in the Broadway adaptation.

While this is a movie based on the musical based on the movie based on the book, it seems like some crossover between the stage and screen adaptation is inevitable. Even though the original core cast has yet to confirm anything, Seyfried is already in musical mode, so maybe she can pop over for a quick dance number.

(Via Deadline)

One of the easiest bets to win during the 2022 Oscars was who would win Best Original Song. There was “No Time to Die” by Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell, and there was everyone else (the wrong song from Encanto was selected). This year’s batch of nominees is trickier. Rihanna (“Lift Me Up” from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever) and Lady Gaga (“Hold My Hand” from Top Gun: Maverick) are the biggest names, but don’t overlook David Byrne and Mitski’s song from Everything Everywhere All at Once, “This Is a Life.”

The real wild card — and the song that should win, please — is “Naatu Naatu” from RRR. If you haven’t watched the record-breaking action movie, please do so immediately. It’s on Netflix and also being re-released in theaters (for a third time!) this weekend. “Naatu Naatu” is from the film’s most memorable scene — and one of the most memorable and joyous scenes for any movie released in 2022.

It will also be a highlight of the 2023 Oscars.

Oscar-nominated song “Naatu Naatu,” the Indian Telugu-language song from RRR, will be performed at the 2023 Oscars. “Naatu Naatu” is nominated for best original song, and Rahul Sipligunj and Kaala Bhairava will perform the song. The song’s music is written by M.M. Keeravaani, while its lyrics are written by Chandrabose.

There’s no mention of whether RRR stars N.T. Rama Rao Jr. and Ram Charan will be involved, but there better at least be dancing.

The 95th Academy Awards air on March 12.

(Via the Hollywood Reporter)

The era of Chlöe is officially upon us. Next month, she will release her much-anticipated debut solo album, In Pieces. Weeks after, she will embark on the In Pieces tour.

The In Pieces tour will see Chlöe take the stage in 11 North American cities, including Chicago, New York City, Dallas, and Los Angeles.

Fans can purchase tickets now (here) using the pre-sale code PRAY. General on-sale for the tour begins this Friday.

In addition to music, Chlöe has been throwing herself into more acting roles. Next month, she will star on Prime Video’s new thriller series, Swarm, which explores the dark side of fandom. Last year, she spoke with us about her upcoming role in a comedy film called Praise This.

“It’s been super exciting being able to throw myself into another role or character,” said Bailey. “Any unhealed pieces of me I get to heal through them. It’s like another way of storytelling, like how I do with music.”

You can see the list of the In Pieces tour dates below.

04/11 — Chicago, IL @ Riviera Theatre
04/13 — Detroit, MI @ The Fillmore
04/14 — Toronto, ON @ Rebel
04/17 — Boston, MA @ House of Blues
04/18 — Philadelphia, PA @ The Fillmore
04/20 — New York, NY @ Terminal 5
04/23 — Atlanta, GA @ The Eastern
04/25 — Houston, TX @ House of Blues
04/26 — Dallas, TX @ House of Blues
04/30 — Sacramento, CA @ Sol Blume
05/03 — Los Angeles, CA @ The Novo

In Pieces is out 3/31 via Parkwood/Columbia. Pre-save it here.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is just over two years into her job as a member of the House of Representatives, but has managed to stir up more controversy and grab more headlines than lawmakers with 10 times her longevity. From the “gazpacho police” to complaining that she’s forced to work too many hours for too little pay, Greene has done a lot of complaining during her 25 months as a Georgia congresswoman. But her recent call for a “national divorce” (on Presidents Day of all days) has left even some of her most prolific critics feeling gobsmacked. Case in point: Seth Meyers.

On Monday night, Meyers resumed his position behind the Late Night desk, and wanted to talk about Fox News’ ill-advised decision to let Marge go on the air and talk with Sean Hannity about the details for exactly how this whole “unhinged” divorce thing will work, which she seems to believe is the only way for our country to actually operate given the extreme divide between Republicans and everyone else. But even Hannity seemed doubtful that such a thing was possible, and asked Greene about its feasibility when he inquired, “Do you expect it will happen?” Which is when Greene’s argument started to fall apart.

“Well, I think it’s something we should work towards, because it’s kind of the vision that our Founding Fathers had for America,” Greene stated. Which, given that she was talking about the founding fathers of the UNITED States of America, didn’t seem to make much sense. And left Meyers momentarily perplexed:

A National Divorce? ‘A National Divorce was the VISION of the Founding Fathers. I know, because I time-traveled in a semi-conscious state and talked to them.’

How about this? This will be the compromise: Instead of Red States getting a divorce from Blue States, America gets a divorce from Greene? She’s definitely dressed for it. Remember when she showed up to the State of the Union screaming at Joe Biden in a white fur collar, like she was demanding sole custody of the Maltese?

You can watch the full clip above, beginning around the 11:05 mark.

Doja Cat might have pissed conservatives off with her sexy devil photoshoot, but no one does dark religious imagery like Yves Tumor. The eclectic indie rocker’s work has always centered on biblical references. Heaven, hell, demons, and angels can be found a home in their art (i.e., the videos for singles “God Is A Circle” and “Kerosene!“). Tumor’s latest video for the song “Heaven Surrounds Us Like a Hood” continues in that tradition.

The single featured on their forthcoming album, Praise A Lord Who Chews But Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds), spins that narrative that no matter how pure your intentions are, eventually, life will chew you up and spit you out.

Tumor opens the track with a harrowing story as they sing, “I met a boy with no head / I looked into his eyes / You know he was so pure at heart / For a moment we became each other / We found a love that made us slowly fall apart / I see the color red in so many places / This world feels so ugly / When life makes a fool of us.”

Throughout the video, director Cody Critcheloe masterfully incorporated Bible references to heighten the sorrow outlined in the song. The story is not lost on the viewing audience from Tumor’s rapid mood swings, bloodshot eyes, and crowned hair. However, the video’s ending scene stings the most. As the young actor playing Tumor says, “I like the color blue because it’s in the sky, and that’s where God is,” the theme of pure innocent is fully explored.

The actor’s declaration of their love apple while enjoying a ripe red apple as the scene transitions to Tumor seated on a rotating prop apple core sporting a blue wing. The contrast between the joy seen in the child actor’s eye with Tumor’s cold-hearted expression is jarring, which drives home the point that a stained outlook on the world is a product of life’s slowly but steadily taking bites out of us all.

Watch the full video above.

Hayden is officially returning with his first new album in eight years, following the announcement of April’s Are We Good — which features quite a few surprise guests.

The latest single, “On A Beach,” is a collaboration with Feist, who fits perfectly as a vocalist and also appears in the music video. Along the way, the duo meets some hypnotists, played by none other than Steve Buscemi and The National’s Matt Berninger.

Buscemi’s connection with Hayden goes back decades, as he also provided the music for the actor’s directorial debut, Trees Lounge, in 1996, according to Stereogum.

“‘On A Beach’ was my ‘day four’ submission,” Hayden shared to the publication about the song. “I continued tinkering with the song and recording in the following weeks, adding a bridge, tracking several synth lines to try to create what I thought hypnosis may sound like. A few weeks later, Leslie was in town and I invited her to sing on a newer verse I’d written to make the song more of a conversation. Who better than the best, and the one who basically made the song happen in the first place.”

Check out “On A Beach” above. Below, find the Are We Good cover art and tracklist.

1. “East Coast”
2. “We Danced”
3. “On A Beach” Feat. Feist
4. “Terry Cloth Blue (Every Single Thing)”
5. “Nothing Wrong”
6. “Are We Good”
7. “Window Washer Blues”
8. “Miss Fort Erie”
9. “It’s Just Me”
10. “Lay This In My Mind”
11. “Can’t Happen Now”

Are We Good is out 4/5 via Arts & Crafts. Pre-order it here.

When President Biden authorized a sweeping 400 billion dollar Student Loan Forgiveness Program, mayhem erupted around the nation. Not only did millions of eligible recipients quickly apply for relief but swaths of (mostly Republican) lawmakers raced to halt the action. Those efforts proved successful. Since October, the program has been blocked by The 8th Circuit Court of Appeals, pending its day in the Court.

That day has arrived. On February 28th, a Courtroom Drama kicks off in which two cases will be jointly presented to the (mostly Conservative) Supreme Court Justices: Biden V. Nebraska & Dep. Of Education V. Brown (Not to be confused with Brown V. Board of Education). The fate of Biden’s (and perhaps all) student loan forgiveness initiatives, now rests on the Court’s interpretation of this program. If the stakes didn’t seem high enough, understand that the student loan repayment pauses, which have been in effect since the pandemic, have been pushed to one final deadline — 6o days after the Court’s verdict. Millions now wait in suspense to find out if they should celebrate or sell their computers to pay the coming bills. (Here, you can listen to the case live.)

PART I — BIDEN’S PROGRAM

Let’s recap what this is about. Biden’s Student Loan Relief Program aims to cancel $10,000 of Student Loan payments for those making less than $125,000 and double that for joint-filing households. Pell Grant Recipients of lower income brackets would be eligible for an additional $10,000 of relief.

After years of talk, how is this now happening? Simply put, The Biden administration deemed the economic devastation brought by the pandemic as justification to tie the program with the Higher Education Relief Opportunities for Students Act (HEROES Act). The 2003 law states that the government can provide relief to recipients of student loans when there is a “national emergency.”

But despite the Program’s many projected benefits, including relieving 20 million borrowers’ debts entirely, the program is seen by challengers as not just too expensive but unconstitutional and financially devastating.

PART II — WHO IS MAD ABOUT THIS?

The Biden Administration will face two cases, where the challengers will attempt to prove “Standing.” Article III Standing is the idea that a party has proven to a judge that they have been injured by another party and a court ruling would fix that injury. In Biden v. Nebraska, six republican states will argue that Biden’s program will destroy tax revenue and damage the state’s interests. The secret weapon on this front is Missouri. More specifically, MOHELA, The Higher Education Loan Authority of The State Of Missouri — which has grown into one of the largest owners of Student Debt in the country.

In Dep. of Education v. Brown, two student loan buyers, Myra Brown and Alexandra Taylor, will argue that they have been harmed by the program because their privately held student loans are not eligible for forgiveness. They will try to prove the Secretary of Education failed to follow proper procedures enacting this program, which made them lose an opportunity to obtain debt forgiveness and thus have standing to remedy these injuries.

PART III — WHAT IS THE STATE’S ARGUMENT?

While all six states argue their revenue streams will be affected, Missouri makes the strongest case. Missouri’s Lawyers argue that MOHELA is an arm of the state and thus, impending financial losses from discontinuing federal loan servicing would burden the state. They claim in their briefing, “The States have standing to challenge the Program. First, the Program will inflict substantial financial losses on MOHELA, and those losses injure Missouri. MOHELA is a state-created and state-controlled public entity that performs essential public functions for the State.”

Additionally, because many private loans (which States like Nebraska and Arkansas invest in) have started to become consolidated — “refinanced” by public loans — the states would lose revenue. Why? For some, Biden’s program would pay off student loan debt entirely. No more debt means no more interest payments, which ultimately means loss of profit and what the State’s lawyers classify as “an actual financial injury.”

PART IV — THE COUNTER-ARGUMENT

On the other end of the argument, defendants of the Relief plan advocate that none of the states can argue there is a clear causal link between loss of tax revenue and student loan forgiveness, stating “[the states] lack standing because their supposed threatened economic injuries are speculative and unsubstantiated.” Basically, they’re saying there are a lot of false assumptions being made about impending damages from this program.

Defendants also argue that MOHELA and Missouri are not as connected as led to believe, stating, “an injury to MOHELA does not confer an injury on the State of Missouri because MOHELA is independent from Missouri. The two entities are separate.” In a letter between MOHELA and Missouri Rep. Cori Bush, MOHELA admits “MOHELA has not had, and does not have, a contractual relationship or agreement with the Missouri Attorney General’s Office on any topic including as to student debt relief.”

It turns out the two have been acting quite separately in the wake of this program. In that same letter, it’s revealed that it was the state of Missouri, not MOHELA executives that pushed for the lawsuit, and according to the defendant’s briefing “Publicly available evidence shows that MOHELA has been cooperating with the U.S. Department of Education on its debt discharge plan, a position inconsistent with that of the State of Missouri.”

Skeptics point out that MOHELA has transformed into something far larger than anticipated in its original mandate. There are some who claim its become a “financial behemoth” owning one of every ten dollars of outstanding student loan debt.

PART V — BROWN & TAYLOR

Backed by the financing of Job’s Network, a conservative advocacy group, Brown and Taylor’s lawsuit seeks to prove that improper procedures were taken by the Secretary of Education in enacting this program and then caused financial harm. In the case of Taylor, challengers mention, ” [Taylor’s] level of debt forgiveness could easily increase if the Secretary based eligibility on a more relevant metric, such as current income. In fact, Taylor makes less than $25,000 a year, but individuals making exponentially more than that ($250,000 for joint filers or $125,000 for individuals) will receive $20,000 in debt forgiveness if they received a Pell Grant.” Brown is apparently also being unfairly denied $17,000 of debt forgiveness, however, she came under scrutiny when it was found out her sign-making company received a $48,000 loan from the Paycheck Protection Program, of which $47,996 was forgiven.

Regardless, the two are arguing debt forgiveness is being handed out by an unfair, unclear system, brought forth unjustly — the one final point of attack the challengers are using.

PART V — A MAJOR QUESTION

Another topic that will be debated is whether or not the implementation of the HEROES Act is appropriate in justifying Biden’s program. The HEROES Act was birthed in the wake of 9/11 to protect individuals from being put in a “worse position” financially by providing relief to recipients of student loans in response to a national emergency.

Challengers argue that this is inappropriate because:

1. “Keeping borrowers from a “worse position” does not permit the mass discharge of loans, because that puts those borrowers in a better position.” In addition, “the Secretary’s unpublished, self-reported data show that most borrowers do not “expect to experience difficulty repaying loans.”
2. While Biden’s program outlines the negative economic conditions brought by the Pandemic as justification for a National Emergency, there are many other factors that have caused current economic hardships such as the war in Ukraine.
3. Biden’s debt forgiveness program was more of a pre-textual “campaign promise” than a connection to a National Emergency.
4. The program overstretched its authority because it circumvented congressional approval and disregarded the Major Question Doctrine.

The Major Question Doctrine is the idea that federal agencies (in this case, The Secretary of Education) cannot initiate sweeping new policies that have a significant economic impact without authorization from Congress. Because half a trillion dollars is indeed significant, challengers believe Biden and The Secretary of Education are far out of their expertise to go forward with this without the okay from Congress.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Despite the points laid out in reference to the Major Question Doctrine, The Biden Administration’s most important point of defense for the program will be in the case of “standing.” In an NBC article published on Feb. 27th, Ilya Somin, a law professor, mentioned “it seems as if the government has put most of its eggs in the standing basket.”

Regardless of the strong technical cases being made against standing, the concept of Student Loan Forgiveness has for years been a very ideologically divisive topic. For this reason, one can expect the Conservative Court to make an effort to disprove the constitutionality of Biden’s program and attempt to derail it. Who knows what will happen, but one thing’s for certain: The ramifications of this case will affect millions of Americans for years to come.