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The Ted Lasso Power Rankings are a weekly analysis of who and/or what had the strongest performance in each episode. Most of the list will feature individual characters, although the committee does reserve the right to honor anything from animals to inanimate objects to laws of nature to general concepts. There are very few rules here.

Season 2, Episode 7 — “Headspace”

HONORABLE MENTION: Rebecca (reply already, lady, geez); Higgins (I realized recently that I think of Higgins as like a British version of Jerry from Parks and Recreation, which has helped me understand him more); my sweet prince Dani Rojas (almost made the top ten just for the “wounded butterfly” line); the Jerky Boys (should I bring all of my shoes and glasses… so I have them?); Mae (I like that everyone in the city seems to know and respect her); Colin (he’s a strong and capable man, not a piece of shit); spaghetti and clams (I’m hungry)

10. Nate (Last week: 2)

I’m going to need someone — anyone, really — to book Nate an appointment with Dr. Sharon as soon as possible. I say this for three primary reasons:

• The issues he has with his father withholding praise and just generally being stoic and cold are now presenting themselves in increasingly ugly ways that usually involves berating or being cruel to people he perceived as beneath him in whatever sort of social hierarchy he has created in his mind, which is bad
• Dr. Sharon seems like someone who is good at her job
• If Nate yells at Will the Kit Man again I will turn into John Wick and end up on a neverending international vengeance tour that grows more perilous by the day as the consequences of my actions lead to continuously escalating adventures, sometimes involving Halle Berry

Knock it off, Nate. And stop name-searching yourself on Twitter. None of this is healthy.

9. Trent Crimm, The Independent (Last week: Unranked)

While a part of me does question the journalistic ethics of popping up next to someone in a bar while they’re having a drink and asking them for an official statement on a contentious matter, I do like that Trent appears to have sniffed this situation out. The man is relentless. He should be investigating war crimes or something. If there’s ever a Ted Lasso spinoff, we could do a lot worse than one about Trent Crimm.

Also, just to get this out there: I’m working on a theory about Trent and his glasses. There’s a Clark Kent / Superman quality to the way he whips them off or flings them on depending on the question he’s asking. I haven’t nailed it all down yet, but I am tinkering.

8. Jamie (Last week: 3)

It bums me out a little that Jamie has kind of been relegated lately to “member of the team who is there mainly to say seemingly unrelated things that cause a more significant character to have a personal revelation about events that have been brewing for most of the episode,” but it’s really hard for me to stay focused on any of that when the show has him say words like “Ratatouille” in that accent he has. Rat-a-too-eh. Incredible. I have a running list in my head of words I want him to say next. “Spaghetti” — spah-geh-eh — is pretty high up there.

7. Sam (Last week: 8)

Did anyone else think maybe Rebecca was finally going to respond to Sam’s message with an apology followed by this exact quote that he barely beat her to saying, thus revealing her identity by accident and leading to a string of awkward hijinks, or am I the only one spending hours of my day thinking about an as-yet-unrevealed relationship between two characters on a television show about a fictional soccer team?

Be honest.

6. Ted (Last week: 7)

Well, that went… well? I mean, eventually. It did not start well. Ted really ran through about eight different emotions there, possibly more. There was nervous energy and avoidance and anger and combativeness and, I think, at the end, acceptance. Again, we’ve discussed this: Ted is not doing great. He’s drinking alone kind of a lot, and he hasn’t noticed that one of his assistant coaches is turning into a tyrant right under his nose, and now he’s lashing out at the person he himself went to for help. It’s not great.

But yes, the good news here is that he appears to be making progress. It’s not a lot yet, not even anything more than agreeing to sit still and not insult an entire profession, but even that counts as something based on where he started. Baby steps. Neil Armstrong’s journey to the moon started with him walking out his own front door. Ted will get there. We all will. It’s just a matter of putting in the work.

5. Keeley (Last week: Unranked)

The Keeley-Roy relationship is a fun one and I’m happy for them that they’re starting to navigate around and through their various potential sticking points, but I do worry. I worry the show will run into the same problem the characters did: that having them together too often and in too many ways will result in each of their own cool little corners and ridges getting sanded down. Not a today problem, but definitely something out there on the horizon.

More importantly, good for Keeley for correctly identifying the issues at play in Ratatouille regarding snobbery and how creativity can come from any source, no matter how small and voiceless it might be. And good for her for figuring out a way to tell her friend to screw a rat that somehow came off positive and charming. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Try it this week. Actually, no. Do not try it. I don’t want any of you getting produce flung at your body/face for shouting “GO BONE A RAT” at someone. I can’t have that on my conscience.

4. Will the Kit Man (Last week: Unranked)

This section was going to be a whole big thing about how Will is a sweet boy and how he only deserves the best in life and how I would watch a full-on standalone episode that follows him around after work as he blasts an infectious positivity into tense situations like human Paddington Bear, but then something happened.

Then I watched the credits.

Then I saw this.

There’s a chance this has been mentioned before and I either missed or forgot it, but… is Will the Kit Man’s full name “Will Kitman”? Because that’s amazing. It’s nominative determinism at its finest, like a judge whose last name is Judge or a professional basketball player whose last name is Dunk. The first one of those is a real thing that has happened. The second one is something that has not happened yet but will make me so happy if/when it does that I might burst out a cloud of molecules on the spot.

Will Kitman.

WILL KITMAN.

Between this and the thing where Coach Beard has a beard, I’m starting to wonder if the end game this show is working toward is Ted leaving it all behind to join the rodeo.

3. Dr. Sharon (Last week: 10)

It was clear from the instant the show introduced Dr. Sharon that this exact situation was coming, like Rocky and Apollo in the first Rocky movie or Paddington and Phoenix Buchanan in the second Paddington movie. Two equal and opposing forces crashing into each other at full speed. Ted, with his aggressive friendliness deflecting any and all attempts to pierce his exterior. Dr. Sharon, with her quiet calm and steady patience ready and willing to wait him out. I like that we’re here now. I like that Dr. Sharon stood up to him when he was lashing out like a scared little boy. I like that I got to reference Paddington twice in this week’s Power Rankings. Things are all going according to plan.

I am serious about Nate needing to make an appointment, though. And if his reign of terror continues much longer, I might have to start questioning Dr. Sharon’s competence at her job just like I did with Ted’s earlier. She should be noticing this at some point. She might need to start popping up in hallways to torment him, too. I suspect we’re heading there.

2. Roy (Last week: 4)

Three notes here:

• I don’t know if I like anything anywhere more than the fact that Roy yells “WHISTLE” instead of blowing a whistle, and I hope it continues happening for as long as this show keeps making episodes
• If, after the credits aired, there had been a little box that popped up and said “For an additional $4.99, click here to watch a deleted scene where Keeley’s neighbors catch Roy cutting up all their roses and he is forced to attempt to explain why,” I regret to inform you I would have smashed that button very hard
• I hope Roy is reading The Da Vinci Code for a book club with the Yoga Mums and I hope we see their next meeting in the cold open of the next episode

He’s a good man.

1. Coach Beard (Last week: 1)

I suspect those of you who follow me on social media will be seeing this screencap a lot over the next… oh, let’s say decade. Look at him. Look at his hat. Think about how he just kind of disappeared into thin air right after this happened. Once the “is Roy Kent CGI?” conspiracy theory dies down, I vote one of you start a “Coach Beard does not actually exist and is just collective hallucination of the coaching staff” one. I’m serious about this.

For me. Please.

In some ways, music is all about breaking rules. This weekend, though, it was proven that some rules just have to be followed: Dave Grohl popped up as a surprise guest during Guns N’ Roses’ performance at California’s BottleRock Napa Valley festival, but they had their sound cut midway through the September 4 performance due to a curfew.

As part of their encore, Guns N’ Roses brought the Foo Fighters leader on stage to join them for “Paradise City,” but because of the festival’s strict 10 p.m. curfew (due to it being held in a residential area), the plug was pulled at that time (as Billboard reports). Even though the speakers were turned off (at about 3:05 into the video below), Grohl and the band continued playing the song, getting an assist from the crowd who sang along with them.

Meanwhile, Grohl was recently part of another significant on-stage meet-up, as viral drumming prodigy Nandi Bushell joined Foo Fighters on stage a couple weeks ago to perform “Everlong” with the band. Meanwhile, Grohl was also a collaborator on Halsey’s new album If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power, as he played drums on “Honey.”

Watch Grohl and Guns N’ Roses perform “Paradise City” above.

On Sunday night, Notre Dame beat Florida State 41-38 in an overtime thriller, in which the Irish blew an 18-point lead in the fourth quarter but were able to get a stop in overtime and kick a game-winning field goal on their first possession.

It was certainly not the best played game for the No. 9 team in the country, but escaping a true road game against a Power 5 opponent (even one that’s been down like FSU in recent years) with a win had to be the main goal, even if they have plenty to work on and clean up in practice coming up. Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly was relieved to get the win but, as is always the case with a coach, he couldn’t help but think about all the things that went wrong late in the game for the Irish despite the win.

In his walkoff interview, Kelly decided to pay homage to former Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach John McKay, who once got asked what he thought of his team’s execution after a game and joked that he was “all for it.” It’s a legendary football coach joke, but Kelly didn’t get asked a question that set him up for the punchline, so instead he forced it and somewhat fumbled his way through it, leading to a lot of confusion and people that were not thrilled with the quote.

After the game, Kelly was asked about his comment because there were a lot of people on social media that weren’t exactly pleased with his quote, and he tried to make it clear that it was just him trying to make the John McKay quote.

The issue here isn’t that he was trying to be funny, but that he tried to force the joke in to a spot where it didn’t really make sense. That’s not to say some would still react poorly to it had he been asked about Notre Dame’s execution and landed the punchline, but it would’ve been an easier explanation rather than him trying to set himself up for it.

Mark Hamill has had quite the last decade. Not only did he make a triumphant return to the role that made his name, but he’s proved himself excellent at Twitter. Whether it’s trolling Trump or trying to spoil a popular Star Wars meme, he’s arguably more popular than ever. He’s so beloved that one person wondered if all one had to do to go viral was to tweet two words: his first and last name. And Hamill himself proved the answer is yes.

It all started when an actor from North Ireland with disabilities whose interests include Doctor Who and, yes, Star Wars, tweeted at Hamill, positing that “you could just tweet ‘Mark Hamill’ and you’d get thousands of likes.” It didn’t take long for Hamill to quote-tweet her, taking her at her word.

It worked gangbusters. As of this writing, Hamill’s tweet has not just thousands of likes but hundreds of thousands. (The original, meanwhile, is currently closing in on 10,000 likes.)

Mind you, this a flawed test. Of course, a Hamill tweet in which he just writes his name will go viral. So others tested it out as well — and, spoiler, got thousands of likes.

Will you get thousands of likes by writing out the name of the one of the stars of Samuel Fuller’s war movie The Big Red One? Only one way to find out.

It’s been five years since the world received a new album from Beyonce, and while that streak will go on for a bit longer, she will return with music within the next couple of months. The singer will have a new track in the closing credits of King Richard, the upcoming biopic about tennis stars Venus and Serena Williams. According to the Los Angeles Times, who is reporting from Telluride Film Festival, where the movie debuted ahead of its November 19 release, the upcoming song is titled “Be Alive” and it’s co-written by Roc Nation signee DIXON.

The news comes after Beyonce shared an exciting update about her future. “I feel a renaissance emerging, and I want to be part of nurturing that escape in any way possible,” she said in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar. “I’ve been in the studio for a year and a half. Sometimes it takes a year for me to personally search through thousands of sounds to find just the right kick or snare. One chorus can have up to 200 stacked harmonies. Still, there’s nothing like the amount of love, passion, and healing that I feel in the recording studio.”

She concluded, “After 31 years, it feels just as exciting as it did when I was nine years old. Yes, the music is coming!”

The road to Kanye West’s tenth album Donda was a long and eventful one. After hosting three listening sessions, two that were in Atlanta and one in Chicago, West finally released the album, which offered nearly two hours of music across 27 songs, with guest appearances from Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Travis Scott, Ariana Grande, DaBaby, Marilyn Manson, Lil Baby, The Weeknd, Young Thug, Roddy Ricch, and many more. While opinions on Donda vary, it easily topped the charts.

West’s tenth album reached the top of the Billboard 200, selling 309,000 units in its first week. This number is comprised of 272,000 streaming equivalent album units thanks to 357.39 million on-demand streams of the songs. It also posted 37,000 pure album sales. It’s the rapper’s tenth consecutive album and eighth straight solo project to do so, a streak that dates back to the 2005 release of his sophomore album, Late Registration.

Kanye’s also joined The Beatles, Jay-Z, Bruce Springsteen, Barbra Streisand, Eminem, and Elvis Presley as the only artists in history with ten or more chart-topping projects. Donda also earned the biggest first-week sales figure across all genres in 2021.

You can revisit our review of Donda here.

Donda is out now via GOOD Music/Def Jam. Get it here.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Mike Lindell is in trouble. The CEO of MyPillow, the pricey bedwear company, is reportedly digging himself into a financial hole, having spent the last ten months spreading the “Big Lie” about the 2020 being stolen from his good friend Donald Trump (it wasn’t) and repeatedly changing the date of when he’ll get his old job back (he won’t — at least, not until at least 2024). And yet he still somehow finds time — and money — to launch attacks against his many enemies. His latest is a journalist, who had the gall to write a couple articles that didn’t make him look good.

Salon reporter Zachary Petrizzo posted a video on Twitter that showed Lindell, on his own show on his own website FreeSpeech.com, vowing revenge against him. What did Petrizzo write? Raw Story pointed out that he’s written only two: one about him selling a MyPillow plane to pay for his fight against Dominion Voting Systems’ $1.6 billion lawsuit; the other about him paying millions to “cyber experts.”

Lindell, known for his ever-unhinged public statements, gets a lot of negative press from all over the media. Usually they just report on things he did or said. But he decided to single out Petrizzo.

“I going to spend a lot more money, Zachary, contrary to your little thing here,” Lindell said on The Lindell Report. “We are going after that kid.” He added, “He’s an enemy of our country.”

Lindell’s threat was vague, made even more cryptic by his financial troubles. But unlike false claims about Trump winning an election he didn’t, at least there’s proof of his money woes.

(Via Raw Story)

Legendary singer Anita Baker spent the majority of 2021 fighting to gain control of the masters for her first five albums, which were released between 1983 and 1994. In March she announced she was making the big move. “Miraculously… i have out-lived *ALL, of my Artists Contracts,” she wrote. “They no longer ‘Own’, My Name & Likeness. And, by Law…30 yr old, Mstrs are 2B Returned, 2 Me. Unfortunately, They’re gonna make me Fight 4 it. I’m Prepared, 2 do that. Please Dont advertise/buy them ABXO.” Thankfully, nearly six months later, she’s successful. And she took to Twitter to celebrate.

“All My Children Are Coming Home,” she announced with a picture that displayed vinyl records of her first five albums. “Catalog. Impossible Things Happen… Every. Single. Day. Gratefully.”

After catching wind of the news, Taylor Swift, who previously voiced her support for Baker during her battle, cheered her on. “What a beautiful moment, CONGRATULATIONS ANITA!!” Swift wrote with two happy-crying and clapping emojis. Baker replied to her, writing, “Thank You, for Your *Fire & Support!! It Inspires us all, to move Mountains.”

After Baker shared the news that her masters had been returned, a fan asked if it was okay to stream her music again. “Yes. Chil’ren….” she replied. “STREAM ON [music note and ballon emojis] ABXO.”

Late night television used to be a lot more chaotic. Today’s chat shows are safe, overplanned. Nathan Fielder famously used a Jimmy Fallon appearance to satirize the trend towards overly wacky, possibly even questionable anecdotes. But once upon a time things got real. Every now and then someone resurfaces an old Tonight Show episode from 1994, where Burt Reynolds and Marc Summers seemed like they were about to beat the crap out of each other.

Reynolds was there to promote his memoir My Life. He wasn’t in the best place: Evening Shade, the show that had netted him two Emmy wins (and three more nominations) had recently come to an end. Loni Anderson and he had just divorced. Marc Summers, meanwhile, was still hosting Double Dare, the messy children’s game show. It was an odd pairing, and on The Tonight Show guests would hang together instead of swapping spots in the Green Room.

Things quickly escalate between them. Reynolds was already clearly peeved that host Jay Leno had made a joke about his divorce. When Summers — whom Reynolds had been giving a hard time over his claims to be a “neatness freak” (despite his Double Dare gig) — made a similar joke, Reynolds’ smirk violently turned into a sneer.

Suddenly Reynolds dumped a mug of water on Summer’s lap. Summers eventually responded in kind. When Summers tries to placate his opponent by reminding him that they got along when he did the Reynolds-co-created game show Win, Lose or Draw, Reynolds replied, “Funny, I don’t remember.” Reynolds also calls Summers Fabio and makes fun of him for being on Nickelodeon.

Eventually Leno decides to settle things with a pie fight.

By the end, the two guests seem to have reached an impasse. You can even see Reynolds signing his memoir for Summers. But there are moments when the rivalry does not appear to be a joke, where the normally unflappable Summers goes flappable and Reynolds, usually able to contain his rage, can’t contain it. It’s one of late night’s great too-real spats, up there with the Andy Kaufman-Jerry Lawler duel on Letterman (which Lawler later revealed was staged) or Letterman almost getting kicked in the head by Crispin Glover. And it’s a reminder that Burt Reynolds, whose last stretch found him suffering hard times, was a god.

You can watch the fight in the video above.

Last week, Texas began enacting their draconian abortion law, which bans the procedure after a mere six weeks and even puts anyone who performs or assists it in legal jeopardy. The announcement led to widespread condemnation, as well as creative forms of dissent. It was also only made possible thanks to the current, conservative-leaning Supreme Court line-up, three of whose members were installed by former president Donald J. Trump. And don’t think he’s not taking credit for the state’s new rules.

As per Raw Story, Trump did an as-yet-to-air interview with Sinclair television stations, a portion of which has already been made public. It finds host Sharyl Attkisson pointed out that many are blaming the ruling on the two virulently anti-abortion judges, Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett, he appointed, the latter shortly before he lost re-election.

“We do have a Supreme Court that’s a lot different than it was,” Trump said boastfully. “Before it was acting very strangely and I think probably not in the interest of our country.”

He did, however, admit that the law may not stay on the books permanently. “The ruling was very complex and also probably temporary,” he said. “I think other things will happen and that will be the big deal and the big picture. So we’ll see what will happen. But we’re studying the ruling and we’re studying also what they’ve done in Texas.”

He also teased that he and his team will “be announcing something over the next week or two weeks.” Perhaps it will involve the re-election campaign his wife reportedly does not want.

You can watch the interview snippet below.

(Via Raw Story)