Spring has truly sprung at this juncture in NBA self-isolation! This week we saw a few bunnies hopping around, each and every NBA fan turning into a HORSE girl, wildlife returning and Marc Gasol coming out of hibernation.

The onset of a hopeful new season is a reason to celebrate, for sure, but also to maintain the things necessary in the current state of the world so we can turn as literal a corner as a seasonal one. Like being smart, safe, and showing compassion and care for your neighbours and yourself, best exemplified by staying home and by LeBron James continuing to drink wine alone.

Bam Adebayo

Nice try, Bam, but you’d have to think I had a lot less time on my hands than I do not to capture this post before you promptly took it down after Easter. Like a reverse “He has risen”, I have screencapped it.

Rating: Bonus points for former notable teammates coming to terms real time that they’ve got a swingman-Easter bunny on their roster.

Luka Doncic

Look at scruffy Luka Doncic, look at scruffy Doncic’s scruffy, immaculately clean dog, Gia, both of them wearing matching comfortable outfits, eyeing you with, what is that? Mischief? Warm curiosity? From 35,000 feet. Is Doncic an influencer now? Because I sure feel like I’m about to purchase a set of very expensive muted beige bedding or a crate of sparkling icewine made from fossilized grapes.

Rating: Have you ever seen two beings less concerned with Maxi Kleber in the comments telling one, maybe both, to trim their beard?

Myles Turner

This was a fitness focused week for Turner who had some friends hold his legs while we reverse lifted weights and then went on CJ McCollum’s podcast to talk about uh, doing yoga with wasps in the same enclosed space on purpose.

Rating: All for pushing yourself to a new state of awareness during this time but maybe don’t start with shirking gravity and tempting wasps, leave that to Myles Turner.

Marc Gasol

If there’s one thing you can trust in challenging times it’s Marc Gasol, coming in hot. Whether it’s to render a force like Joel Embiid useless in a playoff series, undertake a humanitarian mission during his offseason, or dress up as Freddie Mercury during a global pandemic clutching a kitchen whisk with tin foil on it as a microphone, Marc Gasol chooses his moments.

Rating: And they’re always, always perfect.

LeBron James

Here’s James, still looking for a friend to drink wine with, but admitting, frankly, that he’s out of his mind when it comes to this vino.

Rating: My goodness.

Josh Hart

This week in isolation Josh Hart succumbed to the greatest risk of online shopping and grocery shopping simultaneously when he followed the algorithm for other things he might be interested in based on the one thing he was looking to buy, and did it while he was hungry. If 14 bags of chips fall on you in quarantine does anyone hear you eat them all?

Rating: If you post about it on Instagram, yes.

Tobias Harris

Harris went into Hardaway Jr. territory this week when he had a brush with some wild turkeys that strolled into his yard. First, he attempted to gas up a male turkey who seemed shy about putting the moves on a female turkey. “Come on man,” Harris said, urging the turkey on, “don’t be like that.” Soon a second suitor arrived, and Harris lamented the first turkey’s chance. The scene suddenly became a lot less serene when another of the grotesquely large birds rushed the glass and Harris yelped and jumped backwards. He then excused himself from the romantic pursuits of turkeys.

Rating: Based on those 20 seconds alone though, Harris seems like a good friend to call during a breakup.

Jimmy Butler

Jimmy Butler would actually make a wonderful Easter Bunny. No one would find their eggs because they would be up where you had to be in shape enough to jump five to eight feet laterally to get them and children would be shamed into thinking they hadn’t worked hard enough and that placing their belief in any force other than themselves was a fool’s errand, a waste of time.

Rating: Plus he looks cute in ears.

Serge Ibaka

Ibaka’s How Talented Are You? Started this week and one thing is for sure — Ibaka is a terrible judge! After allowing a magician through to the next round and getting chastised by guest judge, DeMar DeRozan, for being easily entertained, Ibaka then had DeRozan deliver the verdict to the next two talent hopefuls. But that was after he spent five minutes ragging on DeRozan for not being ready, when really Ibaka didn’t know how to connect him. The silver lining was Tiffany Haddish coming on and DeRozan telling a young woman who Ibaka already said he didn’t think was very talented (it wasn’t his turn to judge) that she would make it through to the next round.

Rating: This thing is a roller coaster that a newly moustached Ibaka chugs beer during the nerve wracking drops of.

P.J. Tucker

Tucker finished a workout and promptly wrung his towel out with so much sweat that it could fill a kiddie pool. Still, if you told me I could sit in that kiddie pool, I would.

Rating: Don’t let Goop get her hands on this.

Spencer Dinwiddie

You and Spencer Dinwiddie have been telling yourself the same thing all isolation while hoisting a glass up to toast yourself. The difference is there probably isn’t a pool in front of you, just Netflix plaintively asking if you’re still watching.

Rating: But think how antioxidized we’ll all be once this is over.

DeAndre Jordan

Unclear if these tags are Jordan’s or the soon to be middle school aged young person he is “with”.

Rating: I do worry about the young Banksy in question here, ready to throw up these tags and impress their new friends with all the fresh hope in the world.

JaVale McGee

McGee ran alongside his daughter as she went for her first solo joyride with Cookie Monster and Elmo strapped in. There was a very Too Fast and Too Furious moment when she slammed the brakes and Cookie went slouching over at the waist, but McGee righted him and the group continued to burn rubber.

Rating: I thought FF9 was delayed?

Dion Waiters

The guy is at it again, this time in an Iverson jersey. Waiters went careening around his house once more, doing tons of backwards shimmies, zipping around columns and now — dancing! Truly a matter of time until the Lakers utilize roller skating as a new high intensity training regime and suck all of the joy out of it.

Rating: There is no way, not really, that Waiters comes out of this and doesn’t go careening into the best season of his career.

D’Angelo Russell

Here’s Russell on a boat again, cruising around in the waves and swinging his legs, probably holding a bullhorn and advising people to stay off the beach as was advised here some weeks ago.

Rating: Contemplating solitude on the ocean? Emerging poet alert.

Dwyane Wade

Wade started Isolation Watch as a budding painter, taking up the brush whenever he could, straight up lying down in the middle of the floor to create whenever the mood struck him. Here we see him, some five weeks in, following the very normal trajectory for an artist who has received some early recognition.

Rating: Next will be a surprise appearance at Art Basel, where Wade will have walked into just looking for somewhere to validate his parking in Miami Beach.

Paul Millsap

Paul Millsap: basketball player, fledgling magician, and fed up with snow.

Rating: The people’s magician.

Jordan Bell

Bell was doing a new workout where he pulled himself across the floor (???) and his dog, unfortunately, donked it up. But if the point of this exercise (????) is to use your own body weight as resistance, wouldn’t the addition of an ashamed dog’s body weight increase that resistance, making it a better workout?

Rating: Please call me for a free fitness consultation.

Enes Kanter

Kanter continues to expand his culinary horizons, this time by squeezing about an entire thing of chocolate syrup into a blender on low. I can’t specify exact ingredients except for chocolate syrup and half a giant tub of ice cream based on the tub there to the side with half its contents now missing and the sparkly gif he used as flourish.

Rating: Please call Kanter for a free fitness consultation.

Zach LaVine

Aside from torching Paul Pierce in HORSE this week and consuming a bunny made out of pancakes, LaVine’s other timeless milestone was getting engaged! Congratulations, Zach! You’ve already got matching tracksuits and that’s half the whole point of marriage.

Rating: But does Paul Pierce get invited to the wedding?

Kyle Kuzma

Kuz caught an “Easter bunny” (I’m crying),

then did an in-home fashion shoot for his good friends at Gentleman’s Quarterly,

then took a bubble bath he got paid for.

Rating: I would say this was all in all a normal week for Kuzma in isolation but I think it was a normal week for Kuzma in general.

Mike Conley

Checking in on Mike Conley for a wholesome break in isolation coverage and ah, yes, getting live reports that he’s running back and forth with one of his small children across a regulation size indoor home basketball court in the hopes of tuckering the tiny little Spiderman out.

Rating: Did it work? Only time will tell so good thing we’ve got a lot of it.

Bismack Biyombo

Here’s Biyombo delivering exactly what’s been promised.

Rating: If you aren’t familiar with the marketing budgets of massive publishing houses, a picture like this, painstakingly staged for eight hours, would constitute about 20k of a single ad campaign.

Terry Rozier

Rozier got a new French Bulldog puppy, and the two seem very happy to be getting acquainted.

Rating: Not so scary Terry.

Tim Hardaway Jr.

Hardaway Jr. was out on his back deck, ostensibly waiting for the pair of manatees he’s befriended.

Rating: “You – spongy, grey skin, used to come around Me – waiting with garden hose” — Hardaway Jr.’s Missed Connection

Otto Porter Jr.

Players in isolation encountering wildlife took a turn when some deer entered into Porter Jr.’s backyard and he was very much not here for it! Does he hate deer? Did he just plant a garden he was worried they were going to nibble at? Was he just surprised to see them? Had he not seen that meme yet about nature taking over?

Rating: Does he think the Bucks are messing with him?

CJ McCollum

CJ McCollum’s puppy, Fiona, only looks little around CJ McCollum, otherwise you’d see she’s actually the size of a calf already but that is not a sign of how long isolation’s been going on, she’s just a large breed!

Rating: Gonna be pretty cute when McCollum’s got a baby buffalo following him around.

Kevin Love

Love’s Isolation movie nights continue, this time with a reminder that Pierce Brosnan only really ever played one kind of role.

Rating: Dwyane Wade better watch out in case Love gets any ideas about fine art theft.

Brandon Ingram

Here’s Ingram with a classic case of Nobody Talk To Me Until I’ve Had My Coffee.

Rating: He’s taking not having had his coffee yet pretty well.

Bogdan Bogdanovic

It’s difficult to tell what “New look” Bogdanovic is referring to at first, given you might just go to wipe your phone screen off to get rid of that thin smudge but wait, that smudge is the New look he is referring to. A brand new, tiny moustache like the sprout of a seed trembling as it busts through spring dirt. We will see how this develops.

Rating: The emoji is generous, it’s true.

Terrence Ross

Puzzles continue to be a hit as does not feeling too bad for Terrence Ross, isolating in paradise.

Rating: You can see the piece of the elephants ear right there in front of him too, can’t you?

DeAndre Bembry

Bembry risked it all for cookies. No, he was safe in supporting a small business. There were X’s on the floor marking where to stand and when Kawhi Leonard and Kyle Lowry went to this place at 2am after losing Game 5 and came back to win the Championship, how can you blame him?

Rating: Could’ve used a vicarious post-cookie report to live through.

PAUL PIERCE’S PLACE

Paul’s had a busy week! First, he got ready to face Zach LaVine in the NBA’s new HORSE tournament by cheersing to himself in his home grotto:

Then he got smoked by Zach LaVine in the NBA’s new HORSE tournament:

Full cred to Paul though, he came dressed for golf on a chilly day, and didn’t seem to remember or care to remember how to play basketball. At one point, Pierce was just standing on a small child’s scooter. Case in point about the golf outfit though, because a couple days later that’s what he was up to, still in his backyard:

Finally, he took a solo bike ride down a sunny street with a mask that seems too small for his face:

The RX is Uproxx Music’s stamp of approval for the best albums, songs, and music stories throughout the year. Inclusion in this category is the highest distinction we can bestow and signals the most important music being released throughout the year. The RX is the music you need, right now.

You’d be forgiven if upon hearing “Dragonball Durag,” the lead single from Thundercat’s new album It Is What It Is, you assumed that his latest full-length would follow in the vein of his last one, Drunk. That is to say: If you figured he’d be up to his usual, haphazard, up-way-too-late-in-the-morning-getting-way-too-high shenanigans, you’ll likely receive some pleasant surprises from this project, which is a more mature work that spends a lot more time ruminating on love, heartbreak, and the inevitability of death.

Of course, maturity is relative; after all, there is still a song about flexing a haircare accessory adorned with a colorful pattern inspired by a Japanese children’s cartoon. There are even some songs inspired by the theme songs of anime like Dragon Ball, with the hard-driving “I Love Louis Cole” borrowing one of those high-energy Saturday morning guitar riffs and an adventure-teasing drum beat — courtesy of the titular drummer/producer, naturally. Clearly, Thundercat’s droll sense of irony remains intact on his latest.

But it’s also been weathered, both by age and by tragedy. In 2018, Thundercat’s close friend and collaborator Mac Miller passed away from an overdose. The resultant grief translates itself into a melancholy mood that permeates ‘Cat’s usual tongue-in-cheek lyrical musings. “Black Qualls,” a feature-laden jam session that employs Internet guitarist Steve Lacy, under-the-radar funk icon Steve Arrington, and the multitalented Childish Gambino, pays homage to Miller’s memory by echoing the life lessons he spoke to on his last two albums, Swimming and Circles. “I’m not living in fear,” Thundercat croons, “Just being honest.”

In a recent interview with The Guardian, Thundercat explained the impact Mac’s death had on him wanting to change his own lifestyle. “I mean, we were in trouble,” he said. “You don’t realize it all the time. It’s sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll. It’s real. You ride the line, you don’t know how close you are sometimes… I’ve been drinking forever. It’s such a part of me. I was always that guy who’s missing one of his shoes, covered in blood, [but] I couldn’t do the same things I’d done before.”

He also revealed that in the span of just months, not only was he shaken up by Mac’s death, but he was also bludgeoned by the devastation of being dumped, leading to songs like the morose “Unrequited Love.” It’s the sort of song he would have cracked about making around the time Drunk came out, but is now full-hearted and sincere. He addresses the “Existential Dread” of feeling like death is right around the corner and could strike at any time (particularly poignant in the wake of global current events) and gives a mournful salute to his departed friend on “Fair Chance.”

And while that may sound the makings of a depressing album about depression, Thundercat’s deft, spacey bass noodling and dreamy falsetto keep the mood as light as pink cotton candy. The guests range from the smoky emotion of Ty Dolla Sign to the original blog rap troll Lil B, letting ‘Cat continue to at least smirk in the face of the heavier content, if not outright laugh at it. There are traces of that same, silly, devil-may-care artist in songs like “Dragonball Durag,” and even in the lyrics of “Fair Chance”: “So hard to get over it / I’ve tried to get under it / Stuck in between.”

The looseness of the overall construction allows the album to cover a lot of ground in its trim 14 tracks — many of which are under two minutes in length — yet the breeziness it sounding more focused than Drunk was. It’s smooth, but not soft, it’s airy but it has substance. It’s serious but not too serious, reflecting the times in which it was made — we’re all facing plenty of darkness, trying to find the light, and forced to accept that sometimes, it just is what it is.

It Is What It Is is out now on Brainfeeder. Get it here.

Most companies are struggling right now, for sadly obvious reasons, but not Netflix. Netflix is thriving, as millions of people are stuck at home all day with nothing else to do than watch Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse for the third time this month. (That is not a judgement, it’s a recommendation.) Variety reports that the streaming service’s stock is currently an all-time high, and for the first time ever, Netflix is “worth more” than Disney.

“Netflix’s stock, extending its three-day rally, closed up 3.2 percent [on Wednesday], to $426.75 per share. That gives Netflix a current market capitalization of $187.3 billion, putting it just over Disney’s $186.6 billion, after the media conglomerate’s stock finished down 2.5 percent amid a broader market decline Wednesday,” according to Variety. Netflix’s previous high was $418.97/share, which it hit in July 2018, the same month The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants premiered. I assume that’s not a coincidence:

Netflix is scheduled to report first quarter 2020 earnings next Tuesday, April 21, after market close. It previously forecast total paid net adds of 7.0 million worldwide. Many analysts expect Netflix to gain more than that. Pivotal Research Group now expects Netflix to net 8.45 million new subscribers for Q1. (Via)

In two weeks, eight million new Netflix subscribers are going to be asking all their friends, “Have you heard about this Tiger King?” Yes, we’ve heard about Tiger King.

(Via Variety)

The rollout for DaBaby’s upcoming album, Blame It On Baby, continues unabated. Despite an ongoing quarantine due to the international COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak, DaBaby’s promotion cycle for this album has been nearly impeccable. Beginning with a powerful recap of his wild 2019 and including a teaser for his new flow, a cinematic music video for his lead single, and a surprise announcement of the album’s impending release date, it’d almost be impossible to notice that Blame It On Baby was affect by coronavirus at all if not for the topical cover artwork.

But DaBaby isn’t done yet. Although we already have a title, a release date, and the cover art, the Charlotte, North Carolina rapper has yet to reveal a tracklist. Instead, he continues to lay out breadcrumbs leading up to the album’s drop. In lieu of song titles, DaBaby dropped a graphic on Instagram revealing the stacked guest list for the project, including both trap legends like Future and Quavo, up-and-coming rap crooners like A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie and Roddy Ricch, fellow rabble-rousing hip-hop troublemaker NBA Youngboy, and naturally, his come-up copilot through much of 2019, Megan Thee Stallion, with whom he dropped the fan-favorite “Cash Sh*t” from Megan’s mixtape Fever. But the true surprise is millennial pop-R&B icon Ashanti.

DaBaby also released a tongue-in-cheek trailer for Blame It On Baby, lampooning the commercials for accident lawyers. Check out the feature list and the promo video above.

Blame It On Baby is due 4/17 on Interscope.

Heartbreaking news from WWE this morning as Howard Finkel, unarguably the greatest ring announcer in the history of the company (and, slightly more arguably, the greatest ring announcer in the history of wrestling) has died. He was 69 years old.

Via WWE.com:

When considering the greatest ring announcers in the history of sports and sports-entertainment, you’d be hard-pressed to name one better than Howard Finkel. A native of Newark, NJ, “The Fink” — a label that had been attached affectionately to Howard over the years — made his ring announcing debut at Madison Square Garden in 1977 for WWE’s predecessor, WWWF.

By 1979, Finkel was the full-time ring announcer for WWWF, and when WWE was established in 1980, The Fink became the first — and eventually longest-serving — employee. Finkel’s distinctive voice was instantly recognizable, and for more than two decades Superstars such as The Ultimate Warrior, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and more would have a title victory marked by The Fink’s signature call, “and NNNEEEWWW World Champion!”

While no cause of death was announced, The Fink had been dealing with health issues that limited his public appearances for the past several years including a 2018 stroke. Even that couldn’t keep him away, however, as he visited Monday Night Raw in September of 2019. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2009.

The role of Howard Finkel’s voice in our memories of the World Wrestling Federation of the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s can’t be understated. Our love and condolences go out to his family, friends, and fans. Below are a few videos of his work, in case you’d like to hear it again. Rest in peace, Fink.

---

View Entire Post ›

Who knows exactly where Mindy Kaling finds the time for all the TV and film projects in her post-Office life, but we’re not complaining. Not too long after Four Weddings and a Funeral reboot on Hulu and her Late Night film with Emma Thompson, the Kaling-created Never Have I Ever series is coming to Netflix. The show’s semi-autobiographical and finds inspiration within Kaling’s own adolescence in Massachusetts (she was born in Cambridge). As the trailer shows (with big-bold captions), Kaling is promising to put a “nerdy, extra thirsty” spin on this coming-of-age story.

To no one’s surprise who knows Kaling’s work, the lead character is very much an overachiever like her inspiration, but social circles won’t be a smooth ride. After a casting call that drew 15,000 candidates, newcomer Maitreyi Ramakrishnan landed the role of Devi. The show’s synopsis promises to put an always-comedic spin on “the complicated life of a modern-day first-generation Indian American teenage girl… who has a short fuse that gets her into difficult situations.”

Kaling recently stressed to Variety that she was excited to make a show “about an Indian nerd who’s also badly behaved, to show that because I’m deeply familiar with it.” She stressed that nerds aren’t all quiet and unassuming wallflowers but can have “obnoxious personalities” and get in trouble like all the other teens. Sounds like a good kind of trouble? We’ll find out when Never Have I Ever arrives on Netflix on April 27.

Many of us have things from our childhoods we wish we could get back, but in many cases, that’s not possible. Time has a habit of making things disappear, and The Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney thought the same thing happened to a prized guitar he had growing up. It turns out, however, that wasn’t the case.

Carney, who turned 40 years old yesterday (April 15), told the story of how he was recently able to buy back a guitar from his childhood, even though it changed hands multiple times since he got rid of it in 1994. Carney bought his 1964 Daphne Blue Fender Mustang guitar because it was the guitar Kurt Cobain used, but Carney damaged his. He got rid of it, and miraculously, he managed to find and buy the exact same guitar online just a few weeks ago.

It’s a wild tale, so read Carney’s telling of it below.

“I was obsessed with Nirvana around 1993/1994. I wanted a fender mustang so badly because of course that was the guitar Cobain used. One day in March 1994 in the Akron Beacon Journal classified ads I saw a listing for a 1964 daphne blue Fender mustang for 175 bucks. Easily 400 bucks cheaper then what they were worth at the time. My dad drove me to this guys house and I bought the guitar. Cobain killed himself a few weeks later.

It was my prized possession.

A few years later I’m playing in my friend David’s garage and I drop the f*cking thing and smash the enamel and paint and dent the body. I was so f*cking bummed about it. The thing was mint and I just f*cked it up. I decided around this time to trade it for a Jazz bass and telecaster. I traded with my buddy Andy. He loved it but eventually needed money and sold it to his brother Matt who covered the f*cking thing in stickers and traded it ultimately for a NECK TATTOO.

The neck tattoo artist took it to a friend of ours in town (Dan Johnson who is now Dan’s guitar tech) to sell it for him. He posted it on EBay and it sold to someone.

So a few weeks with my 40th birthday approaching I thought I should get myself a 1964 daphne blue mustang. I found one listed on Reverb that has been refinished by Lay’s guitar shop in Akron Ohio and it’s daphne blue the seller is in Texas…. I bought it. I just thought there is a chance some how this is mine. The photos didn’t show the area where I dropped it but I thought hey there is a chance.

I got the guitar a few weeks ago and it has the same damage to the body. I got my guitar back for my 40th birthday.”

During this weekend’s virtual taping of Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update co-host and writer Michael Che revealed that his grandmother Martha had recently passed away after being diagnosed with COVID-19. “As you know Colin, I lost my grandmother this week, and coming back to work really made me feel better — especially with you,” he told Colin Jost before guilting him into telling a racially-charged joke during the recurring “Joke Swap” segment. Che called it his grandmother’s “favorite part of the show” before later disclosing that she never watched SNL, “I just wanted you to do that.”

To honor his late grandmother, Che is paying one month’s rent for all 160 residents of her New York City public housing complex.

“It’s crazy to me that residents of public housing are still expected to pay their rent when so many New Yorkers can’t even work,” Che wrote on Instagram on Wednesday (there are over 111,000 confirmed cases of coronavirus in New York City alone, with nearly 7,000 deaths). “Obviously I can’t offer much help by myself. But in the spirit and memory of my late grandmother, I’m paying one month’s rent for all 160 apartments in the New York Housing Dept. building she lived in. I know that’s just a drop in the bucket, so I really hope the city has a better plan for debt forgiveness for all the people in public housing, at the very least.” He then asked the three titans of New York City politics — Bill de Blasio, Andrew Cuomo, and Diddy — to “fix this.” You can read the message below.

Will Toledo previously teased that his upcoming Car Seat Headrest album, Making A Door Less Open, would be more diverse than previous efforts. With a new mindset, he has so far shared diverse songs like “Can’t Cool Me Down” and “Martin.” Now he has further teased the record with a song called “Hollywood,” which isn’t exactly laudatory about its namesake place.

The lyrics come from a point of view that is not a fan of show business, as Toledo sings, “You got a face that you think / Will last as long as sphinx / But the poster’s painted over in a week if it stinks.” He sums up his feelings on the chorus: “Hollywood makes me wanna puke.”

Toledo previously said of his upcoming album, “I wanted to make something that was different from my previous records, and I struggled to figure out how to do that. I realized that because the way I listened to music had changed, I had to change the way I wrote music, as well. I was listening less and less to albums and more and more to individual songs, songs from all over the place, every few days finding a new one that seemed to have a special energy. I thought that if I could make an album full of songs that had a special energy, each one unique and different in its vision, then that would be a good thing.”

Watch the “Hollywood” video above.

Making A Door Less Open is out 5/1 via Matador. Pre-order it here.