What We Do in the Shadows (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — Mark Hamill drops by to play an old enemy of Laszlo’s intent on killing him, for good. Naturally, Laszlo goes on the run.

The Goldbergs (ABC, 8:00 p.m.) — Barry teaches Erica a lesson in compassion when Geoff’s dad is sent to the hospital and Beverly takes steps to ensure Adam gets crowned Prom King.

The Masked Singer (Fox, 8:00 p.m.) — Jay Pharoah joins the judging panel as the final four compete for the golden mask trophy in tonight’s semi-final.

Schooled (ABC, 8:30 p.m.) — Lainey must choose between Barry and CB while Coach Mellor is faced with a difficult parenting decision when Toby is invited to the prom by a senior.

American Housewife (ABC, 9:00 p.m.) — Katie goes to bat for Anna-Kat by confronting the mother of the child she suspects might be bullying her daughter at school. Meanwhile, Taylor completes the final item on her life skills checklist – teaching Greg to shoot a three-pointer.

Motherland: Fort Salem (Freeform, 9:00 p.m.) — The unit grows closer in the aftermath of Citydrop as the witches’ distrust of Alder grows. Tally learns some shocking information about Gerit while Anacostia grants one last favor to Scylla.

Single Parents (ABC, 9:30 p.m.) — After a wine-filled night of packing, Angie struggles to remember what happened with Will while Poppy encourages him to come clean about his feelings before Derek can take her away.

By now, we’ve all seen the many conspiracy theories about the coronavirus pandemic floating around (Plandemic, anyone?), but medical conspiracy theories are nothing new. In fact, most of the anti-vaccine movement is predicated on a couple of them that are getting a lot of attention right now:

1) Pharmaceutical companies are big, money-grabbing corporations (which is arguably true) and therefore doctors and medical associations that recommend people get vaccinated are all part of the Big Pharma conspiracy to fool the masses into paying them big money (arguably not true).

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2) There’s a bigger, more nefarious plot organized by some evil player (ahem, Bill Gates) to vaccinate people in an attempt to depopulate the world or control the masses somehow, and the pandemic is just a planned rouse to give the medical “establishment” an excuse to carry out the dastardly plan.

I’m sure there are other somewhat related ones, but one thing they all seem to have in common is an underlying assumption that most doctors are willing to go against their “do no harm” oath in order to stash some cash. That seems like a terribly negative view of doctors and humanity in general, but that’s how conspiracy theories work—they play on people’s fears and amplify skepticism to outrageous proportions.

Dr. David Young, a hospital care specialist in the Chicago area, shared a breakdown of his daily schedule in a COVID ward to illustrate what these conspiracy theories sound like when you take them out of the chatroom/YouTube information bubble in which they fester. And you have to admit, the absurdity really does come through.

Young wrote:

A lot of people have been asking me what it’s like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I’d share what a typical day looks like for me:

6am – Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans

6:30am – Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop.

7am – Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds.

8am – See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better.

9:30am – Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases.

10am – One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again.

11am – Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors.

12:30pm – Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year.

1pm – Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch.

2pm – A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster.

2:45pm – Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

4pm – One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure

6pm – Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth”

6:10pm – Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk.

7pm – Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths.

9pm – Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today.

Snort. Even as someone who uses essential oils and herbal treatments for some things, I found this hilarious. That really does seem to be close to what some conspiracy-minded folks think doctors do all day.

The reality is that the vast majority of doctors really do go into medicine to help people and would not tacitly go along with any evil plots to harm even one person, much less mass numbers of people. While there are legitimate discussions and debates to be had about pharmaceutical medicine vs. alternative medicine vs. natural medicine for various ailments, as soon as we get into evil plots and conspiracy territory, those legitimate discussions lose all credibility.

Doctors on the front line are dealing with enough right now. They really shouldn’t have to be fending off absurd ideas about them lying and scheming en masse to fill their own pockets or bring the world to ruin.

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Grammy-nominated rapper Mozzy just released his full-length effort Beyond Bulletproof. Now, Mozzy celebrates the record’s release with a clever video accompanying one of his collaborative tracks. Following social distancing guidelines, Mozzy, G Herbo, and King Von share a creative take with their quarantine-recorded “Body Count” visual.

The visual opens with a parody of a newscaster discussing how the coronavirus “is going crazy.” The remainder of the video sees each rapper performing from their respective homes, with Mozzy only opening the door to accept a food delivery order from a suspiciously sick delivery man.

Ahead of the visual’s release, Mozzy spoke with Uproxx about Beyond Bulletproof and what he does to become a better person:

“Spending more time with my children, that always helps. It fulfills me. Looking out for people. Instead of looking out for a couple of people this month, we going to look out for 20 people. Even if it’s small, even if it’s minute. Just looking out for people. I’m taking it to the next level of looking out. Just going further with it. Reading; that always assists me. It helps mold me. Dedicating myself to my family. Understanding what a priority is. Understanding how to prioritize and just understanding that we are limited to time on this earth and so whatever it is that I want to accomplish, whether it’s with family, financially, socially, I got a bite down. I got to live within a moment. I got to do it right now, right now. Practicing living in the moment always help me.”

Watch Mozzy’s “Body Count” video above.

Beyond Bulletproof is out now via Empire. Get it here.

Marvel Studios might be the house that Robert Downey Jr. built, but now that the actor has officially hung up his Iron Man armor, he’s apparently going to work for the “Distinguished Competition.” According to The Hollywood Reporter, Downey and his wife will produce an eight episode live-action adaptation of the DC Comics/Veritgo series Sweet Tooth for Netflix. Will Forte and James Brolin are currently attached to star.

Written by Jeff Lemire, here’s the official synopsis for Sweet Tooth, which ran for 40 issues starting in September 2009:

After being raised in total isolation, Gus – a boy born with deer-like antlers – is left to survive in an American landscape devastated a decade earlier by an inexplicable pandemic. Even more remarkable is that Gus is part of a rare new breed of human/animal hybrid children who have emerged in its wake, all apparently immune to the infection. Enter Jepperd, a violent, hulking drifter who soon takes in Gus and promises to lead him to “The Preserve,” a fabled safe-haven for hybrid children. Along the way they’ll have to contend with science militias, deadly scavengers, rival bounty hunters, and hybrid worshipping cultists as they fight to make it to safety and solve the mysteries of this deadly new frontier.

Pushing Sweet Tooth to series is an interesting move, but fitting for Netflix’s current strategy of still pursuing comic book properties even after it publicly cut ties with Marvel. It also jibes with Downey’s recent foray into television, which includes shepherding the Perry Mason series starring Matthew Rhys at HBO. What does raise questions is why Sweet Tooth landed at Netflix and not HBO Max, which has been aggressively mining DC Comics properties for streaming content and already has a relationship with Downey. But that could be a simple matter of who had the sweetest deal.

(That was uncalled for. You’re right.)

(Via THR)

Professional wrestling and professional basketball have a history dating back decades. But despite the mutual respect between athletes of the NBA and the WWE, only a handful of players have ever stepped inside the squared circle for a legit match, mainly Dennis Rodman and Karl Malone.

Well it’s about time to add another name to that list: Boston Celtics center Enes Kanter. A longtime pro wrestling fan (and former 24/7 Champion), Kanter recently sat down for an interview with Stadium in which he was asked about his post-NBA plans. Kanter didn’t hesitate at all, not only saying he wanted to become a WWE Superstar, but that the company has already made him an offer to get in the ring:

“Oh, I’m definitely becoming a WWE wrestler, for sure. I actually already have offers from WWE, but I’m like, ‘Dude, I gotta finish my basketball career first.’ But after my [basketball] career, I’m definitely becoming one.”

The 6’11” Kanter, who turns 28 next week, already has nine seasons in the NBA under his belt. He is under contract with the Celtics through the end of the 2020-2021 season. Could we see Kanter vs. Gronk for the 24/7 championship at a WWE pay-per-view in Saudi Arabia in 2022? I mean, literally anything is possible at this point, But at least we know the guy’s got moves:

Ariana Grande spent some time with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe on Beats 1 today, as she joined the host to play some songs and talk about a number of things. She revealed she made a song with Doja Cat, and she also took some time to discuss Mac Miller.

Grande told Lowe about how devoted to music Miller was, saying that “nothing was more important” to him than his craft:

“I think that nothing mattered more to him than music, ever. And he was the kind of person who woke up and rolled into the studio, tumbled out of bed, into the studio next door. Nothing was more important. Talk about losing track of time and forgetting to eat, remind yourself to take care of yourself and be a person. He was a person who gave literally every single second of his thought and time and life to his music. And I think that’s so evident in what he’s left us with, and just how many incredible and different bodies of work, everything from Blue Slide Park, KIDS, to all the way through Divine Feminine, to Swimming, to Circles, to everything in between.

It’s just such a beautiful gift I think that he kind of touched the world with, and I think the thing he’d want most is for us to just appreciate it and not forget about it.”

Find more excerpts from Grande’s conversation with Lowe here.

For the first time since 1983, the official NBA game ball will no longer be produced by Spalding as Chris Haynes of Yahoo Sports reports the league and Spalding have mutually agreed to part ways after next season when their contract runs up and Wilson will take over production.

Wilson was the NBA’s first ball manufacturer, but since 1983 Spalding has held that role. Wilson, which is the official game ball sponsor of the NCAA Tournament, will now produce game balls for most high school, college, and professional basketball leagues.

The NBA’s contract with Spalding is expiring and now Wilson will be the new partner to produce the league’s official game ball starting with the 2021-22 season, sources with knowledge of the deal informed Yahoo Sports.

Wilson will also serve as the official game ball of the WNBA, NBA G League, NBA 2K League and Basketball Africa League (BAL), sources with knowledge told Yahoo Sports.

It’ll be strange for a lot of fans to see NBA basketball being played with something other than Spalding, but Wilson will be working with the NBA and NBPA on a new game ball. Initially, they will use the same leather and specifications for the first edition, but will take advisement from players on potential tweaks they’d like to see. The WNBA will continue to use a composite ball, per Haynes.

UK rapper Slowthai has already had a busy year. From recording music with Gorillaz to having a very public meltdown on live television during the NME Awards, the rapper has been making headlines. Now, Slowthai shares a look into a new era of music with the Kenny Beats-produced track “Magic.”

“Magic” arrives as a surprise release from the rapper. The song follows shortly behind “Enemy” which was released just a few days ago and marked his first solo single of 2020. While “Magic” leaked prior to its debut, Slowthai returned with a slightly tweaked version for the official release.

With blown-out, adrenaline-pumping instrumentals provided by Kenny Beats, Slowthai continues his off the wall style lyrical style. “I sip Brandy, not too handy / With the tool, but it’s coolio / Been a lost boy like Rufio / And now we got dough, employ that ho,” Slowthai raps, referencing a character in the 1991 Robin Williams film Hook.

While “Magic” marks the first song Kenny Beats has teamed up on with Slowthai, the producer has worked with rappers from across the board. His collaborations list includes Tyler The Creator, Mura Masa, Jpegmafia, Rico Nasty, and Denzel Curry.

Listen to “Magic” above.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Our Socially Distanced Summer is fast approaching and our favorite labels are finally stepping up and delivering their best drops of the year. This week will see the rerelease of Adidas classic UltraBOOST silhouette in its original Triple White colorway which will no doubt put YEEZY heads in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between acquiring the sneaker that put the UltraBOOST on the map (thanks, in part, to Kanye famously rocking a pair) or picking up the latest YEEZY design, the 500 High Tyrian. Go with the UltraBOOSTS, we say.

On the apparel end, Supreme is launching one of their best music-themed capsules in some time, in large part thanks to the inclusion of Daniel Johnston’s iconic psychedelic art. Champion Japan is also dropping a fire archival collection of vintage pieces for die-hard Champion fans, and Palace is releasing the first pieces from their summer collection.

Here are all the best sneaker and apparel release out this week, let’s dive in!

Comme des Garçons Nike Dunk Low Pack

First appearing back in September during Paris Fashion Week — in a pre-COVID-19 world, wild! — the Comme des Garçons Nike Dunk Lows are finally here. The collaborative pack consists of two Dunk Lows both utilizing a translucent Nexkin woven upper over a logo-printed or non-logo printed base. Of the two, we’re digging on the non-logo version a bit more, though your decision may depend on how badly you want your socks in play for your whole ensemble.

The Comme des Garçons Nike Dunk Low back is set to drop on May 14th for a yet to be announced retail price. Pick up a pair exclusively through the Dover Street Market.

Adidas YEEZY 500 High Tyrian

There are two types of YEEZY fans out there — either you’re a Kanye West stan and you gotta throw your support behind Ye at all costs, or you like YEEZYs because of the insanity that the designs bring to the sneaker game. When Kanye West isn’t churning out a seemingly endless supply of earthy colorways of the YEEZY 350 V2, he’s making sneakers that look less like kicks and more like alien feet. The 500 High Tyrian fit that description to a T.

With a mixed leather and suede upper, the 500 High Tyrian utilizes blue neoprene, black leather, and brown suede tones for a rich boot that slots nicely in your summer wardrobe. If we ever have a summer.

The Adidas YEEZY 500 High Tyrian are set to drop on May 16th for a retail price of $220. Pick up a pair through YEEZY Supply.

Adidas UltraBOOST 1.0 Triple White

If you feel like Adidas’ UltraBOOST has continually missed the mark when it comes to improving upon the initial design, you’ll be pleased to know the OG UltraBOOST is dropping in the original Triple White colorway that made it a must-own sneaker in 2015. Everything about the early iteration of the UltraBOOST has returned — the lightweight minimally adorned Primeknit upper, the semi-spiked outsole, the locked-in feel, the ultra response BOOST midsole — it’s a great addition to any sneakerhead’s ensemble.

We might side with the crowd that says Adidas has never made a worthy successor to the original, or maybe we’re just feeling nostalgic for a bygone decade.

The Adidas UltraBOOST 1.0 Triple White is set to drop on May 17th for a retail price of $180. Pick up a pair through the Adidas webstore.

Jordan Delta Vachetta Tan

Get off the court with these lifestyle Jordan Deltas from Jordan Brand. Dressed in a season-appropriate Vachetta Tan, this pair of non-performance-based Jordans features contrasting mint blue laces and tongue with crisp scarlet accents atop a comfy React foam midsole. It isn’t what comes to mind when you think of a pair of Jordans, but is that a bad thing?

The Jordan Delta Vachetta Tan sneakers are set to drop on May 14th for a retail price of $150. Pick up a pair through the Nike SNKRS app.

Reebok Instapump Fury City Pack

Lovers of the hideous Reebok Instapump Fury will be treated to the best drop the silhouette has ever seen since the height of its popularity three years ago. The City Pack consists of four sneakers that pay homage to the cities of Osaka, Tokyo, Shanghai, and Seoul. Considering you won’t be able to travel for the foreseeable future, this might be the closest you’re going to get to those cities for at the least the next year. Why travel, when you can wear a destination on your feet? The same feet that you use for walking around in your home and literally nowhere else. What? Lockdown isn’t making me crazy, it’s making you crazy!

The Reebok Instapump Fury City Pack is set to drop on May 15th with each pair retailing for $169. Choose your city at Atmos.

Palace Summer 2020 Collection

Finally clean out of their Spring 2020 looks, Palace has dropped a collection that is geared exclusively for the summer, though the collection does, in fact, include jackets. Give them a break, they’re UK based!

The full collection consists of short and long sleeve t-shirts, knits, sweatshirts, tracksuits, bottoms, hats, skate decks, and accessories. The shirts primarily feature graphics that utilize Palace’s Tri-Ferg logo, while the button-down shirts take on a more subdued quality with simple summer color basics — with the crazy sunglasses sunshine shirt being a notable exception. The full collection is pretty extensive and features over 150 individual pieces, so head to Palace’s site to get a full look.

The Palace Summer 2020 collection is set to drop on May 15th. Shop the looks at the Palace webstore.

Champion Japan Homage To The Archives

Japan stays the home of the best drops, thanks in part to this exclusive Homage to the Archives collection out of Champion Japan that sees some timeless pieces from the brand’s 100-year history finally getting some much-needed updates and rereleases. Highlights of the collection include the reverse weave cotton patchwork short-sleeve sweatshirt, a relaxed fit ox jacket, and the all-over vintage printed Champion button up.

The Homage To the Archives collection is available now, to shop the full set, head over to the Champion Japan webstore, just prepare to not see your order for weeks due to shipping.

Supreme Daniel Johnston Collection

In tribute to the singular Texas musician Daniel Johnston, Supreme is dropping a special capsule collection as part of their Spring/Summer 2020 line that features some of Johnston’s more instantly recognizable work, most notably Jeremiah the Innocent and imagery from Space Ducks. The full collection consists of long-sleeve plaid shirts, jackets, work pants, t-shirts, hoodies, and beanies, and is actually pretty extensive — offering a variety of different color options.

As far as music crossovers go, this is one of Supreme’s best.

The Supreme Daniel Johnston Collection is set to drop on May 14th exclusively through the Supreme online store.