Category: Viral

Zoe’s story, “Removed,” has been seen by millions of people.

It was previously shared by my amazing Upworthy colleague Laura Willard. We got just a tiny taste of what it was like for kids in foster care, right after being removed. Specifically, a little girl named Zoe and her little brother Benaiah.

My wife and I, foster parents for the past year, even shared the original with our adoption worker, who passed it along to the entire agency and, then, it took off like wildfire among those people as well.

This is part 2 of that story, and it hits hard.

(Yes, the video’s on the long side at about 20 minutes. But it’s worth the watch to the end.)

She describes her life as a cycle, interrupted by a tornado. She’s a foster child. I don’t think I need to say any more.

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So … let’s accompany that with 9 uncomfortable — but enlightening — facts below. There are only nine bolded, but within those headers, there are several more facts.

1. There are an estimated 400,000 kids in foster care right now.

Some are awaiting adoption. Some will go back to their parents. Others will age out or, sometimes, run away.

2. Foster kids can suffer from PTSD at almost two times the rate of returning veterans.

And PTSD can mimic a lot of other mental illnesses, and it can manifest as nightmares, flashbacks, fight-or-flee responses, anger outbursts, and hyper-vigilance (being on “red alert” at all times), among other symptoms.

3. The average age of a foster child is 9 years old.

They’re just on that edge of childhood, and chances are, it’s been a pretty messed up childhood at that. Trauma does that.

4. About half of all foster kids are in non-relative foster homes.

8% are in institutions, 6% are in group homes, and only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes. Read that again — only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes.

5. Some of foster children experience multiple placements. In some cases, eight or more.

That’s eight homes that they move into — and out of. And just consider … that means they lose not just adults and other kids with whom they are establishing a bond, but friends, schoolmates, pets.

6. The average foster child remains in the system for almost two years before being reunited with their biological parents, adopted, aging out, or other outcomes.

8% of them remain in foster care for over five years. Of the 238,000 foster kids who left the system in 2013, about half were reunited with parents or primary caregivers, 21% were adopted, 15% went to live with a relative or other guardian, and 10% were emancipated (aged out).

7. In 2013, more than 23,000 young people aged out of foster care with no permanent family to end up with.

And if you add that up, year after year, hundreds of thousands of foster youth will have aged out of the system. What does that look like? “You’re 18. You’ve got no place to live and no family. Good luck — buh-bye now!” One-quarter of former foster kids experience homelessness within four years of exiting the system.

8. Foster “alumni” (those who have been in foster homes and either adopted, returned to parents, or aged out) are likely to suffer serious mental health consequences.

They are four-five times more likely to be hospitalized for attempting suicide and five-eight times more likely to be hospitalized for serious psychiatric disorders in their teens.

Based on that set of statistics alone, it’s in the public’s interest (ignoring, for a second, the interests of those kids) to help them through their lot in life and spend resources making it all work much better for everybody before it gets to that point. Right?

So there’s a lot to be angry about in this whole messed up situation. But this next thing? My blood boils.

What’s one of the biggest risk factors in families whose children are placed in foster care?

Your guess?

Cruelty?

Drugs?

Sexual abuse?

Neglect?

The answer is …

9. Poverty

Together with homelessness and unemployment, it’s a main contributing factor. It happens all the time. The fact that it’s far easier for a parent to be accused and investigated for neglect or abuse because of simple things like lack of access to a vehicle, or a working refrigerator, or the ability to get a kid to a doctor’s appointment — that has a lot to do with this. Tie that to the link between drug abuse and poverty and between poverty and child abuse … well, you can see where this is going.

And in a country where one-third of children are living in poverty (hint: the good ol’ U.S. of A.), imagine how that affects the number of kids being removed and placed into foster care.

I’ll end this with a bit of hope through my story.

My kids went through something a lot like the kids in the clip above before they came to live with us. We’ve been through the ringer in ways that we’re going to have to talk about one day because it’s not just that the kids have been challenging — they have — it’s that the system itself has been more challenging.

The entire system — from agencies to government entities to social workers to even the schools — seems like it’s designed to fail these kids and the families who are attempting to help. It’s almost designed not to work. There, I said it.

But that doesn’t mean we won’t fight to make it better for everybody. We most definitely will.

As for us, we’re just a few weeks away from becoming the legal parents to these kids, and we’re extremely happy to be right here, making it happen. And they seem quite happy to be our kids. Along the way, we fell in love with them, and we can’t imagine life without them.

But to be totally honest … if we’d have known how hard it was going to be when we started this journey, and if we could somehow turn back the clock and NOT do it … well, would we have actually gone forward with the process?

I take that back. I won’t be totally honest here. I will simply let you decide.

Here are some places to help, if you’re so inclined.

• AdoptUsKids.org is a place to start if you’re considering fostering or adopting.
• My Stuff Bags is a really cool and inexpensive way to help foster kids by gifting them actual luggage, duffel bags, and more, so that they don’t travel from home to home with garbage bags for their belongings — or nothing at all.
• CASA for Children offers legal help and advocates for foster kids through a network of volunteers.

The 2024 Paris Olympics games have begun. From Snoop Dogg’s carrying of the torch to Lady Gaga, Celine Dion, and Gojira’s trending performances, cameos featuring musicians are in abundance.

But in typical fashion, Beyoncé surprised the world with a patriotic promotional video that nearly crashed the internet. Yesterday (July 26), while after everyone processed the dazzling opening ceremony, NBC Olympics & Paralympics dropped their Team USA introduction video lead by none other than the Cowboy Carter herself, Bey.

In the visual, Beyoncé dressed in fully customized Americana regalia fit for the now reigning rodeo queen as a reimagined version of her song “Ya Ya” soundtracked the moment.

Beyoncé’s entry into country music, often viewed as the most red-blooded American genre, wasn’t exactly appreciated at the time. Despite the tension from naysayers, the Houston native preserved and make musical history along the way. The true American way.

This complex dynamic of who is considered to be a proper representation of America made its way into the promotional clip as Beyoncé said: “These hopes and dreams. These superstars that represent us. The people of this big, bold, beautiful, complicated nation.”

Call it what you want, but this type of alignment couldn’t have been more divine.

Watch Beyoncé’s introduction video for Team USA above.

The United States were led into the Opening Ceremony at the Paris Olympics by a pair of flag-bearers: LeBron James and Coco Gauff. The future Basketball Hall of Fame inductee and the 20-year-old superstar in the world of tennis are at the opposite ends of their careers, but their fellow Olympians chose them to represent the Stars and Stripes.

This Opening Ceremony was a little different, because instead of all the athletes walking into a stadium, everyone was put on a boat that went through the River Seine, which cuts right through the city. It led to some absolutely breathtaking moments, which remained the case when Team USA showed up late in the evening in the driving rain.

James held the flag up during this in what was both a really cool moment and something that the internet latched onto. While James is no stranger to getting meme’d, folks on Twitter ran with this one and kept making jokes comparing him to the famous painting of George Washington leading American troops to cross the Delaware River during the Revolutionary War.

The patriotism on display was off the charts.

As for when we’ll see James turn in his Opening Ceremony outfit for his USA Basketball uniform, the men’s team will take the floor for the first time against Nikola Jokic and Serbia on Sunday.

The 2024 Olympics men’s basketball tournament got underway on Saturday, and the headliner of the first day of action was the host nation France playing their first game against Brazil.

The French side has medal expectations and figure to be one of the biggest threats to the USA for the gold, as their roster is headlined by Victor Wembanyama and Rudy Gobert, who create a terrifying defensive tandem in the paint. The two top vote getters in last year’s NBA Defensive Player of the Year award race figure to make it tough to get to the rim in the half court, but transition is a whole different ball game as we learned early in France’s opener.

The Brazilian squad got out on the break and Joao Cardoso authored the early frontrunner for highlight of the Olympics with a crazy alley-oop finish over Gobert, sending the 4-time DPOY crashing to the floor.

Part of being a great rim protector is going after blocks that you may not have a chance to get, and that means getting dunked on. Gobert is no stranger to that, but this is one of the most vicious finishes we’ve seen over him and the Brazil team was rightfully hyped after Cardoso put the Stifle Tower on a poster.

It’s the 21st century, and as a civilization, we’ve come a long way. No, there are no flying cars (yet), but we all carry tiny supercomputers in our pockets, can own drones, and can argue with strangers from all around the world as long as they have internet access.

And yet women are still having to ask their partners to help out around the house. What gives?

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Recently, Blogger Constance Hall went on a highly-relatable rant about spouses assuming responsibility for housework, and women everywhere are all, “🙌 🙌 🙌 .”

Recently while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing “preach Queen”, someone said to me “if you want help you need to be specific… ask for it. People need lists, they aren’t mind readers.”

So I tried that, asking.. specifics..

“Can you take the bin out?”

“Can you get up with the kids? I’m just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years”

“Can you go to woolies? I’ve done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond.”

And yeah, she was right… shit got done.But I was exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging..And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking…?

NOTHING.Again.

And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not your job to ask for help, it’s not my job to write fucking lists.

We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.Just do it.Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house.

Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet? Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day? Is one of you carrying the weight?

Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists….All your left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer..It’s not up to anyone else to teach you consideration.

That’s your job.Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers.

Hall’s post touches on the concept of emotional labor, which can be defined as “the process of managing feelings and expressions to fulfill the emotional requirements of a job.”

In other words, although Hall’s partner may be the one carrying out the tasks she assigns him, it is still Hall’s job to be the “manager” of the household, and keep track of what things need to get done. And anyone who runs a household knows that juggling and keeping track of chores is just as exhausting as executing them.

At time of publication, Hall’s post was shared nearly 100,000 times. That’s a lot of frustrated ladies!

When your girl Far Kew sends you the perfect present. You will find this and more cunty cups on her facebook page 👌🏽
Posted by Constance Hall on Thursday, November 30, 2017

Women in the comments section seemed to overwhelmingly agree with Hall’s post.

Let’s all learn to share the load…laundry and otherwise.

This article originally appeared on 08.27.18

There are many traditional staples of fatherhood—love, support, protection, security, providing an example—but there is, of course, that other not-so-warm-and-fuzzy feeling that dads can provoke in their kids at any given moment … sheer, utter embarrassment.

Usually in a father’s humiliation tool belt is the infamous dad joke. These corny puns have been around since 2003, and let’s face it, they’ll never leave. Of course, no dad needs one to make your eyes roll. They can do that most of the time simply by being themselves.

For his well-known #Hashtags segment, Jimmy Fallon asked his “Tonight Show” audience to share “funny, weird, or embarrassing” stories about their dads. Fallon, a father himself, is no stranger to the cringeworthy power of a dad joke. In a 2020 interview with TODAY, Fallon admitted, “I’m starting to get the eye rolls now where Daddy’s not the funniest person in the world.”

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Don’t worry Fallon! Clearly you’re not alone, because people replied with some truly hilarious comments. Dads might be silly, but we’ll gladly put up with it for the love they give us.

Enjoy 20 of the very best #DadStories. As usual, Fallon went first:

1.

“Instead of buying a smoker my dad just grills in the garage with the door closed.” – @jimmyfallon

2.

“At my aunt’s wedding reception, my dad ran out from the bathroom when he heard You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees play, and proceeded to do John Travolta’s routine from Saturday Night Fever.” – @MJ_Rose88

3.

“My Dad will call me sometimes when he wants me to bring him food. He refers to me as ‘GrubDash.'” – @FalPalAMF828

4.

“My dad likes to play a very morbid game called ‘guess who died’, which consists of him gossiping about someone I probably haven’t seen in 20+ years and can’t remember at all, who died recently. Bonus points for guessing the cause of death.” – @jon_jonz

5.

“My dad used to drink his morning coffee with his dentures in his hand while reading the newspaper. When we asked him why, he said his teeth also wanted to read the newspaper.” – @FallonHolic_

6.

“When my dad took my sister to her first Jr. HS dance, she asked to be dropped off a block before the school. My dad proceeded to take her all the way up to the main entrance, got out of the car and loudly announced her arrival!” – @77BroncosFan

7.

“Asked my dad if he knew who Taylor Swift was…he said, I don’t care who he is!” – @JessyKrupa

8.

“My dad whistles really loud. He sticks his head out the window and whistles back to birds. But when the lady next door heard him, she called 911. The cops told her, ‘Lady, he didn’t whistle at you. He only flirts with birds.'” – @tostianascripts

9.

“When my dad would leave a message on my answering machine, he would end the message saying, ‘This is dad signing off.'” – @RealRobFindor

10.

“We were on vacation and the gift shops selling fudge called plain fudge ‘chocolate no nuts.’ A guy walked up to my dad with some samples and offered him some saying ‘chocolate no nuts?’ And my dad said ‘what did you just call me?'” – @lauraceciliaOT

11.

“My Dad laid a new floor in my brother’s house. It was all finished so we couldn’t understand why he was taking up the boards again. Turns out he had seen a spider run underneath and was worried it would be trapped.” – @Sohnzie

12.

“Whenever my dad would try to talk us into trying something new to eat he’d state, ‘It’s so good it’ll put hair on your chest.’ He had 3 daughters.” – @Bookelew

13.

“My mom once bought a 6 ft Santa statue at a yard sale without telling dad. When he got home and parked, we heard banging, crashing and swearing. We went to look and the Santa was laying face down on the curb. Dad thought someone was trying to jump him.” – @dknessfalls

14.

“My dad couldn’t decide if he wanted to be called ‘grandpa’ or ‘papa’ so he just told all of us to call him ‘Coach.’ He’s not a coach.” – @iPopEditor

15.

“My father went to the McDonalds drive thru and asked for a whopper. When they said ‘they didn’t have whoppers’, He just drove off without placing an order.” – @Marisa_Rosie22

16.

“One day we went out to eat at Pizza Hut and sat in front of an empty table with some pizza left on it. My dad, being the penny pincher he is, grabbed some and started eating it. A few minutes later the couple comes back from the bathroom asking ‘where’s our pizza?'” – @Alex_Erickson3

17.

“My dad let a bee land on his hand and watched it closely as it stung him because he ‘wanted to see the process up close.'” – @TrippyPsycholo1

18.

“My dad once tried to tell a lady she had a Big Bug on her, but accidentally told her she had a Really Big Butt. She was not amused.” – @Sallyjo25

19.

“My dad thinks it’s funny to introduce my mom as his ‘first wife’….my parents have been married for 58 years and are in their late 80’s.” – @annMcD87

20.

“My dad entered Canada by swimming across the Niagara from the US under the cover of night.” – @albertduic

This story originally appeared on 06.17.22

If you’ve never heard of the Cat Distribution System, then you probably don’t own a cat, or you do, but you acquired your cat in a normal, non-weird way. You know, like at an animal shelter or from some nice lady on social media who had a box of kittens. Some people do get cats that way, and it’s one thousand percent a valid way to attain cat parent status.

But some lucky folks get cats through the Cat Distribution System (or CDS for short). Is this system real? The only people who know this are cats. They’re also the ones that run the system, so the rules and the way in which you attain your purr machine may be a bit wonky. You may wake up with an unknown cat in your bed even though all of your windows are closed, or you just may be like this delivery driver.

The driver was out picking up orders when a cat came out of the CDS and jumped on the man’s leg as he attempted to get back to his car. Thanks to his dash cam, you get to see CDS at work, and so did his mom. The video currently has over 2.8 million views on TikTok.

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When the driver asked his mom if he could keep the cat, at first she said no. Then she saw the footage of the cat aggressively and desperately choosing her son to be its new cat dad—and that’s how you get a cat through the CDS. Once the cat realized she made the right choice, she snuggled up on her dad’s lap as he drove her home.

“We are not cat people,” reads the text overlay. “My youngest son was out making deliveries last night. A cat kept following him. Then jumped on his leg and would not let go.”

I have news for you, Mom, you’re cat people now. It’s how the Cat Distribution System works. They train their recruits to turn non-cat people into cat people, one unsuspecting human at a time. If you don’t make it to the end of the video, yes, they kept the cat and her name is Venus. That’s how the system is designed.

Watch the CDS at work below:

@dretontheborder

#catrescue #catrescueroftiktok I am not a #catperson but maybe now I will be after today. I #Love my #son has a #huge #compassionate #heart #momsoftiktok #rescate #gato

This article originally appeared on 4.12.23

No matter how long you’ve skied or snowboarded or how much of an expert you are, there’s one nemesis on the mountain that poses an underappreciated threat—the tree well.

People may think the main danger of skiing through trees is the risk of running into one. But falling into a tree well is a less obvious, but still potentially deadly risk due to the possibility of snow immersion suffocation (SIS). Essentially, the area around the base of a tree creates snow conditions that are quite different than those out in the open. Air pockets in the snow combined with water vapor rising from the tree base turns the snow into a quicksand-like texture that is nearly impossible to escape from—the more you struggle, the deeper in you fall. Skiers and snowboarders die every year from SIS due to falling into tree wells and not being found in time.

That could easily have been snowboarder Ian Steger’s fate in March 2023 if not for the eagle eye and quick thinking of backcountry skier Francis Zuber.

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Zuber had just begun a backcountry ski run with a buddy on Mount Baker in Washington State when a flash of red caught the corner of his eye. Zuber’s GoPro footage shows him stopping and turning to see a colorful snowboard upside-down next to a tree.

“I knew there was somebody attached to it, and obviously they were still alive,” Zuber told Vancouver’s City News. “I shout out to the guy…he can’t hear me, he’s five and a half to six feet into the snow at that point.” Zuber knew he had to work fast.

As the video shows him struggling to make his way back toward the tree through the deep snow, we can hear him muttering expletives to himself and calling out to the snowboarder. At first, we can’t see how Steger is positioned, but as Zuber gets closer and starts digging, it becomes clear that the snowboarder is completely upside-down, with his face buried deep in the snow.

Watch the harrowing GoPro footage Zuber shared on YouTube:

[Warning: This video contains strong language.]

Zuber told the CBC that they estimated Steger had been buried between five and seven minutes, “probably at either a third or just the halfway point of his possible survival time in there,” when he found him. Zuber said Steger hadn’t been snowboarding alone—he was with a group of three other riders who were carrying safety equipment including shovels, beacons and two-way radios—but as we could see in Zuber’s GoPro, getting back up a mountain when you realize someone in your group isn’t behind you anymore is no small or quick task.

Steger and Zuber have since become friends since the March 3 rescue and have even gone skiing together on Mount Baker.

Steger told the CBC he just wants to “enjoy being alive.” Indeed, after a close-call experience like that, every moment you have would feel like a gift.

This article originally appeared on 4.6.23

As we know, baby name trends are constantly changing. One generation’s Barbara is another generation’s Bethany. But it doesn’t make it any less odd when you suddenly realize that your very own name has suddenly made it into the “old and unhip” pile. And for many of us 80s babies…that time is now.

In a now-viral TikTok post, baby name consultant Colleen Slagen went through the top 100 girl names from 1986 to find which ones “did not age well” and were no longer ranked top 1,000 today. Such a descent from popularity would mark them as what she calls “timestamp names.”

Spoiler alert: what might be even more surprising than the names now considered old school are the names that are still going strong.

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The first name that Slagen says is “officially out” is Heather. That’s right, not even cult movie fame could help it keep its ranking.

via GIPHY

Other extinct names include Erica, Courtney, Lindsay, Tara, Crystal, Shannon, Brandy and Dana. Tiffany, Brittany and Casey are also heading very much in that direction.

“My name is Brandy. The Gen Z hostess at Olive Garden told me that she’d never heard my name before and it was so unique,” one viewer wrote.

However, Andrea ranks “surprisingly high,” and Jessica, Ashley and Stephanie have survived…so far.

Gobsmacked, one person asked “How is Stephanie still in there? I don’t think I’ve met a Stephanie younger than myself at 34.”

But the biggest holdout still belongs to Jennifer. “She was a top 100 name all the way up until 2008. Round of applause for Jennifer,” Slagen says in the clip.

@namingbebe Sorry Lindsay, Heather, and Courtney. #babynames #nametok #nameconsultant #girlnames #80skid #1986 #nametrend ♬ original sound – Colleen

If your name has found its way into relic of a bygone era status, fret not. Slagen, whose name also ranks out of the top 1000, assures it just means “we are creatures of the 80’s.”

Of course, while we still have baby names that become incredibly common for extended periods of time (looking at you, little Liam and Olivia), the real contemporary trend is going for uniqueness. As an article in The Atlantic notes, for most of American history families tended to name their children after a previous family member, with the goal of blending in, rather than standing out. But now, things have changed.

Laura Wattenberg, the founder of Namerology, told the outlet that “Parents are thinking about naming kids more like how companies think about naming products, which is a kind of competitive marketplace where you need to be able to get attention to succeed.”

But again, even with a keen eye on individualism, patterns pop up. “The same thing we see in fashion trend cycles, we see in names,” Jessie Paquette, another professional baby namer, told Vox. “We’re seeing Eleanor, Maude, Edith—cool-girl grandma names.”

So who knows…give it time (or maybe just a pop song) and one of these 80s names could make a comeback.

This article originally appeared on 5.9.24

When Rocky Kanaka first met Katie, a scruffy beige Australian Shepherd mix, he thought she was a senior dog. As it turned out, the shelter pup was only about a year old. She had just been found by a good samaritan as a stray, her fur and skin in terrible shape, her paws swollen and her spirit muted. She didn’t even want to look at Kanaka when he first entered the kennel to sit with her.

That all changed as he took the time to sit with her and earn her trust. Kanaka has gained a huge following on YouTube with his videos sitting with shelter dogs, and his way with them is truly inspiring. He brings his own home-baked treats and a huge amount of patience and compassion, helping abandoned animals learn that humans can be kind and caring companions.

Katie is one of many dogs Kanaka has visited, and her behavior in the kennel showed him that she hadn’t had much of a chance in her short life to learn how to be a dog.

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For instance, when Kanaka offered her a stuffed unicorn to play with, she didn’t know what to do with it. He tried a squeaky toy, which she also didn’t know what to do with and found overwhelming after a few squeaks. She took Kanaka’s treats, but not immediately and not in the way a dog who understands the concept of treats would.

But throughout the video, the stray pup responded to Kanaka’s affection and love by melting right into it. She even wanted to sit in his lap toward the end, but didn’t seem to know how. Kanaka scooped her up, despite the foul smell her skin condition created, and it’s clear that this pupper just loves being loved.

Watch:

It’s hard for animals with obvious health issues, especially something as visible as a skin condition that makes them look and smell bad, to attract people looking to adopt. But by taking half an hour to get to know her, Kanaka helped us all look past all that and see Katie’s sweet spirit shine through.

So many people fell in head over heels for Katie through this video:

“OMG, The person who gets her will have the best dog as she is so obviously starved for affection and so willing to give it back ten fold.”

“That dog doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body. she was instantly ready for you to pet her.”

“Her little tail wag broke my heart for what’s she’s been through but also lifted my spirits that she has a strength to survive and become a loved family member.”

“It’s shocking how neglected she looks but her desire to be loved is so strong. She’s going to bring such joy to her forever home.”

“I consider myself somewhat of a tough guy…. I’m from the streets, had a crazy hard life, i did 9 yrs in prison, seen it all, done it all and ain’t scared of nothing… I’m telling you that because in spite all that, when i see videos like this, i start crying like a 5 yr old girl…Goes to show you that what life has done to them, we can relate, and we see it in animals that have been hurt by others and part if me wants to knock out someone that would hurt a dog or kitty like that. Animals bring out the love and compassion we’ve forgotten because we know they’re teaching us what we definitely need to learn. What is truly considered, unconditional love….”

Rocky Kanaka’s work with dogs is both inspiring and informative, and he’s succeeded in helping so many dogs find forever homes instead of languishing in shelters because they don’t make the best first impression. Not long after this video aired, Katie was rescued and will hopefully continue to get the tender care and kindness she deserves.

Follow Katie’s journey on Kanaka’s website here. You can also follow Rocky Kanaka’s channels on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared on 5.9.24