Body horror movies don’t typically do well at the box office, but there’s nothing typical about The Substance.
Director Coralie Fargeat’s exquisitely gross film starring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley has earned $25 million worldwide, making it arthouse distributor Mubi’s highest-grossing title ever. The Substance doesn’t have a streaming release date, so it should continue to do well in theaters for weeks to come. Especially after a (slightly NSFW) GIF from one scene went viral.
You can see it here, and once you do, you’ll get why everyone is making jokes about Qualley and her husband, Bleachers frontman and super-producer Jack Antonoff. “Can Jack Antonoff fight?” one user on X wrote, while another joked, “Jack Antonoff count your days.” Here’s one more: “i’ve never prayed on another human beings downfall the way i’m praying on jack antonoff’s.”
Qualley previously discussed starring in The Substance with The Sunday Times. “I’ve always wanted people to take me seriously and so I’ve done roles where I felt like that would come across, and this was something I’d never done because of that,” she said. “I leant in to being totally objectified, a completely vain character.” Qualley also revealed Antonoff proposed to her while she was filming the movie. “I was so excited that I tackled him and he cut his knee, and I flipped over a chair,” she said, “but it was cute.” They got married last August (and were swarmed by Swifties).
Drake and PartyNextDoor’s joint album may be coming soon, if we can believe what Party said during a recent interview. While appearing on OVO’s The Fry Yiy Show, Party gave an interesting update on the album’s status.
“I have had an insane week,” he said. “You guys know what’s coming for you. Party and Drake have a classic. And we, you know, we trying to put the finishing touches on it, so… Yeah, it’s a jam-packed month for me filled with the thing that I love to do the most.”
Drake first teased the upcoming collaboration during the Toronto stop of Party’s Sorry, I’m Outside Tour promoting his new album, P4. The hometown heroes surprised attendees with Drake’s appearance, then Drake surprised them again with the news that they’re putting together a new album — a welcome announcement for beleaguered Drake fans weary of catching hell online in the wake of his harrowing Kendrick Lamar battle.
Then, earlier this month, Drake liked a post promising the album’s on-track for a fall release. Party also revealed that the project will have 15 songs — although knowing these two, that could change as easily as a release date. Fans eager to hear more of the chemistry that the two artists have flashed on prior collaborations like “Recognize,” “Loyal,” and “Come And See Me” are hoping for an October release, as it would fit the title of their label, October’s Very Own, but it sounds like they are aiming to at least have it out before December.
The Tennessee Titans made a few big decisions this offseason, as the team opted to fire longtime coach Mike Vrabel and bring in a more offensive-minded coach in Brian Callahan. Part of the thought process was that this would help 2023 second-round pick Will Levis develop into a starting QB in the league after he showed flashes during his rookie campaign.
Instead, the Titans, and Levis in particular, have really struggled, as the team is 1-4. Levis has become more well-known for his reactions to things happening than his play on the field, as he leads the league in interceptions and is 30th out of 31 qualified quarterbacks in QBR. Of course, growing pains are expected, and the hope in Tennessee is he’ll be better for going through all of this, but his play still led to him coming up on Monday’s edition of First Take. Specifically, Stephen A. Smith wants to know one thing: How exactly was Levis able to get commercials as a spokesperson for mayonnaise?
Stephen A. Smith on Will Levis: “How the hell he get these commercials? See, that’s the problem with America… we got to stop rewarding mediocrity… how you gonna get a mayonnaise commercial and you playing like that? I mean come on.” pic.twitter.com/sIPlKvSRlp
“How the hell did he get these commercials, then?” Smith asked. “See, that’s the problem with America. That’s the problem with America, right there. Right there’s the problem with America. We got to stop rewarding mediocrity, you understand what I’m trying to say? You shouldn’t be able to accomplish — how you gonna get a mayonnaise commercial and you’re playing like that? I mean, come on. Come on.”
Levis, of course, has been a spokesperson for Hellman’s Mayonnaise for quite some time, and has spoken about how much he loves the product. That included an interview with us that was focused on his mayo-inspired cologne from before this season began.
Apple TV+ recently announced Murderbot (starring Alexander Skarsgård), but that isn’t the only heavyweight title coming to beef up the tech giant’s sci-fi offerings. Of course, the streaming service already has Sunny, Invasion, Foundation, For All Mankind and Monarch: Legacy Of Monsters under that label, not to mention the upcoming second seasons of the atypical worldbuilding on display in both Severance, and Silo, but now, Apple TV+ will be adapting a more challenging cyberpunk classic, Neuromancer.
You heard that right, and it’s a gamble. Let’s piece together some tidbits.
Plot
William Gibson’s debut novel, Neuromancer, is a seminal work that has been bestowed with the Philip K. Dick Award among other coveted honors and has inspired film directors, video game designers, and countless novels over the decades. Can this 1980s console-cowboys classic really work on the small screen?
Adapting this project will be a doozy, but that’s an understatement. Multiple efforts have been made over the decades to do so, including an abandoned Fox effort from Tim Miller (Deadpool) and Simon Kinberg (X-Men). In fact, the book has been called “unfilmable” for so long that it seemed that cyberpunk circles would never see Neuromancer onscreen, but Hollywood can never say never forever. Also, if Frank Herbert’s Dune can (finally) spawn a pair of successful WBD movies and another in the works, then anything is possible.
Early this year, Apple TV+ issued a a press release that revealed plans for a 10-episode first season co-created by Graham Roland (AMC’s Dark Winds, Amazon’s Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan and JD Dillard (HBO’s The Outsider). In a joint statement, the pair declared, “[T]his collaboration marks a dream come true. Neuromancer has inspired so much of the science fiction that’s come after it and we’re looking forward to bringing television audiences into Gibson’s definitive ‘cyberpunk’ world.”
For Neuromancer, Callum Turner (Apple TV+’s recent Masters Of The Air) will embody hacker/”cowboy” Case, who will ride his console through cyberspace, and a brief series description follows:
The series will follow a damaged, top-rung super-hacker named Case who is thrust into a web of digital espionage and high stakes crime with his partner Molly, a razor-girl assassin with mirrored eyes aiming to pull a heist on a corporate dynasty with untold secrets.
Thus far, further plot details on this series remain hush hush as far as how closely the series will follow Gibson’s novel, but it’s worth noting that, if successful, this could potentially be a multisession effort. The author did, after all, complete his Sprawl trilogy with two other books, Count Zero and Mona Lisa Overdrive, for future reference.
Cast
Callum Turner will be joined by Briana Middleton as Molly. That leaves a bevy of other characters without casting news yet, but the cyber-night is young.
Release Date
Apple TV+ is growing ever-more serious about their sci-fi with a number of newly announced titles, but at this time, Neuromancer does not have a projected release date.
Trailer
As with this streaming service’s other sci-fi offerings, expect the production values to be top notch, in contrast to, say, Hackers starring Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie.
With the start of the 2024-25 NBA season just a week away, every team in the league thinks this is the year they achieve their goals. The truth, of course, is that only happens for a handful of teams and the rest enter the offseason disappointed, especially with the number of teams that have gone all-in to build a roster capable of contending for a title right now.
Success for each team in the NBA looks a little bit different. At the top, success is a title or, at the least, a Conference Finals appearance. Others are simply looking to take a step forward from last year and win a playoff series, make the playoffs, or even just crash the Play-In party. And then you have the teams at the bottom, where success isn’t measured in wins, but by seeing growth from young players and giving themselves a chance to add a potential star in what is expected to be a loaded 2025 NBA Draft class.
Here, we wanted to look at what we think success looks like for all 30 teams in the NBA, from the abstract of figuring out who their foundational pieces are to those with more concrete goals of winning series or lifting the Larry O’Brien.
Atlanta Hawks: Figure out a clear direction
To be clear, this does not mean the team has to trade Trae Young, or really anyone (although, it seems likely a move or two is coming for the Hawks). Atlanta’s just so far away from competing for a top-4 seed in the Eastern Conference — let along competing for a title — that they need to determine how they’re going to get there. Whether that’s taking a swing to build around Trae, some maneuvering to seek out a running mate from the top of the 2025 NBA Draft, or staying the course because someone like Jalen Johnson proves themselves to be a budding star, the Hawks are just kind of listless right now and could use a sense of direction.
Boston Celtics: Repeat
Don’t think this section has to be especially long. The Celtics won a championship last year, and are all-in on doing it once again around the core that won them a ring. Maybe they aren’t as dominant in the regular season between the long-term injury to Kristaps Porzingis, but once the postseason rolls around, the expectation is another ring.
Brooklyn Nets: Embrace the tank
Let Cam Thomas shoot the ball 35 times a game, let Nic Claxton try to score exclusively via lobs that he finishes with his left hand, trade Dorian Finney-Smith and other vets, whatever it takes. The Nets are signaling that they plan on being horrible this year — they made it a point to get their 2025 pick back from the Houston Rockets in their offseason wheeling and dealing — and if you’re going to be bad, at least commit to being bad in a fun way. One thing is for sure: Thomas is going to put up some of the most entertaining box scores in the league this year. I can’t wait to watch.
Charlotte Hornets: Literally anything positive
The Hornets have been the league’s most bland team for years. Even when they have fun and interesting players, that just never translates to consistent, winning basketball. Now, they have a new ownership group, a respected new coach in Charles Lee, and a pair of building blocks in LaMelo Ball and Brandon Miller that should generate optimism in the Queen City (if, of course, Ball stays healthy). They just have to show they’re laying down a foundation. They don’t need to win 50 games or even be a Play-In team, just show that there’s something cooking here for fans to get excited about.
Chicago Bulls: For ownership, the 10-seed, a Play-In run, and then a 4-1 series loss in the first round; for fans, they finally tank
There is no bigger disconnect in sports than what the decision-makers with the Chicago Bulls want and what fans of the Chicago Bulls want. Really, the one thing that both sides can probably (I think?) agree on is that Zach LaVine plays well enough to rehab his trade value, which is far too low for a player of his caliber (at his best, of course) because of his contract and his injury situation.
Cleveland Cavaliers: The roster construction bet works and they make a playoff run
After plenty of talk about how at least one of Darius Garland or Jarrett Allen could move this offseason, they’re both back, and Allen actually got extended. Donovan Mitchell signed an extension. The team hired Kenny Atkinson to try and get the best out of Evan Mobley — who, you guessed it, signed an extension — on offense. The hope in Cleveland is all of this works, they win a ton of regular season games, and they can make at least the Eastern Conference Finals. If not? We’re willing to wager those trade rumors about Garland and Allen pop back up, at the very least.
Dallas Mavericks: Get back to the Finals
The Mavs made the NBA Finals then added Klay Thompson. That is not something you do if you plan on taking a step back, and as long as Luka Doncic is in town, there’s going to be a ton of pressure on everyone to bring a championship to Dallas. It’s hard to have title-or-bust aspirations when you’re not the clear-cut best team in the conference, though, so we’ll say a successful season involves navigating the West, getting to the Finals, and letting whatever happens happen. And who knows? Maybe Luka is the latest superstar to fail in the Finals, figure out what he has to do on that stage as a result, and win when he gets back there.
Denver Nuggets: Back to the Finals, as well
It’s an interesting year in Denver, which lost Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, gave Jamal Murray a ton of money despite a hobbled playoff run and a horrible Olympics, and has to figure out Aaron Gordon’s contract situation. Having said that, they were awfully close to making the Western Conference Finals last year and still have Nikola Jokic. They need their young guys to all take a big step, particularly Christian Braun, but the expectation is to get back to the Finals. If they don’t (and especially if they have an early exit in the playoffs) then some different conversations will almost certainly start up about Denver.
Detroit Pistons: Bad, but in a way that makes people optimistic
Very little has gone right for the Pistons over the last decade. It would, truly, be a miracle if they suddenly became a playoff team this year, so let’s instead say that we see the sorts of steps forward that lead to optimism under new head coach JB Bickerstaff. Cade Cunningham consistently looking like a guy you can build your whole operation around, guys like Jaden Ivey and Jalen Duren look good under a new coach, Ron Holland flashes as a rookie, Ausar Thompson shows literally any progress as a shooter, stuff like that. Just give Detroit fans, who are some of the best in the league, something to latch onto.
Golden State Warriors: Keep the window open for Steph
We saw during the Olympics this year that Steph Curry can do some special things when you need him to win you a high-profile basketball game. The question with the Warriors is whether they can get Steph to a point where they can have him win them games. The good news is that, even though it lost Klay Thompson, Golden State made some smart moves to build out its roster this summer, and should fight for a playoff spot this year. Just getting to the postseason is half the battle with Curry, as he’s still able to make them a threat once there, but he does still need some help.
Houston Rockets: One really big step forward
The Rockets haven’t make the playoffs since 2020. Whether or not they can this year remains to be seen, but they definitely need to show that they’re a competitive Play-In team at the absolutely minimum. They have a ton of young, interesting, talented players, the veterans they have in place tend to complement those guys well, and Ime Udoka is one hell of a coach. Figuring out the futures of their extension eligible youngsters (Alperen Sengun and Jalen Green) is important, too, but that will likely get sorted out by whether they reach that Play-In goal or not.
Indiana Pacers: Last year, only better
The Pacers did get the absolute most out of their roster last year on their run to the Eastern Conference Finals. The question now is if they can repeat that with a full season of Tyrese Haliburton (who, hopefully, will be healthy) and Pascal Siakam. They didn’t really do a ton during the offseason outside of extending their guys, so they’re banking on continuity and maybe the young guys who didn’t play a role for one reason or another during their run last year — the injured Bennedict Mathurin, second-year forward Jarace Walker, rookie Johnny Furphy — giving them a boost.
Los Angeles Clippers: Everything finally clicks and they’re a contender in the West again
Is there a world where the Clippers get better after losing Paul George? If there is, it all comes down to two guys: Kawhi Leonard playing and staying healthy, and James Harden recapturing some of the magic he was capable of creating earlier in his career by having the ball in his hands more. Skepticism is fair, but if they can reach those heights, they can bring L.A. a long way.
Los Angeles Lakers: Don’t waste the final years of LeBron James
LeBron is going to turn 40 this year. For all the talk about how the Lakers are banking on the development of their young guys, there’s urgency to win for that simple reason — you can’t let the career of arguably the best basketball player of all time, who is playing at a high level skill, go out with a whimper. James and Anthony Davis can take the team a long way, but if they’re a Play-In team, the calls that the Lakers are not doing enough in the final years of LeBron’s career will become louder than ever.
Memphis Grizzlies: Back to the top of the West
Memphis went from winning 56 and 51 games in back-to-back years to a horror show of a 2023-24 campaign due to a ridiculous number of injuries. The team won 27 games and had 33 guys take the floor at one point or another. This year, with Ja Morant back and guys like Desmond Bane and Jaren Jackson Jr. ready to go, the Grizzlies should have aspirations of returning to the top of the conference, and they might even be able to make the conference finals for the second time in franchise history.
Miami Heat: Have Heat Devil Magic (complimentary) strike again
The Heat are in a really weird spot with Jimmy Butler entering free agency next summer. Bam Adebayo is at the peak of his powers and Jimmy still has a high gear he can hit, but everything else is a big ol’ shrug. However, no one is better at taking a roster that doesn’t pop on paper and getting the most out of it than Erik Spoelstra, and perhaps there’s one more magical run left in the Heat. If they’re going to do that, young guys like Jaime Jaquez Jr. and Nikola Jovic need to make some leaps into being high-end starters, but we’ve seen the Heat development system deliver wins a number of times.
Milwaukee Bucks: Make the Finals
The Bucks are still all-in, even if they became a bit of an afterthought in the East this summer. The Knicks and Sixers made the splashy signings and the Celtics are coming off a dominant championship season, but with Damian Lillard and Giannis Antetokounmpo back healthy, I think it’s pretty clear that success for the Bucks in Doc Rivers first full season at the helm is getting out of the East. Not many outside Milwaukee will be picking them to do so, but that’s got to be the goal for a team with this much high-end talent.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Return to the Conference Finals
We all know trading Karl-Anthony Towns was in part a financial decision, but if the Wolves want to sell people on it being a good basketball move as well, they need to get back to the Western Conference Finals. This is still a really talented roster and the argument for the Towns trade is that they got deeper with Julius Randle and Donte DiVincenzo. DiVincenzo seems capable of fitting in anywhere, and I think he’ll help their guard rotation tremendously (which was very thin behind Mike Conley and Anthony Edwards). Randle’s fit between Edwards and Rudy Gobert is TBD, especially in the Playoffs where he doesn’t have the best track record, but the talent is certainly in place for a return trip to the third round.
New Orleans Pelicans: Win a playoff series (and find a Brandon Ingram trade)
The Pelicans haven’t won a playoff series since 2017-18. It’s hard to do in the West, but after two trips to the first round (via the Play-In) in the last three years, it’s time for this group to take a step forward around Zion Williamson. They went out and got Dejounte Murray to give them the point guard help they’ve been lacking, but they now have a significant hole at center that has gone unaddressed to this point and a bit of a log-jam on the wing. That could all get solved in a Brandon Ingram trade after not extending him this summer, and might just be a prerequisite for reaching this goal.
New York Knicks: Make the Finals
The Knicks didn’t trade nearly everything for Mikal Bridges and Karl-Anthony Towns just to be in the conversation in the East. Those are moves you make to win a title, and I think anything short of a Finals run will feel like a failure in New York. That, in and of itself, is progress for a team that’s been starved of playoff appearances (much less success) in recent years, but that also means there’s a ton of pressure on this group to stay healthy and capitalize on their talent.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Make the Finals
The Thunder are the favorites in the West after being the 1-seed last year and upgrading their roster in a major way this summer with Alex Caruso and Isaiah Hartenstein. Perhaps they’d be happy with a step forward and a Conference Finals berth. This is still a young team that, as proven last year, has some things to figure out about winning in the playoffs and they are at the front end of their apparent window to compete for a title in the way some of these other teams (especially in the East) are not. However, OKC knows that better than anyone that title windows can close quicker than you think, and they need to capitalize now while they’re as loaded as they are.
Orlando Magic: Win a playoff series
Speaking of young teams still learning how to be contenders, the Magic went seven games in their first round series last year and went out and added Kentavious Caldwell-Pope to upgrade their roster. The challenge is, it seems likely they’ll be facing one of the expected top-4 in the East in the Playoffs. Still, the goal should be to get that first series win under their belts and see Paolo Banchero and Franz Wagner elevate their games to another level to cement themselves as a threat for years to come in the East.
Philadelphia 76ers: Finally make the Conference Finals (then win that)
The Sixers overhauled their roster around Joel Embiid and Tyrese Maxey, most notably adding Paul George to be the third star Tobias Harris couldn’t be. At minimum, they need to go where the Embiid-led Sixers haven’t gone before, which is the Eastern Conference Finals, but like Milwaukee and New York, this team was built with the idea of winning titles. We’ll see how quickly this new group can come together — and, of course, whether Embiid can be healthy in May and June — but their window is now, right along with three other teams in the East which is going to mean a bunch of fan bases will be unhappy this summer.
Phoenix Suns: Stay healthy and get to the Finals
The Suns are in a similar spot to Milwaukee having flamed out of the playoffs early last year, not making a lot of major roster moves this summer, but still clearly having a goal of winning a title. That’s just the reality of expectations when you have Kevin Durant, Devin Booker, and Bradley Beal all making a ton of money. They did bring in some point guard help in the form of Tyus Jones and Monte Morris that should give them some needed depth there, but everything in Phoenix relies on their three stars being healthy and really good.
Portland Trail Blazers: Bad in a respectable way, but also, one that doesn’t take you out of the Cooper Flagg sweepstakes
The Blazers have been chasing lottery balls for three straight years, and I can’t imagine there’s that much patience left in Portland for too many more years at the bottom. That said, this Draft is supposed to be special so I think fans will stomach one more year in the tank to get a chance at Cooper Flagg, Ace Bailey, and the rest. Still, they’ll want to see some improvement and development from their youngsters to build some confidence that, once they add one more top pick, they can start taking steps forward. Scoot Henderson and Shaedon Sharpe, in particular, need to take strides, and Donovan Clingan coming in and being a solid NBA big as a rookie wouldn’t hurt either, especially because that would let them get stuff back for at least one of Robert Williams or Deandre Ayton.
Sacramento Kings: Get back to the Playoffs
Sacramento snapped their playoff drought two years ago as the 3-seed in the West. Last year, they won just two fewer games and finished 9th, losing in the Play-In. Those are the margins in the West these days, and after going out and getting DeMar DeRozan, it’s clear the Kings are pushing to get back into the playoff picture. As they learned last year, being good isn’t good enough in the West, but they certainly have the talent to get one of those 8 playoff spots and that should be the first goal — and then seeing if they can make a little noise once there.
San Antonio Spurs: Victor Wembanyama takes another gigantic, 7’4 step forward
The Spurs should be a good bit better this season than last year, but it’d take a massive leap to even get into the Play-In mix. Everything for the moment is geared around fostering the development of Victor Wembanyama and making sure they’re nurturing what could be an all-time talent. He’s the odds-on favorite for DPOY and is a near-lock for All-Star, and they just need to let him spread his wings and see just how many gears he’s got. Everything in San Antonio is about building around Wemby, with the hope that Devin Vassell and Stephon Castle find their groove alongside him and adding two adults to the roster in Chris Paul and Harrison Barnes to create some more structure and support.
Toronto Raptors: The core pops and Scottie Barnes is in the All-NBA conversation
The race for 10th in the East figures to be wide open so the Raptors could be in the mix there, but it also might not be the worst thing for them to get in on this great Draft and hunt down some lotto balls towards the end. As such, I think success has to be measured in what their few core guys do and seeing them take strides both as a group and individually. They have high hopes for their “BBQ” group of Barnes, Barrett, and Quickley, and while they need to work on their depth in a big way going forward, they’ll want some signs that that trio is the right group to be building around. Most important in that group is Scottie Barnes, who was an All-Star last year, is the centerpiece of what the Raptors are doing, and got a big money extension this offseason. A step forward for him would be to be in the All-NBA conversation as a forward, taking on a bigger scoring load in particular.
Utah Jazz: Cooper Flagg
Yes, the Jazz just extended Lauri Markkanen, but the goal here should be pretty simple. Play the youngsters, see what you have, lose a bunch of games in the process (that’s just what happens when you play young guys), and hope the lottery gods smile in your favor. Let’s see some progress from second year guys Keyonte George and Taylor Hendricks, while getting flashes from their trio of first-round picks from this year. That’d be a successful season, especially if it ends in Cooper Flagg making his way to Utah next June.
Washington Wizards: Get. Those. Lotto. Numbers.
The Wizards are even further away than Utah by virtue of not having a guy the caliber of Markkanen, but the goal is the same. They’re going to give the youngsters the keys and see what sticks. Jordan Poole is going to play point guard apparently. Bilal Coulibaly hopefully takes a step forward. Alex Sarr is going to play a bunch and hopefully by the end of the season he’s having more good games than bad ones. Maybe Corey Kispert takes a stride on the wing after Deni Avdija’s departure. Maybe Kyle Kuzma is really good and they can trade him for some more young talent and picks. Again, let’s see what you’ve got, Wizards, and start figuring out what that foundation looks like in hopes that next year you’re adding one of the top picks to it.
Everyone has a “friend” in their group text or fantasy football league who thinks they’re a hot sauce expert and caddies a bottle of hot sauce with them to restaurants that don’t carry it. Maybe this friend has made their own hot sauce at this point, and if they’ve gone that far, it probably wasn’t even that bad.
In 2024, hot sauce is beyond trendy. For the people who like their food hot, it’s an obsession, but above all else, hot sauce is a great equalizer. It ignores societal boundaries like religion, ethnicity, or cultural differences, offering a simple and addictive pleasure.
But enough talk, here is what we’re getting at — summer is over, that means we’re coming to the kickoff of America’s favorite pastime, NFL football, so you better be eating buffalo wings at some point over the next few months, if not every Sunday. And if you’re going to be watching football, you’re going to be eating wings, and if you’re eating wings, you better have some damn good hot sauce.
So to help guide you to the best of the best, we’re ranking all of our favorite hot sauces. Let’s dive in.
25. Heatonist – First We Feast Presents The Last Dab Experience
When a main ingredient in anything is titled “Pepper X,” you have to pause to consider what exactly that means. Is Pepper X a taste to try or a taste to survive?
The answer quickly reveals itself when no drink, cooling fruit or food can quell the slowly creeping and consuming heat therein. Why would anyone want to consume Pepper X in a larger-than-dab amount seems easy to answer: they obviously do not have self-worth and are willing to sacrifice themselves in the name of hot sauce sampling glory. Writing a review of this hot sauce directly after sampling is no easy feat itself; requirements include a garment to wipe sweat on, a beverage to cool off with and food to hopefully supplant the rising temperatures in your mouth.
Bottom Line:
The only enjoyable part about the Last Dab Hot Ones experience is realizing that eventually, the heat will wear off and hopefully you will live to eat and taste another day. Otherwise, this is purely bragging rights material at 2,693,000 Scoville.
Peppers Up by High Rivers Sauces may not hit you right away on the tongue, but for this sampler the sting on the lips was real and followed by a back of the mouth and gum-buckling warmth. Maybe it’s the apollo peppers, but it’s definitely not the blackberries or blueberries advertised on the bottle that make it feel like I cut my lip open even though there is no actual cut there. Actually, you can taste the berry notes very lightly on the tongue on the initial sampling, but they quickly subside and are overtaken by the aggressive apollo peppers, waiting their turn to kick you in the teeth.
Just make sure you avoid the lips, the burning sensation lasts for a bit if you do not. You’ve been warned!
Bottom Line:
Peppers Up packs serious heat and is only for those looking to up their endorphins and take a schvitz without a sauna anywhere in sight.
Rated a seven of ten on the Heatonist’s scale, you may expect a wallop from La Pimentarie’s Forbidden Fruit, and it does smack right out the gate. The first note is a pure peppery one, which instantly turns to pronounced heat.
Despite the heat, this sauce could be in the dictionary next to the word “piquant”, which coincidentally or not, is also scripted out on the bottle “sauces piquantes”, no kidding! Not only that, but there are more varietals of peppers listed on this bottle’s ingredients than any other we tried; red long peppers, red habanero peppers, red Japaneño peppers, chocolate habanero peppers, bhut jolokia peppers, Trinidad scorpion peppers – all in one. Let’s just say the heat does not go away quickly and may require a sweatband or kitchen towel to wipe off before the next dose.
Bottom Line:
Do you want to enjoy your hot sauce or are you the sort that just enjoys pain, even when food is something you should get joy from? La Pimenterie isn’t really at THAT level, but it’s probably just a notch below, so enjoy but also take heed.
Call it tolerance, or call it acclimation, but the initial bite of Da Bomb Evolution and the lasting aftertaste are the most painful and enduring parts of this hot sauce. Though mint, lemon juice, cane sugar and the other foundational ingredients of most hot sauces are listed on the bottle, it’s those peppers you will taste through and through. This is another one of those seriously spicy hot sauces that is measured at 135,000 Scovilles and eight of ten by Heatonist – tread lightly friends.
Bottom Line:
Though rumored to be less devastating than the original Da Bomb, the Evolution version still packs serious heat and can be counted on if you’re looking for a hot sauce cleanse, assuming that is actually a thing.
21. Black Eyed Susan Spice Co. – Red Flag Hot Sauce
Red Flag sauce by Black Eyed Susan hits you with a fiery zip right off the bat, and though raspberries, muscadine grape juice and cranberries are listed on the bottle as ingredients, it’s the Trinidad scorpion peppers and mash that equate to almost instantaneous perspiration. On wings or other proteins, you mostly just taste the peppery heat and if that’s your thing, then Red Flag Hot Sauce may be your new go to. For the rest of us that enjoy eating and tasting their food you will equally identify with the Red Flag part of the branding and put this back into the pantry for your houseguests that are spice adventurers or new enemies that just happened to knock on your door looking for some zing in their lives.
Bottom Line:
Red Flag may have you waving the white flag, especially if you tend to douse your wings in sauce.
They may call it “Kickin’ Barbecue” but if you’re someone who orders wings all the time, you know this better as Buffalo BBQ and probably have gotten it accidentally a few times at wing joints where it’s standard. Buffalo BBQ is not what you want when you’re expecting the original but it sometimes serves as a disappointingly passable backup option. It’s easy to feel that way about Sweet Baby Ray’s version, as SBR is known for great BBQ sauce and their Kickin’ Barbecue has that classic base with the same peppery and vinegary elements of all of their other hot sauces. It tastes great, it’s only a smidge hot, but it’s more for BBQ or a buffalo/hot sauce reprieve than the real deal.
Bottom Line:
Kickin’ Barbecue only boasts one out of five SBR peppers so instead of being labeled hot sauce, let’s call it spiced bbq sauce. It’s still good, just won’t be replacing your favorite hot sauce any time soon.
Aptly titled, the Smoked Chipotle version of Sweet Baby Ray’s hot sauce has all the same components as the Original (pepper, vinegar, salt, garlic) but adds a smoked chipotle flavor, which bears resemblance in taste to some salsas. The two out of five on the heat scale means the spice is slightly tamer than its Original cousin and the aftertaste is more smoke than heat.
Though sugar is listed as an ingredient, this is not a sweet heat situation – the sugar is not even on the radar. This is a smokey chipotle deal, and if that’s your flavor you’ll be satisfied but for those of us seeking spice and traditional hot sauce flavor, this is more of an alternative than main squeeze.
Bottom Line:
Though this could work on wings, Smokey Chipotle may be even better served on food that typically asks for smokey flavoring like BBQ or Mexican foods.
At Uproxx, we love when celebrities step outside of their zone and indulge in their passions, especially in the food space – the results can be authentic, zany, and fun – not always just shills for buku buckos. Poirier’s (made by UFC extraordinaire Dustin Poirier) Creole Maple Hot Sauce has big flavor – the initial sweetness of the maple syrup gives a taste reminiscent of Memphis BBQ that follows with a cayenne heat supplying an aftertaste of smokey heat vaguely reminiscent of personal childhood favorite Slim Jims. That may seem like a backhanded compliment, but it’s not and the herbaceousness of the sage, thyme, and rosemary really rounds out the aftertaste as well, so it’s not purely heat and pepper you are left with.
Bottom Line:
Dustin Poirier is no slouch when it comes to his career outside the octagon, his Creole Maple Hot Sauce has real heat and flavor, something that would go as well on bbq brisket as it does on wings. For someone who may have taken some punches to reach his success, Poirier is certainly punching back with his hot sauce line.
Packed with more ingredients than many of the more commercial brands, Disha Hot is a contribution to our rankings from musician Omar Apollo and a recipe passed down through his lineage of culinarians (including family in Guadalajara that owned a popular taco destination). Jalapeno, Habanero and roasted Chile de Arbol along with lime and chia seeds create a nuanced flavor profile that is more Mexican condiment than buffalo wing sauce, but equally tasty. Disha Hot is perfect for burritos, tacos, the current birria craze and anything else that falls under that flavor profile umbrella.
Bottom Line:
A non-traditional American hot sauce alternative, Omar Apollo’s Disha Hot satisfies spice palettes of all backgrounds with its medium heat but doesn’t replace the more traditional garlicky nuclear orange-colored hot sauce you find in most bar food restaurant pantries these days.
Talk about depth of flavor! Senor Lechuga’s .718 hot sauce features ghost peppers, bell peppers, pasilla peppers, guayillo peppers, black lime, himalayan sea salt and royal cinnamon as ingredients. The start and finish of this one both speak fuego, Heatonist gives Senor Lechuga a six on the scale and this was also a featured sauce on Hot Ones season 16, so it bears that prestigious stamp. Flavor-wise, you’ll register the tart citrus note immediately as different from many other entries here, and then there is a hint of sweet spice from the cinnamon and a lingering mouth heat and cheek warmth from the smoldering ghost peppers. Get your blue cheese and ranch ready for this one, a cold drink wouldn’t hurt either.
Bottom Line:
.718 is the type of hot sauce you need to warn your friends about before they sample, it has legit creeper heat and body temperature raising potential – but also sophisticated dynamic flavor that could really elevate the right dish (and your endorphins).
Another green entry in the rankings and this time coming less from green hot peppers and more from collard greens. The first note that hits Chef Sam Davis-Allonce’s creation is the full-on sweetness of the brown sugar, which quickly subsides with the bitterness of the greens and after-heat from the ghost pepper. You may want more, but you also may hesitate and need a frosty beverage, as the ghost peppers pack certifiable heat. You won’t be able to deny that you’ve never had a hot sauce that tasted like this before and you won’t soon forget it.
Bottom Line:
Collards N Ghosts is a unique flavor punch that could pair well with many plainly flavored foods, creating a balanced dynamic with the complexity of the hot sauce. Bring your tums for this spooky sauce.
Not an everyday kind of hot sauce due to the curry-forward flavor and slight aftertaste, La Pimenterie’s Curry Verde is still a welcome addition to any hot sauce collector’s pantry with its unique and sophisticated flavor profile. Ingredients in this concoction include green long peppers, green Hungarian hot peppers, green Habanero, Thaï, green ghost, zucchini, coconut milk, cider vinegar, eggplants, shallots, maple syrup, lime
juice, coconut, galangal, lemongrass – creating a Thai-inspired mixture that is only lightly spicy, and also lightly refreshing for a hot sauce. Suitable to many different types of proteins and savory dishes, the Curry Verde is a sure winner for Thai-style meals, dumplings, rice dishes, etc.
Bottom Line:
A standpoint from the La Pimenterie sauces that were sampled, the Curry Verde variety is money like the other Curry family’s three point shot.
13. Butterfly Bakery of Vermont – Maple Wood Smoked Onion Hot Sauce
The smoked onion note on this sauce has a sweet peak that crests with an earthier onion aftertaste. The backend mellows despite a lingering jalapeno heat that canvasses the mouth. The signature garlic note of traditional buffalo-style hot sauce is missing here but otherwise this collaboration with local Vermont businesses Full Moon Farms (where they source the amazing onions) and Familia Farm (where they get the red jalapenos) offers a full flavor experience that would likely complement a plethora of savory dishes and snacks.
Bottom Line:
Regardless of its traditional flavor profile, Butterfly Bakery of Vermont pulls off a victory with its pairing of smoked sweet onion and red jalapeno in a tasty and versatile hot sauce.
Though rated a five out of ten, we’re not getting extreme heat from Fat Cat Gourmet’s Chairman Meow’s Revenge, another Hot Ones entry in our sampling marathon. Some of the more heightened flavors are the tangy vinegary taste you get on the front end, with the heat of the scorpion pepper mash creeping in on the backend after you have a few tastes. A little wet and thin overall, this sauce could go well with chicken, pork chops or other grilled meats, though it is not incredibly flavorful.
Bottom Line:
Chairman Meow’s Revenge is a solid entry into our rankings and was selected by Hot Ones for a reason, though we found it to be palatable, it was not as distinguishable as many others we sampled despite surely still being a quality product.
#2 on Hot Ones’ ’24 line up, Seeing Double by Double Comfort is not spicy enough to make you feel like you just listened to a Foreigner song, instead it hits the smoky notes of a dark salsa and is fairly vinegar forward. There is no garlic here to balance out the vinegar, instead employing ingredients like lemon extract to create some acidity and a variety of peppers though there is not an abundant heat level here (Heatonist lists two out of ten on the heat scale).
Bottom Line:
Despite the lack of garlic, this is still a great option for all sorts of meats, wings included, and anything else you may drizzle hot sauce on.
10. Hot Ones the Classic Hot Sauce – Garlic Fresno by Heatonist
A Heatonist and Hot Ones internal creation, their Garlic Fresno varietal is a tangy twist on the typical flavors in standard hot sauce offerings – instead of white vinegar, there is sweet-ish funky note from apple cider vinegar on the initial taste, garlic puree that provides a slight textural grittiness followed by a tangy peppery and garlicky aftertaste from the Fresnos. This entry is not only one from the Hot Ones 24’ set we sampled as part of these overall rankings but also one specifically co-signed and formulated by the fine folks at Hot Ones themselves.
No surprise, it pairs extremely well with wings, even though it’s bit more thin and wet in texture than a lot of others we sampled.
Bottom Line:
Garlic Fresno by Heatonist and Hot Ones almost hits a sweet chili note, the way the Fresnos and apple cider vinegar meld and mix, the aftertaste has some traces of the soul of Thai chili sauce. This particular sauce is a mix of simple and sophisticated, and a success at that. Expect a sauce that’s a bit sweeter and tangier than a traditional hot sauce.
Il Mig Onima is listed as a six out of ten on the Heatonist heat scale and is coincidentally #6 in the Hot Ones ’24 set as well, but the heat developed here is one that cannot be quelled easily or quickly, even with frozen dessert aide on deck. You may have sweat coming out the top of your nose after just a slather of this one, but the flavor is too dynamic and interesting to ignore despite the immediate discomfort. It’s the sherry vinegar, rice koji and habanero pepper puree that gives this special sauce a decadent richness and resulting schvitz that are both welcome, delicious and dare we say therapeutic. The only issue is the heat spice may stunt you in your tracks even though your brain says “more Onima, please.”
Bottom Line:
Onima is great on a lot of things if you can handle the temperature and resulting sweats. Bring something cool or cold to accompany your sampling.
8. Butterfly Bakery of Vermont – Ooh La La – A Guster Hot Sauce
Oddly the only different ingredient between Butterfly Bakery of Vermont’s Maple Wood Smoked Onion Hot Sauce and Ooh La La sauce is butternut squash. The two sauces are almost identical in their composition from an ingredient standpoint, but it’s difficult to process and believe that’s the only difference. The Ooh La La Guster sauce tastes much more like a stereotypical traditional hot sauce with its garlicky note (though no garlic noted on the label), begging the question of whether there might be different proportions of the similar ingredients between the two sauces. Could it be the butternut squash, or is that a color additive? Either way, this Guster version is just slightly tastier than its Maple Wood Smoked Onion.
Bottom Line:
Butterfly Bakery of Vermont makes some legit hot sauces, which is unlike any bakery we’ve ever visited. Between this special edition Guster version and their Maple Wood Smoked Onion sauce alone there is a lot to love.
You’d be hard pressed to find a better basic hot sauce than Sweet Baby Ray’s – it has all of the essential elements – peppery heat, vinegary acidity and that salty garlic note that barely registers since it’s so expected. SBR’s gives itself a three out of five on the heat scale and accounts for the heat with aged cayenne, which has very little residual heat on the backend besides a little tingly warmth on the roof of your mouth.
Bottom Line:
Easy come, easy go, Sweet Baby Ray’s Original can come to any meal where hot sauce would up the ante.
Can titling a kimchi-flavored hot sauce “Fermented Kimchi” be considered redundant? These are the type of deeply profound questions we ask at Uproxx after trying 25 hot sauces. Semantics aside, Mark’s Hot Sauce has a winner with their Fermented Kimchi entry into these voluminous rankings. Factoring in the garlic, soy sauce, kimchi, thai chili peppers, and fresh ginger, you have a lot of fundamental Asian ingredients in play here and the result is a sauce that goes grandly on wings, and probably could be great for dumplings, congee and pho, as much. A three out of ten on Heatonist’s meter, you can drag your ribs, wings, veggies, etc through this one with reckless abandon.
Bottom Line:
Mark’s Hot Sauce is #3 on 24’ Hot Ones hierarchy and lightly spiced experience enables a broader application of consumption when it’s time to add some new options in your heat arsenal.
Seed Ranch Flavor Co’s Truffle Fire is a flavor bomb, point blank. Starting with a sweet note likely from the crushed tomatoes, dates, carrots, olive oil and chickpea miso, followed by a strong but earthy truffle note that proceeds and washes over your palette. The finish is mainly peppery and hot on the backend with the combination of ghost pepper, Carolina Reaper pepper, and chile de árbol, along with the smoky spice of paprika. Your lips may tingle and your forehead may bead, but you won’t be deterred from sampling a few more times just to take in all of the truffley goodness therein. Although rated a four of ten, it could be the cumulative heat of hot sauces sampled previous or that the current heat is a bit underrated causing sweat to populate the brow, temples, and upper lip areas simultaneously. Bring a coolant.
Bottom Line:
Truffle Fire is about as decadent as hot sauce can get, Seed Ranch Flavor Co does not employ the ubiquitous truffle oil you find on many a french fry in 2024, instead they utilize summer truffle and truffle juice to impart and inject real truffle flavor into a very unique and delicious sauce that also dials up the heat.
That Louisiana favorite, Crystal is one of those reliable taste and time-tested hot sauces that has been around for 100 years for a reason, it toes the line of hot sauce perfection. Though lacking garlic, Crystal does it simply by combining in ideal proportion aged red cayenne peppers, distilled vinegar and salt. The result is a sauce that is more zing and tang, than ghost peppers and shmatas to sop up the inevitable sweat from the heat. Though more of a plebeian pleasure, Crystal doesn’t need to ratchet up the Scovilles to turn heads, the perfectly balanced flavor is all you need.
Bottom Line:
It doesn’t take unique or unusual peppers or ingredients to make a hot sauce delicious, flavorful or memorable. Crystal’s hot sauce only has 3 ingredients but calibrates them well enough to make something simple also sensational.
The best Heatonist x Hot Ones creation we tried — despite it’s lower Scoville measurements and four out of ten on the heat scale — is the sweet heat of the Barbacoa Los Calientes. Its sweetness of apricot, apple juice and agave nectar flavors combined with the traditional spicy pepper, garlic and vinegar notes, makes putting it on everything almost irresistible. Tacos, ribs, wings, nachos, burgers are all fair game here, to name a few food groups we all care about. Not much else needs to be said about Los Calientes Barbacoa besides that it’s expertly crafted.
Bottom Line:
Get your own and let us know. Los Calientes Barbacoa may be sweeter than most hot sauces but we were hooked anyway.
For us hot sauce amateurs, there is always the comfortable feeling of knowing that supermarket staples like Frank’s exist when there are a befuddling amount of hot sauce varieties at a store. Frank’s is like that hug waiting for you on the hot sauce aisle, you know what to expect – typical vinegary, peppery hot sauce from your basic cayenne peppers, garlicky notes on the back end and a richness from the buttery element. It’s very typical but hits all the right rhythms, notes, and melodies when it comes to a hot sauce you actually want to eat and not just survive.
Bottom Line:
Frank’s Buffalo Sauce is the real deal for the less adventurous hot sauce consumers, streamlining all of the sophisticated ingredients and tactics into the bare bones hot sauce experience that is really all anyone needs to get the full flavor dynamic.
Though boasting the same exact ingredients (they’re ordered differently but otherwise identical) as Sweet Baby Ray’s Original version, the Spicy Garlic tastes even better, especially if you like hot sauce that is a bit more garlic-forward. Who doesn’t? The garlic is really what rounds out the body and dynamic of the hot sauce – not making it just about peppery spice and vinegary astringency. This is what you want on your wings, achieving the true pure “buffalo” taste you know and crave. And sure, other foods too.
Bottom Line:
Sweet Baby Ray’s has not reinvented anything or even innovated, they’re taking the best elements of buffalo-style hot sauce flavor and have honed in on what makes the taste delicious. Apparently, garlic has a big role, so we will accordingly give a standing ovation.
Keeping up with new music can be exhausting, even impossible. From the weekly album releases to standalone singles dropping on a daily basis, the amount of music is so vast it’s easy for something to slip through the cracks. Even following along with the Uproxx recommendations on a daily basis can be a lot to ask, so every Monday we’re offering up this rundown of the best new music this week.
This week saw Charli XCX expand the Brat-iverse and GloRilla launch her album journey. Yeah, it was a great week for new music. Check out the highlights below.
Charli XCX — “Sympathy Is A Knife” Feat. Ariana Grande
Brat has been perhaps the most culture-moving album of 2024, and Charli XCX kept the party going last week with Brat And It’s Completely Different But Also Still Brat. Among the many remixes on the stacked project is a re-worked version of “Sympathy Is A Knife,” now co-starring Ariana Grande.
GloRilla — “Whatchu Know About Me” Feat. Sexyy Red
Glo and Sexyy are two of rap’s biggest talents to emerge over the past few years, and now they’ve joined forces on “Whatchu Know About Me.” The track comes from GloRilla’s just-released debut album Glorious, which also features collabs with folks like Megan Thee Stallion.
Pharrell — “Virginia Boy (Remix)” Feat. Tyler The Creator
The soundtrack for Pharrell’s Piece By Piece LEGO-style biopic is largely a compilation of songs you’ve heard hundreds of times before. But, there are some original cuts here, too, like the quick but sharp “Virginia Boy (Remix)” alongside Tyler The Creator.
Tyla — “Push 2 Start”
Tyla dropped her “Water”-powered, self-titled breakout album earlier this year, but she just revived it to wrap up the year with a deluxe edition. The expanded LP adds three new songs, including the smooth “Push 2 Start.”
Cordae — “Mad As F*ck”
Cordae has become one of rap’s most esteemed figures in recent years, but fame has its drawbacks. Cordae reflects on that topic on his latest, “Mad As F*ck,” which sees him addressing everything from luxury to fake friends.
Jennie — “Mantra”
Rosé and Lisa had big solo news this month, and now it’s Jennie’s turn to do something outside of the Blackpink camp. In her case, it’s the new single “Mantra,” which arrived alongside a Rush Hour-inspired video.
Lil Durk — “Late Checkout” Feat. Hunxho
Durk recently announced Deep Thoughts, a new album to follow his 2023 LP Almost Healed. We’ve heard a couple tastes of it so far, including last week’s “Late Checkout,” a Hunxho-featuring number on which the two express their infatuation for a special someone.
Halsey — “I Never Loved You”
We’re less than two weeks away from Halsey’s next album, The Great Impersonator. She has so far teased an intensely personal LP, and that’s further proved on her vulnerable single from last week, “I Never Loved You.”
Maggie Rogers — “In The Living Room”
We got Don’t Forget Me from Rogers earlier this year, and now she just launched an arena tour last week. To celebrate the occasion, she dropped a new single, the evocative “In The Living Room.”
The Linda Lindas — “Nothing Would Change”
When The Linda Lindas had time “during spring breaks, winter breaks, and long weekends,” as the young band previously put it, they busted out their new album, No Obligation. The project continues to show the literal children (besides 20-year-old Bela Salazar) are already better at most when it comes to catchy punk rock, as “Nothing Would Change” illustrates.
That said, the category of affordable bourbon is in an odd space with delicious bottles over $30 swelling while the sub-$20 range is slowly shrinking. Let’s state it plainly: finding great, cheap bourbon is getting harder and harder. That’s precisely why we put together this list for you this Bourbon Heritage Month so you can explore the absolute best-tasting bourbons without breaking the bank.
Most of these bottles are readily available in pretty much any liquor store in the country, and though their prices will vary depending on where you’re located, you can also reliably expect to pay right around $20 for each of them. Best of all? Each and every one of them is delicious and will leave you pleased with the quality-to-cost calculus.
Are we all set?
Here are the absolute best-tasting bourbons under $20, ranked for 2024!
While it features a spruce label, in line with the rest of Old Forester’s packaging, Old Forester 86-proof has a history that dates back to 1959 when consumers were thirsty for a lighter style of whiskey, well-suited for inclusion in cocktails.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose has a bit of graham cracker, youthful oak, and cocktail cherries, with the volume of each aroma turned down. The overall impression is light and approachable.
Palate: On the palate, all of the nosing notes come alive with a bit more vibrancy and are joined by a vanilla splash. With regards to the mouthfeel, this is a thin whiskey. Still, the texture isn’t overly watery or unpleasant, as it’s just substantive enough for the flavors to develop before washing out and transitioning to the finish.
Finish: On the finish, there’s a bit of oak, honey, and bright red cherry, but it’s quite brief so you’ll find yourself reaching for a second sip rather than savoring your first.
Bottom Line:
There are outlines of a really flavorful bourbon here, so it’s easy to see why Old Forester originally introduced this expression in the late 1950s to ingratiate themselves with the growing cocktail culture. However, if you’re looking for a neat-sipper, this bourbon will do the trick in a pinch, thanks to its assortment of easy-going flavors.
Four Roses Bourbon, the oft-overlooked entry-level offering from Four Roses features a blend of all ten recipes that the distillery is famous for. Little known fact: Four Roses regularly utilizes slightly older bourbon in these blends, which is part of the reason they eschew an age statement. It’s also part of the reason that this remarkably consistent expression is so damn good.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose on Four Roses Bourbon begins with a touch of honeysuckle, the floral aspect of rosewater, and stone fruits like white peach and Golden Delicious apples.
Palate: On the palate, this whiskey is surprisingly spry, as the lean mouthfeel allows notes of black tea, white peach, and honey to coast over your tongue. A touch of vanilla and black pepper spice can be found as each sip transitions from midpalate to the finish, which adds a bit of nuance to the generally light flavor profile.
Finish: On the finish is where the sweet notes make their final stamp, with honey and vanilla leading the way as this pour succinctly falls off the palate.
Bottom Line:
Four Roses Bourbon is one of the best easy-going bourbons that money can buy, and it’s one I regularly keep on hand for the hotter summer months. While it’s a fairly straightforward whiskey when enjoyed neat, follow this tip for summer sipping: pop it in the freezer and pour heartily when you need a refreshing drink that’s a tad bit stronger than water.
Fighting Cock Bourbon was formerly a formidable bottom-shelf offering that sported a 6-year age statement and proudly flew under the radar. These days, the expression is produced sans an age statement from a mash bill of 75% corn, 12% rye, and 13% malted barley. Fun fact: it’s said that this bourbon was created as a direct competitor to Wild Turkey 101, thus the fowl name and atypical proof point.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: Fighting Cock bourbon kicks things off with a bit of baking spice, with nutmeg and black pepper powder hitting the nose at first before some dilute honey and peanut shells come wafting out of the glass.
Palate: Once on the palate, the initial impression of the nosing notes is reversed, with the flavor of peanuts leading the way while some washed-out caramel and vanilla extract follow closely behind before the gentle baking spice notes arrive. The mouthfeel is disappointingly thin, which serves as a disservice to the limited layers of flavor, but the flavors themselves are simple but harmonious.
Finish: The finish closes with black pepper and the addition of nutmeg, along with a sweet honey kiss, before it fades away with short-to-medium length.
Bottom Line:
While “kickin’ chicken’s” branding might be all about emulation, the whiskey itself is a simple yet fairly unique bottom-shelf offering. What Fighting Cock lacks in complexity, it makes up for with a nutty, crowd-pleasing flavor profile that brings enough heat to make it a standout.
Very Old Barton comes from the Barton 1792 Distillery and features expressions at 80, 86, 90, and 100 proof. Their 100-proof offering, the best of the bunch, has limited distribution in Kentucky and surrounding states.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: On the nose, this bourbon has banana bread, faint ripe cherry notes, butterscotch, and corn pudding. It’s a light, sweet, and harmonious blend of aromas that simply works.
Palate: Once you sip this bourbon, you’ll observe the aroma notes translating to the palate, with semi-sweet banana bread and butterscotch taking the fore while toasted corn and youthful oak round things out. The texture is unremarkable, but for a $20 bourbon, that’s to be expected, and it isn’t a bad thing.
Finish: The finish is succinct, with a bit of nuttiness joining the ripe cherries found on the nose, along with a touch of black pepper spice.
Bottom Line:
Very Old Barton’s 100-proof offering features an unassuming label that does little to distinguish among its various proof points, but for those who know, this top-of-the-line expression is fantastic bottom-shelf bourbon.
J.T.S. Brown is named after John Thompson Street Brown, who founded the wholesale liquor company that would become Brown-Forman. It is currently offered at 80 and 100 proof, though it also featured an 86-proof version until at least the late 1980s.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose on this whiskey has a flourish of butterscotch and clove that make it stand out from the rest of Heaven Hill’s budget bottled-in-bond offerings. A touch of lemon zest and peanut butter are also evident.
Palate: On the palate, the butterscotch and peanut butter are out in full force, along with some vanilla cream, sweet oak, and white pepper. The flavors are impressively balanced, and despite this whiskey’s restrained mouthfeel, they appear to be well-defined on the palate.
Finish: The medium-length finish again highlights the fusion of peanut butter and vanilla with a gentle white pepper send-off.
Bottom Line:
It’s a crowded bunch when it comes to Heaven Hill’s bottom-shelf bottled-in-bond expressions, but J.T.S. Brown reliably outperforms the majority of them thanks to its well-managed balance and surprisingly stout depth of flavor. Like many of Heaven Hill’s most affordable options, it won’t wow you with its complexity but rather with its consistently great quality for an equally great price.
Benchmark’s Bonded expression is yet another bottle in the revamped Benchmark lineup, which received a facelift and a line expansion in early 2023. For this Bonded offering, Benchmark follows the Bottled in Bond regulations, meaning that, among other things, this bourbon comes from a single distilling season and is bottled at 100 proof.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose on Benchmark Bonded has four distinct aromas: nutmeg, caramel, oak, and brown sugar. There are gradations to those aromas, with the nutmeg coming across as less-than-fresh, while the caramel and oak are more lively next to the subdued brown sugar note.
Palate: Once you take a sip of Benchmark Bonded, you’ll find that the nosing notes perfectly indicate what to expect. Again, those four distinct notes come through, and though they’re joined by a bit of black pepper and cereal notes, it’s the nutmeg, caramel, oak (with the addition of barrel char), and brown sugar that steal the show flavor-wise. The texture is stout, allowing the liquid to occupy the entire palate before ceding the reins to the finish.
Finish: On the finish, there’s more brown sugar, black pepper, and even a bit of mocha on each sip. The finish hangs around for a medium length, befitting its proof point, and offers a balanced climax to an overall very balanced bourbon.
Bottom Line:
As the sole bottled in bond expression in the Buffalo Trace portfolio outside of the E.H. Taylor lineup, this solid budget bottle exhibits the quality standard one can expect from the Buffalo Trace Distillery. For less than $20, you can find two different expressions from the Benchmark brand, but this is the one you should grab.
Old Bardstown Bottled in Bond Bourbon is one of those IYKYK expressions from the Willett Distillery. It is sold exclusively in Kentucky on the bottom shelf of liquor stores. This bottled-in-bond offering is not to be confused with the 101-proof small-batch variant available nationwide.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: It begins with a really round butterscotch note with some intriguing menthol and tobacco leaf aromas that make you dig deeper in the glass to uncover additional layers of Brooks cherries, pecans, and vanilla extract.
Palate: Old Bardstown Bottled in Bond Bourbon is dense and full-bodied on the palate despite the proof, and it opens with sticky toffee and Brooks cherries while a touch of the menthol from the nose streaks up the middle of the tongue and introduces some dark chocolate at midpalate.
Finish: The moderate finish sees the blossoming of dark chocolate flavor with some fresh hazelnuts, caramel, and white pepper notes rounding things off.
Bottom Line:
This unassuming bottle packs a real wallop with a substantive mouthfeel and a dark, rich flavor profile that will have you double-checking your receipt to be sure you didn’t steal this bottle at roughly $20 USD. Rest assured, your receipt is right; hell, all is right with this bourbon in your glass.
Evan Williams Bottled in Bond is often named as one of if not the best bourbon under $20. Aged for at least four years, per the Bottled in Bond regulations, this 100-proof bourbon is almost as readily found around the country as Evan Williams “black label.”
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nosing notes open with honey, lemon zest, and a distinct peanut note on this bourbon. From there, the periphery aromas are faint — a touch of brown butter, apricots, and cumin, but otherwise nondescript.
Palate: In the mouth, those initial three notes make the most substantial impression, along with a piquant texture that slightly prickles the tongue and adds a bit of pop to the citrus flavors in the liquid. One thing I love about this whiskey is how balanced its flavors are, with none of them speaking over the others.
Finish: On the finish, you’ll find some black pepper spice and youthful oak that curtail the peanut and lemon zest flavors. The finish is short-to-medium, giving just enough room to make a satisfying impression on the palate before encouraging repeat sips.
Bottom Line:
Evan Williams’ Bottled in Bond Expression is a masterclass in delivering a high-quality, no-frills bourbon. At 100-proof, it can stand tall in cocktails, bringing an abundance of flavor to classics like an Old-Fashioned, but it has just enough depth to perform well on its own—making for a delicious, cost-friendly, everyday sipper.
Look, Jim Beam and affordable bourbon go together like America and apple pie. For this expression, they take their classic Jim Beam bourbon mash bill and make it available at a much higher 108-proof in single barrel form.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: On the nose, you get some of the characteristic nuttiness that Beam is known for, an enticing blend of hazelnut and peanut shell, while a bit of chocolate, oak, and mocha adds depth to the overall profile. There’s also plenty of caramel and a touch of clove rounding this one out.
Palate: With one sip, you can appreciate the classic Jim Beam profile in this bourbon. On the palate, it has that Cracker Jack box assortment of flavors from caramel corn to honey-roasted peanuts with a touch of graininess, graham cracker, and oak. The texture is a significant step up from both Jim Beam’s white and black labels, with a bit more oiliness, which makes this bourbon a pleasure to chew for a while.
Finish: The finish has a surprising touch of anise with black pepper, barrel char, and gobs of more gooey caramel waiting for you.
Bottom Line:
Considering its proof and overall quality, it should come as no surprise that Jim Beam Single Barrel Bourbon is one of the best value bottles in American whiskey. This seriously underrated pour combines the best elements of Jim Beam’s prolific bourbon with a budget-friendly bottle that you’ll want to buy again and again.
Wild Turkey 101 Bourbon is not only the most classic expression in the brand’s lineup, it’s one of the most iconic bourbons in America. Wild Turkey’s signature 101-proof designation was first formulated in the 1940s by Austin, Nichols & Co. executive Thomas McCarthy and it’s been a benchmark for high-quality, budget-friendly bourbon ever since.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose on this whiskey encapsulates what Wild Turkey is all about. There’s a lovely dusting of baking spices like nutmeg, cinnamon, and clove resting atop stone fruits like stewed red apples, bruised peaches, and a faint dose of caramel and oak.
Palate: On the palate, Wild Turkey 101 Bourbon offers a familiar range of flavors, from apple chips, cinnamon bark, and oak to vanilla extract, nutmeg, and clove. The mouthfeel is intriguing, maintaining enough grip on the palate to heighten the impact of the various baking spices but enough give for the fruit-forward flavors to strut their stuff.
Finish: The finish is where black pepper flares up, along with a more forceful impression of the oak and clove notes. It’s a short-to-medium finish that pairs well with the flavor profile, giving the impression that this blend is perfectly proofed.
Bottom Line:
Wild Turkey 101 might conjure memories of crazy college nights for some people, but serious connoisseurs know that even with its rowdy reputation, this is one of the best-kept secrets in bourbon. With a robust, spice-heavy profile, Wild Turkey 101 is bold enough to liven up any party while offering the depth of flavor that makes it great to savor at length in quiet contemplation, too.
In June, Kanye West’s former assistant, Lauren Pisciotta, sued the producer for breach of contract, creating a hostile work environment, sexual harassment, and wrongful termination. While Kanye expressed plans to countersue Pisciotta, saying she was trying to blackmail West, the former assistant has since amended her lawsuit to now include even more serious claims against Kanye. According to Rolling Stone, Pisciotta’s updated complaint now includes claims that West also drugged and sexually assaulted her at a music studio in Santa Monica hosted by another musician being accused of sexual misconduct, Sean “Diddy” Combs.
Pisciotta claims that drinks were served during the studio session, with a mandate that all in attendance must drink to remain at the studio. She says that after sipping her drink, she became “disoriented,” and does not have any memory of anything that happened until she woke up the next day. She later learned of the alleged assault when told by West they’d “hooked up” at the session, and after informing him she didn’t remember, said West laughed and replied, “Women love to say they don’t remember.”
In Pisciotta’s initial suit, she claimed that West promised to pay her a $1 million per year for her assistant gig, but only if she deleted her OnlyFans account. After she complied, he began sending vulgar texts, including sexual videos and pictures. She says she was promised a $3 million severance when she was fired in 2022, but that she never received it.
In the world of cinema — bear with me for a second — the best movies always come out at the end of the year. From October to December, the silver screen is hit with “serious” films, Oscar-bait, and artistic statements. It’s a season that belongs less to blockbusters and more to the auteurs. In 2024, fast food is doing the same thing, only instead of giving us great films, fast food is giving us what we all truly want: more chicken sandwiches (though we wouldn’t be surprised if we one day get a film about chicken sandwiches, stranger things have happened).
It’s no secret that this decade is all about the chicken sandwich. We’ve turned our back on the mighty beef patty and opened our hearts — our, you know, mouths — to fried fillets of chicken breast.
This year, we’ve already ranked 25 different chicken sandwiches. So what are we to do when this month we’re hit with not one, not two, but three brand new chicken sandwiches? Put ‘em to the mighty blind taste test to see which is most worth your money, of course!
Methodology
For this blind taste test, we’ve rounded up all the newest chicken sandwiches, including the McDonald’s Chicken Big Mac, the Popeyes Ghost Pepper Chicken Sandwich, and the Burger King Fiery Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich. Luckily, I live in close proximity to all three restaurants, so I can scoop up each sandwich quickly, allowing me to eat each sandwich while they are still hot and fresh. I’d say that makes for a fair-blind taste test.
After I picked up all three sandwiches, I returned home, took photos of each, and had my girlfriend shuffle them up and serve each one to me at random while I wore a blindfold. I took exactly three bites of each, recorded my initial impressions, and ranked each from worst to best.
Here are the results.
Part 1: The Blind Chicken Sandwich Taste Test
Taste 1:
Dane Rivera
Right off the bat, I’m getting an intense surge of cayenne pepper heat. It’s nice and spicy and kicks the salivary glands into action. The tomatoes and lettuce provide a bit of reprieve from the heat, but the finish is still pretty spicy, and the heat intensifies between bites. The chicken has a crispy and airy breading, and the meat is tender but a bit bland outside of all the spice.
Taste 2:
Dane Rivera
With just one bite, I can already tell there is so much wrong with this chicken sandwich. It’s bland, the meat is spongey and heavily processed, and its way too bready. I’m going to guess this is the Chicken Big Mac because I can taste so much bread that I can’t imagine this being any of the other sandwiches.
While I don’t like the taste of the chicken, the breading is nice, airy, and very crispy. It provides a nice audible crunch but I can’t seem myself returning to this one. I begrudgingly took a few more bites to see if the flavor would grow on me. It didn’t.
Taste 3:
Dane Rivera
After a big, pleasing crunch, I’m getting juicy and tender chicken gently seasoned with a mix of garlic, onion, and spices, with a slightly fruity, buttery finish. The sauce used here helps to accentuate and elevate the wonderful seasoning blend. Here is what I love about this sandwich: it feels like the chicken is the star and that’s the sign of a great chicken sandwich.
Part 2: The Blind Chicken Sandwich Ranking
3. McDonald’s — Chicken Big Mac
Dane Rivera
McDonald’s still hasn’t perfected the chicken sandwich. It’s the McDonald’s menu’s one true weak point. I love a chicken nugget as much as the next person, but I don’t need one in sandwich form, and this sandwich comes across like that.
It’s too heavily processed, too bland in flavor, and has way too much bread. If McDonald’s truly wants to be a contender in the chicken sandwich wars, it’s going to need to raise the quality of its chicken filet to be a true contender.
The Bottom Line:
If you already like chicken sandwiches from McDonald’s, this might be worth experiencing, but if you don’t, this won’t win you over.
2. Burger King — Fiery Royal Chicken Sandwich
Dane Rivera
I’m really surprised by this one! Burger King’s “fiery” blend of spices is unique and really delivers on the heat. It doesn’t come close to being as good as our top pick from this blind taste test, but it’s easily the best chicken sandwich Burger King has dropped since the beloved but discontinued Ch’King.
I’m interested in trying the bacon and Swiss cheese version of this sandwich, I imagine that’ll add a lot to what this sandwich offers.
The Bottom Line:
Easily Burger King’s best chicken sandwich right now.
1. Popeyes — Ghost Pepper Chicken Sandwich
Dane Rivera
Popeyes’ Ghost Pepper Chicken Sandwich is so far ahead of the other two we tasted, that I almost feel bad for the competition. This takes an already great chicken sandwich and dials up the heat a bit, which results in an even better chicken sandwich.
What won us over with this one is how much focus was put on the chicken filet itself. It’s juicy, tender, crunchy, and well-seasoned. The pickles and sauce aren’t doing any of the heavy lifting here, which is the way it should be.
The Bottom Line:
The Ghost Pepper Chicken Sandwich isn’t just the best new chicken sandwich dropped this month, it’s also the best new chicken sandwich dropped all year.
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