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It’s Time You Learned How To Make Spicy Salsa Roja At Home

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been blessed to have a never-ending supply of salsas in my kitchen. Looking for something to top off that omelet? I got the perfect tomatillo-based salsa verde for you. Want to kick those homemade fajitas up a notch? Here’s a spicy red so hot you won’t be able to feel your tongue after. Feeling trashy? You know we got those Taco Bell packets on deck. My refrigerator door has always been a make-shift salsa bar, not because I’m Latino (we don’t all have salsa-making grandmas toiling away in our kitchens) but for the simple fact that I live in Southern California and eat a lot of Mexican food. I mean a lot. Whether it’s from a hole in the wall taqueria that no one knows about or a neighborhood staple sit-down restaurant, I’m grabbing some variety of Mexican food multiple times a week and collecting all of the subtly different salsas each restaurant offers.

Or at least, I was. Before COVID-19 put the lid on my whole salsa gathering operation.

While the rest of you were panic buying water at the start of the pandemic and freaking out about whether or not you could get a roll of toilet paper, I was forcing myself to ration salsa like water in the desert — getting by on drops instead of dollops. But while I’ve gradually learned to manage in these salsa scarce end times, I’ve found that I’ve come to miss a very specific kind of salsa — that type of homemade table salsa that can be found gratis with chips at family-owned Mexican restaurants all across California (and other states… plus most of Mexico).

I’m talking about Salsa Roja.

Salsa Roja — “Red Salsa” if you’re too scared to attempt a silent “j” — can be made all sorts of ways, but generally, it’s a semi-chunky tomato-based salsa with a lingering and fragrant kick of spice. It can be made with dried chilies like guajillo, arbol, or ancho peppers, but it’s typically made with more basic varieties like the jalapeño. Today, we’re going to make our Salsa Roja with jalapeños, which are easily found at any market, but we’re also going to add two other peppers — because the best Salsa Rojas bring the heat, and if you want to impress at your next gathering (whenever that is) or at the dinner table, you’re going to need to learn how to level-up what can be found in a jar at the supermarket.

STEP I: Gather Your Ingredients

Dane Rivera
  • 4 Roma Tomatoes
  • 1/8-1/4 Onion
  • 1 Jalapeño Pepper
  • 1 Serrano Pepper
  • 1 Arbol Chile
  • 2 Cloves of Garlic
  • Salt
  • Cilantro (optional)

To yield about 8 ounces of Salsa Roja, we’re going to use four medium-sized roma tomatoes and three chili peppers. If you’re looking for something less spicy, feel free to use just two peppers. The amount of onion and garlic you use can be “to taste.” If you don’t know much about chili peppers, japaleños pack a pretty tolerable level of heat and have a bright pronounced vegetable flavor (think a green bell pepper, but spicy instead of peppery) with serrano chilis having a very similar flavor, but with a stronger, smokier kick. Arbol chilis are a bit more of a rarity but you should be able to find them dried in the “ethnic” aisle throughout the country or the Mexican food aisle in California, Texas, Arizona, etc. Dried arbol chilis are usually red, and the fresh chilis are generally green. I tend to prefer fresh arbols, as their flavor is a little more subtle. The heat is really going to be driven by the Serrano and arbol here, while the jalapeño brings the flavor.

STEP II: Blister Everything

Dane Rivera

To bring our flavors to life, we need to blister our ingredients on the pan before we start chopping and mixing. There are several ways you can do this: over an open fire (messy), on an iron pan in the oven (the cleanest-but-longest process), or directly on the pan. I prefer to do it directly on the pan as it’s the fastest and most fragrant method. Lightly oil your pan and, once hot, blister the ingredients until they develop a nice char. You can eyeball this process but the tomatoes, which will take the longest, should only take about 10 minutes.

I like to core my tomatoes prior to the blistering process to remove the seeds.

STEP III: Chop It Up

Dane Rivera

Once all your ingredients are looking good and roasted, remove the stems on your chili peppers and get to chopping. Before you begin chopping your ingredients, feel free to split your chili peppers in half to easily de-seed them. I like to leave them in for a spicier result. Keep in mind that if you’re planning on using a molcajete or a mortar and pestle you’re going to want to cut up your ingredients finely to give yourself less work down the line.

STEP IV: Grind, Mash, Mix

Dane Rivera

When your ingredients are all chopped up, it’s time to marry them together into a salsa. Now don’t feel bad if you don’t have a molcajete, you can absolutely use a blender or food processor in for this step (I’m going to use one down the line anyway) but if you have the tools and the patience, go with the molcajete. A molcajete will allow you to release the oils from the seeds and skins of your chilis and… well, it just pulls the flavors together in this really beautiful way with a great consistency that simply can’t be replicated in a blender.

Blenders tend to make salsas overly frothy and infuse the end result with too much air, but admittedly using a molcajete is work. You will break into a sweat. Your hand might cramp.

Dane Rivera

Pro molcajete tip: Begin with your smallest ingredients first. Start with the garlic and onion, add each pepper one at a time, and add your tomatoes little by little as their high water content will make grinding a splashy, more frustrating experience.

STEP V: The Final Touch

Dane Rivera

Once you’ve worked (or blended) your salsa to your desired consistency, add a touch of water (about 6-8 tablespoons) some salt to taste, and a few sprigs of fresh chopped cilantro and give it a good mix. In this process, I generally like to use a blender for about 30 seconds if the consistency is not quite where I like it, but there is no real wrong way to do this — it merely depends on how chunky you like your salsa.

At this point, you might find that your salsa has the right balance of flavor and heat, but something tastes like it’s missing. That final ingredient is time — you’re going to want your salsa to sit for a few hours while the flavors marry together into something that exceeds the sum of its parts.

Put your salsa in a jar and prepare to use it on everything. The result should be a red-to-brown colored salsa with a fragrant bouquet of spicy roasted chilis that mingle with the umami qualities of tomato and roasted garlic. The spice level I’ve made here won’t cut through your food so much as it will bring the flavors of your food together — elevating even the most basic of microwaveable burritos and bagged chips into an authentic-feeling Mexican restaurant experience.

Dane Rivera
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Alicia Keys And SiR Give An Enchanting Performance Of ‘Three Hour Drive’ On ‘A Colors Show’

Alicia Keys released her lush record Alicia last week, a follow-up to 2016’s Here. The album saw a handful of features from the likes of Tierra Whack, Khalid, and Sampha. Taking her sizzling songs to the popular performance series A Colors Show, the singer tapped SiR to take Sampha’s place on her dreamy track “Three Hour Drive.”

Poised before a lavender backdrop, Keys took over the keyboard for the rendition while SiR remained on vocals. Though the performance took place in a studio, the two managed to make their duet sound distinctly intimate, expertly harmonizing their far-reaching vocals.

In other Keys news, the musician recently announced she was partnering with the NFL to give an $1 billion endowment to Black-owned businesses. Speaking to Billboard about the endeavor, Keys said:

“We are already seeing the blatant injustices that are going on around us. As an artist, I’m always thinking about how can I use my platform to further racial equity. This fund is one of the answers and our goal is to empower Black America through investing in Black businesses, Black investors, institutions, entrepreneurs, schools and banks in a way to create sustainable solutions. […] The initial goal of $1 billion is to ensure a substantial commitment. Even with that, it does not come close to closing the economic gap. The next steps are to reach out to different industries to invite them to invest in racial justice and create a multi-billion dollar endowment across business sectors.”

Watch Keys and SiR perform “Three Hour Drive” above.

Alicia is out now via RCA. Get it here.

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Henry Cavill Attempting To Decipher Victorian Slang With His ‘Enola Holmes’ Co-Stars Is Quite ‘Bricky’

Netflix’s Enola Holmes adventure movie arrives this week (Wed, Sept. 23) with Stranger Things‘ Millie Bobbie Brown playing Sherlock’s rebellious teen sister. Another Netflix favorite, The Witcher‘s Henry Cavill, is portraying Sherlock, who he promises (to Radio Times) “is different from what we may see as the traditional misogynistic genius.” Apparently, Enola opens his heart, but both Cavill and Brown, along with Sam Claflin (who plays Mycroft Holmes), were all having a heck of a time attempting to translate Victorian Slang in a new video for the streamer.

Actually, they guessed almost every entry wrong, with Cavill arguably having the best reaction faces, including this one.

Via Netflix on Twitter

The group rolled around “bags o’ mystery” (referring to the dubious nature of ordering sausages); as well as “bricky” (an expression of appreciation); “butter upon bacon” (describing absolute access); “bang up to the elephant” (acknowledging a job well done); and more. It was a whole lot of chaos.

Enola Holmes should feature plenty of fancy hair and twirling-of-mustaches as Sherlock and Mycroft attempt to shuttle their sister off to finishing school after her mother (Helena Bonham Carter) suddenly disappears. The movie, which is directed by Fleabag‘s Harry Bradbeer, streams on September 23.

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Adam Silver’s ‘Best Guess’ Is That The Next NBA Season Starts In January

The NBA Playoffs are rolling right along in the Disney Bubble, but looming on the other side of the Finals are negotiations and discussion between the league and players association about how to proceed with next season, from working out the all-important financials and salary cap to picking a start date for the 2020-21 season.

Adam Silver spoke with Bob Costas on CNN on Tuesday and explained that it might simply be the 2021 season, with him currently realizing the likelihood of a January start date for next season. Silver noted that the longer they push back, the greater the possibility of returning in home arenas with fans is, and that has to be the goal for the NBA for a variety of reasons.

While the league would surely like a Christmas start date, with the NBA Draft pushed back to Nov. 18 that wouldn’t leave much time for free agency and training camp. A January start might provide the opportunity for limited fans in the stands from the start, which is the goal for a league that is already dealing with the financial ramifications of the restarted season in a Bubble and will be seeking as much normal revenue as possible from next season.

A lot of that will come down to the status of a vaccine, as NBA arenas have a larger hurdle to clear than football stadiums in that they are, for one, smaller, and more importantly indoors which increases the possibility of spread. As such, there are plenty of logistics to figure out, but from a player perspective, while Bubble leagues have proven to be the most successful in preventing cases, the early returns from the NFL have been pretty good and after some serious early hiccups, MLB has seemed to find its groove with playing in home stadiums as well.

There are plenty of questions moving forward, but it seems as though the league is becoming more patient about the start of next season, which began with pushing the draft date back a month and, now understandably, shifting expectations for a season start date to early 2021.

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Jeff Pearlman’s New Book Details The Time Shaq Slapped Kobe In An L.A. Pickup Run

The Kobe-Shaq Lakers are as fascinating a team as there has been in the NBA, a force that, at its peak, was one of the most dominant teams ever, but was undone by internal strains and tensions that eventually became too great to overcome.

That team is the subject of Jeff Pearlman’s new book, Three-Ring Circus: Kobe, Shaq, Phil, and the Crazy Years of the Lakers Dynasty, that released on Tuesday, and ESPN ran a number of excerpts from the piece for its launch. They detail a young Kobe Bryant’s rise from an awkward Italian kid to a high school sensation in the U.S., but most notably the strained relationship between the two Lakers superstars in Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal.

One such story comes from Olden Polynice, who recalls a pickup run in Los Angeles during the 1998-99 lockout in which Bryant’s constant antagonizing of Shaq and claims that the Lakers were “my team” and that Shaq was “not a leader” eventually got him smacked (and, if not for Polynice running in to grab the big man, much worse) by the Big Diesel.

Several of the participants stepped in to separate the two, and the game eventually continued. But it no longer felt even slightly relaxed or friendly. “We probably went up and down the court two more times,” Polynice said. “Kobe goes to the basket, scores, screams at Shaq, ‘Yeah, motherf—er! That s— ain’t gonna stop me!’”

O’Neal grabbed the ball in order to freeze action.

“Say another motherf—ing word,” he said, staring directly at Bryant.

“Aw, f— you,” Bryant said. “You don’t kn–”

Smack!

O’Neal slapped Bryant across the face. Hard.

“His hands are huge,” said Blount, who was playing in the game. “The noise was loud.”

Here is Polynice’s recollection: “Then Shaq swung again at Kobe, but he missed. S—! I run over and grab Shaq, because I’m big enough to do so. And Shaq keeps swinging, but everything’s missing because I have his arms. I’m grabbing on to Shaq, holding on for dear life, yelling, ‘Somebody grab Kobe! Seriously — somebody grab him!’ Because I’m holding Shaq and Kobe’s taking swings at him. At one point Shaq gets an arm loose and he pops me in the head. Seriously, no good deed goes unpunished. And I’m telling you, if Shaq gets loose he would have killed Kobe Bryant. I am not exaggerating. It was along the lines of an I-want-to-kill-you-right-now punch. He wanted to end Kobe’s life in that moment.”

Bryant was undeterred. “You’re soft!” he barked. “Is that all you’ve got? You’re soft!” Blount begged Bryant to stop talking. “You’re not helping,” he said. “Just shut up.” The altercation was finally broken up when Jerome Crawford, O’Neal’s bodyguard, walked onto the floor and calmed his friend down. O’Neal was furious. “You can’t touch him in practice,” he wrote of Bryant. “He’s acting like Jordan, where some players thought you couldn’t touch Mike. Whenever somebody ripped Kobe, he’d call a foul. After a while, I’m like, ‘Listen, man, you don’t have to start calling that punk s—.’” As he walked from the court, Polynice looked at a shaken Kupchak and said, loudly, “You should sign me just for that.”

The book seems like a fascinating look inside the dynamic of a team that managed to simultaneously reach the highest of highs and lowest of lows, with their two superstars at the center of it all, somewhat ironically trying desperately to separate themselves from the other while becoming attached forever with their on-court success.

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‘The Daily Show’ Made A Strong ‘Best Karen’ Pick While Announcing The Pandemmy Award Winners

Last week, The Daily Show opened up voting for its first, and hopefully last, The Pandemmy Awards. With categories like “Best Karen” and “Best Bulls**t,” the awards show hoped to recognize the very best of the worst coronavirus responses by mankind and even nature. The entrees included a grab bag of viral moments from anti-mask supermarket freakouts to Donald Trump’s infamous attempt to walk down a ramp. (Thanks to his questionable handling of the pandemic, you’re going to see the president pop up a lot in the results. Just FYI.)

After over one million votes, here are the big winners for The 2020 Pandemmy Awards, and God help us if we’re doing this again next year:

Best Bullshit: Kayleigh McEnany – “I Will Never Lie to You”
Best Costume Design: Matt Gaetz – “Mocking Gas Mask”
Best Cure: Disinfectant
Best Foreign Film: Italians Singing on Balconies
Best Karen: “I Am Legend”
Best Kevin: Man Dragged Out By Son
Best Picture: Gov. Cuomo: SLUT
Best Supporting Disaster: Gender Reveal Wildfire
Best Supporting Supporter: Dr. Robert Redfield – “Your Decisive Leadership”
Most Optimistic Performance: Donald Trump – “Like a Miracle It’ll Disappear”
Outstanding Achievement in Wishful Thinking: Dana Bash – “From a Human Standpoint”
Outstanding Stunt Coordination: Donald Trump

While all of the categories had some stiff competition, particularly the numerous COVID “cures” floated by the president since the start of the pandemic (remember when he said sunlight would kill it?), there were some strong entries in the Best Karen and Best Kevin categories — since certain Americans did not respond well to being told to wear a mask in public spaces. You can check out the other entries who didn’t make the cut below:

Best Karen:

Best Kevin:

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Polo G Gives A VIbrant ‘Tonight Show’ Performance Of ‘Martin & Gina’

Polo G makes his Tonight Show debut with the song “Martin & Gina” from his second studio album The GOAT, performing the song with a live band and a spring in his step. While the song is a departure from the Chicago rapper’s usual solemn fare, he keeps the same energy, rapping with a simple stage setup as the lighting effects around him accentuate the smooth single’s romantic overtures.

Polo released the video for “Martin & Gina” a little over a month ago, tapping into the inspiration for the song’s title to reimagine fan-favorite scenes from the sitcom Martin. The move proved to be a smart one, showing that the 21 year old can switch lanes from the darker subject matter he usually explores and show off his sense of humor and charm. “Martin & Gina” has since been certified Gold by RIAA, peaking at no. 61 on the Hot 100 chart.

Since debuting with Die A Legend in 2019, Polo G’s profile has risen considerably, landing him a spot on the 2020 XXL Freshman class, as well as making him a hot feature artist, with appearances on songs from Lil Durk (“3 Headed Goat“), Murda Beatz (“Doors Unlocked“), Calboy (“Fake Love”), and Juice WRLD (“Hate The Other Side”).

Watch Polo G’s Tonight Show performance of “Martin & Gina” above.

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Taylor Swift Has Shared An Important Video Message On National Voter Registration Day

While Taylor Swift had maintained an apolitical public presence during the majority of her career, that has changed in recent years. Like many in entertainment, Swift has become a vocal critic of Donald Trump, and she wants to do all she can to prevent him from being re-elected. So, with today (September 22) being National Voter Registration Day, Swift has used her expansive social media platform to make sure her followers have all the information they need so they’ll be able to successfully vote in the 2020 election.

Today, Swift shared a selfie-style video on her Instagram Story, in which she begins, “Hey guys, it’s National Voter Registration Day today; The election is November 3rd. It’s really coming up.” She then explained that she has provided a link containing resources about voting, including vote.org links to information about registering to vote, how and when to vote early, requesting a ballot by mail, and checking your voting registration status. She concluded the post by making clear the value of voting in this year’s election: “We need everyone, and it is more important than I can even possibly say.”

Last month, Swift criticized Trump’s USPS cuts as a tactic to help ensure his re-election, writing on Twitter, “Trump’s calculated dismantling of USPS proves one thing clearly: He is WELL AWARE that we do not want him as our president. He’s chosen to blatantly cheat and put millions of Americans’ lives at risk in an effort to hold on to power. Donald Trump’s ineffective leadership gravely worsened the crisis that we are in and he is now taking advantage of it to subvert and destroy our right to vote and vote safely. Request a ballot early. Vote early.”

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Lil Peep’s ‘Hellboy’ Mixtape Is Finally Hitting Streaming Services On Its Fourth Anniversary

Since Lil Peep’s death in 2017, his friends and family have continued to share a bevy of remastered and unreleased material. His Crybaby mixtape was uploaded on streaming services for the first time this June. The emo rapper even had a documentary made about his life, titled Everybody’s Everything, which was released alongside a 19-track album. Now, Lil Peep’s estate have announced yet another remastered project from the rapper is being released soon.

Peep’s Hellboy mixtape was uploaded to SoundCloud nearly four years ago, and to celebrate its anniversary, the rapper’s estate has decided to make it more accessible to fans by putting it on streaming services. The mixtape boasts 16 tracks and features Peep’s friends and frequent collaborators like Lil Tracy, Xavier Wulf, and more.

Hellboy was recorded with producer Smokeasac, who recalled Peep’s inspiration behind the album: “I remember when we made Hellboy. He explained to me why he chose the name. He explained that it was because he knew that Hellboy came off as intimidating and scary to some, but it was because he was like a book that was only judged by its cover. Hellboy was actually a super hero who had a huge heart and that’s exactly what Peep was; a super hero with a humongous heart.”

Hellboy is out 9/25 via AUTNMY. Pre-order it here.

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The Jennifer Aniston And Brad Pitt Reunion Was Arranged By… Dane Cook?

Who do we have to thank for Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston appearing on screen together for the first time since their 2005 divorce? Dane Cook, of course. The comedian, who sold out Madison Square Garden at the height of his fame (and later voiced Dusty Crophopper in Planes, another career milestone), organized the Fast Times at Ridgemont High virtual table read that gave us a shirtless Shia LaBeouf smoking weed in his car and Pitt and Aniston reenacting the film’s famous pool scene.

“When I text [Jennifer], she was — I’m not trying to make it more fluffy — she could not have been more delightful, game, excited,” Cook said on the Better Together with Maria Menounos (I miss her) podcast. “Again, I knew once those first few names were in there, when Brad Pitt started coming in, I was like, ‘Yes! This is gonna happen.’”

Cook, who is otherwise “happy and vibing” when not texting Jennifer Aniston, continued:

“There was no hesitation, there was no rules, there was no, nothing. There wasn’t anything like, were they not allowed… No! Zero. No drama. They both locked in. What you saw was absolutely what we had hoped. Which was just nice engagement between two massive, incredibly talented people!”

If there’s one thing that I love, it’s nice engagement between two massive, incredibly talented people. If there’s two things that I love, it’s nice engagement between two massive, incredibly talented people, and whatever Shia is doing here.

(Via E! Online)