In case you couldn’t tell from the inevitable, uniform reactions from Los Angeles’ transplant population on Twitter, a 3.7-magnitude earthquake hit LA in the wee hours of the morning, prompting the aforementioned flurry of “Earthquake!” tweets. However, native Angelenos, who are well-accustomed to having the ground move at random points throughout their lives, didn’t even notice the tremors. One native who slept through the shakes was Snoop Dogg, who posted a hilarious reaction video to Instagram after discovering that not only was there an earthquake, but that his hair apparently felt it before he did.

“They said we just had an earthquake,” he quipped. “They said we just had an earthquake.” However, Snoop’s often carefully-manicured coiffure had come undone, prompting him to wonder, “The f*ck happened to my hair?” This led to the theory that, “We must’ve had an earthquake because my hair didn’t look like this when I went to bed. My hair must’ve got scared and gathered itself up to protect itself from the earthquake.” However, despite all this apparently happening in his sleep, Snoop maintained his insistence that he remained unaffected. “I didn’t feel it… I’m going back to bed,” he declared.

While Snoop was more than willing to joke about the shakeup on Instagram, some of his fellow famous people seemed a bit more… shaken. Cardi B wondered, “Who felt that earthquake?” while Chrissy Teigen combined both reactions into a single tweet: “You’re telling me the earthquake busted in mere minutes after it becoming earth day?? An icon.”

Watch Snoop’s hilarious reaction above.

Last year, Netflix released the explosive documentary chronicling the failure of the high-profile Fyre Festival. The festival landed the founder Billy McFarland in jail and Ja Rule in hot water. But the documentary also generated viral success for Andy King, who quickly became a meme after revealing what he almost had to do to save the festival. King now aims to flip the script and bring people together through a virtual festival experience.

King is hosting the livestream music festival Room Service, a three-day live event with an eclectic lineup of musicians. Boasting acts like A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Gallant, Mxmtoon, Yungblud, and more, the entire festival benefits charity. Room Service is free to view, but virtual attendees are asked to donate to funds which will benefit the non-profit organizations Feeding America and Sweet Relief to provide support to those in need during the pandemic. The festival goes down from Friday, April 24 to Sunday, April 26, which is almost exactly three years after Fyre was scheduled to take place.

In a statement, King detailed his excitement about the virtual festival: “I’m beyond thrilled to host Room Service this weekend and bring everybody some well-deserved joy and distraction. This festival gives us a chance to translate the anniversary of Fyre into some real good that’s needed in the world right now.”

Watch the Room Service Music Festival trailer above and check out the full lineup below.

The three-day festival kicks off 4/24. RSVP here.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Muffet McGraw is among the most legendary women’s basketball coaches of all-time, having accrued 936 wins in her career, including 842 in her 33 years at Notre Dame. During that time, the Irish went to nine Final Fours and won a pair of national titles, most recently in 2018, and McGraw was inducted into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame in 2017.

On Wednesday, McGraw and Notre Dame announced that she would be stepping down as head coach of the Irish in a move that stunned the hoops world. McGraw said “the time has come to step down,” and issued thanks to Notre Dame’s leadership, the fans, and players she coached over her tremendous 33-year tenure in South Bend.

Not only was McGraw a tremendously successful coach, but she also used her platform to speak out about issues of gender inequality and the need for more women in leadership positions not just in sports but across politics and business. Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick also issued a statement of appreciation for McGraw and for how much she cared about not just helping the women she coached become better basketball players, but also developing skills beyond the court.

“It is inevitable and appropriate that as we mark Muffet’s retirement from coaching today, much of the focus will be on the remarkable record of competitive success that makes her a Hall of Fame coach,” Jack Swarbrick stated. “But my reflections go more to her as an educator, friend, and role model. Every time I had the privilege of stepping into her classroom, be it at practice or courtside during a game, I was struck by how much she cared about her students and how important it was for her to use basketball as a vehicle to help develop future leaders.

“Winning over 900 games and two national championships make Muffet a legendary coach; nurturing “strong confident women who are not afraid to use their voice and take a stand” makes Muffet a teacher who made a difference in the lives of every student-athlete she taught. While we will not have the benefit of Muffet as our coach going forward, we will make certain that through her ongoing work with Notre Dame Athletics we continue to enjoy all that she has to offer as an educator, friend, and role model.”

McGraw retires ranking sixth among D-1 coaches in wins, fifth in Final Four appearances, fourth in NCAA Tournament wins, and won three National Coach of the Year awards. Former Notre Dame player, assistant coach and, most recently, assistant coach with the Memphis Grizzlies, Niele Ivey will take over as the Irish’s new head coach.

MIAMI – It’s slightly jarring seeing Usain Bolt sitting. The world’s fastest man has a frenetic energy about him, placed somewhere between a coiled snake and Sonic The Hedgehog in a ball. And yet, there’s a calmness to that conservation of energy, as he peers beyond the horizon at any given time. He knows he can escape, he knows he has an exit strategy, he knows at any moment, he can teleport. Even motionless Bolt doesn’t fade; instead, there’s a glow, a rolling boil that brings you in and welcomes you.

There won’t be an Olympics this summer. That date has been pushed into 2021, and those seeking medals and the sort of fame that Bolt captured with his eight Golds over three games will have to wait. Everyone watching to find new heroes has to wait. Everyone’s waiting for something now. Bolt’s astounding run has been given new life on NBC Sports Network as they replay the best of the most recent games, and the fastest man alive seems even faster now, in motion as everything else is frozen.

UPROXX Sports got the chance to speak with Bolt the week of the Super Bowl from the Gatorade Bolt24 lounge, as he contemplated meditation, what’s next, and how sitting still just isn’t in his DNA.

Martin Rickman: I was just reading something this morning about Tyreek Hill potentially trying to do some Olympic qualifying. It had me remembering again that discussion about whether or not you would play wide receiver, way back.

Usain Bolt: For me, I told them especially if [Aaron] Rodgers called me, because I’m a Green Bay Packers fan. If he called me and said listen to me, one year, two years, I’m ready. I’ll do it. I’ll try. I’m a fan. I’m a Green Bay Packers fan so it would be good.

I’ve talked to Michael Phelps about this not too long ago that the hard thing for guys is trying to find that balance between training but also enjoying your life. And for him, he said it’s taken him years to almost de-program himself.

Yeah. I think, for me, I couldn’t survive that. I remember me and my coach when we started, we butted heads on the same thing because he wanted me to be on it, on it, on it. And I was like, coach, I can’t do this. If I don’t get a break from this, I’m going to go crazy.

So we kind of understood each other where he would let me, I would train, but I’ll do my own thing a little bit. And when he needs me to get serious, he was like, listen, we need these few months to be focused. And then I was, alright, cool, and I shut everything down, and I’ll focus on this work. So to be honest with each other, where it gave me my space to live a little bit at a certain time of the year. But I know where he’s coming from. It’s hard cause at some point, this is why at the end of my career, people wanted me to go on to this Olympics. And it’s hard because all my life, all I knew was track and field. I’ve been doing it since I was 10 years old. All I knew. So now I’m retired, I can live, I can do things, I can travel, I can go on vacations finally, and do things that I really want to do, man.

When you’re the fastest man in the world, slowing down isn’t always the easiest thing.

I don’t think I’ve actually slowed down. I think I do more work now, but I do have more time to, I can pick my schedule here. I can say this is when I just want to stay in Jamaica and chill, work with who I need to work with, or go on vacation with my girlfriend. We can chill, but it’s still busy.

That energy doesn’t stop. You don’t destroy energy. You just transfer it.

Transfer it, right.

My parents were down in Montego Bay not too long ago, and they were saying pictures of you are still everywhere. What does that mean to you to basically be carrying that flag with you everywhere you go?

It feels good. When you work as hard as I did to get to where I wanted to be, it’s something that people really appreciate the work that I’ve done, and they show their love. Even now, I go there, people I deal with appreciate what you’re doing. People are trying to get me back into track and field. “You should go back. Keep running.” So it feels good to know that people really appreciate me. It feels good.

Aside from traveling, what are some of the things that you like to put your energy in now? And what have you learned about yourself in this process of starting your next chapter?

I try to focus more on my charity work. I got more time than I had to do a lot more things. I can pick my schedule. It’s much easier. There’s so much going on in the world right now, especially with kids. It’s hard for them. So I try to help kids as much as I possibly can.

Yeah. I know you’ve been known to get on that Peloton bike every once in awhile. Do you have an instructor that you like?

Ally Love. Yeah. That’s the only workout I do really. I’ve tried a few at the start, but I think the reason why I got into it is because she’s kind of Caribbean. Every now and then, she gives me the nice, Caribbean vibe. I like it. I do it all the time.

Yes, it’s funny. So Phelps does it, Cam Newton does it, a few of the other guys I’ve talked to over the years.

It’s good. It’s right in my room. You just get up and get on it. For me, that’s why it’s so good. Because I think when you retire, it’s hard to get back into the gym because all you know all your life is work, work, work, work. So to me, having this in my room works out very well because you get up and you go, I really don’t want to work out today, but you go it’s there. Just give it 30 minutes and so it works out.

It’s taking control because working out can be work. But it’s also life, and it’s been life for you for so long.

Yeah, you got to keep fit. I noticed that I put weight on quickly now that I’m retired. I’m not working out. Nah, I need to work out. It’s strange just putting weight on. Every time I go on the scale, it just keeps going up. I say, no, I can’t do this. So now I’m taking control trying to stay fit so the Peloton works real well.

Recovery is so important when you’re doing what you do, but especially after you’ve been at this level and now you’re bringing it down to a certain place. What types of routines do you get into for recovery?

It’s not as stressful now. It’s just all about hydration. You’ve got to stay hydrated because I’m not competing at high levels. I don’t have to stretch out, I still get massages. At this point, it’s all about exactly the regular people now. You feel like you don’t need to hydrate, but you do. Especially if you live in hot-air climates, because a lot of people get dehydrated, and you don’t even know it. You need to keep drinking through the day. Water helps, but Gatorade helps a lot. For me, electrolytes are very important. No sugar, no artificial flavors. It’s what you need so I always try to get people, especially my friends, they go, you could just drink water. You can drink water all day and you can still be dehydrated. I said, I will explain something. The reason the Gatorade works is because of the electrolytes. You get back your energy, and then you feel good. They’ve learned [to listen to me] over the years.

It doesn’t hurt that it’s got your name on the bottle.

Yeah, yeah. It doesn’t hurt that I get free Gatorade. And they get the benefit. [Laughs.]

Previously on the Best and Worst of WCW Monday Nitro: Eric Bischoff got the black parts of his hair shaved off, revealing the grey kiwi underneath. Scott Steiner started stalking Kimberly Page, a camera man fell in love with David Flair’s rippling physique, and Kevin Nash began his season of throwing Rey Mysterio at the ground.

Click here to watch this week’s episode on WWE Network. You can catch up with all the previous episodes of WCW Monday Nitro on the Best and Worst of Nitro tag page. Follow along with the competition here.

Remember, if you want us to keep writing 20-year-old WCW jokes, click the share buttons and spread the column around. If you don’t tell them how much you like these, nobody’s going to read them. It’s almost time for Superb Rawl. It’s Lou Rawls’ greatest hits album. I think I’m reading that right.

And now, the Best and Worst of WCW Monday Nitro for January 25, 1999.

Best: A Serious Professional

Before I talk about anything else, yes, this is the episode with the infamous “El Dandy” promo from Bret Hart. If you haven’t seen it, I’ve included it above and expect you to watch it immediately.

He had better and more important promos, but for me, this is quintessential Bret Hart. All you really need to know is that Ric Flair is expecting Hart, the United States Champion and current sufferer of “a groin pull the likes you’ve never seen in your whole life,” to wrestle Booker T on Nitro and defend the championship at SuperBrawl against an opponent to be named later. Hart, in his full “fuck you, pay me” WCW glory, claims that Flair’s still holding a grudge against him from forever ago, and that Booker T is a [extreme Canadian accent] LOSER [end extreme Canadian accent]. He “axes” Booker a question: does Booker know that his VERY LIFE is on the line tonight? “All the little kids at home, they’re gonna watch me tear you up and break you into little pieces.”

“Let me tell you who deserves a shot at the United States Heavyweight Championship; I’m the champion, I oughta know. Ya know, I’ve been sizing up guys since I came to the WCW, and I think the one guy that stands out the most, the guy that I think has earned the title shot, El Dandy … I think you’re a heck of a wrestler, you’re a great technician in the ring and you’re a jam up guy, I don’t see any reason-“

In case you aren’t up to speed, El Dandy is the winner of the Lou Ferrigno Lookalike Contest for 1998 (per Chris Jericho) and arguably the seventh or eighth most important member of the Latino World Order. For a look at how big of a threat he might actually be to Hart’s United States Championship, look at the faces Hart and Gene Okerlund make about it. Now the stage is set for this timeless exchange:

“Wait a minute, El Dandy has been wrestling in the cruiserweight division here, please.”
[deadpan] “He’s a great wrestler.”
“Great wrestler, but goodness sakes, a fifty pound difference.”
“Who are you to doubt El Dandy? Because this guy’s a serious professional.”

Gene is definitely not considering what a JAM UP GUY both Hart and Dandy are. With Dandy doubted, Hart says he’ll give a title shot to “Hypnosis,” which is what he thinks Psicosis’ name is. It is now, forever. Hypnosis is a, “highflyer of the highest magnitude,” and Gene, who is mean, continues to balk at the idea of cruiserweights getting title shots instead of just wrestling each other over and over — Eddie Guerrero had a point — and talks the champ into “playing hurt.”

“Make no mistake about it, on February the 21st, in Oakland, you’re gonna be facing somebody, and that U.S. title will be on the line, Mr. Hart.”
“…. whatever.”

Magnificent. While Hart continued to advocate for the match on Backstage Blast, Hart and Dandy never did have that one-on-one match for the United States Championship. Probably for the best, though. If a Jam Up Guy faces a Jam Up Guy, that jam’s going too far up.

The philosophical crater left by the question remains, however. Who are we to doubt El Dandy?

Best: Surprise! Nitro Is Better Than Raw Again (For The Moment)

Between the raging anticlimax of Starrcade ’98, the writing on the wall of the Fingerpoke of Doom, and the stunning awfulness of Souled Out, it’s easy to get nihilistic about World Championship Wrestling. Bad things are coming. But what they don’t tell you on WWE Network revisionist history shows is that WCW’s spring of ’99 actually gets pretty good, with Spring Stampede ’99 being (for the most part) the high point. At the very least, they’re putting on a good show every now and then and remaining just as reliably inconsistent as Raw.

This week’s Nitro is considerably better than this week’s Raw. Take, for instance, this 15-minute Bret Hart vs. Booker T match they decided to drop into the middle of the show. Booker’s out there making himself a star, showing he can go a full quarter-hour with The Best There Is et al. Bret’s giving him everything he’s got to give, while (1) you know, actually wrestling, which is something WCW never seemed to figure out he could do really well, and (2) showing the audience that he’s not the Bret Hart they know but actually a total coward scumbag who tried to duck Booker in a NON-TITLE MATCH and had to cheat to beat him. He gives him the bell spot from the WrestleMania 13 match with Stone Cold Steve Austin, but with the United States Championship belt in place of the bell (pictured).

You know what Raw programmed against this? A Shane McMahon promo, D’Lo Brown shopping for tampons as part of a fake miscarriage blackmail angle, and Test vs. Val Venis. Just saying. Remember: wrestling has always been very good, and has always been very bad.

When You’re Down To The Last Of Your Quarantine Groceries

The major story coming out of Thunder is that the nWo Wolfpac can’t be arsed to show up — maybe Eric Bischoff will suspend them and then feud with them for six months — so they leave nWo VINCENT in charge. Yes, folks, Manservant Virgil not only joined the Wolfpac, he led the entire New World Order. His platform is based on two important issues:

• changing his name from “Vincent” to “Vince,” in case the previous nomenclature was too subtle for you
• promote TAG TEAM WRESTLING

The nWo’s big four (Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Hollywood Hogan, and Disco Inferno) have been actively ruining matches in the WCW Tag Team Championship tournament and have made clear that they don’t want the tourney happening at all. They just want the title belts to default back to The Outsiders, which is … something that happens fairly often in WCW. I don’t know how championship bureaucracy works. Vince hasn’t been paying attention, so he announces that Brian Adams and Horace Hogan will represent the B-Team in the tournament. He also announced a six-man main event where he’d team up with Stevie Ray and Scott Norton to take on the goddamn Four Horsemen, which results in them getting completely skunked and embarrassed. Now the WCW announce team can scream “VINCE SUCKS, VINCE IS THE WORST,” with impunity!

Anyway, it turns out the important nWo members were spying on the terrible ones via a hidden camera and quietly judging them. Not sure why they needed the hidden camera when they had a TV camera back there airing live footage straight to TBS all night, but maybe Hogan’s limousine doesn’t get cable.

Before Nitro, the nWo B-Team’s two most accomplished members, Stevie Ray and Curt Hennig, get together in secret to plot a coup. I say “two most accomplished” assuming Scott Norton was focused on New Japan and only followed WCW by reading Angelfire blog recaps. Once the show starts and the important characters arrive, Stevie immediately runs to Hogan and narcs on Hennig. The turncoat has become the turncoated! We find out that Stevie Ray threw Mr. Perfect under the bus trying to get a promotion from nWo Garbage to nWo Valuable, but it doesn’t work. Vince is already back to wearing black and white, and Hogan — seen here in a rare nWo Elite shirt that looks like he bought it at an artsy New World Order pop-up — politely and indirectly reminds Stevie that the only black guy allowed in the nWo front office is Dennis Rodman. But thanks for being an informant! Otherwise they never would’ve guessed that Curt Hennig was planning to turn on them.

There’s a silver lining here, though. Now that Hennig’s out of the nWo, he can focus on his true love: hating rap music.

Still stuck doing gopher work until Flair’s 90 days as President are up, Eric Bischoff is forced to work the merch table. At one point he tries to shortchange someone who paid with a 20 by pretending they gave him a 10. I’ve got to say, Bischoff taking a WCW fan’s money and not giving them enough in return is a pretty on-the-nose metaphor. It’s WCW’s equivalent of that time Vince McMahon stood in the middle of the ring on Raw and screamed I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT at the crowd.

Side note: this stand is selling the Monday Night Jericho t-shirt I seriously looked for at WCW events for like a year and a half and never found. I guess rural Virginia and North Carolina didn’t get the full merch spread. I least I could always buy a shirt with a long haired guy in sunglasses with “SEXY” under him or one that says “BANG” across the chest and get made fun of at school!

Having been thoroughly embarrassed at home and abroad, the nWo decides to put together a Big3 team of all-stars and get revenge on the Horsemen. So instead of Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, and Mongo ‘Steve’ McMichael going 3-on-3 with Virgil, Crush, and Scott Norton, they’re up against Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Big Poppa Pump. Ric Flair was secretly the God of six-man tags in the ’90s — see also the time he teamed up with Roddy Piper and Kevin Greene at Slamboree ’97 and had one of the most fun matches of the year — so this is also good while it lasts. Highlights include the retroactive absurdity of Chris Benoit wrestling Hulk Hogan, and Hogan whipping Benoit in the face with his weight belt. Oh, if only we could go back and pivot this into a Benoit vs. Hogan program.

Anyway, seeing as how this is a WCW Monday Nitro main event, you know how this ends. First comes the disqualification. Flair has Hogan in the Figure Four, but before he can bridge into the Figure Eight, Eric Bischoff shows up with some suspicious foam fingers attached to 2x4s from his merch stand. Nash, not content with the knowledge that a 300-pound man’s 7-foot-tall stomp would hurt worse than a brittle board with some foam around it, swats at Ric and draws the DQ. Bischoff (in a hat with a wig attached, Undertaker style) still wants to shave President Nature Boy’s head, but Flair is saved by his friends: the Horsemen, the luchadores he freed from the socially oppressive Latino World Order, and Chavo Guerrero, whose punches are definitely hurting Kevin Nash.

Mike Tenay insists that this is the show of unity for we’ve been waiting for from World Championship Wrestling. It’s not, but it’s nice to say. Aw nuts, fans, we’re out of time! Join us this Sunday for the ROYAL RUMBLE World War 3? SuperBrawl wait no SuperBrawl is still almost a month away … church?

In Other nWo News

By the way, Scott Steiner isn’t allowed to follow the Nitro Girls into the bathroom and harass them anymore, so he simply sits at the announce table and watches them dance, seething with horny rage. These are the social skills you develop when your brother argues with possessed dolls and your best friend won’t stop airbrushing his face onto top hats.

Disco Inferno is a BEAST all of a sudden. He wins a squash match strong with his finisher (well, Steve Austin’s finisher) and the canned crowd noise goes WILD, marking the only time in history that Disco has been better than Al Green.

Early in the show, Bam Bam Bigelow calls out Scott Hall for a ladder match with a low-key brutal promo. It’s basically a Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer promo, except the guy delivering it looks like a fire demon from a biker bar in Hell instead of the Kirkland Signature Flyin’ Brian.

“When I first came on the scene here at WCW I had one objective … one primary mission. And that was to be — defeat Bill Goldberg, and take him out. And I’m not gonna stop until that mission is accomplished, but lately there’s been a lil’ EAR-FERENCE… a little static, a little static lick-lick-lectricity so to speak, and that’s you Scott Hall. Because if you think for one second, one iota, one [brain goes blank] idea that you can zap Bam Bam Bigelow and get away with it, you’re dead wrong.”

He ends it with, “You put up, Scott Hall, and you shut up! Cause I will show you exactly what hardcore and extreme is tonight!” Before the promo’s even over, Nash is in picture-in-picture quoting The Elephant Man in a funny voice.

The match Hall and Bigelow end up having is far superior to the one Hall had with Goldberg at Souled Out, mostly because Bigelow is an actual professional wrestler and not a raw, screaming football nerve, so he can do more than one thing. The Souled Out match ended with Hall using a taser on both Goldberg and Bigelow, so the Nitro version ends with Goldberg using the taser on Bigelow and Hall. The run-in follow-up to a run-in needs to end with a third, unrelated run-in, so Scott Norton shows up and attacks Goldberg from behind. You know where this is going.

BEHOLD! The incredible agility of Bill Goldberg!

Goldberg wins because powerslams don’t hurt him, which we’ll call a reverse WrestleMania 36.

The nWo B-Team tries to jump him after the match, but he easily dispatches them. Still, to help defend him from additional waves of New World Order cronies, the ring fills up with all the celebrities and athletes in attendance. Goldberg’s got a DIRECT-TO-DVD summon, I guess. The Goldberg Gulch Gang is, from left to right:

• Chuck Norris, whom you may know from memes, or from the time he karate kicked Jeff Jarrett to help a necromancer avoid being above-ground buried by a sumo champion
• one-dimensional NHL great Brett Hull, who was more or less the spoiled rich kid from your favorite children’s hockey movie who joins the team and is really good but doesn’t get along with anybody
• 1988 Kumite champion Frank Dux, attempting to maintain some level of anonymity by posing as Belgian action star “Jean-Claude Van Damme”
• then-recent NFL retiree Herschel Walker, seen here proclaiming his allegiance to Roc Nation

The fact that SuperBrawl didn’t feature Goldberg, Chuck Norris, JCVD, Brett Hull, and Herschel Walker in a 10-man tag against Vince, Brian Adams, Scott Norton, Horace Hogan, and Stevie Ray is unforgivable.

Best: The Dungeon Of Dudes

If you’re wondering where that “WCW roster” that ran out to make the save for Ric Flair in the main event came from, they were in the building as security lumberjacks for the Tag Team Championship tournament match between the Faces of Fear and “Finlay and Taylor.” Finlay and Taylor is my third favorite singer-songwriter duo from the 1970s. Order is maintained and the match goes to completion, with the most notable thing being Jimmy Hart’s attempt to rebuild a Netflix Marvel version of the Dungeon of Doom.

Meet Jimmy’s “First Family,” a Continental Wrestling Association throwback that includes Meng, The Barbarian, The Laughing Man HUMOROUS, and eventually both KARATE MAN Jerry Flynn and one of the Nasty Boys getting a singles push. They never retrieve any butt-humping mummies from the north face of Mt. Everest and never any monster truck battles on any arena rooves, but at least their entrance theme is a Scorpions rip-off. In a better world, they kept The Giant from leaving WCW and got the band back together for one more run at Hulkamania.

Oh No, Someone Booked Norman Smiley Against A Man In A Dress

Someone looked at a list of current WCW gimmicks, saw “Perry Saturn wears a dress” and “Norman Smiley pretends to have sex with peoples’ butts” side by side, dropped their coffee mug like in The Usual Suspects, and immediately booked it.

Near the end of the match, Norman realizes that his regularly scheduled fit of phantom humping will be even more dynamic if he’s able to flip up his opponent’s skirt for total pantomimed sexual dominance.

Saturn beats the shit out of Norman for the indignity and attempts a Big Wiggle of his own, which looks less like aggressive buttsex and more like a cat trying to cover a turd with litter.

Meanwhile, disgraced referee Scott Dickinson sits in the crowd in a plain khaki hat like a complete serial killer and loudly complains to anyone who’ll listen about how it’s actually the referees being screwed by WCW, not the wrestlers. I guess he’s never watched the last five minutes of any Nitro ever. Ask not for whom the Big Wiggle wiggles, Scott; it wiggles for thee.

Next Week:

Hardcore icon The Sandman makes his WCW debut and immediately loses, because WCW. Plus, Hollywood Hogan does another segment where he hangs out with the Hell’s Angels to look cool, Eric Bischoff spends the night in a worked parking lot dunk tank, and the legend LASH LEROUX makes his first Nitro appearance. See you next week, when we laissez les bon temps rouler!

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With the economy taking a huge hit from the coronavirus pandemic, millions of Americans are feeling the pinch. And many are expressing frustration that the $1,200 stimulus check from the government will barely cover one month of rent or mortgage payment, if even that.

Vic DiBitetto, a comedian with a classic Italian New Yorker vibe, went on an epic, profanity-laden rant about how the government and large companies are handling these economic woes. Giving us $1,200 of our own money back while big companies get windfalls of cash in tax breaks and bailouts? Mortgage companies delaying payments for a few months, but then expecting people to pay those missing payments in full when those few months are up, when people haven’t had any income? Yeah, no.

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(Warning: Lots of f-bombs and other profanities in this video, so folks with kiddos, watch with discretion. And be prepared to be virtually spit on once he really gets going.)

DiBitetto’s “ticked off” rant has gone viral on Reddit and Facebook, with people loving his way of explaining what many Americans are currently feeling. Commenters agree that his angry-yet-eloquent arguments are worth listening to, if you aren’t too put off by swearing and spittle.

As folks wrote on Reddit wrote:

“I did not expect such a coherent argument that I would 100% agree with when this video started.”

“Even when I agree with someone I normally won’t listen to them screaming for 4 minutes. I actually listened through the whole thing. He is just extremely well spoken for the type of screaming he is doing. And the end with his head gesture was perfect.”

“I can’t even come close to a coherent argument like this even when I’m not mad.”

“I was fully prepared for bullshit and then it was just completely logical thoughts and I was not prepared for it lol”

How refreshing to have our expectations and assumptions turned on their heads. Thanks, Vic, for expressing what many Americans are feeling right now.

Ariana Grande first came to mainstream pop culture prominence with her role as Cat Valentine in the Nickelodeon series Victorious, but her career in entertainment actually began before that. When she was 15 years old, in 2008, she made her Broadway debut in the musical 13. Now Grande is set to return to her roots on an upcoming livestream concert, for which she will join two Broadway icons.

Tony Award-winning composer Jason Robert Brown usually makes a monthly appearance at Manhattan venue SubCulture, but for obvious reasons, that will not be happening in April. Instead, he is hosting a livestream concert, and he will be joined by Grande. Brown, by the way, created 13, Grande’s debut Broadway show. The two will also be joined by Shoshana Bean, who has performed in productions of Hairspray and Wicked, among other notable shows.

The performance will benefit SubCulture staff, and it is set to take place on Monday, April 27 at 8 p.m. ET on SubCulture’s Facebook page and Brown’s Vimeo channel.

Brown said of the performance, “I had to figure out some way to let these notes and words in my head come out and be shared with my collaborators and my audience, and so, here we are. All of us in our homes, making music however and whenever we can, with an amazing team to help pull it all together, and two of the greatest singers on the planet Earth: the patron saint of the SubCulture Residency, Shoshana Bean, and Grammy-winner, icon and total theater nerd Ariana Grande. We’ve put together a show about what we’ve lost, what we’ve discovered and what we’re grateful for, and I can’t wait to share it with you.”

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