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Here are your quick and dirty, editorial-free AEW Dynamite results for May 13, 2020. The show featured a Women’s Fatal Four-Way, Chris Jericho versus the man known as Pineapple Pete, and more. Make sure you’re here tomorrow for the complete Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite column.

AEW Dynamite Results:

— Lance Archer beat up a crew member on the way to the ring, with Jake the Snake Roberts. Jake said he’ll apologize to Brandi Rhodes just as soon as she kisses his ass, and that a woman’s place is at home. He was interrupted by Cody revving the engine of his truck and driving it into the arena. Cody and Archer brawled until Jake and Archer left.

1. Best Friends defeated Jurassic Express. Fenix attacked Orange Cassidy at ringside, then MJF attacked Jungle Boy while Referee Aubrey Edwards was distracted. Chuck Taylor hit the Awful Waffle on Jungle Boy to get the pin. After the match, Wardlow attacked Marko Stunt at ringside.

— Jon Moxley angrily refused an interview on his way into the arena.

2. Hikara Shida defeated Penelope Ford, Britt Baker, and Kris Statlander. Shida pinned Ford after a running knee, while Baker had Statlander in the Lockjaw at ringside.

— Suge D cut a backstage promo saying that he was initially insulted by the nickname Pineapple Pete, but he’s learned to embrace it.

3. Kenny Omega and Matt Hardy defeated Proud & Powerful. Omega hit Ortiz with the V-Trigger, and Hardy followed up with the Twist of Fate for a pin.

— Backstage, Taz attempted to apologize to Darby Allin for offending him last week by talking about why he lost to Cody, but he ended up going on about it again until Darby stopped him and left.

— Nyla Rose interrupted a Hikaru Shida interview to say that she brought Shida a present. She hit her with a kendo stick and yelled “I found your kendo stick, bitch!” Shida will face Rose for the Women’s Championship at Double Or Nothing.

4. MJF defeated Lee Johnson. Johnson tapped out to an armbar. After the match, MJF took a mic and called out Jungle Boy, who he’ll face at Double Or Nothing. He also announced he’ll be facing Marko Stunt next week.

5. Chris Jericho (with the Inner Circle) defeated Pineapple Pete/Suge D. Pete got some offense in as the match began, but Jericho won a quick pinfall with the Judas Effect.

— On behalf of the entire Inner Circle, Chris Jericho challenged the Elite to a Stadium Stampede match at Double Or Nothing. Vanguard 1 appeared to accept the challenge for the Elite. Jericho told Vanguard 1 that his invitation to join the Inner Circle was rescinded, because they already have a sixth member, a baseball bat named Floyd. Then he used Floyd to destroy Vanguard 1. Matt Hardy entered as the Inner Circle fled, and mourned Vanguard 1.

6. Brodie Lee defeated Christopher Daniels. The Exalted One pinned Daniels after a Discus Lariat.

— Jon Moxley came down through the stands and beat up a bunch of Dark Order minions, but Brodie Lee escaped with the stolen AEW World Title. Moxley grabbed a mic and said that he can admire guts but will not suffer disrespect, and that Lee will pay for stealing the belt.

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At the peak of his prime in Orlando, Dwight Howard was considered the most dominant big man in the NBA and even drew comparisons to a young Shaquille O’Neal. Nevermind how poorly Shaq reacted to those comparisons. Howard won three straight Defensive Player of the Year awards and led the Magic to the 2009 Finals, where they would fall to the eventual champion Lakers.

In order to get there, he had to get past LeBron and the Cavs, who seemed predestined for a showdown with Kobe and the Lakers before Howard spoiled the ubiquitous Nike commercials that tried so desperately to will it into being. Howard and LeBron were Eastern Conference foes for many years, but never did he dream he would one day team up with the King.

Flash forward to the 2019-2020 season, and not only is Howard playing alongside LeBron, he’s doing it with the organization where he had a disastrous and short-lived stint back in 2012. And before the pandemic put the season hold, Howard was proving that he could still make meaningful contributions to a team with title aspirations.

If you ask Howard about it, he can still hardly believe any of it is true, as he told Jared Dudley in an Instagram Live interview on Wednesday.

“Man, it’s been wild, man. I remember telling my sister, man, me and LeBron been playing against each other since we were 15, 16 years old. And I was like, man, we’ll never play with each other, you know? We always, like, playing against each other. All of a sudden, we end up teammates. I couldn’t believe it. And I’m like wow, this is crazy, I’m playing with LeBron James. It’s still shocking. We like brothers from another mother. It’s crazy. It’s crazy.”

Lakers fans had mostly shown that they could forgive and forget, giving Howard the much-needed clean slate he’d been hoping for as he made himself a valuable rotation piece. The Lakers had raced out to a 49-14 record and the top spot in the West before the shutdown and looked poised for a deep postseason run.

With the NBA currently trying to figure out how to safely resume the season, Howard might yet have a chance to bring things full circle and handle unfinished business from his first-time around in Los Angeles nearly a decade ago.

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One of the most divisive things you can say to a whiskey fan is “I like flavored whiskey.” To many whiskey aficionados, adding any flavoring to whiskey is the equivalent of adding hot sauce to your chocolate milk. They believe that if the whiskey is well-made, it doesn’t need to be tainted by the addition of caramel, vanilla, cinnamon, or any other (sometimes overpowering) flavor.

If you really want to change the flavor of a whiskey, these purists say, just mix it into a cocktail like an old fashioned or whiskey sour. Wesley MacDonald, owner of Caña Bar and Kitchen in Curaçao agrees with that sentiment.

“I cannot name any flavored whiskey which I could appreciate,” he says. “If you do want some fruit flavors in your whiskey, muddle some seasonal fruit or herbs and add some sweetener, and create your own flavored whiskey drink.”

Since we like to stir up booze-related controversy whenever possible, we decided that we’re not going to settle for that answer. It’s too easy. To cut and dry. So we decided to ask some of our favorite bartenders to tell us their choices for the flavored whiskeys actually worth trying. Believe it or not, they actually came up with some winners (plus, you know Fireball got shouted out).

Journeyman Pit-Spitter

Hayden Miller, head bartender at Bodega Taqueria y Tequila in Miami

While I am not a huge fan of flavored whiskeys, Journeyman Distilling does a cherry rye called Pit-Spitter. It’s a limited release but the tartness of those fresh Michigan cherries with their rye whiskey is quite the Midwestern summer combo.

Fireball Cinnamon Whisky

Justin Monell, general manager of BLVD & MAIN Taphouse in Las Vegas

If I’m going to sip on some flavored whiskey. It’s probably going to be at a tailgate or some other party-like event and it’s going to be Fireball Cinnamon Whisky. It’s a classic and I love the heat.

Pennington’s Strawberry Rye

Ellen Talbot, lead bartender at Fable Lounge in Nashville

Pennington’s Strawberry Rye. Strawberry is a flavor found in a lot of higher-end rye whiskeys, so to accentuate it just makes sense. Pennington’s is also a Nashville company, which I appreciate.

Knob Creek Smoked Maple

Matt Shields, bartender at The Bay Restaurant in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida

My go-to flavored whiskey is Knob Creek Smoked Maple. While sweet and flavored whiskey is not my thing, smoked maple can be made into a serious brunch bomb. Swing by The Bay and I’ll make you one. Better yet, just stay home and drink it.

Wild Turkey American Honey

Blake Jones, bartender and director of beverage at The Kennedy in Pensacola, Florida

Usually, the only flavored whiskey I drink is whiskey flavored. But if I have to pick one, I’ll say Wild Turkey American Honey, because of Jimmy Russell. Everything he’s involved with is great. If you’re into sweet, honey-filled whiskey than this one is for you.

Modus Hoperandi Hop Whiskey

Danielle Becker, bartender at the Aspen Meadows Resort in Aspen, Colorado

Colorado local favorites Ska Brewing and Peach Street Distillers got together and made something magical. They call it Modus Hoperandi Hop Whiskey, and I love it. It’s smooth, easy to drink with just a hint of floral hops presence.

Wild Turkey Spiced Bourbon

Freddy Concepcion Ucan Tuz, bartender at JW Marriott in Cancun, Mexico

Wild Turkey Spiced Bourbon: The flavor of vanilla in the Whiskey makes this drink especially common in cocktails or during Christmas, I like to serve it with a cinnamon stick in it.

Writer’s Picks:

Leopold Bros. Michigan Cherry Whiskey

Many people believe that flavored whiskeys are a contemporary creation. In reality, distillers have been adding fruit juices to whiskeys during aging for over 100 years. Leopold Bros. wanted to revive this style by launching a few flavored whiskeys. One of the best is the distillery’s Michigan Cherry Whiskey with tart cherry juice added to their bourbon before aging. The result is a subtly spicy whiskey with hints of vanilla, dried cherries, and caramel.

George Dickel Tabasco Barrel Finish

When it comes to flavored whiskey, your mind probably heads to cinnamon before literal hot sauce. But that didn’t stop Tabasco and George Dickel from getting together to create a sweet, smooth whiskey with subtle heat at the end. It pairs well with rich foods or to spice up your favorite cocktail.

The coronavirus lockdowns are driving everyone crazy, there’s no denying that. But if your anger at the state of the world ever causes you to come to blows with someone who is just trying to do their job — you’re taking sh*t too far. Especially if the source of your anger is that you have to wait too long to get some cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster.

In a video that has since gone viral, one woman can be seen getting entirely too mad after being forced outside of a Red Lobster in Pennsylvania over Mother’s Day Weekend after demanding a refund because of a three-hour wait for her food.

The video was captured by an unrelated patron and begins with the customer being pushed outside of a Red Lobster by an employee while she demands a refund. After giving her name to a separate employee inside the restaurant, the patron takes advantage of a brief moment of calm to strike the manager in the face, leading to a brawl that ends with three other Red Lobster employees trying to separate the two.

It should be noted that under Pennsylvania’s current state orders, restaurants are only allowed to serve customers via delivery or curbside pickup, so how and why a maskless woman (her name has been released, sadly, it’s not “Karen”) ended up in the Red Lobster in the first place is beyond us. Red Lobster issued a statement to USA Today regarding the incident and the general long wait times customers experienced over Mother’s Day weekend (a particularly busy time for Red Lobster) writing:

“We understand that we may have disappointed some of our guests on Mother’s Day when due to COVID-19 and changes to our operations and staffing, we were not able to keep up with the demand at some of our locations… that said, we do not tolerate violence for any reason in our restaurants. We expect our team members to treat our guests with respect, and we expect our guests to treat our team members with respect in return. We are grateful our Manager and the guest involved were not seriously injured in the incident on Sunday.”

The patron’s actions will now be forever immortalized on Twitter, where folks have more or less spent the whole day wondering how anyone could ever justifiably get this mad over the food at Red Lobster.

When 54-year-old Gregg Garfield traveled to Italy on a ski trip with friends in February, he had no idea he would become a Providence Saint Joseph Hospital’s first coronavirus patient, nor that he would fight for his life there for more than two months straight.

He and the dozen friends with him on the trip ended up testing positive for the virus. Four of them had to be hospitalized, three were put on ventilators, but Garfield’s case took an extreme turn. Despite his athleticism and good health, he ended up on a ventilator for 31 days. At one point, was only given a 1% chance of survival.

“He wasn’t that bad when he came into the emergency room,”pulmonologist Dr. Daniel Dea told KABC-TV, “and within less than 48 hours, he wasn’t breathing well. He was on maximum oxygen.”

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It’s a good reminder that COVID-19 is unpredictable, and that for some people, a robust immune system ends up hurting more than helping. “The disease kicked off, and my immune system just ate me alive,” Garfield told KCAL-TV.

Garfield’s sister Stephanie offered some details of his terrifying journey on a GoFundMe page for him:

“On March 5, 2020 Gregg checked himself into St. Joseph’s Providence Hospital Burbank with serious Covid-19 symptoms. He was the hospital’s first Covid-19 patient, or “Patient Zero” as they call him. Two days later, under heavy sedation and paralytic drugs, the doctors intubated him- around day 10 doing a tracheostomy- and he continued to be on a ventilator for 31 days. During that time his body became septic; his kidneys failed and he was put on CRRT dialysis; his blood pressure plummeted and he needed medications to divert his blood-flow to his major organs for survival, leaving his hands and feet starving for circulation; he spiked fevers and was covered in ice; his lungs collapsed 4 times and chest tubes were inserted; and he developed secondary infections that are common in hospital environments. He had a 1% chance of surviving. The doctors and nursing staff had to always remain 3 steps ahead of any potential disasters because to enter his room took about 15 minutes for them to gear up in their hazmat attire. Gregg knocked on death’s door, but said “F#$% NO! I’m not coming in!!!”

On Friday, Garfield finally got to leave the hospital and go home—to a rousing and heartwarming send-off from hospital staff:

“This is really emotional for me,” Garfield told KCAL-TV. “I have a hard time receiving. I have received an outpour of unbelievable love. The only thing I really am focused on right now is telling the story about how real this is.”

Garfield still has a long road ahead of him as his body learns to walk and breathe normally again. An update on the GoFundMe page describes the impact of being bedridden and ventilated for as long as he was: “The sustained lack of circulation to his extremities caused his fingers and toes to turn black, similar to a frostbite injury. This caused permanent damage and unfortunately once he is released from acute rehab, he will be looking at additional surgeries for amputation, prostheses and of course more physical/occupational therapy as he learns to navigate this new world.”

However, Garfield is confident he will recover completely—which is the best gift he could give to the dedicated hospital staff who never gave up on him.

No better feeling than knowing there are monthly goodies heading your way.

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