Hire someone to do this, loves.

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Devices, gadgets, and accessories that already come with a stamp of approval.

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The federal government recommends no one attend gatherings of more than 10 people, but some churches are still encouraging big congregations to attend Easter Sunday services.

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I *knew* I recognized that voice.

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The Weeknd‘s After Hours has become the first album to sit atop the Billboard albums charts for three consecutive weeks since Post Malone’s 2019 album Hollywood’s Bleeding. In its first week, the record sold a total of 444,000 equivalent album units sold, while the second week added 138,000 more.

As his latest entered its third week, The Weeknd faced a bit of controversy after he said he was “angry” that Usher created a “Weeknd song” for his 2012 hit, namely the Diplo-produced “Climax.” Usher delivered an indirect response to the comments while fans voiced their anger with The Weeknd. Nonetheless, After Hours came in at No. 1 for a third week thanks to 90,000 equivalent album units sold. Of that number, 64,000 were streaming equivalent album units and 23,000 were in album sales.

Looking at the rest of the field, Rod Wave and his sophomore album, Pray 4 Love debuted at No. 2 with 72,000 equivalent album units, while Lil Uzi Vert’s Eternal Atake holds onto the third position for another week, with 69,000 equivalent album units. Rounding out the top five, Lil Baby’s My Turn jumped two positions to come in at No. 4 and Sam Hunt’s Southside grabbed the No. 5 position.

Other notable albums in the top 10 include Roddy Ricch’s Please Excuse Me for Being Antisocial at No. 7, Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia at No. 8, and Jhené Aiko’s Chilombo at No. 10.

Read our review of After Hours here.

[via Billboard]

The NBA, like every other sports league in the United States, is currently playing the waiting game, hoping that they can return at some point this summer if the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic can be slowed sufficiently.

In the meantime, all the league can do is plan for various contingencies depending on how things go over the coming months. One such plan is a “bubble league” of sorts, in which teams are effectively quarantined together in one location to play out the remainder of the season and/or playoffs, with no fans in attendance.

One of the questions facing the league is how long would they need to give players and teams before restarting games, given that the vast majority of players will have gone months without playing basketball or even being able to shoot for months. Some have suggested they would need as few as two weeks or as much as one month, and according to ESPN’s Brian Windhorst, the league has crafted a 25-day “return to basketball” plan that includes 11 days of individual workouts practicing social distancing and then a 14-day training camp once the league is cleared to do so.

The issue with this plan — like all the others — is that there is no timeline for the virus to go away and without massive testing improvements and the availability of rapid testing for the NBA, there’s no way to be confident in clearing players to go ahead with 5-on-5 activities. Given what we know about the way the virus can spread from asymptomatic people — and that the league has had numerous asymptomatic cases — there would have to be a testing protocol in place in such a plan.

For now, all the league can do is try to figure all of these things out and, at the least, it seems like there is a plan in place. The question now is whether they get to enact it.

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The most recent SNL was arguably their oddest episode since the one in 1979 where a cranky Milton Berle hosted alongside free jazz pioneer Ornette Coleman, with the quarantined cast doing sketches in isolation, from the privacy of their own homes. With its low-res webcam images and spotty sound, it had the feel of public access television, only starring famous people (and their even more famous guests) in a timeslot that’s been held for nearly half a century. But there was one sketch that didn’t involve peering into some performer’s living room or home office: a cartoon that offered a dark and sad look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles if they got older.

Granted, “Middle-Aged Ninja Turtles” doesn’t have the same ring to it. (Nor does it have the same number of consonants to get highlighted on this excellent Twitter account.) But failure was the general vibe of the sketch, which finds Michelangelo fighting his estranged wife for custody of the kids, Raphael frowning while checking his weight, and Donatello getting a call from his PCP about a suspicious lump on his spine.

“They came from mutagens in secret ooze/Now they do their own shopping at Whole Foods,” goes the opening credits song, which adds that “They used to be so cool/Now they drive their spoiled kids to school.” It’s a grim look at the boredom and melancholy of middle age, when bodies start failing, dreams recede into the past, and life becomes powerfully mundane. Even Shredder has died, albeit not from any of their hands; he simply got too old. The worst bit was saved for the song’s final line: “All of them are sober now/Turtle Power!”

Anyway, as the Stones said, what a drag it is getting old. In fact, since the Turtles first appeared in 1984, that means they’re probably in their 50s now. Of course, so are Keanu Reeves and Brad Pitt, so maybe age really is only a number. And at least they’re still young and teenaged on their fifth and latest animated show.

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Twitch streams across the world are seeing additional viewers thanks to social distancing keeping everyone inside with not much to do, but not every stream is the most entertaining. In the “At Home” version of Saturday Night Live, that notion is taken to the extreme with a streamer who is absolutely terrible at Call of Duty‘s battle royale mode, Warzone.

In the sketch, Day plays Cam Playz Dat, who has decided to make the switch from Fortnite to Warzone. And it immediately goes poorly. Day dies almost instantly, and his respawn gets sniped as well. The comment section starts lighting him up, and Cam actually pleads with those watching to stop camping out near the respawn points so he can actually play.

Even when he manages to get going, though, he doesn’t last long. The point of the sketch is perhaps to say that not every streamer is great at games, and that when you’re not very good it doesn’t make for a very entertaining show.

In this case, however, SNL did do its research. Warzone has seen more than 50 million people give the free-to-play mode a shot in the last few weeks of self-quarantine, which is a pretty strong showing for a mode that’s barely a month old. Maybe with some practice Cam can get a bit better at it and his stream will improve. But then again, he can always just go back to Fortnite.