We have reached that point in summer when Hollywood takes a break. By mid to late August, the new releases in theaters are the summer stragglers, the films that wanted to be summer hits but knew they had no chance against the blockbusters of May, June, and July. Television is also taking a little break, save for the prequel series of that big show based on very long books that are coming to HBO soon. This is all a long way of saying you need something to watch, and it should be Elvis.
The exuberant, ridiculous Elvis Pressly biopic from the very exuberant and often ridiculous Australian director Baz Luhrmann hit theaters in May and has remained a box office hit since. Now, it is available to rent for $19.99 at home. You should see it in theaters, but if you’re wary about being in a public space right now and/or if it is too hot outside for you to go from inside your home to inside a movie theater to watch Elvis, that’s fine. The 2-hour and 39-minute epic starring Austin Butler and Tom Hanks is a non-stop thrill. When it drags, it’s still one of the most fast-paced, ridiculously entertaining things ever made. Even if you hate the movie, you will have enjoyed the truly singular experience. Here are all of the reasons you should watch Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis:
Chaos King Baz Lurhman
WB
Sunscreen activist Baz Lurhman is a chaos king. The innovative, flashy director of Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge! does not always hit: Australia is a snooze, and not even Leonardo DiCaprio could save the alluring adaptation of The Great Gatsby. But one thing is always true of Baz Luhrmann’s films: they are theatrical visual feasts, blending elements of musical theater and music videos into cinema. Elvis — or at least its first hour — might be Lurhman’s most chaotic cinema to date, with visually busy scenes that move so quickly they practically overlap. . If you were given a quiz on what happened in the first act, it would have to be graded on a curve. As the film gets into Elvis’s later career, however, it narrows its focus, which, in contrast, gets deeper into Elvis’s psyche. The latter half of the film is still chaotic in that classic Baz way, but is nothing short of a masterpiece in its depiction and analysis of Elvis in his later career and toward the end of his short life.
Austin Butler
warner bros.
Denzel Washington, who believed in Austin Butler so much that he personally called Baz Luhrmann about casting the actor in Elvis, is right to be obsessed. Butler’s committed, transformative performance as the King of Rock has several stages. In the first half of the film, we see an intentional separation of Butler from Elvis in his earlier years, as he’s playing a man who is conflicted about his fame and who he is: Elvis is lost and confused, which Butler takes advantage of by playing so himself, in a sort of meta way that nearly breaks the fourth wall. But as the film goes on and as Elvis gets more comfortable with himself and his fame. As Elvis unravels, Butler disappears into the character, leaving behind the unsure young man from earlier in the film. Butler should get at least a nomination for best actor at the Oscars next year, and even though there are many more films to see, I know I will be mad if he doesn’t win. Elvis is already doing for Austin butler what Romeo + Juliet did for Dicaprio: turning its lead into a heartthrob and one of Hollywood’s major players. (Since Elvis’ release, Butler joined the cast of Dune Part II)
Tom Hanks
WB
Many have said that Tom Hanks is terrible in Elvis. His accent is bad. He’s wearing a fat suit and prosthetics (he honestly kind of looks like my maternal grandfather, may he rest in peace). On the surface, everything about Hanks’ performance in Elvis is bad, but there’s a bit of genius behind it. For decades, Hanks has been America’s dad, always expected to play the hero or the love interest, the nice guy. Here, Hanks finally transforms into an unrecognizable villain as Elvis’ financially predatory manager Colonel Tom Parker. Every actor — especially as they get older — deserves to unleash Willem Dafoe in The Lighthouse-level chaos every once in a while. The performance demonstrates that Hanks has even more of this chaotic energy deep inside him, and he just needs the right director to get it out of him.
The Sweat
Warner Bros.
They don’t make movies like they used to anymore. In the 70s and 80s, movies — such as Dog Day Afternoon,Body Heat, and Top Gun —were incredibly sweaty, with characters drenched in sweat constantly either due to their environment or surroundings, or to simply create some drama. Sweaty movies are a rare gift these days, but in Elvis, Luhrmann shows respect for the wet look. At every opportunity possible, Austin Butler is drenched from head to toe. In between takes, I like to imagine Austin Butler walking through a misty waterfall. The sweat doesn’t always make sense, but we’re happy to see a return of Hollywood’s Wet Period anyway. Thank you, Baz!
Mic in Mouth
warner bros.
In Elvis, Austin Butler deep throats a microphone during a performance. This happened in real life, but for some reason, Austin Butler doing it is even better than the real Elvis doing it (if you are an Academy voter, please remember this). A microphone in the mouth also represents Luhrmann and this film best: unexpected, weird, kind of horny.
It feels like it’s been years in the making (that’s because it has been) but the time is finally here for the Game of Thrones spinoff series to reign. And, more importantly, see if it will live up to the major hype. HBO released a new promo clip that will hopefully invite new and old fans into George R. R. Martin‘s ever-growing world of dragons and violence…and more dragons!
The new clip shows off some of the many dragons that will be featured in the series, each with their own personality. The promo also promises that the threat of war lingers around the Targaryen family, who are set to choose the new heir to the throne, though we can assume by the trailers that it does not go to Daemon Targaryen (Matt Smith) as originally expected. Luckily, Rhaenyra is a fighter who is willing to prove herself to be an adequate ruler. Plus, dragons!
House of the Dragon takes place several hundred years before the familiar Game of Thrones story took place, though the new series will provide some context to the complex family lines and dynasties. And, of course, more dragons!
The cast also includes Paddy Constantine, Olivia Cooke, Emma D’Arcy, Rhys Ifans, Steve Toussaint, Eve Best, Fabien Frankel, and Sonoya Mizuno. Check out the trailer above, and tune into House of the Dragon this Sunday, August 21st on HBO Max.
A few things are true here, and it will help to get them out of the way as quickly as possible, just to get to the good stuff. Here we go:
Better Call Saul is over, bringing an end to a 14-year journey that started way back in 2008 when Walter White learned he had cancer in the pilot of Breaking Bad
Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould have said they are now done with this universe and do not, at present, have any plans to revisit any of it at any point going forward
I am going to make up some additional potential spinoffs anyway
I’m sorry. I can’t help it. There are a lot of reasons this is about to happen. One is that this crew already took a thinly-drawn goof from one all-time great show and built an entire new series around him that might have surpassed the original, so there is precedent here. Another is that we have all spent those 14 years in this universe and it has yet to disappoint and I am not ready to say goodbye. Another is that… well, it’s just fun to play in these kinds of sandboxes for a while. Building little castles and knocking them over, all of it. We can have fun. There’s nothing stopping us. It’s harmless.
And so, here we go, ten pitches for additional spinoff series that could extend the Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul universe a tiny bit longer. Or ruin it completely. There’s a reason these people made these shows and I do lunatic posts like this. We all have our own little parts to play in life.
Home Sweet Supermax
AMC
We saw about five total minutes of Saul/Jimmy moving around in the prison system in the finale and it was enough to send my brain on a rollercoaster. There were hardened criminals chanting his catchphrase on a bus. He was using his Cinnabon skills to make dough in the kitchen. He seemed to be massively popular with everyone, just based on the number of times people said “Hey, Saul” as he was walking past them. We can work with this.
The thing to remember is that Jimmy and Saul and Gene all had the same brain and they all could not help themselves from running schemes and scams of varying complexity. Do you really think he is just going to stop doing that? Do you think he could if he wanted to? No and no, this man is absolutely running grifts in that Supermax, schmoozing guards into double desserts, playing peacemaker between rival prison gangs, all of it. He’s already been sentenced to 86 years in prison. There’s really nothing to lose by dancing around whatever gray areas he can find.
I picture him, after about five years in there, with a recliner and a big-screen television and a mini-fridge full of mint chocolate chip ice cream all in his cell, all thanks to various trades and favors he’s been a part of in his time there. Do not tell me you can’t see this either.
The Sprinkler Wars
AMC
Quick thoughts, rough version:
Kim at the sprinkler office in Florida
Doing sprinkler things
A rival sprinkler company tries to move in on their territory
She gets the itch and gets tempted with shenanigans again and has to fight the urge to take it too far
Tammy the Receptionist gets way into the schemes to distract her from the doofus she’s with, the one who got her an exercise bike for her birthday
The season one finale takes place at a big sprinkler convention where Kim and her lunch ladies replace their rivals’ slideshow presentation with pictures of animals going to the bathroom. Or something. Chaos in a ballroom is the point.
The Rise of Don Eladio
AMC
I love Don Eladio. I love him so much. The man just sits around by his pool with a cigar in his hand and a fire raging in the fire pit and he plans international drug crimes with a huge smile on his face. I get happy every time he shows up. I must know more about him. I must know everything. As soon as possible.
We can go as far back as they want. Or we can just run it all simultaneously to the action in the other two shows, solely from Don Eladio’s perspective, if we want to keep Steven Bauer in the role, which we do. Show me what he’s up to on a daily basis, between those meetings at the fire pit. Let me into his life. Give me a five-minute montage of him buying loud shirts at an upscale outdoor mall. I am begging you. I need this.
The Big Easy
AMC
This one is pretty straightforward and based on the thing where we know Huell left for his home in Louisiana after things went sideways for him in New Mexico. What we have here:
Huell
In New Orleans
Picking pockets on Bourbon Street
Getting looped into some other underworld hijinks after picking the wrong pocket
Maybe he has a dog now. A dog named Sazerac.
No need to complicate this one.
Young Lalo
AMC
Lalo Salamanca was the most fascinating character on television from the moment he burst through the roof of that Los Pollos all the way up through to his last moments on screen. The man was a walking charisma bomb, a violent killer who cloaked it all in smiles and floral print shirts, a guy who was probably a blast to be around when he wasn’t trying to murder you. And even then, I mean, there are worse ways to go, right?
And so, we go back in time. Way back. Show me Lalo as a teenager. Show me him in school. Show me him laying the groundwork for the charming demon he later became. Or always was. I have no clue how we cast this, though. I don’t know how we can possibly improve on Tony Dalton’s performance. Right now, my best solution is “let Tony Dalton play a teenage Lalo Salamanca and have all the other characters pretend it’s normal.” Something to consider.
Untitled Shopping Mall Project
AMC
This one is pretty straightforward: A half-hour comedy, set in the mall in Omaha where Gene worked at the Cinnabon, and it follows all the other employees as they go about their days at work, folding clothes and selling cell phones at kiosks and meeting each other for slushies in the food court and falling in/out of love in a large suburban shopping center, but we pick up the action the morning after the news breaks that the manager of the Cinnabon was actually a notorious drug-adjacent fugitive who is about to stare down 86 years in a Supermax prison.
I worked in a mall when I was a teenager. The ladies who work in the department stores would have lived off of this information. For months. “I knew something seemed off about him,” etc etc etc. Great shows have been made with less.
Clean Break
AMC
THE PITCH: A show that follows the man and/or team behind Best Quality Vacuum Repair, the service Saul used to disappear into Omaha and almost used from a dumpster to disappear again, as they go about the business of making people vanish. Hopping on planes, inventing new identities, dealing with other issues related to the people-hiding business, all of it. It’s fascinating to me. I either need to know nothing more about it or every single thing there is to know.
THE COMPLICATION: In El Camino, the film tie-in to this whole universe, we learned that the vacuum business was run by a man named Ed Galbraith, who was played by Robert Forster, who a) never once disappointed on-screen, and b) passed away in 2019.
THE SOLUTION: His son takes over the business. And is played by… oh, let’s say Anthony Carrigan from Barry. No reason to pull back on any of these moonshots now.
Landlord Blues
AMC
Another simple one we can knock out with bullet points:
As we learned in the last few episodes, Francesca, Saul’s one-time legal secretary, is now a landlord with a bunch of goofus tenants who smoke weed and flush things down the toilet
I love her and would watch this show every week
I really wanted an excuse to use that GIF again
Moving on.
Days at Los Pollos
AMC
I could spell this whole thing out for you in borderline unsettling detail because I’ve been thinking about it for months but the short version looks something like this: It’s a mockumentary about the employees of Los Pollos Hermanos, where the staff makes chicken and hums the theme song and slowly — over the course of a few seasons — begins to notice that their boss, mild-mannered Gustavo Fring, seems to have a lot of secrets. They never put it together all the way, not fully at least, but they know something is up and they sure do love to speculate.
The complicating factor here is that, like, why would Gus, a notoriously private man who is running a restaurant as a cover for a multimillion-dollar methamphetamine business, willingly allow cameras anywhere near anything he is doing, ever? Which kind of tanks the mockumentary thing. I do really like the idea of a documentary crew walking into his office to film him and just getting stared at with ice-cold eyes until they back out of the room, though.
We can workshop this one.
Brotherly Love
AMC
What we know for certain here is that Mike used to be a cop in Philly and he took his first bribe in 1984 and yuuuup that’s enough for a television show. For me, at least, which is important here because I’m the one making the list. Mike running around Philly breaking bad, Mike eating cheesesteaks, Mike moonlighting as a security guard at Veterans Stadium for Eagles games. All of it. I’m ready whenever we can convince Gilligan and Gould to break down and do it.
Keep Jonathan Banks in the role, too. See what I care. Just have him keep playing younger versions of Mike Ehrmantraut as he very obviously ages until we have an 80-year-old man playing a 22-year-old police academy cadet. I am barely joking here.
The mix is pretty simple: Gin, citrus, sugar, egg white, and a little soda water for extra oompf is all it takes. But the balance of those ingredients is more delicate, and can make or break this cocktail. You’ll also need to shake this one twice. Which, I know, sounds labor intensive but it’s really not that bad. We’re talking two minutes tops instead of 30 seconds to make this one.
You can use any good London dry gin you have around. Standard Bombay Dry Gin is a good pick. So is Gordon’s. I’m using Costco’s Kirkland Signature London Dry Gin because it’s a decent version (likely made by Tanqueray or Gordon’s) and is $19 for 1.75 liters. It also has a nice, easygoing flavor profile that suits cocktails. The botanicals and juniper are there but it’s very soft.
The rest is pretty straightforward. I’d highly recommend using a medium-sized egg that’s farm fresh or pasteurized (if you’re worried about it).
Zach Johnston
What You’ll Need:
Cocktail shaker
Cocktail strainer
Paring knife
Hand juicer
Jigger
Collins glass or lowball glass
Method:
Prechill the glass in the freezer or fill it with ice and set it aside.
Add the two ounces gin, one ounce lemon juice, egg white, and half ounce simple syrup to a cocktail shaker. Affix the lid and dry shake (without ice) for about 15 seconds — this will help the proteins and sugars emulsify to create a frothy head.
Open the shaker and add a handful of ice. Re-affix the lid and shake for another 15 or until the shaker is ice cold to touch.
Fetch the glass — remove the ice if you used that method to cool it. Strain the cocktail into the prechilled glass. Let it sit for at least 60 seconds in a fridge.
Once the drink is set, gently pour about one ounce of fizzy soda water into the drink. This will raise the foam to the top of the glass. Serve.
Bottom Line:
Zach Johnston
This is a very quaffable cocktail. The mixture of egg white and sugar creates a silken texture that makes this a lush sipper.
The real star of the show is the botanical gin and bright lemon that comes through with just a touch of sweetness. It’s so refreshing and soft with a hint of floral undertones. It all goes down far too easily, especially on a hot day.
I’m trying to think of a drawback to these and I can’t find one. I think even if you’re not that into gin, this is still going to be a solid drink to try. It’s not that the gin is buried. It’s more that the gin takes a side seat to the egg white, lemon, and sugar with a bursting effervescence. Give it shot. You won’t be disappointed.
She-Hulk is a legal comedy in the spirit of Ally McBeal that’s already impressing fans with its debut outing. The CGI actually looks much better than expected, and details on Captain America’s sex life became canon, and not only that, but Jameela Jamil got her butt kicked by Tatiana Maslany on She-Hulk debut day, and yep, she also got a very NSFW injury while shooting.
That actually might not be the scene that Jameela was referring to while recently speaking with Entertainment Tonight. Jameela portrays “influencer” Titania, who happens to have super-strength and antagonizes Maslany’s Jennifer Walters character, who obviously Hulks out as the title indicates. Premiere day gave fans this quick little ditty of Titania being flung across the room like it ain’t no thing.
As Jameela told ET, she filmed many more action sequences that required tons of training, including “jiu jitsu and kung fu and combat in the air.” She revealed, “Oh, I did it all! I did it all.” And because Jameela did most of her stunts by herself, she ended up feeling the burn in, uh, her butt. “I was hurting in place that I really didn’t know exists,” she told ET. “Like, you’ll probably have to bleep this out, but I pulled a muscle in my a**hole” and “I didn’t know that was possible!”
Well, same! And then Jameela attempted to claim that she’s actually “the ultimate couch potato” when she’s not working. Whether or not that’s true, she does go through the paces on She-Hulk: Attorney At Law, which streams new Disney+ episodes on Thursday mornings.
Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson will miss the first 11 games of the 2022 NFL season. According to a leaked copy of the decision acquired by Massachusetts-based reporter Joseph Pasteris, the six-game suspension that Watson received from a third-party judge for violating the NFL’s Personal Conduct Policy due to sexual misconduct allegations has been lengthened, while he’s also been hit with a $5 million fine.
The news was confirmed by Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk, Jake Trotter of ESPN, and Ian Rapoport of NFL Network, all of whom said that the punishment comes after the NFL and the NFLPA struck an agreement to prevent Watson from having his suspension determined via appeal.
BREAKING: The NFL and NFLPA have agreed to a settlement on discipline for #Browns QB Deshaun Watson, who will serve an 11-game suspension and pay a $5 million fine for violating the league’s personal conduct policy, per league source.
As Rapoport noted, Watson is eligible to return in Week 13, when the Browns travel to Houston to take on his old team, the Texans.
The Browns acquired Watson earlier this offseason and gave him a lucrative contract extension despite the widespread belief that he would receive some sort of punishment from the league for the more than 20 allegations he faced of sexual misconduct. While a third-party judge determined that Watson would need to miss time and that he violated the Personal Conduct Policy, the ruling was far shorter than anticipated, as Watson was given a six-game suspension with no fine.
A provision in the league’s Collective Bargaining Agreement meant that the league could both appeal the decision and have the person who makes a ruling be appointed by Roger Goodell — if he wanted, Goodell could have heard the appeal on his own. Despite his looming suspension, Watson was able to make his debut for the Browns in a preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars on Aug. 12 in which he went 1-for-5 with seven passing yards.
If you want a boost of faith in the youth of today, look no further than Shreya and Saffron Patel.
In 2020, the world came to a screeching halt in a sweeping act of human solidarity against COVID-19. When it became clear that seniors were among the highest risk from the disease, the rest of us did what we could to protect them.
Unfortunately, protecting our elders meant staying away from them. Older folks are already more prone to loneliness than other age groups, and sadly the pandemic exacerbated the feeling of isolation many seniors experience.
The Patel sisters, 16 and 18 at the time, recognized the issue with their own grandparents early in the pandemic, so they made a point of calling them frequently. But when their grandmother shared how “ecstatic” she was at receiving a handwritten letter from a friend one day, they got an idea.
“This small gesture of connection meant the world to her,” says Shreya. “We realized that many other seniors may also be feeling disconnected, and that they may appreciate a letter.”
Shreya and Saffron reached out to local assisted living facilities and care homes in the Boston area to ask if it would be okay if they sent residents letters. The responses were enthusiastically positive. Demand quickly outpaced their own ability to write letters, so they decided to organize and invite others to join them.
Shreya and Saffron Patel started writing handwritten letters to seniors early in the pandemic. Photo credit: Chris Churchill
They dubbed their collective letter-writing effort Letters Against Isolation (LAI), and the idea quickly took off. What started as two sisters writing letters has now grown into an award-winning 501(c)(3) non-profit organization with a simple but powerful mission:
We fight senior loneliness one letter at a time. Through handwritten messages of love, hope, and joy, our volunteer community brings seniors connection and improves their mental and physical health.
In just over two years, LAI’s 28,000 volunteers have written more than 460,000 letters to seniors at assisted living homes and care facilities in seven countries—the US, Canada, Ireland, England, Australia, South Africa and Israel. Efforts have earned co-founder Shreya the prestigious Diana Award, an honor granted by the British government that recognizes young people who are working to improve the lives of others.
Anyone can sign up to write letters, and the Patels make use of Meta tools to help connect their network of volunteers. For instance, the Letters Against Isolation Facebook Group has connected over 2,000 members around the world who share ideas, experiences and photos of the handwritten letters they write. LAI has also partnered with companies, corporations, schools, churches and non-profit organizations to ensure lonely seniors get tangible reminders that people are thinking about them.
The Patels have organized the Anne Granville Stamp Fund, a donation program that helps provide postage stamps for LAI letter-writers, enabling more volunteers to participate. People are also encouraged to organize group events to create a large batch of letters at one time.
Posts shared in the LAI Facebook Group and their Instagram page show how much care and detail individuals put into their letters, creating colorful, cheerful cards and sharing joyful, hopeful messages that any person would be happy to receive.
The Patels tell Upworthy how impressed they’ve been with humanity coming together and showing kindness in difficult times, especially considering how scary everything felt early in the pandemic. “It would have been really easy for people to lean into that fear and only care for themselves. We have been struck by just how many people instead reached out and tried to do some good.”
The feedback from those who work in care facilities speaks to the power of these letters.
“When I walk through the halls, I can spy letters proudly displayed around many of the residents’ rooms,” said Hannah, activities director at Gadsen Health and Rehab Center. “Sometimes I’ll ask about the stories behind them, and it’s easy to sense how deeply personal they are to some residents.”
Christine, activities director at Shepherd’s Care Foundation agrees. “It is such a pleasure to deliver your letters from all over North America (so far) to our residents. The honor of being on the receiving end of their surprise and delight when every day we get to say to each of them…‘You have mail!’ Their faces are priceless, and their hearts are so warmed by your kindness…on their behalf, my most deep and sincere gratitude.”
Senior recipients have also expressed joy at getting the handwritten notes and their responses are so heartwarming.
“They really made my day,” said Florence after receiving her letters. “I enjoy them, I keep them, and I read them every day. The letters took me back to when I was a teenager receiving love letters!”
“The letters and cards made me feel very important,” said Hy, another senior. “It made me feel like someone was thinking of me.”
While we’ve spent over two years battling a viral pandemic, Shreya and Saffron have helped thousands spread thoughtfulness and kindness to fight the pandemic of loneliness. What a beautiful way to connect people and for younger generations to let older folks know they are not forgotten.
Although social media has been a huge boon in helping artists promote their work, it has also come with a huge drawback. In the era of the subtweet, any comment an artist makes in any medium will eventually make its way to Twitter, where overzealous fans will dissect it and reinterpret it for any trace of malice toward another artist (this is deranged behavior, by the way. Knock it off).
Savvy artists can do their best to get ahead of this phenomenon — or at least play defense a little — by making their own statements on Twitter to try and control the narrative. That’s what Kid Cudi did yesterday, perhaps sensing that one of his comments from a newly published Esquire cover story would be read the wrong way — or even seeing tweets already determining that he was being shady. In the story, he addresses his broken friendship with Kanye West, saying it’d take a “miracle” to mend fences and using another recently buried hatchet as an example.
“With all due respect, I’m not Drake, who’s about to take a picture with him next week and be friends again, and their beef is squashed,” he said. “That’s not me. What I say, I mean. I will be done with you. It’s gonna take a motherf*cking miracle for me and that man to be friends again. I don’t see it happening. He gon’ have to become a monk.” This, of course, is a reference to the two frenemies’ Free Larry Hoover Concert last year, which they held after years of trading passive-aggressive jabs in their music and social posts (to be fair, this also confused Kendrick Lamar).
But before fans could run with any speculation that Cudi has beef with Drake (which wouldn’t be entirely unfounded), Cudi himself made sure to clarify his meaning. “Just to be clear, I wasnt tryna throw a shot at Drake,” he wrote. “I got love 4 him. My point I was tryna make is that im not so forgiving. Meaning he might be a lil nicer than me in that situation w dude. Thats all. Maybe that came off wrong thru my words. So yea, all good w Drake.”
Just to be clear, I wasnt tryna throw a shot at Drake. I got love 4 him. My point I was tryna make is that im not so forgiving. Meaning he might be a lil nicer than me in that situation w dude. Thats all. Maybe that came off wrong thru my words. So yea, all good w Drake.
— The Chosen One : I YOU FRESHIE 4EVER (@KiDCuDi) August 17, 2022
Although Kids See Ghosts fans were probably distressed by Cudi’s comments, there’s a bright side here. Despite his harsh words for Kanye, there was a time when it seemed Cudi would never reconcile with Drake. For that matter, plenty of seemingly insurmountable splits were repaired throughout the history of rap, including one of its most infamous ones between Jay-Z and Nas. So, nothing is impossible. And with Kanye becoming more and more of a recluse, he’s about halfway to being a monk as it is. We can only hope he actually, sincerely, makes amends.
We are currently living in a weird limbo-like state of HBO Max. The streamer still exists and is home to many hit shows, but will slowly begin merging with Discovery+ over the next 12 months. While that’s happening, projects are getting canceled or even yanked from the site and fans are hoping that their favorite shows are safe from cancellation. The good news? You can get yourself an HBO Max subscription for super cheap!
HBO is offering a 30% discount for all new and returning US customers from now until October 30th, 2022. According to the deal, you can sign up for a no-ads plan for just $104.99 for the first year, compared to the regular $149.99 price, or get HBO Max with ads for $69.99/year, compared to their standard $99.99 price point. The deal only works for prepaid yearly subscriptions, so you can’t snag a monthly sub for just $5, unfortunately.
The move is not surprising, and it’s likely that we will see more changes on HBO Max over the next several months as the company gears up to merge with Discovery+. The company said to expect some more changes, including content removal, while they prepare for the big move.
“As we work toward bringing our content catalogs together under one platform, we will be making changes to the content offering available on both HBO Max and Discovery+,” HBO said in a statement. “That will include the removal of some content from both platforms.” On the bright side? This means Shark Week could maybe see some big news!
I love soda. More than any other vice I cover (tequila, weed, fast food) nothing gets me psyched like a blind soda taste test. So I’ll admit I took great pleasure as I cruised through the aisles of multiple markets filling up my cart with cherry soda after cherry soda for this piece.
But while cola is my all-time favorite type of soda, cherry cola runs a close second. And yet I have meandered across this mortal coil without having a “go to” brand the way I do with cola (Coke, naturally). I have yet to find “the one.” So this test is poised to serve as quite the utility for you and me both.
Can anything top market leaders Cherry Coke and Wild Cherry Pepsi? Let’s find out!
Methodology
For this blind taste test, all sodas were tasted while I wore a blindfold, recording my impressions via voice memo. This way the colorless sodas wouldn’t be as easy to pick out.
The only thing we eliminated was low-sugar cherry seltzers — as they would stand out way too easily in this blind taste test. I made an exception for New York Seltzer Black Cherry which is so packed with sugar, that it’s essentially just a regular soda and not really a health-conscious seltzer drink.
Here is our class:
BAWLS — Cherry Soda
Boylan — Black Cherry
Cheerwine
Coca-Cola — Cherry Coke
Cock ’n Bull — Cherry Ginger Beer
Hanks — Black Cherry Soda
Henry Weinhard’s — Black Cherry Cream
Original New York Seltzer — Black Cherry Soda
Pepsi — Wild Cherry Pepsi
Saranac — Shirley Temple
Sprecher — Cherry Cola
Virgil’s — Handcrafted Black Cherry
Part 1: The Tasting
Taste 1:
Ashley Garcia
Very bright and cherry forward on the nose. This has a great appetizing smell to it, but that doesn’t really translate to the flavor. The carbonation is very weak, there isn’t enough fizz on the body, and the flavor is a bit too sweet to be enjoyable.
It’s fine for a sip, but I can’t imagine crushing a bottle of this stuff.
Taste 2:
Ashley Garcia
Absolutely no cherry smell on the nose, but this one still has a pleasingly sweet smell. The cherry is very subtle here, I’m getting much more of the cinnamon and vanilla aspects of cola, and not a lot of cherry. It’s there, but you have to strain for it.
That’s not bothering me, though. I like this one a lot.
Taste 3:
Ashley Garcia
Truly bad. The nose has a nice soft cherry smell to it but the flavor is blunt and flat with a gross bitter aftertaste.
Taste 4:
Ashley Garcia
This is Wild Cherry Pepsi. I know that not because I’m a fan of Wild Cherry Pepsi, I’m not, but it has that fizzy smell and round flavor characteristics of Pepsi.
It’s an improvement over regular Pepsi definitely, but my taste buds are geared to Coca-Cola, so this just tastes like the enemy to me.
Taste 5:
Ashley Garcia
Very sweet and bright on the nose with a soft almost bubble-gum-like flavor. It doesn’t really read as cherry to me, it just tastes light, sweet, and fruity.
From my notes: “Lack of cherry aside, it’s delicious.”
Taste 6:
Ashley Garcia
A nice rich flavor, I’m getting vanilla, sweet dark cherry, orange peel, and some cinnamon dancing with the fruitier qualities. A bit too sweet on the after-taste, but overall this is a good one.
Taste 7:
Ashley Garcia
This one has a great fizz to it that feels crisp on the tongue. The flavor has deep cherry notes with a nicely balanced aftertaste of sweet and bitter tones. Very complex!
Taste 8:
Ashley Garcia
Creamy with a balance of cherry and vanilla flavors and a strangely soft mouthfeel. It almost tastes like some kind of soda float. I’m not the biggest fan of cream sodas, which this clearly is, but the cherry makes this sweet flavor a bit more palatable for me.
Taste 9:
Ashley Garcia
I’m questioning if this is really a cherry-flavored soda or if we’ve made some kind of mistake. Where is the cherry? You get a slight fruity tinge when it first hits the tongue but the flavor is quickly dominated by spicy ginger notes and a throat-burning aftertaste.
This is very herbal and spicy — I can’t see myself drinking a whole bottle but I can see this mixed in a cocktail with some dry gin and a twist of lime and mint.
Taste 10:
Ashley Garcia
This one hit me with an intoxicating cherry smell that came across as very natural. Just the smell got my salivary glands going, which I can’t say for any of the tastes proceeding this. This tastes like a number one — it has a strong fizzy bite with a balance of natural cherry notes, vanilla, a hint of citrus, and some cinnamon on the backend.
From my notes: “A real medley of flavors.”
Taste 11:
Ashley Garcia
This smells like straight-up cran-raspberry juice. Seriously, I’m getting Ocean Spray vibes from this one. The flavor is a 1:1 match for a Cherry Tootsie Pop. I don’t know what this is, but it tastes like cheap cherry candy.
Taste 12:
Ashley Garcia
Nicely balanced, I’m getting some darker cola tones with a sweet cherry lift on the backend. The cherry flavor is well represented here, but it never gets too overwhelming or candy sweet. It’s a toss-up between this one and Taste 10 for my number one pick.
BAWLS has got to be the worst name for a soda brand, and after two different soda taste tests in which BAWLS has performed poorly, this might be my least favorite brand of all time. BAWLS is a brand that infuses its soda with the Amazon basin’s guarana berry I guess the guarana berry tastes awful because this has no redeeming qualities. It’s off-puttingly bitter.
The Bottom Line:
A sweet bright cherry smell with a dirty blunt and bitter flavor. Steer clear of this one.
11. Virgil’s — Handcrafted Black Cherry (Taste 11)
Virgil’s isn’t a brand that you’d assume would be bad considering it’s one of the most visible “hipster” soda brands out there. Trader Joe’s has it, Whole Foods has it, BevMo, Total Wine, Wal-Mart, this shit is everywhere! Should it be? Because Virgil’s isn’t good, in fact, I’ve never had any Virgil’s product that hasn’t tasted like overly-sweetened garbage.
The Bottom Line:
Don’t let the fancy branding fool you, Virgil’s is garbage and the Black Cherry is one of the brand’s worst.
If BAWLS is the worst name for a soda brand, Cock n’ Bull takes the spot for the second worst soda brand name. This was a hard one for me to rank because on one hand, I think it doesn’t taste anything like cherry. This is a cherry-infused ginger beer and it tastes more like a ginger beer than anything else, so as a cherry soda I think this leaves a lot to be desired.
Having said that, I think it’s delicious.
As I alluded to in the blind portion, I think this soda would make a great base for a cocktail, it has this complex shifting character that I think would add a lot to a mixed drink. In a ginger beer blind, I think this will hold up well, but in this cherry soda taste test, we have to rank this one near the bottom of the list.
The Bottom Line:
Worth a pick-up if you like ginger beer. As. a cherry soda, it doesn’t come across as cherry-forward enough.
9. Henry Weinhard’s — Black Cherry Cream (Taste 8)
Take my ranking of this one with a grain of salt because I’m not a fan of cream soda. In fact, I straight up don’t like it, but this one has a complexity to it that I can respect and appreciate. Henry Weinhard’s makes its Black Cherry Cream soda with bing and black cherries from Oregon, black raspberry, and bourbon vanilla, and you can taste that craft, the flavor is very rich and complex, but overall I don’t really like the cream element. It’s too sweet and distracting for me to enjoy.
But that’s my issue, if you like cream soda, you’re going to love this.
The Bottom Line:
One of the best cream sodas I’ve ever had, but I don’t like cream soda so I can’t give this a higher ranking than this. If you do, you’re going to find a lot to like her.
Although I’m not a Pepsi fan I will say that Wild Cherry Pepsi is a clear improvement over the OG. The flavor leans a bit more on cola flavors than I’d expect a cherry soda to, but the cherry flavor is definitely present and does add some excitement to it that makes it admittedly appetizing.
I like Boylan a lot, the flavor has a nice bright and refreshing cherry-forward taste to it, but the carbonation is just too weak for me to give this a higher spot. When soda doesn’t have a strong fizz, it tends to stick to the teeth in this really unappetizing way I can’t help but be turned off by.
Maybe my bottle was a fluke but other Boylan flavors have failed to grab me either, so I think it’s the brand. Fizz this shit up a little, team Boylan!
The Bottom Line:
Good flavor but it has no fizz. If you like your soda to have strong bubbles and a biting flavor, this comes across too flat.
I had a feeling there was something different about this tasting, it had a tart brightness that all the other sips lacked, and that’s because it’s Saranac, which isn’t so much a cherry soda as it is a Shirley Temple.
Yes, I’m well aware that a Shirley Temple is essentially cherry sprite or 7-Up, but Shirley Temple is made with grenadine, and even though grenadine is sometimes cherry flavored (sometimes pomegranate!) it doesn’t really taste all that much like cherry, it kind of sort of just tastes like, well … grenadine. It has its own special unique flavor
The Bottom Line:
If you love the light, bright, and tart bite of Shirley Temples, this bottle by Saranac is a great one.
5. Original New York Seltzer — Black Cherry Soda (Taste 7)
I am truly shocked to find a seltzer ranked so highly! I don’t know what it is about clear colorless soda, there is just something unappetizing to me about it. And apparently, that’s all in my head because when I couldn’t see the sodas, this one didn’t taste any different from the experience the other sodas provided.
The New York Zeltzer brand was everywhere in the 80s and 90s at convenience stores but for whatever reason, this one disappeared and now I can only find it in markets in the cold bottle section.
The Bottom Line:
Don’t be fooled by the word seltzer in the name, this isn’t some low-calorie health soda — it’s just as sugar packed and delicious as the best of them!
I’m not surprised to see Cherry Coke in the top five, I’m a Coke head, and that characteristic Coca-Cola bite is just something I look for in a soda, regardless of flavor. Overall, I don’t like this nearly as much as Classic Coca-Cola which has a stronger bite and a less sweetened flavor, but it’s hard to be disappointed with this cherry cola.
It has a great balanced flavor.
The Bottom Line:
Not quite as good as Coca-Cola Classic but this is an excellent cherry cola. Easily Coke’s second-best flavor.
Cheerwine has been around since 1917 and one sip of this stuff was enough to convince me of why. I really like this soda, it’s not as cherry-forward as any of the other brands on this ranking, but I really love the equal balance of cherry and cola notes. On the Cheerwine website, the brand proudly proclaims that it is “the south’s unique cherry soft drink” and we co-sign that.
This is definitely unique, and that is its strength.
The Bottom Line:
A great soda. It leans a little more on citrus and vanilla cola notes than cherry flavors, but that’s its strength, not its weakness.
It was hard to pick a top spot in this ranking but after a few re-tastings of the top two, I have to give this second place spot to Hank’s. This soda might’ve landed in second place but it’s absolutely worth picking up and might even be your favorite over our top choice, depending on what you’re looking for in a cherry cola.
If you want a subtle gentler expression of cherry with a rich and creamy body, this is the brand for you. If want you want is bite, you’re going to want to reach for our number 1 choice.
The Bottom Line:
Sweet, creamy, well-balanced, complex, and rich in flavor.
The top spot in our blind cherry cola taste test goes to Sprecher, a brand out of Milwaukee Wisconsin that holds the title of the oldest craft brewery in the city. For this cherry cola, Sprecher infuses a cola base with Door County cherry juice and blends the brew with real Wisconsin honey, resulting in a complex bouquet of flavors that taste natural, fruity, and floral, but still delivers that characteristic cola bite.
You can really smell and taste that natural cherry juice in this, it cuts through the flavor in a way that none of the other bottles could, and for that alone I think it deserves the top spot.
The Bottom Line:
Truly the best marriage of cherry and cola flavors. It has a bite, a zesty zing, and a juicy sweet floral sweetness that comes across as natural, while still delivering the sweetness.
I’ve never had a cherry cola more perfect than this. If you’re hooked on a different brand you should definitely make the effort to give it a try.
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