Including super absorbent dishcloths to replace paper towels, at-home workout essentials, and a milk frother for *chef’s kiss* perfect lattes.
All of the athletes that made special thank you videos honoring essential workers will now have to thank themselves after the United States government has added pros to the list of essential workers as sports leagues try to restart amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
News broke on Tuesday that the acting head of the department of Homeland Security has declared pro athletes to be “essential workers,” apparently further clearing the way for sports leagues to return to work amid a global pandemic. NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly told reporters on a conference call Tuesday that the order came down as the league plans its restart.
Daly said U.S. acting Director of Homeland Security has signed order making professional athletes essential workers.
— Mike Zeisberger (@Zeisberger) May 26, 2020
The move was the latest in a series of sports-related decisions that included allowing athletes abroad to return to the United States despite travel restrictions to and from certain countries put in place as COVID-19 spread. The news also came along with the NHL’s official plan to finish its season with a special 24-team postseason tournament that’s expected to start in July.
While the move is largely a legal distinction that may ease some difficulties in getting a season back up and running, it does show that the Trump administration is clearly invested in seeing sports come back despite the inherent dangers that come with easing social distancing guidelines while the novel coronavirus spreads without effective treatment or a vaccine. Athletes are not needed to provide essential services to the nation, but their entertainment value has apparently made their worth roughly equivalent in the eyes of the government.
While appearing on Variety‘s “#REPRESENT: Success Stories,” Silicon Valley and The Eternals star Kumail Nanjiani revealed that he once refused to exaggerate his accent for the role of a taxi driver in a really big movie. According to Kumail, he’s fine with leaning into his Pakistani accent and making it thicker for certain parts, but he draws the line at mocking it for comedy.
“So there was a really, really big movie, actually, that I auditioned for, and I was a taxi driver, and the director was like, ‘Hey, could you play up the accent a little bit?’ And I was like, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t.’” Nanjiani told the #REPRESENT panel. “And then the guy felt really bad.”
Nanjiani then laughed and said he still doesn’t regret refusing to do the accent for the hit film. And if Variety‘s sleuthing is on the ball, it really was a big movie:
While he does not name the movie in question, Nanjiani did say he auditioned for a part in the first “Deadpool” movie in a 2014 episode of his now-defunct podcast “The Indoor Kids.” On it, Emily V. Gordon — Nanjiani’s wife and collaborator — brings up him being asked to exaggerate his accent during auditions. “Which you have been asked to do, and often you’re like, ‘No, thanks,’” she said.
Of course, Nanjiani’s decision to stick to his principles paid off, and he has a starring role coming up in Marvel’s The Eternals. The actor will be playing Kingo, a Bollywood star who’s secretly an immortal being who has been hiding on Earth for centuries. In a March interview with Men’s Health, Nanjiani was particularly proud that he got to base his superhero look on real-life Indian actor Hrithik Roshan. “I’m playing the first South Asian superhero in a Marvel movie,” Nanjiani said. “I don’t want to be the schlubby brown guy—I want to look like someone who can hang with Thor and Captain America.”
(Via Variety)
According to multiple reports, the NBA is shooting for a return to action sometime near the end of July. There are plenty of logistical challenges that still have to be ironed out before that can happen, namely settling on the location where the games will take place, as Disney World in Orlando appears to be the presumptive front-runner.
Given the unorthodox nature of it all, there’s been a lot of talk about using this opportunity to tinker with the postseason format. Seeding the playoffs 1-16 regardless of conference is an idea that’s continued to gain traction over the years, as well as a play-in style tournament that would determine the final two seeds.
Mavs owner Mark Cuban is apparently a fan of that concept, and he broke down just how that would work in a theoretically scenario that would signal a major paradigm shift in how the league approaches its postseason format. Cuban wants a completion of some regular season games, meaning all 30 teams would be involved in his return proposal, with a modified play-in tournament to follow.
Via Tim MacMahon of ESPN:
In Cuban’s proposal, the top 10 teams from both conferences would qualify for the postseason and be reseeded based on record. There would be two play-in matchups — either single games or a best-of-three series — pitting seeds 17 vs. 20 and 18 vs. 19. The winners would advance to play the 15th and 16th seeds for the final spots in the playoff bracket.
The playoffs would then proceed with best-of-seven series.
A point Cuban emphasizes is that all but two teams — the exceptions being the Minnesota Timberwolves and Golden State Warriors — would have a mathematical possibility of qualifying for the postseason under his proposal. The Cleveland Cavaliers and Atlanta Hawks, the teams at the bottom of the Eastern Conference standings, are four games behind the 10th-place Charlotte Hornets.
On Tuesday, Damian Lillard indicated that he won’t participate in a resumed regular season unless there is what he described as a legitimate chance for his team to make the playoffs. His Blazers are currently in the No. 9 spot in the West and 3.5 games behind the Grizzlies for the eighth and final spot.
Cuban’s format would offer them as good a chance as any, particularly since his model includes re-seeding the teams based on their record. Amid all the upheaval, there’s certainly room for some experimentation, and the league could potentially use this a beta test for systematic changes that could result in a massive overhaul to the playoff format in the future.
The NHL just announced its own expanded playoff plan, as they will look to bring the top 12 teams from each conference into a hub city, with the top four teams playing round-robin games for seeding, while the 5-12 teams battle for the chance to face them.
(ESPN)
As the U.S. begins to reopen after two months of shutdowns due to the coronavirus pandemic, people are understandably concerned.
Well, some people are. Some people seem to think that the shift to reopening the economy means the virus has miraculously disappeared, that 100,000 Americans dead while we were in lockdown is nothing to worry about, and that those of us who are wary about people going back out into the public are a bunch of fear-mongering worry warts.
Jeremy Konyndyk, global outbreak preparedness and humanitarian response expert and former director of USAID’s Office of US Foreign Disaster Assistance, offered an explanation on Twitter for the folks who don’t seem to understand the concern—”a short analogy about pooping and accountability.”
Konyndyk wrote:
“Alright. There is a LOT of chatter on this website bashing those who are saying most of the country still isn’t ready for a safe reopening. So, as we approach what would normally be summer pool season, here’s a short analogy about pooping and accountability.
Imagine you’re at the pool, and a kid poops in the water. It happens a few times every summer. What happens next? Everybody clears the pool. That’s the initial step to protect people from the poop.
But it’s not the end of the story.
There’s a next step – some poor soul on pool staff has to go fish out the poop. It’s a pretty thankless job.
Then they have to shock the pool with chlorine to kill off bacteria.
And then everyone waits half an hour or so til it’s safe to swim again.
You can see where I’m going with this.
If the lifeguards tell everyone to clear the pool, but the pool staff declines to actually get rid of the poop, what happens?
No one can go back in. The poop is still there. Limbo.
Whose fault is it that it’s not safe to go back in the water? Who is accountable?
Do you focus on the people saying “clean up the poop before we can go back in safely!”?
Or do you focus on the staff whose job it is to clean up the poop?
And what would you think if the staff started saying – look, just get back in. Be a warrior.
The answer is pretty obvious.
So right now, our country is a big swimming pool with a poop problem.
And the President, rather than fix the mess, is urging everyone back into the pool regardless and saying the ‘real’ problem is those people who think the pool’s not safe yet. They must hate the pool, etc.
And a lot of the public is buying it!!
The President’s whole play here is to distract from his failure to fix the mess by focusing the country’s attention on people who don’t want to swim in a pooped-in pool.
He wants you to believe they’re saying you should never go back in.
And if you buy that, he’s off the hook. He doesn’t have to clean up the poop, and he doesn’t get blamed for failing to do so. Win-win for him.
But NO ONE is saying ‘never go back in the pool.’ They’re saying – please clean out the poop first.
Everyone wants to get back in the pool. Everyone wants to reopen the country.
And if you’re frustrated that we can’t, please hold the right folks accountable. The problem isn’t the people saying we need to reopen ‘safely.’
It’s the people saying needn’t bother with that part.”
Exactly. Without getting cases down to a level where robust testing, tracing, and quarantining procedures will enable us to contain outbreaks when and where they occur, we’re just heading into a poop-contaminated pool.
And Konyndyk is right—all of us want the economy to reopen. We all recognize the fact that people are suffering and unemployment is terrible and that lockdowns with no end in sight are not sustainable. However, opening up too quickly and before we have the necessary measures in place to get a handle on outbreaks as they occur will simply put us back to where we were two months ago—facing a pandemic with the potential to injure and kill huge numbers of people. If we just toss up our hands now and say, “Welp, whatever happens happens—if people die, oh well,” we will have tanked the economy for no reason.
Let’s at least get the poop out of the pool before we start inviting people back in. Reopening is going to have to happen at some point, in some measure, but if we don’t do it slowly and safely, we’re just asking for a crappier outcome in the long run.
