Kenny Rogers deserved better. But, then again, I guess we all deserve a little better right now. So, with things currently how they are, it’s unfortunate, but not terribly surprising, that Kenny Rogers’ passing was greeted with an almost collective ambivalence. Which just goes to prove how dire the circumstances are now because Rogers was a giant and such a huge part of popular culture in past decades.
Yes, most people know him for his duet with Dolly Parton, “Islands in the Stream.” Or for both singing and staring about a cardplayer who knew when to stop playing. (For me, the strangest entry into Rogers canon is the song “Coward of the County,” which has some seriously disturbing lyrics for such a mainstream song.)
But, I think there’s a sweet spot era of people who were first introduced to Kenny Rogers via his acting in movies like the 1982 racecar driving motion picture, Six Pack. Now, Six Pack was one of those movies that played on HBO pretty much nonstop in the early days of HBO. And as a latchkey kid, only child, and now member of the *New Greatest Generation, yes, I watched Six Pack many, many, many times.
*There’s been an unusual amount of pieces written lately about the heroism of Gen X because we are used to isolating ourselves and not being particularly needy or social. Look, if someone wants to send accolades my way because instead of “going outside” after school I’d go home and play Excitebike, I’ll certainly take them. It didn’t feel particulary heroic at the time, but I guess someone had to defeat Soda Popinski. But it also feels a little disingenuous to proclaim Gen X is good at anything, really. This seems out of character. So, please, just leave me alone and let me watch Six Pack in peace.
I’m always fascinated when a movie isn’t on streaming, it’s not even available to purchase on iTunes (or whatever it’s called these days), but it is available in full, through multiple sources, for free on YouTube. Does this mean the rights holder has just given up? Basically the effort to put this on some sort of streaming platform isn’t worth the trouble and if people really want to watch it so bad, well, have at it? Anyway, after scouring every other possible option, I watched a, let’s say, “serviceable” version on YouTube.
I have to say, for a movie I watched repeatedly as a little kid, I remember very little about Six Pack. The opening scene – which shows us down-on-his-luck race car driver Brewster Baker, solemnly driving along with his race car in tow – opens with my favorite Kenny Rogers song, “Love Will Turn You Around,” which immediately made me feel a rare emotion called “happiness.” And the good news is, somehow this song plays three times during the duration of Six Pack. This is not a complaint!
The premise of Six Pack, about six orphans who join Brewster Baker’s racing team, is a lot weirder than I remember. Well, at least when I was a kid it didn’t seem that crazy that me and five other friends my age would just hang out with Kenny Rogers and race cars. He seemed like a cool guy! But, now, from the other side, if I were a rival race car driver and Brewster Baker is just hanging out with six kids all the time, it would raise some questions.
Also, I had no idea two of the kids would turn into famous people. Diane Lane and Anthony Michael Hall make up a third of the “Six Pack orphans” who Baker meets after they steal his engine. It turns out a corrupt Texas sheriff (hm, I wonder where that idea came from), played by *Barry Corbin, was making them do this.
(*We don’t talk about Barry Corbin enough. What a run he had in the early ‘80s – pretty much playing the same variation of a tough-talking character with a southern drawl. And you probably know him best as General Beringer in WarGames. You know, the guy who gets to tell Dabney Coleman, “your new defense system sucks.” Anyway, I just looked him up and he’s still acting. I don’t have time to write a whole “In appreciation of Barry Corbin” piece (though, with no new movies, check in with me in a few weeks), so, for now, let this serve as an “appreciation of Barry Corbin” paragraph.)
Anyway, as it turns out, Six Pack is a perfectly pleasant movie. For a movie where not a whole heck of a lot happens, I was enjoying my time watching it. Good clean fun! They all live happily ever after at the end. Isn’t that what any of us want right now? Well, I guess except for the theft. And when the kids break Brewster out of jail at gunpoint. But, hey, these are scrappy orphans, they had to do what they had to do.
(Here’s a strange thing: In the ’70s and ’80s, a lot of movies had television spinoffs, which was always weird because it usually ignores the events of the movie and had an entirely new cast. M*A*S*H* is probably the most famous version of this phenomenon. Anyway, it seems they tried to do this with Six Pack, only with Don Johnson(!) playing Brewster Baker and Joaquin Phoenix(!!) as one of the “six pack.” Sadly, this wasn’t picked up.
For a million reasons, I wish last week had just been devoted to remembering Kenny Rogers. So, this is my small part in remembering Rogers again. And this is especially for us noble Generation X latchkey kids who are helping to save the world by staying home and watching Six Pack once again, just like we used to. (Barf.)
You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.
HBO’s Last Week Tonight suspended full-on production (along with the rest of late-night TV, and much of overall TV, and most of the world) as social distancing became the name of the coronavirus-smashing game. We last saw John Oliver two weeks ago when he took on the disease a second time after his initial segment issued advice and warnings that largely went unheeded. Oliver returned to the air this week without his live audience for a 1-on-1 style discussion with viewers at home. The absence of customary punctual laughter in the background might be unsettling, but Oliver took the necessary step of evaluating how leaders are botching the pandemic response.
It must be noted that Oliver singled out the heroes of this ongoing disaster. Those would primarily be the hospital staff members who are fighting for supplies, although Oliver recognizes that medical facilities did contribute to the current scarcity that springboarded off their efficiency movements. Still, he holds governments (most urgently, President Trump) for the slow (and accusatory) response to the pleas for ventilators. Not only that, but Oliver is begging officials to realize that it’s objectively “way too soon” to consider rolling back social distancing, which won’t save the economy:
“Relaxing social distancing right now isn’t just trading one bad outcome for another. It’s trading one bad outcome for both bad outcomes. It’s sh*tting on your cake and choking on it too.”
Further, Oliver bashed Trump for accusing journalists of wanting to destroy his poll numbers when they posed valid questions about the pandemic response:
“Oh, for f*ck’s sake! No one is thinking about you. These guidelines did not revolve around you. For once, something has come along that is more toxic and more threatening than this president, and somehow, he’s got fucking stage envy. And look, I know this isn’t exactly the first time that I’ve criticized Donald Trump, but I can’t tell you how much I was rooting for him to do this better. Handling a crisis well is not inherently political.”
Sadly, there was no place in this segment for much of Oliver’s usual levity, other than his admission at the beginning that self-isolation is digging into all of us. He highlighted how mass graves in some countries will be visible from space and how Kentucky’s outraged governor, Andy Beshear, revealed how someone tested positive for COVID-19 after attending a “Coronavirus party.” Oliver reassured people that they really didn’t need to worry about their hairstyles during this pandemic because no one should care about looks right now, and he trashed the absurdity of right-wingers (who he called a “f*cking death cult”) that seriously want people to sacrifice their lives for the economy.
Most of all, though, Oliver urges people to be patient, since waiting out the virus in self-isolation is the main method of halting its destruction. He, too, looks forward to good times, like when he can finally be irritated by New York Governor Andrew Cuomo again. That time will come, but only if we continue our current social distancing ways.
Hoping to inject some positivity into our dreary world, John Krasinski launched a new YouTube series called “Some Good News” over the weekend.
“For years now, I’ve been wondering, why is there not a news show dedicated entirely to good news?” he asked (probably because people need to know about corrupt institutions more than a dog and cat becoming unlikely friends, but I digress). “Well, desperately seeking my fix somewhere else, I reached out to all of you this week, asking — nay, begging — for some good news. And boy, did you deliver. After reading those replies and the incredibly heartwarming stories that came with them, I thought, ‘All right. Enough is enough, world. Why not us? Why not now?’ So, ladies and gentleman, this is your fault, and this is SGN. I’m John Krasinski, and if it isn’t clear yet, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.” Even so, he booked an impressive guest for his first episode.
Steve Carell and Krasinki reunited virtually to discuss the 15th anniversary of The Office and their favorite memories from the show, including the “Dinner Party” episode and filming “Fun Run” in extreme heat. “Part of what was so much fun about it was that everybody in the cast was rooting for everybody else,” Carell said. “People would step back when it was time for other people to shine and celebrate it.” The oft-discussed reunion was brought up, but for now, they would settle for getting “to reunite as people.”
Watch the video above.
The Weeknd’s new album After Hours has expanded greatly since its initial release a bit over a week ago. Just a few days after it came out, it received a deluxe edition that added remixes by and/or featuring Lil Uzi Vert, Oneohtrix Point Never, The Blaze, and Chromatics, as well as the Saturday Night Live performance of “Scared To Live.” Now the deluxe version of the album has gotten even bigger: Over the weekend, The Weeknd added three new songs to the ever-growing album.
The trio of tracks includes “Nothing Compares,” “Missed You,” and “Final Lullaby.” The first is an airy track grounded by heavy synths, the second is a quick shot of after-dark pop, while the latter song is a synthy nighttime ballad.
The Weeknd’s post-release tweaking of After Hours has apparently been successful: It was revealed yesterday that the album has debuted at the top of the Billboard 200 chart, making it his fourth No. 1 release. It went No. 1 thanks to 444,000 equivalent album units sold, which is The Weeknd’s biggest opening frame ever, surpassing his previous personal best that was set by his 2015 album, Beauty Behind The Madness.
Listen to “Nothing Compares” above, and stream the full deluxe edition of After Hours below.
After Hours is out now via Republic Records. Get it here.
If you’re anything like me (I pray that you’re not), your attention span is so bad right now that you don’t remember if you’re anything like me. It’s why I’m playing Animal Crossing and binging half-hour sitcoms, but not spending my endless isolation hours learning a second language or doing something else equally important, like watching every Best Picture winner. That’s mostly because I don’t want to see Crash again, but also: only four Best Picture winners are under 100 minutes. I can barely watch an episode of Better Call Saul without checking my phone, let alone all 183 minutes of The Deer Hunter. Not even 90 minutes of Ernest Borgnine in Marty (a great movie!) can keep my attention lately.
This list below, of nine excellent movies that are under 80 minutes (listed in alphabetical order), is for my fellow short-attention-span sufferers.
Alice in Wonderland
This list could be composed exclusively of classic animated Disney movies — especially in the early years of Walt Disney Animation Studios, when anything over 90 minutes was a massive achievement — but I’m restricting myself to only one title: Alice in Wonderland. Alice was considered a bit of a flop when it was released in 1951, but in the ensuing decades, it’s become essential viewing for fans of animation and/or stoners. Just don’t watch the other Alice in Wonderland movie on Disney+, believe me.
Where to watch: Disney+
Bride of Frankenstein
Still bummed about the dissolution of the Dark Universe? I am. I am every day. Oh, what could have been. Russell Crowe as Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde! Javier Bardem as the Frankenstein Monster! Johnny Depp as the Invisible Man! Tom Cruise as… a mummy? I’m not sure. I didn’t watch The Mummy, other than the plane video. Universal Pictures wanted to make a Bride of Frankenstein movie, too — a script was written and Bill Condon was slated to direct — with Angelina Jolie in the lead role. But it never came to be, obviously. Just as well: the original Bride of Frankenstein, starring Elsa Lanchester as the bride, is unbeatable; it’s arguably the best of all the Universal monster movies.
Where to watch: Amazon Prime, YouTube, Vudu, iTunes
Duck Soup
Duck Soup is not only a great under-80 movie — it’s also one of the funniest movies ever. It’s packed with jokes that still hold up 87 years later, from pun-perfect wordplay (“This is a gala day for you” “Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don’t think I could handle any more”) to physical comedy bits that people still “borrow” from (the mirror bit). Groucho was never funnier than in Duck Soup, but Margaret Dumont, the so-called fifth Marx Brother, deserves acknowledgement, too. Rufus T. Firefly’s zingers wouldn’t zing without the exasperated reactions from one Mrs. Gloria Teasdale.
Where to watch: Amazon Prime, YouTube, Vudu, iTunes
Following
You know who’s taking the pandemic hard? Well, everyone, but especially Christopher Nolan. He has a new film that’s supposed to come out on July 17, emphasis on the word “supposed.” If there’s one director who values the “theatrical experience,” it’s Nolan. Warner Bros. has already pushed back Wonder Woman 1984 and In the Heights, among others, but “Christopher Nolan’s Tenet will stay firm on July 17 in anticipation the global theatrical marketplace will be well by then,” according to Deadline. In other words, it’s either theaters (even if it means in 2021) or bust; he’s not a direct-to-streaming guy. But you can currently stream his directorial debut, the low-budget crime thriller Following, for when you need a break from re-watching/still attempting to “get” Interstellar.
Where to watch: Amazon Prime, YouTube, iTunes
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Just because Hot Topic has co-opted The Nightmare Before Christmas into a year-round commercial enterprise to sell, like, chain wallets doesn’t mean it’s not a good movie. Actually, it’s not a good movie; it’s a great movie, a stop-motion masterpiece from Henry Selick and Tim Burton. (Looking for a good way to spend a few hours? Hire up a Zoom with your friends, and ask them to name Burton’s last quality film.) “This Is Halloween” is a year-round banger, “Oogie Boogie’s Song” is a top-tier villain song, and “Sally’s Song” is secretly the saddest song ever. How has Danny Elfman never won an Oscar?
Where to watch: Disney+
Paris Is Burning
Paris Is Burning, a documentary about New York’s queer African-American and Latinx drag ball scene in the 1980s, was inducted into the National Film Registry for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.” Or as Criterion put it, “Featuring legendary voguers, drag queens, and trans women, Paris Is Burning brings it, celebrating the joy of movement, the force of eloquence, and the draw of community.” It’s a must-watch.
Where to watch: Netflix
Primer
You know that scene from The Simpsons where Homer is watching Twin Peaks and says, “Brilliant! … I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.” Do I have any idea what’s happening in Primer? No. Could I explain the plot to another person? Also no. Good thing I’m/we’re stuck at home, away from other people, and can re-watch Shane Carruth’s skillful Sundance-winning film about time travel (now there’s an understatement) over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Where to watch: Amazon Prime, YouTube, Vudu, iTunes
Rec
Maybe you don’t want to watch a found footage movie where a TV reporter and her cameraman are trapped in a building, along with the residents, and not allowed to go outside, out of fear that they’ll spread a deadly virus. Or maybe it’s the cathartic release you need. Don’t bother with the American remake Quarantine (it’s only a matter of time before it’s the next Contagion), but do check out the surprisingly good sequel, Rec 2.
Where to watch: Shudder
South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut
OK, OK. South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut is TECHNICALLY 81 minutes long, but if you turn it off at 79:59, all you’ll miss is some credits and Michael McDonald singing “Eyes of a Child.” That’s not nothing, but at least you’ll still hear the “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” reprise. Anyway, Bigger, Longer, & Uncut, made during South Park‘s third season on Comedy Central, is one of the best show-to-movie-adaptations, and a killer Stephen Sondheim-approved musical to boot. It’s easy to watch, mmmkay?
Where to watch: Amazon Prime, YouTube, Vudu, iTunes
Drake has been protective of his son’s exposure to the public. Adonis, who is two years old now, was mentioned by Pusha T in a song that came out during their feud, and Drake later confirmed his existence on Scorpion. Drake is apparently ready to open up about his family life a little more now, as he has shared the first photos of his and Sophie Brussaux’s child.
Taking to Instagram, Drake shared a gallery of pictures of his family, which mostly featured photos of Adonis. He also wrote a lengthy caption for the post, styled as a letter to Adonis in which he offers life advice and wisdom like, “What is most important for you right now is to connect to your own inner light,” and, “You have the biggest heart and that is your greatest gift.” Drake ended the post, “I love and miss my beautiful family and friends and I can’t wait for the joyful day when we are all able to reunite. Until then please keep your lights on.”
Read Drake’s full post below.
“What is most important for you right now is to connect to your own inner light. This will create the biggest opening of all. Trust that you have all of the power within to make this happen, and in order to do that connect to the people and things that bring you a lot of joy. When the mind starts to move into overthinking or fear, shift your attention right away to something bright. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past or what is happening around us now, you can always make the choice to break free of the wheel of suffering and panic and open up to your own light. We are powerful manifestors, so once you make the choice in the moment to shift your awareness to something good, it will show you in your reality. Be conscious, especially right now of fears coming in from others, and recognize that not everything should be held by you. Laughter is your best medicine, but tears can also be a powerful release. Let go of any judgment you may have around that. Remember that you are never alone, and if you need to be reminded of that ask for support and it will show up. Everything comes down to intention, and even though there are conflicting energies circling around us you must KNOW…It will rebuild. But in order for that to happen, you have to do exactly that. Trust. You have the biggest heart and that is your greatest gift. It’s impossible to always control your surroundings, but when you shift the focus to how you want to feel, everything will conspire to assist you. I love and miss my beautiful family and friends and I can’t wait for the joyful day when we are all able to reunite. Until then please keep your lights on.”
