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With quarantines being extended all across the country, the right combination of cabin fever and an empty to-do list can produce levels of boredom never before experienced. A few weeks ago Detroit rapper Curtis Roach tried to alleviate his woes by taking to TikTok. In the video, Roach repeats the words “bored in the house” while making a beat on a table and snapping along. It became a hit, passing ten million views last week, according to a recent Instagram post from Curtis.

Now Curtis Roach has teamed up with Tyga to make his short video into a three-minute song, along with a video that highlights the boredom each artist currently experiences. Tyga shows show him killing time by repeatedly washing his hands, napping, playing with a basketball, and sitting on various couches. He also shows off a number of outfits and even some fancy footwork.

Joining Curtis in the”Bored In The House” fun, Tyga, Keke Palmer, Liza Koshy, Ondreaz Lopez, Chance the Rapper, and Charli D’Amelio, TikTok’s most-followed user, have all posted their own videos to go along with the song, but Curtis hopes one special celebrity joins in on the fun: Will Smith, someone Curtis described as “everybody’s favorite person.”

You can watch the video for “Bored In The House” above.

For a minute, let’s pretend I am capable of fixing the most damning flaws possessed by NBA Draft prospects. In this scenario, assuming I still yearn to write about the NBA Draft, the following piece would focus on Isaac Okoro, a top-five prospect. Instead, this is about Isaac Okoro, a 6’6 wing from Auburn University whose outside shooting indicators are so bleak that they relegate him to the fringe-lottery tier on my board.

There are a host of skills to enjoy about Okoro. I’ll dive into those later and attempt to project how they will translate to the NBA, but we must begin with the foremost concern, which permeates throughout the entirety of his offensive toolkit: his shooting. In 28 games this season, Okoro shot 29.0 percent beyond the arc and 67.2 percent from the charity stripe. He converted 69.8 percent of his dunks or shots at the rim but just 25.3 percent everywhere else, registering in the 22nd percentile on catch-and-shoot jumpers and 19th percentile on no dribble, spot-up jumpers. He’s also gun shy in nature, consistently passing up open threes and wandering into precarious positions. Combine all of that with his stiff, robotic mechanics and Okoro’s shooting projection is rather dire.

You saw these issues manifest this year on a regular basis and negatively affect Auburn’s offense. Those scenarios are only going to become more frequent at the next level when the opposition manipulates his lack of shooting gravity by playing way off of him and mucking up other actions. In two of the following clips, look at how easily his man can provide help to deter Samir Doughty’s drive. Despite getting opportunities to take open looks, Okoro turns down these shots.

Being a perimeter-sized player who cannot knock down threes at a consistent clip and also passes up countless opportunities (.284 three-point rate) makes it quite challenging to produce positive value offensively. Nonetheless, there are a few avenues for Okoro to do so, though his shooting development is the crux of all this and I am dubious he gets that to a point where it opens up the rest of his game.

As a slasher and finisher, he is among the best in the class. Only 30.7 percent of his buckets at the rim were assisted and he ranked in the 89th percentile around the basket in the half-court (64.2 percent). There is legitimate upside as a player who can create looks on his own (97th percentile in isolation, 23 possessions) and it’s powered by his blend of strength, balance, interior touch, body control, and improved ball-handling. Plus, he can score inside with either hand.

The issue then becomes figuring out how much his shooting woes will inhibit this on-ball creation. Can he still rely on his strength, balance, and touch? Can he develop a floater as a secondary weapon for when he doesn’t get all the way to the rim? After making significant strides from high school to college, will he continue to expand his ball-handling and further unlock driving lanes?

Broadly, my answer to all three questions is yes, and it’s why I remain in on him as a lottery talent. However, much of this translation to the NBA is contingent on his team. To be a consistent downhill slasher, he’ll need to play alongside floor-spacing frontcourt partners. If the paint is occupied by a rim-running center or big man, Okoro will largely be restricted to spot-up duties, a job for which he’s improperly suited. As such, that lineup construction would also negate much of his potential as a roll man — another path to offensive value, given his finishing and quick leaping ability — and chances to target mismatches on the block (78th percentile on post-ups, 25 possessions). An unimaginative coach that treats him like a classic 3-and-D wing would prime him for failure and ignore the on-ball potential he holds.

If he can provide some semblance of scoring equity, it’ll mandate entrusting him with a few on-ball reps each night to promote his playmaking, which is genuinely special for a non-primary initiator. Whirling skip passes, kick-outs to shooters, and feeding the roller in stride, Okoro is capable of operating pick-and-rolls. When he’s attacking off the catch, his talent as an impromptu creator shines through, mainly via interior reads. Considering his struggles as a shooter, he won’t be one of the most impactful passers from this draft, but he wields some of the best vision and timeliness as a distributor.

Yet it is unlikely he will shift defenses much when the ball in his hands, since he’ll fail to offer threatening scoring gravity away from the rim. That seemingly inherent flaw in his game will mute some of his passing upside, though there remains enough to maintain value.

While many of Okoro’s most ardent supporters peg him as an elite defender, I have him a tier below that. Regardless, he projects as a versatile stopper with good, not great, off-ball instincts to turn teams over at a meaningful rate. On the ball, he has light, active feet, can swiftly rotate his hips to stymie drives and applies his functional strength well, often using his powerful upper body against his assignment to deter them from reaching a desired spot on the floor.

His strength and low center of gravity enable him to comfortably function in the post as well, making him a valuable defensive asset in the playoffs as a wing who cannot be targeted by most ball-handlers or non-5s. He should most frequently be tasked with checking wings and power forward, but he can conceivably get switched onto point guards and centers in a pinch.

Off the ball, Okoro is a resourceful rim protector and interior defender. He promptly rotates to draw charges or alter shots inside, but his impact in the former role is capped due to a 6’9 wingspan and underwhelming vertical pop. That doesn’t mean it’s entirely extinguished, though, because his core strength prohibits him from being dislodged at the basket and his awareness ensures he executes most necessary team defense decisions inside.

Despite underwhelming steal and block numbers this season (1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks per 40 minutes), I saw more than enough on film that lends credence to my faith in him as a disruptor. He tags rollers as the weak-side defender in ball screens, digs down to eliminate drop-off passes to bigs on drives, and understands how to position himself away from the action, which maximizes his readiness when the time comes. His numbers don’t reflect his instincts and awareness, both of which are very good.

Okoro is not without his flaws as a defender. Often, he is undisciplined against shot fakes, dribble moves, or hesitations. When defending one pass away, he is overzealous to unnecessarily help on drives and invite open catch-and-shoot threes. He’ll grow infatuated with denying his man the ball, turning on the blinders and removing himself from important help situations. There can be a buffering period for his reaction time and instincts, leaving him late in responding to off-ball moves by his assignment — usually against cuts or dribble handoffs, both of which allow opponents to frequent the paint — or protecting the rim.

On the whole, these issues are vastly overshadowed by everything else he does. Okoro’s potential to flummox creators on the ball and prevent them from maneuvering as they wish matters. His penchant for spurring chaos off the ball while also carrying through with necessary rotations is essential. There are few players in this class with more promising defensive impact moving forward.

Okoro is the type of prospect who inspires you to dream about “what-if” scenarios. If only he could shoot, you’d be looking at a really, really high-level guy in this class. But accounting for all the available evidence, that development feels quite far off, especially in terms of emerging as a shooter who actually influences how defenses shape their decision-making process. Because of that, he won’t be deserving of significant on-ball usage. For complementary perimeter players, the shooting is vital. Other skills are welcomed and effective, but their importance is dramatically lessened.

Even without a jumper, he remains among the top-15 on my board. The self-creation, facilitating, improved ball-handling — which should continue to blossom functionally — composite defensive package, and athletic tools (strength, quick jump ability, coordination and balance) are too enticing to pass up.

America has been besieged by the novel coronavirus for under a month now, with over 100,000 cases in the U.S. alone, as of this writing. Two of the first celebrities to test positive were no less than Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. The power couple learned of their diagnosis while in Australia, prepping for Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis biopic, which has since been put on hold. The news came on March 11, when the two self-quarantined. But now, on March 28, they revealed they’ve been able to make it back home to Los Angeles.

Of course, just because they’re back from the other side of the planet doesn’t mean they’re galivanting about outdoors. Los Angeles remains under quarantine, the streets empty except for those getting essentials or doing solitary exercising (that is, of course, if they’re obeying the rules).

“We’re home now and, like the rest of America, we carry on with sheltering in place and social distancing,” the two-time Oscar-winner wrote. “Many, many thanks to everyone in Australia who looked after us. Their care and guidance made possible our return to the USA. And many thanks to all of you who reached out with well wishes. Rita and I appreciate it.”

He ended, as he always does, with his apparent nickname: “Hanx.”

The news of their return broke Friday, at places like Entertainment Weekly, who reported that the two were photographed driving in L.A. Earlier last week Hanks gave an update following their two-week quarantine, writing, “We feel better.” They also advised anyone with symptoms to stay indoors, as they did. “Sheltering in place works like this: You don’t give it to anyone — You don’t get it from anyone. Common sense, no?”

Anyway, good for them, and hopefully the comically long flight from Oz to L.A. was a peaceful one. To the rest of you, do what Turner of Turner and Hooch says and remain indoors.

(Via EW)

While most of America is attempting to self-quarantine in the wake of the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus pandemic, the entertainment that keeps us sane while indoors is arguably more important than ever. Already a beloved show, Ru Paul’s Drag Race is continuing to hold down the fort, airing new episodes of the fierce competition between queens who want to come out on top. And during the signature lip sync portion of the show in the latest episode, Ru Paul and the show’s producers slyly made another move at representation by selecting Kim Petras’ shimmering bop, “Heart To Break.”

Uproxx premiered the surreal fairy-tale video for this track when it came out back in spring of 2018, and it helped put Kim on the map as part of pop’s new elite, culminating in her debut full-length, Clarity, released last year. Kim is the youngest person to ever undergo gender reassignment surgery, and has become one of the most prominent transgender stars in the music industry. She hasn’t showed any sign of slowing down since the release of Clarity, either, immediately following it up with another mixtape in October, Turn Off The Lights, a continuation of Turn Off The Light Vol. 1.

Watch two queens battle it out to Kim’s song in Season 12, Episode 5 of Drag Race above.

With the number of coronavirus cases in the United States breaking the 100,000 mark this past week, hospitals and other health care buildings have been struggling to keep their employees safe, especially given the continued nationwide shortage of masks. Looking to lessen the shortage in his community, Future has announced that he will soon donate masks to healthcare works and coronavirus patients.

Future and his non-profit, FreeWishes Foundation, will team up with Atlanta Sewing Style to begin the creation of the masks for their #MaskOn campaign, named after Future’s 2017 hit song. The masks will be hand-made by Atlanta Sewing Style and their network of over 500 sewers and designers before they are sent off to Atlanta hospitals.

“We recognize how alarming and critical the need is for medical equipment, so we have stepped in to help, by ensuring that masks are provided to healthcare professionals and patients, currently hospitalized,” Future said. “Healthcare professionals, on the frontlines of this pandemic, are possibly risking their lives.”

Future’s mother and FreeWishes co-founder, Stephanie Jester, also spoke on the campaign on the foundation’s website. “I think that our healthcare professionals are the heroes in this situation and they are risking their lives for everyone, so it is our responsibility to help protect them.”

To read the full statement about the #MaskOn campaign, head to the FreeWishes website here.

The NBA’s most prominent group of friends are the Banana Boat crew, made up of LeBron James, Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, and despite the fact that he was not in the famous picture, Carmelo Anthony. Four of the best players of their era, this group includes a number of championships, All-Star appearances, and moments that have captivated basketball fans over the course of their careers.

We’ll also occasionally get stories about this friendship from members of the group, something that occurred on Friday when Anthony and Wade had a conversation with one another on Instagram. Gabrielle Union wanted Anthony to “tell the story of when we were in the Bahamas and it didn’t look like you were gonna make it,” a vague prompt that excited the pair of future Hall of Fame inductees. Basically, Anthony got a little too eager to spend as much time as he possibly could snorkeling while on vacation, and as a result, he got caught in the current.

Once James realized what was going on, Wade said he dove in “like that commercial that he had, the LeBrons,” and got Anthony out.

“I’ve seen LeBron do a lot of amazing things on the court. Off the court, when he went and saved Melo’s life…” Wade said before Anthony confirmed that James did, indeed, save his life. It is a pretty scary story, but fortunately everything ended up ok and Anthony is able to laugh about it now. And at the very least, this gives me a reason to link the old Nike commercial with the LeBrons, which is always fun.

It’s been nearly five months since the tragic passing of Juice WRLD, and many are far from over his death. One of those people is Kid Cudi, who took to Twitter to share a heartfelt tribute to the late rapper.

Cudi began with quoting a tweet from Juice back in 2018, one that came shortly after “Lucid Dreams” had begun to achieve mainstream success. In the old tweet he wrote, “I need to work with you legend.” In the new tweet, Cudi added, “it hurts we never got to work together.” Cudi also wrote, “When we met at Coachella I was surprised u were even a fan. I didnt feel so old after all haha I got something just for u I hope u love. All for you brother.”

In a second tweet, Cudi shared a screenshot of text messages from him and Juice WRLD following their first meeting at Coachella in 2019. In the texts, Juice WRLD expresses his appreciation for meeting the Cudi, to which he responded, “So awesome finally meeting u. Let’s stay in touch, im runnin around a bit but hopefully we can get up.”

Details on when Cudi will share his tribute to Juice WRLD remain to be seen. Last year, Cudi also confirmed that an album and tour would see arrive in 2020, but with the coronavirus impacting the industry in a number of ways, keeping to that promise may prove very difficult.

Netflix has been working in a movie version of Dragon’s Lair, the legendary (and legendarily maddening) arcade game in which players try to keep a brave but accident-prone knight, known as Dirk the Derring, from untold perils. Now it appears they may have found their Dirk: As per The Hollywood Reporter, Ryan Reynolds is in talks to take on a role that requires both action and comedy.

It makes sense to turn Dragon’s Lair into a movie, as it basically already was one. First released in 1983, it stood out from the likes of Donkey Kong and Space Invaders with its cutting-edge technology, which used early laserdiscs to create an interactive film. Players could control the fate of Dirk, out to rescue a princess held captive in the lair of an evil dragon, by moving the joystick in the right direction. If they failed — and players often did — Dirk was treated to an amusingly nasty death. The game made buckets of money due to its difficulty and because it cost 50 cents as opposed to the standard quarter.

Dragon’s Lair was animated by Don Bluth, who had dragged a number of fellow Disney animators away from the cartoon giant, forming his own company. Among the films they made were The Secret of NIMH, An American Tail, and The Land Before Time.

The film based on Bluth’s game will be written by Dan and Kevin Hageman, who have credits on The Lego Movie as well as last year’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark — a good sign that it’ll retain the game’s signature mix of adventure and humor.

(Via THR)

The coronavirus has caused a number of music festivals to either cancel or reschedule for late summer or fall. Lovers And Friends recently announced their festival would be moved to August 9 while Coachella, also under the Goldenvoice umbrella, will now unfold in mid-October. And now Primavera Sound while join in on the late-summer fun, announcing a new date for the Barcelona leg of their festival.

The heads of Primavera Sound, which originally scheduled for June 3-7, released a statement on their website, breaking the news.

There are things that only happen once in a lifetime. The current global COVID-19 health crisis is, unfortunately, one of them. But it won’t be the only one… Faced with this constantly changing scenario, the restrictions imposed by the authorities on the celebration of public shows and on the free movement of people (making the participation of the announced artists difficult and in many cases impossible) and in coordination with the Generalitat de Catalunya, the Barcelona City Council and the Sant Adrià de Besòs City Council, we are forced to postpone the upcoming edition of Primavera Sound Barcelona for reasons of force majeure known to us all.

It remains to be seen whether the new dates, August 26-30, will result in any changes to the lineup. Back in January, Primavera Sound announced that Tyler The Creator, Lana Del Rey, and The Strokes would headline, while Beck, Bad Bunny, Brockhampton, Young Thug, Freddie Gibbs & Madlib, Kim Petras, Koffee, and many more are also set to perform as well.

To read Primavera’s statement on the new festival date, click here.

Previously on the Best and Worst of Smackdown: Rob Gronkowski danced a jig, humped the ring post, and humiliated a wrestler to call WWE Celebrity Guest Bingo. Plus, Otis made a HAM sandwich out of any heel willing to show to to work during a global pandemic.

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Here’s the Best and Worst of WWE Friday Night Smackdown for March 27, 2020.

Pay No Attention To That Man Behind The Curtain

This column contains some reported WrestleMania news spoilers. Just wanted to let you know. No match results or anything, but if for some reason you’re reading about Smackdown on a wrestling blog and haven’t been inundated with OH NO WRESTLEMANIA news, I don’t necessarily want to be the one to break it to you.

Watching this week’s Friday Night Smackdown felt like two hours of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Per multiple reports, Roman Reigns opted to back out of his Universal Championship main event match against clown killer Bill Goldberg due to, well, you know, being immunocompromised after two battles with leukemia and not wanting to catch a virus that could kill him. That match has already been taped, too, with Roman being replaced by just the worst possible backup option. They could’ve shoehorned the Constable King in there or whatever, I guess, but WrestleMania, your main event, woof. I can’t WAIT to see what THAT Jackhammer looks like. I bet they did five takes and took a three hour nap break before it looked right.

Roman dropping out was reportedly due in part to The Miz showing up to the taping sick and getting sent home. So what is this week’s Smackdown mostly centered around? Promoting the Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg match like it’s still happening, and having The Miz set up a Smackdown Tag Team Championship match for WrestleMania. So … pretty depressing. The show was taped before all of this went down and there’s still another episode next week to explain the card changes, but it’s awfully carny of them to keep promoting matches they know aren’t going to happen not because of on-screen storylines, but because of real-world fear. I’m trying to give WWE the benefit of the doubt as they keep blindly marching toward oblivion while every other major sports organization and entertainment property has shut down, but man, at this point why are you even doing this show at all?

In other words,

Oh well, at least we’ve still got the Boneyard Match, which is called a “boneyard match” instead of a “graveyard” or “cemetery match” because they don’t want a world full of people scared about dying to hear words that make them think about dying. It’s not a graveyard, it’s a boneyard. Just a yard with some bones in it. Due to circumstances, not the “global pandemic” or the “coronavirus.” It’s not a disease, pal, it’s a championship!

Worst: Words Matter!

On last week’s show, Not General Manager Paige (with help from “her friends at Fox,” who I guess are booking matches now) announced that Bayley would be defending her Smackdown Women’s Championship against Lacey Evans and Dana Brooke. Bayley responded with, “oh you wanna add like, Tamina in there? Does she even work here anymore? I haven’t seen her in years.” It was such an accurate burn that WWE edited out the second half of it in their YouTube clip of the segment. This week, Tamina shows up and they treat her like she’s scary and dominant. It’s almost like what WWE says and what WWE does are two different things, and that heels are the ones who tell the truth because WWE wants to equate reasonable criticism and basic deductive reasoning to villainy and unpopularity in the eyes of their audience!

Also, Dana Brooke’s no longer in the match because she’s under quarantine, and Lacey Evans is calling Bayley and Sasha Banks “nasties” again in a really shitty tone only a few weeks after jokingly explaining to fellow affluent white lady Renee Young that “nasty” is actually a term of affection in the south. Narrator: It is not. Things are just great all over.

Best: Bye, Felicia

I’ll be straight with you, the only real highlight from this week’s episode for me is King Corbin sceptering Elias off the Cathy Kelley Memorial Juliette Balcony at the Performance Center and apparently murdering him in cold blood for singing another song about how Corbin’s a turd. Couldn’t have happened to a spoonier bard.

It’s the second best WWE moment of the year, right behind Elias singing a song about Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble and Brock leaving the ring to beat the piss out of him in the aisle. I hope the only interaction these two get at WrestleMania is Corbin nonchalantly filling a grave plot with dirt in the background during the Boneyard Match and making a cross out of a broken guitar neck.

This Week In Fine But Underwhelming And Flat Wrestling Matches In An Empty Gym

Two weeks ago, Daniel Bryan defeated Cesaro with a roll-up. Last week, Daniel Bryan teamed up with Drew Gulak against Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura and defeated Cesaro with a roll-up. So it only makes sense that this week, Drew Gulak would defeat Shinsuke Nakamura with a roll-up. There’s something truly Monkey Pawish about there being a lengthy Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak versus Sami Zayn, Cesaro, and Shinsuke Nakamura WrestleMania feud over the Intercontinental Championship, but it being performed exclusively through half-assed Smackdown matches in front of nobody. Imagine Savage/Steamboat, but the WWF spent 18 months telling you over and over that Randy Savage is a helpless coward, George Steele pinned him like six times in a row, and then Savage wrestled Steamboat in an abandoned warehouse.

In other Smackdown news to make you go, “for fuck’s sake what??” here’s Alexa Bliss beating Asuka clean with a DDT. Michael Cole trying to deal with Nikki Cross on commentary was pretty funny, though. Welcome to a strange new world where the best part of an Asuka match is Michael Cole.

As mentioned earlier, the main event of the show is The New Day and The Usos doing their best and trying to set up a WrestleMania match with that old booking chestnut of, “champion watches a number one contender match, thinks that if he attacks both contenders to ruin the match he won’t have to face anybody, and is then shocked to find out that since he ruined the match he’ll actually have to face BOTH of them in a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!” Miz and Morrison on commentary doing a bunch of WWE fan chants and not really meaning it is the best part, but even that’s hurt by the knowledge that Miz isn’t actually doing anything at WrestleMania, and that the triple threat for the Tag Team Championship isn’t a triple threat and doesn’t involve any tag teams.

As a quick side note, New Day is maybe the worst example of WWE Superstars having to do their entire bit and animations without paying attention to context. Big E doing the pre-entrance New Day declaration to an empty building was sad, man. Miz and Morrison were right to make fun of Kofi for spending 80% of the match clapping out of habit with nobody there to clap along. Read the room, y’all, damn. The people at home will understand.

Also In “WrestleMania” News

Otis is still infuriated about Instagram’s run-in from last week, and ends up getting challenged by Dolph Ziggler to a match at WrestleMania. Otis accepts, Ziggler says Mandy Rose is going to be in his corner (although she helpfully notes in a later segment that she’s not a “prize” to be awarded to the winner), and Tucky is like, “okay, guess I’ll die.” Just kidding, he’ll almost certainly be in Otis’ corner and either end the match by professing his love, or by swerving him to become Ziggler’s latest attempt at a Diesel.

Such a shame that the Otis and Mandy Rose story is going to come to a head at WrestleMania and nobody will be there to react to it. It’s like the romance novel equivalent of Gargano and Ciampa.

Bray Wyatt challenges John Cena to a “Firefly Funhouse Match” at WrestleMania, which I’m guessing is House of Horrors but with puppets hanging from the ceiling instead of creepy dolls. I hope they have the Vince McMahon doll driving the ghost tractor. Wyatt punctuates this challenge by murdering Ramblin’ Rabbit in a blender and drinking his corpse. In all seriousness, I am so excited to watch John Cena wrestle a clown on a bootleg Pee-wee’s Playhouse set and avenge the liquefying of the rabbit puppet who loved him. I bet he loves that he put Hollywood and his spot in a bad Instagram cover of ‘Imagine’ on hold for WrestleMania and ended up here.

And In Case You Weren’t Bored Enough

This week’s match from the archives shown in full is Triple H vs. Roman Reigns at WrestleMania 32, which is the worst possible thing to show if you’re trying to get people hyped for a Roman Reigns WrestleMania main event. They should’ve followed it with the match from 34 just to see if we’d put our heads through the TV. This is one of the best examples of an aging Triple H muddling through 30 minutes of an “epic match” formula to prove he’s the best worker in the world or something, despite never, ever being that. It’s the same thought process that leads to WWE revisionist history saying Triple H, “ruled the Attitude Era with an iron fist.” The man spent a decade doing matches like this over and over and over, hoping we’d think ANY of them were as good as Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock, or Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker. None of them were.

And I’m not saying Roman Reigns needs to keep his matches at Goldberg length, but whoever keeps asking him to go 25 minutes needs to take a Xanax.

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week

SHough610

Vince: Hey, Roman! You should check out Goldberg’s last few matches to get a feel for Mania.
Roman: Sounds good, boss!
:Roman watches Goldberg’s matches against the Fiend and the Undertaker:
Roman: Uh, hey Vince, it’s Roman. I’m not really comfortable risking my health by wrestling Goldberg at the Mania tapings.
Vince: Oh, you mean because you’re immunocompromised?
Roman: Yeah, let’s go with that.

notJames

Miz: “All my movies are dynamite to watch!”
Vince (in headset): “Stop… saying… DYNAMITE…!”

AshBlue

Throwing pancakes all over an empty arena?

The Real Birdman

Me: “Nothing could possibly be worse than WrestleMania 32”

The World: “Hold my beer I just coughed on”

Harry Longabaugh

BRYAN: Thankfully, my wrestling has improved thanks to Sensei Drew teaching me grappling, catch as catch can, and karate.
GULAK: Kara-TAY.

BVR

Sarcastic Song!
Bad Photoshops!
Current Topic Reference!
Condescension!
Poop Reference!

Elias has hit WWE Babyface BINGO!

Mark12

Lots of recent orders of the “I wasn’t at WrestleMania 36” clothing line from WWE Shop…

… from current talent.

LUNI_TUNZ

Ramblin Rabbit, WILL IT BLEND!

GLOSS

If an Elias falls and no one’s around to see/hear it, does anyone care?

Dave M J

You know we’ve made wishes on Monkey’s Paws before. It’s an easy joke.

But GOOD LORD, what did we wish on for this match between Daniel Bryan and Sami Zayn? A Babboon Ass that breaks wind when you wish on it?

That’s it for this week’s Best and Worst of Smackdown. As always, thanks for getting through this with us and checking out the column, especially during this pandemic. I’m trying, I promise. There’s just not much WWE can do if they won’t shut down for a few weeks, and not much I can write about them putting their heads down and trying to push through it. We appreciate you, as well as your comments in our comments section below, and your social media shares. It’s hard to stay employed and paid in new media without my country’s lifespan hinging on how nice certain governors are to the guy who shaved Vince McMahon’s head at WrestleMania 23.

See you next week, when Roman Reigns and Goldberg come face to face only hours before “their” match at WrestleMania, and John Cena responds to Bray Wyatt’s challenge for a Public Access Television For Haunted Children Brawl.