The best news to come out of ESPN NBA broadcaster Doris Burke’s announcement on Friday that she had tested positive for COVID-19 was that she is recovering and working her way back to full health. As she’s getting back to 100 percent, Burke wants to use her experience fighting the virus to help those who are going through their own battles.
Using a cool bit of science that could represent a path toward recovery for patients hit hardest by COVID-19, the disease caused by the new coronavirus, Burke is interested by a process that would extract healthy antibodies from her blood and use them to treat others who have been infected. Those antibodies do the work in recovered patients’ immune systems to build up immunity after having COVID-19. The thought is that antibodies can be taken from the blood of recovered folks like Burke and given to patients in more dire situations.
The idea came to Burke indirectly from Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. Her colleague, ESPN play-by-play man Ryan Ruocco, brought up a radio interview with Fauci on Bernard McGuirk’s morning drive show on WABC in New York, when he heard of her diagnosis.
“One of the things Dr. Fauci said and one other infectious disease doctor had said, basically, we believe you now have immunity,” Burke said on the Woj Pod. “So what I would like to know is, should I go donate blood or plasma so that if in some way this could help people, if it can help find some sort of vaccine. So that is on my docket to do, is to research and discover should I go donate blood or plasma in the hopes it can help somebody down the line.”
Doctors in New York, quickly becoming a coronavirus epicenter of its own, will soon begin testing treatment using antibodies from recovered patients’ blood on hospitalized people in the city, according to the New York Times. Anecdotal evidence of the procedure’s efficacy has come from China in recent weeks, but doctors and researchers will need to properly test it in a controlled environment to understand if and how it works as treatment. In the event this becomes a plausible path forward, it seems like Burke will do everything she can to be among those who lend a hand.
Social distancing measures in the United States have shuttered most breweries as places to gather and socialize, but Netflix’s Brews Brothers appears ready to serve as a comedic substitute while we all stay at home.
The show, which saw its first trailer hit on Friday, is set to stream on April 10 and centers around two estranged brothers forced to run a brewery together and settle their many, many differences. The show is set at Rodman’s, a Van Nuys brewery run by Mike Castle’s Adam and Alan Aisenberg’s Wilhelm.
“Beer is about bringing people together,”Aisenberg, as Wilhelm, says. “And Rodman’s is the perfect hang.”
But that’s quickly undone by the rest of the trailer, which includes some unsanitary conditions to say the least. There’s a monk fight, some gross-out humor and a lot of questionable business practices. The League co-creator Jeff Schaffer teamed up his brother, Greg (That ’70s Show), on the show, the latter of which will serve as showrunner.
One set piece revealed in the trailer is an IPA brewed with a hallucinogen in it, which should make for a pretty trippy episode to say the least. There’s some sex toy humor and other bits of grossness, but the interpersonal drama seems to drive the show forward. The brother-owned brewery will certainly have some tension, as the show makes it clear the siblings are very different characters.
“Usually two opposites complete each other,” a character played by Silicon Valley alum Carmen Flood. “You two don’t even make a normal person.”
The League star Steve Rannazzisi also makes an appearance in the trailer, though it seems to be in a guest staring role. We’ll see what else the show has in store in early April, but maybe check the health and safety records of the brewery you get your beverages from when you sit down to watch this one.
Until the last few years, Hulu was only known as the best place to find current shows from elsewhere on television. But now, with more and more acclaimed series under its belt, Hulu has proved it can compete with the other streaming services’ original programming. If you’re trying to figure out exactly which original show to watch next on Hulu, here’s a great place to start with a look at the 20 best Hulu original series right now.
Based on the Margaret Atwood novel of the same name, Handmaid’s Tale is set in a dystopian future run by a fundamentalist government renamed Gilead. The fertility rate has bottomed out, women have been deprived of their rights, and the men have turned them into reproductive vessels. This future, however, is so recently removed from the present that the misery of the women — forced to be submissive through electroshock and other forms of torture — is compounded by haunting memories of their most recent past. Top-lined by the exceptional performance of Elizabeth Moss, the series also boasts strong supporting turns from Yvonne Strahovski, Samira Wiley, Joseph Fiennes, and Alexis Bledel, whose character attempts to rebel against the autocratic government and suffers excruciating consequences. It’s a harrowing series, often so bleak that it’s difficult to watch, but in our current political climate, the themes of The Handmaid’s Tale resonate loudly, and the second season is even darker and more powerful.
Stephen King experienced a bit of a renaissance this year, at least on TV, but out of all of the adaptations from different streaming platforms, Hulu’s Castle Rock felt like the most realized, and most terrifying, of the lot. The show, which stars Sissy Spacek, Andre Holland, and Bill Skarsgard, follows the story of Henry (Holland) a death row attorney summoned home after a young man is found imprisoned beneath Shawshank prison. Henry’s got a murky past too, one that involves the unsolved murder of his father –- an event he has no memory of — and the strange happenings around town intensify as The Kid (Skarsgard) is set free and must figure out how he’s connected to Henry, his family, and the history of the town. It’s equal parts brilliant and terrifying, all you could ask for in a King adaptation. The show’s second run feels just as compelling, with Lizzy Caplan stepping into the orthopedic shoes of nurse Annie Wilkes, before her Misery days. She still troubled and causing trouble for the town of Castle Rock while trying to keep to the shadows with her daughter played by Eighth Grade’s Elsie Fisher.
Michaela Watkins stars as Valerie, a forty-something Mom whose husband just left her for a grad student in one of his classes (it’s a cliche for a reason). She and her daughter move in with her layabout brother, Alex (Tommy Dewey), an independently wealthy co-creator of a dating website. Alex is caddish but intensely likable, especially once viewers realize that his womanizing is a pretense, that he’s simply too afraid to reveal his true self for fear of rejection. Like Transparent, with which Casual shares some DNA, there’s an organic, improvised feel to the series, which alternates between funny and heartbreaking as it seeks to find the humor in the devastation of loss and the awkward challenges of finding someone new. It’s a tremendously good show that only gets better in its later seasons.
Patricia Arquette and Joey King star in this painfully measured series that follows the true story of Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Gypsy Rose was a young woman living with her mother, Dee Dee, in a small town in Missouri when police found her mother murdered in their home, and Gypsy nowhere to be found. The mystery surrounding the case soon spiraled into a story about the complicated bonds between mother and daughter, chronicling one woman’s descent into madness. Dee Dee suffered from Munchausen syndrome by proxy, a condition that caused her to fake many of Gypsy’s “illnesses” — from cancer to brain damage. When Gypsy finally realized the truth, she concocted a plan so outrageous and heinous, it had to be given the TV treatment.
Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle write, direct, and star in this cringe-worthy coming-of-age comedy about two preteens entering the 7th grade. The twist here is that both Erskine and Konkle, actresses in their 30s, play their middle-school-aged characters alongside actual 13-year-olds, elevating their comedy about awkward firsts and embarrassing pubescent mishaps to new heights. The show is full of humor while also covering some relatable, real-life issues that normally don’t make it to the small screen.
Comedian Ramy Youssef stars in this semi-autobiographical dramedy, playing a version of himself, a character named Ramy Hassan. Ramy navigates life growing up in New Jersey while straddling the line between the millennial generation he’s a part of and the Muslim community he belongs to. He wrestles with the constraints of his religion and his upbringing, while searching for meaning in more modern pursuits — drinking, partying, and hooking up. It’s heartwarming, eye-opening, and never takes itself too seriously.
You’ve probably found yourself asking, “What the hell is Letterkenny?” That question has probably come after yet another friend/co-worker/stranger on the street has stopped you to demand you watch the Hulu original. Well, here’s the answer: Letterkenny is a snappy comedy about a group of small-town folk just trying to get by. It mainly centers on two bros, Wayne and Darryl, and the schemes they come up with to make a buck, have a good time, and stir up their boring old town.
George Clooney, Kyle Chandler, and Christopher Abbott star in this re-telling of Joseph Heller’s classic novel. Abbot plays young recruit, Yossarian, a U.S. Air Force bombardier in World War II. Yossarian hopes to dodge having to serve in combat after the military ups the number of missions required before one’s service can be considered complete. He’s forced to face off against a truly sadistic colonel while fighting for his life on the front line. It’s ridiculous that Abbott isn’t a bigger name than he is, but he leads this farcical troupe with A-list swagger, and Chandler is surprisingly wonderful playing against his normal, lovable-dad typecasting.
The cult teen drama returns after a years-long hiatus and a successful Kickstarter-funded film to re-open the case. This time, Veronica (Kristen Bell) is investigating a catastrophic bombing of a popular spring break destination for college kids: Neptune, her hometown. She’s also struggling to balance her career and her tumultuous relationship with Logan (Jason Dohring) while pushing her ailing father to come clean about his health issues. This season, which is intended to be a continuance — so you should definitely check out Rob Thomas’ original work, also available on Hulu — marks a return to the show’s noir crime roots, and it’s so much better for it.
This historical drama starring Jeff Daniels and Peter Sarsgaard charts the build-up to 9/11 as seen through the eyes of agents in both the FBI and CIA. Daniels plays John O’Neill, the chief of the New York FBI’s Counterterrorism Center in the 1990s, who is convinced that a terrorist attack on the U.S. is imminent. He butts heads with Martin Schmidt (Sarsgaard), the CIA head of counterterrorism, who believes his agency is better equipped to deal with the threat of Al Qaeda and keeps valuable intel from the FBI. The action in this comes from watching Daniels and Sarsgaard, two incredibly talented actors, go head-to-head, chewing up every scene they’re in and obviously having fun doing it.
SNL breakout Aidy Bryant headlines this comedy series based on the best-selling book by Lindy West. Bryant plays Annie, a young writer living on the West Coast who struggles with body image issues, a floundering career as a journalist, and a family health crisis. Over the course of six episodes, she manages a toxic relationship with her sometimes-hookup, confronts an abusive boss, and takes on internet trolls, all while learning how to love her size. Bryant shines here and though there’s not as much in-your-face comedy from her as SNL fans might be used to, her quiet, reserved style better serves the story, which is a refreshing one.
Adapted by Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage from Adrian Alphona and Brian K. Vaughan’s Marvel comic, Runaways is a slick, briskly paced teen soap featuring high school students discovering and coming to terms with their burgeoning superpowers. Runaways finds that happy space between the heaviness of Marvel’s Netflix dramas and the more lightweight nature of their network series (Agents of SHIELD, Agent Carter). It’s a potent combination of compelling mystery and coming of age tale. The teen characters here are fantastic as they grapple with their own powers while investigating the dark history of their parents. Runaways takes a lot of cues from Schwartz and Savage’s The O.C. and Gossip Girl, respectively, although the series is not half as interesting when it’s exploring the conspiracy surrounding the parent characters, who are essentially the series’ supervillains. That storytelling deficit, however, is more than made up for by the existence of a dinosaur!
From creators Kyle Hunter and Ariel Shaffir and executive producers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg (the team behind Sausage Party), Future Man is basically a mash-up of The Last Starfighter, Back to the Future, and The Terminator. Josh Hutcherson stars as Josh Futterman, a loser-ish janitor at a science lab who becomes the first person ever to finish a nearly impossible-to-beat video game. The game, it turns out, is a training application sent back from the future to find humanity’s savior. Characters from the video game recruit Josh to travel back into the past to kill the head of the science lab (Keith David) where Josh works in the present to prevent his boss from developing a cure for herpes that somehow ends up wiping out humanity in the future. There’s a lot to unpack in its premise, but once Future Man gets to its feet and finds its heart, the character evolves into more than mouthpieces for quick-fire pop-culture riffs. Eliza Coupe (Happy Endings) is fantastic as a fast-talking badass with an arsenic-laced “rathole” and a fondness for hand-to-hand combat. It’s Preacher’s Derek Wilson, however, who proves to be the scene stealer. He’s basically Firefly’s Jayne Cobb plus an obsession with ’80s pop culture, cooking, and two-hit wonder Corey Hart, who also makes a cameo appearance. It’s a fast-paced, filthy, and hilarious homage to time-travel movies that boasts a hysterical hatred for James Cameron, who is the target of a lot of the series’ best jokes. What Future Man lacks in substance, it more than makes up for in laughs and season two of the series doubles down on that philosophy, thrusting characters in even more bizarre situations and tighter spandex costumes.
Co-produced by Hulu and the BBC, The Wrong Mans stars the current host of The Late Show, James Corden, as well as his fellow Gavin & Stacey co-star Mathew Baynton. It’s an exuberantly zippy series that combines office-comedy with action movie tropes as it sees two co-workers involve themselves in a complicated criminal conspiracy in an effort to enliven their humdrum lives and, more importantly, make heroes out of themselves. It’s a quick binge (the two seasons are only 8 half-hour episodes in all) and immensely entertaining. It’s light, unpredictable, surprisingly suspenseful and funny — often times hysterically so — as it mashes up and pokes fun of a number of different tropes, doing for the office comedy what Edgar Wright’s Hot Fuzz did for the buddy-cop film.
Written and directed by women (Moira Buffini and Coky Giedroyc, respectively), Harlots is set in 1763 England where one in every five women is a prostitute. The story concerns two competing brothels operated by Lydia Quigley (Lesley Manville) and Margaret Wells (Samantha Morton), the latter of whom reluctantly pimps out her two daughters, one of whom is a popular courtesan (Downton Abbey’s Jessica Brown Findlay) and another whose maidenhead is being auctioned off at a hefty price. There’s plenty of sex in Harlots, as one might expect from a series about competing brothels, but it’s not a sexy show. It’s more of a serious family drama about hardscrabble women using the only card they have in their 18th-century deck in an effort to maintain some sense of control over their lives. There’s power in sex, but as Harlots reveals, it only gets them so far. The series is a thoughtful costume drama that can be bleak at times (the corpse of a prostitute is used as a gruesome prop in the ongoing war between the brothels), but there are moments of crackling wit and a few stand-out performances, particularly that of Samantha Morton. Unfortunately, as the series’ first season progresses, it loses some of its momentum as it gets bogged down in its more soapy elements.
Produced by J.J. Abrams and created by Bridget Carpenter (a writer on Parenthood, Friday Night Lights), 11.22.63 is adapted from a Stephen King novel and stars James Franco as newly divorced high school teacher, Jake Epping, who finds a portal that takes him back to October 1960. There, Jake decides to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy, though doing so will upend the life he has made for himself. It’s an exhilarating premise, and it’s nearly impossible not to get hooked by the pilot. Unfortunately, once Epping finds himself in the 1960s, the series drops many of the time-travel elements and settles into a more conventional — and often tiresome — conspiracy thriller. Franco is solid in the lead role, but the series is derailed by its devotion to the source material. It’s not one of King’s best books, and while it does provide viewers with a satisfying, heartfelt pay-off, the slow pace makes the journey more of a chore than the destination ultimately warrants.
Based on the Kem Nunn novel of the same name, Chance stars Hugh Laurie as a forensic neuropsychiatrist, Dr. Eldon Chance. Chance — who is going through a divorce — becomes romantically involved with a patient named Lucy (Greta Lee). Pulled into her troubled life, Chance finds himself embroiled in a dispute between the femme fatale and her abusive husband, a violently jealous police officer who has his sights set on Chance. It’s a moody, psychological noir with heavy doses of intrigue and mystery, but the pacing here suggest that it would have been better told in half the number of episodes. The series too often drifts and seems more preoccupied with mood setting than telling a story. Hugh Laurie’s compelling performance keeps it afloat, while Ethan Suplee — who plays a street-smart assistant in an antique shop — steals every scene he’s in, delivering occasional bursts of violence to stir viewers awake.
Set in upstate New York, The Path concerns members of a fictional spiritual moment (or cult) called Meyerism. The series primarily revolves around Eddie Lane (Aaron Paul), who has a revelation while on a retreat that leads him to question his faith. Eddie, however, won’t confess his doubts to his devout wife, Sarah (Michelle Monaghan), who believes her husband is hiding an affair from her. Things are further complicated by Cal (Hugh Dancy), the charismatic and corrupt leader of the Meyerist Movement, whose ambitions are often at odds with the more altruistic motives of the movement. While featuring strong performances from its leads, The Path is an achingly slow burn that doesn’t catch fire until near the end of the first season only to fizzle out again when the second season kicks off. There’s a fascinating story being told on The Path, but it’s not currently one that warrants 10 episodes a season, and the series often labors to spread its thin story across a canvass that is too large. The magical realist elements of the series only exacerbate its problems. It’s not a bad show thanks to the strong efforts of its leads, but it is one that struggles to figure out what it wants to say. Unfortunately, it got the ax after three seasons.
Zoe Kravitz produces and stars in this departure from Nick Hornby’s beloved 1995 novel, playing a young record store owner who fights against the gentrification of her Brooklyn neighborhood while replaying a string of failed relationships to the tune of indie hits. The story feels like a more mellow version of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag, and the soundtrack is fire.
The brains behind sci-fi thrillers like Ex Machina and Annihilation gives us another mind-bending drama, this time for the small screen. Devs focuses on a young software engineer named Lily Chan who begins digging into a secret division of the cutting-edge tech company she works for in Silicon Valley because, get this, they probably murdered her boyfriend.
It’s hard for anything to feel normal right now. People are stuck inside as a precaution while hospitals in every corner of the globe are working to identify and treat those who are suffering from COVID-19. It’s a necessary precaution for the time being, but it can certainly still be really difficult.
There are plenty of ways that folks have stayed entertained amid this period of self-isolation. Watching old sporting events, playing video games, reading books, and getting work done from home are the sorts of things that people have turned to, but there are still ways to have virtual gatherings with others. One extremely popular example of this is DJ D-Nice’s Club Quarantine, a live-streamed set that has attracted hundreds of thousands of viewers and has featured cameos — in some form or fashion — from some of the biggest names in music and culture.
The NBA has decided to get in on the fun. The league announced that DJ D-Nice will bring Club Quarantine to its official Instagram account on Friday evening, with a set that is scheduled to go from 7-9 p.m. EST.
It’s hardly the first thing the league has done on IG to keep fans engaged while it’s on hiatus — earlier in the day on Friday, Indiana Pacers star Victor Oladipo held a concert on the account. Even beyond these sorts of musical performances, the NBA has handed the keys to its Instagram over to a number of basketball players, like Elena Delle Donne, P.J. Tucker, and Damian Lillard.
Nav, Gunna, and Travis Scott put together an unforgettable three-man weave on Astroworld’s “Yosemite,” and now the trio is back for more. Nav released “Turks” today, a long-awaited reunion where the three men reel off a dizzying array of melodic flows over a Wheezy production.
Jeezy — Twenty/20 Pyrex Vision
Out of nowhere, Jeezy released Twenty/20 Pyrex Vision, a seven-track mixtape which shows the Snowman back in the kitchen and cookin’ up the brand of trap that made him a legend.
Mick Jenkins Songs
Mick Jenkins released a pair of tracks this week. He trades bars with Kojey Radical over gloomy piano play on “Snakes,” while “Front Street” is another strong collaboration with Kaytranda, where he celebrates that, “I done stamped up two whole passports.”
Channel Tres — “Weedman”
Channel Tres offered up his first 2020 track with “Weedman,” an ode to “going to the weed man’s spot” that’s too timely while most of the world is quarantined with cabin fever, lighting up or wishing they could.
Fivio Foreign — “Wetty”
Rising drill rapper Fivio Foreign released a video for “Wetty,” a song that had been buzzing for months in his native Brooklyn based off of a snippet he posted. He properly fed the anticipation for the single with a video that tells a sordid crime story.
Kari Faux — “While God Was Sleepin’”
Kari Faux shows off her MC chops on “While God Was Sleepin,” slithering through a sultry verse about her siren-like aura over a bouncy production.
Marlon Craft — “Mom’s Whiskey” Feat. Kota The Friend
Marlon Craft’s “Mom’s Whiskey” is as literal as it sounds. Over email, he divulged that, “I literally found a stashed bottle of my mom’s whiskey that she had hidden when I was looking for a pen. I found that beat on YouTube and it all just spilled out.” Brooklyn’s Kota The Friend matched Marlon’s reflection with his own personal verse, rhyming about the “rooftop of my hometown, where the sweet chick is my soul food.”
Sada Baby — “Outside” Feat. Trap Manny
Sada Baby probably has every viewer of his “Outside” video longing for the mundanity of simply being outside of their home. But luckily, his fans can listen to his energetic collaboration with Trap Manny as well as the rest of his Skuba Sada 2 project.
King Von — “Trust Issues” Feat. Yungeen Ace
Chicago’s King Von is known for his storytelling prowess, and he’s back at it again on “Trust Issues,” a melancholy chronicle about the hardships of love where Yungeen Ace exclaims, “I thought you was real, don’t know now.”
Blacc Zacc — “Carolina Narco The Movie”
South Carolina rapper offered up a gripping short film entitled “Carolina Narco The Movie” to pair with his album of the same name, noting over email that he “wanted to create this film because nobody’s been dropping movies with their projects lately.” The film chronicles a drug crew’s rocky navigation of the unforgiving drug game.
Alfred. — “Prndl/Dr. Call”
Alfred.’s One Trick Pony EP is out today. Earlier this week, the ambitious artist released a double feature for his singles directed by Connor Barret. “Prndl” is a searing stream of consciousness, while “Dr. Call” shows off producer Clwdwlkr’s dreamy production.
Rockie Fresh feat. Casey Veggies and 24Hrs — “Feelings Hurt”
It’s been a while since Casey Veggies and Rockie Fresh’s Fresh Veggies joint project, but you wouldn’t know it to hear their new song. The chemistry they show remains intact, even with the addition of 24Hrs.
Pretty Ricky — “Body”
Pretty Ricky hasn’t released a music video in years. Their video for the sultry “Body” shows that they’re still as freaky as they wanna be, romantically crooning about “sucking on that body like an infant” on the single.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Last time in the Best and Worst of NXT UK: Trent Seven helped out Flash Morgan Webster and Bomber Dave Mastiff against Gallus, but it wasn’t enough to secure a victory. If you’d like to read previous installments of the Best and Worst of NXT UK, click right here. Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter if you want.
And now, the Best and Worst of NXT UK from March 26, 2020.
Best: Tag Team Storytelling
WWE
Okay yes, on one level this was Oliver Carter and Ashton Smith — the only two black guys on the roster — losing a match to the two whitest guys around, Marcel Barthel and Fabian Aichner. Importantly, however, this wasn’t a squash match. Carter and Smith are learning to work together as a cohesive tag team, and it took some effort for the often-dominant Aichner and Barthel to get the win.
Even though they lost here, Carter and Smith are starting to seem like a tag team that could matter. In fact, after this match there’s a backstage segment where they set up a match with Pretty Deadly. That’s one Carter and Smith ought to actually win, and hopefully more victories follow. Eventually they’ll make there way back around to Imperium, and after Barthel gets to be like “Vat? Ve already beat you!” they can have an even more competitive match than this one, where we won’t know who wins going in.
Best: Battle Royal Promos
WWE
Remember on those early Royal Rumble PPVs, when basically every guy on the roster got to cut a promo about how he was going to win the Royal Rumble? Even if it was some also-ran like Brutus Beefcake being like “I’m gonna CUT THROUGH the competition!” and you were like “yeah, that’s not happening,” it was still a fun opportunity to see the entire roster talk for a minute, just to remind you what a full collection of characters they had. And they would each relate whatever feud or story they had going on to the match, so it back part of like 15 different angles at once.
Anyway, NXT UK brings some of that energy to this episode, with a whole bunch of promos about next week’s 20-man Battle Royal. We get Flash Morgan Webster talking about winning the Battle Royal for his partner Mark Andrews, who’s still out of commission from last week’s backstage beating. Bomber Dave Mastiff talks about how he’ll win it because he’s the toughest guy around. Noam Dar takes a moment after his match to exclaim that he’ll win because the other 19 guys are all dafties. Gallus even discusses their Battle Royal plans over a card game in a scene that’s halfway between Reservoir Dogs and That ’70s Show. It’s all a lot of fun, is what I’m getting at.
WWE
Best: Don’t F With The Valkyrie
WWE
Nina Samuels went looking for this fight, and she gets what she deserves. As we saw last week, Nina called out Aoife Valkyrie specifically because Aoife’s the most hyped new female star, and Nina thinks she can get the attention she feels she deserves by beating the new girl. Which would be a fine plan if Nina was as good as she thinks she is, but she was never really going to beat the Valkyrie.
Of course, like a lot of things in wrestling, this story is a little bit muddled by the inevitable blurring of kayfabe and real life. Because the truth is, Nina Samuels is a veteran who probably could do more than she’s being given in NXT UK. And Aoife Valkyrie is full of potential, but she still has a lot to learn. At the end of the day, this is kind of what developmental wrestling (or maybe just wrestling) is all about: People with experience putting over the stars of tomorrow until they’re ready to become the stars of today.
And that’s fine. Nina Samuels is great at playing her “grown up theatre kid” character, and she’s probably more fun haunting the women’s undercard than she would be in the main event. And I like that they’re taking their time with Valkyrie. Keep away from Piper Niven and Kay Lee Ray until she’s really ready for a big push. It all makes sense in the long run, and this was a fun match along the way.
Worst: Everybody’s Talented
WWE
I’ll be honest, I’m still trying to see the appeal in A-Kid. I don’t have anything against him, but so far he’s just a guy who looks like eight other guys in this company (more on that in a minute), despite being from a different country than any of them. He can go in the ring, sure, but so can almost everybody on this show! WWE cherry-picked the indies in the UK and across half of Europe, so there’s no shortage of talent, despite the occasional rando in a horned mask or whatever.
Noam Dar is always great, of course, and he narrowly avoids looking like nine either guys just by growing his hair a little shaggier and shaving his face. And overall this match was good. I just don’t care about A-Kid yet, and I’m hoping that changes soon.
Best/Worst: The Kip Sabian Division
WWE
On the subject of similar-looking guys in NXT UK, the other night during Impact a friend of mine was saying (on chat of course, because we’re Social Distancing) that Kip Sabian is a little bit generic, and I said “It’s true, there’s at least five or six of him in NXT UK.” And here we are, the very next day in the main event, with an NXT Cruiserweight Championship match between the Champion, a slim dark-haired athletic guy in his early thirties, and the challenger, a slim dark-haired athletic guy in his early thirties.
I like Jordan Devlin, and I’d like to defend him against myself and say he’s not that generic, but honestly when you place him alongside the more cartoonish assholery of Noam Dar and the militaristic aggressiveness of Imperium, Devlin’s heel gimmick pretty much comes down to “full of himself and meaner than he needs to be” which isn’t exactly setting the brand on fire with originality.
Still, this is a solid match once again between two talented guys, and this is a brand where the best wrestlers are often in the main event, so you can’t really complain. Also, unless there are more episodes in the can than my research has found, next week is the last of what’s already been recorded, so it’s probably best to enjoy everything we can before we leap into the dark abyss that is the future of wrestling in the time of Coronavirus.
NXT UK Takeover: Dublin has already been postponed, which wasn’t addressed in this episode, so much as they just didn’t mention it. There was talk about what happens next week, but nothing about what comes after that. Watching NXT UK right now feels a bit like one of those Doctor Who episodes where the Doctor knows somebody’s about to be killed but he can’t tell them or stop it, for fear of messing up the timeline.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure NXT UK will be back before too awfully long. Maybe there will even be an episode in two weeks, but I have doubts. For now, let’s just look forward to next week, when twenty men meet in a Battle Royal, and Piper Niven teams up with Dani Luna to face Jinny and Kay Lee Ray. After that, well, we’ll see where we are.
Social distancing continues this weekend amid the global pandemic, and Netflix has new series ready to fill that time. If nothing here suits your sensibilities, check out our guide to What You Should Watch On Streaming Right Now.
Ozark (Netflix series) — The third season of this Jason Bateman-starring-and-directed series sets itself on fire and rises from the ashes. Yes, there will still be some Breaking Badcomparisons, whether folks agree or not, but this season is a fresh spin on the existing Ozark formula-gimmick, and it satisfyingly rises to the challenge. Marty can’t cope, and as a result, the show evolves into a more complex creature.
Uncorked (Netflix film) — A wine enthusiast Elijah (Mamoudou Athie), attempts to achieve the elite designation of “a master sommelier,” and it’s the kind of dream that greatly upsets his father, Louis (Courtney B. Vance), who would prefer that he take over the family business, a Memphis barbeque joint. The film digs into the politics of race and wine as Prentice Penny’s feature debut.
Westworld (Sunday, HBO 9:00 p.m.) — The confusion continues as the third season of this series causes folks to lash out at what they see “in the mirror.” Theories abound already, so get dive into the futuristic dystopia.
Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness (Netflix series) — This true crime series is truly stranger than fiction and serves as a welcome distraction during a weekend of self-isolation. Watch as Joe Exotic, a mulleted, gun-toting polygamist and country vocalist, uses his charismatic ways to share his passion for big cats. He’s joined, while running an Oklahoma roadside zoo, by a bizarre crew, and there’s a murder-for-hire plot afoot.
Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution (Netflix documentary) — Barack and Michelle Obama executive produced this documentary about a landmark movement (including a transformative but ramshackle summer camp for disabled teenagers) that happened down the street from Woodstock.
Agatha Christie’s The Pale Horse: Season 1 (Amazon series) — This is technically a week-old release but still fresh. Starring Rufus Sewell as the heroic Mark Easterbook, the story follows a dying woman whose last Catholic confession includes a terrible secret, and she names names. Following the priest’s mysterious death, sh*t gets realer.
Blow the Man Down (Amazon film) — This film follows two sisters (Morgan Saylor and Sophie Lowe) who are grieving their mother’s death in a Maine fishing village. They encounter a dangerous man and cover up the gruesome results while diving into the darkest secrets of Easter Cove.
Here’s the rest of this weekend’s notable programming:
Charmed (Friday, CW 8:00 p.m.) — The sisters must confront their worst fears — this probably has to do with more demons — in order to preserve the power of three.
Dynasty (Friday, CW 9:00 p.m.) — Dominique and Vanessa want to be reality stars, and Culhane signs on while Liam’s digging around for information on his baby mama.
Batwoman (Sunday, CW 8:00 p.m.) — Batwoman must confront an old villain while Alice finds herself challenged by overcoming her own limits.
Supergirl (Sunday, CW 9:00 p.m.) — Supergirl must take down Leviathan, all while Lex embarks upon a plan to grow close to Lea, and the origins of his power are revealed.
The Walking Dead (Sunday, AMC 9:00 p.m.) — Eugene’s on a journey with the group, who’s looking forward to making friends with a different civilization in the aftermath of the Hilltop fire. Good luck?
Zoe’s Extraordinary Playlist (Sunday, NBC 9:00 p.m.) — A mysterious glitch with Zoey’s mojo follows bad news, but let’s hope that she can get her powers back.
Homeland (Sunday, Showtime 9:00 p.m.) — Carrie’s probably still freaking out here during the show’s final season, but here’s something significant: Wellington has made a discovery.
Black Monday (Sunday, Showtime 10:00 p.m.) — There’s a mystery afoot in Yassir and Wayne’s office, and Dawn has found herself in (another) compromising situation. Yikes.
As the coronavirus continues to spread and cities across the country have issued shelter-in-place ordinances, many find themselves isolated indoors. Musicians have responded by offering channels of entertainment to beat the boredom of quarantine. Death Cab For Cutie’s Ben Gibbard is hosting daily livestreams from the comfort of his living room. Charli XCX hosted a series of livestreams with musical guests. Now, Anderson .Paak is offering entertainment specifically for children.
Anderson .Paak announced his inaugural weekly creative series titled Paint With .Paak, in partnership with his foundation .Paak House. All ages are urged to participate in the coloring contest and .Paak will be sharing his favorite final products every day on his social media accounts. A brand new sketch goes live each Friday in the Paak House Instagram bio. Here’s the first one:
12 Tone Music
The .Paak House foundation, according to a statement, “seeks to create a ‘safe-haven; for the next generation, while cultivating alliances with like-minded non-profit organizations to generate a greater impact – TOGETHER.” The .Paak House creates a safe-haven is through community outreach, sponsored events, summer programs, and after-school programs, all leading to establishing an actual .Paak House building in an impacted community.
Read more of Uproxx’s coverage on the coronavirus here.
Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Much like legendary VH1 show Name That Video and Name That Tune before it, the contestants on Wheel of Fortune have really upped the ante these days in their impressive solves. In the past few months alone we’ve seen a puzzle get solved with just three letters, which was then bested by a two-letter solve that netted a trip to Peru.
Thursday’s episode, however, was an even more remarkable feat: a toss-up puzzle that took a single letter to solve by a man named Mark.
The puzzle read “_ ‘ _ – _ _ _ _ _ G – _ – _ _ _ _” shortly after the timing ding sounded and Mark, ever ready to pounce, rang in right away.
“I’m having a ball,” he said, before apologizing for actually getting the answer right so fast. Mark got $2,000 for the effort and won a trip to London on the day as well, but despite his impressive guessing he didn’t actually make it to the prize round. It still makes for an impressive solve video that kind of freaked a lot of people out online as sports fans search for something to watch in the wake of social distancing and a lack live sporting events.
And not to discredit Mark here, but he was getting some helpful hints from the other puzzles just before them, all which contained the word “ball.” If you assume the last word is “ball” and the first letter narrows down what you think your options are, you can jump to this conclusion fairly quickly. Below is the lead-up to the solve, which explains at least a bit why he was able to narrow it down.
Still this is, of course, the opposite of 2017’s infamous “A Streetcar Naked Desire” solve fail, which you can watch below in case you forget that incredible moment of Wheel history.
Previously on the Best and Worst of WWF Raw Is War: Extremely original and hilarious idea GILLBERG debuted, Mankind provided The Rock with the soundbite that’ll cost him the WWF Championship at the Royal Rumble, and Val Venis got put in the penile morgue for trying to flirt with Ken Shamrock’s hot sister.
Hey, you! If you want us to keep doing retro reports, share them around! And be sure to drop down into our comments section to let us know what you thought of these shows. Head back to a time long forgotten when WWE TV was fun to watch, and things happened!
And now, the Best and Worst of WWF Raw Is War for January 18, 1999.
Corporate Bail-out
WWE
This week’s primary story is one you might be familiar with in 2020: a corporation having a couple of bad weeks and handling it by completely destroying everything around them.
Two weeks ago, Stone Cold Steve Austin and D-Generation X teamed up to help Mankind upset The Rock and become WWF Champion. Last week, Stone Cold returned to help Chyna win a “Corporate Rumble” designed to humiliate D-X and give Mr. McMahon the number 30 spot in the Royal Rumble proper. Also Kane got a championship match against Mankind when The Rock had to barter for one and then Rock got him disqualified, so things are tense all over.
This week, Rock’s supposed to face Kane one-on-one in a match made by Commissioner Michaels before the darkness came, so The Corporation spends the entire episode talking down to Kane about how he needs to follow orders and calling him a “retard” over and over. The World Wrestling Federation has a real love affair with “retard” as an insult, so much so that “The Big Red Retard” became one of Kane’s recurring nicknames. It was a different time. You have to understand, 20 years ago we had no IDEA that people with intellectual disabilities were human beings.
WWE Network
In addition to Kane and Rock’s issue, The Corporation has been tasked with (1) hunting and presumably killing Mankind to help soften him up for the Rock at the Royal Rumble, and (2) reasserting their dominance over the roster by going violently buck wild on anyone they come across backstage. For example, here are Ken Shamrock and the Big Boss Man jumping Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart and beating them around the head and neck with an entire hallway.
Boss Man knocks out both numbers by attacking Mankind backstage ahead of their scheduled Hardcore Championship match and throwing him into some free-standing chairs, which sets a dangerous precedent for the remainder of Mick Foley’s January. They find their way out to the ring after a few segments — this is before any 24/7 rules were attached to the Hardcore Championship, by the way, so falls still count anywhere, but you’ve got to actually like, do a match to get a “fall” going in the first place — and Mankind looks like he has it won with the dreaded Socked Fingertips In The Mouth. Unfortunately for Mick and eventually his family, The Rock shows up for the disqualification and absolutely BRAINS him in the back of the skull with a chair. Jesus Christ already, dude.
WWE Network
Not sure how Boss Man got disqualified in a match with no disqualifications, but I’m guessing it’s because the ref didn’t want to see that chair shot nine more times. BRB, trying to Bran Stark back in time and prevent Mankind from agreeing to any aspect of the finish at the Royal Rumble.
WWE Network
Meanwhile Ken Shamrock, seen here looking like the focal point of a Renaissance painting, ruins a Test vs. Bill Ass match (as much as “ruining” a match between those two is possible) and puts a broken ankle and the fear of God into Billy for mooning his sister last week. He fucks him up so bad he’s got Bill sobbing and clutching the ring steps and tapping away at them mindlessly to make the pain stop. As though “tapping out” gets you out of real life fights. Billy spends the next segment backstage on the floor while the Road Dogg squats over him like, “damn man, maybe next time don’t show your entire asshole to an MMA legend’s family to try to piss him off.”
Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet, but yes, that’s future Smackdown General Manager (player!) Teddy Long on referee duty. Long, who started as a ref in the NWA before become the manager of tag teams like Doom (featuring Ron Simmons before he was a Satanic cultist) and the Skyscrapers (featuring The Undertaker before he was dead), joined the World Wrestling Federation as a ref again in late December. I think it’s matches like this one that fostered his dedication toward keeping bouts with non-finishes going as tag team matches.
WWE Network
Anyway, back to The Rock and Kane. In a nice middle finger to WCW’s Fingerpoke of Doom, Mr. McMahon brings out the entire Corporation and tells fans not to get excited about a main event, because there isn’t going to be one, as Kane’s just going to do the right thing and lay down for The Rock. If not, they’re sending Kane back to the “loony bin.” Seems like someone at that institution would get curious about the wrestling promoter bringing a 7-foot tall fire demon in for treatment and start watching the weekly shows to find out what the hell’s going on, but whatever. Kane, who wants neither of these outcomes, tells McMahon to go screw with a virulent arm gesture and gets attacked from behind by EVERYBODY.
After he’s been thoroughly beaten down, nWo style, Rock orders the Corporation to the back so he can finish the match on his own. Of course this is KANE we’re talking about, a true artist when it comes to selectively no-selling, so eventually he recovers enough to fight back. The Corporation then comes BACK out, which brings out Mankind to run interference with the same steel chair Rocky used to kill roughly 15% of his functioning brain cells earlier in the night. Rock flees backwards up the ramp, which has never ended badly for anyone, and is cut off at the pass by the appearance of a wild Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin’s spent most of the show out in the parking lot drinking beers, possibly because he read the call sheet and read about the Mark Henry and Chyna segments coming up, but he wanders in at the end to make sure Foley gets more situational revenge. Foley clobbers Rock in the back with the chair — in the back, Rock — and the show goes off the air with the heroes (-ish) standing tall.
So, uh … about those Mark Henry and Chyna segments …
Worst: The Hall Of Shame
WWE Network
Over the past few months, the World Wrestling Federation has been trying to get Mark Henry to quit. He signed a 10-year, 10-million dollar contract back in 1996 to keep him from signing with WCW at the height of that sort of thing. Henry was a fairly accomplished weight lifter and strong man, and they thought for sure he was going to be a big deal. When he wasn’t, mostly due to a combination of inexperience and WWE rarely ever knowing how to write characters or stories for a person of color beyond “they love to have fun” or “they’re actually the racists,” they wanted out. So they turned him into “Sexual Chocolate,” had him do extended S&M bits with the Pretty Mean Sisters, and, as we’ve seen in recent weeks, paired him up with Chyna’s “friend” Sammy.
This week, we first find Chyna walking down a hallway with Henry following behind, begging her to not do what she’s about to do because his family is in attendance. That’s his mom in the above picture, by the way. We come to find out that Chyna has footage of Sammy trying to seduce Mark Henry in the locker room last week, and to make matters worse, gasp, Sammy’s actually a cross-dresser! Mark is into it and even compliments Sammy’s “tight ass” until he gets into blurred undercarriage territory, at which point he discovers Sammy’s …
WWE Network
Mark sells the fact that he briefly touched a penis by vomiting, and then Chyna declares she’ll never sleep with him and punches him in the balls. Henry’s mom then gently spanks him as the segment ends, and we catch up with them after the break walking down the hallway amidst more gentle hand and butt spanking. Honestly looking back on it, the stuff with Sammy’s not even as embarrassing as Mark Henry’s mom begrudgingly going along with the segment and half-assedly “spanking” her grown-ass son because someone told her it’d be funny. The complete lack of enthusiasm really sells it. Also, goddamn were the late ’90s insensitive as hell to everybody.
I’d also like to point out that the episode where Mark Henry vomits because he touched a cross-dresser’s penis and gets escorted out of the arena by his disappointed mother while being lightly bopped on the bottom opens with a video package about Martin Luther King Jr., because it’s happening on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. You can’t make this up. Sorry, did I type “can’t?” I meant wouldn’t.
WWE Network
The night’s not over for Chyna, though. She’s being punished for eliminating Mr. McMahon and winning the Corporate Rumble by being forced to compete in a handicap match against Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco. In case you thought this might play as an empowering look at how one strong woman could easily kick the dog shit out of two bumbling old morons, don’t worry, it’s mostly about how much fun the old morons are having touching her butt and boobs.
WWE Network
As a reminder, this is happening two weeks after Mick Foley won the WWF Championship in the unforgettable Raw ending that “turned the tide” in the Monday Night War. And like, sure, WCW Monday Nitro was pretty bad at this point, but it didn’t have Mean Gene throwing powder in Miss Elizabeth’s eyes so he could comically jiggle her tits against her will and then act like it was gross because he’s gay. Chyna gave them a double Testicular Claw at the start of the match, though, so I guess what’s good for the gander is good for the geese. But still, even for a guy in 1999, Vince Russo had some serious developmental and emotional disabilities as a storyteller. Anything that isn’t contingent on Rock, Austin, McMahon, and Foley ends up being way too goth or from the perspective of a middle-schooler who just found a weird old Playboy in the woods behind their house.
Sable shows up to help at one point, but gets instantly attacked and removed from the equation by Luna Vachon. It’s like ECW if it was booked on cocaine instead of poverty. Chyna kicks the Stooges’ asses after the groping and pins them, at least, so that’s something.
Speaking Of ‘Way Too Goth’
WWE Network
Undertaker gives Mideon his name — “Mideon” … well, “Midian,” the revised spelling comes later — and promises a second sacrifice at the Royal Rumble. He makes good on that promise by (spoiler alert) kidnapping and Satanizing a returning Mabel, turning him into “Viscera.” Mabel would start as a rapper, turn goth, and eventually become a big fat ladies man who loves to have fun to complete the triple crown of throwaway WWF gimmicks of the ’90s and 2000s.
Worst: Road Dogg And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Table
WWE Network
In other horned-up perverts versus goths news, Road Dogg has a hardcore match against Gangrel. Things are going pretty well until the finish, which is supposed to be Road Dogg putting Gangrel through a table with a running elbow drop off the apron. Yes, I watch Botchamania as well, go ahead and cue up ‘The View’ while you read this part.
WWE Network
Things start off pretty badly when Roadie drops the running elbow off the apron and the table doesn’t break. To his credit, he immediately calls an audible, runs back up onto the apron, and jumps off with what’s more or less a Boom Drop. The table only kind of breaks. He decides he’s going to save this finish or die trying, so he rushes into the ring and excitedly climbs up to the top rope. It’s at this point he starts second guessing himself, so instead of like, flying off the top turnbuckle with a Swanton Bomb or whatever, he ends up jumping off the outside of the second rope with the saddest little bunny hop you’ve ever seen:
WWE Network
When that STILL doesn’t completely break the table, Dogg pulls Gangrel up, moves him around a little, and Irish whips him into the one of the angled-up table halves. Nothing. It just flattens out. So he goes over AGAIN and tries to break the goddamn thing AGAIN with a vertical suplex. And that shits still doesn’t break. So having ostensibly having failed to break the table in a satisfying manner after five attempts, Road Dogg just poor Gangrel with two chair shots and pins him.
Next time Trevor Belmont wants to kill Dracula, he should try elbow dropping him through a banquet table without the metal lining removed.
Also Terrible On This Episode
WWE Network
I don’t know what happened this week, but WWF Creative seems to have completely forgotten how to tell a story. And I don’t mean the stories they’re telling aren’t “good” or “interesting,” I mean they’ve forgotten basic shit like who the characters are, why they’re doing anything they’re doing, and why you have to follow through with match stipulations if you make them.
For example, remember when Owen Hart accidentally “broke Dan Severn’s neck” during a match, announced his retirement from wrestling and revealed that he wasn’t actually retired, he was just using that as a smoke screen to dress up like the Blue Blazer and help Jeff Jarrett win matches? Or something? And then an angry Dan Severn spent several weeks showing up in a neck brace to try to guilt Owen about the entire thing? Yeah, it turns out Severn was actually NEVER INJURED AT ALL, and was on Owen’s side the entire time. We find out out when he’s supposed to be guest refereeing a Lion’s Den match between Steve Blackman and Owen Hart on Sunday Night Heat, dramatically removes the brace, and attacks Blackman for some reason.
On Raw, Severn low blows Blackman on purpose to get himself disqualified, and then spends the post-match trying to choke him out with a Dragon Sleeper. So like … okay? Why? Who is this for?
WWE Network
In a similar situation, Goldust and Al Snow have been feuding over Goldust stealing Head, so they have a “Winner Gets Head” match. Get it? Do you get it? Do you get the clever play on words? Al Snow wins, but Goldust beats him up after the match and leaves with Head anyway. So the stipulation didn’t actually matter, nobody’s going to even try to enforce it, and we just sat through the match for nothing. Goldust putting Goldust makeup on head like it’s a gift from Sting is literally the only highlight.
Finally, Vince McMahon Is Prepared For Stone Cold Steve Austin (And The Coronavirus)
WWE Network
Need someone to step in and help main-event your empty gym WrestleMania in the middle of a global pandemic so you don’t lose a weekend of money? Why not ask Mr. McMahon himself, seen here finishing his Royal Rumble training by beating up Dr. Tom and shit-canning some masked jobbers in an empty warehouse?
WWE Network
He’ll even hit you with some terrible looking Stunners, N64 video game style, which predate Stone Cold Steve Austin’s social distancing nut-shot version by over 20 years. Vince promises that at the Royal Rumble he’s going to get him some, so hopefully the Lucha House Party and Byron Saxton will be in there with him to validate this training.
Next Week:
Netflix
It’s time for the Royal Rumble. It’s fun for the whole family! See you then!
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