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The Best Bottles Of Whiskey For Under $20

The best “cheap” bottles of whiskey manage to be versatile yet accessible. What we mean by that is that you can use these expressions as a base for a cocktail or highball or, in a pinch, pour them over some rocks. You can drink them like a shot, too, if that’s your thing. (It might not be the easiest shot you ever take, but nonetheless — shootable.)

Cheap whiskey doesn’t have to be bad is what we’re getting at. Sure, you have the bottom of the bottom shelf bottles — you know, that stuff that comes in big plastic jugs that you can use as a cleaning agent in case you run out of Lemon Pledge. But we’re not there to talk about those. We’re calling out the bottles that come in actual glass but still won’t break the bank.

The ten bottles below are perfectly drinkable examples of whiskey from the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. We’re not saying these are the best whiskeys in the world. Pretty far from it. We’re saying that they’ll get the job done if you’re looking to tie one on and don’t have a lot of scratch to spare.

Heaven Hill Old Style Bourbon

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Heaven Hill Distillery, Bardstown, KY
Average Price: $8

The Whiskey:

Heaven Hill’s brands are going to come up a lot on this list. They’re the Kentucky distillery that’s shed all pretension to bring us solid whiskey at affordable prices with no bullshit. As with this whiskey, there’s little meddling besides classic distilling and aging with the added bonus of charcoal filtration to smooth things out.

Tasting Notes:

There’s the thinness to this sip that works in its favor. There are subtle notes of bourbon vanilla, caramel, and a hint of apple. The vanilla and caramel really carry through with a slight alcohol burn, minor woodiness, and bitterness that leads towards the swift and mild finish.

Old Fitzgerald Prime Bourbon

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Heaven Hill Distillery, Louisville, KY
Average Price: $9

The Whiskey:

Another Heaven Hill entry at a great price. Prime is a simple bourbon that meets the minimum requirements to be called straight bourbon. From there, it’s bottled and sent out without any fuss on the part of the distillery, making it easy-drinking and very affordable.

Tasting Notes:

This is simple bourbon so expect hints of vanilla, caramel, and oak up front. The sip flows towards a Graham cracker bite with a hint of fresh mint before the alcohol edges bring about a quick, warm finish.

Evan Williams Green Label Bourbon

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Heaven Hill Distillery, Bardstown, KY
Average Price: $10

The Whiskey:

Some would argue that Green Label is a step down from the more common Black Label or Bottled-in-Bond versions of Evan Williams. Well, if it is, it’s barely a half-step down. This bottle holds all the value of a dram of Evan Williams at a lower price. You can’t beat that.

Tasting Notes:

There’s mild simplicity at play here — with a nose of alcohol supported by vanilla, caramel, and oak. The sip then edges toward an almost dry coconut flake flavor with a mild fruit essence lingering in the background. The heat, vanilla, and oak kick back in on the finish.

Ancient Age Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort, KY (Sazerac Company)
Average Price: $11

The Whiskey:

The name of the whiskey is kind of ironic, given it’s only aged for three years. Otherwise, like most of the bottles on this list, the making of this bourbon follows an “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” model, with a classic mash bill and old school methods throughout.

Tasting Notes:

There’s a deeper sense of the corn on the nose with a clear hint of vanilla and caramel. The sweetness moves into toffee territory as small flourishes of spice kick in. Finally, the sip settles into an oakiness with a nice dose of vanilla and a whisper of citrus.

Black Velvet Reserve Aged 8 Years

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Black Velvet Distillery, Lethbridge, AL (Heaven Hill)
Average Price: $13

The Whiskey:

This is a surprisingly quaffable rye from Canada. The ripple is that the rye and corn mashes are distilled and then blended and distilled again. Then the juice rests for eight years in new oak before bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Clear rye spice mingles with a bottle of fizzy and sweet cream soda. Dark fruits, black pepper, and toffee pop alongside a clear sense of alcohol. The oak comes in late with more vanilla-heavy cream soda that’s cut down by a hint of citrus at the very end.

Henry McKenna Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey

ABV: 40%
Distillery: H. McKenna Distillery, Bardstown, KY (Heaven Hill)
Average Price: $15

The Whiskey:

This brand from Heaven Hill is named after the Irish immigrant who was the first person (on record) to age whiskey in new charred American oak, creating bourbon. This accessible expression is meant to be a “table whiskey” much in the same vein as a table wine — i.e. very drinkable in everyday situations.

Tasting Notes:

Very mild spice, toffee, and vanilla mix initially. There’s a bump of fruitiness that takes a backseat to the classic bourbon notes. The toffee sweetness is cut by a mild oak and spice that leads to a brisk end.

Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Jim Beam Distillery, Clermont, KY (Beam Suntory)
Average Price: $15

The Whiskey:

It’s Jim Beam. It’s classic, easy, and affordable. There’s really not much more to say besides that this is a quality bourbon that has applications from shots to cocktails and everything in between.

Tasting Notes:

A hint of corn is dominated by clear bourbon vanilla and sweet caramel. There’s a clear sense of an apple orchard amongst the vanilla as the caramel edges towards maple syrup. The end is short, sweet, and full of vanilla.

Grant’s Family Reserve

ABV: 40%
Blender/Bottler: William Grant & Sons, Dufftown, UK
Average Price: $16

The Whiskey:

This blended scotch is a nice departure from this bourbon-heavy list. This is a mixing whisky by nature, though you can throw it over some rocks in a pinch. The blend is a mix of a few dozen different whiskies aged in three different types of barrels: New European oak, new American oak, and ex-bourbon barrels.

Tasting Notes:
Wet grains, wisps of smoke, and sense of oak come through up top. The sip has a clear dark spice edge with a note of caramel and straw. A minor bitterness comes into play with a small note of fresh herbs on the short end.

Ezra Brooks Straight Rye Whiskey

ABV: 45%
Distillery: MGP Indiana (Bottled at Lux Row Distillers, Bardstown, KY)
Average Price: $19

The Whiskey:

This new(ish) rye from Ezra Brooks is one of the more affordable ryes on the market. The mash bill leans heavily into the spicy grain with 95 percent being comprised of rye (the rest is malted barley).

Tasting Notes:

The rye is there but this one feels more like a spicy bourbon with a clear sense of vanilla and caramel next to oak. That vanilla and oak carry a mild peppery spice towards a medium-long end with a very distant echo of smoke.

George Dickel Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey #8

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Cascade Hollow Distillery, Tullahoma, TN (Diageo)
Average Price: $19.99

The Whiskey:

This Tennessee sour mash has a mash bill of 84 percent corn, supported by equal parts rye and barley (8% of each). The juice is mellowed over sugar maple charcoal and then aged in both medium and heavy charred barrels before being blended into the final bottle.

Tasting Notes:

Vanilla and pepper mingle with oak upfront. The sip has a refreshing balance of Christmas spices and pound cake mixed with a slight sense of corn, fruit, and wood. The finish offers a dialed-in sense of each element that slowly fades from your senses.

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Charlize Theron Is Having A Blast While Posting ‘Max Max: Fury Road’ Behind-The-Scenes Photos

George Miller is working on a Mad Max Furiosa prequel that won’t star Charlize Theron. This reality, fortunately, didn’t stop the Academy Award-winning actress from recently participating in an oral history from The New York Times about the making of Mad Max: Fury Road. On-set tension surfaced as a topic of discussion, along with the cast’s experiences with the generally harsh conditions of desert shooting, but none of this has quelled Theron’s lingering enthusiasm for the film.

During quarantine, Charlize went into #TBT mode and had a ball on Twitter while posting behind-the-scenes photos that are new to fans. Her commentary is also fantastic. “I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing my war rig for the first time,” she raved. “[A]nd realizing holy sh*t, George is not f*cking around.”

Several other images followed, including talk of the “grueling, intense shoot” that she considers well worth the experience. What a badass character and a badass look.

Some softer moments received representation, too, including a cuddle with Charlize’s child, Jackson, who will one day be able to claim, “I spent most of the first year of my life in a war rig.”

Charlie also paid tribute to most of “my girls” and the legendary George Miller himself.

Max Mad: Fury Road is currently streamable on Amazon Prime.

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All The Best New Rap Music To Have On Your Radar

Hip-hop is moving as fast as ever. Luckily, we’re doing the work to have the best new rap music in one place for you. This week, there were new visuals from Migos, Lil Tjay, Fivio Foreign and Pop Smoke, Earthgang, Mozzy, G-Herbo and Polo G, as well as RMR, Future and Lil Baby. There were also new songs from Future, IDK, Rico Nasty, Yungmanny, and more. Here’s the rest of the best new rap music this week:

Apollo Brown & Che`Noir — “Hustle Don’t Give” Ft. Black Thought

Black Thought and Che Noir deliver reflective, resilient verses over soulful Apollo Brown chops on “Hustle Don’t Give.” Noir affirms, “Every inch to the stage, I put my pen to this page.” while Black Thought bemoans the plight of kids who “don’t stand for sh*t, not even the court bailiff.”

Drakeo The Ruler — “Bleed It” Freestyle

LA’s Drakeo The Ruler is making sure the movement doesn’t stop, even if he’s incarcerated. This week he released a freestyle of Blueface’s “Bleed It,” seemingly delivering his verse over the phone and feeding fans who support and advocate for him.

AZ — “Found My Niche”

Rap legend AZ is set to revisit a classic this summer when he drops his Doe Or Die 2 project. He gave his cult fanbase a reminder that his lyricism is still impeccable on “Found My Niche,” where he delves into a poignant tale of the relentless cycle of the drug trade in inner cities.

Teejayx6 — “How Teejayx6 & Kasher Quon Got Arrested”

On Detroit’s Teejayx6 latest track, he uses an awkward delivery to tell a story about him and his right hand man Kasher Quon crossing paths with the law.

Smokepurpp — “Off My Chest” Feat. Lil Pump

One of rap’s youngest dynamic duos linked up again on “Off My Chest,” a track that utilizes chimes as the basis for a banger that harkens to the glory days of their “SoundCloud Rap” come up.

Lil Skies — “Riot”

Lil Skies gets flossy on “Riot,” a CashmoneyAP-drafted trap burner which was paired with a video featuring the young Pennslyvania rapper and his friends turning up like everyone wishes they could these days.

Lloyd Banks — “Painted Houses” Feat. Vado

In the same month that 50 Cent called out Lloyd Banks’ work ethic in his latest book, the PLK has released his third song in as many weeks. “Painted Houses” shows “Banks Sinatra” and Vado talking filthy over a sinister beat that Griselda previously killed during their “Fire In The Booth” freestyle.

Kelow Latesha — “Hibiscus” Freestyle

Kelow Latesha is the latest artist from a buzzing PG County, Maryland rap scene. Last month she released the deluxe edition of her TSA album, and she’s already feeding her fans more. On her “Hibiscus” freestyle, she tears through an 808-based beat with clever lines like, “I’m carrying these n****s, I hurt my meniscus.”

Deante Hitchcock — Better

The Atlanta rap scene is so muddled that some of its gems go overlooked. Count Deante Hitchcock in that category, but that should change after more people experience his debut Better album. The 10-track debut features a who’s who of young Atlanta such as JID, 6LACK, Young Nudy. But even with the star-studded tracklist, Hitchcock makes his presence felt on the project, especially on the reflective “Remember.”

Kenny Mason — “Firestarter”

Kenny Mason talks his talk on his “Firestarter” freestyle, declaring “science, art, and pain, every field I play in I demolish,” over a neck-snapping, piano-based instrumental. The single is from his oxymoronic Angelic Hoodrat album.

Drixxie — I Found Heaven In My Hell

Philly artist Drixxie released his I Found Heaven In My Hell EP. The 11-track project showcases the genre-bending artist’s easygoing delivery, melodic flows and pensive lyrics over a smooth soundscape that ranges from the earnest infatuation of “Is It?” to “Sunny,” where he pleads “may all of my days be sunny.”

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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The Rundown: ‘What We Do In The Shadows’ Is On A Crazy Hot Streak

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE — Listen to me

What We Do in the Shadows is an FX show based on a movie of the same name, the latter of which was created by and starred Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement. The show is an Office-style fake-documentary about a group of vampires who live in and attempt to navigate modern-day Staten Island. There are four main vampires on the show: Nandor (a legendary warrior and conqueror), Nadja and Laszlo (a very amorous married couple), and Colin Robinson (an energy vampire who feeds by draining humans with awkward, boring conversations, and is my favorite character on the show). This is all the introduction you will get from me because I’m already itching to move on.

It is so good. It is so good and so, so funny. Legitimate belly laughs at least once an episode, and more than that, by a lot, in the last handful. In one episode, Colin Robinson kept trying and failing to get everyone to fall for an updog joke so he summoned the ghost of his grandma just to get her with it. In another episode, he got a promotion at work and acquired so much power from droning on and on in meetings that his bald head started growing a luxurious head of hair spontaneously. Nandor has a familiar — think like a human intern who does grunt work in the hope of becoming a vampire — named Guillermo who recently discovered, to his great chagrin, that he’s descended from the legendary vampire hunter, Van Helsing. It’s so good. I’m not doing it justice. Please just try it. The first season is terrific. The second season had been transcendent. It is now the show I look forward to most every week. I don’t even like vampire stuff. That’s how good it is.

Why am I telling you this? Well, two reasons, mostly. The first reason is that it is kind of my job to tell you what shows are good and I am nothing if not a dedicated and consummate professional. The second reason is that I need to tell you about something that happened in this week’s episode and doing this will give me an excuse.

A vampire played by Mark Hamill showed up and challenged Laszlo to a duel as the result of an unpaid bill. Laszlo, instead of taking part in the duel, fled and ran off and left his life and wife on Staten Island behind. He created a whole new identity: a toothpick-chomping, jeans-wearing regular American. Which is already good. I’m a sucker for any show or movie where a character goes off the grid, especially if another character asks where they are and a third character replies “He’s in the wind.” But that’s not the best part. The best part is this. Get ready.

FX
FX
FX
FX

Jackie Daytona.

JACKIE DAYTONA.

It’s so beautiful I could cry. It’s the best name I’ve seen on television since Raylan Givens encountered a female hustler and card shark on Justified who went by “Jackie Nevada.” Maybe that’s the key here. Maybe the trick to a good character name is just “Jackie” and then a geographic location. Jackie Galapagos, Jackie Norway, Jackie Montreal, etc. Something to consider, if you’re making a television show. Although it won’t be easy to top “Jackie Daytona, regular human bartender and noted supporter of the local high school girl’s volleyball team.” I don’t even know where you would start.

The lesson here is that fake names are fun and What We Do in the Shadows is becoming a must-watch comedy. Please make a note.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — Finally, a movie for me

Allow me to present the trailer for the upcoming straight-to-VOD movie Fast and Fierce: Death Race, the sequel to the 2017 movie Fast and Fierce. Here is the official description:

Jack Tyson is on his way to grabbing the cash prize for an illegal car race from Mexico to California when a desperate woman, fleeing from her gangster boyfriend who runs the tournament, jumps into his car pleading for help.

A few other notes about Fast and Fierce: Death Race:

  • It is from The Asylum, the same studio that produced the Sharknado movies and a million other Syfy originals
  • It appears to be knocking off two franchises at once, Fast & Furious and Death Race, both of which have featured Jason Statham and Tyrese in prominent roles
  • It stars DMX as the villain

Very rarely has a movie — or anything at all, for that matter — been more squarely in my wheelhouse. Again, this is a cheap knockoff of two Statham franchises that stars DMX and is made by the same people who once gave Tara Reid a buzzsaw arm to battle airborne sharks. I am definitely going to watch this movie. I’m going to pay $10 for it. I will probably write north of 2000 words about it if it is even 60-70 percent of what I’m thinking it is. There’s so much going on here, almost all of laser-targeted to my very specific and peculiar set of interests. I’m really very happy.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — Let’s check in on quarantined celebr-…

Getty Image

… aaaaaaaand Guy Fieri and Bill Murray are having a nacho cookoff. I swear. They’re doing it tonight at 5 pm ET on the Food Network Facebook page and it’s all to raise money for charity. Here, look, details and a link to prove I’m not making it all up.

“The Nacho Average Showdown” is live event to raise money for Fieri’s Restaurant Employee Relief Fund (RERF), which gives financial assistance to employees impacted by the coronavirus shutdown. The Fund provides restaurant workers with $500 grants with 100 percent of donations going directly to RERF. About 8 million restaurant workers are currently unemployed.

This is great. Really. There’s no sarcasm at all happening here. It’s great. Guy Fieri has already raised so much money for this worthy cause and Bill Murray is incapable of doing anything that surprises me at this point, so it all checks out, too. The celebrity judges are going to be Shaq and Terry Crews, because why wouldn’t they be. Again, this is all very real. Being quarantined as a nation has been very bad and stressful in most ways, but it has resulted in a very dramatic increase in super-weird stuff happening all the time and, as a person who thrives in chaos, I have no choice but to respect that aspect of it and that aspect alone.

That said, I do have questions. One question, actually, with a number of subquestions. And that question is… how? How did this happen? How did it come to be? Do Bill Murray and Guy Fieri know each other? Are they… friends? Did Guy Fieri text this idea to Bill Murray? It seems like an impossible thing to set up through management teams. It seems like the type of thing that happens when two buddies get to chatting after having drinks. This might sound strange to you, this idea that Guy Fieri and Bill Murray could be friends, but consider this mind-crumbling video…

… and the fact that Matthew McConaughey gave the dedication speech when Guy got his star on the Walk of Fame. Man is connected, all I’m saying.

In conclusion, I apologize, again, for using a picture of Guy Fieri missing a tackle in a celebrity flag football game, again. He’s doing such nice things lately. He’s a good guy through and through. It’s just… it’s just so funny. I’m the jerk here. I know that. But I bet I do it again.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Cate Blanchett rules

Just to be clear about what we’re all seeing and hearing here, this is two-time Oscar-winning actress Cate Blanchett making a reference to the delightful offbeat and chaotic Netflix sketch show I Think You Should Leave. Like, a very casual reference, the kind of reference someone makes only if they’re extremely familiar with the subject matter and make this kind of reference a lot. This is fascinating to me for reasons I’m not sure I understand. Why does it feel so weird that Cate Blanchett would be an I Think You Should Leave superfan? It’s a fun show. She’s allowed to enjoy fun things. This is on me, really. I have much to ponder.

What do you think her favorite sketch from the show is? I don’t think it’s TC Tuggers. That’s a good pull but not even top 15 on the show. You think she’s a “Focus Group” gal? Maybe a “Hot Dog Suit” lady? I have put a lot of thought into this since I discovered it — like, think of an amount you would consider “a lot of thought” about this, then double it — and I’m pretty sure it’s “Baby of the Year.” We can test this theory. If any of you see Cate Blanchett on the street in the next few weeks, maybe out for a walk or doing some other social-distance-approved activity, try shouting “BART HARLEY JARVIS” at her.

NETFLIX

If she starts booing, we’ll know I’m right. If she doesn’t, or if she just looks at you weird, apologize and scurry away. Do not continue bothering Cate Blanchett.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — If you ever wondered if Sting has a good story about peyote and livestock…

… he does. It’s at the beginning of the new Netflix documentary about psychedelics, Have a Good Trip, which is generally pretty fun and informative and full of celebrities talking about tripping their nuts off. But back to Sting. The short version goes like this: The first time Sting took peyote, he was walking around his farm and was accosted by a guy who worked there. It led to this.

NETFLIX
NETFLIX

The continued short version: Sting assisted in the emergency delivery of a baby cow whose mother was in danger of dying without immediate intervention and he did it all while incredibly high on peyote. The most surprising thing about this story is that it’s somewhat not surprising at all. Like, you read all of this stuff about Sting and peyote and livestock and you were probably thinking “Sure, that makes enough sense,” right? I did. It was somehow both stunning and completely expected. Sting is a strange dude. I guess that’s the takeaway here. Although that’s not exactly breaking news, either. Guy woke up one morning and decided the world should refer to him as Sting instead of his given name, Gordon. That’s a heck of a leap.

Lot of layers to this onion.

ITEM NUMBER SIX — More like Robert Pastason, in my opinion

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There’s no way around it. I can’t in good faith write up a whole big thing about weird and notable entertainment moments from the week and not mention Robert Pattinson’s pasta debacle. You’re aware of the pasta debacle, yes? I imagine you are. If you’re internet literate enough to find and read this column you’re also probably up to date on this, too. But let’s be safe. Let’s link to the tremendously entertaining GQ profile than ran this week and tell you to go read it all to see a window into quarantine mania. Let’s direct you to the last 25 percent of this profile. And then let’s begin blockquoting small sections of it in a way that tells you everything and nothing you need to know.

Here goes.

Last year, he says, he had a business idea. What if, he said to himself, “pasta really had the same kind of fast-food credentials as burgers and pizzas? I was trying to figure out how to capitalize in this area of the market, and I was trying to think: How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?”

Excellent. A perfect start.

Let’s skip ahead.

Then he realizes that he’s forgotten the outer layer, which is supposed to be breadcrumbs but today will be crushed-up cornflakes, and so he lifts the pile of cheese and sugar and crumbles some cornflakes onto the aluminum foil before placing the sugar-cheese back on top of it. Then he adds sauce, which is red. The microwave dings, and Pattinson promptly burns himself on the bowl of pasta. He sighs, heavily, looking at it. “No idea if it’s cooked or not.” He dumps the pasta in anyway. At this point, his spirits have visibly begun to flag. “I mean, there’s absolutely no chance this is gonna work. Absolutely none.”

Yes, but how bad could it be, really? He’s just making pasta in the microwave.

Let’s skip ahead again.

Proudly he is walking back toward the counter that his phone is on when, behind him, a lightning bolt erupts from the oven/microwave, and Pattinson ducks like someone outside has opened fire. He’s giggling and crouching as the oven throws off stray flickers of light and sound.

“The fucking electricity…oh, my God,” he says, still on the floor. And then, with a loud, final bang, the oven/microwave goes dark.

Just tremendous. Perfect. I hope he tries to make a quiche next. He might vaporize a city block.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

Paul:

A few years ago I was driving to the beach with my family and we saw a sign for a restaurant that was trying to market itself as a family friendly stop. This is a smart business decision because I’m sure lots of families are looking for places that serve grilled cheese or chicken tenders or something else that restless children will eat in peace after four hours in a car. The problem was the way they communicated it. The sign said “Cheeseburgers. Milkshakes. We serve children, too!” For one second as I was speeding down the highway I thought they were implying they cooked and plated actual children. I don’t know why but I feel like you’ll appreciate this.

Paul, I do appreciate it. I appreciate it very much. You have brought this to the right man. One time I saw a sign outside a gas station that said “WE HAVE DIESEL” and before I realized what happened I had shouted, “RELEASE HIM.” Another time I drove by a sign for a local shoe store called “Bernard Shoes” and I careened off the road, across traffic, into a parking lot, just so I could snap a picture and make a joke about it being a good fake name. My favorite one is this huge rock-smashing plant I drive by on the way to my local Popeyes. It’s called “Bradley Pulverizer,” which sounds like the name of a three-time WWE Intercontinental Champion who carries a sledgehammer into the ring.

I love signs. Send me all your signs. Thank you, Paul.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To Scotland!

A bull attempting to alleviate an “itchy bum” using a utility pole ended up knocking out the electricity for more than 700 homes in a Scottish town.

Yup. This will do just fine. A bull with an itchy butt took out the power for a whole town like he’s Robert Pattinson making dinner. We can work with this.

“Our bull Ron would like to apologize to everyone in Chapelton and Strathaven for causing last nights power cut to over 700 homes,” Laughton wrote. “He had [an] itchy bum so [he] scratched it on the electricity pole and knocked the transformer box off.”

Hold on.

Wait.

Hold on.

The bull is named “Ron”?

Like, Ron?

Just Ron?

They got a bull and looked at it and said “Hmm, that’s a Ron.”

Ron!

It says a lot about me that a bull named Ron took out the power for a whole town by itching his butt on a power pole and the part I’m hung up on is the bull being named Ron.

Ron the Bull.

I’m sorry.

I’ll stop.

But come on.

Ron.

Okay.

She said Ron is “happy to be alive” after managing to avoid an 11,000 volt shock from the fallen transformer box.

I’m happy Ron is alive, too. I would have felt really bad about those jokes about his name if he’d been fried butt-first by that pole.

Ron.

They named the bull Ron.

I might never get over this.

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Tory Lanez Brings The Heat On His New Single, ‘Temperature Rising’

Tory Lanez just released his album New Toronto 3 a month ago. But that’s not stopping the Toronto native from sharing even more music. The singer returns with some heat on the slow-burning number “Temperature Rising.”

Sharing the new track to social media, Lanez aptly wrote that his new single will make him responsible for “80 percent” of the babies made during quarantine. A low, pounding beat sizzles under Lanez’s crooning lyrical delivery. “Temperature’s risin’ / And I’m fantasizin’ bout’ givin’ it to you,” he sings while showcasing his vocal’s impressive range.

Lanez’s short turn around time is no accident. Lanez shared with fans that New Toronto 3 was his way of getting out of his record deal, referencing his former contract with Interscope. He also appears to not be interested in signing a new deal, previously saying that he doesn’t see a need for it. “There’s so many labels offering me so much money, like millions of dollars,” Lanez said in an interview with Genius. “I’ve gotten offers that are life-changing offers, but I don’t care. I already own my masters and publishing and everything. So I don’t see any reason to give that to somebody else.”

Ahead of the single’s release, Lanez linked up with YouTube to put on The Social Distance Tour, an interactive livestream concert for fans. And now that Lanez is free from contracts, fans can expect even more new music from the prolific artist.

Listen to “Temperature Rising” above.

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Even If You’re Avoiding Grubhub By Calling Your Favorite Restaurant Directly, Grubhub Could Still Be Charging It A Fee


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NBA Self-Isolation Watch Week 9: Nature Is Healing, Ball Is Life

Yes indeed we all do know the joke by now — nature has returned, the earth is healing. But what about NBA players returning to nature? “Nature is healing, ball is life” doesn’t have the same immediate uptake for jokes but it was, more or less, what was going on this week in Self-ISO. Guys went into the woods, came out of them, fished, howled atop waterfalls, called animal control, lounged around with exotic wildlife and became the unexpected caretakers of infant animals while trying to maintain a decent lawn. Let’s tiptoe through these tulips!

Paul George

If you want to find someone angling to have a good time this pandemic, look no further than Paul George. And please, do not shut the tab in your browser this website is on or gently set your phone down and go do something better with your time because of that terrible fishing joke. George, an avid fisherman, opted to spend time catching smallmouth bass after smallmouth bass. He thoughtfully posed with each one (or else one hungry fish) before gently setting them back in the water.

Rating: An afternoon well spent.

Lou Williams

We join Williams perched atop the waterfall in his backyard. His “scary ass” was up there because he was rightfully avoiding a gigantic snake in the grass. As he narrated, “Only thing about living in the deep south, big ass snakes, man,” his poor friend was given the job of trying to catch the snake with a pool skimmer.

The snake, over it, opted to leave the yard and Williams’ fears multiplied when his friend informed him the first snake had gone to join another snake on the other side of the fence. “One turned into two!” Williams exclaimed.

Animal control arrived and caught the two snakes, identified as water moccasins (“That’s why they’re always in the damn pool,” Williams agreed), and placed them carefully in a big bucket. Williams heaved a huge sigh of relief.

Rating: Lou Williams perched on an artificial waterfall warning you about snakes in the grass wouldn’t be such a bad conscience.

Tobias Harris

Remember a couple Self-ISOs ago when Harris got psyched out by a group of turkeys that stormed his yard? Well this week, just as Harris was about to cut his lawn, his keen, defensively valuable eyes spotted something resting in the tall grass.

“There’s a baby deer in my grass that needs to be cut!” Harris proclaimed in a careful whisper, not wanting to startle the fawn. He inquired after its mother in a worried tone, then marveled at the nature he was getting to see up close, “First turkeys, now baby deer!”

Rating: Nature first, lawn care second.

D’Angelo Russell

Russell had a baby chimpanzee in, I think, his home, because he introduced it to his French bulldog.

Rating: It is wonderful to learn about wildlife but I have to side with Russell’s bug-eyed dog here when I say my aversion would be similar.

Robert Covington

Covington and his giant pet snake took it easy this week. Covington lounged on the couch while the snake draped several sections of its body over his arms and legs, lifting its head once as if to say, ‘sup?

Rating: Or I guess it would be more like ‘sssssssup?

Kyle O’Quinn (and Kyle Lowry)

The two greatest Kyles in the league took to the trails this week on their bikes, bumping and jolting themselves all over the great outdoors. I hope these two have excellent shocks, they deserve them.

Bonus, O’Quinn also gave his beaming face a steam bath this week. A joy he and we deserve.

Rating: Please, get the most valuable basketball mind of its generation (Lowry) a helmet!

Montrezl Harrell

Trez seems to have bought a new house this week and went to take a tour of it. He showcased the relaxing pond in the front yard, likely listed with “great vibes” as pictured, as well as the gigantic pond in the back where he invited Paul George to come and cast a few in soon.

George responded quickly, complementing Harrell on how nice his new pond looked but needing some proof of bites before he made the trip.

Rating: A great guide in fishpond decorum here, from both ends.

Enes Kanter

Kanter continues to be “at it” online, this one seems really rude to Mother Nature and that lady doesn’t need any more sleights.

Rating: Twisted firestarter, for sure. Also, why?

Rudy Gobert

Here we have Gobert deep into his recovery, doing yoga on a boogie board in his pool. Not sure how to view this one in terms of effectiveness but seems like a fun one to toss in the mix.

Rating: Rudy seems fine!

Rudy Gay

Rudy Gay went shoe shopping and took a minute to post a selfie with a quote even more reflective than the photons of his body bouncing back to him.

Rating: Remember when the big thing about extended isolation was who was going to use the time to write the next King Lear? We got it.

Jimmy Butler

There are few things as steady, reliable and comforting in this world as the sun rising each and every day and Jimmy Butler doing some extreme amount of physical conditioning in order to prepare himself to eat a completely regular-ass meal.

Rating: He did this for four hours, he ate two tacos.

Jordan Clarkson

You know how eating itself has become repetitive? You’re doing it two, three times a day formally, and probably a whole lot more in between, mindlessly? Well, here’s Jordan Clarkson showing that it’s still nice to extend a little effort toward yourself when it comes to chowing down. You don’t have to make a whole charcuterie board, you could just pour some chips into a bowl rather than clawing for another greasy handful.

Rating: Wash it down with whatever you like, in a glass!

Jaylen Brown

This comes from Brown’s appearance on the GQ Sports YouTube channel. Brown, deadpan, admitted to taking a travel record player with him wherever he goes, then, more deadpan, walked viewers through some of his favorite records, showing off the album sleeves as he went.

Rating: The High Fidelity remake we’ve been waiting for.

Tim Hardaway Jr.

Tim hit the dunes! The greens! The bogey! The birdie! Went par for the course! I’m doing this to enrage my colleague, Robby, who could probably tell you what those clubs are on sight whereas I’m here to tell you how flawless Hardaway looks in a lightweight golf shirt!

Rating: A whole lotta fun in one!

Buddy Hield

Buddy Hield is an extremely fast and agile man, which is the only reason I wasn’t worried when I saw him get on a longboard this week and go ripping down the road with his dogs, gleeful, to either side.

Rating: It’s still a wrongboard, even when Buddy Hield does it.

Jonas Jerebko

Jerebko has been back in his native Sweden for a little while now, and as best as I can tell his family lives on the shores of the most magical and picturesque lake in the country, carefree, godmorgoning everyone as they go, or else this is an accurate depiction of all of Sweden.

Rating: Godmorgon.

Bam Adebayo

Ha ha, Adebayo really laid it down for this fuzzy freeloader that matches, exquisitely, Bam’s whole bottom half.

Rating: Got his ass.

P.J. Tucker

Recently back from celebrating his 35th birthday like the king of all he lays his eyes upon that he is, Tucker immediately got to work treating his partner like the queen she is for Mother’s Day. He prepared a delicious brunch of cheesy grits and shrimp, chopping, at times, with his eyes closed. Please do not risk your life by attempting this technique at home!

Rating: Counting down the days until Tucker is back on the court, using this eyes closed technique on cowering offensive players.

Andre Drummond

I’ll be honest, I’ve sort of glazed over this development but best I can tell is that Drummond has started something like a live radio show in his home but now he is dressing up for them. The important thing is he’s having fun.

Rating: That has nothing to do with the pandemic, more to do with Cleveland.

Wayne Ellington

Ellington has been focused on staying competitive during this self-iso, working out and practicing with tiny, persistent, impenetrable defensive opponents who are determined to play well past their bedtime.

Rating: Dribbles, drooling, this guy’s got all the drills.

Jaren Jackson Jr.

Oh boy this is the perfect mixture of bittersweet and funny, picturing Jackson taking a solemn shot of the FedEx Forum as he drives by and sends a digital postcard with a heartfelt note of, “Miss U Bro” dedicated to the building itself.

Rating: Thinking about writing the library a 10-page letter, honestly.

Rasheed Wallace

We haven’t seen Paul Pierce in weeks and I would be way more worried if Rasheed Wallace had not emerged from the misty woods this week to deliver a PSA on social distancing and staying active. Ball doesn’t lie and neither does Sheed when it comes to letting you know what’s good for yourself!

Rating: Rasheed Wallace’s Wisdom? Sheed’s Shack? Test driving some replacements for PAUL PIERCE’S PLACE if he doesn’t show up soon.

Bryn Forbes

Thrilled to announce we’ve got a runner up against Tim Hardaway Jr. for who makes quarantining look the most relaxed, well-hydrated.

Rating: Also a runner up for who wears a hat very well.

Richard Jefferson

Speaking of well-hydrated, here’s Richard Jefferson with a joke to take us home this week. Thank you, Richard!

Rating: Runner up captions for Jefferson included, “I fought the Claw and the Claw ONE, as in one too many!”

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Slowthai Rips Somebody’s Teeth Out In His Gruesome Video For ‘BB (Bodybag)’

It’s been a nonstop week for Slowthai. Before today, he has already released a pair of singles: “Enemy” was his first solo song of the year, and “Magic” was produced by Kenny Beats. To round out the week, the UK rapper has dropped off a third new track, “BB (Bodybag).”

In the video for the aggressive track, that energy is matched, as Slowthai rips somebody’s teeth out, wears a mask made of cigarettes, and seemingly gets shot in the head.

This comes shortly after the rapper found himself at the center of some controversy due to antics at the NME Awards, which involved him mooning the audience and starting a fight. He ultimately apologized for his behavior, tweeting, “@nme please forward my award to [host Katherine Ryan] for she is the hero of the year. what started as a joke between us escalated to a point of shameful actions on my part. i want to unreservedly apologise, there is no excuse and I am sorry. i am not a hero. katherine, you are a master at your craft and next time i’ll take my seat and leave the comedy to you. to any woman or man who saw a reflection of situations they’ve been in in those videos, i am sorry. i promise to do better. let’s talk here.”

Watch the “BB (Bodybag)” video above.

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Jonas Brothers Link Up With Karol G For Their Flirtatious Track ‘X’

After staging a successful comeback in 2019, the Jonas Brothers are already looking forward. Their return record Happiness Begins placed them back at the centerfold of pop after a lengthy hiatus and even garnered the brothers a Grammy nomination and performance at the awards ceremony. Following their triumphs, the Jonas Brothers are now beginning to prepare for a new era of music. The brothers join forces with Latin pop star Karol G for the fiery single “X.”

A buoyant riff opens the single before a rhythmic beat arrives. The track is upbeat and flirty, with the brothers hinting at a fiery fling in the lyrics. “She said, ‘Oh oh oh / Kiss me like your ex is in the room,’” they sing. Karol G offers a change of pace as the tempo breaks to signal her verse’s arrival. Karol echoes the boys’ provocative lyrics, detailing a night of dancing in her native language. “Caliente, te pongo caliente / No te de miedo vivir algo diferente,” Karol swoons.

The single arrives in tandem with the B-side “Five More Minutes,” which the brothers first teased in a clip during their Grammy performance. To celebrate the release of the two tracks, Karol G will join the Jonas Brothers for a premiere live performance of the song on LeBron James’ special Graduate Together: America Honors The Class Of 2020.

Listen to “X” and “Five More Minutes” above.

Graduate Together: America Honors The Class Of 2020 airs 5/16 at 11 p.m. ET. Watch it here.

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Tom Colicchio On Saving Restaurants In The COVID Era And How We Can Fix Our Broken Food System

The wonderful thing about watching Top Chef during this pandemic is that it offers perfect escapism. It’s about people living together in a house, about sharing and preparing communal meals, about going to restaurants, and about competing to work in one of our last honest businesses: the restaurant industry. Not to mention, it offers the kind of intense familiarity that only a show that’s been on for almost 15 years can bring. Remember how things used to be? Isn’t it great how things never change?

Talking to Top Chef host Tom Colicchio is… well, not like that at all.

It’s more like getting repeatedly slapped in the face by reality. I’ve always appreciated Colicchio’s refusal to play along with the usual unscripted TV drama (you could make an hour-long supercut of his eye rolls alone) but now that I want to have a nice light interview about yummy food and my pretend friends from the TV, all he wants to do is assault me with facts and enlist me in the fight to get someone, anyone, to care.

I should’ve known better. Colicchio is a restauranteur, and restaurants, notoriously a precarious business even in boom times, are… let’s say “facing an unknown future.” He has a massive staff he has to think about, and, if that weren’t enough, there are his non-profit ventures dealing with hunger and nutrition. All those events they put on in order to raise money? Gone. And all the people that money goes to help? Multiplying exponentially by the day.

It’s hard not to feel demoralized. But Colicchio is fired up. He has facts, organizations, action plans. He speaks in complete paragraphs. How could I ask about TV and sauce recipes when he was on such a roll? Luckily, I didn’t want to. What he had to say as a restaurant owner, a businessman, and someone who has seen the food supply chain and its infrastructure first hand was more interesting than what he had to say as a TV star or a chef anyway.

Colicchio’s main point: this wasn’t about some specific charity he was promoting (as these interviews are often pitched) or his specific role as an individual. It was about how the quarantine is exposing problems people like him have been working to change for years — an overly centralized, overly integrated food processing system, razor-thin profit margins for restaurant owners, low wages for essential workers, a healthcare system tied to employment, and government leaning on non-profits to do work government should be doing. As you’ll see, the man knows his stuff and we dive right into it.

So what are leaders in the food community doing to help stop kids from going hungry?

I wouldn’t characterize it as what I’m doing because there’s not a whole lot you can do as an individual right now. Right now New York City, the schools, the school cafeteria workers are feeding kids. [Here’s a bit on FoodCorp’s efforts] Essentially, they’re feeding anyone who shows up for a meal. That’s still happening. They’re not going to the schools to actually eat the meals, but they’re there to pick up food and they can take it home with them. That’s kind of the extent of it. I think more than anything quite frankly, COVID’s exposing just how fragile the system that we have for feeding people is.

Right.

So the bigger question I think is, why do 30 million kids or — I think it’s 22 million kids — the only meal they’re getting in some cases are breakfast and lunch in school? And when we have a crisis of this size it really exposes just how poor the system that we have set up. And typically our government is very happy to let charity step in and fill a void. What you’re seeing now is that charities are completely overrun and soup kitchens that can’t keep up. The need is too great. Volunteers just aren’t stepping up because everybody should be staying inside.

So what have you been working on during this crisis?

The programs that we were working on, we’re struggling to figure out we can continue them. And we’re a small organization so I imagine every organization is going through this unless you were sitting on a pile of cash. Another non-profit that I work with, Children of Bellevue, they act as advocates for short-term/long term care in Bellevue Hospital. They create programs for the hospital as well. Our big fundraiser was going to be in April. That event last year we raised $700,000. This year we’re not having it. This crisis exposes the idea of government pushing everything to the private sector just doesn’t work.

What are some of the things that you’ve been advocating for?

Universal free lunch at school where it’s not the three-tier model we have now where it’s free, reduced, or full-fare. Where it’s actually free. That the nutrition is much better in school lunches. We, with the Healthy Hunger Free Kids Act that was signed over the Obama Administration, we actually made school lunch a lot healthier, and this administration is looking to push back on some of those gains. Fighting for that. Making sure that SNAP is much more robust and that doesn’t have so many restrictions. There’s a role for the organizations that are feeding people on the ground, but again, it shouldn’t be funded through charities, it should be funded through government. A lot of the things that we’re talking about are because of poverty and I think right now COVID is kind of exposing the weakness of our entire safety net.

It seems like with the administration now, anytime you promote a program that addresses poverty or unemployment there’s this idea that you’re going to somehow incentivize poverty. Do you have a response to that?

No. Nobody wants to be poor because they need an incentive. This idea that we should pull ourselves up by the bootstraps… People are born with poverty. People struggle because of mental health and addiction. People struggle for various reasons. I used to give talks about this and we always say that a lot of the people in the audience, even though you think you’re solidly middle class, you’re one natural disaster away from being on unemployment. And now we’re here. I mean, 22 million people applied for unemployment so maybe now will be the time for some empathy.

With the exception of a few pilot programs, if you have SNAP you can’t order and have them deliver it like everybody else. Even now when you’re telling people to stay in, they’re still not allowing people to use SNAP and EBT for delivery. You’re not allowed to buy a hot meal. So rotisserie chicken that costs four dollars at Trader Joe’s, you can’t use SNAP for that because it’s a hot meal so there’s value-added so you can’t have that. It’s just ridiculous.

Are you seeing anybody in the government taking up this cause right now?

Well, right now we’re advocating — there’s a lot of people advocating — for a 15% increase to SNAP benefits. So they had loosened up some of the restrictions so more people can apply and make it easier to apply, but we’re asking for a 15% increase. During the American Recovery Act in 2008, they added an additional 13.5%. And then after the Recovery Act ended that got pulled back, so we’re asking 15% more and the Republicans are flat out refusing to do it. Flat out refusing. In these last negotiations for the additional PPP in the CARES Act, Democrats wanted to add some things like 15% for SNAP, but… they kind of lost leverage because the PPP ran out and people were just freaking out that they couldn’t get funding.

It’s just a dumb political football game.

I imagine you fund a lot of charitable work through your hospitality businesses. What are those looking like with the crisis?

Well, we’re closed. And in New York, I have no idea when we’re going to open up. The question isn’t also when our governor says it’s okay to open up. The question is whether or not the public are going to feel safe going to a restaurant. When you think about what you have to do to sanitize a restaurant, well heck, every single person walks in you have to go out there and wipe down the door? I’m a co-founder of an organization called the Independent Restaurant Coalition and we have representation and lobbying for what we’re looking for and it’s just not looking good. PPP is not going to work for restaurants. It works for businesses that are currently open, it doesn’t work for businesses that are closed and forced to close right now. So I don’t know.

The James Beard Foundation did a poll across the country and already 20% of restaurants are saying they will not be able to reopen. And that number is going to grow when the reality sinks in. The problem isn’t even getting the doors open. The problem is what kind of business are we looking at when doors are open? Twenty percent? Thirty percent? That’s not sustainable.

Right.

PPP is not helping. If they change the date of origin to when we open restaurants versus when we actually got the loan for our PPP, that would be helpful. But we’re going to need something past this because I think we’re looking at depressed sales for a good six months to a year.

What are some policy changes that you think could help?

Well during the crisis the big problem with the PPP is that it gives you two months of payroll and rent and utilities, provided you bring back 100% of your full-time employees. Which is fine. The big problem right now is my employees are calling me saying, “Well, you want me to come back to work for two months on your payroll. You’re not going to be open for two months and even if we get open, you’re not going to have a full schedule for me.” Let’s just say, so I get my loan now, I bring all my staff back. I’m not open, right? Plus if they open up a month and a half later, I only have funding for my employees for another two weeks. Then they’re back on unemployment. Because if I open up I’m not going to be opened up to the same level of business I was.

Right.

So if you change the day of origin to when the restaurant opens, then I have two months. They’re on unemployment now, they come off unemployment, we open the doors, and we start working. That’s two months where they’re guaranteed salary. I get some rent paid there. And then the only costs I have running the business are some hard costs and food purchases. So now I have some money to get open and on top of that, we’ll be doing what we call a restaurant stabilization package where it’s going to help replace some of our lost income that we’re going to look at going forward to the next six months.

How are you feeding your staff now?

The majority of my staff’s on unemployment right now. We’re in contact with them. Out of the 470 employees that we laid off, we only heard that 24 of them do not have unemployment. I don’t know how accurate that number is, but that’s the response that we have so far. In New York State, unemployment I think maxes out at $525 a week. If you had the $600 that the federal government’s putting on top of that, restaurant workers are making over $1,000 a week. It’s paying their rent, food, and no one’s really going out so I think right now they’re okay. And they’d rather be working, I’d rather be open, but they’re okay.

We do have a fund that was set up. We sold a bunch of gift certificates, stuff like that. So we’re asking our employees if they have any circumstances where they’re really desperate, let us know if they can’t pay their bills or they’re facing eviction or if they have medical bills or something like that, and we’ll help. We’ll help out the best we can, but restaurants rely on daily cash flow. I made a business decision to lay everyone off, because I was on some phone calls early on and knowing that there was going to be an immediate reaction. The first reaction was going to be unemployment was going get plucked up. So my suggestion to all my staff was to try to apply as quickly as possible, don’t wait.

New York State seems to be handling their claims pretty well, but I hear states like Florida, I heard news stories that only 4% of the claims were actually processed. This, again shows just how if you want to take unemployment and push it out to the states, some states are better than others, some states purposely make it difficult to get unemployment so it deters people from applying. These claims are way up, which is costing a ton of money. And this is the system, keep in mind, that the employee pays into and the employer pays into. States are just taking our money and they’re mismanaging it.

What are some problems you see coming with the food supply chain?

Couple things: in some cases supply is outstripping demand. This is why you’re seeing some dairy farmers just throwing milk out. Because think about it — a lot of the businesses that were buying a ton of food like restaurants and college campuses and schools and stadiums and things like that, they’re shut down now. So some food is being overproduced. So farmers are throwing stuff out.

At the same time, when you see processing plants close because of COVID — and there hasn’t been one. There’s one in San Diego getting all the press, but there have been several others and if they shut down the amount of meat that was going through those plants, eventually it’s going to hit the system and we’re going to start seeing meat shortages.

Again, what this does is really expose, and this goes back to policy, the problems with a highly concentrated, vertically-integrated food system — where one company is producing everything. Companies like Tyson and Smithfield where they have such a stranglehold over the production. What it does is it puts all of your eggs in one basket instead of having it spread out throughout the country. If we’re spread out and these are smaller plants, if one shuts down, it’s not going to have that much of an effect. But because everything is concentrated, it’s going to have a major effect. I think we’ll see that in a couple of weeks.

The other problem you have is with cattle ranchers. The majority of the prime cuts of meat, filet mignon, racks, ribs, and loins, and things like that, most of that stuff goes to restaurants. Restaurants are closed, where is that meat going? Seventy percent of all fish consumed in this country is consumed in restaurants. What are the fishermen doing now? You’re not fishing. You’re not making a living, yet they still got to pay payments on their boats and their slips and all that stuff and they have workers who work for them too.

It’s showing the weakness in food production, how it’s distributed, and then obviously our most vulnerable workers who are now all of a sudden deemed necessary workers who up until two months ago were just low pay workers. I think we need to take a look at how workers are compensated up and down the food chain. They need to look at universal health coverage. When 22 million Americans apply for unemployment, their health insurance is tied to their jobs. They’re going to lose their healthcare. A system where you’re tying healthcare to employment… it’s a bad idea.

In terms of the vertically integrated food system, what are policies there that could improve the way it’s currently done?

Create incentives for local foods. It’s about food sovereignty. It’s about taking back the system so it works for people and not for corporations. And you could do that through tax incentives. One of the bigger problems for regional farmers to grow meat is just there are no slaughterhouses. I’m on Eastern Long Island right now on the Northport and I have two friends who have farms. One just sells chicken and the other one has chicken, pork, and lamb. They’ve got to take their animals and ship them to Canada to get processed. It’s so inefficient because there are no slaughterhouses here. So having small, regional slaughterhouses. They don’t have to be huge so that people don’t want to see these big eyesores, but they can be smaller processing plants run by the USDA so the animals can be slaughtered at a local level and food distribution becomes localized.

If you can incentivize the local producers, is there a way to dis-incentivize the mass corporate consolidation that happens?

You can look at whether or not they’re monopolies. And break them up. We’ve done it before.

How are you just dealing personally right now?

It’s rough. Number one, laying off as many people as I’ve laid off. In some cases, people who have worked for me for 18 years. But they understand it. Luckily, no one in my organization has died. A few people were sick but had mild cases. And family-wise, only one person in my family had a mild case and she’s doing okay now. Distance learning. I have a nine-year-old and a 10-year-old so distance learning is challenging at times.

Are you taking up the homeschool reins there?

Some of it, yeah. Yeah. I’m in a way busier than I’ve ever been just kind of working with RIC and doing a lot of press hits and things like that so it’s been… I’m keeping myself busy. I’m cooking a ton of food and baking bread and I got my garden started early this year which is nice. So… we’ll see. Yeah.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. Read more of his cooking commentary in UPROXX’s Cooking Battles and Viral Cooking. For past Top Chef Power Rankings, go here.