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Mom’s comics perfectly illustrate the double standard of how society treats mothers and fathers

Last November, Upworthy published a popular story about Chloe Sexton, a mother who went viral on TikTok for a video she made explaining “daddy privilege” or the idea that fathers are applauded for doing things that mothers are supposed to do.

“In my opinion, ‘daddy privilege’ is that subtle upper hand men sidestep into as parents that allows them to gain praise for simply…being a parent,” she said. “You fed the baby? What a great dad! You held the baby while mommy bathed? So considerate of you! You picked up something for dinner? What would your family do without you?! It’s all the little ways mothers do exactly what the world expects of them without a second thought and then watch fathers get praised for simply showing up.”

Sadly, the post resonated with a lot of mothers, because it’s true. Expectations for fathers are so low that men are commended for handling basic parenting tasks. But if a mother falls short of perfection, she faces harsh criticism.

Mary Catherine Starr, a mother living in Cape Cod who owns a design studio and teaches yoga, is getting a lot of love on Instagram for her cartoon series that perfectly explains daddy privilege.


In “An Illustrated Guide to the Double Standards of Parenting,” Starr shares this concept by showing that when a man comes home with fast food for his kids he’s the “fun dad.” But if a mom comes back with a bag from McDonald’s she is seen as a “lazy mom.”

In the comics, the same double standards apply whether it’s how they handle technology or parent at the park.

(Note: Click the arrow on the right-hand side of the image to see the slideshow.)

Starr was quick to point out in the comments that the target of her comics isn’t fathers, but society at large. “This is not a dig at dads, it’s a dig at our society—a society that applauds dads for handling the most basic of parenting duties + expects nothing short of perfection from mothers (or even worse, shames them for every decision and/or move they make!),” she wrote.

The comics resonated with a lot of women.

“This hit a nerve with so many women! I was a single mom living in an apartment,” an Instagram user named Saturdayfarm wrote in the comments. “Next door – a single dad. Neighbors felt so bad for him that they helped him with his laundry, brought over food, and babysat. For nothing. I just shakily carried on somehow. And I had so much less money and opportunities.”

“This is exactly part of the why I feel like being ‘just’ a mom isn’t as valuable. Being so run of the mill. But if my husband has the baby in a sling, the toddler in the pram and is out walking the dog, he’s superman for letting me have one hour for zoom work,” rebecca_lee-close_yoga wrote.

A father who understands his privilege completely supports Starr’s message.

“It actually annoys me when I get those types of comments / ‘compliments’ knowing it’s totally a double standard,” JonaJooey wrote.

Starr’s comics and Sexton’s TikTok videos won’t stop the double standards when it comes to parenting, but they do a great job at holding a mirror up to the problem. Where do we go from here? We can start by having greater expectations for fathers and holding them up to a higher standard. Then, we should take the energy we put into praising dads for doing the bare minimum and heap it on mothers who thanklessly go about the most important job in the world.

This story originally appeared on 02.01.22

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What’s up with Wyoming? Video explains why it’s ’empty’ compared to twin neighbor Colorado

Most states in the U.S. have oddly shaped boundaries, largely formed by meandering waterways and coastal irregularities. But two states stand out for their seemingly defiant rectangularness—Wyoming and Colorado.

These almost-twin states share a border, are almost exactly the same size (Colorado is just 1.06 times larger than Wyoming), boast basically the same shape and have the Rocky Mountains eating into a sizeable chunk of them. (Wyoming’s share of mountains is a bit larger than Colorado’s, but its topography isn’t nearly different enough than Colorado’s to account for how many fewer people it has.)

Wyoming’s population as of 2022 was estimated to be just over 580,000, while Colorado’s was estimated to be just over 5.8 million. Almost exactly a 10-fold difference between the two very similar states.

So…why?


Water resources? A logical guess, but nope. Both states contain the headwaters of multiple major rivers, and according to RealLifeLore, Wyoming actually has a slight edge over Colorado due to the way its freshwater is legally allocated.

What makes Wyoming the least populous U.S. state despite being the country’s 10th largest state by area has to do with the Gold Rush, agriculture, World War II, federal lands, the rise of the telecom industry, educational institutions, airplanes and more. It’s a historical Tale of Two States that illustrates how twins with different upbringings can share many similarities but also end up with two very different life stories.

Watch the folks at RealLifeLore explain the population discrepancy between Wyoming and Colorado:

The one correction some people in the comments of the video offered up was that referring to the “mild” climate in Wyoming seems a bit misleading. Several people mentioned that the winter weather in Wyoming is harsher than in Colorado, which may account for fewer people wanting to live there. (However, considering the fact that there are more densely populated places in the world with exceptionally punishing winters, weather doesn’t fully explain it, either.)

It’ll be interesting to see in another hundred years or so if these states’ population trends change, but for now, Wyoming remains the least populous and most naturally undisturbed state. So if you’re big on the outdoors and not so big on people, the Equality State (Side fun fact: Wyoming was the first state to give women the right to vote.) might just be the place for you. If you love the mountains but also people, Colorado may be more your speed.

This article originally appeared on 5.10.23

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Mark Wahlberg on why, as a Hollywood A-lister, he won’t deny his faith

Hollywood isn’t a place where people typically talk about their faith. In a world run by free-thinking creatives and people with secular, progressive values, those who hew to more traditional, conservative Christian beliefs tend to be less visible.

But Mark Wahlberg has no problem being vocal about his Catholic faith, which must be refreshing to the approximately 61 million Catholics in America.

Wahlberg spoke about the balance he has to strike between his private and professional life on the Today show on February 22, also known as Ash Wednesday to Christians. The “Boogie Nights” actor wore an ash cross on his forehead to commemorate the holy day.

“It’s a balance,” the 51-year-old actor said. “I don’t want to jam it down anybody’s throat, but I do not deny my faith. That’s an even bigger sin. You know, it’s not popular in my industry, but I cannot deny my faith. It’s important for me to share that with people. But, I have friends from all walks of life and all different types of faiths and religions, so it’s important to respect and honor them as well.”

He also believes in leading through his example instead of pressuring his four children to follow his faith.

“I don’t force it on them,” he said. “But they know that Dad can’t start the day without being in prayer, can’t start the day without reading my Scripture or going to Mass. And hopefully, instead of forcing that on them, they’ll say, ‘Well, if it works for Dad, maybe it’ll work for us,’ and they’ll kind of gravitate towards it on their own.”

Wahlberg can keep his faith strong while dealing with the pressures of Hollywood thanks to his relationship with Father Flavin, a parish priest who helped him make drastic changes in his life. As a young man, Wahlberg was a high school dropout who had multiple run-ins with the law. But Flavin has helped him turn his life around.

“He’s been in my life since I was 13,” Wahlberg said of Flavin. “He married me and my wife and baptized all my children.” It’s also believed that Flavin helps Whalberg choose his movie roles that “honor his religious roots.”

The “Father Stu” star says that his faith has helped him develop the discipline to be a successful actor.

“Discipline has always been important for me in life,” he told Today. “Once I started getting into movies and transitioned from music, I realized I needed a lot of discipline in my life, and that discipline has afforded me so many other things. I’ve been rewarded for it so much, and I want to share that with people, whether that’s with fasting, working out more, detaching from other things and just spending more time with God, in prayer or in thoughtful reflection. Those things are important.”

Wahlberg’s ability to live a life in alignment with his faith is noble in an industry that can easily challenge one’s moral compass. It’s also noteworthy that has chosen to live by example instead of being preachy and is accepting of those who may believe differently.

This article originally appeared on 2.24.23

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Former teacher gets blunt about the ‘denial’ some parents have about their kids education

Many kids are seriously struggling in school. According to US News, an estimated 49% of public students started off the 2022-2023 school year behind in at least one subject as last year. That’s only a small fraction better than the 50% of students behind in the previous year.

And while there are several factors contributing to this issue—recovery from the COVID-19 pandemic, a lack of resources for many public schools, a teacher shortage, etc.—several educators feel that a majorly overlooked aspect is the parents’ involvement, or lack thereof, in their child’s education.


Recently, one former teacher bluntly stated that it was parents’ “denial” that’s to blame. Odion, who now works as a flight attendant, made her case in response to another teacher asking parents “Why don’t y’all know that your kids aren’t performing on their grade level?” on TikTok.

In the original video, the teacher (@qbthedon) laments that even though he teaches 7th grade, most of them still perform on a 4th grade level, and, despite his efforts, those kids still move onto the next grade. The worst part is that the parents don’t seem to be aware that their kids are struggling.

@qbthedon Lets chat!! #fyp #viral #teachertok ♬ original sound – QBSkiiii

This lack of awareness and engagement dates back further than the pandemic years, says Odion, who taught Pre-K and Kindergarten in 2013.

Case in point: parent-teacher conference nights, where virtually no parent would show up. Odion then recalled one father who did attend with his daughter, called Tia for the story, but would not believe that Tia did not know the full alphabet.

“In kindergarten, you have to at least know, I think it was 80% of the 52 letters, as in uppercase and lowercase, and you have to be able to identify at random. So, I’m telling the dad that she barely knows 10 letters. And he’s in denial. ‘Nah, you know, she knows her letters,'” Odion says.

She then acts out that night, using a makeshift flashcard like she did to test Tia.

“I literally said, ‘What letter is this?’” Odion says while holding up the letter “M.” “She said something that’s not it. Put another one down. ‘What letter is this?’ She don’t know it.”

teaching

Even still, the dad insisted that Tia knew her letters, then eventually blamed Tia’s older brother, who, despite only being a sixth grader himself, was apparently “supposed to teach her.”

“It is not up to a child in elementary school, or middle school, or really any of your older kids, as someone who’s an older child… It is not up to the kids to teach younger kids,” Odion says in the clip.

Using another example, Odion states that a fifth grader in her class was reading at a kindergarten level and could only process basic sentences like “I see you” and “I like to see.”

In this instance, the students should be held back in order to fully learn the year’s curriculum. But Odion argues that parents fight against it “because they are more concerned about the optics of a child being held back than actually taking care of the child’s needs.”

parenting

In this instance, the students should be held back in order to fully learn the year’s curriculum. But Odion argues that parents fight against it “because they are more concerned about the optics of a child being held back than actually taking care of the child’s needs.”

While the research shows that holding kids back a grade doesn’t necessarily improve their academic performance, and that there are pros and cons either way, the biggest point Odion seems to be trying to make is that parents need to be more proactive in their child’s education.

“Parents, y’all can’t be backseat drivers about your child’s learning. You have to help reinforce it at home. You put a kid in front of that phone or iPad whenever they come home, it better be on YouTube, and it better be learning about letters and sight words. You can’t tell me you can’t read to the kid. It takes 10 minutes to read to the kid. No one is that busy,” she concludes.

Watch the full video below:

@bodacious_bobo #stitch with @QBSkiiii ♬ original sound – Odion • $OdionE

This article originally appeared on 1.5.24

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How To Get The Uber Promo Code To Beyoncé ‘Cowboy Carter’ Listening Parties

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Earlier this week, Uber appeared to tease a collaboration with Beyoncé, after they posted a video of a similar horse from her Cowboy Carter album cover on social media. Now, more details have been revealed about what was in store. “We’ve got some news,” they teased in an Instagram post.

In honor of Beyoncé’s early album single “16 Carriages,” Uber is offering fans the chance to get 16% off of their rides — in case anyone is heading out to hear the record at a party tonight.

Here’s what to know about getting the Uber deal.

How To Get The Uber Promo Code To Beyoncé Cowboy Carter Listening Parties

For those looking to get the Uber discount, fans can use the promo code “16CARRIAGES” for 16% off (only up to $16). This deal will only be available from 9 p.m. ET tonight (March 28) until 9 p.m. ET tomorrow (March 29).

This is also only available as a one-time use, so users will not be able to apply it for a round trip — only for a single ride to a listening party. The release also notes that the offer and terms can change, but people can find additional information about it in their Uber app.

Cowboy Carter is out 3/29 via Parkwood/Columbia. Find more information here.

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Is Drake Featured On Bfb Da Packman’s ‘Olympic Sh*t Talkin?’

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While much of the world prepares for the arrival of Beyoncé’s long-awaited country album Cowboy Carter, stalwart fans of Flint rapper Bfb Da Packman have been hyping the impending release of his album, Forget Me Not. Rap fans were surprised and enthused when he shared the tracklist, which promised a Drake feature on the song “Olympic Sh*t Talkin” — especially with, well, circumstances. However, there appears to be a wrinkle: According to Complex on Twitter, Drake doesn’t appear on the song at all.

However, Packman responded to Complex’s post, calling it “Fake news” shortly after.

So, which is it? Is Drake featured on ‘Olympic Sh*t Talkin’” or not?

According to Packman, the discrepancy is due to timezones and a recent change to the album’s tracklist with his distribution service, TuneCore. It looks like Drake’s verse came through after the album was uploaded to the distribution service, so an update was made that hasn’t taken effect yet in timezones where the album is already out. The version of the song with Drake’s verse should appear when the album goes live on streamers at midnight ET / 9pm PT tonight.

Packman had one more thing to say on the matter, though. He’s convinced that “someone” (he doesn’t specify who) is trying to sabotage his release. However, it’s more likely that because updates were made at the last minute, they had yet to take effect, and fans commenting on the discrepancy naturally warranting reporting since the song was so heavily anticipated. In all likelihood, Packman may want to view this as a good thing, because it means people are definitely going to be checking for his album, even with a new Beyoncé album on the same day. Pretty impressive for an independent artist.

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Chuck And Shaq Go To Couples Counseling With Dr. J In TNT’s New NBA Playoffs Ad Campaign

shaq barkley
TNT

We are three weeks away from the start of the NBA Playoffs, and the stretch run of the regular season is in full force as teams jockey for playoff position and Play-In seeding.

Mid-March is the start of the busy season for the good folks over at TNT Sports, as the NCAA Tournament coverage rolls straight into the NBA Playoffs, where the Inside the NBA crew will be going live almost every night. Going from a weekly show to a nightly show means an awful lot more opportunities for Charles Barkley and Shaquille O’Neal to get on each other’s nerves, and we’ve seen over the past two decades how the two can wear on each other in studio over the course of the postseason.

Chuck’s constant determination to get under Shaq’s skin is part of what makes the show such a delight, and this year as they get ready for the playoffs, TNT is steering into those shenanigans in their ad campaign for this year’s postseason coverage. In a new spot that will debut during the Sweet 16 on Thursday night, which TNT provided to Dime for an exclusive early look, Chuck and Shaq take a trip to couples counseling where they see the good doctor, Julius Erving, to try and work things out before a trust fall exercise goes wrong.

It’s a delightful spot and I’m sure the fellas didn’t have to try too hard to act like they were annoyed with each other. We’ve gotten some great Shaq-Chuck playoff moments like the “one, two, back to one” rant by Shaq and Chuck asking Shaq “who do they mistake you for? Shrek?”, and once they have to sit on that desk together every night again come playoff time, I’m sure we’ll get more for the Chuck and Shaq highlight reel.

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The 11 Best TV Shows To Watch In Honor Of Women’s History Month

Womens History Month TV Shows
Merle Cooper

We might only have one more weekend left in Women’s History Month, but consider this: women’s history is important all the time! As the prophet Reese Witherspoon once said, “Women’s stories matter. They just matter,” and she said that during a month other than March, so you have to believe her.

Luckily, there are enough shows to entertain you beyond this month, because women’s stories do matter, even the messy and sometimes annoying ones. Here are 10 of the best shows to dive into during the last week of Women’s History Month, and hopefully they will carry you over into April (which is Stress Awareness Month, just so you know). Some of these shows overlap with that, too!

Girls5Eva
Netflix

Girls5Eva

Nothing says “supporting women” like bringing a show back from the brink of cancellation. Girls5Eva first dropped on Peacock before Netflix stepped in for its most recent third season, which has been getting praise for its new direction and 30 Rock style wit. The show stars Busy Phillips, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Paula Pell, and Sara Bareilles as a former 1990s girl group who reunite decades later. Who doesn’t love a good comeback story?

Watch it on Netflix

The Queens Gambit
Netflix

The Queen’s Gambit

In this surprise Netflix hit, Anya Taylor-Joy stars as Beth Harmon, a young chess prodigy who won’t let men get in the way of her promising career — though they sure do try. Harmon struggles with addiction, sexism, and family drama over the years, but she never lets that affect her killer chess moves.

Watch it on Netflix

The Crown Season 6
Netflix

The Crown

Say a gambit isn’t quite enough for you… why not try a real monarchy instead? The Crown takes the most interesting (and sometimes made-up) parts of the Royal Family and adds in iconic British actors for a dramatic retelling. While every season has its worthwhile plotline, both Emma Corrin and Elizabeth Debicki do an excellent job of telling Princess Diana’s tragic story in seasons four and five.

Watch it on Netflix

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Netflix

Unbelievable

This Netflix series is not for the faint of heart. Unbelievable tells the story of the two women who piece together the brutal assault of a young woman after a bunch of male police officers don’t believe her. While it truly does seem unbelievable, the events are inspired by a real case where two female detectives teamed up to stop a serial rapist. In the Netflix iteration, the duo is played by the incomparable Toni Collete and Merritt Wever, while Kaitlyn Dever gives a devastating portrayal of a young survivor who is taken under their wings.

Watch it on Netflix

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Netflix

Santa Clarita Diet

It takes a very special show to accurately capture the charm and absurdity of Drew Barrymore, but Santa Clarita Diet is one of the few that did. Barrymore is joined by Timothy Olyphant, Liv Hewson, and Skyler Gisondo for a heartwarming and sometimes gruesome show about loving your family even when they are undead.

Watch it on Netflix

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HBO

Big Little Lies

As mentioned above, Reese Witherspoon is the patron saint of telling women’s stories, which is why Big Little Lies is one of the best female-centric shows of the streaming age. Add in Nicole Kidman, the patron saint of heartbreak, and you’ve got a prestige hit on your hands. The HBO series follows five women in the picturesque city of Monterey California who become entangled in each other’s very secretive lives. With Witherspoon, Kidman, Laura Dern, Shailene Woodley, Zoe Kravitz, Adam Scott, and Alexander Skarsgard, there are enough beautiful people engulfed in drama to keep you busy for a few weeks.

Watch it on HBO Max

Apples Never Fall
Peacock

Apples Never Fall

Based on the novel by Liane Moriarty (Big Little Lies), Apples Never Fall tells the complex story of the Delaneys, a competitive family filled with tension and not a lot of love (because of the whole tennis prodigy thing). Four siblings (including Jake Lacy and Alison Brie) investigate the disappearance of their mother Joy (Annette Benning) and quickly learn that she had her fair share of secrets she kept hidden. There are twists, red herrings, and Sam Neill with an American Accent, but most importantly, Benning’s performance is one of her best after her recent Oscar nom.

Watch it on Peacock

Emily In Paris
Netflix

Emily In Paris

There is nothing like the strong feminine urge to eat a croissant and sometimes the only way to appease feeling that is to watch the romantic comedy Emily In Paris. Emily (Lily Collins) has various misadventures in love and life in Paris while wearing extravagant and sometimes absurd outfits. It’s not groundbreaking television, but it does feel like sharing a glass of wine with your college friend who studied abroad once and still talks about it ten years later.

Watch it on Netflix

The Great Hulu
Hulu

The Great

Women in power always have a complex backstory! While The Great, starring Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult, is loosely based on Catherine The Great, many of her on-screen storylines are satirical and over-the-top, and the series does not have much historical backbone. However, she frequently gets the ick from her husband, Emperor Peter of Russia, and uses that momentum to overthrow him.

Watch it on Hulu

Felicity Keri Russell
The WB

Felicity

There is nothing quite as validating as learning that you are not the first nor the last woman who has gotten a drastic haircut after a significant breakup. Felicity is just like us! Keri Russell stars as the titular young woman who sets out to New York City to follow a guy, but ends up finding herself instead, thanks to JJ Abrams. Cue the Sarah McLaughlin soft rock and Scott Foley’s puppy dog eyes.

Watch it on Hulu

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Netflix

Grace And Frankie

If you are afraid of getting older (who isn’t) then let Grace and Frankie gently guide you through the scary unknown of the future. The sitcom stars Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda as two formal rivals turned best friends after their respective marriages crumble. The two navigate old age and find humor in the very un-funny world of divorce.

Watch it on Netflix

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Kristen Stewart Won’t Engage In The ‘F***ing Nightmare’ Of Doing A Marvel Movie, Unless It’s For One Certain Director

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Being cast in a Marvel movie used to be like joining a fun and exclusive club with fellow A-listers. Now it’s not a guarantee for helping a career. Actors used to beg to lead their own Marvel film, after all.

Kristen Stewart knows a thing or two about high-profile roles, but she has no interest in working on a Marvel movie. “I will likely never do a Marvel movie .. it sounds like a f—ing nightmare, actually,” Stewart said on a recent episode of “Not Skinny But Not Fat.” She is not the first nor will she be the last to side-step those franchises.

Stewart explained her reasoning, “You would have to put so much money and so much trust into one person … and it doesn’t happen,” Stewart said. “And so therefore what ends up happening is this algorithmic, weird experience where you can’t feel personal at all about it. So likely not,” she added. It’s not like Stewart needs a Marvel movie to stay afloat– she is currently gearing up to make her directorial debut with The Chronology of Water. She doesn’t really need to be running elbows with space villains.

The Love Lies Bleeding actress did say that she would be open to joining the MCU if some big changes were made. “But maybe the world changes, that’s what I’m saying. How could I tell you no when maybe one day … if Greta Gerwig asked me to do a Marvel movie, then I would do it,” she added. It seems unlikely for Gerwig to ever lead her own Marvel movie, but it also seemed unlikely that she would make a movie about a Barbie doll, and look how that ended up going.

(Via Variety)

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The Meaning Behind The Beatles’ ‘Blackbird,’ Which Beyoncé Covers On ‘Cowboy Carter’

The Beatles released “Blackbird” in 1968. Thirteen years later, Beyoncé was born (thank God), and roughly 42 years later, Beyoncé will release a cover of “Blackbird,” which is listed as “Blackbiird” on her Cowboy Carter tracklist. The highly anticipated country album is due out on Friday, March 29, serving as her Renaissance Act II.” Cowboy Carter also finds Beyoncé covering Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” and welcoming Miley Cyrus, Post Malone, and Shaboozey as featured artists.

The Meaning Behind The Beatles’ “Blackbird,” Which Beyoncé Covers On Cowboy Carter

In 2018, Sir Paul McCartney explained to GQ how and why he wrote “Blackbird,” as excerpted below:

“I was sitting around with my acoustic guitar, and I’d heard about the civil rights troubles that were happening in the ’60s, in Alabama, Mississippi, [and] Little Rock, in particular, so that was in my mind, and I just thought it’d be really good if I could write something that if it ever reached any of the people going through those problems, it might give ’em a little bit of hope. So, I wrote ‘Blackbird.’

And in England, a bird is a girl, so I was thinking of a Black girl going through this, you know, now is your time to arise, set yourself free, and take these broken wings. One of the nice things about music is that you know that a lot of people listening to you are going to take seriously what you are saying in the song. So, I’m very proud of the fact that The Beatles’ output is always really pretty positive.”

In 2016, McCartney met Thelma Mothershed Wair and Elizabeth Eckford, two Little Rock Nine members who attended his concert in Little Rock, Arkansas, as relayed by Rolling Stone at the time. McCartney posted a photo alongside them and wrote, “Incredible to meet two of the Little Rock Nine—pioneers of the civil rights movement and inspiration for ‘Blackbird.’”

Cowboy Carter is out 3/29 via Parkwood/Columbia. Find more information here.