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There are many reasons why people are nervous about entering social situations where they have to make small talk, such as a work event, a party where they don’t know many people, or at school.

Some people don’t enjoy small talk because they get frustrated talking about seemingly unimportant topics. At the same time, others are shy and afraid they’ll say the wrong thing or run out of topics of conversation.

Psychologists suggest those who are uncomfortable knowing what to say should use the FORD method. It’s an acronym that’s an easy way to remember four different topics of conversation that work with just about anyone.

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According to Nicole Arzt, M.S., L.M.F.T at Social Self, FORD stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams.

Family

Just about everyone has a family, so it’s a great way to ask someone to share some information about their personal lives without being too forward. Arzt suggests the following questions when making small talk:

Do you have any siblings?

How did you two meet? (if you are meeting a couple for the first time)

How old is your child?

How is your____ (sister, brother, mother, etc.) doing since ____ (event that happened?)

Occupation

Just like a family, almost everyone has a job. Or, if they do not, that can be an interesting topic as well. Here are some starter questions you can ask someone about their job.

What do you do for a living?

How do you like working at _____?

What’s your favorite part of your job?

What made you interested in becoming a _____?

Recreation

You can learn a lot about a person after knowing how they spend their free time. It’s also an excellent way to determine if someone is like-minded and shares the same interests. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling:

What do you like to do for fun?

Have you watched (or read) ______(popular show/book)?

What are you up to this weekend?

Dreams

Learning someone’s hope for the future can tell you much about who they are on a deeper level. They may have just told you about their current job or how they spend their time. But, ultimately, what do they wish to do with their lives? Here’s how to ask someone about their dreams.

Where do you hope to be working in the next few years?

Where would you like to travel?

What’s something you’d like to try in the future?

Would you ever consider trying _____ (particular hobby or activity)?

Arzt also notes that you shouldn’t just be an interviewer. You have to talk about yourself, too. In other words, you need a mutual take-and-give. “Pay attention to someone else’s answers and think about how you can draw from your own experience to connect,” she wrote.

Not sure how much to say during a conversation? Follow the 43:57 rule. A numbers guy at Gong.io analyzed over 25,000 sales calls with AI and found the perfect speaking-to-listening ratio. Sales soared when the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened for 57%.

Even though this insight is from business calls, it applies to everyday social interactions. It’s really about listening and making the other person feel special. After all, who doesn’t love feeling heard and appreciated?

This article originally appeared on 10.20.23

Love them or hate them, beauty pageants have long been a fascination for people around the world. Every year, women compete in local pageants that funnel to state and national levels, then finally to the Miss World and Miss Universe competitions at the global level.

One of the most anticipated parts of a pageant, for both the lovers and the haters, is the interview portion. Instead of just watching them waltz across stage in a glitzy gown or a bathing suit, we actually get to hear from the beauty queens and judge how well they think on their feet.

The answers to the hosts’ questions can range from smart to generic to occasionally disastrous, but one contestant’s answer from more than two decades ago has gone viral because it was just oh-so-real.

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Miss USA 1997, Brook Antoinette Mahealani Lee from Hawaii, was one of the finalists in the Miss Universe pageant when the host asked, “If you had no rules in your life for one day, and you could be outrageous, what would you do?”

Lee’s facial expression during the question was adorable, and her quick answer said it all.

“I would eat. Everything. In the world,” she said, emphasizing every single word.

“You do not understand,” she said with a huge grin. “I would eat everything, twice.”

Watch:

— (@)

The audience loved it, the host’s cackle sounded just as genuine as her answer, and Lee would go on to be crowned Miss Universe that evening.

However, her placing her hand on her stomach as she walked away in this video was a reminder that, even though it received a big laugh, her answer was rooted in the reality of the pressure these women feel to be thin. This was especially true in the 1990s, when “heroin chic” was coined to describe the desired look of models at the time. Women starving themselves to maintain a certain physique isn’t actually funny, then or now.

In fact, Lee herself shared in a Hey Adam G podcast interview that her answer was actually a “political statement” in response to the controversy of her predecessor, Alicia Machado, gaining weight during the year of her Miss Universe reign in 1996. Donald Trump, who had purchased the Miss Universe that same year, made Machado’s weight a public ordeal, allegedly calling her “Miss Piggy,” making comments about how much she liked to eat and blindsiding her with dozens of cameramen at a gym in New York City to film her exercising.

Lee had even been asked directly about weight gain as a winner during the Miss USA pageant, with the question, “Miss Universe has recently been the subject of a lot of press attention about her weight. If this happened to you, how would you handle it?”

Lee said she was shocked that they would ask that question. Machado was sitting there in the audience when Lee was asked it, making for “a very weird moment.” But her answer was exemplary:

“I think I would take a good hard look at myself, and I’d look from the inside out, and I would know I was the same girl that was crowned that day and it really didn’t matter what I look like on the outside, because I won for what I was in here. So if I go up, I go down, I get taller, I get shorter, my nose gets bigger, smaller, I’m still who I was when that crown was on my head, and I am a good representative no matter what.”

Lee said that by the time the Miss Universe question was asked, she was sick of all of the controversy over weight, so she wanted to be able to make a statement in some way if the opportunity presented itself. Her answer that she would eat-all-the-things if she had no rules for one day was her way of giving the middle finger

A relatable reaction to a ridiculous situation. Good on her for keeping it real.

A video making the rounds on TikTok is a prime example of how American corporate culture can be downright cruel. Even the company CEO said it was “painful” to watch. The video was posted on TikTok by Brittany Pietsch, who was fired from her job as an account executive at Cloudflare just 3 months after being hired.

Cloudflare is an American company that provides content delivery network services and cloud cybersecurity, based in San Francisco, California.

After hearing her coworkers were getting fired through video calls, Pietsch prepared herself to push back against the bad news, when one was scheduled for her. But she had very little ground to stand on in the conversation because the HR people doing the firing had little knowledge of her situation and all of the answers sounded scripted.

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The video, titled “POV: You’re about to get laid off,” featured Pietsch looking at her computer screen and although you cannot see the people firing her, their voices can be heard.

@brittanypeachhh

Original creator reposting: brittany peach cloudflare layoff. When you know you’re about to get laid off so you film it 🙂 this was traumatizing honestly lmao #cloudflare #techlayoffs #tech #layoff

“We finished our evaluations of 2023 performance and this is where you’ve not met Cloudflare expectations for performance and we’ve decided to part ways with you,” the HR representative can be heard saying.

Pietsch was shocked that she was being laid off because she had just started the job in October and her 3-month ramp-up was interrupted by the holidays. “I’m going to stop you right there,” she said. “I’ve been on a three-month ramp, and then it was three weeks of December, and then a week of Christmas and here we are. I have had the highest activity amongst my team.”

The 3-month ramp-up is the allotment of time a company gives a salesperson to get up to speed on their new assignment. She also thought that she was meeting expectations at her new job.

“Every single one-on-one I’ve had with my manager, every conversation I’ve had with him, he’s been giving me nothing but that I am doing a great job,” she said.

The CloudFlare layoff video is going viral because the woman in the video gave a voice to the frustration that many tech workers have with the decisions made from management over the last few years

— Josh (@JoshuaOgundu) January 12, 2024

Even though Pietsch may have a case for keeping her job, she soon realizes she has no chance to save it because the HR people know very little about her performance. The HR representatives say they aren’t giving her any “clarity or answers” that will “meet the expectations that you’re communicating to us.” The HR people add that they are happy to follow up with her about her performance, but Pietsch doubts that will ever happen. “But then when?” she asks. “If it’s not as I’m getting fired, it’s certainly not going to be after when I’m no longer part of the company.” Eventually, the exchange ends when the HR representative concludes that there is nothing they can do for her.

“So I don’t think there’s anything we can say in this moment or today, Brittany, that’s going to change the way that you feel,” the HR representative said before moving the conversation toward the next steps of the firing process.

The video has been seen over 4 million times on X, so the CEO of Cloudflare Matthew Prince, responded to the video on the platform. He admitted that the video was painful to watch but reiterated that Pietsch was let go for her performance.

The positive takeaway is that the CEO noted the process wasn’t “kind” or “humane” and that he will look into “improving” it “going forward.” The video is also an excellent example for other companies on how not to let someone go, especially at a time when people are very sensitive about workplace behavior on social media.

We fired ~40 sales people out of over 1,500 in our go to market org. That’s a normal quarter. When we’re doing performance management right, we can often tell within 3 months or less of a sales hire, even during the holidays, whether they’re going to be successful or not. Sadly,…

— Matthew Prince 🌥 (@eastdakota) January 12, 2024

Most of us have a desire to improve our health, sleep more soundly, have more energy and just generally feel better in our daily lives. And yet those things feel elusive to many of us, so we’re always on the hunt for hacks that can help us—and if those hacks don’t require a huge change in lifestyle or herculean feats of willpower, all the better.

Thankfully, there’s one small change you can make to your morning routine that can make a big difference in how you feel, think and sleep, and it’s refreshingly simple.

In a nutshell: Go outside and face the sun. More specifically, go outside as soon as possible after waking, but definitely within the hour, and look toward the sun for 2 to 10 minutes if it’s a bright, sunny day and a little longer on a cloudy one.

Most of us know we get vitamin D from sun exposure on our skin, but that’s really not what getting morning sunlight is about. It’s about the sun’s light energy hitting our eyes.

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As Dr. Andrew Huberman, Stanford University neuroscience professor and opthamologist, explains, “This is not some ‘woo’ biological thing. This is grounded in the core of our physiology. There are literally hundreds if not thousands of quality peer-reviewed papers showing that light viewing early in the day is the most powerful stimulus for wakefulness throughout the day and it has a powerful positive impact on. your ability to fall and stay asleep at night.”

Huberman calls it a “power tool” for getting a great night’s sleep and lists it as one of the six pillars people should invest in every day—morning sunlight, daily movement, quality nutrition, stress control, healthy relationships and deep sleep.

— (@)

While the advice to look toward the sun flies in the face of all the times we’ve been warned not to look at the sun, in the early morning, the sun is less intense and you don’t need to look directly at it to get the benefits of its light rays. The photons still enter your eyes through indirect light, triggering the cortisol spike that sets your circadian rhythm in order.

“Getting sunlight in your eyes first thing in the morning is absolutely vital to mental and physical health,” Huberman says. “It is perhaps the most important thing that any and all of us can and should do in order to promote metabolic well-being, promote the positive functioning of your hormone system, get your mental health steering in the right direction.”

He explains that artificial lights aren’t the same and won’t have the same impact. Conversely, artificial light can mess up your circadian rhythm if you look at them too late at night or when you should be sleeping.

“There’s this asymmetry in our retinal, in our eye biology and our brain’s biology, whereby early in the day, right around waking, you need a lot of light, a lot of photons, a lot of light energy,” he says on his podcast. “And artificial lights generally won’t accomplish what you need them to accomplish. But at night, even a little bit of artificial light can really mess up your so-called circadian, your 24-hour clocks, and all these mechanisms we’re talking about.”

The good news is that stepping out your front door and standing in the sun doesn’t require a whole lot of willpower—at least not like exercise or resisting screens in the evening does. Simply go outside and stand there (though walking is even better). Give it a try and see if it makes a difference for you.

And you can also see Dr. Huberman go a lot more in depth about the benefits of sunlight and light therapies of all kinds here.

No one has ever said that having a baby is easy. In fact, many people will happily tell you how difficult it is to not only get through the birthing process but the first few months after giving birth as well. But there’s something that happens during the immediate days after giving birth to a human that is so foul that no one talks about it.

It’s the quietest kept secret of child birth and it may not be because other moms don’t want to share all the ins and outs of postpartum. In all honesty, it’s probably not talked about out of sheer embarrassment and confusion on if they’re the only person this has happened to because they also were not warned.

But thanks to social media, more seasoned moms and medical professionals are ripping the metaphoric curtains back to let the sun shine on this totally normal part of having a baby.

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Sarah Biggers-Stewart does a weekly series called “Taboo Tuesday” where she talks about the more sensitive topics of parenting and womanhood. In one of her recent videos discussing postpartum someone writes, “that postpartum STANK omg. Was not prepared. Stewart created a video response to elaborate on the awful smell that comes after having a baby.

“I know it sounds grotesque because it is grotesque. And it really didn’t matter what I did, the smell followed me for weeks. I’d use the bathroom and the smell would hang in the air to the point where I would tell my husband don’t go in there,” Stewart confesses.

This isn’t something that’s unique to these two moms that should probably be discussed in hushed tones over crying newborns. No, this is an actual thing that happens to a lot of women but just isn’t talked about. Everyone’s favorite labor and delivery nurse, Jen Hamilton was summoned by commenters to ease the fears of expectant moms. Alas, Hamilton had no ease to give, instead, she delivered the honest, smelly truth.

@thebiggersthebetter

Replying to @beca_1_c i wish i was lying but im not and women need to be prepared 🙈 #postpartum #givingbirth #postpartumrecover #girltalk #momtips #realtalk #momlife #protips #havingbabies #thirdtrimester #firsttimemom #newbaby #grwm #chattygrwm #babytalk

“Postpartum stink. I’m sorry to tell you, it’s a thing,” Hamilton starts her video reply. “Since we’re talking about it–the stench. You will have an aroma about your biscuit that you can’t help. Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, ain’t nothing to be afraid of. It’s just the way that it is.”

She goes on to reassure the curious that it’s not something that will be obvious to other people but that it will be most noticeable to the person who just had the baby. Hamilton also warns expectant moms to not be alarmed when the smell stays around for weeks. So what does this unspoken aroma smell like?

“The smell. If pennies were organic, meaning made out of actual living tissue and that tissue was dying and rotting. Am I selling you yet,” asks Hamilton. “It’s just a specific smell and you really just don’t understand until you get there, you know? It will go away though, okay.”

The videos were like a bat signal summoning the seasoned moms to enter the chat to confirm the weird stench exists, likely further horrifying the already horrified moms to be.

One mom writes “Omg I thought I had an infection when I smelled the postpartum smell. I was slightly worried.”

Another mom chimes in, “death it smells like death. Currently 2 weeks postpartum.”

“I smelled like a bag of onions…my entire body,” one person writes. While another woman reveals, “it smells like a rotten forgotten menstrual product. It’s been 5 years and that smell still haunts me.

@_jen_hamilton_

Replying to @Maggie

This nostril opening revelation has expectant moms and hopeful moms alike declaring they’ve changed their minds on children. Some have gone as far as to ask for a refund.

“38 weeks, how do I go about getting a refund,” a commenter asks.

“Cries in 3rd trimester,” someone writes.

“36 weeks here and I think I’m more scared of postpartum than delivery,” another expectant mom expresses.

While no one enjoys talking about the uncomfortably personal side of giving birth and everything that happens after, it’s a long overdue conversation. Armed with this information, expectant moms can talk to their doctors beforehand about the odor to get clarity on when the smell may indicate an infection that requires a visit.

In the end, it’s best for the information to be out there so there are far fewer new moms suffering in silence thinking something is gravely amiss.

Warning: This post does not contain spoilers for the season (or series?) finale of The Curse beyond one vague happenstance.

All things must end, even TV shows. Some putter along for umpteen seasons, perhaps wearing out their welcome. Some, like Breaking Bad, end at their peak, even if it’s “only” been on for five seasons. Some, like Our Flag Means Death, end prematurely, while others, like The Simpsons, may never stop. Then there are the ones that shine brilliantly for but one season then disappear into the ether, their briefness leaving a haunting vapor. Will The Curse be one of the latter?

On Sunday, January 14th, the Showtime comedy series, co-starring creators Nathan Fielder and Benny Safdie as well as Emma Stone, will reach its purportedly mind-blowing conclusion, which reviews have already spoiled. We won’t do that.

But what we can do is report on whether or not Fielder and Safdie (and Stone) have more Curse antics up their sleeve. The answer is: Who knows! Per Entertainment Weekly, no one involved has revealed whether or not they are planning more. However, given what happens to one of the main characters — which we will not reveal either — that doesn’t seem likely.

Still, The Curse could always live on, perhaps following characters who didn’t have something happen to them at the end. Or maybe it will focus on something similar but different happening to other characters. Television has always found ways of waking the dead, in one way or the other.

Since her days starring on Disney’s Hannah Montana, the public has been obsessed with Miley Cyrus. Unfortunately, one person’s infatuation with the “Flowers” singer has crossed legal lines: According to TMZ, Cyrus’ reported longtime stalker was allegedly arrested outside of the singer’s home.

On January 12, the police were called to Cyrus’ Los Angeles-area home in the early hours of the morning. When authorities arrived at the property around 1 a.m. local time, they found the trespasser bearing a stuffed animal he planned to gift to Cyrus. Law enforcement sources revealed that after being detained, the offender, who attempted to breach Cyrus’ security gate, was revealed to be 52-year-old Alexander Karddalian.

Karddalian’s unhealthy draw to Cyrus allegedly dates as far back as 2018. Out of safety concerns, Cyrus decided to get the courts involved in hopes of deterring future contact attempts by him. Last year, she was granted a restraining order against Karddalian. After this latest incident, Karddalian was booked and arrested by the Los Angeles Police Department for violating that court order.

TMZ reports that although Cyrus was home during the incident, she was not harmed, as Karddalian could not make it past her security detail.

Anderson .Paak has become known for his silky smooth love songs. Sadly, the love that inspired so many of those tracks seems to have fizzled out. According to TMZ, the Grammy Award-winner has filed for divorce from his wife Jae Lin (also known as Jaylyn Chang) after 12 years of marriage.

The outlet alleges that based on court documents, the pair decided to call it quits quite suddenly. Anderson reportedly didn’t provide a formal separation date in the documents obtained by the outlet, instead writing “TBD.” Elsewhere in the filing, Anderson states plainly that he would like to be granted a divorce rather than secure a legal separation (which is required in many states before a divorce can be granted).

As for Anderson’s other requests, he’s seeking joint legal and physical custody of their two young children (Soul Rasheed and Shine). As to visitation, due to Anderson’s work obligations, he wants to iron out a schedule suitable for all parties involved. It’s unclear if the couple entered into a prenuptial agreement. Still, sources told TMZ that Anderson’s legal team is in the process of establishing the couple’s marital assets and property.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The NFL’s Wild Card Weekend will now feature three doubleheaders as Sunday afternoon’s early game between the Steelers and Bills was moved to Monday afternoon due to a winter storm that has dumped snow on the Buffalo area. New York governor Kathy Hochul held a press conference on Saturday to announce the game being moved to 4:30 p.m. on Monday, as the forecast showed continued inclement weather through Sunday.

The snow has been so bad in Buffalo the team put out a call to fans to come help shovel the stadium on Friday, as they were going to need more than just the stadium staff to help clear the snow piling up.

The NFL certainly didn’t want to move a playoff game, but this is one of the benefits of having a Monday night game on Wild Card weekend now, moving the game to Monday afternoon isn’t as odd as it would’ve been in the past, and just creates three straight days of doubleheaders as it will lead into Eagles-Bucs.

The forecast for Monday still has 18 mph winds and snow showers, but it won’t be as bad or as dangerous for fans and workers getting into the stadium. As such, the expectations for how the game is played shouldn’t change too much, but the weatehr should be a little less intense.

Fox News hasn’t had much in the way of advertising for years. Big brands have fled the news network over their oft-controversial — some would say not so truthful — coverage. At least they’ve always had MyPillow. Mike Lindell has long been one of the most frequent faces on there, even if the only things he’s shown doing is hawking his signature bed accessories. Alas, those ads have not been popping up of late, and there’s a reason why.

Per Mediaite, Lindell himself claimed that Fox News was punishing him over his voter fraud conspiracy theorizing, with which he’s been obsessed for over three years.

“Fox News has cancelled MyPillow,” Lindell claimed on Steve Bannon’s podcast War Room. He wondered if “maybe it’s because I brought Lou Dobbs over to my Lindell TV network this week,” referring to the former Fox Business host, who was ousted back in 2021.

“It’s just, it’s disturbing. It’s disgusting,” Lindell added.

But perhaps there’s another reason for the AWOL MyPillow ads. Sources told Mediaite that Fox News hasn’t permanently ended the MyPillow ads. They’re just on pause, all because Lindell hasn’t paid his bills since last August.

“As soon as their account is paid,” a Fox News spokesperson told Mediaite, “we would be happy to accept their advertising.”

Even though Fox News doesn’t get name brands advertising on their network, they’re still doing fine. Last year they managed to accrue more than a billion in ad sales, which may be why they’re cool putting a temporary hold on one of their most famous faces.

Ever since Trump lost re-election in 2020, Lindell has been one of the loudest — and most chaotic — voices claiming it was somehow stolen from him. He’s even spent a good chunk of his own dough fruitlessly trying to prove election malfeasance — all for a guy who doesn’t understand how magnets work.

(Via Mediaite)